Misc.09.14.23

The Miscellany News

Dining workers express concerns over new changes

Jyotsna Naidu News Editor

In January 2023, Vassar College’s dining service, Bon Appétit Management Company, received an engineer’s report detailing kitchen safety concerns, according to one dining worker who asked to remain anonymous. While staff had submitted reports of the Retreat kitchen’s unsafe ventilation system for two years, operations continued throughout. Over the summer, another report detailed a missing firewall that made the kitchen unsafe for cooking. According to worker testimonials, the kitchen repairs are yet to begin, reflecting a pattern of cost-cutting.

“I’m not surprised that the kitchen went under, we were overworking it,” a second anonymous longtime dining worker said. They added that the Retreat was built for a capacity of 400 but averaged 1200 customers a day. The overuse of the fryer to meet excess demand led to heat buildup and parts of the fryer melting, the first worker said.

Originally, workers were notified that kitchen repairs would occur over the summer. But as the new school year kicked off, the kitchen was still not repaired and no hot food could be cooked. The Retreat is now closed on weekends, and weekday hours have been moved from 6 p.m. to 4 p.m. Only during a “welcome back” meeting on Aug. 17, were workers notified of schedule and assignment changes. Workers were not able

to set their own schedules, leading to at least one part-time employee leaving, according to the second worker.

“We didn’t know the full scope of the project until a week prior to our communication to students, at which time it was communicated to dining employees,” Associate Dean of the College Dennis Macheska explained in a written correspondence to The Miscellany News. “A labor plan then needed to be developed between the dining union and the

On my first weeks at Vassar

Hannah Ford Guest Reporter

From the sweltering summer morning I dragged my whole life into that tiny dorm room until today, two weeks later, I have experienced the best and worst days of my life. My newfound freedom has become a blessing and a curse. I get to do nothing all day without worrying about my parents coming up over my shoulder to complain. I spend my weekends alone in the library, unsure of how to spend my time. I walk into the Deece, find a quiet corner, and once again put my headphones on to eat alone. I go from class to class, smiling and giggling when my professor lets me look at a rare moth. I sit on a bench and sob while it pours, unsure of what I am doing and why I am here. I sit with my student fellow group and watch “Jennifer’s Body.” I curl up under the covers of my far-too-tall bed and cry while ignoring the stranger on the other side of my room. I have no friends and far too many textbooks. I drink more coffee than is safe and ignore the pit in my chest when I think about how lonely I am. I sweat through my clothes and then shiver in the library.

There is no way to boil down my firstyear experience into a concise explanation. In the three weeks since I first arrived, I have snuck onto roofs and melted on the

third floor of Rocky. I have no idea what I am doing, but why does that matter? I have met hundreds of people, their names becoming alphabet soup in my brain. I eat at the weirdest hours and cannot bring myself to care. Is this adulthood? I spend far too much time in dark corners of the library; my classes quickly consume my life. I dip my toes into the world of college parties and once again find myself disappointed. I have spent the past four years frantically waiting for the moment I could leave high school behind and go to college. I am finally here, yet it feels like nothing has changed. I still spend my days alone; I cry far too often; I find myself wanting something more.

How is it that this is my next four years? Late nights spent listening to music and watching the rain fall. I drag myself out of bed on quiet Sunday mornings and prepare for another college week. I walk from one side of campus to the other; the feeling of being lost never goes away, not even when I stand in the room I have started to call home. Not much has changed in these three long weeks, yet I am a completely different person. I go days without talking to my parents, or really anyone at all. I am overwhelmed by my mile-long to-do list, yet bored. I love my classes, but I also want to curl up in a ball and never get out of bed again. I keep meeting the same people over

College before we could communicate an accurate plan to students and employees.”

Without hot food offered at the Retreat, less labor is needed to produce food in the College Center, forcing many workers to move to Gordon Commons. Per the Service Employees International Union (SEIU) 200United union contract, full-time dining staff retained their hours. “All that [management] and the College have focused their efforts on at the Retreat has been on cutting

costs,” the first worker said. “Not repairing failing infrastructure and reducing labor are the preferred methods of cutting costs.”

Recent dining initiatives allowed for reduced labor costs. The majority of the Retreat’s menu is now outsourced to York Street Food Company in New Jersey, instead of being produced in-house, according to the first worker.

This is not the first time in recent memory that students have raised dining concerns with Bon Appétit. In 2021, the Vassar College Prison Divestment Campaign called to cut ties with Bon Appétit and its parent company, Compass Group, which is one of the three major food providers in the United States and supplies food in prisons. In 2017, a joint student and staff rally at the Gordon Commons called for better working conditions.

Several other universities have taken action against Bon Appétit. In July 2022, students at Johns Hopkins University organized to end the college’s contract with the company over worker treatment concerns. Dining workers at Whittier College walked out to demand better pay and pension plans from Bon Appétit. At Wesleyan University, student-dining workers unionized for higher wages and improved working conditions.

Since arriving at Vassar College in 2017, Bon Appétit has reduced labor costs by eliminating two out of three Retreat managers and understaffing Retreat, according to the

Analyzing ‘Barbenheimer’

Thissummer, blockbuster films “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” took the world by storm by sharing a release date, and thus participating in a dual marketing campaign that consumers took it upon themselves to create. The term “Barbenheimer,” which emerged on the internet when the films were first announced, refers not only to the shared release of the films, but also to the phenomenon in which moviegoers would attend a double feature of the films.

While Barbenheimer inevitably invited a feuding comparison between the two movies, their mutual hype also invoked a cultural phenomenon that has been nearly rendered obsolete in the last decade: shared media literacy. Among the boundless landscape of streaming services and thousands upon thousands of movies and TV shows, it has become increasingly more difficult for consumers to relate to each other in regards to digital media over the dinner table. (Herein lies the genius of the Netflix Original, one piece of high value media marketed over all others in order to create a shared experience among viewers—think the release of Stranger Things IV last summer).

heimer was a central topic of conversation across all platforms. Memes abounded, with TikTok videos and viral tweets garnering millions of views. One joke, in reference to Christopher Nolan’s intention for “Oppenheimer” to be shown on an IMAX screen, showed the movie being played on ever-smaller screens, including one built into a Barbie Doll. Yet viewers still felt the slow burn of “Oppenheimer” as opposed to the animated nature of “Barbie.” Despite the collective hype about the movies, its consumers were made aware of their significant differences in the movie theater.

Emily Tieu ’24 was one of many who committed to an “Oppenheimer” and “Barbie” double feature at the nearby Poughkeepsie Galleria, in that order. She called the experience an “emotional rollercoaster,” with the intensity of “Oppenheimer” sharply contrasted with the humor and personal connection she felt watching “Barbie.” Jake Silva ’24 watched the double feature in the opposite order. He said, “We attended a matinee of Barbie, had a burrito break, and then caught Oppenheimer in IMAX 70mm. The best and biggest way to see it!”

Some, however, did not opt for the ambitious choice of spending five cumulative hours in the movie theater. Skylar Huebner ’24 saw the two movies on separate days, and even saw Barbie twice in two different conti-

See FIRST YEAR on page 6 See BARBENHEIMER on page 4

In addition, given the rise of cultural criticism and viewer-driven discussion on social media in the last several decades, Barben-

Read Oliver Stewart’s investigation into the recent uptick in bathroom shenanigans.

Read Nick Villamil’s analysis of University of Nebraska’s record-breaking Volleyball Day.

Read Presha Kandel’s first-year experience as a Texan at a liberal arts

Catherine Borthwick Live Events Chair

See DINING on page 3

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

September

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Cost-cutting patterns emerge behind Retreat closure

Continued

from

second worker.

Worker benefits have also been impacted by the cost-cutting efforts. “Beginning of last year, they cracked down on people with their spouses or kids on their [health] insurance who were also working and could have insurance through their job,” the second worker said. A $3,000 deductible was necessary for the spouse’s plan, which was unaffordable for the couple. “The College kicked [my spouse] off without any notification and sent a letter after they had already kicked [them] off.”

Student Labor Dialogue (SLD), an organization that coordinates discussions between students and workers toward better wages, benefits and working conditions, compiled further dining staff testimonials. As of Sept. 12, there are twelve testimonials detailing workers’ grievances and demanding changes from the administration.

“We enjoy our jobs and like to make the students feel at home. We put a smile on our faces and head off to serve the Vassar community daily. Lately, many of us are feeling less and less a part of this community. We feel overworked, overwhelmed and lacking respect from the management teams of both Bon Appétit and Vassar College,” one worker testimonial from SLD stated. Further, daily understaffing results in floors rarely mopped before closing, tables not disinfected regularly and supervisors taking on more responsibilities, they reported.

SLD created an excel sheet for students to add their signatures to stand in solidarity with dining workers. An email template

is also attached for students to garner an administrative response from Dean of the College Carlos Alamo and Vice President of Information Technology and Human Resources Carlos Garcia. SLD plans to publish a zine, a non-commercial magazine, detailing the testimonials of dining workers later this semester.

“I feel like [workers] are afraid to talk to students about [what is] going on, like what I’m doing right now. Nobody’s telling me I

can’t talk to students. Any of the employees will have one story to talk about. There is a better chance if [students and workers] are on the same side instead of us screaming into the void,” the second worker said.

Looking ahead to the summer of 2025, union negotiations will occur between the SEIU 200 dining union, the College and Bon Appétit. Previous negotiations extended the existing contract as the College was not able to offer a meaningful raise at the time, ac-

cording to the second worker.

Students struggle to cope with extreme weather

Emma Adams Assistant News Editor

The National Weather Service issued an official heat advisory for Dutchess County beginning last Friday, Sept. 8. With highs over the weekend reaching 98 degrees, the advisory included information regarding the Heat Index. The Heat Index factors air temperature with humidity to calculate how uncomfortable a person might feel with these two forces, producing a value in degrees Fahrenheit. The Town of Wappinger reported that the Heat Index peaked on Saturday, reaching a whopping 111 degrees. Heat waves continued through Sunday and finally broke by Monday.

Associate Dean of the College for Campus Activities Dennis Macheska sent an email to the Vassar community last Tuesday, Sept. 5, warning students of the ongoing heat wave and reiterating statements made by the National Weather Service. Macheska composed a short list of cooling locations on campus with air conditioning, including the Bridge for Laboratory Sciences, Gordon Commons and the College Center. In addition, he provided tips to stay cool, such as cold showers, staying hydrated and avoiding high-intensity outdoor activities. However, outdoor fall sports continued practice and games, including mens and womens tennis, mens and womens soccer, mens and womens rugby, mens and womens cross country and field hockey. Students across campus are finding it difficult to deal with the high temperatures. Most students do not have air conditioning

in their dorms, as small air conditioning units are prohibited unless students receive housing accommodations from the Office for Accessibility and Educational Opportunity (AEO). Many windows can be seen housing box fans to help bring in fresh air and a cool breeze. However, some students do not even have that. The suites of Main Building contain some dorm rooms that have no outside window access; instead, the windows face inside to a hallway. Nico Silverman-Lloyd ’25 lives in one such room on the third floor of Main. “The only way I can get some air circulation is to have my window open, which I don’t like to do because it faces a pretty busy hallway where anyone walking by could easily have a clear view of my bed,” he said.

One student, who wishes to remain anonymous, obtained a prohibited air conditioning unit two years ago and has relied on its continued use for comfort in this weather. “I use an air conditioner not sanctioned by the AEO because my room reached over 93 degrees and it was sweltering hot,” the student shared. “I couldn’t sleep or focus because of how hot it was. I felt like I was in an oven.” All across campus, students are echoing these sentiments, complaining of intense temperatures and high humidity in their on-campus housing.

While most Vassar residences do not have built-in cooling systems, several of the newly constructed Town Houses (THs) have central air conditioning. Maggie Rudbach ’24 is living in a TH with central AC. Rudbach said of her experience, “Having AC in my house has made my life so much better. I really think that Vassar should work on offering more spaces that are air conditioned.” She continued, “I was here over the summer a year ago and I never felt comfortable in my [Josselyn House] room

because it would get so hot. It was pretty miserable, especially compared to my living situation now.”

As the heat intensified at the end of last week, students faced yet another weather-related obstacle. Beginning Thursday night, a series of thunderstorms struck campus. Freddie Von Siemens ’25 witnessed a tree on the residential quad split in two from the sheer force of the wind. “Honestly, the night the trees fell was some of the craziest weather I’ve ever experi-

enced,” Von Siemens said. “The lightning was lighting up the whole sky and the tree fell within a matter of thirty minutes of the storm beginning.” Deeming it unsafe to remain outside her dorm, Lathrop House, Von Siemens took shelter in the air-conditioned library.

The one bonus of a constant stream of storms there was a significant drop in temperature as the week began. As September draws on and fall arrives, students can expect cooler, more comfortable weather.

Jyotsna Naidu/The Miscellany News.

September 14, 2023

White noise, candy and ‘Truisms’: discussing ‘Body Matters’

Julia Pippenger Guest Columnist

Professions go in and out of vogue as quickly as skirt lengths. These days, being a curator is all the rage. Step into Taylor Hall and one will surely find an art history major dreaming of a degree in Curatorial Studies or a fellowship at the Guggenheim. Curation is a necessary function of any artistic space, a tool to contextualize and historicize works of art. The artistically minded practice curation each day, whether constructing a sandwich or choosing between loafers and boots. Everyone can curate; anyone who wishes to should be afforded the opportunity.

Last semester, the Art Department and the Loeb offered an independent study that brought curation within reach for a small group of students. The course was part of the Loeb’s show, “What Now? (Or Not Yet),” an exhibition that juxtaposed older, renowned pieces with new works, primarily from artists of marginalized identities. Under the leadership of John Murphy, Curator of Prints and Drawings at the Loeb, students collaborated on a total “re-curation” of the show, titling it “Body Matters.”

Ezra Venditti ’24, one of six student curators in the class, kindly offered to walk me through the “Body Matters” exhibit. The original show consisted of three rooms–“Past/Breath,” “Present/Bodies” and “Future/Text.” I ask Venditti what they thought of it. “I enjoyed it, but I thought…it was pretty dense, there was one room that was just text, which was like walking into a book,”

they explain. “So I think a lot of what we were trying to do when we ‘re-curated’ was to make it more accessible and easy to understand.”

Venditti leads me to the front of the exhibition. Over the dark gray paint of the original show’s walls, student curators added two hot pink stripes bearing the new title, “Body Matters.” The stripes remind me of caution tape, signaling a work in progress. The original title is still visible underneath.

Bold color continues throughout the exhibit. Rich midnight blue and vibrant teal bathe the walls in ocean hues. “We wanted to use a really bright color to draw people in,” Venditti explains. “We wanted to move away from the white-walled gallery.”

Walking into the first room, “Bodies in Motion,” I am struck by Jeffrey Gibson’s painting “Migration,” its brilliant canvas awash with bold geometric fractals in violet hues. Gibson is a queer indigenous artist who explores his identity and heritage through art, particularly the parallels between queer nightlife and powwow culture.

I cannot help but notice the absence of Marsden Hartley’s “Indian Composition,” a hot-button painting originally placed across from “Migration.” What happened?

“We did decide to take it down,” Venditti replies. “If we were in a place where maybe people would read labels more, or if there was some way to stage it … For a moment we were talking about putting some sort of curtain in front of it so that you opt into seeing it, but that seemed like it would be really theatrical and could draw attention to it.”

It would be easy for a curator to assume

that visitors will engage with an exhibition as deeply as they do. In reality, guests might not read a long wall text explaining the controversial nature of a painting like “Indian Composition”; many will take its presence at face value.

Venditti pushed for the inclusion of Jenny Holzer’s “Truisms,” square frames filled with text. Each room has its own truism corresponding to its theme. The next room, “Bodies in Memory,” has a forest green truism. One line reads “CHANGE IS THE BASIS OF ALL HISTORY. THE PROOF OF VIGOR.”

Turning around, I gaze at Felix Gonzalez-Torres’ ““Untitled” (L.A.),” a mound of green cellophane-wrapped candy piled on the floor. While Gonzalez-Torres avoids ascribing particular meaning to his work, this installation was born in 1991, when he lost his partner due to an AIDS-related illness. Visitors are invited to touch and taste the candy, interacting with a mass that may represent the body of Gonzalez-Torres’ beloved. As visitors take candy and more is added, a cycle of depletion and replenishment mirrors the cyclical nature of loss and grief.

The dissonant sound of industrial jazz pulls us into the third room, “Bodies in Media,” where three videos from web art group Young-Hae Chang Heavy Industries are projected on a loop. Unlike the other rooms, “Bodies in Media” is painted completely white. The curators wanted to depict a loss of control and comfort in this room, focalizing the idea that marginalized people do not control how they are depicted in the media.

Nicholas Galanin’s “Static Broadcast, American Prayer Rug” hangs to the left of the video installation. Galanin is an Tlingit and Unanga multimedia artist. “It is very literally about the way that media depiction of white bodies drowns out other things,” Ezra explains. “The little sections of red are interesting to me: it feels so violent in such a quiet way.”

We turn right and enter the reading room where Venditti leads me to the final “Truism.” Highlighted by a scarlet background, the text reads:

“IT ALL HAS TO BURN, IT’S GOING TO BLAZE. IT IS FILTHY AND CAN’T BE SAVED. A COUPLE OF GOOD THINGS WILL BURN WITH THE REST BUT IT’S O.K., EVERY PIECE IS PART OF THE UGLY WHOLE.”

Venditti hopes that “Body Matters” will radically inspire viewers to rethink what they know. “It’s fine if things change in a way that ends up being destructive for a moment,” they tell me.

The Loeb’s experimental foray into student curation was a successful one. “Body Matters” feels fresh and grounded: something outside of the museum walls has touched it. Unfortunately, the exhibit closed on Sept. 10. I ask Venditti if they were disappointed that the show ran over the summer, a period of low foot traffic at Vassar. They look at Jenny Holzer’s red “Truism,” thinking for a minute, then smile. “For some reason, I don’t really care how many people visit it. I mean, I do care, but for me what I got out of it was more the practice of curating. I’m happy with it.”

Analyzing the summer of ‘Barbenheimer’

Continued September 14, 2023

from BARBENHEIMER on page

nents (once in Greece and once in the United States). Heubner mentioned that she resonated with “Barbie” more. “Even though the movie can be viewed as ‘starter pack’ white feminism, it’s insane that this was the biggest blockbuster of the summer in a culture with increasing attacks on women, people of color and trans people.” Tieu shared similar thoughts on the personal impact of the movie. “It made me rethink Barbie as this one-dimensional doll. She’s seen as an ideal woman and someone we all wanted to grow up to be, but the movie showed that we are supposed to become who we want to be and what makes us feel alive. And that doesn’t have to look long-legged, plastic and pink.”

“‘[Barbie is] seen as an ideal woman and someone we all wanted to grow up to be, but the movie showed that we are supposed to become who we want to be and what makes us feel alive. And that doesn’t have to look long-legged, plastic and pink.’”

As for Oppenheimer, both Tieu and Huebner agreed that it was fast-paced and engaging in its storytelling, though it could have done more reflection on the devastation of the bomb. “Oppenheimer did not fully address the effects of the bomb tests on the populations and environment in the area,

which felt like a meaningful omission,” said Huebner. Tieu shared similar thoughts, but acknowledged the difficulty of addressing such a complicated subject; the movie already spans over three hours long.

Sophia Kim/The Miscellany

“‘[I]t’s insane that this was the biggest blockbuster of the summer in a culture with increasing attacks on women, people of color and trans people.’”

Stevie Nicks’ solo concert was from my “Dreams”

Emma Lawrence Columnist

As the lights dimmed on a humid May evening in Orlando, Florida, thousands of eager fans gathered in anticipation. Stevie Nicks was about to take the stage. The former Fleetwood Mac singer started performing solo in 1981 with her “White Winged Dove Tour,” boasting the lyrics from the beloved song “Edge of Seventeen.” “Bella Donna,” her debut album after leaving the band, topped the Billboard 200 that same year, and her music career has never been the same since.

Nicks began her show with “Outside the Rain,” track nine on “Bella Donna.” The crowd went wild. At 75 years old, her voice has remained nearly the same—just with added maturity. “Look in my eyes, touch my face/Baby there’s no one that/Can ever replace that heartache,” rang throughout the entire Amway Center. She then seamlessly transitioned into Fleetwood Mac’s song “Dreams,” a smash hit on TikTok two years ago. User 420doggface20 re-popularized the tune for Generation Z by aimlessly skateboarding in the middle of the street drinking cranberry juice. This carefree aesthetic perfectly encapsulates the song, and the audience knew every word. Nicks swayed as she sang her emblematic lyrics, and a kaleidoscope of colors filled the stage.

After a blackout, the iconic chords of another Fleetwood Mac hit, “Gypsy,” began. The screen behind her lit up with footage from the 1982 music video. Nicks returned to the stage in a monochromatic black outfit complete with flowy sleeves. The audience simply watched her in awe. There were hardly any phones in the crowd—everyone was taking in the moment.

An overwhelming cheer filled the arena

as the set came to a close. Nicks then re-entered the stage and began her encore set with a cover of “Free Fallin’” by the late musician Tom Petty. Close friends in the 1980s, Nicks originally wanted to join Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, but ultimately never did. I remember my mom playing this song for me in the car every day before elementary school started, so hearing this song live from such a talented artist was exhilarating.

“Gorgeous images of twirling vines and blossoming flowers illuminated the enormous screen. Blue lights encompassed the stage and flickered, adding to the overall dreamy aura [Rhiannon] emits.”

“Rhiannon,” one of my favorites, caused the audience to explode in screams. Since she had not played arguably Fleetwood Mac’s most popular song, we assumed it did not make the setlist. The surprise made me that much more excited to hear the iconic opening lyrics: “Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night / And wouldn’t you love to love her?” Gorgeous images of twirling vines and blossoming flowers illuminated the enormous screen. Blue lights encompassed the stage and flickered, adding to the overall dreamy aura this song emits. She concluded her concert with “Landslide,” a song that never fails to make you reminisce. A song about the ever-evolving path of life, the introspective lyrics highlight

the inevitable nature of growing up. The simplistic instrumentalization forces you to feel the passage of time through Nicks’ prolific lyrics. The crowd lit up with flashlights, swaying them to the acoustic hit. Only the lead guitarist and Nicks remained on stage, creating an intimate moment between them and the audience. It felt as if we were in Nicks’ recording studio, watching her practice such a personal song. I was over-

whelmed with emotion hearing her melodious voice and just embraced my mom. I walked out of the arena filled to the brim with pure bliss—that was the concert of my dreams. I threw on my new sweatshirt and left feeling nostalgic. Stevie Nicks’ concert elicited feelings of euphoria, wistfulness, and warmth. If you have the opportunity to see her live, consider attending Nicks’ tour, running until March of 2024.

‘Bottoms’ tops other teen comedies

Ciara McIntyre Guest Columnist

OnAug. 5, my friend and I found ourselves at the AMC Boston Common once again; we had Barbenheimered at that very place just two weeks prior. But on this particular Saturday evening, we were Bottoming.

“Bottoms” follows best friends PJ and Josie as they begin a self-defense club under the guise of promoting female empowerment and solidarity. The reality is: they are both lesbians in their senior year of high school, stereotypically obsessed with losing their virginities to their respective cheerleader crushes for whom the club is targeted. In “Bottoms,” Ayo Edebiri and Rachel Sennott co-star for the first time outside of the low budget sketch-comedies they wrote together in the past. The high-energy, teen movie status of “Bottoms” makes the action film the perfect territory for a necessary feature-length comedy to exhibit the incredible chemistry of the pair to more audiences.

For me, an engaging viewing experience combined with a solid B-list-studded cast made “Bottoms” my most memorable 2023 release thus far. The Boston crowd was fantastic. We were audibly engaged from the second we all began cheering for Nicole Kidman’s AMC ad—some even reciting it verbatim—up until the moment we roared when “music by Charli XCX and Leo Birenberg” appeared in the credits.

Directed by 28-year-old Emma Seligman, the movie is a highly saturated sim-

ulation of early-2000s American high school. Colorful, intentional characters and their equally polychromatic situations focalize “Bottoms” as a film. Seligman and Sennott co-wrote the screenplay in fragments over the years since they graduated from NYU and worked together on Seligman’s first feature, “Shiva Baby.” “Bottoms” provides a timeless high school utopia for queer protagonists. The landscape alleviates bigotry, aside from casual homophobic lines aimed at providing comedy for queer viewers.

The friend who joined me at the early screening in Boston wears khakis to John Mayer concerts, drinks hot coffee and received his bachelor’s in Economics. But he got it. “Bottoms” is a queer film, but it comprises decades of high school comedy themes, David Fincher visual aesthetics and fight choreography that everyone has seen and loved before.

Of course, my straight guy friend getting “Bottoms” may be less of a credit to the movie’s expansive mode of address than it is a credit to the small liberal arts college in Poughkeepsie, New York, from which he got his degree. Four years in the Vassar community is perhaps the reason why he reacted more vocally to a line alluding to Gloria Steinem as the mother of feminism than any of the other theater patrons. Vassar’s political sensibilities may also explain why he uncontrollably snorted in response to an improvised one-liner delivered by Edebiri, defining another character as “a Black Republican.”

While I feel that “Bottoms” was a missed

opportunity for a revolutionary queer reupholstering of the high-school action comedy, it is easy for me to forget that the film is in fact revolutionary in and of itself. It is fresh because of its intersectional identity not dissimilar to the multifaceted identities of many of its characters; “Bottoms” is both a work of new queer cinema and a teen action comedy inspired tonally by the likes of David Fincher’s “Fight Club” and Edgar Wright’s “The World’s End.” Sennott and Seligman did not upcycle certain one-dimensional characterization molds. They sought to revolutionize the realm of queer cinema, not to re-examine the tropes of teen action comedy. In this vein, the film lacked an emphasis on satire. The inexperienced characters’ obsession with having sex solely for having it is not scrutinized. I suppose that lack of absurdity also fuels the near-perfect execution of the feature-length film. There is simplicity to “Bottoms” that not only makes it the perfect plot to pitch pre-production; it also supports the artistic precision of the threeact structure as a finished product. “Bottoms” is undeniably just another absurd high-school movie, but its innovation lies in it giving that absurdism to those who have not had a place in it before.

I knew “Bottoms” was going to be explosive even before I experienced this early screening, but I was not expecting such an exponential uptick in distribution this month. Advertisement was sparse before August, but with social media promotion near “Barbie”-like proportions, it is relevant beyond the niche of queer circles.

“Sennott and Seligman did not upcycle certain one-dimensional characterization molds. They sought to revolutionize the realm of queer cinema, not to re-examine the tropes of teen action comedy.”

This is not about my straight guy friend who accompanied me to the AMC Boston Common, though. Anytime before 3 p.m. in the halls of my all-girls Catholic highschool, we referred to our Gay-Straight Alliance as “fight club” to keep it under wraps. Now, “Bottoms” is the only thing I would ever euphemistically refer to as such. Queerness is neither a lens through which to read the congested masculinity of David Fincher’s “Fight Club,” nor is it an experience allegorical to that of being a high-school outcast. It is an identity distinct from just being a plain loser at high school. PJ and Josie are gay girls who are also just incredibly uncool and untactful when it comes to reaching their goals. In “Bottoms,” those goals happen to be romantic. It is a teen comedy, after all. And with that, cinema is back and better than it was before. Low-stakes, light-hearted queer chaos is here and should stay.

Emma Lawrence/The Miscellany News.

The hopes, dreams and nightmares of my first-year experience

Continued from FIRST YEAR on page 1

and over again. Their names never seem to stick and their faces blur together.

I am miserable and also the happiest I have ever been. I am in one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. I am finally getting to choose what I study. I can spend as much time alone as I want. My first-year experience is one of joy and sorrow. This is everything I have ever wanted and the most difficult challenge. I do not know how my four years at Vassar will look—all I can do

now is hope. I can hope that I find friends, figure out who I am and what I want; hope that this feels normal and hope that my perpetual headache fades. As the weather cools and the days get shorter, I finally feel myself settling in. I cannot quite believe myself when I say that I belong here. But I do.

Many of my peers have begun congregating in small groups. Their friendships are already established. I desperately cling to any sense of belonging and friendship; I long for a shoulder to lean and cry on after

a long day. But I find comfort in the heat of the sun and the smell of freshly cut grass. I smile and wave at absolute strangers, pretending to remember where I met them. I feel out of place and out of my mind. I claim a library table, and it becomes my new home. I blast sad music and wonder why I am unhappy. My only consolation is that this will get better. I am a raincloud ruining a sunny day. But now all I have to do is look for another person who loves the rain as much as I do.

Professor Pearlman speaks on the gender wage gap

Yaksha Gummadapu Reporter

OnAug. 30, five female Vassar professors filed a lawsuit against Vassar College, claiming wage discrimination based on gender over the course of many years. Once I navigated all the Deece-booth rumors and Fizz discourse, as well as the actual articles that broke the news, I was immediately thrown back into problem-set mode. I was trying to look for data and metrics that could help me make sense of the gender wage gap on campus the same way we had for different occupations when I took ECON 206: “Gender Issues in Economics” with Professor Sarah Pearlman, the Chair of the Economics Department, last semester.

When Pearlman walked into one of those indistinguishable economics classrooms in Kenyon Hall to teach “Gender Issues in Economics,” checking the time to make sure she was on time (she was), she made a claim that this would be the most personal economics class that any of us would take. I decided to trust the word of the Chair of Vassar College’s Economics Department, and now more than ever it has become evidently clear how true Professor Pearlman’s words were.

As someone who identifies as a woman, the concept of the wage gap and the implications of marriage or motherhood on the market were not unknown to me. But I was under the impression that due to my qualifications, knowledge and social progress, these issues wouldn’t affect me. Socioeconomic gender issues that were discussed during my time in class just felt like problems to be learned about and “solved” on my final to get an A. But, of course, those issues did not stay in my readings or were not simple enough for a basic graph to explain. Instead, I learned that they might be right here, impacting leaders in a community I considered a safe and pioneering space for women.

It became apparent to me that the knowledge I had gained last semester was not niche, but incredibly relevant and should be common knowledge. So I emailed Professor Pearlman for the first time since May to ask if she would share with me, and the rest of the campus, what her class aims to teach and how it can help all of us navigate both the conversations on campus now and those that will persist throughout our lives.

Before I asked Professor Pearlman to unfairly compress a semester’s worth of knowledge into a short 25 minute interview, I wanted to talk to her about the class itself. “I’ve always been curious about issues like the gender wage gap and women’s labor force participation issues,” she began. While discussion of the gender wage gap may take up the majority of the syllabus, the class goes beyond just the workplace. Professor Pearlman also dedicates classes to the personal issues of marriage, fertility and childbearing, and how those events and choices can impact everyone’s working lives. “I had a kid

and so it became very salient…teaching a class is a great way to learn a whole bunch more.”

In Professor Pearlman’s office, economics sheds its unfair stereotype of being impersonal and insensitive. Professor Pearlman is also willing to admit that her discipline does not hold all the answers. “A big portion of this class very much relies on using data, to answer questions, but to also recognize some of the limits of data…some research is going to evolve as the way that we collect data on people evolves. We had to talk about gender as binary. The census is not asking people [if they are non-binary]. They only provide two choices [on the census]. I, and none of these authors I think, would ever claim that we’re explaining all of this completely,” she reflects. And this mentality was undoubtedly reflected in class. There were countless times when we would discuss a marriage market or childbearing decisions and Professor Pearlman would say “Obviously, psychology has a lot more to say about this,” or “Sociology has way more to say about this. This is just what economics has to say.” This speaks to the complexity of the role of gender and Professor Pearlman’s awareness that economics alone cannot give us all the answers.

Professor Pearlman shared how she approaches analyzing the gender wage gap in her class. “In the class, we spent about a third of it talking about the gender wage gap. In the beginning, we do these decomposition exercises to understand the gap better.” This decomposition exercise essentially splits the gender wage gap into three categories based on the factors that cause the gap. The first category is observable characteristics. Professor Pearlman defines these as data that is collected by the census data. The second category is unobservable characteristics. These are the nuances of a person’s employment that the census does not pick up. “We can see the observable. That would be hours that they work. What we can’t see is an adjustment to those hours or when those hours happen. That might explain differences in pay.”

Professor Pearlman explains this further by citing the example that we had covered in class of the gender wage gap between Uber drivers. Male Uber drivers are more likely to accept late-night and longer rides than female Uber drivers, leading male drivers to be higher paid on average, even though the gap is small. This is not a case of the algorithm discriminating based on gender, but sex-based societal structures definitely play a role, since reasons like safety concerns could explain why female drivers are less likely to facilitate late-night rides. Other factors that fall into this category include occupational sorting, which is the distribution of workers across and into occupations based on their gender. It is the technical term for the male domination of high-paying and -powered jobs. The last category is the unexplained factors. “That is where we actually spent a lot

of time [in the class]. So ‘unexplained’ could be discrimination—that you are getting paid less for doing the exact same job. But then it is tricky. How do you define the exact same job?”

In addition to unequal pay, the lawsuit also claimed that Vassar College has decreased their transparency surrounding salary and wages over the past few years. Sitting in the economics wing of Blodgett, talking to the Chair of the Economics Department of Vassar College, I simply had to ask about if data supported the notion that salary transparency plays a role in decreasing the gender wage gap. “I don’t think it is common practice, which is why there are just a couple of papers about it…one paper that has looked at state-mandated transparency... found that it did lead to a reduction in the gender wage gap. So there is something to transparency.”

Professor Pearlman also informed me, to my surprise, that public universities and colleges share how much they pay their professors.

Private colleges however, such as Vassar College, do not have that obligation. “You are not going to be able to get it. We can’t even get that for our own institution,” Professor Pearlman said when asked about private college’s wage data .

But Vassar College is not just any private college. As reporters and students alike have been stating and echoing, it is a historically

women’s college and the second college in the United States to award degrees to women. When we sit down to do our work in Thompson Library, we do it under the towering image of Lady Elena Lucretia Cornaro-Piscopia, the first woman to receive a doctorate, adorned in Vassar’s original colors, rose and gray. Does the history of an institution being so closely associated with the education and empowerment of women have any impact on their policies regarding their female workforce? “This is an excellent question,” Professor Pearlman replied, laughing approvingly. “But I don’t know the answer,” she admitted and then explained her hesitation by comparing it to a similar question we had covered in class, which asked if female bosses lead to better outcomes for other women in the institution. “Iis it just about the female leader or about more parts of the institution that would change how employees fare at those institutions?” She asked, prompting me to answer my own question.

I am grateful that I took Gender Issues in Economics; it changed the way I view economics and its role in my life. It also helped me better understand the issues people in my community are dealing with. Gender Issues in Economics is a class that all of us should be willing to make the hike to Kenyon for!

“I do not know how my four years at Vassar will look—all I can do now is hope. I can hope that I find friends, figure out who I am and what I want; hope that this feels normal.”

Image courtesy of Vassar College.

FEATURES

How New York brought out the Texan in me

Presha Kandel Guest Reporter

I’m currently listening to country music. Growing up in a Texas town probably should have made me a long-time country music fan, but the surprising thing is, I began listening the first week of college. I have always been a mainstream pop fan—I would detest when country music was played in grocery stores, on the radio or at the doctor’s office. Any music was better than country music.

But after the first day of classes, I found myself looking for songs that described the knot of emotions I was feeling. I felt like talking to someone but I was not yet close to anyone. My hometown friends were not answering my texts fast enough. I was left to feel my emotions alone, so I decided to play Alex Roe’s “Finally Home” from the movie “Forever My Girl.” The upbeat guitar, banjo and drums fool you into thinking it is the perfect song to dance to with a cowgirl hat and boots. You almost miss the lyrics “But now I’m turning back the tide/ I didn’t realize how far I’d gone.” Because I in fact did not—the immense greenery on Vassar’s campus deceives me into thinking I am still in my small Texas town. I think about going home at times and realize that home is 1,700 miles away.

I felt like an outlier in Texas. The number of Trump 2024 flags on the back of trucks is immeasurable. Christian and conservative

values run deep. Seeing Confederate flags is not uncommon. Guns are openly carried, glued to hips. I loathed cowboy hats and boots, despite owning them. In my 12 years of Texas schooling, I never wore boots to school, although they are a big part of Texan identity. Trucks too.

And if you told me that I would be listening to country music in college, I would have laughed in your face. I have always had an itch to leave Texas. I wasn’t sure why—I was happy with my family, friends and my home. I was more liberal than most, but I would not uproot my life for that reason. Maybe it was the suburban town where I grew up. The reasoning behind the itch is indescribable. I knew I wanted something more and something different.

But now, in a colder, northeastern campus, I long for how Texans quickly say “God bless you” right after you sneeze. I long for how Texans smile and wave at everyone they pass by, even strangers. I surprisingly miss the cowboy hat, belt and boots combo that Texas loves so much, the football craze and the Texas pledge.

So I sit here, semi-enjoying my warm dorm; I cannot help it—I am from Texas. I bundle up when the weather dips below 70 degrees and I listen to country music on blast. I annoy my next-door neighbors by talking about Texan culture and life, realizing that I am speaking out of a place of love. Somehow, New York brought out the Texan in me.

Cognitive Science Department welcomes Professor Flusberg

Caroline Robinson Guest Reporter

Meet Stephen Flusberg, Vassar’s newest tenure-track cognitive science professor. Flusberg grew up in a suburb of Boston and went to public high school, where he, in his own words, “acted (poorly) in a couple of school plays and played on the ultimate frisbee team (we lost in the national finals my senior year).” His high school’s claim to fame is that Matt LeBlanc went there and Matt Damon’s father coached the baseball team. Flusberg attended Northwestern University for undergrad where, after entering college having no idea what he wanted to study or do after graduation, he took an introductory psychology class, fell in love with the subject and ended up double-majoring in Psychology and Religion.

After graduating from Northwestern, Flusberg returned to Boston to complete a paid resident assistant job in a well-known cognitive psychology lab researching visual attention. Through this job, he presented research at a conference for the first time, appeared as a co-author on multiple published papers and worked as a teaching assistant for an introductory psychology course at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. After two years of lab work, Flusberg applied to graduate programs and was very grateful to be accepted to [his] top choice at Stanford University in their Cognitive Psychology PhD program. At Stanford, Flusberg worked with Lera Boroditsky and Jay McClelland studying embodied cognition, mental imagery and metaphor.He promises that “These are all related!”

Flusberg originally fell in love with teaching when he taught a summer course on cognitive psychology and, following this new passion, worked as a consultant for the Center for Teaching & Learning at Stanford for a few years. “In my final year of the PhD

program, I applied to several liberal arts schools and was very lucky to receive a position at SUNY Purchase College as an Assistant Professor of Psychology,” said Flusberg.

“I worked there for about a decade before applying to work at Vassar. And that brings us to today!”

Now, Flusberg is teaching COGS 100: “Introduction to Cognitive Science” and COGS311: “Seminar in Cognitive Science” during the first semester of the 2023-2024 school year.

“The topic of my seminar is the relationship between language and cognition,” Flusberg explained. “We are investigating questions like ‘Are some thoughts unthinkable without language?’ and ‘Do people who speak different languages think about or perceive the world differently?’”

For the second semester of this school year, Flusberg is teaching COGS 100 again, as well as a brand new 200-level course entitled “Language in Action”. “In the true cognitive science spirit, this course will draw on concepts and methods from philosophy, psychology, linguistics and other fields to illuminate how people use language to do things in the real world,” said Flusberg. “This is something I research in my lab. There will be a significant hands-on component to the course, so students will complete a variety of projects to test and implement ideas from the course. This topic connects theoretical and experimental findings to everyday life, so I am hoping students will find it engaging and meaningful.”

Though Flusberg has been teaching for over a decade, he still always gets a bit nervous before the first day of classes. “Sometimes I will have an anxiety dream that I have arrived on the first day with no syllabus and no idea what I am supposed to teach. So, that will probably happen again in January,” shared Flusberg. “I am also a bit nervous about driving to campus in the winter since

I live almost an hour away, but hopefully some snow tires will help. I would say my excitement outweighs my anxiety overall, though!”

The excitement in question? “I am excited to get to know the students at Vassar, as well as my new faculty and staff colleagues. Exploring the campus has also been wonderful so far. I am looking forward to learning my way around better and finding the best places to meet with people, walk my dog and get

some work done. I am also excited to build up my research lab and start working with students on some new and exciting projects.”

With the first two weeks of this year’s classes complete, Flusberg concluded that he is thrilled to be here in the Cognitive Science department at Vassar. “My research and teaching interests have always been multidisciplinary so Cognitive Science is the perfect fit for me. I’m looking forward to a great year!”

Image courtesy of Stephen Flusberg.

Image courtesy of Presha Kandel ’27.

Professor Sajadian joins Anthropology Department

Allison Lowe Guest Reporter

Vassar recently hired over a dozen new tenure-track professors in various departments. One of these new professors is China Sajadian in the Anthropology Department, whose research broadly focuses on displacement, economic anthropology and conflicts over land in the Middle East. I had the pleasure of meeting with Professor Sajadian and getting to learn more about her work and career.

This is Sajadian’s first semester at Vassar, following a one-year postdoctoral fellowship in Anthropology at Smith College. Sajadian is currently teaching ANTH 240: “Anthropology of the Middle East and North Africa” and ANTH 360: “Anthropology of Displacement, Migration, and Transnationalism.” She is excited to be working at a liberal arts college, where she is able to enjoy the close-knit atmosphere and the opportunity to mentor students closely.

Sajadian first began her academic career as an undergraduate at Smith, where she majored in Government. She did not originally plan on studying Anthropology, and instead discovered her passion for the subject when she studied abroad in Jordan. There, she participated in the School for International Training (SIT). SIT’s curriculum included an independent field research project and, despite not knowing much about ethnography, Sajadian decided to conduct an ethnographic project where she did research with multiple generations of Palestinian women living in a refugee camp. Through the study, she realized this was exactly the kind of work that she wanted to continue to do in her career. Though

between undergrad and graduate school, if they can, to make sure that that’s what they really want.”

Following her work with the UN and an NGO, Sajadian began to further pursue her passion for Anthropology, applying for a Foreign Language and Area Studies Fellowship grant through the Department of Education. Through this grant, she was able to branch off of the two years of Arabic education that she received at Smith and pursue more advanced studies, going on to receive her master’s at Columbia University. There, she did intensive Arabic study and became more acquainted with anthropology as a discipline, thus preparing her to apply for PhD programs. She went on to receive her doctorate from the CUNY Graduate Center in New York City, where she was able to live on the Lebanese-Syrian border for two years as a part of her research. Sajadian’s dissertation, “Debts of Displacement: Syrian Refugee Farmworkers at the Lebanese-Syrian Border,” drew from her fieldwork experience in Lebanon and Syria.

“Debts of Displacement,” which Sajadian is working on turning into a book, focuses on her research on the Lebanese side of the Lebanese-Syrian border. There, she worked with Syrian farmworkers who used to migrate seasonally from Syria to Lebanon. She sought to understand how the labor conditions and livelihoods of these workers changed once they became stuck in Lebanon as refugees. The name “Debts of Displacement” comes from the term that Sajadian uses to describe the deep debt that the refugees began to accrue to labor brokers, patrons, employers and each other. She also focuses on the economic conditions that lead to refugee crises and how we can think about these conditions in intersectional and gendered ways. In order to conduct her research, Sajadian worked alongside the Syrian farmworkers in a variety of seasonal crops, doing labor such as weeding, planting and wood gathering. She worked with them as much as she could, saying, “It was the one way for me to actually have time with them and to be able to do interviews, because sometimes they were working up to 10 hours a day.” This allowed her to utilize the anthropological technique of participant observation, in which she was involved in

the activities that her research subjects were doing, thus observing and trying to understand them in this way. She told me, “Not only was it important for me to go to work with them, but also that time spent together built really durable connections and trust in a way that I think would have not been the case had I just come in for a survey or an interview.” Sajadian’s book will go on to investigate this research in order to examine how these seasonal workers’ new status as refugees governs their mobility, as well as how people become attached or obligated to

one another. She began to work on converting her dissertation into a book during her fellowship at Smith and is currently working on revisions. She is hoping to send it to a publisher in the coming year.

Sajadian’s passion and expertise will certainly bring a lot to Vassar during her career at the College. “I’m very happy to be here,” she said. “Vassar students…are so motivated and curious…and not to mention that I have great colleagues here in this department.” I hope that you will all join me in giving a warm welcome to Professor Sajadian!

Sajadian went on to complete her degree in Government, she told me, “I realized that Anthropology was the discipline that really captured my sense of the world and my aspirations to be a scholar.”

Following her graduation from Smith, Sajadian went on to live in Lebanon from 2012 to 2013, where she worked with the United Nations Relief and Works Agency (UNRWA). The UNRWA is a large party responsible for the aid of Palestinian refugees, so she was able to spend a significant amount of time in Palestinian refugee camps. Through her experiences of interacting with refugees and working alongside many Lebanese and Palestinian colleagues, Sajadian became fluent in Arabic. Before beginning graduate school, she also spent a few years working for an NGO in New York. Sajadian describes having gained work experience between her undergraduate and graduate degrees as being extremely important. Through this, she was able to acquire skills that would prepare her for her career in academia, such as learning how to apply for grants and tapping into self-motivation. Sajadian stated, “I always encourage students to give themselves at least a year

“Sajadian’s book will go on to investigate this research in order to examine how these seasonal workers’ new status as refugees governs their mobility, as well as how people become attached or obligated to one another.”

Images courtesy of China Sajadian.

Breaking News

From the desk of Nicholas Tillinghast, Humor Editor

President Bradley’s Sunday emails now featuring 80 percent more ellipses...

Bathroom crimes reach 36-year high

Oliver Stewart Frequent

Asthe 2023-24 school year kicks into gear, authorities have expressed concern over an unprecedented rise in bathroom-related criminal activity at Vassar College, including cubby thefts, failure to flush and leaving large amounts of hair in the shower. Although the Office of Safety and Security declined to share specific bathroom crime-related statistics, they did confirm that they have been receiving record numbers of reports, and several students spoke anonymously to The Miscellany News to share their stories.

“The shower hair situation is unsustainable,” one said. “On Monday, I went to shower, and the walls were 100 percent covered in hair. It was revolting. I felt like I was inside of a bear, or what it would feel like to be inside of a bear if the inside of a bear looked like the outside of a bear looks. You see what I mean?”

Nobody did. But other students, too, have expressed concerns about the fuzzy showers.

“Last time I showered, there was a hairball the size of a fully mature wombat,” an uneasy junior told The Miscellany News in an email. “I’m pretty sure it was looking at me. I shower fully dressed, so it wasn’t a big deal or anything, but it was still kind of weird.”

Hair has also been spotted coating the sinks in every dorm building—except one, according to plumber Everett W. Pipes III.

“A lot of times, when people shave, they don’t pay any attention to where all that hair is going, and so it just sits in the sink and clogs everything up,” Pipes said. “I’ve been called in eight times this week already, and that’s not including my pro bono work. At this point, I’ve been to every dorm except Lathrop. There are never any issues there because all the students are bald.”

Cubby thefts have also been increasing at a disturbing rate. Although official statistics were not made available to The Miscellany News for this investigation, one expert, who described himself as “Poughkeepsie’s premiere toilet detective,” estimated that between three and 87 percent of students have been the victim of some form of cubby crime already this school year.

In some cases, items have gone missing from cubbies, but in other, even more concerning instances, contents have been removed and the cubbies repurposed for sinister uses.

“One morning, I was in the bathroom, and when I went to get something from my cubby, all my stuff had been taken out,” a distraught first-year student said. “In its place, there was a miniature boxing ring with two grasshoppers beating the living heck out of each other and a bunch of other grasshoppers standing around and gambling on the fight. When I asked them where my face wash had gone, the grasshoppers just laughed and asked whether I wanted to bet on the challenger.”

The Miscellany News was not able to in-

dependently confirm the veracity of this report, but it comes as a spate of similar crimes have stricken fear into the hearts of bathroom-using students across Vassar’s campus.

“Honestly, personally, I’m not leaving my stuff in the bathroom anymore,” one sophomore said. “My roommate said that it was all made up, and her cubby got turned into a pie stall. Like, there’s a guy back there, and he sticks his head through the cubby and sells pies. I saw it myself.”

In some ways, however, a new normal seems to be emerging. Although Noyes residents were initially incensed by the theft

of every toothbrush in the building, when polled, 74 percent said they had come to appreciate the eight-foot abstract toothbrush sculpture which appeared soon after in the MPR.

Even the student whose cubby was co-opted by pie vendors had to admit that the situation was not without its silver linings.

“I know it doesn’t seem super sanitary,” she said, “but the guy gives me a discount sometimes, and ultimately, you have to applaud the ingenuity.”

“Besides, the strawberry rhubarb is delicious.”

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

Charles Darwin perplexed by Vassar Laundry

Charles Darwin Naturally Selected

Sept. 14, 1872—

Upon reports of a secretive band of humans interacting with highly advanced underground industrial machinery beneath Vassar, my crew members began to investigate.

We dug for hours through an uninhabited stretch of land beneath the main corridor, facing scorching heat, foul smells, limited access to sunlight and pestering sounds from a pipe that dripped what we could only presume was water from the ceiling. After the 45th hour of our dig, our geologist stumbled upon the hallowed site of popular legend and, in awe, presented to us half a dozen state-ofthe-art, sleek mechanical formations that glistened like rubies in an otherwise dismal location.

We soon caught our first glimpse of the band of humans who frequent the machines. It seems they use the mysterious mechanical marvels as an altar for worship, where, after inserting $1.60, they pray that their laundry gods will bestow their fabrics with the gift of water. On the all-too-frequent occasion when the laundry deities do not provide the desired liquid cleanse, the humans respond with frustrated shouting. But despite their near-constant exasperation, the humans al-

ways return to the machines; any who avoid the ritual for more than a week are quickly shunned by their cohort when they inevitably produce unholy pheromones.

Facing the sacred water contraptions are imposing structures that bestow the gift of heat upon the clothing. Their heat gods are not as powerful as their water gods, taking double the amount of time to work their magic on the garments they receive. But the heat gods make up for their lack of physical power with intense emotional fury. When any human pushes their buttons, the devices emit a low noise and begin to tumble rapidly, toasting the clothing with the force of a passionate inferno. Many of the heat contraptions become so infuriated that they digest the fabrics that they are fed, regurgitating a soft, gray, fuzzy substance after they finish their meal.

This heat gift is highly coveted by the humans who violently compete to collect their newly warmed clothing in a variety of poorly designed bags and baskets. To ensure success in this survival of the fastest, some humans use electronic monitoring methods to observe when the next bestowal is available. Other humans are more rapacious; they stop the machine midway through the cycle and steal the treasured warmth for themselves. No one likes those humans.

The humans have, of late, been approach-

ing the machines fearfully, for the room is covered with half-used bandaids, spilled detergent, piles of forsaken clothing, clumps of lint, abandoned socks and haphazardly scattered tissues strewn about as if a tornado had ravaged the hallowed space. Our tornadic suspicions were confirmed when one human spoke of the Voracious Tornado Monster that has been ravaging the site of worship. The Monster vomits clothing in every location possible, including on tables, on the floor and even on top of the holy appliances of heat and water bestowal. The humans have never seen the mysterious Voracious Tornado Monster,

so while they often leave it passive-aggressive notes, they have never been able to vanquish it completely.

Our expedition concluded after several hours of observing the humans in their daily routines. I congratulated our crew on our success; despite the taxing initial dig, we had discovered a new band of humans and the intricate machines they worship so intensely. We still do not understand their strange practices, but for now, we will leave them be.

We wish the humans the best of luck in their efforts to vanquish the Voracious Tornado Monster.

Flusher

Image courtesy of Vice-Admiral Robert Fitz-Roy of the HMS Beagle.

Lost phone, where is it at?

Last weekend, my roommate Maria lost her phone. One moment, it was in her back pocket, and the next, gone. This was her origin story. Her spider bite. Haven’t you ever wondered what led Sherlock Holmes to be the man in the deerstalker hat?

I’ll spare you the harrowing details—the fruitless googling, the questioning of the meaning of the iOS alerts she was emailed, the hours spent searching in the grass. She was unable to log into her Moodle account because she couldn’t do two-factor verification with Duo Mobile. I would take a break from scrolling on my phone at night to look across the room and see her, scrolling on her computer and looking sad. She used my phone to call her parents and do her Snapchat streaks. People talk about the thousand-yard stare of soldiers after combat, but they never bring up the 14-foot stare of a girl without a phone.

We began to question everything and everyone. My boldest theory was that a squirrel

had dragged it away. She found a Craigslist listing for a phone in New Jersey and wondered, “Could it be?” Everyone was a suspect, everything was a clue. Could that be it, under that tree, sunlight glinting off the metal? No, it was an empty can of Bud Light. That person looks guilty. Why are they walking so fast? Hurrying away from the scene of the crime? No, they were just late for class. She became Holmes and I, her Watson.

We became this close to setting up a bulletin board with tacked-up photos and yarn between the tacks. I thought about buying a magnifying glass, Maria a fingerprint duster. We had gone full detective mode—we paced the linoleum of our room, thinking, wondering. Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? Clues, motive and means all blurred together behind a facade of mystery. We embarked on a return to tradition. We told each other where we’d be and when. We left notes on the door. I felt like a pilgrim, forced to scribble letters by candlelight. When I went out, Maria became a woman pacing the cliffs above the sea, wondering when I’d return from my voyage. We expe-

rienced college like our parents and grandparents before us—devoid of technology, a communication wasteland.

It seemed like all hope had been lost. Maria had resigned herself to a phoneless life, rejecting modernity, embracing tradition. But then! A light in the darkness. A beacon of hope lit up, in the form of a text from her cousin, telling us that she could track the

did not find it. We determined that it must be inside and that we must submit ourselves to the mortifying ordeal of knocking on a stranger’s door.

Maria mustered all her courage and knocked. Once. Twice. An upperclassman answered the door, bewildered as to why two girls had been snooping around his backyard. She asked if he had seen a phone. Knowledge dawned on his face, and he said the most glorious words we had ever heard: “Oh, that’s whose phone this is?”

I pumped my fists in the air. Maria jumped up and down. A chorus of angels sang, and he handed back her phone. We rejoiced in high spirits all the way back to the Deece, where we celebrated with Greek bowls and ice cream. Our epic journey had come to a close, and we emerged as changed women.

phone. We dared not dream. We dared not get our hopes up. But we threw on our shoes, sprinted from our dorm and booked it to the Town Houses. We zeroed in on the phone’s location, the specific house it was located at. We searched the lawn, the grass next to the street and even around the back. But we

Now, I take no text for granted. No phone call, no Snapchat, no DM goes without appreciation, now that I know how quickly it can all vanish. Don’t live in the moment; the moment can wait. Instead, hold your phone close to your heart, and make sure it doesn’t fall out of your pocket at the Town Houses.

Josie Wenner

Phoning a Friend

"Maria became a woman pacing the cliffs above the sea, wondering when I’d return from my voyage."

Ramen expert DESTROYS Express ramen

Justyn Cooke Aforementioned Ramen Expert

Instant ramen, cup-a-noodles or just “a cup noodle”—whatever name it’s given, the simple packet or cup of instant ramen is an absolute staple food for college students and anyone who values cheap, quick-to-prepare and moderately tasty stuff. These are undeniable truths. It is thus quite ironic that ramen in its traditional, non-instant form as found in restaurants can be rather pricey, but being such a robust meal there, it makes sense. A “proper” ramen dish is filling, tasty and nutritionally diverse: not just noodles and broth, but rather topped with meat—pork, steak, chicken, fish, eggs (eggs are a bit like proto-meat)—and loads of vegetables—carrot, mushrooms, peas, bok choy, cabbage, maybe spinach, peppers, chives, onion and green/ spring onion, seaweed—and whatever added sauces one might desire. This is why some instant ramen brands include bits of carrot or peas and flecks of herbs, the addition echoing the instant version’s bountiful ancestor. Incidentally, I believe the perfect balance between these two is the Sapporo Ichiban brand of ramen, which has considerably tasty broths and noodles good enough to make a fine base for adding whatever you can cook and throw in yourself. For the more culinarily minded, one could certainly prepare the whole suite and make what would be, by all appearances, a restaurant-style ramen. Personally, I usually just add a couple bits of proto-meat.

It is no surprise that the new mini-market iteration of Express features a selection of one of the most pervasive instant ramen brands, Top Ramen. On exploring this and the store’s other offerings for the first time, however, I also noticed the cup-style noodles. But they were not the old Cup Noodle or Maruchan

brand I know—no, these were fancy, they stood out with a rich blue all over the packaging—unlike the other brands with their whites and yellows on the packaging—and a purple band that declared this product’s name: “VEGAN / MISO RAMEN / NOODLE SOUP” and in tiny text below, “made with organic ramen.” Ramen made of ramen sounds solid enough, but all this extra detail and talk of being vegan and miso and organic seemed far more Trader Joe’s than Cup Noodle, which was seemingly for something with the same cup-based delivery. And then there was the brand label: Right Foods—Dr. McDougall’s, with a picture of someone you’d expect to see playing golf on Long Island. Could this man make me a good ramen, and in dry cup form no less? I had to know—

Then I saw the price and nearly left without a second thought: $4.69—not for a pack, but for one cup. But I did think secondly. What is so special about this ~organic~ ramen? And it was miso; I had never tried an instant miso broth before—could it be good? Against my best judgment, I bought the cup and stowed away with it and my weekly jug of milk. The next night, I thought to try it out for a quick dinner, and after removing the paper cover, I was as astounded as I had been by the price. What I saw was this: the white walls of the inner cup, and, sitting in shadow like a small child lost in a well, a sad little clump of dry noodles and a seasoning packet. The sad ball of noodles, by no exaggeration, does not reach even halfway up the cup, nor does it expand much when cooked. Seriously—go to Express, pick up one of these dang McDougman’s ramen cups, and give it a shake, up and down. You’ll feel how much empty space there is. It’s like if you took a golf ball and sealed it in a Deece cup.

And it’s not even very good—it’s fine, just not great. Putting the miniscule serving size

aside, it doesn’t even beat Cup Noodle in quality. The recommended amount of water leaves a nearly flavorless broth, and cutting down on that leaves a weirdly thick broth that almost tastes spoiled (and yes, that means I bought two of these for this review—my wallet sits in a shallow grave). With that recommended amount, though, it does mercifully gain flavor as the cup nears empty. This is the one saving grace, tiny though it may be, as it is quite a pleasant miso at that point. But still, there lingered the ever-bitter taste of that price tag, “4.69” echoing in my head, like the ghost of my wallet coming back to haunt me.

The big deal about organic noodles amounted to nothing, too: undercooked even when

adding a minute to the recommended cooking time and requiring a herculean amount of stirring to separate the original clump. The seasoning packet is sizable but disappointing, the only extras being some flecks of herb and a few tiny strips of shy seaweed.

Mr. McDougmay cannot, in fact, make me a good ramen, not even with five dollars of my money for a paltry portion of heavy, dull noodles in sub-par broth. I am still baffled by that portion size—it’s like the manufacturers were swindled by wheat scalpers and have to make up their losses with sheer market image. It’s a baffling product. Bewildering; Befuddling; Bemindconfounding; and, put simply, Bequitearipoff.

Allen’s guide to campus walkin’ for dumbasses

Allen Hale Featherless Biped

Getting from point A to point B smoothly is one of life’s simplest joys. However, the chaos of being a campus walker can make navigating Vassar feel like a small-liberal-arts-college gladiator pit. As your tour guide, I can offer the necessary wisdom to ease your walking problems, even if it won’t make Skinner Hall feel any closer.

Our journey starts with (Un)Central Receiving. The misleading name of this decentralized location only scratches the surface of its faults. Students receiving packages that could have gone to the Mailroom find this non-centralized institute to be of great importance, yet it is in the furthest armpit of campus; I dare not mention the depraved isolation of New Hackensack (whatever the hell that is). At peak hours, students wait cluelessly in lines that branch out chaotically like the head of a hydra, resulting in a hectic cramble. It’s best to just cower in the corner until you see your package carried out. Although the seclusion of this center for anti-centralization seems rough, our descent through the circles of Vassar Walking Hell has only just begun. Eat your heart out, Dante.

Carrying your unnecessarily oblong package with you, one must then cross the Bridge for Laboratory Sciences. It’s been hypothesized that the architects responsible realized, at the end of their construction, that the Vassar Bridge actually required a non-bridge component: doors. With the remaining materials from construction,

the architects assembled the worst doors ever created. To the horror of the socially awkward, this location also features a long, highly visibly pathway leading to the entry point. You may smile sweetly at the soul for whom you have held the hulking fixtures open, watching them scamper to reach its handle in a satisfactory amount of time. Some sickos enjoy the sheer power this entails, often giving the unfortunate runners a look that declares “I control you.”

If you’re feeling pretty famished from your trodding, head over to the Retreat for some nourishment. The College Center can get pretty busy, so make sure to—oh shit, it’s after 4 p.m. They close earlier now, I guess. And on the weekends. It’s emptier than your 9 a.m. class. Hot food isn’t back yet anyway. Don’t ask why.

Guess we’re going to the Deece. After aimlessly passing time before dinner starts, you set out on your voyage. Throughout the winding walkway to your ultimate destination, you will encounter a variety of groups that contend for control over this coveted space. The slow-walkers-loud-talkers combination is a common foe that can be conquered by utilizing the grass surrounding the trail; utter something like, “Nice pace, grandma,” to assert your dominance. Next you encounter the mob, a shapeless mass of commoners who have decided to stand like statues while congregating in the middle of the concrete. Similarly, navigate to the side and mutter about the quality of the grass you’re forced to trample over. Out of nowhere, a lunatic biker may pass you. You’re shaken to the core, but remember that

you’ll get the last laugh after another email to the entire student body details the latest bike robbery.

After some puttering, you finally arrive at the Deece in time for dinner, as the Retreat has abandoned any semblance of importance. Scanning the menu, your eyes begin to widen. To your mortification, Home has steak and it’s Greek bowl day at the Global Kitchen; there’s even something remotely appetizing at Oasis! The place is going to be packed … What will you do? The worst offenders of your previous pathways multiply exponentially, congealing into a seemingly infinite, fluid barrier. People

stand directly in front of the utensils while yakking to their friends, wait in lines everywhere and seem to have no sense of direction. All previous advice I have given flies out the building’s door. No, not the middle door, the other ones, please stop leaving out of that door. You might eventually escape to a booth or an oddly sticky table, if you’re lucky, but many are forced to hang their heads in shame and resign to the UpDeece. Better luck next time. As you get ready to repeat this arduous cycle all over again next week, remember my mantra: Be Fearlessly Consequential. Its meaning is open to interpretation.

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

ARIES March 21 | April 19

HOROSCOPES

Jordan Alch

Avid Flavor Blasted Goldfish Fan

Take a deep breath. Feel the humidity in the air. Let it envelop you. Connect to it. Soon, you will find yourself walking through walls, warping wood, making papers weird and damp. You have become the humidity. Embrace it, you are now an agent of Mother Nature. Do what she wishes.

LIBRA Sept. 23 | Oct. 22

You’ll probably have a good week this week. Or maybe not, I have no basis to be saying this. If you’re feeling down, go to the crystal store with a friend and talk about which rocks would be the best to eat. Hematite, yum.

TAURUS April 20 | May 20

Stop going in and out of the wrong doors. I know it’s you doing it. You are ruining the precarious balance of how well society functions. It is incredibly upsetting to me and probably other people as well. The center door at the Deece is for entering, not exiting. There are two other doors you can leave from, don’t be selfish.

SCORPIO Oct. 23 | Nov. 21

Take a walk around Sunset Lake to relax. Have you ever been in the woods around there? They are very pretty. Just don’t go alone at night. I once found an isolated deer pelvis there. I don’t know how it got there, but I don’t want to find out.

GEMINI May 21 | June 20

Remember to wash your face (both of them). I just have a feeling that it’s been a little while since you’ve practiced some self-care. Why not go further than just washing your face? Steal a carton of milk from the fancy new Deece milk fridges. Do it. You won’t.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 | Dec. 21

This is the week of learning how to spell. I’m not just saying that because I am a Sagittarius but I still sometimes find myself forgetting how to spell it. Reminisce about the spelling tests that you took in elementary school. Remember those? Become the person that fifth-grade you would love. Or hate, I don’t make the rules.

CANCER June 21 | July 22

Respond to your texts. Sometimes it is fun to be mysterious and elusive, but you need to make sure that your family knows that you’re alive and well—or as well as you can be without Retreat oatmeal every morning.

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 |

Jan. 19

This is going to be a weird week for you. And me. And maybe all of us. Make the most of it! Embrace the weird, mix it up a little! Start calling the Deece the GoCo, wear those fish shoes in public or walk in front of Noyes on the sidewalk instead of cutting across the grass.

LEO July 23 | Aug. 22

Make sure to listen to Olivia Rodrigo’s new album. Reflect upon the passage of time. Remember when her first album came out? Me too. Do you still feel seventeen? Wrong. You’re going to be twenty next week.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20 | Feb. 18

Do some spring cleaning. I know that it’s that weird summer-fall transitionary period, but sometimes it’s good to get ahead of the game. Why stop at spring cleaning? Take out your winter clothes, who cares that it’s 80 degrees out? You can never be too prepared.

VIRGO

Aug. 23 | Sept. 22

Go buy that thing you’ve been looking at. I know you want to. We all need someone to tell us to do things sometimes. This is me telling you that retail therapy is good, and it is fun to buy yourself a little treat. Or a big treat. Just remember, capitalism is consuming us all, you may as well be a maximalist.

PISCES Feb. 19 |

March 20

This week might be overwhelming. Take some time to reconnect with nature. Go outside and smell the many, many flowers around campus. Don’t get too close, there are bees on the ground. They may not let you go back inside.

Letter to the Editor: Reflections of a (former) student leader

The transition from high school to college is fraught with challenges and culture shocks as one navigates new environments, new people and newfound independence while simultaneously developing and negotiating with one’s sense of cultural awareness and morality. This transition is markedly different for students who come from marginalized backgrounds and communities. One of the largest culture shocks I experienced was navigating a primarily white and wealthy institution, especially coming from a low-income immigrant household and a culturally diverse high school. Vassar was not a place people like me often found themselves in, despite the institution’s many diversity and inclusion initiatives to recruit students from backgrounds similar to mine.

So, how does one find community, feel like they belong or even just make friends when surrounded by such wealth and privilege? You find others like you and make it for yourselves. When I was a sophomore, I found just that in the Native American and Indigenous Student Alliance (NAISA). Re-chartered by Gabrielle James ‘22, Lena Stevens ‘21 and Nika McKechnie ‘21, NAISA was revived as a student organization in the Fall of 2020, and I was lucky enough to sit on the first revived executive board as the treasurer. In this group, we made sure to not only build and sustain a community but also to educate the institution as a whole. We discussed matters like blood quantum, repatriation and Native American Grave Protection and Repatriation Act (NAGPRA), and global indigeneity; we brought speakers onto campus and talked to members of the Munsee Lenape, on whose land Vassar sits. In my time, I eventually became the secretary before hesitantly becoming the president of the organization in the Fall of 2022.

Now, NAISA once again sits with no leadership team (to my current knowledge) or membership and has been centered in a recent controversy with the Vassar Student Association (VSA) in terms of funding. A recent petition by the Workers Student Coalition (WSC) critiqued the VSA and the process by which funding for student organization budgets are handled. As these events came to a head, I was on the sidelines as I tried to sustain NAISA as a student organization. As I mentioned earlier, I hesitantly took on the post of president for the organization, and I was scared and nervous about its health as a whole. Since its revival, the organization has struggled to maintain stable membership and sustain a leadership team.

As the arguments surrounding budgeting devolved, my many attempts to recruit leadership and membership was all for naught, as I graduated and had no choice but to turn over the reins to the ALANA Center and the VSA to hopefully sustain the group so that another student may bring it back.

All of this brings me to my point: student leadership for affinity organizations are some of the most rewarding, thankless and at many times most tenuous positions in the culture of Vassar. As such, I would like to address a few points and themes I have seen in the recent discourse surrounding student organizations and student government.

Accessibility and Transparency

One of the more heavily discussed themes of the recent controversy is the accessibility and transparency of student organizations and student government. Representatives from both sides have argued over the availability of governing documents, like bylaws and the constitution, and the transparency of governing processes like budgeting. This is a complex issue as accessibility and transparency rely on having these documents and processes available to all. However, in my opinion, availability does not equal transparency or accessibility. These processes require labor at every point in their development, creation and execution. Take, for example, the language and format in which such governing documents are written. As college students in an academically rigorous environment, we may be expected to understand such intellectual writing. However, the labor needed to decode such language may not be accessible or transparent. Additionally, the labor required to execute such processes hold within them colonial nuances that fail to take into account the capacity of student leaders of affinity, especially for organizations whose constituencies are smaller. I emphasize the point of labor because that is what it will take to make such processes truly accessible and transparent. In my experience, the bylaws and constitution of student government were not accessible or transparent because of the amount of labor it would take to fully comprehend and execute it. It would require a large amount of labor on behalf of the student leaders who already face an incredible amount of labor to merely ensure the sustenance of the communities they have built. So the question is: whose responsibility is it to make these processes accessible and transparent, as it is clear that both leaders

Letter to the Editor: President

To the Editor,

I want to thank The Misc for their coverage of the lawsuit recently filed against Vassar and address the community about this concern.

The faculty members who made these claims are highly valued members of our community and integral to the quality of education at Vassar. I am grateful for their ongoing commitment and dedication to the students and to their education and research activities.

The matters raised by the lawsuit are important. Vassar has always been com-

of student organizations and student government are overworked and underpaid?

The Echo Chamber

There is no doubt that student leaders do thankless work. The productivity output of student leaders deserves immense respect and recognition. However, they should not go without criticism. A critical lens must be employed so as to not create an echo chamber, a phenomenon I have seen on Vassar’s student leadership landscape many times and something I have fallen into as well in my tenure. Recently, both sides have employed absolutist rhetoric that I challenge all of us to critically analyze. It is difficult to realize when you are sitting within said echo chambers, but one thing we can do is practicing calling in culture, as opposed to calling out culture. When a recent Miscellany News headline read, “VSA’s annual budgeting is fair and thorough,” I was inclined to respond because that claim did not align with my experience. As student leaders, we absolutely must defend and have pride in our work, but not to the point of absolutism. When we speak in these absolutes, we leave no room for growth and we remove our ability to adapt to what we need. As a student leader of affinity, I have seen these echo chambers work against us, seeing as these processes that create said echo chambers can often operate on the standards of wealthier, white student leaders. So, I hope to call in all past, present and future student leaders to be proud but critical of their work.

Institutional Memory

One of the greatest challenges student organizations face is the loss of institutional memory. In the process of reviving NAISA, it took many conversations with alumnae/i, staff and faculty to find the small parts of the organization that once were. These conversations at times brought more questions than answers. Why did the original iteration of NAISA dissolve? What type of programming did they do? Why are there no Native or Indigenous students to sustain this org? We realized that so much of this labor could have been prevented if previous leaders had opportunities to codify and institutionalize their work to challenge both the student landscape and Vassar as an institution. In the entirety of the recent exchange regarding budgeting, the NAISA name was used, but no one asked for my input or thoughts. Why did I not speak up then? Because I was more concerned with keeping the institutional memory of NAISA

alive. As someone who has had their positions on student leadership removed without their input, I can only imagine the amount of knowledge and care that is lost when the echo chambers we operate in fail to take into account and preserve other perspectives. As a student leader of affinity, I have seen institutional memory preserve our work but not the people behind said work. So, I pose a challenge to all past, present and future student leaders to 1) document your work, 2) collaborate and listen to each other 3) and recognize the human behind the activism.

Responsibility

Student leadership is an immense amount of responsibility, which I think the recent discussion has so aptly displayed. These discussions are important, but what are the results of said discussions if they do not center the affinity organizations that have been lost in the scuffle? In all honesty, the entire exchange was an odd experience, as it felt as if everyone was talking about us (Native and Indigenous students, trans students) but not with us. No one reached out in the process of budget allocations (aside from the application itself) or in the aftermath. As someone who has led multiple affinity organizations, the responsibility can be overwhelming; you are responsible for sustaining a community that serves students from the most vulnerable backgrounds against a backdrop of privilege. I have posed many questions and challenges in this message, all of which bear some amount of responsibility. The question remains: Whose responsibility is it to make sure that these organizations—that do so much—are sustained?

This response may seem like I am sitting on the fence between student government and student organization leadership. But in all honesty, my perspective comes from someone who has seen both sides, has held the responsibility of both sides and has struggled to be a leader on both sides. All of the points I address are what makes student leadership so rewarding and so difficult. The answers to my questions and challenges are not clearly defined. To end, action speaks a whole lot louder than words. This response is a call to action because you can have a Land Acknowledgement and you can proclaim that you stand with Native American and Indigenous and trans students, but if your action does not match your words, it does not serve us any good.

– Leonard Versola ’23 President of NAISA 2022-2023

responds to lawsuit concerns

mitted to gender equality and seeks to promote equity in all that it does. Given our shared values, I imagine that these claims can be unsettling and leave many people in the community feeling confused, angry or hurt.

The faculty members who brought this lawsuit have a different understanding of the relevant facts and law that is at issue in this dispute. Annual faculty salary increases are guided by a faculty-led peer-review process as described in Vassar’s Governance (see Pp. 45-46) and the Faculty Handbook (starting at P. 105). The parties have been trying for several

years to resolve these differences, and now some faculty have chosen to have their view adjudicated in a court of law. That is their right, and I respect that.

While the claim alleges an important disagreement, I believe that the faculty, administration and Board are committed to our shared mission of providing the highest quality liberal arts education in a diverse and inclusive setting.

The process to carefully resolve this dispute may take time, and Vassar cannot discuss the matter in any depth due to pending litigation. I believe we are a community that can disagree and still

work together on our shared mission. We have much in common, and together, we provide a remarkable experience for students, faculty, administrators and staff.

Please reach out if you wish to talk more about how best to hold our learning community together and advance our educational and research efforts during this time. I look forward to diligently working with all parties to reach a fair and thorough resolution in due course.

Elizabeth H. Bradley President, Vassar College

Letter to the Editor: Professors speak on President’s response

To the Editor,

First, we want to thank The Miscellany News for the thoughtful, careful report of the class action gender discrimination lawsuit brought against Vassar by five of our colleagues on their own behalf and on behalf of a class of female full professors. The article was factual, balanced and extremely clear.

We also write to respond to President Bradley’s recent “Letter to the Editor,” which appears to misstate the role of faculty-led committees in setting faculty salaries. The role of the Faculty Appointments and Salary Committee, to which President Bradley refers, is set forth in our governing documents (FASC, see The Governance, pp. 5051 online version). Quite plainly, FASC does not set starting salaries and has no knowledge of individual faculty salaries at all. Even with respect to merit reviews, FASC merely makes descriptive (not monetary) recommendations (Faculty Handbook beginning on p. 105, online version), such as “distinction” and “high merit,” but the Dean of Faculty and the President have the power to override merit recommendations and have done so in the past.

The fact that the faculty themselves participate in reviews in no way absolves the College of responsibility for discriminatory pay practices that result from starting pay, salary increases, delayed promotions or biased reviews. In particular, although the research literature confirms that the evaluation of scholarship and teaching such as performed here are subjective and prone to gender discrimination, the College has ignored this bias and resisted our efforts to correct it. In fact, for the past year and a half, FASC has worked tirelessly with other faculty committees to explore more equitable alternatives to the College’s current practice. Re-

gardless, to suggest that female faculty are less deserving of equal starting pay, pay raises or promotions because they have simply regularly underperformed relative to male colleagues is more than unfortunate.

Finally, we thank the many students, alumnae/i, faculty and staff who have reached out to us regarding this issue. The 41 female full professors (including the five plaintiffs) who actively support this lawsuit now (and the many more who have attempted to resolve these issues over many years) have been dedicated to Vassar. We remain firmly committed to our teaching, scholarship and artistic activity, and service to the College. As this new academic year unfolds, we eagerly embrace these pursuits and look forward to working with the College to reach its full potential as a leader on issues of equity and inclusion.

Eve D’Ambra, Former chair, FASC, Professor of Art

Leslie C. Dunn, Current chair, FASC, Professor of English

Natalie Priebe Frank, Former chair, FASC, Professor of Mathematics and Statistics

Lizabeth Paravisini-Gebert, Former chair, FASC, Professor of Hispanic Studies

Peipei Qiu, Former chair, FASC, Professor of Chinese and Japanese

Kathleen M. Susman, Former chair, FASC, Professor of Biology

Denise A. Walen, Former chair, FASC, Professor of Drama

Yu Zhou, Former chair, FASC, Professor of Geography and Earth Science

Abigail A. Baird, Professor of Psychological Science

Pinar Batur, Professor of Sociology

Nancy Bisaha, Professor of History

Giovanna Borradori, Professor of Philosophy

Gabrielle H. Cody, Professor Emerita of Drama

Rebecca Edwards, Professor of History

Rachel D. Friedman, Professor of Greek and Roman Studies

Katherine Hite, Professor of Political Science

Jean M. Kane, Professor of English

Sarjit Kaur, Professor of Chemistry

Eileen Leonard, Professor Emerita of Sociology

Jenny Magnes, Professor of Physics

Kirsten M. Menking, Professor of Earth Science

Seungsook Moon, Professor of Sociology

Lydia Murdoch, Professor of History

Uma Narayan, Professor Emerita of Philosophy

Molly Nesbit, Professor of Art

Laura Newman, Professor of Art

Nancy Jo Pokrywka, Professor of Biology

Margaret L. Ronsheim, Professor of Biology

Miriam Rossi, Professor Emerita of Chemistry

Jill S. Schneiderman, Professor of Earth Science

Shona Tucker, Professor of Drama

Michele M. Tugade, Professor of Psychological Science

Eva Woods Peiró, Professor of Hispanic Studies

Susan Zlotnick, Professor of English

Vassar lawsuit calls campus community to action

Britt Andrade Columnist

Vassar College is being sued for gender-based wage inequality. Yes, you read that correctly. This historically women’s college, an institution that prides itself on diversity, equity and inclusion, is being sued for not paying its women professors at a comparable rate to their masculine-inclined counterparts. There are several things I would like to say about this topic, which I will cover more in depth later in my article, but here is the summary.

First, I am not surprised. Women across almost every industry have been saying for decades that they are underpaid, so while upsetting, this is just further evidence that women’s voices are not heard without a litigation megaphone.

Second, I love this school and its community, so I am hopeful that the Board of Trustees will get its act together and correct this problem. If they do not, I certainly hope that the students, faculty, staff and alumnae/i community will make their opinions heard.

Third, if our professors are facing wage discrimination and being underpaid, what does that mean for everyone else who works on this campus? How does pay compare in every other aspect of the campus?

Fourth and finally, this is not only a Vassar College issue. This is a product of a society that undervalues women and penalizes us for being mothers and workers while simultaneously demanding every inch of

our labor with a smile, including in higher education. This is a systemic problem that is on the Vassar news cycle now but could move anywhere in the country next. To prevent this from continuing, it is going to take more than Vassar fixing its pay scales. But Vassar is as good a place to start as any.

When I said I was not surprised, here is why. According to Pew Research, the gender pay gap in the United States is barely closing. In 2022, women still earned on average 82 cents to every dollar earned by men. When compared to the 80 cents in 2002, that shows an increase of a mere two cents. I do not believe one tenth of a cent per year qualifies as progress. Women are shown to begin their careers closer to wage equity with men, but that minimal pay gap increases as they age and progress through the workforce. This pay gap remains even though women today are more likely than men to be college-educated. In fact, education means almost nothing when the pay gap between college-educated women and men is no smaller than the one between women and men who do not have a college education.

In higher education, the pay gap continues to match the national average, with women professors earning roughly 82 cents for every dollar their male counterparts earn, according to the American Association of University Professors’ annual faculty compensation survey. In fact, the average salary for full-time women faculty at higher education institutions in 20212022 was $92,787, while the average salary

for men in this field was $113,331. Women are also consistently underrepresented in authority positions in higher education.

“According to Pew Research, the gender pay gap in the United States is barely closing. In 2022, women still earned on average 82 cents to every dollar earned by men.”

Only one out of three college presidents is female, according to the College and University Professional Association for Human Resources. Vassar has a woman as President of the College, so go us. A little more than one third of college governing board members nationwide are women, the Association of Governing Boards of Universities and Colleges has found. By the way, ten of the current 21 members of the Vassar Board of Trustees are women, so we are doing well, comparatively speaking. And a quarter of women working for colleges say their gender has hurt their career progression, according to Gallup research.

I could go on for pages and pages about this. We could discuss the societal reality that as women become mothers, they are more likely to be passed over for raises, promotions and workplace responsibilities while the opposite is true for fathers. In

fact, fathers work more hours than their child-free counterparts. You can look it up. According to Pew Research, it is called the Fatherhood Wage Premium, a very real reality that fathers make more money than both mothers and child-free women in the workforce. We could discuss how child care is astronomically expensive, often forcing the parent with the lowest salary to work less or not at all under the guise of saving money, thus continuing the cycle of undervaluing women and their labor. According to the American Association of University Women this phenomenon is called the motherhood penalty. We could consider that if the majority of the women faculty are supporting the members of the lawsuit, they are probably not the only ones being underpaid and undervalued on this campus. Like I said, pages of this. I am not sure what is going to happen in this lawsuit. Frankly, I hope the plaintiffs win or Vassar corrects the issue out of court. Though I know that if they do, Vassar will have to figure out where the money will come from, and it will probably be from us. But I do think we should all be asking, if this is how my professors are being treated now, at this historic institution of higher education, then how will I be treated in the future workforce? This lawsuit is about our futures as much as it is about the women faculty of this College. If we do not demand better now, if we do not support and fight and protest for change now, then 25 years from now, we will be the ones suing.

NFL season begins with high drama

Henry France Guest Columnist

From the moment the confetti fell at State Farm Stadium in Glendale, Arizona, and the Kansas City Chiefs emerged victorious over the Philadelphia Eagles, winning their second Super Bowl in five years, the interim was almost immediately anything but uneventful. From record-breaking contracts to blockbuster signings, this past offseason teed up the 103rd NFL season to be unlike any other. Now, this season boasts both new powerhouses excited to show what they can do and established organizations anxious to finally take home the Lombardi trophy, ongoing contract negotiation dramatics, and rookies ready to make a splash.

When Week One finally arrived, it did not disappoint. On Thursday night, the Detroit Lions spoiled the Kansas City Chiefs’ Super Bowl celebration at Arrowhead Stadium. While Lions Head Coach Dan Campbell said he expected his team to win, not many outside of the Lions organization did. The first game of the season was evidence that as great as Patrick Mahomes is, he cannot do it all for the Chiefs, who were without tight end Travis Kelce and defensive tackle Chris Jones—two of the best players in the league at their respective positions. Still, the Chiefs had a chance to win, but they let it slip away, primarily through the hands of wide receiver

Kadarius Toney, who failed to make numerous important catches that should be routine for an NFL wideout. With no clear favorite, the Lions could make some noise in the available NFC North.

After the Thursday night preview, Sunday finally came around, marking the real start to the NFL season. The first slate of games began rather uneventfully, but gained momentum, producing a good afternoon of football. The Washington Commanders squeaked by at home, beating the Arizona Cardinals 20-16 to start off their first season under new owner Josh Harris with a win. Hidden behind the deceptive scoreline is a struggling Washington squad that got sacked six times and had to pull from behind after going into the fourth quarter down 16-10 against a team that is expected to finish amongst the worst in the league.

The San Francisco 49ers came out firing with a 30-7 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers. They demonstrated that they are a definite Super Bowl contender and showcased an array of weapons on offense, which was led by the wide receiver duo of Brandon Aiyuk—who scored two touchdowns—and Deebo Samuel. The defense was suffocating and posted five sacks and two interceptions. The Steelers, on the other hand, need to shape up—head coach Mike Tomlin put it best, saying that his team “got kicked in the teeth,” after struggling to generate momentum, converting on only

about 30 percent of third downs and achieving their first first down with just two minutes left in the first half. It is safe to say the Steelers have some early-season soul searching to do after this one.

In New Orleans, the Saints edged past the Tennessee Titans, winning by a single point in an uneventful and clumsy game. There was a single touchdown in this game—a 19yard pass from Derek Carr—with the rest of the points coming from eight field goals. But, amid the offensive darkness, there was some reason for optimism for each team. For the Titans, Derek Henry is still a beast, capable of stiff arming defenders into the nosebleeds, and for the Saints, second-year receiver Chris Olave showed promise, posting eight catches for 112 yards. The Saints have just three games to go before their All-Pro running back Alvin Kamara comes back swinging, and it couldn’t come soon enough.

The later half of Sunday produced five noteworthy matchups.

The Miami Dolphins and Los Angeles Chargers put on a show, combining for 70 points in a game that came down to the wire and showing that both teams have firepower on offense and need some work on defense. The Dolphins took a two-point lead with 1:45 to play on Tyreek Hill’s second touchdown of the evening (part of his 11-catch, 215-yard night), but Justin Herbert’s Chargers could not make anything happen on their final

possession, getting sacked twice on the drive. Despite the loss, the Chargers look very good—Herbert is solid and their weapons are performing. Now they must perform when it matters most.

The Chicago Bears fell to the Green Bay Packers—their interdivisional rival. In a game meant to crown the next great franchise quarterback in the NFC Central after Aaron Rodgers’ departure to New York, Green Bay’s Jordan Love stepped up. My Chicago-native roommate Casey McMenamin ’26 put it best, saying that “every year [he] is hurt, every year.” This year now looks set to be no different for McMenamin. Sky-high expectations for Chicago quarterback Justin Fields, the loser for the battle of the crown that Love won, and upgrades at nearly every position made the Bears seem poised to succeed. But it now looks like McMenamin will instead witness his 11th below .500 season in his lifetime. On the other hand, Love was masterful, throwing for 245 yards with three touchdowns and zero interceptions—he looks legit.

Week One of the NFL was all about expectations. Meeting them, beating them and whatever the Bears did. This NFL season has a plethora of contenders and only a handful of really bad teams. There are playmakers on almost every roster, and after Week One, almost any underdog can catch momentum and make a splash, if the Detroit Lions beating the champs at home taught us anything.

Nebraska women’s volleyball breaks world record

Nick Villamil Sports Editor

Last week, the scene at the University of Nebraska’s Memorial Stadium seemed rather familiar.

As “Sirius”—the Alan Parsons Project hit popularized by Michael Jordan’s Chicago Bulls—played, all attention was on the large stadium display screens where the Nebraska Cornhuskers could be seen exiting their locker room and walking toward the field. A closed door with a large red Nebraska logo that the team would soon emerge from and faux subtle smoke circulating around it seemed to taunt anticipating fans who understood just how close their summer-long wait was to ending.

To many, the end of summer means the return of college football, which is traditionally one of the greatest sources of school and state pride in the United States. In Nebraska, one of 13 states with no major professional sports franchises, the arrival of their collegiate team means all the more. Every fall, they flock to the stadium and electrify it with palpable excitement as they await the grand entrance of their favorite team.

But in this instance, the school and state pride that emanated from the stadium was not for men’s football—it was for Nebraska’s women’s volleyball team.

Volleyball Day in Nebraska, the groundbreaking sporting event announced at the end of last volleyball season with the goal of shattering all kinds of attendance records, had finally arrived.

By the time the first serve was put in play, the sea of red Nebraska apparel was 92,003 fans strong—strong enough to set a world record for attendance at a women’s sporting event, the record for attendance at a NCAA volleyball match and the Memorial Stadium attendance record.

The event was the ultimate celebration of the tremendous legacy of success Nebraska volleyball has enjoyed in 23 years under head coach John Cook, one that has the Cornhuskers perennially ranked among the top five

programs in the country. Usually, the team plays in a facility that seats over 13,000 fans— pretty standard capacity for major college volleyball or basketball—and there is never a seat to spare.

While Nebraska has not won a national championship in football since 1997, the women’s volleyball program most recently won a national championship in 2017 and often appears in the Final Four. Volleyball Day in Nebraska made it clear that Cornhusker fans had taken notice.

Of course, the support extending to such a historic venue was to an extent expected— an athletic program cannot risk announcing such an ambitious production without knowing it will succeed to a certain level. But that should not take away from all that is special and right about nearly five percent of Nebraska’s population crowding in to enjoy a sporting event, not because of tradition or stereotype, but because a team’s sustained success merited it. The event produced peak collegiate athletics pageantry and did so for all of the right reasons.

Perhaps the most impressive aspect of the match was that it was not a major showdown between two powerhouses. It was a match that Nebraska won three sets to zero without conceding more than 14 points in a single set against a team that is currently winless on the season.

If Nebraska women’s volleyball was able to garner a record-breaking crowd for a game of such minor consequence, who is to say similar iterations will not be produced by others?

By putting on such a spectacle, Nebraska has put pressure on their major competitors to match them in some way. Prior to Volleyball Day in Nebraska, the University of Wisconsin’s women’s volleyball team held the record for attendance at a women’s volleyball game at 16,833. With that record now crushed, Wisconsin and other major programs like defending-champion Texas are forced to be creative in similar ways to not fall behind Nebraska. Recruiting, which is of the utmost importance in major collegiate sports, enters the picture here. For as much as the

best programs in the country are so because of their coaches and training, their success also hinges on the level of talent they are able to bring in.

With all eyes now on Nebraska, the ball is

now in their competitors’ court. How the next evolutions of the historic Volleyball Day take form remains to be seen. One thing is for certain, though: It will be great for all sports in the United States.

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By Sadie Keesbury

The Miscellany Games Category Match

WORD BANK

CATEGORY MATCH INSTRUCTIONS

In the word bank to the right, there are 16 words that belong to four categories. Each word belongs to only one category. You don’t know which words belong together, nor do you know what the categories are! Try to find similarities between them, and place them into four categories below. Answers (which words belong together, as well as the categories they belong to) will be revealed in next week’s issue. Have fun!

Example category:

1: Toyota Car Models: COROLLA PRIUS TACOMA HIGHLANDER

RICE BASEBALL NEW ENGLAND COWBOY SPELT FERRY BARD BOWLER BEANIE RYE SWIFT BARLEY COLGATE STRONG WHEAT UNION

Unscramble each word, and then use the circled letters to fill in the blanks of their corresponding number to find the answer to the final prompt.

Answers to last week’s puzzle:

“Tweet Tweet”

By Sadie Keesbury