Misc.04.27.23

Misc Music Fest lineup announced

In celebration of the last day of classes this spring, The Miscellany News will be hosting its annual Misc Music Fest on Tuesday, May 22 from 5 to 10 p.m. The festival, which will be held on the Vogelstein Center for Drama and Film (CDF) Quad, features a lineup of eight student bands and artists: SHOWFACE, Alouette Batteau, Brook the Band, Clementoon, Fowlmouth, Gauss, Arlington Sunset and Bedlam.

The festival is a true showcase of the vast musical talent and passion this campus has to offer. Moreover, it is representative of the breadth in genres students like to play, assuring that there will be something for everyone to enjoy.

This year's festival is organized by Live Events Chair Catherine Borthwick '24, with graphics designed by Graphics Editor Sandro Lorenzo '24 and promotional video content created by Video Production Manager Ian Herz '23. The festival announcement and lineup were shared on The Miscellany News' social media accounts on Tuesday, April 25, a week before the festival.

Continue reading to learn more about the campus bands and artists that will be playing at Misc Music Fest 2o23.

Looking back on Professor Linn’s work

I didn’t want to teach,” Professor of Art and acclaimed photographer Judy Linn told me as we discussed her upcoming retirement from Vassar, her curation of a new exhibit in the Loeb and her own photographic practice. Linn has been a professor at Vassar since 1999, a position she secured after exhibiting at the Palmer Gallery. Prior to Vassar, she also taught at the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University, Cooper Union and Sarah Lawrence College. Her photographs are included in the collections of the Museum of Modern Art, the Whitney Museum of American Art, the Detroit Art Institute, the Dallas Museum of Art and the Getty Collection, among others.

Taking a cue from an interview of Linn in The New York Times, I first asked about her love of fashion magazines. “Fashion magazines were female, and they were different,” she explained. When photographing Patti Smith in the ’70s, the two would conspire on the clothes and props Smith would use. They met in 1968 and quickly became close, eventually publishing a collection of photographs in a book entitled “Patti Smith 1969–1976.” Linn also photographed numerous fashion shows in the ’80s. There’s a photo entitled “Leg” (1990), taken at a Williwear show, that I found per-

Vassar to go test-optional

OnApril 13, Vassar announced that it will adopt a permanent test-optional policy for future applicants. The press release informs readers that the test-optional policy that has been upheld by the College since the 2020-2021 college application cycle will become permanent during the 2023-2024 admissions cycle. This decision was made in collaboration with the College’s Committee on Admission and Financial Aid (CAFA) and Sonya Smith, the Vice President and Dean of Admission and Student Financial Services.

According to President Elizabeth Bradley, the College’s decision to go permanently test-optional stems from research on standardized testing and its impediment to a holistic application assessment. Bradley further explained, “The biggest downside to standardized testing is that studies show disparities in test scores associated with socioeconomic background, so they can disadvantage outstanding applicants who nonetheless lack the resources needed to be coached or prepared to do well on these tests, thus reducing the chances of college acceptance despite strong qualifications and the exhibited capacity to do well in college.”

plexing. The plastic-like leg is cut from the rest of the figure by black curtains, which suspends the viewer in a state of apprehension—what is to follow? (Williwear was an explosive project by the famous Black fashion designer Willi Smith. The line ended three years after Willi Smith’s sudden death in 1987.)

Before our chat, I looked through Linn’s own work and was hooked by a couple of photos involving slight tilts: a picture of a car coming up a road with a telephone pole that leans a bit far into traffic; a strange house that looks like it was built to rest on a hill, now teleported into an empty, flat landscape; the iconic photograph “213,” depicting three little boys standing on a podium, captured at an odd angle as though Lin was shooting the room from one of the top corners. The figures in “213” are hilarious: the second place looks to the first place winner with a sideways growl, first place smiles awkwardly with his long arms hanging down, and third place sulks and hides under his baseball cap.

Linn also has an eye for the odd and unexpected placement of things. “dendur” (2001) depicts a bright yellow bucket next to a tall Pharaonic figure encased in gray stone. The two objects awkwardly stand side by side and refuse to acknowledge each other. Linn gives us a great view of something oddly comical, and perhaps familiar. “pinhole” (2008) is also charming—a pack

of Camel cigarettes and a plastic film canister lie on a wall-to-wall carpeted floor in a manner that is somehow landscape-like. A landscape for a little bug, perhaps. Regarding curating “The Hairy Leg or What to do Wrong” for the Loeb’s Hoy Gallery, Linn was given access to the entirety of the Loeb’s online archives, basically everything that’s been digitized. “I got to go shopping,” she said. “Things would stop me in my tracks and I would respond to them.” If curating was like shopping, the exhibition is the result of an extensive grocery list that gives viewers enough to chew on for an entire hibernation period (though I wouldn’t call the photographs sleepy). There’s even a photograph by Peter Hujar entitled “Skippy on a Chair (I)” that could punish a sleepy, unsuspecting person. It's a picture of a snake coiled on a chair that hangs low and in the corner on the first wall of the exhibition—you don’t notice it at first, then it seems to leap at you. “Oh yeah, that was intentional,” Linn admitted, “though maybe it would have been even scarier higher up.”

If the snake was too much, one could retreat into Rosalie Thorne McKenna’s “Plantation house, Windsor, Mississippi.”

I found a great sense of calm in the photo with its neoclassical proportionality and little of cows roaming amidst stoic Corinthian pillars. But amidst the stiff-lip proportionality of the Corinthian pillars, the

Many studies support her claim, including the American University School of Education. Its research shows that standardized testing is not an accurate measurement of one’s intelligence or capacity for learning, but rather a measurement of one’s ability to take a test. Further, a study on race, poverty and standardized test scores by Dixon-Román et al. found a strong correlation between wealthy students and high standardized test scores. In other words, those who have access to tutoring, attend well-funded schools and can afford to take the SAT or ACT multiple times are more likely to score higher on these exams. According to the National Education Association, standardized testing began as a way to segregate people of color from schools, jobs and the military.

With undeniable ties between standardized test scores and race and socioeconomic status, it is clear that this form of assessment can be unfair and discriminatory against marginalized students.

In lieu of standardized test scores, Vassar’s admissions officers will focus on other aspects of a student’s application, such as supplemental essays, letters of recommendation, GPA and meaningful extracurricular activities. “When looking at Vassar and academic performance indicators, high school GPA is a strong predictor of college GPA and likelihood of graduation,” Bradley confirmed in an email correspondence.

Shortly after the press releases’ publication, Vassar College uploaded the statement

Sandro Lorenzo/The Miscellany News.

Nina

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Vassar test-optional policy elicits mixed reactions

Continued from Testing on page 1

to its social media accounts. Comments from students, parents and alums came flooding in: The Facebook post announcing the test-optional policy has accrued 137 comments at the time of this article’s publication. One user, Randy DeVoe, commented, “The whole anti-test is stupid because tests are [an] essential part of life. Can we opt out of the LSAT, MCAT, GRE, Series 7.. etc etc? Employers for typical civil service jobs require tests…The US Military requires the ASVAB [sic] test. Should medical students opt out of the Medical Boards? Maybe lawyers could opt out of the Bar exam.” Alum Roberta Green, another opponent of the test-optional policy writes, “Admitting students incapable of competing at the college level will be the result. They will fail, drop out and be burdened with student loan debts. Selective colleges should use every available tool to screen out mediocre applicants. Diplomas should not be participation trophies.”

But many shared their support of the College’s change. Michael Rambadt-Urkiel commented, “Hallelujah!! This is such a terrific step forward and just one more reason to be proud of my Alma mater!” Tulani

Bridgewater-Kowalski ’93 echoed this sentiment: “This is fantastic. Optional is the right move. Some students excel at testing, others do not. This will give admissions greater flexibility to take the entire student into account.”

Vassar’s Linkedin post elicited a similar mix of reactions. Andrew Utas ’09 expressed his disdain for this change, stating, “This will almost certainly allow for more nepotism and to further disadvantage smart, poor kids who can manage to study for relatively elementary tests, but whose resumes are otherwise less impressive. It may also lead to a less-intelligent student body which will either cause the less-intelligent admits to suffer, for the institution to become less rigorous, or both.”

Danny McBee ’10 added, “I look forward to it also becoming transcript optional for folks who are too unstructured for rigid HS curriculums, and essay optional for people who prefer other means of expression rather than writing (TikTok essays?!).”

Among the supporters, Michele Corbett ’07 commented: “What a great way to allow the students to present their whole selves in their application rather than only the ones who take tests well.: Another Vassar

alum, Michele Gibson ’98, wrote: “With all eight Ivy League schools already being test-optional, and after three years of a pilot program, Vassar finally made the switch. I'm thrilled to see this new standard at my alma mater and have no doubt the rigorous vetting process will still yield high-caliber students.”

On campus, students have generally expressed positive sentiments about this change. Naomi Taylor ’24 shared, “While it would’ve been nice if Vassar had decided to go test optional while I was applying, I’m definitely glad that they’re finally doing it for future incoming classes.” She continued, “I don’t think that standardized testing is indicative at all of overall student performance as they are only testing one way of learning and displaying intelligence, which isn’t reflective of the many different ways that people process or present information.”

Tajbiha Faisal ’25 is a supporter of the new test-optional policy as well. “I think students have more to offer a college than just their grades,” she commented.

Despite mixed reactions, Bradley and Smith are confident that this policy will in no way hinder the College’s reputation or academic expectations. Smith notes,

“Vassar has already been test-optional for three years as part of a pilot program. Our students' academic credentials have been as strong as ever.” Chloe Mengden ’24 commented, “I have no doubt that Vassar will continue to recruit exceptional students because I don’t believe that a test score was ever a “make or break” factor for Vassar students who excel in so many areas beyond standardized testing.”

Not requiring applicants to submit test scores is just one way that Vassar is working to break down the various social and racial barriers associated with college admissions. “Our efforts to sustain meeting full demonstrated financial need, collaborations with Questbridge and College Horizons, and our Vassar Vets program are all initiatives to ensure we recruit strongly from all socioeconomic groups,” Bradley explained.

Smith expressed a similar sentiment, concluding: “Whether it's visiting a wide range of high schools throughout the country in the fall, hosting unique on-campus programming for prospective students like Rooted: Community at Vassar, or collaborating with college access organizations, we strive to cast a wide net because we know talent comes from every zip code."

Baldwin to become new Center for Multidisciplinary Studies

vancing our thinking about multidisciplinarity at Vassar.”

For years, there have been ongoing discussions among students and faculty about what a “Center for Multidisciplinary (MD) Studies” might look like. From architecture to location and design, Director of International Studies Timothy Koechlin says this decade-long project to find a home for the 17 collaborative and cross-disciplinary programs is finally coming to fruition in Baldwin, the current center for Health Service.

In response to these changes, the Design Workshop intensive class in the Urban Studies Department at Vassar, which focuses on experimenting with what it looks like to bring discussion spaces into the context of projects on campus, held its second discussion on Friday, April 21, to bring students, faculty and community members into conversation. Dina Onish ’23, a member of the class, said, “We were thinking about space as it relates to knowledge and power specifically because of the context of a college campus and the power relationships embodied in built structures.”

The class is taught by Director of Urban Studies Tobias Armborst. He added that parallel to this design process, “The students in my Design Workshop Intensive have been working this semester with Tatlock Fellow Damon Rich on ways to bridge between the two separate realm in which we discuss space and spatial relations on campus: On the one hand the practical world of campus planning and capital projects, and on the other hand the academic discussion of space, power and knowledge in the classroom and in scholarly work.”

According to a written statement from Dean of Strategic Planning and Academic Resources Marianne Begemann, “The idea to use Baldwin as a Center for Multidisciplinary Study (CMS) evolved out of a series of efforts that engaged faculty, students and staff about the goals and needs for multidisciplinarity at Vassar beginning around 2012. Those conversations engaged internal campus stakeholders and various architectural firms, who assisted in ad-

According to Onish, architects were selected last fall. Begemann added, “In response to an RFP (request for proposals) that was issued last spring, we interviewed design firms both via zoom and on campus, ultimately deciding to engage LTL (Lewis Tsurumaki Lewis) to develop a schematic design (conceptual design) for the renovation of Baldwin as a CMS. LTL is in the discovery phase of their work at this time.”

In a written statement, Koechlin said, “Those discussions have been fascinating, frustrating and enlightening. But equally importantly, this challenge—what will the new home of the MDs look like? —has forced and allowed us to engage in an ongoing discussion about the importance and ‘mission’ of the MD programs, the relationships between and among the programs, and the ways in which our physical, built and thoughtfully designed home might allow us to do our work more effectively.”

Many students, faculty and community members sat in on the discussion Friday, located behind Baldwin in a small grass area. With live music and food, the event enabled discussion on what a redesign of Baldwin would require, how the College should think about space and the importance of encountering other Vassar community members.

Koechlin said, “Many of these encounters are unplanned.” He added, “I missed these ‘unplanned’ encounters during the darkest days of the pandemic. My hope is that our new center for multidisciplinary study will be a place of rich, transformative encounters. My hope is that its design will facilitate these sorts of encounters.”

Koechlin noted that these unplanned encounters with other people in MD studies are what make Vassar such an invigorating college experience. He wrote, “Our individual programs have our own steering committees, requirements, etc. But we are also part of a shared project. (One conclusion we reached early on in our discussions … we'd like our MD offices to be in the same space.)”

Director of Environmental Studies Mary

Ann Cunningham agrees that the MDs should have a central location: “I would say that participants in the multis have long agreed that it is very important to have a shared space, for community building, events, and informal hang-out space, as well as offices and classrooms. Certainly students could use this, and the administrative assistants who do so much for the programs deserve a space where they can feel that they are part of a community and gather informally. Faculty would also appreciate this.”

Much of the excitement for a new Center for Multidisciplinary Studies comes from the history of the program’s lack of a formal office space. Onish added, “All the multidisciplinary programs used to be housed in New England, and when they renovated New England, everyone was moved to the Old Laundry Building as a short-term solution to finding them a new home building, but they have been in OLB much longer than they were supposed to. The answer to finding the Multidisciplinary Programs a new home is to redevelop Baldwin.”

Koechlin agreed with these sentiments. He said, “[W]e relocated (temporarily) to the Old Laundry Building (OLB), which has been the home of the MD programs ever since. We—multidisciplinary faculty, students and staff—have had lots of conversations about what a great MD space might look like over the years. These conversations have been wonderful and, at times, frustrating. I don’t think any of us imagined that we’d still be at it 10 years after we left New England Building.”

Onish noted that the Design Workshop class and the plans for Baldwin are separate spheres.

One idea that is growing momentum is limiting the traffic that goes through the center of campus, according to Onish. “The whole project comes out of the Campus Master Planning Committee. One of the ideas that is getting a lot of action behind it is to very dramatically reduce the amount of car traffic that goes through campus,” she said. “On a long-term plan for that, they are moving things that require cars to the outskirts of campus, that’s why the

new admissions building will be behind Joss. Health facilities, which obviously requires vehicle transport access, would also be in a place that doesn’t go through the center of campus.”

According to Begemann, plans to move the current offices of Baldwin, Student Employment and Human Resources, Health Service and Accounting Services are still to be decided. “We are in the process of determining where these offices would be relocated when Baldwin becomes a Center for Multidisciplinary Study,” she said. “In addition to the two floors of Old Laundry Building currently occupied by the multis, with the planned Bartlett Center for Admission and Career Education, space will be available in Kautz House and on the first floor of Main. There may be other options as well.”

Armborst said, “Events like the one on Friday might help both make the mechanics of campus planning more visible to the college community, and inform planning processes with broader concepts of multidisciplinary spaces.” He added, “What we are envisioning is not a collection of offices for 17 programs, but an exciting space of exchange and conversation, and a place for the many Vassar students in multidisciplinary majors.

jacques abou-rizk News editor

Jacques Abou-Rizk/The Miscellany News.

ARTS

‘A long time coming’: Taylor Swift's 'Eras Tour' dazzles Tampa

Emma lawrence Columnist

As the clock struck 8 p.m. on a hot Tampa, FL, evening in April, over 70,000 “Swifties” screamed in anticipation for this long awaited moment: Taylor Swift was about to enter the building. Glittery costumes filled the arena. “The Eras Tour” was just beginning, and fans from all over were eager to spend three hours with Swift herself.

Swift began her set by appearing from underneath a cloud of massive fans held by backup dancers dressed in shades of pinks and blues. Singing a fitting lyric from her track “Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince”: “It’s been a long time coming but/ It’s you and me, that’s my whole world,'' she described how she has been eager to tour for five long years, but COVID threw a wrench in her plans. Fans were abuzz on TikTok, enthusiastically predicting how she would open such a show with so much ground to cover. I anticipated an entrance reminiscent of her previous Reputation Stadium Tour with “...Ready For It,” but she later astounded the crowd with that intense number.

She commenced her set with the “Lover” era, the first of 10 she would be taking her audience through this evening. The Floridian sunset created an atmosphere similar to the album cover; the sky was painted in romantic hues that set the tone for the evening. The bridge of “Cruel Summer” hit the audience hard—the crowd either stared in awe at Swift or yelled the iconic lyrics until their vocal chords were fried. Yet Swift’s powerful voice echoed throughout the stadium as she belted out incredible high notes.

The audience then entered its “Fearless” era, which includes songs such as “You Belong with Me” and “Love Story.” Swift asked the audience if they would “go back to high school” with her for these iconic tracks, and

she was met with astounding screams in response. Even chaperoning parents who were forced to attend hummed the lyrics that brought Swift fame. Revisiting her old work has been an elemental part of Swift’s career—she is currently working on re-recording her masters that Scooter Braun unrightfully sold, with “Fearless (Taylor’s Version)” being the first. As reported by Nina Ajemian, “Big Machine sold her masters to Scooter Braun, who re-sold them for $300 million to Shamrock Holdings. Braun is the manager of numerous artists, among them Kanye West, who infamously interrupted Swift at the 2009 MTV Music Video Awards.”

Swift then shifted from glittery outfits and bodysuits to a flowy yellow dress that altered the mood entirely. “evermore,” her ninth studio album, was the second passion project that Swift created during the pandemic, as a sister album to “folklore.” The crowd was transported to a woodsy landscape where Swift lived in isolation, writing non-autobiographical music for the first time. Songs like “tolerate it” were evocative of a musical theater production as Swift climbed across a long dining room table, singing to a lover that simply won’t listen to what she has to say. Her dramatic performance style shined through.

In a complete 180, Swift transitioned to her “reputation” era— bitter, angry and powerful. She sang lyrically cunning songs that detail her life in hiding from the media. From “Look What You Made Me Do” to “Don’t Blame Me,” Swift flipped her hair in angst, and the entire stadium lost their minds. Iconic “Swiftie” chants were ever-present at “The Eras Tour,” such as yelling “One, two, three, let’s go, bitch!” during the opening of “Delicate.” There is no hidden meaning behind such a phrase— it simply worked well with the music and stuck.

A questionably short “Speak Now” era

followed, with Swift only performing one song: “Enchanted.” Appearing in a long, sparkly pink dress that was enchanting to look at in and of itself, Swift elegantly made her way down the stage and acknowledged the crowd. Many fans on TikTok speculate this era’s abbreviated performance to be an Easter egg for her latest rerecording, but we can never be too sure according to Edinburgh News' Beth Franklin.

“It feels like a perfect night/ To dress up like hipsters/ And make fun of our exes,” rang throughout the stadium as Swift entered dressed in a tee that read “A lot going on at the moment.” And indeed there was. Swift had entered 2012, the year “Red” was released. Sparkles, a common theme for this tour, lit up the stadium in red and black.

Swift and her dancers made their way around the whole stage, causing fans to uproar. After performing some of her greatest hits, she concluded the “Red” era with an extended song from her re-recording. “All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)” electrified the stadium. I felt like I was in my bedroom crying to this song with my closest friends. This song is one of her best, in my humble opinion, due to its bewitching lyricism that tells a story of a broken relationship.

The audience then entered what Swift describes as the “folklorian woods,” the same place “evermore” is set. Swift pranced around in another flowy dress with sleeves that mimicked wings. On the day of folklore’s surprise release in the summer of 2020, Swift tweeted, “In isolation my imagination has run wild and this album is the result. I’ve told these stories to the best of my ability with all the love, wonder, and whimsy they deserve. Now it’s up to you to pass them down.” Identical to her 2021 Grammys performance, Swift opened by laying on the roof of a cabin. Instead of singing “cardigan,” she performs “the 1,”

a story of reflecting on a relationship that will never succeed due to circumstance. My favorite part of “The Eras Tour” was “august,” where a young girl thinks back on a summer fling. Swift truly created another world instrumentally with each and every track on this album. “August slipped away like a bottle of wine/ ‘Cause you were never mine” filled the stadium, and fans went nuts. The lyrics spoke for themselves—there was no need for a flashy performance.

Swift strutted down the runway to “Style” next, throwing the audience into New York glitz and glamor with the “1989” era. Her demeanor was sassy, as if she knew the power she held performing these pop masterpieces. Swift’s pink two-piece shined as she sashayed by me, and I remained mesmerized by her attitude. “Blank Space” was quite the show, as she brought golf clubs to the stage and smashed an image of a car, imitating the track’s famous music video.

Finally, Swift began her last era, “Midnights,” her latest pop music endeavor. After releasing the album in October 2022, she became the first artist to ever encompass the entire top 10 of the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Chart. “Lavender Haze” sent the audience in a tizzy as purple clouds held by backup dancers pranced all around the stage. The entire stadium sparkled as “Bejeweled” began, and Swift “made the whole place shimmer.” Even little Swifties knew all the words. And finally, Swift brought everyone to their feet with the grand finale “Karma.” Confetti covered each area of the stadium, and many scrambled to get their hands on a few pieces to take home as mementos.

Overall, my experience at Taylor Swift’s “The Eras Tour” was one that I will cherish for a lifetime—each song has a special place in my heart. The three-hour-long spectacle may have caused my feet to ache the next day, but it was absolutely worth it.

ARTS

Reflecting on retiring Professor Judy Linn's photography

Continued from Professor on page 1

cows and their carefree attitude give us a little comic relief; it’s like they never noticed that the building had disappeared. Linn’s theory on columns around buildings has to do with their similarity to sacred groves of trees arranged in circles found in nature; the groves often became ritual spaces for humans. If tree circles became the columns in ancient Greek architecture, then the columns of the house in “Plantation house, Windsor, Mississippi” seem to be evolving back into tree-like forms populated by grazing cows. There’s another picture of cows photographed by an anonymous photographer that nonetheless placed (perhaps unintentionally) their own long, protruding shadow, which bleeds across the whole picture. “Now that’s a genuine mistake, but it's quite beautiful because it makes the whole foreground,” Linn explained.

“It makes me so happy precisely because it's a disaster!” Meanwhile, I sounded like a disaster while trying to explain why I liked it so much; even now I still can’t put my finger on it. It’s dreamy but not surreal; it’s soft and mystical, but with a huge gash across the surface. I can stand behind what art critic Hilton Als said about good photographs in a piece on Linn for BOMB magazine: “Good photographs generally deny verbalization; verbalization generally leads to sarcasm.”

Another favorite of Linn and I’s was a photograph by Robert Frank of his wife, “Mary.” “There’s a huge scratch across the surface of that photograph,” Linn told me.

It was only at the end of our chat that I brought up Linn’s connection to Patti Smith. I didn’t really need the origin story; I could find it in any one of the countless interviews of Linn on her friendship with the rockstar. Instead, I just wanted to know if the two still hang out. “We speak on the phone and it's always ‘we should get together!’ but both of us are relieved we don’t do it,” Linn admitted. It’s like getting to plan a whole get-together—going over what you plan to do, affirming that you both still like each other—without the real effort of actually getting together. Sounds pretty familiar to me.

New movie 'Suzume' inspires review of anime soundtracks

Jesse Koblin Assistant Arts Editor

For most of my teenage years, I’ve been following what I consider to be an underrated facet of the music industry: anime soundtracks. With the rising popularity of the genre in the West, there have been signs of Japanese anime music breaking through cultural divides, such as SiM’s “The Rumbling” recently topping Billboard’s Hard Rock list. The subliminal and cerebral world of anime soundtracks remains under the radar but is excellent regardless, with the soundtrack to Makoto Shinkai’s latest anime movie “Suzume” being a recent example. Shinkai is an auteur invested in his work’s auditory experiences (see the incredible soundtracks of “Weathering With You” and “Your Name”). Accordingly, hearing the vibrancy and craft of “Suzume”’s soundtrack, composed by Kazuma Jinnouchi and the band Radwimps, was so infectious that it prompted me to re-explore my favorite music from anime media. The animation style’s deeply-emotive quality stems from its definitive soundtracks, which conjure heartbreak, hatred and hype in equal measure. Below are my front-runner anime soundtracks and why I love them!

“Neon Genesis Evangelion” (1994–2013 TV series, original soundtrack composed by Shirō Sagisu)

Oh, Evangelion. You are weird. As an anime (in)famous for its subversion of the male gaze, arthouse character studies and images of Christian angels metaphorizing depression, the music throughout the franchise sure is strangely cheery. The danceable “Peaceful Times” has the upbeat lilt of a workout song, replete with lush strings and lute blushes. “Misato” could very well be a rejected sitcom intro. Even “Komm Süsser Tod,” a seven-minute vocal opus that scores a literal Biblical apocalypse in “End of Evangelion,” has a battered sort of joy. Of course, this tonal mismatch is an intentional sleight of hand. Encroaching dread suffuses all moments of

soaring joy and perennial anime optimism on the soundtrack. Despondence turns to sedate calm and primal terror to contentment. Brutality is more visceral when set to the classical orchestra of “Air” or the Portishead-inspired jazz fusion of “Thanatos–If I Can’t Be Yours.” (Also, shoutout to “A Cruel Angel’s Thesis” and “Fly Me To The Moon” for being the definitive power duo of anime opening and ending themes.)

“FLCL” (2000–01 original video animation, original soundtrack composed by The Pillows and Shinkichi Mitsumune)

“FLCL” is a quintessential product of the turn of the millennium—vibrant, edgy, stylized, kinetic and utterly bizarre. It is anime at its most paradigmatic, and its accompanying soundtrack by the indie rock band The Pillows is inseparable from the OVA’s deluge of chaotic delights. The overwhelming fuzz of the grimy lead bass in “sleepy head” underpins explosions into action and neon animation. Scenes of misspent youth shirk responsibility to the tune of “i think i can,” featuring grungy guitar riffage and an anthemic hook dripping with teenage immortality. Want to get your heart pulled out of your chest? “Bran-new Lovesong” is your ticket, instantly transporting you back to doomed first romances. “Last Dinosaur,” an elegy to fleeting moments, conveys a similar ache. “FLCL” is about being young, stupid and in love (and about aliens, too). Its soundtrack spans vitality and yearning, perfectly capturing that saturated nostalgia.

“Initial D” (1998–2014 TV series, original soundtrack composed by various artists on the Japanese label Avex Trax)

Undoubtedly the anime soundtrack that has caused the most speeding tickets, “Initial D”’s animated history has seen a revolving door of Eurobeat bangers extolling the need for speed. Its prestigious lineage has popularized the mega-meme songs “Deja Vu,” “Gas Gas Gas” and “Running in The 90’s,” which you either know and love or are ashamed

to admit you know and love. Digging into the soundtrack backlog unearths the lesser-known, deeply underrated “Killing My Love” and “Remember Me.” Embrace the kitschy, overproduced adrenaline rush and the late-’90s cheese. Embrace the need to abandon all financial sense and go into debt, kitting out a boxy Japanese sedan. Embrace becoming one with the machine and assimilating into the car itself. You are speed—pure energy—and the road ahead is all that exists.

“The animation style's deeply-emotive quality stems from its definitive soundtracks, which conjure heartbreak and, hype in equal measure."

“Samurai Champloo” (2004–05 TV series, original soundtrack composed by Shinji "Tsutchie" Tsuchida, Fat Jon, Nujabes, Force of Nature and Shing02)

Nujabes and Fat Jon’s contribution to music with this score is indelible. The chilled-out downtempo hip-hop rhythms of “Samurai Champloo” pairs perfectly with a series fusing badass bushido action with wistful philosophical musings. Nujabes is rightfully considered the forerunner of low-fidelity hip-hop (also known as “chill-hop” to those who study with the Lofi Girl stream), and his sonic vision has, without hyperbole, formed the musical subconscious of a generation. “Battlecry” is the song that woke bleary-eyed millennials up on the couch at 3 a.m. as “Champloo” played on Adult Swim. Shing02’s off-beat rapping, a pillowy synth and shaker breakbeat, and fragmentary piano chords staggering over the rhythm infuse “Battlecry” with the transcendent peace of a hazily-remembered

dream. “The Space Between Worlds” is the metaphysics of time transcribed into sonic form—steady, impassive, melancholic. “Just Forget” is the perfect companion to reminiscence. “Aruarian Dance” is a legitimate masterpiece, more life-affirming than any other composition I’ve heard. The final track, “Shiki No Uta,” sees MInmi’s angelic vocals soar over a piano-lead beat that feels like sand between your toes and complete freedom.

“Welcome to the N.H.K.” (2006 TV series, original soundtrack composed by Pāru Kyōdai, also known as The Pearl Brothers)

“Welcome to the N.H.K.” is a crushing wave of social truths, a masterstroke on spectatorship, adulthood, lethargy, depression, sensationalization, and late-stage capitalist reality. Its music oscillates between out-of-body moodiness and manic corporeality. “Yousokou! Hitori Bocchi” exists in the former camp, slowly building into catharsis before monotone vocals fade away, dueling synths wail in desperation, and electronic clangor screeches across the track like tires ripping across the asphalt. The low-key “Gosui ni Tarasu Tsuri Ito” prolongs the soundtrack’s abject misery; the track uses dynamics with a faint buzz barely heard, and watery synths wavering in stereo evoke a calm resignation to defeat. “Ikasuze!

Positive Thinking” is a stark contrast, with twee vocals by Shibuya-Kei that raise the pulse with polyrhythmic guitar spinning twinkling melodic lattice. “The Journey After The Storm” is beautifully light, letting the listener inhabit the world through a new, musical form; humdrum life gains poetic humility, grayscale vistas flood with color, and sudden rainstorms are joyous; disjointed daily vignettes stitch together and gain meaning. (If you can’t already tell, I love this track.)

For online readers, here is a playlist of the soundtracks mentioned in the article, plus an extra playlist containing other miscellaneous anime soundtracks that have stuck with me. Let’s all enjoy the beauty of music and animation!

Kai Speirs/The Miscellany News.

“Linn gives us a great view of something oddly comical, and perhaps familiar."

“'It makes me so happy precisely because it's a disaster!'”

ARTS

Meet the bands at Misc Music Festival 2023

Continued from Concert on page 1

SHOWFACE

Ronan Sidoti '23 – vox/guitar

John Frazier '23 – bass

Alex Koester '23 – drums

SHOWFACE is an indie punk trio comprised of John Frazier, Alex Koester and Ronan Sidoti. They met at Vassar in 2019 and just released new music. From the cement lairs of basement shows to venues all around NYC, they are known for their harsh sound and electric chemistry, which are on full display at any live show they play. @showfaceband

Clementoon

Averre Neff '24 – vox/guitar

Rivers Liu '22 – guitar/banjo

Emmett Cashman '23 – bass

James Mannix '24 - drums

Clementoon was born in the embers of a Nashville DIY scene, emerging as an alt-country songwriter with a sincerity that transmutes early-20s dismay into gentle sonic bliss. Clementoon sings about everyday questions, pickup trucks and the mysteries of faith.

Bedlam

Denver Brown '26 - vox/guitar

Duncan Beauchamp '26 - drums

Walt Schoen '26 - guitar/vox

Kalina Sloat '26 - bass

Bedlam was formed in the fall of 2022 by Denver Brown, who reached out to fellow first-years Schoen, Beauchamp and Sloat to cement the band’s current lineup. After their first performance in October 2022, Bedlam began to develop a catalog of original songs. On Tuesday, Bedlam will begin to unveil these original compositions as it establishes a greater presence on campus and beyond.

Arlington Sunset

Eli Cuomo '24 - vox/guitar

Jo Shain '24 - vox/drums

Max Weiner '23 - vox/bass

Arlington Sunset is a three-piece alternative rock outfit from Poughkeepsie, New York. The band name was inspired by a song from the band “calm” yet the music they play is anything but. The band consists of Jo Shain on drums and vocals, Eli Cuomo on guitar and vocals and Max Weiner on bass and vocals. With a mix of tasteful covers and even tastier originals, you’ll want to check out what they got.

Alouette Batteau

Alouette Batteau '23 – vox/guitar

Carly D' Antonio '23 – guitar

Catherine Borthwick '24– bass

Karun Krishnamurthy '24 - drums

Alouette Batteau will be bringing a full band to Vassar’s Spring Concert that will ooze queer-pop-punk and indie-r&b grooves, surfing the spectrum from vampiric liminality to dentist-chair dread. Magnetic melodies and cathartic guitar riffs add to the allure of their intelligent and insightful lyrics, creating a full moon force that’s impossible to resist.

Gauss

Augustus Tarver '25 – drums

Roswell Wendel '24 - bass

Sam Lytel '24 - vox/guitar

Born from an East-Coast West-Coast collaboration, Gauss marries the rhythm and drums of alternative hip hop with the sound of American and British indie and grunge.

fowlmouth

Julia Maisel-Berick '24 - vox/guitar/ mandolin

Rachel Ostrowski '24 - vox/guitar

Lauren Pacheco ''4 - vox/guitar

Moms call us the Indigo Girls, friends call us boygenius, we call us fowlmouth. Hear a taste of our Misc Fest set by listening to our debut EP, "Safety Last!"

Brook the Band

Nate Asbury '23 - vox/guitar

Ben Holmes '23 - guitar

James Mannix '24 - drums

Max Weiner '23 - bass

Brook T. Band, aged three years and 11 months, will pass on to the next life on Tuesday, preceded in death by sister bands yarn. and Pander. Conceived through Facebook messages between Asbury and Holmes, the Band proudly served as one of the finest acts for students to use as background noise for mid-party makeout sessions. We ask all those in attendance to conduct their moshing and raging in a manner reflective of the respectful and dignified life the band shared with us.

Ian Herz/The Miscellany News.

Image courtesy of Fox '23.

Image courtesy of Marina Smith-Hanke '24.

Image courtesy of Clay Childress.

Image courtesy of Leela Khatri '26.

Image courtesy of Andie Authers '25.

Image courtesy of Preston Bowe '24.

Image courtesy of Nate Asbury '23.

Compiled by Ganesh Pillai and Katherine Borthwick.

Student-musician Sam Hurwitz releases second album

Mattie Vandiver Guest Columnist

Last Friday, April 21, I sat on a bench by Sunset Lake amongst the honking geese making their nests and the floating fiddle tunes coming from the nearby Outing Club Folk Fest while talking with Sam Hurwitz ’25 about his newly released second album, “The Optimist.” Hurwitz began by speaking about music creation as intrinsic to his identity as a storyteller. Music performance has always played a role in Hurwitz’s life. At age two, he was strumming a toy guitar, and at age nine, he had his first stage performance. However, it was the storytelling aspect of music and songwriting that made music an essential part of his life.

“I love making individual songs, but I’ve always been attracted to the album as an art form, in making the sum of its parts to be just as powerful (or more) than the whole.” Hurwitz explained the process of creating the album as a connected work of art. “[It’s about] the narrative, the journey, the way songs transition, and most of all, how it feels like a part of my life. This is me documenting [who I was].” In a time where most people seek out individual songs to listen to and put on playlists to tell their own stories, it can be difficult to market an album as a complete work. Hurwitz is up to the challenge of telling full stories instead of separated pieces.

Hurwitz’s first album, “I Drowned & I Woke Up” (2021) had a more linear approach to storytelling. Hurwitz commented: “[L] ife isn’t like that, so I decided to end [‘The Optimist’] with a rather sad song…There is a story [in this album], but it isn’t linear, so there’s a lot of ups, downs and interludes. With this album, I think I was trying to get people to feel a bit less safe, less understood, than with my first album.” By weaving a complicated fabric of sounds of piano pop, rock, orchestral string sections and brass instruments with a throughline of folk, Hurwitz has made a creation that really mimics the waves of life in all its highs and lows. He recognized that this approach may be a bit more risky, less catchy and less accessible, but he liked that it invites people to spend more time with the music to allow it to sink in and establish connection with the stories being told.

The idea for “The Optimist” clicked while sifting through childhood photos one night in his room. “I had a thought that I wanted to do a self-titled record but not called Sam Hurwitz…The theme [of this album] is that [the songs are] all pieces of me that I’m trying to cling to—it is an excavation of myself…and an excavation of a deeper self-love,” Hurwitz reflected. He laughed, describing that the title “The Optimist” may have been a bit sarcastic at first, considering the sad themes in

many of the songs and the initial album cover idea of wearing a mask with a smiley face. Later, he realized that the songs were really about resilience and hope through sadness, not sadness itself.

I invite you to hear this story from Sam

Hurwitz, a storyteller through music that transfers complete emotions and images. Listen to his album, “The Optimist,” on any streaming platform. You will hear the story of the artist and perhaps find your own story told within the lyrics as well.

The Cushing Carnival cultivates rich community

Richard Lu Assistant Social Media Editor

House pride is a very important aspect of Vassar’s culture, and it begins right as one moves into their dorm. Residential Life (ResLife) events are times where this pride is expressed through community bonding. Posters for these events are plastered around each nook and cranny of the residence halls, and students—especially first-years—are encouraged to attend. A few weeks prior to the Cushing Carnival, I ran into one of these posters. Having come back from the Loeb and being a short walk away from Josselyn House, I just knew I had to attend.

The Cushing Carnival took place on April 16 from 3 to 6 p.m. This was Cushing House’s all-campus event, calling for everyone to join the festivities. Attendees were met with a variety of attractions including a dunk tank, a slip and slide, a petting zoo and some inflatable bumper balls. After taking a look around, attendees could treat themselves with pizza courtesy of Bacio’s, mocktails, ice pops and popcorn. There were also games such as darts and balloon popping that gave tickets to those who won, ultimately leading to a raffle for dinosaur plushies. Over a dozen prizes were handed out to the hopeful crowd. I was very lucky to have received a prize and had the pleasure of taking it home.

Cushing House Advisor Bianca Keesler was the organizing force behind the Cushing Carnival. Keesler acts as a liaison between ResLife and Cushing House, offering support to both students and House Team members alike. Speaking on her role as a House Advisor, Keesler notes, “My biggest, and most favorite, role is that of a support person. If someone is going through a rough time, needs advice or misses their pets and just wants to hang out with my cats, I'm happy to be there.” She advised the House Team committees preparing for the event and brought in the voices of other Cushing residents. The mission statement of ResLife is to provide students of all

walks of life in the residential community with a safe space to live and activities that complement academics. The Cushing Carnival was one of the ways these goals were achieved.

One cannot forget the invaluable efforts and dedication of the Cushing House Team that made this event possible. “House Team worked extremely hard to put it all together, and I couldn't be prouder of them,” Keesler expressed. Cushing House Vice President Madeline Galian ’25 played a vital role in the planning of the Cushing Carnival. “The planning process actually took all year,” she explained. “All of [the] Cushing House Team was involved… [and lots] of effort and creativity went into planning this event.” Galian joined House Team because the coziness of Cushing House really spoke to her. Before long, she knew that she wanted to contribute to the community and plan fun events: “[Cushing is] such a beautiful house with so many great people and I’m so thrilled that the carnival was so successful!”

Irene Kim ’26 was happy to try something new at the Cushing Carnival. “My favorite moment was playing in the big, clear, inflatable bubble that you can go inside and roll around in,” she described. “I've always wanted to try out one of those, and [I’m glad] I was finally able to!” Galian thought the event was a great way to let loose and share special memories with friends. “My favorite moment at the Cushing Carnival was definitely seeing my bestie Jude Borromeo (Treasurer of Cushing) get dunked!” she recalled. Being a passionate animal lover, I was especially happy to have had the opportunity to pet a kangaroo and pet baby chicks. The Cushing Carnival truly achieved its purpose of bringing the Vassar community together.

Beyond the Cushing Carnival, there exists community building fostered by the Student Fellows of each house. Arily Velasco ’25 is a Student Fellow in Cushing House and can attest to the community building from her experiences., “I applied to be a

Student Fellow because I wanted to foster a closer relationship with first-year students to [create] a home away from home, just like my Student Fellow did for me,” Velasco explained. “Cushing is the best [dorm] on campus because we welcome everyone and make them feel part of the family.” Student Fellow Finley Greene ’25 shared similar sentiments, stating, “I was inspired to become a Student Fellow by the kindness of last year’s House Team and a desire to create a more welcoming environment for first-year students.”

Neil Kotru Gode ’26 is a prospective Cushing Student Fellow for the 2023-2024 year. As an international student from India, he was apprehensive about the transition process into an American college as a foreigner but found solace in his Student Fellow, who he called a big sibling of sorts. Gode has many hopes for the 2023-2024 academic year, especially in his role as a mentor for first-year students. “Above all else, I hope to be as effective in aiding the

orientation and transition of my fellowees as possible,” he said. “If I can succeed at that while also being involved in House Team… I'll know I achieved what I hoped to do as a Student Fellow.”

The Cushing Carnival has had an uplifting effect on the morale of Vassar students, creating a more close-knit community. Greene is glad that ResLife has been able to help students relax: “It’s easy to forget how important it is to keep playing… I hope that the carnival brought people together from different houses and gave everyone a chance to laugh and de-stress.” Cushing House pride has also grown stronger, as shown by Gode’s enthusiasm: “Cushing's chant is absolutely spot-on because we are indeed good-looking, and we do indeed keep pushing. Cush Crew forever!” In support of students studying for their upcoming finals, Keesler has some encouraging words: “Cushing! Cushing! We keep pushing! Push on through finals, and enjoy the summer!”

Richard Lu/The Miscellany

Image courtesy of Sam Hurwitz '25.

Investigating the cultural phenomena of people-watching

Kathryn Carvel Copy Staff

Ihavealways been a curious person. As someone who wants to learn about everything that is happening around me, I realized at a young age that the best way to learn is by watching others. Thus commenced a lifelong habit and love of people-watching. I always thought that it was a bit of an unhealthy habit. Some may say it’s borderline stalking—depends on how you look at it and who you talk to. But then I got to Vassar. Though it often goes unsaid, Vassar has a fascinating culture of people-watching.

Vassar’s small campus, complete with large windows everywhere, fosters a people-watching culture that you don’t get in the “real world.” People you know are always around, and Vassar makes it easy to pull up a chair and observe them. Plus, in my unbiased opinion, Vassar students tend to be very interesting, making them fantastic subjects to observe.

For a while, I thought this habit of people-watching was a weird thing my roommate and I would do. Living on the Noyes-Circle side of Noyes House, we both have our own massive bay windows. Naturally, we love to sit in them and watch the traffic in between class times, occasionally even calling down to our friends. We would say, “Hey, look. It’s so and so!” and then continue our homework or whatever task we were working on. Occasionally, if it was a close enough friend, we might even snap a picture of them. This, we thought, was approaching slight stalker behavior, so we tried to avoid it, or at least avoid telling people about it.

Until, as I was walking to French class one

day, my friend Julia Weinberg ’26 [Disclaimer: Weinberg is Assistant Copy Editor for The Miscellany News], who lives in Lathrop, snapped my picture and sent it to me. She was in COVID isolation, sitting and staring out the window at non-quarantine life. I was thrilled to learn that my roommate and I were not the only people-watchers of Vassar. I started asking around about this cultural phenomenon and learned that it is actually quite common around campus.

Allison Lowe ’26 [Disclaimer: Lowe is on Copy Staff for The Miscellany News] shared my interest in people-watching. “Yeah, I like to people-watch to see what my friends are doing around campus.” As a resident of Jewett, she does not have the same easy access to a constant flow of people walking through the Nircle (Noyes Circle) like I do. Lowe said, “My favorite places to people-watch are the Quad and the one table in the Library that’s upstairs next to the Reading Room. It’s in front of this huge window where you can see people walking on the Library Lawn and the Quad.” Lowe took the stance of it being morally okay to watch people you are friends with, but she tries to avoid watching people she doesn’t know.

Sadie Keesbury ’26 [Disclaimer: Keesbury is Crossword Editor for The Miscellany News] felt that the playing ground for people-watching spanned greater distances. “I love people-watching from my Noyes window and I love people-watching from the Deece. When it's in the Deece, it's more like eavesdropping.”

Though Keesbury enjoys people-watching her friends, she prefers people-watching strangers. She explained, “But the strangers I have invented narratives for in my mind. I have favorite strangers.” When watching

strangers, it becomes a game for Keesbury where she can invent backstories for the people she is watching.

Weinberg agreed: “I love creating stories based on the little parts of people's lives that I get to see. Also, people-watching gives you fragments from a wide variety of lives. By assembling those little pieces, you can construct a more comprehensive map of humanity.” People-watching sparks a creative part of people’s minds and gives them space in their everyday lives to use their imaginations for mundane parts of their day. It also gives a greater understanding of the people around you.

Matt O’Leary ’26 also indulges in people-watching from time to time. When asked about his people-watching habits, he said, “I love people-watching. Especially in the morning. That’s when the kids start waking up, so out of the window, I make whatever sound effect comes to mind to mess with them.” The act of people-watching seemed like a regular part of O’Leary’s daily routine. However, for him it was more about watching strangers and messing with them than checking in on what his friends are up to. It becomes entertainment for the watcher as well as a learning experience.

Keesbury echoed this interest in messing with strangers. “When I see people whose names I know but don’t know me, I like to sit in my window and shout their names just loud enough so they hear it but not loud enough so they know where it's coming from.”

Though this is a lot of fun for the people-watcher, one could question the morality of people-watching. Is it an invasion of people’s privacy? Weinberg shared, “As a natural-

ly privacy-oriented person, I'm really careful to be aware of respecting people's boundaries. I'm very quick to look away! Everyone people-watches to some extent, and it can be more or less judgemental given your mindset.” Though people-watching can be fun, it is important to respect people’s boundaries and privacy, and keep an open mind. You don’t want to fall back on assumptions based on just one people-watching experience.

Keesbury also acknowledged the importance of not crossing personal boundaries. However, she had strong feelings on the morality of people-watching. “People-watching is super moral. You are people-watching in public places. If you are people-watching through the windows in people’s rooms, then that is super weird, or if you are people-watching in the bathroom. Don’t people-watch in the bathroom or other private spaces.” She stated, “If you don’t want to get people-watched in public, don’t people in public.” A solid point made by Keesbury. If you are doing something interesting in a public space, it is a natural human response to watch and want to learn more. So, it is understandable that on a small campus like Vassar where a lot of people know each other, or at least recognize each other, you might get watched.

Though it is important that you are not invading people’s personal privacy, it is totally okay to indulge in some good old-fashioned spying or whatever you want to call it. It’s free entertainment provided to you by the interesting students of Vassar, so why not take advantage of it? As Keesbury said, “If you haven’t tried it, you should really try people-watching.” Just don’t people-watch in the bathroom.

On appreciating tulips, the ‘sultans of spring’

Caris Lee Copy Editor

As we settle into the peak of spring, with its clear blue skies and warm let’s-justsit-outside-and-sunbathe weather, what is most striking to me is not the liberty that comes from wearing shorts (though this is duly appreciated) but rather the blooming of the flowers and trees around campus. I’ve come to admire the nature at Vassar—from the fragrance of magnolia trees to the yellow daffodils—despite the dread of upcoming finals and piled-up papers. What is most lovely right now, laying softly in their recently made plant beds, are the tulips surrounding Main. Though it’s easy to glide past them while wrapped up in our own hectic lives, their presence is a comfort and daily reminder to cherish whatever beauty you can, no matter how miniscule, ephemeral or insignificant it may seem.

Tulips grow from bulbs instead of a fibrous root system, meaning they do not rely on seeds to reproduce. Bulbs are the plant’s underground storage system that holds nutrients and energy. During the

winter when the plant is dormant, the tulip stores its energy in the bulb so that in the spring, this energy can be used to develop roots, shoots, leaves and flowers, according to SFGate. By the end of the season, the plant will again store its energy and nutrients in its bulb. The plant can then endure the winter and sustain another growth for the following spring. Bulbs allow the tulip to be highly self-sufficient, not reliant on perfect weather or ideal soil conditions to grow—by nature of the bulb itself, the tulip has the energy it needs to bloom and thrive on its own.

Perhaps it is this independent, self-supporting attitude of the tulip that makes it the perfect flower for spring. In the language of flowers, tulips symbolize rebirth and renewal because they are often the first to bloom in the spring. Charity is also associated with tulips as they mark new beginnings. In 17th-century Holland, in fact, tulips became so popular that Dutch speculators drove the market to crash. Tulipmania, as it is now called, remains as one of the most famous market crashes and bubbles of all time, according to Investopedia. Its delicate beauty and structural strength made the tulip all the more desirable and coveted. And now, we are fortunate enough to see these tulips in their multi-colored fashion around campus.

As winter in Poughkeepsie enlightened all to a new definition of the word “dead,” students around campus appreciated the subtle hints that spring has risen. Katie Wu ’25 warmly expressed her joy towards the flower: “I love the tulips on campus. They’re so pretty and whenever I see them, I know it’s spring time.”

Similarly, Richard Lu ’26 [Disclaimer:

Lu is Assistant Social Media Editor for The Miscellany News] noted the violet, white and orange-red tulips planted by the College Center. “Vassar is known to be a beautiful place, so these flowers add an extra touch to the scenery. It’s nice to see some more color around campus.”

Zoe Giles ’25 also insightfully reflected: “There’s not a whole lot of flowers that you can plant in a garden that will bloom this early in the year, but personally having blooms across campus brings me so much joy and improves mental health. It’s nice that they’re choosing to plant so many flowers that will bloom while students are on campus so that we get to enjoy the full

beauty of things.”

Indeed, tulips are one of the smaller delights on campus we can look forward to now that they are starting to push their way out of their bulbs into full bloom. And while I hope you do not have a Sylvia Plath-esque reaction to them as she so vividly describes in her poem “Tulips,” I do hope that the flower is able to incite some sort of positive spark in you as you rush to classes or zombie-walk back to the dorms.

As Teju Cole illustrates in his PEN/Hemingway Award-winning novel “Open City,” “There were some tulips, Sultans of Spring, I supposed, with large silken petals that were like ears.”

Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany

"Their presence is a comfort and daily reminder to cherish whatever beauty you can, no matter how miniscule, ephemeral or insignificant it may seem."

Preparing for Founder’s Day when your whole body hurts and you can’t focus on anything: Don’t. It’s gonna suck.

A listicle of all of

Madi Donat Listless

Dear readers,

The thing about a listicle is that it is untouchable. And the thing about MY listicles is that they are so good that they may be impossible to rank. That said, I want to do this, and thus, I think I will do it. Therefore, as a solemn farewell to my beloved Humor section and my listicle-writing history, here is a listicle of all of my best listicles, and reasons for why I think they are in the order they are in.

9. Movements of Handel’s "Messiah"

Right out of the gate, and my Madi-heads are confused. “I’ve never read a listicle ranking all 53 movements of George Frideric Handel’s famous Christmas-slash-Easter oratorio "Messiah" from worst to best,” you protest. And that’s true. Because I didn’t publish it. Why didn’t I publish it? Because nobody wants to read a listicle ranking all 53 movements of George Frideric Handel’s famous Christmas-slash-Easter oratorio "Messiah" from worst to best. It’s all the things you don’t want in a listicle: too long, too niche, too much. I got to the point as I was writing about melismatic sequences when I thought, “Hey, you know what? Maybe I shouldn’t do this ever again.” We live and we learn, people. That’s what school is for.

8. Things about Vassar that ~just make sense~

Of my published works, this one is my least favorite because it isn’t truly a listicle. It also falls into the nicheness category a little bit, but I like to believe that I saved it with my classic skill of over-explaining everything. The thing about this is that I wasn’t thinking

listicles. Because why not.

in listicles yet—the dough of my listicle-making brain was still half-baked, as it were. I was listing things in an article, sure, but it didn’t have that distinct flavor that you want from one of these. I’d give myself an A for effort, but a B- for execution.

7. Non-dorm housing

This one was fine. The cons are that it was short and caused a lot of conflict, both within the Misc staff and also among my so-called “friends.” But the thing about my ranking of the non-dorm houses was that it was objectively completely correct and there were no other options that could have been right. Even though I didn’t have much to work with here, I’ll cut myself some slack as a shoutout to my fellow TA-dwellers, who were objectively correct in their housing decision. And it also goes out to those living in Ferry, because I feel bad for you. Clean your kitchen. Get yourself out of there.

6. Academic buildings part 1

I think that the Madi-heads will agree that I really hit my stride with this one, not to brag. I loved talking about the beautiful buildings on this campus, and I also liked putting all of the people in the lesser buildings on the edge of their seats. There is nothing that brings this campus together like our love of porches, windows and little rooms to sit in when we’re tired of sitting in our own little rooms. Cliffhanger listicles are really fun, and I think I’d like to do them more. Makes you think.

5. Academic buildings part 2

Now, this one is where things started getting FUN. I love a little drama in my time, and I obviously love making fun of Blodgett

and the like. I love to be a little hateful and petty in my writing sometimes, and a listicle in the Humor section may well be the best place to do that. I especially loved espousing my fake wisdom when everyone knows that I’ve probably only ever taken classes in three real buildings on this campus, so the rest is entirely based upon conjecture and vibes. Doesn’t mean I’m not right, though.

4. Water Fountains

What is more necessary to us, truly, than water, my Madi-heads? And, on this campus of dubious sustenance, why not create an ode to that, our most basic of needs? I feel like students don’t even know where the best water fountains are on this campus, so cluing people in to that invaluable knowledge is essential to my sworn duty of being a campus elder. I hope this listicle helped you, even with the knowledge that the Skinner water fountains have been replaced by bottle fillers that negate the temperature factor entirely. Sad world we live in.

3. Dorms

There is nothing more classic than fighting over which dorm is better, and there is nothing more calming than knowing that my list is the definitive answer to that argument. It’s been heartwarming to hear alums remark on how Main used to be, and sorrowful to know what a terrible building it’s become. (Maybe this summer will be the summer of the epic Main renovation, though; who knows!) I stand by my words about staging a Main coup if the atrocities continue. Know your rights and fight for them!

2. Carrots

The Madi-heads know this one wasn’t

even a listicle, but its ability to make me spiral and go down an archetypal rabbit hole was important enough to place it this high. I love baby carrots. And I loved writing about them. But more importantly, I loved preaching the power of literature and the hero’s journey through the most beautiful, humble vegetable. I hope that you found the listicle as enjoyable and manic-inducing as I did. The graphs were really the cherry (or carrot) on top. Good listicle. Would write again.

1. Tea

Ah, yes; my Odyssean journey to rank all of the Deece teas (except Wild Sweet Orange). Lots happened on this day—I almost threw up, I thought about suing Tazo, and I believed I uncovered a great conspira-tea, for three— but yet I decided to soldier on. Me and my two loyal tea helpers made our way through a ridiculous catalogue of hot leaf water at our table next to the graveyard in the far corner, and our rainy Sunday was made all the better for it. I laughed, I cried, I experienced emotions unknown to me in all of my years of existence. I drank Passion Tea for the first time, and it made me wince and convulse. I suckled the sweet nectar of Green Ginger. I dove into the brave waters of the Frankentea. There really was no end to my journey this day, and I think The Misc was improved by this epic trek to success. A winning listicle for sure, especially given the time, effort and care put into it. Go, past Madi.

Well, that’s it: the last listicle. The last article. Now I’m off to find a job that will pay me to do something a lot less fun than this. I hope you’ve enjoyed my rankings. Now that I think about it, this listicle may in fact be the best.

Farewell, Madi-heads!

Poetry Corner

Madi’s

Vassar forgets to admit any new students

Oliver Stewart Admittedly a student

With less than a week remaining until the May 1 deadline for high school seniors to commit to a college, The Miscellany News understands that Vassar has, to date, forgotten to admit any students. One admissions officer, speaking on condition of anonymity, described waking up with the feeling that they had forgotten something important but couldn’t quite place what.

“At first I thought it was my keys, but then I realized that I couldn’t have forgotten my keys because I was still in bed. Then I thought I had left my daughter at soccer practice, which I had, but even after I went and rescued her, I still felt like something

was missing. That was when it hit me.”

Several weeks earlier, the admissions officers had gathered to discuss applications as usual, but were quickly sidetracked by a YouTube video of an army of toads singing the Flintstones theme song and subsequent recommendations of capybaras riding various animals and driving forklifts. The anonymous source shared excerpts from the admissions group chat:

“hey all! what do we think of the applications this year :D,” one said.

“Check this out: https://www.youtube. com/watch?v=NJqlG6f3c9Q,” another responded.

“lol,” said a third.

“lmao,” a fourth added. “XD”

All thoughts of reviewing applications

were quickly forgotten, leaving applicants in limbo awaiting word via email or the online portal.

“The only thing on the Vassar portal was some video of a rodent riding a turtle,” one high schooler said. “I’m not sure what they meant by that, but I doubt it means I got in.”

Others added that the confusion had turned them off of the College altogether. “A lot of things drew me to Vassar, like that thing about the really long tree branch that used to have a world record and how they have all those pianos,” another added. “But after this, there’s no way I’d consider going there, even if they accepted me.”

Although Vassar immediately began sending out acceptance letters after realiz-

ing the error, at this late stage, enrollment for the Class of 2027 is unlikely to top 200, forcing the College to reconsider its plans to expand and renovate the campus. One of the plans being reversed is the transfer of multidisciplinary programs to Baldwin House, Health Services to the Athletics and Fitness Center (AFC) and the expansion of the AFC to include eight new tennis courts.

The announcement of this reversal sparked mixed reactions from students.

“I can’t believe I played the Baldwin gig for nothing,” one lamented.

“Well, it’s a shame about the admitted students,” another said, “but at least Ballaintine Field has been blasted to hell where it belongs.”

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

How to say goodbye to Vassar College

Life is all about transitions. Once you were a tiny, useless baby; now you’re a big, useless adult. Once you believed in unicorns and Santa; now you believe that your crush will text you back. Once you thought that the secondary education system was mainly a means of distributing sports merchandise; now you wish that that weren’t true. We have to deal with these changes all the time.And our time at Vassar, too, is full of major shifts. College is like a world in miniature, a world in which each human being lives only four years and then vanishes forever. By graduation, we see new friends become old ones, old friends become new loves, new loves become old flames, and old flames become student workers at the library who we have to see every time we go there to Vassar changes us, changes us like a Starbucks barista writing down your name, do homework. We get older, taller, hairier and, because this is Vassar, a lot gayer. We

skip class, take substances and learn the hard way that “chlamydia” isn’t a character in “The Iliad.” Vassar changes us, changes us like a Starbucks barista writing down your name, and it’s safe to say that no one here can imagine what our lives would be like if we’d done anything different.

At the end of our four years of college, though, we have to move on. Hell, I have to move on next month, which is why I’m writing this affected little column full of hand-waving platitudes. Discussions about the future after Vassar are filled with snark about the “real world,” an incredibly unforgiving place where this campus’ weirdness will never be tolerated and where there are no Safety & Security cars to run you over in case you need to pay off student loans. In this realm of monsters, we imagine, there will be no more cross-faded TH hookups, no more homoerotic men’s rugby games, no more safe spaces where we can discuss intersectional Foucaultian anthropology and the best strains of weed in the same conver-

sation. It will, we imagine, suck major ass —and not in a good way, either.

In fact, however, there is no “real world.” Vassar’s weirdness is its own, to be sure, but beyond the borders of this campus, well outside the Vassar bubble, lies an endless variety of other oddities. As we speak, human beings all over the world are going to gay board game nights and lawn mower races, sometimes both at the same time. They’re tasting hard kombucha and experimenting with new and bizarre party drugs. And if there’s something you like that’s hard to find at Vassar—rock climbing, for example, or good beer, or healthy, stable romantic relationships—well, the rest of the planet is going to be full to brimming with it. After graduation, it certainly gets harder to find your place, but the possibilities the universe can offer are literally infinite.

Because of that, though I’ll miss Vassar, I’m not sad to be graduating. Yes, I’ll miss bitching about the food at the Deece. Yes, I’ll miss negotiating the complicated moral

philosophy of trying to hook up with somebody in a polyamorous relationship. Yes, I’ll miss debating who would win in a fight, me or the Sunset Lake geese—and then thinking about how long it would take for my body to be found after the geese stomped the life out of me. I came here a loser, and I left a world traveler. I came here a scared little child, and I left a slightly less scared adult. I came here a boy, and I left a girl. Yes, there’s a lot to leave behind.

But the world awaits—not some cruel “real world” full of horrors, but rather a place just as varied, unpredictable and utterly bizarre as our college itself. Our campus boasts one kind of weirdness, but after leaving it, I’ll get to experience every other. No, it won’t always be an easy journey, but neither was Vassar. For me—and for all the rest of the Senior Class—Mr. Bones’ wild ride is just beginning.

I promise you this, though: If I come back here and you nerds are calling it the “Gordon Commons,” we are gonna have a PROBLEM.

Alyssa Willeford Farewell Folks

ARIES

March 21 |

April 19

HOROSCOPES

Nandini Likki Astronomical Astrologer

The most Aries thing that I can tell you about my dad is that he once randomly flew to Jamaica with a friend because he wanted to see the beach, and then he wouldn’t stop sending me messages in Spanish, although he does not know how to speak it. I took Spanish in high school. I still had no idea what he was saying. Love you, Dad.

TAURUS

April 20 |

May 20

Taurus sure sounds like “tour us,” which is coincidentally the number one thing that no Vassar student would ever say. Once, I was walking down the staircase from the third floor of the Deece into the vestibule. I opened the door on the first floor and absolutely plowed into some poor mom on a tour. I gushed a bunch of “Sorry!!!”s in rapid succession, but the shame won’t go away. I can’t backwards-walk my way out of this one, folks.

GEMINI

May 21 |

June 20

For some reason, I’m really good at attracting Gemini energy into my life. Not only are three of my best friends Geminis, but my other Capricorn best friend also has a Gemini Saturn. Did I do natal charts for all of my friends? NO. I just happen to know these things, okay?

CANCER

June 21 |

July 22

Do you wave at people when you see them around campus? Aristotle categorized friendships into three categories: useful, pleasure, and perfect and complete. I’m always scared to wave at my useful friends because there’s a 50 percent chance that they don’t see me, and the rejection always stings more than it should. This doesn’t really have anything to do with Cancers, but I know you guys get rejected a lot, so maybe you know how it feels.

LEO

July 23 |

Aug. 22

My sister and I watched “The Aviator” over spring break, and I think more people should be talking about Leonardo DiCaprio’s performance in it. I only knew about Howard Hughes from a Father John Misty lyric, but after watching “The Aviator,” I know way more about him than I ever really needed to know. You know? The way of the future. The way of the future.

The most Virgo thing I can tell you about my mom is that she’s filled our entire house with plants, top to bottom. I wake up, and there’s aloe vera hitting me in the face. I step out of bed, and there are money plant vines all over the floor. She also names them. This makes it extra weird when we eat food she makes with curry leaves that come from “Subramaniam.” Love you, Mom.

LIBRA

Sept. 23 |

Oct. 22

I’m a Libra, and I’m the best person I know. Do you this week, queen. Work it. Yass. Slayage was served. Cunt to the extreme.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 |

Nov. 21

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22 |

Dec. 21

My sister’s a Scorpio, but if I’m being honest? Scorpios. Freak. Me. OUT. It’s something about their eyes. It’s like when Christian Bale used Tom Cruise as inspiration for his character in “American Psycho” because Cruise had nothing behind his eyes. And guess what sign Tom Cruise is? That’s right, he’s a CANCER—wait.

Oh God, there are so many of these that I have to write. I’m running out of witty and relatable quips about love and life. I’m not Dorothy Parker. Although I do actually really love the name Dorothy. So much nickname potential. Dot. Thea. Dolly. Dora. Pomodoro. From now on, please just call me Pomodoro.

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 |

Jan. 19

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20 |

Feb. 18

When I was little and my parents would take me to parties, sometimes they would serve fried baby corn as an appetizer. But the idea of baby corn is so stupid. Why not serve the mother or father corn? Why must you separate this poor child from its loving family? It would always taste really great, though. Mmmm. Fried baby corn.

Isn’t it so weird that Aquariuses (Aquariusi?) are air signs instead of water signs? I mean, who came up with this bullshit? The Babylonians?! My favorite song on “Just Dance” is “Aquarius” by The 5th Dimension (you might also know it from the musical “Hair”). Is it becoming apparent that I wrote these in a feverish frenzy?

PISCES

Feb. 19 |

March 20

In high school, our teachers arranged for this marine biologist to do a lecture for our whole school and talk about a book she had recently published, although it suddenly became very apparent that she had a special kind of relationship with one octopus in particular. I’m glad I’m not in high school anymore.

Vassar Brewers brew a union at The Brew

Last Saturday evening, triumphant shouting could be heard from a group of 15 excited students sitting in the Old Bookstore near The Brew. After further inquiry, it was revealed these students were creating a union at Vassar and celebrating after the Brewers won their Union College baseball game. We sat down with one of the senior union members who told us about the events of the evening.

“Amy Bodescu ’23 pitched over 15 ideas for union budgeting in five minutes—it was insane! Her proposals completely came out of left field. After she pitched them, we struck out most of our other plans.”

Two minutes later, a sophomore stepped up to the plate, fielding questions about union leadership logistics. His plans quickly came to a short stop, however, after it started raining and he had to run home.

That evening, as the union meeting was wrapping up near the Brew, the Brewers won their game at Union.

“If Vassar can win at Union, then why

couldn’t our union win at Vassar?” one astute student pondered.

After agreeing with the student that that’s totally how logic works, the union set out to make its group as baseball-like as possible, collecting bats from the Raymond attic, stealing bases (but not acids) from the chemistry department and getting a perfect pitch from the Music Department.

With regard to the baseball game, several union members expressed their concern that Vassar defeating Union is an ominous hint of Vassar’s future relationship with their union. But Smith noted a secret clause in Vassar’s founding documents: “With proper proceedings in place, it must be ensured that unions, like the baseball team’s bases, are loaded.” Smith announced this irrefutable evidence of the union’s claim to fortune last Thursday to celebratory cheers from the group.

After a week of preparation, the union has announced that it is ready to pitch ideas, avoid strikes and make sure that nothing goes afoul.

We can only hope that the union's work is a grand slam.

Popular fall classes gain additional, slightly inferior sections

Nicholas Tillinghast The Last Regsitraw

Another semester, another hectic period of pre-registration. Students looking to get into highly requested classes will be happy to know that new sections have opened with some intriguing adjustments.

The Film Department sent out an email earlier this week about a new section of its most popular listing: “We noticed that World Cinema was turning heads for the fall semester, netting over 70 requests with only 25 spots available, so we're planning on teaching another section with a slightly different twist to the title, ‘World Cinema: North Dakota.’” The course catalog reads, “Step into the world of North Dakota, as featured in such films as ‘Fargo’ (1996). For this additional section, we’re narrowing our scope to just one United State, as tackling the entire world twice this fall would seem awfully bold of us (one time is bold enough). From Bismarck to Grand Forks, we’re hoping to examine great North Dakotan filmmaking and filmic portrayals to

their full potential. ‘Fargo’ (1996) is an excellent testament to the state’s rich film history. We are sure that other great testaments also exist.”

Meanwhile, the creative writing professors in the English Department decided to add a new intro section titled “Introductory Creative Writing: Pharmaceutical Commercials.” The course description provides some clarifying info: “This is NOT a copywriting class. This is a creative writing class focusing on the process of writing persuasive marketing and promotional materials that motivate people to take some form of action, such as make a purchase, click on a link, donate to a cause or schedule a consultation. You will learn how to creatively and vividly describe the benefits of a given drug and also how to blaze through the laundry list of life-threatening side effects. By the end of this class, you will write, direct and star in your very own pharmaceutical commercial! Now I know a lot of you might have been hoping to just take the regular intro class, but this class will help

you stand out when applying for ‘Intermediate Creative Writing: Obituaries.’”

Over in the Political Science Department, “Politics as Games” netted over double the requests for only 25 spots, sparking a new section called “Politics as Vague Similes.” The course description reads, “In this class we are going to examine the accuracy of various comparisons to the world of politics such as ‘politics as glue,’ or ‘politics is like buying a new car.’ By the end of the class, students will be capable of writing their own vague similes to shake up the PoliSci world.”

The Anthropology Department, in an attempt to quench the thirst for animal-specific classes, brought a bonus section of the much celebrated “Primates,” titled, “Primates and Also Anteaters.” The description reads, “The first 12 weeks of the class will cover the four extant species commonly known under the umbrella term ‘anteaters.’ During this time, we are going to uncover the important links of anteaters to human evolution. We will also take a field trip to the Bronx Zoo where

we will observe the Giant Anteaters for four hours. Hopefully something cool happens. In our final week, (as long as we don’t get behind lol) we’ll have a week for monkey talk. To be clear, the class is at minimum, 95 percent anteater stuff.”

I talked to some students who had mixed feelings about the new listings. One shared, “While I wanted to take World Cinema, World Cinema North Dakota actually sounds a lot more interesting. I’m excited to sink my teeth into ‘Fargo’ (1984) and also hopefully other North Dakotan films.”

I talked to another student who was excited about the new political science class, who said, “I’ve always thought politics are a lot like putting on a pair of socks, and I want the world to start quoting that.” Finally, I talked to one student who was disappointed by the new “Primates” section. “I love all of the Earth’s primates, but I despise every single anteater.”

Whether you’re hoping to dig into North Dakota cinema or creatively hook people on Mucinex, Vassar has got you covered.

Benjamin Savel Let's brew ball

Nicholas Tillinghast/ The Miscellany News.

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

Pain is routine in gynecological treatement

Istartedtaking the pill at 16. My acne was all over the place, and I needed the hormone regulation. A year later, I stopped taking it. A year after that, I was prescribed NuvaRing. I was getting 17 periods a year, as opposed to the normal 12, and needed the pain to stop. Three and a half years later, my body had become immune to the hormonal regulation, and I needed to switch again. So, just shy of my 22nd birthday, I got an IUD. To be specific, the Mirena, a 32-mm piece of God knows what, full of progesterone.

In my many years of gynecological interaction and discussion of all the different forms of birth control with friends, I had come to the conclusion that the IUD was the best of the birth control options. It did not require ingesting a pill everyday, nor did it need to be changed every few weeks like the ring I had become so accustomed to. Most attractively, the hormonal IUD is known for slowly ending your period.

While I might be a woman with a uterus who hopes to have children one day, I really do not like that time of the month. In fact, I find it harder than the average person. I have irritable bowel syndrome. At Vassar, IBS is ubiquitous—thank you, Deece. I, however, have been blessed with digestive struggles since I started taking the pill all those years ago. My pediatrician had warned me of some side effects, as they do with all medications: weight gain, mood swings, irritability. Essentially, just being a teenage girl. Birth control is for much more than just pregnancy prevention. That is why hormonal options exist: to regulate our naturally produced hormones that cause us far more pain and frustration than a normal bodily function should. According to the CDC, about 65 percent of all people with uteri between the ages of 15 and 49 use some form of birth control. If I did my math correctly, that is about 47 million people in the United States alone. So, why is discomfort normalized?

The field of gynecology, with its origins

in racism and misogyny, has grown immensely over the decades. People even use the word “love” to describe their gynecologists, myself included. That is why I trusted her so fully when she suggested the Mirena.

I was told to take a hefty serving of ibuprofen before the procedure. It is uncomfortable, as most gynecological visits are. The pain is immediate and violent, like a constant punch in the gut that knocks all of the wind out of you. Similar cramps are expected to continue for a few days post insertion, as the uterus gets used to its new friend. Fair enough. Continue to take ibuprofen over the next few days and do not stray too far from the heating pad. One day, the pain will go away.

I almost skipped class a few weeks ago, about a full month post-insertion. I woke up with so much cramping I could barely stay standing. Walking to the bathroom five feet away felt like 10-mile hike. I had to pause halfway through putting my pants on just to lie down and breathe for a moment.

Something was not right. I grabbed my

phone and typed “iud pain extreme” into Google. I know that the internet is not the place to go for medical advice, but let’s be honest—we all do it anyway. I scrolled down to the Mayo Clinic’s page on the matter hoping to find some mental relief, but what I found was far from a relief. The only advice was to keep taking ibuprofen because discomfort is normal for 6 months post-insertion.

What world are we living in where the cure for something is more painful than the problem itself? I am sure this is true in other fields of medicine, not only gynecology. But it begs the question: Why would we allow this to be normal?

Yet we continue on, we endure the pain.

I am enduring the pain because one day I hope this T-shaped thing inside of me does what it is supposed to do; relieve my aching and send it away for the next few years.

I will be 30 when I get it out. Until then, I wait to see if it's worth it. In full disclosure, I do not really know what “worth it” means. Maybe one day I’ll find out.

Fast fashion contributes to climate change

It is no secret that we are currently in the middle of a climate crisis, one that scientists say will become irreversible if we do not slash greenhouse gas emissions in half by 2030, according to The New York Times. Global temperatures have been rising and will continue to do so if we do not act fast. While some causes of global warming are extremely obvious, such as fossil fuel emissions from transportation, deforestation and power generation, some of the more ignored contributors to climate change include manufacturing and consumption of goods, specifically textiles, according to the United Nations.

Per BBC, the fashion industry accounts for about eight to 10 percent of global carbon emissions and 20 percent of wastewater production, a byproduct of dyeing processes in garment manufacturing. The fashion industry is known to consume more energy than aviation and shipping do, according to the United Nations. Clearly, some change needs to be made in the fashion industry if we are to reach our global goals regarding halting global warming. This begs the question of how we, as consumers, can contribute to this effort.

One significant problem in any effort to tackle climate change is the distinction between personal and large-scale actions. Many people look at the grand scale of global warming and find it hard to believe that their personal actions could have any significant impact on reducing climate change. It is well known that the vast majority of global warming is caused by large corporations, with just 100 corporations responsible for 71 percent of carbon emissions, according to The Guardian. With numbers like this, the effectiveness of personal actions seems dubious.

Another problem is the seeming necessity of many of the biggest contributors to climate change. In a country as spread out and public transport-averse as the United States, it is nearly impossible to travel around without a car, which contributes to carbon emissions. Although one car may not create a noticeable effect on carbon emissions, this is a country of 330 million people. We also need power and electricity, and many of us have very little ability to contend with deforestation. But one of the

areas in which individual choices may have a noticeable effect on carbon emissions is in consumption, specifically of clothing.

I am not contesting the fact that we need clothes. Clothes are undoubtedly an integral part of human life, and fashion can be a beautiful, expressive art form. The clothes that people wear are often an expression of their own personalities and artistic flair. But do we really need so many clothes? According to a 2016 survey by ClosetMaid, the average American woman has 103 pieces of clothing in her wardrobe. On the other hand, researchers have found that around 74 pieces of clothing are sufficient, per Vogue.

A definition of a “sufficient” amount of clothing seems a little bit hard to pin down, as clothing and fashion styles can be very different, but it is still undeniable that we are consuming clothing at a rate much higher than ever before. According to The Wall Street Journal, we are consuming five times more clothing than we did in 1980. Correspondingly, the amount of harmful waste generated in the production of increased amounts of clothing is also increasing.

One important event has contributed to the rise in garment waste since the 1990s: the rise of fast fashion. Fast fashion, according to Ecowatch, is mass-produced clothing which is made quickly, made cheaply and attempts to follow the latest fashion trends, which change faster and faster, thanks to social media. Fast fashion has made clothing more accessible and affordable, but at the cost of quality and workers’ rights. It is no secret that many fast fashion brands use exploitative methods of labor, such as sweatshops in some Asian countries where workers are paid inhumane wages, often working in unsafe conditions, according to Forbes. This tradeoff between affordability and quality also means that clothes last for a lot less time than they did when the majority of clothes were made in the United States. This means that consumers are forced to throw out clothing a lot faster than before the rise of fast fashion, and must subsequently buy more pieces, which generates even more waste. According to The Washington Post, the average piece of clothing will only be worn seven times before being thrown out. In fact, according to the

Environmental Protection Agency, textile waste has increased 811 percent since 1960, and much of it is not recyclable, meaning that it ends up in landfills, which contribute to pollution.

The effects that fast fashion is having on the climate are horrifying. The more pieces of clothing that are produced, the more textile waste, and the more workers that are exploited. The faster clothing is made, the faster we buy it.

One particularly heinous example is Shein. According to Time Magazine, Shein is well known for its accessibility, affordability and adherence to internet trends. The company quickly produces cheap, trendy clothing. But the true cost of this model is the well-being of our planet. In 2021, Shein produced 6.3 million tons of carbon dioxide, the same as 180 coal-fired power plants. The clothes are well-documented to be of poor quality, hardly lasting a long time, and the conditions under which many of Shein’s factory workers have been documented to work are unconscionable, according to Medium. All of this is contributing to climate change, and the realization that the Earth may soon become unlivable is only confirmed by the prevalence and popularity of retailers like Shein. This kind of overconsumption, and the consequent pollution and carbon emissions, must be put to a stop if there is any hope to reverse the negative effects of climate change.

This begs the question of what to do without fast fashion. For all of its ills, fast fashion has made art through personal style much more accessible for people to whom it was not previously available. Designer brands and styles are wholly unaffordable for the average person, and fast fashion may make artistic expression through clothing much more possible. To this I say that the key is not to completely eliminate consumption of textiles and clothing—that is impossible in the world we live in today. The key is instead to be more mindful about our clothing choices. We must ask ourselves why we need 20 new pieces of clothing every year. Is it possible to dig through your wardrobe and find something appropriate for the occasion that you may have forgotten about? Can you find an alternative to a brand new item of clothing at a thrift store? We can’t completely reduce consumption, but we can lessen it. This requires us to be more mindful about where we are buying from, what we are buying and how often we are buying. It is all too easy to punch in the numbers of your credit card online and have a new item of clothing at your doorstep in two days. It takes more work to think about how to sustainably shop for clothing. But the price we may one day pay for our current way of viewing and consuming fashion and clothing is the safety and well-being of our planet, and that is a price we should all be unwilling to pay.

Image courtesy of Stefan Müller via Wikimedia Commons.

Sufana Noorwez Opinions Editor

OPINIONS

The future is bright for this year's graduates

Britt Andrade Columnist

Thisyear as an Opinions writer, I have stayed firmly on the path of righteous anger and political debate. I have done this largely because it interests me, allows me to practice my writing and is a cathartic way to talk about the scary, frustrating ills of the world. Today, I want to go in a different direction. This is the last standard issue of The Miscellany News for the 2023 graduating class. It is an opportunity to applaud them and the hard work they have put in over the last four years. I know that the graduating class is going to get a great speech at Commencement. I know that they are all going to be inundated with stories and advice and love from their friends and families in the coming weeks. I also know that there is fear and apprehension filling more than a few minds as they prepare to leave the relatively safe testing grounds of Vassar. Take it from a non-traditional student—the nerves in

the face of new experiences never really go away. But those butterflies are good, because they represent new choices, new paths that you will get to walk down and new lives you might live.

I’d like to offer some advice to this year's class because I received some great advice when I left the military for Vassar: Life never follows the plan. Whatever plan you have worked out for the next five, 10 or 15 years? It's going to change, and that is a good thing. Some of you will go off to graduate school and realize that you hate the work. You’ll tell yourself that you have to suck it up, that you spent too much time, too much energy and too much money on this education to walk away from it now. For some of you, that will be true. You’ll have to find ways to make a career more enjoyable, even though you hate it, at least in the beginning. But work changes. You may hate an entry-level position but realize you love the management level or the teaching level. You might go into

corporate law and find your passion later in your first pro-bono case. It may be the opposite. Be flexible, because it might let you find whatever you’re really looking for. If that flexibility means leaving a career field, let it. Human beings are living way longer lives, and it is becoming more and more normal to have multiple career changes. I planned on spending 20 years in the military, and now I’m at a four-year college with plans for another three years of education after that. That being said, remember to set boundaries in your life. You’ve spent most of your lives focused on giving your time and energy to other people. Through jobs, grades and family, you’ve placed a lot on your plates knowing that it will get you to the places you want to go. Don’t overdo it trying to get somewhere. It will be of no use to you to become a doctor if you have a nervous breakdown, two weeks into residency. Sometimes we have to let things go because holding onto them is causing more harm than good.

That can be classes or ideals. It can also be people. Keep the people you love close, but not so close that they strangle you. It can hurt to walk away, to outgrow people you love, but it will happen. This will never get easier, but you will have to manage it and how it makes you feel. Moving on when it's time will allow you to remember people with fondness and love instead of anger or resentment. I speak from experience—you can’t save everyone, and you can’t let them pull you down either.

Your futures are bright. By the time you got to this point, hundreds of people have believed in you at one point or another. On those days when you can’t believe in yourself, believe in them. Statistically, we can’t all be wrong. I know that you’ll all hear this repeatedly over the next month, but I’m proud of you. You are already great, and your greatness will continue to be unique to your path. Good luck to you all, and I hope you enjoy the journey.

Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News.

NBA playoffs are rich with theatrics, entertainment

Nick Villamil Assistant Sports Editor

Atalmost two weeks in, the NBA playoffs have been abundantly entertaining. And though the play has been high-level, the drama of fierce competition and player rivalries is what has garnered much of the spotlight. So once again, continuing with the theme started by last week’s column, we are going to put the X’s and O’s to the side and focus on pure entertainment.

By the time this column runs on Thursday, either the reigning champion Golden State Warriors or the Sacramento Kings will lead the first-round series between the two northern California rivals—the two teams are only a two-hour drive from each other, but the gap in success over the past two decades could not be larger. Four games in, the series is tied 2-2—both teams successfully defended their home courts. From this perspective, the series has gone as expected and might even seem to be lacking in intrigue. However, this could not be further from the truth as the series has arguably been this year’s playoffs’ most entertaining matchup. The Kings earned their first playoff berth in 17 years—finishing third in the Western Conference—and a date with the 21st century's greatest basketball power, who fell to the conference’s sixth seed as it dealt with injuries to its star players and struggled to win games on the road. Sacramento quickly showed itself

capable of winning the series as it handled the Warriors’ best punches in the first two games and managed to strike back stronger. But, we won’t be focused on the Warriors’ punches through prolific offense. Instead, let’s talk about the stomp.

In the fourth quarter of Game 2, Kings star Domantas Sabonis went to the ground after pursuing an offensive rebound. Laying in the paint, Sabonis wrapped his arm around Draymond Green’s leg. It's difficult to tell why or how Sabonis ended up with his arm around Green’s leg. But, if you watch Sabonis fall to the ground, it seems fair to say that there was at least a basic level of unintentionality in what he did with his arms as he fell on his back. Green, easily irritated as always, objected to Sabonis wrapping his arm around him and responded with a stomp on Sabonis’ chest as he freed himself from the Kings’ center’s grasp. I don’t know how powerful the stomp was, but it is clear that Green could have avoided stepping on Sabonis while disentangling himself. Even if he couldn’t have avoided stepping on Sabonis, it is also clear that he could have taken a much lighter, softer step. As Sabonis laid on the ground in agony—we also don’t know how much of this was exaggerated—the play was stopped. After a video review of the incident, Sabonis was given a technical foul, and Green was ejected from the game. Unapologetic as ever, Green didn’t exit the court before sharing a piece of his mind with heckling Kings fans. The next day, the

league announced in a press release it had suspended Green from playing in Game 3. Two days later, one of the league’s top MVP candidates, Joel Embiid of the Philadelphia 76ers, had a similar leg-centered scuffle with Nic Claxton of the Brooklyn Nets during Game 3 of their first round series. After finishing an emphatic alley-oop dunk over Embiid, Claxton took a second to stand over the 76ers star. Embiid responded to Claxton’s taunt by flailing his legs, kicking Claxton in the groin. Embiid found himself in a situation very similar to Draymond Green’s—an opponent looking to provoke an emotional response from an easily incitable star. Embiid’s reaction was arguably worse than Green’s: He had no reason to be flailing his legs. Yet, Embiid was neither ejected from the game nor was he suspended from Game 4. Such a verdict from the NBA was unjust, one that likely made the difference between Brooklyn managing to win at least one game and avoiding a sweep. Embiid’s kick came in the first quarter and despite him playing the entire game, the Nets only lost by five points in what was certainly their best chance to take a game from the 76ers. Ironically, Embiid still missed Game 4 but due to injury, not suspension. The NBA seemed to set a clear and fair precedent with how it handled Green’s incident with Sabonis. Yet somehow the NBA managed to stray from it only two days later when facing a more egregious and more impactful offense—losing Embiid

is a much greater loss for the 76ers than the loss of Green for the Warriors.

And on Saturday night, proud instigator Dillon Brooks of the Memphis Grizzlies, humiliated himself after taunting LeBron James in interviews. As the saying goes: If you come at the king, you best not miss. And well, Brooks missed—a lot. Recklessly confident, he took 13 shots and made only three as he played a major part in digging the 35-9 hole the Grizzlies found themselves in after the first quarter against James’ Los Angeles Lakers. The game didn’t get much better for Memphis after that, and in the first moments of the second half, Brooks found himself defending James as he dribbled upcourt. That’s when instead of going for a steal, Brooks hit James in the groin. Again, there is technically a case to be made that Brooks was only trying to play defense and was not trying to hit James. However, Brooks was not fooling anybody, not even the referees who reviewed the play and then ejected him from the game. Brooks, like Embiid, managed to avoid further suspension. This is not to equate the two incidents, though, as Embiid’s is clearly the more egregious.

The NBA continues to entertain beyond just basketball, and I am here for the rivalry and drama, as long as the league rules fairly. If you find yourself wanting to experience the chaos yourself, the playoffs run until mid-June. They usually deliver, one way or another.

Looking back on the 'Wii Sports' franchise

Madi Donat Humor Editor

Iwill be the first to admit that there are two categories of people I, in no world, fall into: gamers and athletes. Still, from the ages of nine to 11, there was one franchise that took over my mind, body and soul: Nintendo’s “Wii Sports.” There was something so immediately accessible about it, even to someone like me who had absolutely zero gaming experience—and a little less than zero sports experience, at that. Looking back on it, I truly think that the genius of “Wii Sports” and “Wii Sports Resort” was in how they framed these games—and the concept of gaming in general.

To be fair, the experience “Wii Sports” games afford isn’t exactly sports in the traditional sense, and Nintendo wasn’t trying to make it that way. The “Wii Sports” franchise emphasized a new concept of gaming with revolutionary motion-sensing technology, which was just beginning to reach commercial use at the time. Everything about the game promoted realism except the actual game: You could feel the haptics and sounds of hitting a ball with your Wii remote tennis racket, for instance. You could pump your arms up and down as though they were your legs pedaling a bike in the cycling course of “Wii Sports Resort.” You could even position your screen such that you got a perfect strike in bowling every time, which was great for me as the worst bowler in the world. That’s the thing about these games—there were so many of them! Being able to have a multi-varied experience and better acquaint myself with the rules of actual sports was a great tool for me as a child.

What remains with me largely of the “Wii Sports” franchise remains because of nostalgia. But there are aspects of the games which I truly think revolutionized gaming.

The Wii console was one of the first ever marketed towards families instead of solely young people, and this emphasis on family playing made collaboration a key part of the Wii universe. I fondly remember battling my brother in games like sword fight and baseball. What was also new about this game was the clear emphasis on making it accessible for those, like me, with no prior gaming knowledge. Nine-year-old me (and my 40-year-old mother) didn’t know anything about Mario, but I understood tennis! And playing Wii made both of those skills better.

There were other benefits to the game that I didn’t much care about as a child, but many an article has been written about the golf portions of the “Wii Sports” franchise. As soon as the game came out, journalists began understanding the real-world implications of a sport like golf, which is ordinarily very time-consuming to play and takes up a ton of resources. Perhaps more than any other sport offered on the console, golf was much more like a simulator than a game. Those who played it were able to improve their skills at the real game without having to spend time on the green, according to Mental Floss.

Wii Golf also had other benefits, most notably its use in physical therapy, as reported by The New York Times. The console’s focus on balance and movement, as well as its motion-controlled sensors being attuned to fine and gross motor skills, proved greatly beneficial for those recovering from strokes or who were dealing with other mobility issues. It can also be mentally important for those in recovery to test if they are still able to play the games they love by assessing metrics like control and vision. While not necessarily a sport, it does require an individual to be active, with the weight-shifting of real golf a part of the

in-game experience.

Some reviewers have stated outright that the Wii version of golf, one of multiple games available in each game, was better than other games dedicated to simulating the sport, according to Wired. The minute and individual details of playing golf on the Wii—including wind-speed calculations, the changing of stance and the angle of the club—are as close to a real-world experience as one could get without actually playing it.

As someone with perhaps a less-thanrosy memory of sports as a child, the concept of a game where I could learn about these essential facets of our culture from the safety of my own home and with the people I loved meant more to me than I think I realized. Sports on the Wii are certainly not a

one-to-one recreation of sports in real life, but they succeeded immensely in all of the areas they were supposed to: They emphasized collaboration, were accessible to those who had little experience in playing video games and improved the skills of real-world players in their motion-controlled simulations. Though it may be a franchise now far-removed from the cultural consciousness, it is important to remind ourselves of the novelty and importance these games held in the trajectory of video game culture, as well as the information they provided for those looking to port over virtual skills to real life. “Wii Sports” and “Wii Sports Resort” were truly life-changing games for me, and I will never forget the important place they held in my childhood.

Image courtesy of Chris Ainsworth via Flickr.

ACROSS

The Miscellany Crossword

“Farewell, Thou (Misc Crossword Lover) Art Too Dear”

By Sadie Keesbury

65. Roofer, or bathroom DIYer

66. Kanye, North, Chigao, Saint and Psalm

67. “Pls forgive”

68. Aliens, for short

DOWN

1. Swear towards

2. Visual language

3. Most common word in the English language

4. Early Tenochtitlan citizen

5. Study of life

6. Once in a while

7. Mr. Claus

8. Vassar grp. that presented “Rocky Horror Picture Show” last month

9. Artist Durer

10. Precipitate

11. Many grads of 59D, for short

12. Tortilla chip dip

13. Note two octaves above the middle

21. German auto brand

24. Lower back pain

25. _____ Land (2017 Best Picture winner.... NOT!) 26. Kind

Keeps

When repeated, a giggle 32. The primary written record of our lang.

36. Disease for which the Ice Bucket Challenge was dedicated to finding a cure 37. Uncooked

63. “The _____ near!!” (Doomsday prepper’s slogan) 64. Small batteries

Answers

to last week’s puzzles:

By Sadie Keesbury

Misc Mini #1

Misc Mini #3

Misc Mini #2