Misc.09.19.24

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The Miscellany News

September 19, 2024

Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866

Off-campus incident results in police presence near TAs

On the evening of Sept. 11, a traffic stop on Main Street in the city of Poughkeepsie spilled into Vassar’s campus when the car’s operator led police on a chase to Terrace Lane, according to a Sept. 17th memo from the New York State Police.

According to the memo, Daquan Jahan Killian, 36, of Poughkeepsie, was driving a 2012 Toyota Highlander when New York State Police, in conjunction with Poughkeepsie and Dutchess County Police, initiated a traffic stop for violations of vehicle and traffic law. Upon arriving at Terrace Lane, Killian, as well as their passenger, an unnamed 16-year-old, fled on foot and were apprehended in the nearby area without incident, the memo read.

Carrie Lewis ’26 was walking with a friend at around 6:40 p.m. near the Manchester Gate area when they paused to observe a family of deer. In a written correspondence, Lewis recalled, “Suddenly, the deer got very nervous and started to run away, causing us to move closer to the edge of the road, but not fully off it, and we were planning to start walking up toward the [Terrace Apartments (TAs)]. But then, we heard this really loud scraping noise coming from the Manchester Gate entrance, alerting us to a blue SUV that was barreling down the road right at us.”

Lewis continued: “Immediately after this

occurred, another car passed us, a smaller gray one that also came speeding towards us, and followed the blue car that had gone up to the TAs.” Lewis and her friend safely avoided the vehicles, and upon hearing police sirens, returned to her dormitory. Police investigators later confirmed that the first car seen by Lewis was Killian’s Toyota, and that the second car was likely an undercover

police car.

The Miscellany News spoke with Anna Kozloski ’25 [Disclaimer: Kozloski is a columnist for The Misc] about her encounter with a suspect. “It was like around 6:40 and I was exiting out the lower entrance door of my TA,” Kozloski began. “I turned left onto the gravel path towards the TA bridge, I heard someone screaming at me behind me, and then I turned around and I took my headphones off, obviously, and then I realized it was a man with a gun who was screaming at me to get the f--- back inside,” she continued. Kozloski explained that she slowly retreated into her residence and alerted two of her housemates, Tianyu Xiong ’25 and Liam Hilton ’25.

The person seen by Kozloski, however, is not confirmed to be a suspect. In a follow-up meeting on Tuesday, Sept. 17, Associate Dean of the College for Residential and Wellness Luis Inoa told Kozloski that the man she encountered was likely a plainclothes police officer, given the time at which she filed her report. In a written correspondence to The Misc, Kozloski wrote: “This was not at all clear to me at the time because he was not wearing a uniform and never announced to me that he was with the police.”

The Misc also spoke with Xiong about his actions following Kozloski’s warning. “I remember basically saying, ‘Okay, so we should stay on the upper level of the house

and probably away from the windows.’” As they waited, Kozloski called Vassar’s Campus Response Center (CRC), and the respondent said the office had already been notified of the ongoing situation.

Director of Campus Safety Arlene Sabo responded to a request for further information on the timeline of the events that unfolded. In an email correspondence, Sabo wrote, “Campus Safety was alerted to the police activity on campus at around 6:45 p.m. and immediately dispatched officers to the area. Calls from both the local police (Town of Poughkeepsie Police who were called to assist the New York State Police) and on campus witnesses came within seconds of each other.” Students were officially notified of police activity in the area via a phone call and email blast sent at 7:34 p.m.

Describing the conclusion of the vehicular chase, Sabo wrote, “A specific fact that might be helpful for people to know is that the driver of the car was caught immediately and it wasn’t until a subsequent search of the car that a gun was found.” She continued, “The second individual police were searching for was located by police a distance from campus around 7:50 p.m. Once confirmation of this was certain, a second alert was sent notifying the campus and a summary was then emailed to the campus after that.” The alert was officially lifted via email and text at 8:06 p.m., and the follow

See POLICE on page 3

Green New Deal policy architect delivers climate lecture

Last Thursday, Sept. 12, the folding seats of Rockefeller Hall 300 were filled to capacity by students and faculty members, including President Bradley, in eager anticipation of the evening’s speaker: nationally recognized climate policymaker and current senior fellow at the Roosevelt Institute, Rhiana Gunn-Wright. Her talk, “Why the Climate Movement Must be a Movement for Justice,” proved to be an assertive amalgamation of her years of experience addressing racial injustice alongside the effects of climate change. She focused on underserved communities across the U.S. and combating these issues through nationwide legislation.

The event’s chief organizer, Professor Jeffrey Seidman of the Philosophy and Environmental Studies Departments, spoke first to the bustling audience. He outlined the breadth of Gunn-Wright’s accomplishments, including her work as a chief policy architect for the United States’ Green New Deal (GND). Seidman discussed GunnWright’s contributions and their impact, not only on national-level policies like the misleadingly named Inflation Reduction Act passed by Congress in 2022, which included investments in areas such as clean energy and emissions reduction to fight climate change, but also at the state and lo-

cal level. In New York, this influence can be found in New York’s Climate Leadership and Community Protection Act.

Gunn-Wright took her place behind the podium and began with an acknowledgment of the “broad coalition” of people she collaborated with on the GND and the historical and international iterations that came before she led as chief architect. Gunn-Wright also acknowledged the political context in light of an election year, warning that the act of compromise, often fallen back on in her field, usually involves sacrifices that we as a nation cannot afford to make. These sacrifices, she continued, fuel systemic white supremacy and racism. In government, these harmful ideologies block policy makers’ ability to create laws that would help communities disproportionately impacted by a changing climate and lack of investment.

With such complicated issues, she offered (and demonstrated in a following Q&A session with the audience) a relatively simple first step: conversation. Speak about injustices aloud as they appear, and do not take objectivity of those in power for granted.

Growing up in Englewood, a neighborhood on the South Side of Chicago, GunnWright experienced first-hand impacts of environmental inequity. High levels of PM2.5, a particle released into the atmosphere by nearby fossil fuel combustion,

Guest columnist Zahara Goldkin shares her experience studying ecology in Panama. 7 FEATURES Inside this issue

The first debate between Harris and Trump happened last week: What did Vassar students and professors think?

made asthma common for kids in her community. Gunn-Wright developed the condition during childhood and continued experiencing ongoing health issues for the rest of her life. Englewood also suffered from major underinvestment in the wake of both the crack epidemic of the 1980s and 1990s, and white flight—the wide-scale emigration of white residents from the neighborhood. She described feeling a sense of “disposability,” no longer guaranteed her health and safety in the place where her mother grew up as a result of broken laws that prioritized business interests over the people in her community and chalked it up to the “greater good.”

“Having someone use you like that is no great honor,” said Gunn-Wright. Motivated by these childhood experiences and a feeling of disconnect she had when first learning about the climate crisis while in college, Gunn-Wright hoped to prove that dealing with climate change is not just a matter of far-off polar bears and coral reefs, and its solution can not simply be a reduction in emissions or changing energy sources. It is about making policy with the people who are most affected in mind, specifically African-American and other minority communities often overlooked by the government.

CLIMATE on page 6

NCAA DIII Track and Field national champion Haley Schoenegge discusses her rapid rise to athletic stardom.

Maryam Bacchus, Nicolas Villamil Managing Editor, Senior Editor
See
Image courtesy of Sydney Jones ‘28.
Nicolas Villamil/The Miscellany News.

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CORRECTION POLICY

Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.

Traffic stop escalates to police presence on Terrace Lane

up email by Emergency Management Lieutenant Gary Hulbert was disseminated at 8:58 p.m.

Students expressed mixed feelings about the response from Campus Security, specifically regarding the timeline of notification between the events that unfolded.

“The most concerning part of this all was that at roughly 6:45 [p.m.], Anna was yelled at [by] a man with a gun, then it wasn’t [until] 7:34 [p.m.] when we heard anything from Vassar, and finally at 8:58 [p.m.], we received the email saying the man was in police custody,” Hilton wrote in a statement to The Misc

Kozloski commented, “Reflecting on it, like the most stressful aspect of that was the period after where we were just in our house locked in and we didn’t know what to do. And like, they also didn’t send an email until almost an hour after that had happened.” She added, “Me and my friends were kind of freaking out and just trying to text everyone who especially…lived in the TAs or in that area, like, ‘Look, this just happened. Like, please stay inside and pass this message on to anyone else that you think might be affected by this.’”

Lewis recounted calling CRC the subse-

quent day with follow-up questions. She was connected with local investigators at the police station for a further explanation. “Campus Security responded quickly to our efforts, but we did follow up the next day instead of during the action, so I’m not sure if it had been different if we had called earlier,” she wrote.

An investigation determined that Killian and their passenger were in illegal possession of a 9mm Glock model 43 handgun, the memo said.

Both subjects were charged with two felonies and two misdemeanors, including Criminal Possession of a Weapon in the 2nd degree, a class C felony. Killian was arraigned before the City of Poughkeepsie Court and remanded to the Dutchess County Jail without bail, and the sixteen-yearold was turned over to their guardian, the memo said.

On Thursday, Sept. 12, 2024, The Misc saw a police officer and two additional individuals with a canine unit in the brushfilled area below the TAs where the incident occurred the day prior. Regarding this search, Sabo wrote, “The day after the incident police did a cursory check of the area to look for a cell phone. There are no outstanding investigatory actions.”

Vassar community reacts to presidential debate

Sept. 10 marked the second debate of the 2024 presidential campaign season and the first between Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Donald Trump. The debate took place at the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; there was no live audience, but over 67 million viewers tuned in, including Vassar students at watchparties across campus.

After the first presidential debate in June, President Joe Biden struggled to finish arguments and defend his presidential record; many have speculated that the widespread backlash resulted in Biden ending his run for reelection and endorsing Harris as the new Democratic nominee.

Professor of Political Science Richard Born said, “I had more reservations about Harris and her ability to perform well than I should have. I thought, basically, she’d hold her own. It wouldn’t be a disaster like Biden versus Trump, but I thought she was really impressive.”

A student who watched the debate, Saskia Stripling ’28, expressed similar sentiments: “I kind of expected it to be more chaotic than it was, because I remember the one from four years ago where they were like, yelling at each other, and no one turned off the mics, and it was just chaos,” she said. “So I was impressed that Kamala was just laughing the whole time.”

Students at a debate watch party in Jewett House responded well to some of Harris’ more biting quips. When, early in the night, Harris asserted, “Tonight, you’re going to hear from the same old, tired playbook,” students responded with a cascade of “oohs” and snaps.

To Born, Harris’ greatest liability was the fact that nobody knew much about her: a perennial problem for vice presidents running for chief executive. Born thought Harris had overcome this, showcasing herself as smart and articulate. “They can now see her as a realistic, decent president,” he commented.

Born stated a secondary liability of Harris’ is that she is known from her senatorial days as being liberal. Trump stressed this

point multiple times in the debate, calling his opponent a “Marxist” and a “radical left liberal.” Born elaborated, “She’s just got to convince people she’s more centrist.” It is much more important, he added, for Harris to convince voters she is not too liberal than to appear to lack fixed principles. Harris repeatedly and strongly endorsed fracking—possibly an appeal to voters in Pennsylvania, the debate’s location and a swing state that will help decide the election. “The fracking thing was crazy,” said Stripling, but noted that there was essentially nothing Harris could have done to lose her vote. “I’m not gonna vote for Trump,” she said. Born thought Harris’ strong support for fracking could only be beneficial: No voter would leave her over it, and it might bring some Pennsylvanians to her side.

In Michigan, another key swing state, Harris’ attempts at centrism may have the opposite effect. Michigan has one of the United States’ largest Arab American populations; Dearborn, a suburb of Detroit where over 50 percent of the population identified as Arab American or North African in the 2020 census, has been a hotspot of pro-Palestinian protest as the Israel Defense Forces have killed over 41,000 Palestinians and wounded over 95,000 in its assault on Gaza.

While Harris called for a ceasefire, the return of hostages to Israel and a two-state solution, she was also staunchly pro-Israel. The Vice President stated, “I will always give Israel the ability to defend itself, in particular as it relates to Iran and any threat that Iran and its proxies pose to Israel.”

Born noted, “Even though she’s expressed more sympathy for the Gazans than Biden, you know, some of them [Michiganders] will not vote for her.”

Students also noticed the candidates’ equivocations. During a particularly long response from Harris about conservative shifts in her policy since 2020, multiple students at the Jewett House watch party yelled versions of “She’s not answering the question!” at the screen in exasperation. Stripling agreed: “They never answered the

questions… Both of them, just in different ways.”

Vassar students interviewed by The Miscellany News also distinguished a weakness of Trump’s not shared by Harris. “He is simply incoherent,” commented Julia Fallon ’28, of Trump’s performance. Stripling agreed: “He was talking about nothing the whole time.”

According to Born, Harris’ strongest moments were when she goaded Trump into making himself look bad. “She basically got Trump to self-destruct. She tore him apart,” he stated.

One example of this was when Trump, while discussing immigration, said, “In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs. The people that came in, they’re eating the cats, they’re eating—they’re eating the pets of the people that live there.” Harris looked on, laughing. Moderator David Muir corrected the record, noting that the city manager of Springfield, Ohio, had clarified there were no credible reports of immigrants harming, injuring or abusing pets.

Born and Vassar students interviewed by The Miscellany News largely seemed to think the debate will not have a strong impact on the election results. “I don’t think the numbers are going to change much,” said Joaquim Ross ’28. “People already know what side they’re on.” Stripling believes that the debate would not convince undecided voters to vote for either side. “I think everyone would be confused watching that debate,” she said, “because it didn’t really make any sense.” Ted Twit ’28 disagreed, saying, “I think young voters are going to abandon her more than she thinks.”

This November will be most Vassar students’ first opportunity to help elect a new president. Students looking to vote in the election can register in their home state or in Dutchess County with their Vassar address. Students voting in their home state at Vassar must request a mail-in ballot to their Vassar mailbox; students voting in Dutchess County can vote by mail or on campus in the AULA on Nov. 5 from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. For voting information, visit Vassar’s “Civic Engagement – Vassar Votes” page.

Julian Balsley Guest Reporter
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
Nicolas Villamil/The Miscellany News.

Sabrina Carpenter rises as new princess of pop

Look out, world, the music industry has a new pop powerhouse! Sabrina Carpenter first entered public consciousness in the early 2010s, known for playing Maya Hart in the Disney Channel series “Girl Meets World.” Her popularity skyrocketed in 2022 with the release of her hit songs “Nonsense” and “Feather.” This past August, Carpenter dropped her sixth studio album, “Short n’ Sweet,” and in the album’s first week alone it landed itself on the Billboard 200 with 362,000 first-week units. All 10 newly-released tracks joined singles “Espresso” and “Please Please Please” on the top half of Billboard’s Hot 100; Carpenter is definitely having her moment right now, and as a longtime fan, I am here for it.

If I were to summarize the overarching themes of “Short n’ Sweet,” I would say that the album expresses Carpenter’s sexuality and the highs and lows of trying to find love in our time. Like many other former child stars—Miley Cyrus, Olivia Rodrigo and JoJo Siwa, to name a few—Carpenter seems to be making a concerted effort to distance herself from her childhood image and come across as more grown-up, and the raunchiness of her songs “Taste” and “Bed Chem” do just that. The album also includes a great deal of wordplay, which is something that Carpenter became known for while opening for Taylor Swift on “The Eras Tour”; in each city she played, she would change the outro of her song “Nonsense” to include puns about that city.

The album’s first track, “Taste,” serves as a strong opening, with its edgy, almost rock-

like qualities and opening line of, “Oh, I leave quite an impression / five feet, to be exact.” Many have speculated that the song is about Carpenter’s fellow musicians Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello, who were in a relationship from 2019 to 2021. In April 2023, the pair were reportedly spotted making out at Coachella, but not before Mendes dated Carpenter earlier that year. Indeed, in “Taste,” Carpenter addresses her ex’s new lover (Cabello, it seems), telling her, “Heard you’re back together, and if that’s true / You’ll just have to taste me when he’s kissing you.” The song’s music video, which is inspired by the 1992 dark comedy “Death Becomes Her,” centers around a bloody battle between Carpenter and the actress Jenna Ortega that ends in them killing the man they were fighting over and getting together in the end. The video has taken the internet by storm, amassing over 60,000,000 views on YouTube.

For most people, the song that has become synonymous with the “Short n’ Sweet” era is the album’s lead single, “Espresso.” Carpenter released “Espresso” last April, and it is now the most listened-to song in her discography with over 1.2 million streams on Spotify. With its catchy beat and clever lyrics, “Espresso” checks all the boxes for a pop hit, which is exactly what it became; for a moment in time, the lyrics “That’s that me espresso” and “I’m working late ’cause I’m a singer” were ubiquitous no matter what social media platform you chose to scroll on. Several people have deemed “Espresso” the song of Summer 2024, and I have to agree. Of course, though, I cannot talk about the “Short n’ Sweet” singles without also mentioning “Please Please Please,” which Car-

penter released in early June. In stark contrast to the upbeat vibe of “Espresso,” “Please Please Please” shows a more vulnerable side of Carpenter; though the song is in a major key, which lends itself to a cheerful sound, the rawness of the lyrics create a completely different feeling. In “Please Please Please,” Carpenter addresses her contentious significant other, urging him not to embarrass her, even going so far as to suggest he stay out of the public eye. It is hard to choose a favorite out of these two songs because they are rather incongruous but both fantastic songs in their own right; for instance, while I do enjoy “Espresso” as a hype song, I find the earnest lyricism and emotional depth of “Please Please Please” very compelling as well. All of this is to say, the duality of these two songs is a testament to Carpenter’s incredible range as a songwriter and artist.

When I listened to “Short n’ Sweet” in full for the first time, I found a clear favorite in “Slim Pickins,” the album’s ninth track. While it fits well with the rest of the album thematically—a lament about how hard it is to find a good guy—its sound skews more towards country rather than pop, complete with a banjo and Carpenter singing in what sounds like a Southern drawl. With the increasing popularity of pop artists performing country music, triggered by Beyoncé’s “Cowboy Carter” album, it is not a surprise that Carpenter opted to go country. While “Slim Pickins” is different from her usual sound, Carpenter’s choice to include a folklike ballad on this album was a strong one. I did not notice this until I saw an Instagram reel that pointed it out, but after the line, “The Lord forgot my gay awakening,” Carpenter sampled the notification sound from

Grindr, a popular dating app within the queer community. This goes to show her cleverness and attention to detail.

Just as “Taste” was the perfect track to open the album with, “Don’t Smile,” the final track, ties a ribbon on the album quite nicely. Compared to the other songs on “Short n’ Sweet,” “Don’t Smile” evokes sadness both with its lyrics and sound, bringing to mind the depression associated with the immediate aftermath of a breakup. In the opening lines, Carpenter tells her ex, “Don’t smile because it happened, baby, cry because it’s over / Oh, you’re supposed to think about me every time you hold her.” Coming full circle, this line alludes to Carpenter’s unforgettable nature, a recurring motif in the album.

All in all, “Short n’ Sweet” is an enjoyable listen from start to finish that conjures a whole slew of emotions in the listener. The themes are clear, and given the album’s popularity, it is safe to say that many of Carpenter’s listeners find them relatable. If I were to levy one criticism, it would just be that the order of the songs does not accurately reflect the cycle of falling in and out of love; for example, I might have put “Juno,” which describes the initial feelings of infatuation, higher in the tracklist than “Coincidence,” a song that falls more towards the end of the love cycle as Carpenter addresses a cheating partner. That being said, that may have been an intentional decision on the part of Carpenter, as the process is not always linear. Either way, though, I would easily rate the album a 10 out of 10 and strongly urge you to give it a listen. One thing is for sure— Carpenter was right in “Taste” when she said that she leaves quite an impression.

Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
Aurora Rose Horn Guest Columnist

19, 2024

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard takes flight into new sound

It would be common sense to believe that, by their ninth studio album of the young and crazed 2020s, Australian psychedelic rock outfit King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard would be honing in or continuing their seemingly endless forays into new genres. Their latest release, the expertly and joyfully made “Flight b741,” spits in the face of that thought, instantly standing out of their catalog as not just another building block in these strange Aussies’ journeys, but as a culmination of years of work and experimentation towards a great product. Further, the band launched a tour in which the chemistry developed over their myriad of albums was on full display.

It is not unexpected that King Gizzard would blend genres, but what is unique about “Flight b741” is that the sound throughout all 10 tracks of the project is a consistent and fleshed out combination of various other genres. The best way to describe this sound is psychedelic electric-blues rock, with influences from bluegrass and blues rock on many of the songs. This becomes apparent on the album opener “Mirage City,” which begins with a blaring guitar section before transitioning into a fun ballad with great singing both from singer Stu Mackenzie and backing vocals from the rest of the band.

On that topic, the vocals on this album are not just a bigger part of the songs but

also far more expressive, in comparison to past projects by the band. The call and response on the track “Field of Vision” is one of the most energetic deliveries on the album, perfectly punctuated by the crunchy guitars bobbing in and out of the mix. The emotional lyrics of “Raw Feel” make the track a standout for vocals as well, with a particularly good drum performance and bass line to match. Production as a whole on the album is good, if not muddled at moments as several different instruments layer together. It is both a criticism and endorsement of the album to say that there is a lot going on with nearly every song.

In this respect, the band allows an escape from the seemingly overly perfect standards of music today, with tightly produced synth pop reigning above everyone in a kind of bubblegum chic conformity of happiness. And when you see it firsthand, you really get it.

Across the mix, you can hear battling layered vocals both in the front of the mix and backing. These often evoke a Beach Boys level on tracks such as “Daily Blues” and “Hog Calling Contest,” and it blends well with the groove on the songs. The general vibe divide on this project comes to honkytonk vs. groovy, with tracks such as the lead single “Le Risque” and also “Sad Pilot” being melodic and head-bobbing whereas the chipper guitar on the title track “Flight b7401” and upbeat piano on “Rats In The Sky” evoke a more lighthearted and rustic feel. In both sides of the album though, the harmonica appears as is customary with the band’s projects. And, like many King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard projects beforehand, emotion is a driving force of the music alongside these artistic elements. Nearly everything in “Flight b7401,” from the production to the vocals to the general aesthetic of the album, conjures simple, down-to-earth joy. The album cover is ridiculous, depicting a badly rendered gang of pigs on a three-layered wooden plane heading straight towards the listener. In this way, the cover is actually a perfect example of the ethos and dogma of the project. Yeah, it’s a bit of a mess–yes, it sometimes feels like a lot–but can’t you just sit back and appreciate that it makes you happy? Like the lyrics on “Raw Feel” say, “Can we ever know? / Does it matter if we don’t?” This is a masterfully done album, but it is also dumb. In this respect, the band allows an escape from the seemingly overly perfect standards of mu-

sic today, with tightly produced synth pop reigning above everyone in a kind of bubblegum chic conformity of happiness. And when you see it firsthand, you really get it. I was lucky enough to see King Gizzard perform live a few weeks after the album’s release. It was not being surrounded by an eccentric group of Boston-area residents and the aroma of IPAs, sweat and dispensary marijuana that made the concert, it was just the energy of these songs and the band. The bass line on the title track and the call and response on “Field of Vision” was electric live, shaking the ground and also getting the audience to stand still for a bit after mosh pits to their metal songs left some people with cracked lips. The joy previously discussed was palpable live, and the twisting vocals, drum lines, guitar hooks and ever-present harmonica really put this ethos around “Flight b7401” right in the audience’s face.

To add this album into such an already large and varied discography is quite a feat for any band, but “Flight b741” slides perfectly into King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard’s impressive string of releases without a hitch. The album is one of their most focused projects in its approach, yet also feels laid back and varied. It can be enjoyed after a long day with its calmer, more twangy songs, or create a frenzy with its wilder songs in a live setting. It is a great album, and shows that even with a ridiculous name, the music of King Gizzard is no gimmick.

Back better than ever, The Crane Wives dive into the beyond

The Crane Wives are not new to the world of music. The Michigan-based indiefolk-rock band released their first album, “Safe Ship, Harbored,” in 2011, followed by “The Fool in Her Wedding Gown” (2012), “Coyote Stories” (2015) and “Foxlore” (2016). The group has amassed an adoring crowd of listeners drawn to their incredible talent, boasting three-part harmonies, beautiful lyricism and fantastic storytelling. It is quite clear that guitarists and vocalists Emilee Petersmark and Kate Pillsbury, drummer and vocalist Dan Rickabus and bassist Ben Zito shine together as The Crane Wives. This past June, they dropped “Arcturus Beaming” as a single, teasing the release of their new album on Sept. 6, “Beyond Beyond Beyond.” With its recent release, The Crane Wives wonderfully reminded the world just how powerful they are as musicians, artists and storytellers.

I still get chills whenever I listen to the first track “Scars,” with its haunting vocalizations and deep, heavy bassline. The song—like the album as a whole—takes the listener on a journey of introspection and questioning as the narrator seems to come to terms with a “fatal fault” that pushes them to self-destructive tendencies. The band brings in cellist Jordan Hamilton and violinist Sam Cooper, so as the energy of the track builds, the strings pack a powerful punch. “Bitter Medicine” explores similar themes as the electrifying drums, bass and guitar intertwine with Petersmark, Pillsbury and Rickabus’ harmonies. The lyrics about the narrator adopting a facade are shockingly relatable, and the imagery in the song’s music video only reinforces this; Petersmark drags herself out of bed to take the titular bitter medicine, when sinister arms of black paint-filled balloons attack and leave the band needing

to fight back as they perform. The track ends with a gritty guitar line, only for the tension to be released by the sweet notes of the next song, “Higher Ground,” which has lyrics exploring the aftermath of prioritizing oneself despite not wanting to cause harm to others. The fourth track “Predator” lures you in with Zito’s addicting, spell-like bass line and ensnares you with enchanting vocals and lyrics about becoming aware of toxicity and breaking free from others taking advantage of you. It is immediately followed by the heartbreaking acoustic guitar of “Say It.” The narrator begs the listener, “If it’s over, say it,” and wonders, “If we were to meet as strangers again/ Would you refuse to meet my eyes?” There is a powerful driving beat behind the song, only to break after the bridge and leave the listener in moments of reflection.

In their previous songs such as “The Hand That Feeds,” The Crane Wives have not shied away from exploring anti-capitalist themes in conjunction with canine imagery, which is evident in track six “Mad Dog.” If you have ever felt like all the hard work you do is futile and amounts to nothing, this is the track for you.

Arcturus becomes a beacon of hope for the band in “Arcturus Beaming.” The guitar is almost other-worldly in this song, with lyrics like “Craning my neck, I’m looking up/ I’m grieving all that I gave up” showing a narrator grappling with past pain and trying to move forward despite it. The Crane Wives tell a beautiful tale with this track and the recently released music video only adds to it. The chilling strings of Hamilton and Cooper once again return in “Time Will Change You.” The song begins with metal screeching, the crackling of flames and a simple drum beat before introducing a gritty guitar and hauntingly sweet vocals that urge the listener to reflect on their relationship with time.

The next song, “Black Hole Fantasy,” paints the picture of a narrator who is weighed down by life and the anxiety of the growing black hole in their living room floor, wondering, “If love is just a chemical reaction/ Is there a pill to take? Something to quell this ache?” The story of this song tugs on my heart strings the most, as the lyrics explore a narrative arc in between the choruses, with the narrator contemplating what would happen if they knocked on someone’s door, but leaving their car running because they know they are not going to do it. It has a stunning, satisfying ending that will warm your heart with a bewitching two-minute instrumental ending. The penultimate track “Red Clay” highlights Rickabus’ vocals in a warm folk track. It reassures the listener that life will be scary, but to “Take a deep breath and turn to be brave/ Harvest the fruits of being afraid.” With the soft end of “Red Clay,” the final song “River Rushing” kicks into gear with a ticking-like snare and an almost mysterious

guitar strum soon after. This track is an intriguing way to end the album—its lyrics referencing a crushing pressure that aches to be released with the freeing of a rushing river. The song is high energy and tense. However, relief being the theme of the last song pairs well with the rest of the album, which continuously focuses on confronting inner and outer monsters. Fittingly, “River Rushing” ends abruptly with the dropping of drum sticks, signifying this breaking of tension. As a writer, the storytelling of “Beyond Beyond Beyond” fills my heart and reminds me I am not alone. The Crane Wives have been releasing music for a long time—all drenched in their talent as well as their relatable and gut-wrenching lyrics and imagery—but this album proves they have learned a lot over the years, and that they are back better than ever. If you are a creative, give this album a listen and take a journey with this lovely band to discover what exists beyond, but also what exists within.

Darja Coutts Copy Staff
Image courtesy of Natalie Sang ‘27.

Gunn-Wright encourages students to fight for climate justice

Continued from CLIMATE on page 1

Even in the midst of a frustrating climate space and a policy-making system full of setbacks, she asserted that doing nothing maintains the status quo, one in which fossil fuel companies in the private sector have immense power influencing what goes into the law. People need to “step out of the shadows,” she explained, in order to disrupt the system.

“You cannot solve every problem in the world while keeping the same people in power. You cannot solve every problem in the world while keeping rich white men in power,” said Gunn-Wright. As for how students can get involved with climate justice,

Gunn-Wright assured that although the scale of its concerns can seem intimidating, smaller steps all contribute to pieces of a bigger solution. Gunn-Wright recommended incremental behavioral changes, such as becoming more politically active by advocating in multiple areas and wielding just as much scrutiny towards centrist policies as radical ones, or having flexibility in personal lifestyle by being willing to make day-to-day changes as future policy is enacted.

Gunn-Wright also added that making technical changes in the familiar spaces and communities where you do have power can also make an impact. Here at

Vassar, like at many institutions across the country, there has been a movement for decarbonization spearheaded by students to reduce and eventually eliminate the fossil-fuel-burning currently happening on campus. A petition, inspired by successful decarbonizing efforts in similarly-sized and operated institutions like Smith College, was created in the previous spring semester to demand total decarbonization from the Vassar administration by 2032. This year, Genevieve Reoch ’27, Demetri Sedita ’26 and Julian Gross ’26 are currently working to establish a group on campus centered around Vassar’s decarbonization. In response to a lack of administrative ef-

fort, they hope to provide more opportunities for students to be involved in how our campus is tackling the climate crisis. If you are interested in learning more about this movement, their group can be found on Instagram, @vassar.decarbonization.

In a final message to the student body, and to round out Thursday night’s event, Gunn-Wright emphasized, above all else, the importance of telling the truth—not just when it pertains to the climate or justice, but in every field of study, and even when it feels uncomfortable (or unprofitable) to do so. Telling the truth, GunnWright said, “will not always be easy, but it will always be necessary.”

Amateur hiker visits Awosting Falls

As part of our Welcome Issue, The Miscellany News’ Features section published an article about summer students’ Hudson Valley outings, concluding with the sentiment that, although the academic year has begun, off-campus adventures need not cease. In this spirit of exploration, I joined my friends Eliza Gilbert ’25 and Madi Sandy ’25 on the Awosting Falls hiking trail in Minnewaska State Park.

At 8:00 a.m. on Saturday, Sept. 14, the three of us departed from the THs in Sandy’s Mazda, proud of our joint commitment to convene so early in the morning. Sandy— the only one of us with a driver’s license— drove down Route 44 across the mid-Hudson bridge, adhering to the Englishman’s lilting voice of her GPS. We arrived at New Paltz in under half an hour. Munching on breakfast sandwiches, we admired the many colors of Main Street: the pink door of Vision of Tibet, a Himalayan-inspired craft and clothing store; the purple brick of Likwid, a skateboard shop; the teal awning of Gourmet Pizza, self-explanatory.

After paying a $10 fee, we parked across

from a strip of gender-neutral outhouses. Around us, outdoorsy families fastened their hydration packs and smeared sunscreen on their noses. The gorgeous mid70s weather made for perfect hiking conditions, and we set off, following a path of red diamonds.

For amateur hikers such as Gilbert and myself, the trail was very manageable, spanning just over a mile with an elevation gain of 118 feet. The path is paved with gravel and bends easily along a shallow, pebbly stream. The hike’s crown jewel, a tall waterfall splashing past uncannily geometric stones into a delicious, sparkling pool, is the perfect place to stop and recuperate. Sitting by the edge of the pool, we met an eight-year-old boy with the weary posture of an 80-year-old man. He was clutching the leash of a dog with startling blue eyes. “His name is Sky.”

On the hike, we spoke of many things: our parents’ professions, our siblings; theoretical trips to Bali, New Orleans, Vermont and Peru; where we want to live after graduation; whether or not Gilbert and Sandy will be roommates for the fifth consecutive year after graduation; the weather; my fear of camping; bears; plastic water bottles;

“The Road Not Taken”; “Fantastic Mr. Fox” and especially, our gratitude that this semester, Sandy has a car. “It’s just a complete game-changer for getting out of the Vassar bubble,” Sandy explained.

On the ground, leaves halfway to senescence stared up at us. Their green and red hues bled into one another like watercolor. I chose my footsteps with caution.

I picked a purple flower from the edge of the path, which I later learned from a Google Image search was wild chicory. Sometimes I feel that my caveperson ancestors would be ashamed by my abysmal nature knowledge. We walked by a rusting, centuries-old water pump. I silently thanked evolution for giving me indoor plumbing.

The trail was not particularly crowded, but there were a handful of people, mostly families and bikers in super-tight shorts, milling about. Each and every one of them flashed a warm smile when our paths overlapped, and some even exclaimed, “Good morning!” The casual cheer was touching.

Towards the end of our hike, we passed a sign informing us of the Timber Rattlesnake habitat ahead. “Though rattlesnakes are venomous, they pose no serious threat if left alone,” it read.

“I knew a guy who shot a bullet through the eye of a rattlesnake,” said Gilbert. “I didn’t think rattlesnakes existed in New York,” said Sandy.

After returning to the parking lot, we drove uphill to the Lake Minnewaska Visitor Center, a modern, angular lodge overlooking the water. First opened in 2020, the Visitor Center chronicles Minnewaska State Park’s history, boasting artifacts such as hammers, plugs and feathers from the late 19th century and taxidermied bears, foxes and platypuses encased in display boxes.

The highlight of the Visitors Center is its tree-identification scavenger hunt. At the front desk, Gilbert, Sandy and I each took a paper pamphlet that listed the various trees found around Minnewaska State Park—chestnut oak, pitch pine, sassafras, et cetera. Scattered throughout the Visitor Center were various stamps of each tree’s unique leaves. Our goal was to correctly find and mark our pamphlets. The game is probably meant for junior rangers and girl scouts, of which there were several roaming around the park. We loved it. I slept deeply on the drive back and dreamt of leaves.

Image courtesy of Eliza Gilbert ’25.
Charlotte Robertson/The Miscellany News.

FEATURES

Studying abroad continues in the United States

Studying abroad had been on my mind even before my college search. The colleges I chose to apply to were largely motivated by the availability of study-abroad opportunities. Once at Vassar, I finally chose a program and, earlier this year in January, I flew to Panama. The tropical ecology program with the School for International Training taught me so much in terms of both ecology and life lessons. Since returning to the United States, I have been grappling with what I will take away from my experience in the long term.

While exploring, we learned about the biodiversity of species and the diversity of cultures in Panama. We traveled, saw the sights, and took classes while learning from the environment around us. Panamanian professors taught our classes. My favorite was our amphibian unit, which we had in El Valle de Anton, a huge valley surrounded by mountains. We woke up most mornings to a gorgeous golden mist hanging over our heads. Our research was after dark, when frogs are most active. In groups, we searched for amphibians with headlamps, counting and identifying them.

The coral reef unit was the most impactful. We stayed with the Guna people, an indigenous group whose livelihood centers around the ocean. We took a four-hour bus ride, an hour-long car ride, then an hourlong boat ride to get to Isla Porvenir in Guna Yala. You could walk from one side of the island to the other in less than ten minutes. Here, we studied coral reefs, snorkeling for hours in the clear, warm ocean. We also

munity leader, buy molas (handmade textile art) and talk to Guna marine biologists.

We ended the program with a monthlong research project of our choosing, wherever we wanted to go. I decided to study bird abundance and diversity on Isla Solarte, a small island in the Caribbean Sea. A family welcomed me into their home. I helped on their farm, feeding sheep, collecting eggs and assisting with various projects. They were so kind and I became very close with their kids. I learned so much about food and farming. At the end of the program, the students on the program all returned to Panama City and presented on our projects, then left Panama.

I am back in the United States, having benefited tremendously from my experiences abroad. However, I am left with a feeling of unease about traveling somewhere to learn and research and then simply leaving. It is difficult to become so invested and involved in a place and people only to leave. Reciprocating the open-heartedness and warmth I felt from my homestay families, volunteering on the farm on Isla Solarte and picking up trash in the ocean when snorkeling are a few ways I gave back to Panama when I was there. What I gained, I also gave, though they are impossible to equate.

Less than a month after my program ended, CNN published an article, reporting that over 300 Guna families were forced to move off their islands due to rising sea levels. This was heart-wrenching for me and all the other students on the program. The entirety of Guna Yala is islands or coastal. The Guna call the sea Muu Billi, which means Grandmother Sea. They rely on fish and have a timeless relationship with

to take away who they are and what they know.

This is where our role comes in. As globally-educated college students with the majority of our lives ahead of us, we have the power to initiate change. I am an environmental studies major—I fight for, and will continue to fight for those being harmed by climate change. Keeping my memories of studying abroad close to my heart, I will continue my life back in the United States. I will apply what I learned to my life decisions, with a greater sense of the real impact of climate change. Hopefully I can visit Panama again, but in the meantime, I will cherish what the country taught me.

Image courtesy of Zahara Goldkin ’25.

Five

k-pop songs with enough english for you to sing along to without looking like a big, dumb, monolingual

The Hallyu Wave has arrived and it is here to stay! AAAAAHHHHHH! If you’re just a monoglot who didn’t even know Asian celebrities existed until, like, three years ago, never fear. I have here for you today, five amazing K-pop songs that include enough Korean in their lyrics to signal to others that they’re K-pop songs, as well as enough English to show your classmate Jennifer that you’re not a big, stupid racist who doesn’t know non-American music.

“NewJeans” by New Jeans

What? NewJeans is the name of the song and also the name of the group? You haven’t been this confused since The Weather Girls released “It’s Raining Men.” Did they record it and then name the group? So perplexing… During the parts of “NewJeans” where you would be making your usual racist comments like, “Why do all these girls look and sound the same?” you can instead sing along to the parts that are in English. When you croon, “Look, it’s a new me / Switched it up, who’s this?” you’ll actually be referring

to yourself and your brand new knowledge of K-pop. Just remember that nobody is going to laugh if you refer to yourself as “OldJeans.”

“Boy With Luv” by BTS

Hell yeah, Jin, come be my teacher! Everybody and their stepfathers have heard of BTS. Maybe except for you, who’s still asking questions like, “What does BTS stand for? So they sing and dance at the same time? How is that even possible?!” The secret is that it’s not possible and most k-pop idols lip sync to their music when they perform, but oh my god, I’m totally lying I’m such a BTS anti #BTSPavedTheWay #IPurpleYou #CollectiveConsciousnessRocks. But this song also features Halsey, who you probably know…what? You haven’t heard of Halsey, either? What kind of music do you listen to?

“Gangnam Style” by PSY

The whole world remembers where they were when they saw or heard Gangnam Style for the first time. I myself, was a bright-eyed eight-year-old, just starting to wean myself off of the Disney Channel music of my youth, when my wise father

presented me with the music video. “What beauty is this?” I inquired. “Oh my sweet child,” he replied. “It’s the start of a new millennium.” Gangnam Style is so famous that no one will even notice if you don’t start singing until the chorus when it comes on at a party, and even when it gets to the chorus, no one will even notice your singing because they’ll be too busy trying to do the horse riding dance gracefully and shouting, “Ayyyy, sexy LA-DY!” at the same time. It’s truly the only appropriate time when a group of people can scream, “Ayyyy, sexy LA-DY!” in unison.

“WORK” by ATEEZ

Ignoring the fact that the name ATEEZ sounds like the beginning of a very bad deez nuts joke (i.e. “It seems like you have a very bad case of ateez…ateez nuts!”), the chorus of this song is super catchy and entirely in English. Plus, maybe listening to the lyrics will motivate you to do better in life and improve, especially in regards to making that money, making purse, getting a fur coat and/or giving people whiplash when they see what you earn. If you’re feeling especially cultured, there’s also a quick Span-

dumbass

ish line in this song that you can whip out and use during your sister-in-law’s niece’s quinceañera. If she berates you for giving her a cheap gift, just remind her that you’re not a “ganso que pone huevos de oro.”

“Andromeda” by Mukimukimanmansu

This song is a bit of a “deep cut,” as they say, and you might be wondering, “Nandini, how is this freak-folk song from 2012 about bugs that went viral on Vine going to help virtue-signal to others that I’m not a dense bigot?” Never fear! “Andromeda” will help you out in a different way from the rest of the songs on this list—it’s so avant-garde and out there that people will mostly ask you if you’re okay for playing this on the aux cord instead of criticizing you for your nonexistent language skills. As an added bonus, the chorus is just straight-up screaming with some tasteful brass horns. You can use this time to vent out all your frustrations about your crappy job and sexless marriage. Those around you will just think that you’re a quite passionate singer.

Use these songs today and spice up other people’s perceptions of you!

Philosophy student considers getting a job

As a philosophy major, I’m often asked what I will do with my future degree. This is perfect, given that I love thinking about difficult, near-unsolvable questions that require a great deal of effort to grasp. What even is the true essence of being employed?

Unfortunately, ruminating doesn’t pay the bills, and concerned loved ones are starting to demand answers. Since philosophy students tend to just ask our professors additional questions instead of solving existing problems, creating employment solutions has been rough on my mind. After trudging through the minefields of online job postings with my thinking cap on, I have compiled a list of some jobs fit (and unfit) for my studies. Here are the best and the worst:

The best: Barista

It’s kind of like synthesizing information (drink-order ingredients) based on assumed true premises (your drink order) in order to overcome inherent contradictions present in the given situation (the fact that your customer is back after saying he’d NEVER come back). Philosophers are only bested in this field by film students and [insert field here] studies majors aka aspiring latte artists.

The best: Philosopher king Okay, I’ll admit it, there were no postings for this one. But I’d be perfect for it. Hell, Plato said so in “The Republic.” That’s right, the Plato. The ancient one. Not the children’s modeling compound, Play-Doh™.

The best: Jobless Diogenes is said to have lived in a wine cask on the streets and he still ended up with a Wikipedia page. Who’s to say what constitutes “shelter,” “warmth,” “food” or any of those other societal constructs. As a

featherless biped, I need a lot of free time for the ruthless criticism of everything existing anyways.

The worst: Law school

Everyone thinks philosophy majors are good at this, but the suggestion is just code for “you’re really argumentative and annoying.” Maybe you’ll bite the bullet and do this if you’re considering the “applicability” or “return on investment” related to your degree, but that seems kinda desperate. I mean, what if you get into law school and suddenly a position for philosopher king opens up at Hegel & Horkheimer LLC? You won’t catch me lacking like that.

The worst: Government Philosophy is often recommended for policy types who like to creatively solve society’s most pressing, complicated legislative issues. Unfortunately, this ignores the fact that philosophy is actually about in-

venting new problems, which are to be halfsolved through dubious models and dodgy concepts. What else is there left for us to do if you keep trying to fix everything!

The worst: Professor

The only thing I know is that I know nothing. Sorry guys, class dismissed. Make sure to do that reading for Wednesday.

Conclusion

The possibilities of philosophy seemed endless at one point, but I have to admit that the actual prospects are limited. I mean, who even studies philosophy to get into law school? Oh well, maybe one day they’ll have ThinkedIn for us. We could finally investigate what it really means to get experience on your resume. For now, to quote Wittgenstein, “Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.” I’ll bracket this for later and try to focus on that thought I have due at midnight. Hmm…huh…

“Lord Lentil”

Anna Kozloski

HUMOR

Your roommate is boning the Muppets: A report

Your roommate’s a nice enough person. They’ve got a mini-fridge, a toaster, a box fan and a drinking problem—all the things that at least one of you has to bring. But you’ve been talking with your friend across the hall and it’s becoming increasingly clear that your roommate has a flaw: They’ve been having a Muppet over basically every night, and it’s wreaking havoc on your sleep schedule. Let’s review.

Monday, August 26.

This was the day you met your roommate. They gave off a good first impression. But you’re pretty sure they were eyeing up a sophomore during the Stufel group meal. And that sophomore? Fozzy Bear.

Is that your roommate? On the ping-pong table? With…oh my God, that’s Gonzo. Jesus Christ.

Tuesday, August 27.

When you were writing the roommate agreement form, they refused to include a no-pets clause. They said they planned on, at the very least, having a frog in the room.

Wenesday, August 28.

You came home from the Lantern Walk to find your roommate giving Big Bird a “room tour.” But since when does that require running their hands through his feathers? And why in the dark?

Saturday, September 7.

Davison parties: great vibe. Best drunk basement experience since “The Cask of Amontillado”. But wait—is that your room-

mate? On the ping-pong table? With…oh my God, that’s Gonzo. Jesus Christ. You can’t stay.

At midnight, you were woken up by your roommate. They stumbled in wearing a yellow shirt with chili peppers. You’ve definitely seen it before –on Gonzo.

Sunday, September 8.

You decided to get breakfast with your roommate. They decided to invite Count von Count. They mentioned they were taking two math classes this semester. He mentioned that, as a vampire, this was bedtime for him.

Turns out, he counts when doing the deed. Loudly. You can hear it from the MPR.

Wednesday, September 11. You caught Cookie Monster walking down your hallway. He doesn’t live in your dorm. When you opened the door to your room, your roommate was awkwardly covering up with their blanket. There were crumbs in the bed.

You can’t wait for room changes to open up.

A biweekly update on Vassar dining

THIS A BIWEEKLY MESSAGE FROM GORGONZOLA RAMSEY, PRINCE OF VASSAR DINING:

It’s a new semester and we know you probably have a lot of questions about Vassar Dining right now, such as, ”What the hell is going on with Vassar dining this year?” I’m here to answer that and other profanity-infused questions about each of our illustrious dining options.

Retreat

If you’ve gone to Retreat recently you might have noticed signs for “BOL” and “FYR.” Now mind you, these are not airport codes, but rather separate, distinct food stations competing for your hunger. You might assume that BOL serves things in bowls and that FYR involves flame grills or something and, of course, both of these assumptions would be wrong. I will assure you that neither BOL nor FYR mean anything. With the rampant success of BOL and FYR (those lines are stretching to the Deece these days!), we’re going to be rolling out two new food stations in the Spring titled, “EET” and “YOM,” which both also evoke words while not actually being them. Why SPL words correctly WEN you can just spell them RNG?

At Retreat you might be wondering: how many food items can you take at a time this year? Well, that depends: FYR is a pick-three,

which of course actually means you can pick four items for some reason. Also, remember that BOL is also a pick-three, by which I mean you can only get three items, because BOL=big. Another thing to consider is cereal, which is a pick-three entree, by which I

We’re going to be rolling out two new food stations in the Spring titled, “EET” and “YOM,” which both also evoke words while not actually being them. Why SPL words correctly WEN you can just spell them RNG?

mean you can actually pick five items, because if you get milk with it, the milk and cereal become one entree together. Now, in certain cases, cereal is not a pick-four entree (as in a pick-five meal) if you get any liquid other than milk with it which makes cereal just a side and a normal pick three, by which I mean pick four items. EET will be a pick six (by which I mean pick 30) and YOM will be a classic pick 2.5. Express

In terms of changes at Express, we’ve

dropped the popular “two-entree” option pick three (by which I mean pick four), bringing Express back to its proper level of popularity, which is no popularity, but hey, the chili’s a little better this year. Also, ever since we got hot food back in the form of two pots of soup last year, we’ve considered turning Express into a little soup place with a bunch of different soups everywhere and rebranding it “Soup World,” but that’s just a pipe dream right now. Finally, expanding from our last year’s addition at Express of selling random crap for real-world money that you don’t need, we’re gonna start selling lottery tickets, porno mags and ZYN in early October.

The Bridge Still in the Bridge.

The Deece

The biggest update at the Deece is that we finally gave up on the $885-998 touch-free condiment dispensers and have unceremoniously replaced them with classy, pump-action condiment dispensers. Funeral plans are still in the works. This change was actually something a student predicted two years ago, but it was written for an April Fools edition, so it was really kind of an anti-prediction, if you ask me.

Also, over the summer, our beautiful misshapen wooden tables were glazed shinier than any table you have ever seen in your life, so you can watch your reflection as you eat instead of being alone. Also, you’ve prob-

ably never been told this, but all of the tables can be puzzle-pieced together into a massive hockey rink and now you can finally skate on it!

If you head upstairs at the Deece, you can see our new table layout, which falls right in line with the Vassar’s liberal arts philosophy, as this new table arrangement is way too liberal and way too artsy. And don’t worry guys, we’ll glaze those tables in a week. We get it, change is scary, but we think you will learn to love these over time. We can assure you that whether you’re eating at the Deece, the Bridge, BOL, FYR, YOM, EET or Soup World, Vassar Dining quality will remain consistent throughout the semester.

The biggest update at the Deece is that we finally gave up on the $885-998 touch-free condiment dispensers and have unceremoniously replaced them with classy, pump-action condiment dispensers. Funeral plans are still in the works.

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

OPINIONS

Presidential debate formats need significant retooling

Here are two seemingly oppositional ideas about last week’s debate: It was a hotbed of false and misleading statements, question dodging and blatant disregard of debate etiquette. Another idea: This election cycle has had really good debates, at least on the level of moderation. Vital (and miraculously agreed upon) debate rule changes this election cycle, such as the removal of a live audience and the commitment to turning off candidates’ mics when the other candidate is talking, has produced a calmer atmosphere with less downtime and greater organization. This begs the question, though: If this debate cycle was particularly well executed while also not very good, then what still needs to be improved? A few things need some major rethinking: further commitment to mic cutting, better time management, centering moderator questions and expanding fact-checking.

As much as current Vice President Kamala Harris postured before the debate about wanting mics on the whole time, I think both sides privately acknowledge this to be an inferior state of affairs for both the candidates and the audience. Cutting off mics while another candidate is speaking was an effective step towards eliminating candidates talking over each other, something which has grown rampant in recent cycles, but has yet to affect how candidates treat debate moderators. This includes behaviors like brute-forcing more talking time or generally arguing with the moderator. Here are some basic rules about mic control that I think could alleviate these problems: when a candidate runs out of the time, their mic should soon after be cut off (a sort of discretionary “soon”). When a moderator is fact-checking a candidate,

that candidate’s mic should be off. When the moderator is assessing rebuttals, the candidates’ mics should be off. Candidates should be able to indicate the desire to respond to the other candidate’s statement without needing to verbalize it, such as by raising their hand or pressing a button. Essentially, a candidate’s mic should only be on when they are requested by the moderator to speak.

While keeping better control over mics solves many of my gripes with moderation, clarifications and rethinking of how time is actually managed are important for improving debates. I have heard of a proposed chess clock model for managing time, most notably endorsed by the Annenburg Public Policy Center in 2016, where candidates are given equal time per topic and take turns running down their own clocks, commenting in whatever ways they deem fit. Something about that model, though, just feels too clunky and gamified to me. For one, I think this format could still lead to crosstalk and awkward transition moments when the time is passed to the other candidate. Furthermore, the model also seems to imply that a candidate can take control of the floor at any time and interrupt another candidate. Besides, I see there to be too many strategic implications involving time-saving in this method and an overly rigid insistence on equal time. That being said, I am slightly curious about its potential in a multi-candidate, party-specific presidential debate.

For two-candidate presidential debates, I personally prefer a Major League Baseball pitch clock sort-of format where you have a set amount of time to answer a moderator question, and if you run out of it, you get penalized and your mic gets cut off. That being said, I see potential for a chess clock model in the rebuttal period, where it seems pretty clear that moderators do

not know what the hell to do with it and do not make it abundantly clear how much time is allotted for rebuttals and how many rebuttals are allowed. This has led to candidates far too often saying, “Wait, I need to respond to that!” when moderators clearly wanted to move on. While I think better time management would be huge for better debate moderation, it does not necessarily ensure that candidates will stay on topic. One of my biggest questions after the debate: Why were the moderator questions not on screen? It is clear that candidates often do not attempt to answer the moderator questions that are prompted, and thus the audience might easily forget what the candidate was even asked about. Not including the question itself on screen is devaluing its importance such that the moderator is essentially saying to the candidate, “Ramble about Israel/abortion/immigration/whatever topic for two minutes.” What is the point of moderators asking questions if the live broadcast devalues them so severely? It is not unheard of for debate programs to display questions; sports talk show questions do this all the time (but admittedly with lower stakes). One could go even further and include a quote from the candidate’s response under the onscreen question, either to highlight a point from their response that answers the question or highlight the ways they have obviously avoided answering it, though the subjectivity involved in such quoting is less than ideal.

It is, of course, not new that candidates in a presidential debate avoid answering moderator questions, and it is likely that such an idea would not be successful in changing candidates’ behavior. Still], I would like to see a proactive effort by the network to prioritize questions, instead of having the moderator sheepishly add at the end of a candidate’s response, “Um, actually the question was about ____.”

Another thing that might improve candidate answers is the expansion of live fact-checking. Two surprising moments of live fact-checking did occur during the debate on the topics of *checks notes* eating cats and post-birth abortions, which was a step in the right direction. Live fact-checking could clearly be expanded upon, though. As someone who reads live fact-checking sites during the debate, I often think a lot is missed by the average viewer. What if after each of the two commercial breaks, a brief segment was run that went through important instances of misleading and false claims said by candidates during the debate? That could make a huge difference for the literacy of general debate watchers.

All of these changes across mic control, time management, question prioritization and fact-checking would generate massive improvements on the quality of debate moderating and candidate responses. There are a few concepts I did not address here that also matter—questions like “What if the questions were asked by a non-journalist?” that don’t personally intrigue me, or “What about those weird town hall debates?” (Ken Bone, anyone?), which is too much of a sidetrack to get into here. This by no means a complete look at debate reform, but merely a few ideas to consider.

Lastly, though, I would be foolish to not acknowledge the fact that decisions about debate format require agreements from both candidates and that many of these recommendations are perhaps unrealistic to that end. My real concern about debate moderation is that the 2028 election will potentially backslide on debate rules like having an audience and cutting off mics. And while I will feel great anguish if that is the case in 2028, I will always be able to look back at 2024, and think, “Hey, at least they tried.”

OPINIONS

We should abolish iPad kids

You are sitting at a restaurant trying to enjoy your meal when you hear a piercing scream. The toddler at the next table over has just decided to throw a tantrum, blowing their vocal cords out for the whole restaurant to hear. You sigh in exasperation. You did not expect screams to be the soundtrack to your meal. Then, just as suddenly as it started, the noise stops. Confused, you look over. The toddler is slack-jawed, white-knuckling an iPad with a chunky green case. YouTube blares while their eyes stare an inch from the screen. No more tantrum.

This is exactly what I saw at a sushi restaurant with my friends in Arlington last week, and I have seen it countless times in public spaces. Chances are, you have witnessed this phenomenon too. It is what Generation Z calls an “iPad kid,” a child who is so violently attached to their device that it is the only thing that will calm them down. Why are these children so tech-addicted?

Amil Niazi of Cut Magazine covered the issue from a parent’s perspective. Niazi writes, “Those screens are just as much for the sake of the other diners as they are for us.” It is an instant solution. Even so, I do not understand why anyone would give a young child their own addictive device, and I do not seem to be alone in this view. Seeing iPad kids became a common Gen Z experience, an agreement between Gen Z started circulating online: no more iPad kids.

“The Today Show” covered this trend of kids posting TikToks with captions like, “Gen Z isn’t allowed to raise iPad kids.” As the discussion about iPad kids spread on social media platforms, a promise started to form—Gen Z would not be raising their kids in front of screens. It feels unconscionable. Seeing a child so dependent on a device seems wrong and sad, and my gut

reaction is to blame the parents. In truth, I have no clue what parenting is like. Plus, as the fed-up Cut article author put it, what does it matter to anyone else?

It is true I do not know what the personal situations of these families are. For all I know, the child I saw at the restaurant could have been watching that iPad for the first time. What I do have evidence for, however, is the long-lasting psychological damage screens have on young children. This is not a small issue. According to The Washington Post, “In the United States, almost half of children under age 2 have daily screen time, and about one-third spend more than an hour each day with devices.” It is so prevalent that the WHO and UNICEF have put out recommendations telling parents to avoid screen time for their children.

As someone who loves psychology, I find learning about how screens impact young children fascinating. Consistent screen time will cause this new generation to be developmentally different, and that is something we cannot ignore. They may face greater challenges in learning compared to their peers, due to preventable screen time habits. To learn about why these iPad kids are growing differently, I am focusing on three things: attention, language and emotional skills.

They cannot focus

A developing brain needs more time to comprehend what it is seeing, and “watching lots of short videos could affect children’s attention span,” according to a professor of pediatrics as reported by CNN. Much of the rapid-fire content they are viewing is not meant for children. Even some of the content labeled “child-friendly” is insidiously not, as seen with the 2017 YouTube Kids scandal covered by this Forbes article. UNICEF also stresses that screen time “hijacks” young childrens’ attention spans and takes time away from slower, meaningful engagements like read-

ing stories.

Vocabulary and speech delays

We all learned language as babies through observation and practice. Screens often rob young children of those milestones. As The American Speech Language Hearing Association (ASHA) found, “Children who use handheld screens…before they begin to talk may be at higher risk for speech delays.” According to the data collected by ASHA pediatrician Catherine Birken, some of these iPad kids learn languages measurably slower than others because they miss out on crucial human interaction. This lack of both language and social interaction may mean the child will be worse at communicating overall.

Less empathy, more aggression

Young kids who have excessive screen time cannot self-regulate. They have to rely on a device to calm themselves down.

An article from the National Library of Medicine compiling multiple studies found, “One study shows that increased TV exposure between six and 18 months of age was associated with emotional reactivity, aggression and externalizing behaviors.”

When the child does not experience that immediate relief the screen gives them,

they often lash out. The previous article from CNN affirmed this, saying, “If children don’t have enough time to play or are handed a tablet to pacify negative emotions, that could prevent the important developmental milestone that is the ability to navigate discomfort.” The iPad becomes their coping mechanism, making conflict with these young children much more difficult to navigate.

The UNICEF article went even further, asserting that screen time reduces empathy in babies. “Screen time inhibits young children’s ability to read faces and learn social skills, two key factors needed to develop empathy… The benefits of limiting and even eliminating screen time in these early moments will last a lifetime.” The bottom line: Excessive screen time stunts empathy, interactions and play.

Parents have the right to do whatever they think is best for their children. Forbidding screens altogether is not reasonable. However, I think Gen Z is right about iPad kids. No toddler should have their own device. It changes them and turns them into a different kid than they would be without the screen. Not having an iPad is worth a tantrum in a restaurant every now and then.

The Darién Gap and the belt of recognition

“Sorry,where is that again?” I was born in a small country in Central America called Panamá.

You might have heard of it. Maybe it was because of the Canal or because you are educated in geography. Growing up in Panamá is hard to explain to people; I did not grow up with just one culture surrounding or defining me. Panamá was built by multiple people from diverse countries, cultures and ideologies. It is a “melting pot” of identities and peoples. Panamá was founded by the Spanish, then became a part of “Gran Colombia,” and the French decided to build a canal. However, the French ultimately failed at building the canal, Americans took over the project, and many more people migrated to help finish building it.

As you can understand through this brief history, I grew up in a space where no culture was disregarded, where everyone was everything. We have coined the term “mestizo.” This is a word to describe a person who is mixed, with Indigenous, Spanish, Black and Asian DNA. In a study done on Panamá’s racial mixture, according to Human Rights Watch, 38.72 percent of genes from the genetic pool have an African origin, 35.87 percent have an Amerindian origin and 25.40 percent have a Caucasian

origin. This only covers information for one province out of 10.

We have always been a diverse country full of different cultures and identities. Nowadays, with the discovery of the migration path in the Darién jungle, now named the “Darién Gap,” more and more people have entered Panamá’s pool of cultures and identities. This migration path was “discovered” by the Global North in the late ’90s. It started out as an unrecognized path, with only a few thousand people passing through each year (usually to reach the United States).

Last year, it was calculated that half a million people passed through the jungle, a record number. The problem with this passage is that it is not completely walkable. The path is actually multiple paths within a series of mountains and rivers that are rocky and dense. The terrain is basically impenetrable, which results in a lack of policing and understanding of the area and continuing neglect by the Panamanian and Colombian authorities. This has caused criminal organizations to take control of the area.

As reported by the UNHCR and Human Rights Watch, “Crimes against migrants and asylum seekers in the Darién Gap, including pervasive cases of sexual violence, go largely uninvestigated and unpunished on both sides of the border. Accountability

for these abuses is rare, due to a combination of limited resources and personnel, a lack of a criminal investigation strategy for these cases, and poor coordination between Colombian and Panamanian authorities.”

Though this article reports on the faultiness of the actions of the Panamanian and Colombian governments, I think there is a third party at fault: the governments and citizens of the Global North.

Since starting this article, you have probably asked yourself the question: Why did I not know about the Darién Gap before reading this? In recent years, I have had the privilege to live in multiple countries in the Global North. As someone from the Global South, I have often found it difficult to understand why issues of the Global South do not receive big media attention and are never reported on. It has been a persistent question I have asked myself, one that I started to think about recently as I worked to spread the word about this issue. I noticed the lack of knowledge and awareness of one of the biggest human migrations in our world today.

The Global North refuses to recognize the Global South’s issues as immediate or “important.” This mindset is what causes our world to be in a constant state of instability and chaos. We know that without the help of the wealthier countries, things will not change, yet there is no acknowl-

edgement by those countries. There is no acknowledgement in the media or people.

The Darién Gap is one of many issues that falls below the belt of recognition, as I will call it, for the Global North. If it is not affecting them and will not cost them money, why would they get involved? Why would they help? These are the questions that establish what falls above the belt of recognition and what falls below.

Dividing human rights issues in this way is inherently flawed and, in my opinion, evil. The Global North has the power to change things for the better but do not exert their influence. I understand the economic and political factors, but what about the humanitarian factors and human sympathy? Is there really no part of their hearts that feels for those in the Darién Gap, in Venezuela’s unstable government and economy, the alarming numbers of femicide in Mexico, the displacement of, per Global Focus, 7.2 million people from Democratic Republic of Congo?

Global Northerners have the power to change the lives of millions but refuse to acknowledge these issues. If the media or government will not educate you, you must educate yourself. You owe it to yourself to look past what is presented to you, dig deeper and understand that our world is built on hierarchical systems of power that you live at the top of in the United States.

Image courtesy of Zach Frailey via Flickr.

SPORTS

Brewers Ballin’: Tobolski garners Liberty League Honors Brewers Ballin’

Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing.

France/The Miscellany News.

Name: Arden Tobolski

Year: First Year

Team: Men’s Soccer

Stats: First year midfielder Arden Tobolski has tallied six goals, two assists in five games played. With 11 shots on goal, Tobolski nets the ball on roughy 69% of the shots he takes. Last week, Tobolski scored in each of the Brewers’ two one-goal victories. Tobolski earned Liberty League rookie of the week for the week of September 9 to September 15.

Statement: “I’m thrilled to be a part of such a competitive and friendly group of guys who all want to win. My teammates and coaches have been such a huge resource that I have leaned on to get good results from our first couple games. I hope we can continue the rest of the season in a winning fashion and end up competing at the national level at the end of the year. Go Brewers!”

National League playoff race heats up

The Major League Baseball (MLB) season is 162 games long with 30 teams competing for 12 spots in the postseason playoffs. MLB is unique in the landscape of American sports in that the league is divided into two factions—the National League (NL) and American League (AL). NL teams play the majority of their games against NL teams, and AL teams play the majority of their games against AL teams. As the MLB season closes, teams’ futures are often determined by their performance in the final games of the regular season. That is especially true this year in the National League with the fourth to eighth ranked teams in the NL being within nine games of each other with about 12 left to be played. Anything can happen, which is why we have analyzed the situation and provided you with a guide for who to root for, how to follow the action and more as the season goes down to the wire.

National League Table (as of Sept. 16):

Philadelphia Phillies* 90-59

Los Angeles Dodgers* 88-61

Milwaukee Brewers* 86-63

San Diego Padres* 85-65, +3.5 WCGB

Arizona Diamondbacks* 83-66, +2 WCGB

Atlanta Braves* 81-68, +/- 0 WCGB

New York Mets 81-68, +/- 0 WCGB

Chicago Cubs 76-73, -5 WCGB

St. Louis Cardinals 74-75, -7 WCGB

* = Currently in the playoffs

WCGB = Games back from wild card

Note: The Mets and Braves are exactly tied for record, but Atlanta is seeded ahead due to their alphabetically-advantageous team name. The official tie-breaker is head-tohead record, which is currently tied at five and will be decided in the teams’ three game series later this month.

San Diego Padres

Is trading Juan Soto, as good a young superstar as there is in MLB, the key to success? Almost certainly, the answer is no. Still, the Padres did just that over the summer and have rebounded from a disappointing 2023 campaign. Currently in control of the top wild card spot, the Padres have the bats, starting pitchers and bullpen pieces to make a run for October. Could they possibly catch the NL West leading Los Angeles Dodgers and start to wreak havoc before the postseason even begins?

Arizona Diamondbacks

Last season, the Diamondbacks rode the same wild card position they are tussling for now all the way to the World Series, where they ultimately lost in five games to the Texas Rangers. Still, the Diamondbacks—known affectionately as the Snakes by those drawn to their ability to defeat the biggest names in baseball—entered the new season with high expectations. Such excitement was dampened as the Snakes limped their way through the first three months of the season. From the start of the season to the end of June, Arizona was 41-43. Since July, however, the Snakes are 42-23, and as of Sunday night, they hold the second NL wild card spot. Showing no signs of slowing down now, look for the likes of Ketel Marte and Corbin Carroll to provide some memorable postseason moments once again.

Atlanta Braves

With the Philadelphia Phillies getting off to a red-hot start to the season and Ronald Acuña Jr.’s season-ending injury, the perennial playoff-quality Braves are forced to contend for a wild card spot. Thanks to the New York Mets September hot-streak, the Braves are now neck and neck with their division rival for the final wild card spot. The Braves are certainly not a loveable underdog—they

have too much of a track record of success for this to be the case—but they should certainly not be counted out. Matt Olson and Marcell Ozuna can still change a game with a single swing, and C.Y. Young candidate Chris Sale is capable of giving any lineup fits. In the last two playoffs, the wild card Phillies have stunned the division champion Braves. Could this be the year where the opposite happens?

New York Mets

For decades, the New York Mets have lived in the shadow of the New York Yankees. The Mets are situated in Flushing, Queens, and the Yankees are about six miles to the Northwest in the Bronx. But this article is not about the Mets’ inferiority. Rather, it is about how their underdog mentality has generated the fun, gritty and energizing team that is now in a position to make the MLB playoffs after sitting 15 games out from first place in the National League East at a record of 22-32 on May 28. New York’s momentous run has been fueled by shortstop Fransisco Lindor putting together an MVP-worthy season, underscored by his offensive production of a .271 batting average and 31 home runs. Pitchers Sean Manea and Luis Severino have come up clutch for the Mets in the second half of their season. The Mets are sitting 8168, exactly tied with the Atlanta Braves, as of Sept. 16. The Mets will play the Braves in a critical three game series between Sept. 24 and 26 which will more than likely decide which team will go onto the postseason.

St. Louis Cardinals

The St. Louis Cardinals approach their final two weeks of the season with 74 wins and 74 losses. To make the playoffs, they will need to win the majority of, if not all, of their remaining games. Currently, the Cards have a <one-percent chance of making the playoffs. Even if the Cardinals ‘win-

out’ (win the rest of their 14 games), they will only have about a nine percent chance of making the playoffs. St. Louis has entered the past few seasons with high hopes on the shoulders of third baseman Nolan Arenado and first baseman Paul Goldschmidt, but these two players have just not posted the offense production necessary the past few weeks, rendering the Cardinals unthreatening as the playoffs near. If you love hoping for miracles, you will love the St. Louis Cardinals.

Chicago Cubs

The Chicago Cubs have enjoyed a turbulent season, which has led to them sitting in eighth place in the NL and six games out of the final wild card spot. The Cubs will need to win at least eight out of their next 12 games if they want any chance of making it to the postseason. The Cubs started the season strong and stayed in a position to make a move for a Wild Card spot. As the Mets heated up in August and early September, Chicago fell behind and now relies on the Mets and Braves to fail in their last two weeks for them to have any chance at a postseason. Cheering on the Cubs will be a daunting task with their inconsistent offense and poor defense. The Cubs started the season off well, hovering a few games above .500 until they started losing more games in June and July. The Cubs are a fun team that maybe just maybe could knock Atlanta or New York out of that coveted sixth wild card spot. With the final two weeks of the MLB season underway, viewers, fans and hopeful stans will watch with awe as their team looks to claim one of the six coveted spots in their leagues playoffs. Do not miss out on the action and tune in. Hopefully this article provided you with the necessary guidance to choose a proper team.

Additional reporting by Nicolas Villamil.

Henry

Chicago native reflects on Bears fandom

Being a Chicago Bears fan can be an excruciating experience—at least, it was for me and Gavin Akoto ’25 as we watched our favorite team stumble around Soldier Field for the first half of the Bears’ season opener last Sunday. We had fallen for it again: the yearly cycle of a Bears fan where we forget what happened the previous year, or the year before that, or the entire decade, for that matter. We Bears fans are hypnotized by HBO series into thinking that our team will change by practice clips posted online and quotes from our head coach about the new and improved squad. But the Bears will be the Bears. Last Sunday was a stark reminder of this fact. In 2023, the Chicago Bears finished dead last in the National Football Conference (NFC) North with a record of 7-10. The typical hot and long offseason was different this year though. A typical Chicago summer consists of speculative trades and hopeful signings, but this summer, Bears fans could rest assured that their challenging season would reap its benefits—the Chicago Bears would have the first overall pick in the upcoming National Football League (NFL) draft, courtesy of an amazing trade with the Carolina Panthers the year prior, allowing them to select the clear first overall pick, University

of Southern California (USC) quarterback Caleb Williams. Finishing his college career with a Heisman Trophy to show for it (the College Football most valuable player award), Williams spent a year at The University of Oklahoma and two at USC. In his final year at USC, Bears fans saw him as the light at the end of the tunnel, the dawn beyond the dark night. Over the summer, Chicago not only added Williams but built around him, adding key offensive pieces like wide receiver Keenan Allen and running back D’Andre Swift. Despite promising enthusiasm surrounding the 2024 Chicago Bears and rookie quarterback Caleb Williams, the Bears’ offense disappointed in their season opener, scoring zero total touchdowns. Williams showed glimpses of excellence, but the offense lagged the entire day. While the Bears struggled to unlock anything offensively, their opponent, the Tennessee Titans, moved the ball with ease, scoring two first-half touchdowns and a field goal. At the end of the first half, the Titans were leading the Bears 17-3. Disaster was setting in for me and Akoto as the Bears retreated to the locker room for halftime. We remembered previous Bears quarterbacks Mitch Trubisky and Justin Fields. We remembered how they too were supposed to be the savior quarterbacks that would lead the Bears back to the Super Bowl. Surely, the experts could not be wrong three times in a row.

After the halftime break, the Bears remembered how to play Bears football. A blocked punt returned for a touchdown by Jonathan Owens—husband of Olympic gymnast Simone Biles—opened the floodgates. It had been 189 games since the last time the Bears had blocked a punt, and it could not have come soon enough. Later, Titans quarterback Will Levis fell to his knees after throwing a goahead pick six to Bears cornerback Tyrique Stevenson. The Bears’ defense swarmed Levis, generating three takeaways in the fourth quarter alone, including a late interception by cornerback Jaylon Johnson to seal the win for Chicago.

So, the Bears squeaked out an ugly weekone win against an, at best, average team in the Titans… but Bears fans are content. We will not apologize for being 1-0. This brand of football is what we grew up on. Hard, physical defense and an underwhelming offense is our bread and butter. We love when our defense takes the field because it means that we might be able to score some points. Sure, it would be nice if the Bears could play a game without requiring a stellar defensive performance to generate a victory, but that is just not who the Bears are.

The 2024 Bears are reminiscent of so many previous Bears sides. The offensive line is abysmal, the quarterback barely has time to throw to his first read, but the defense is

elite. Like so many historic Bears defenses, this year’s group is special. They can take over a game and shut down the best offenses in the NFL. The defense will keep the Bears in games against superior opponents, giving Williams the time he needs to develop into a Super Bowl-caliber quarterback.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. So, call me crazy, because this time around I believe. I believe that Caleb Williams is the guy. I believe that the Bears will develop a competent offense over the course of the year. I believe that the Bears will be a good football team in 2024… and maybe make the playoffs? But if not, it will be fine. Akoto and I will still sit on our couch every Sunday and be satisfied watching the same old Bears play the way they have played our whole lives.

Being a Bears fan is not just about this cycle of disappointment; it is about mustering up the hope and belief every September that maybe, just maybe, things will be different this time around. Reflecting on my two decades of cheering on the Chicago Bears, I can confidently say that through my unwavering support, I have learned life lessons. I have learned the value of loyalty and faith and how to cope with betrayal and heartbreak. I have learned to love what you are given. But most importantly, I have learned to Bear Down.

Haley Schoenegge continues to dominate

It is not common for a school consisting of 2500 students to enroll a national champion.

Haley Schoenegge ’27, however, overcame those odds at the 2024 NCAA Division III National Track and Field Championships last spring when she won the 1500-meter final by a staggering 10 seconds as only a first year. She shocked the world of collegiate running last year, and as this cross country season ramps up, she has continued to turn heads. So far, Schoenegge has defended Vassar’s home turf well. Schoenegge has won twice in Poughkeepsie, once at the Vassar Season Starter and again at the Vassar Ron Stonitsch Invitational, leading the women’s cross country team to two early season victories. With the postseason slowly approaching, hopes for a record breaking season are high.

Schoenegge’s running journey began in her early years with her family in their home state of Kentucky. Her family had a major influence on her running career and the person she is today. Through watching and attending her parents’ run club growing up, Schoenegge was inspired to give the sport a try. She joined her middle school’s cross country team and she has not looked back since.

Entering collegiate running as an unknown freshman from Prospect, Kentucky is a very different experience than returning as the national champion. The two-time All American shared, “There’s definitely a lot of pride that goes into it [the national title], but it definitely adds a lot to the nerves that I have because there’s new expectations that I give myself and that others might give me.”

“There’s both good and bad, [the national title] can help create a driving factor of, ‘I know I can do it so I should strive to do it again,’ but then there’s also that sense of ‘I have to,”Schoenegge continued.

To take away from the pressure, Schoenegge has created a new mindset for herself, one that emphasizes that her life is not scripted

and anything can happen.

“I am trying to approach this season as if last season kind of didn’t happen,” she said. “I’m trying to take each race and each season going forward as its own thing and I can appreciate what I’ve done in the past, but moving on, a new season is a new season. What I did last year doesn’t necessarily affect the cross country season.”

Schoenegge’s talent is fostered by her ability to stay curious, Vassar Cross Country head coach James McCowan said.

“One of the things that separates her from her competitors is that she has this capacity to be really open-ended,” McCowan said. “It doesn’t all have to be predestined and I think one of the things that allowed last year to be so successful was her curiosity of ‘oh, I wonder what I can do, lets see how far we can take it.” A good athlete is physically strong, but a great athlete is tenacious: somebody who is willing to give their all to win everything.

Coach McCowan elaborated on Schoenegge’s prowess, sharing, “She can be a ruthless competitor, when the gun goes off, she’s there to win. The Vassar sprint coach Joe Reed would always tease her and call her ‘The Destroyer of Worlds.’ As light hearted, fun and goofy as she is at practice, when the gun goes off, yeah, she’s ‘The Destroyer of Worlds’ and she’s out there to compete.”

Schoenegge’s teammates also appreciate her presence. Cayley Swaim ’27 has really gotten to know the runner, student and person that Schoenegge encapsulates. When asked how she would describe Schoenegge’s work ethic, with no hesitation Swaim replied, “Crazy.” Swaim stated further, “During school, we would spend so much time in the library. I would get distracted, and she would still be grinding on work. It’s obvious how much she cares about her academics.”

Schoenegge is particularly interested in studying economics, and her work in the classroom reflects the same level of effort, resilience and tenacity that she brings out on race day. In regards to workouts, Swaim commented on Schoenegge, “If [Coach McCowan] has her do some extra reps or tells her to

go faster than the rest of us, she just does it. She grits her teeth and gets done whatever she has to get done. She doesn’t complain and she’s happy to do it.” Schoenegge does not only resemble a national champion but also possesses all the qualities of a collegiate athlete. It is her ability to put her best foot forward in every aspect of her life that makes her worthy of all her accolades.

Behind every individual runner is a team that works together every day to build that foundation for success. Schoenegge recognizes this, saying her supportive teammates and coaches are a primary reason for her success. “There’s a sense of doing things for them and with them that brings the desire,”she said.

Coach McCowan sees her role on the team as the same as every other runner, something Schoenegge embraces. “She’s not on this pedestal, she’s one of the women on the team,” he said. “She and her entire class buy into what we are trying to do as a team.”

Because of this, the road for her and Coach McCowan to the NCAA Division III Track and Field national championship last spring was bittersweet. While Schoenegge had an amazing experience, it was in a solo event

in which she was separated from her team. When comparing the individuality of track nationals to the camaraderie and team effort unique to cross country nationals, Schoenegge said, “It is so significantly more fun to go as a team than to go solo. It feels like more of an accomplishment when you’re with more people because it is something that you can share together.” She continued to add, “When I was at outdoor nationals, the one thing that I really wanted was to have a team there.” Throughout the rest of Schoenegge’s running career, she will always have her teammates to thank for their unwavering support and appreciation for her as a runner and friend.

Important meets for Schoenegge and the team approaching include the Connecticut College Invitational, Liberty League Championships and NCAA Regionals, and if all goes well, the team will finish their season in Terre Haute, Indiana at the NCAA Division III Cross Country Championships.

Remember the name Haley Schoenegge, and in case you forget, just check the headlines in the years to come. Vassar’s young star has only begun her career, and everyone is excited to see what she will accomplish next.

Image courtesy of Haley Schoenegge '27.

The Miscellany Games

“Minis

1, 2 and 3”

ACROSS

1. Alternatives to heels or sharps

6. Like some bonds

7. Cream of the crop

8. Info-gathering mission

9. That is, in Latin

ACROSS 1. Intro to econ?

“Take ___ breath”

Tubular pasta 8. The “L” in TTYL 9. Donovan who played Amber in “Clueless”

DOWN 1. Guy in a restaurant 2. Was amused, in textspeak 3. “Have ___ day!” 4. Texas vodka brand 5. Fragrance ACROSS

Answers to last week’s puzzle: “Take The A Train”

Syrup source 2. Utopian

Metric prefix 4. Descartes and Magritte

Lincoln Center offering

Baseball catcher

Talked incessantly

Get 1600 on the SAT, say

Like old bread

“___ Power”, 2021 Lorde Album

Cow chow

Milk: Prefix 3. NBA great Shaquille

“Ta-da!”

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The Miscellany Crossword “A-maze-ing”

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