Misc.09.28.23

The Miscellany News

Wednesday headlines ViCE Welcome Back Concert

Carina Cole, Luke Jenkins Assistant Features Editors

Last Friday, Sept. 22, alternative rock band Wednesday took the stage for ViCE’s annual Welcome Back Concert. The night before the autumnal equinox, the rock group followed opener Devon Thompson on the Frances Daly Fergusson Quadrangle adjacent to the Vogelstein Center for Drama and Film. Prior to the show, ViCE had scattered posters far and wide and drawn mural-sized chalk art in front of the Gordon Commons steps to get Vassar students excited.

Originally hailing from North Carolina, Wednesday came together during their time at the University of North Carolina at Asheville. Lead singer Karly Hartzman had not devoted significant time to playing an instrument until her junior year of college. She wove in and out of various musical projects and eventually began performing with current band members Jake Lenderman, Xandy Chelmis, Ethan Baechtold and Alan Miller. The Line of Best Fit, an independent online music magazine, summed up the power of the lead singer: “The songs of Karly Hartzman are rooted in the pathos of small town southern USA.”

Hartzman and her fellow band members began by playing various garage-rock shows, slowly dipping their toes into the Asheville music scene. The band not only

made connections with fellow local groups through this practice but also began to find their sound. Hartzman’s gritty, authoritative vocals pair nicely with the group’s somewhat unorthodox shoegaze-country instrumentation. The band—with their mellow appearance—may seem like unlikely country enthusiasts, but their North Carolina roots make them experts at blending twangy guitar with laid-back vocals.

As the band made their way through their setlist, mosh pits came and went. Students perched on each other’s shoulders. The stage, set up near the left side of Vogelstein, offered a more intimate and close-knit atmosphere than previous ViCE concerts, which have taken place on Noyes Circle and Main Drive. Songs like “She’s Actin’ Single (I’m Drinkin’ Doubles),” a cover of a song by late country artist Gary Stewart, took the crowd by storm.

Charlie Brodkin ’26 enjoyed both sets. “I liked both the opener [Devon Thompson] and Wednesday!” It was not his first time hearing the name of the band, either. “I work at a cafe in Philadelphia, and a customer recommended I listen to them.”

Although some students, like Brodkin, were acquainted with Wednesday’s music prior to the show, other students, such as Gavin Akoto ’25, went into the concert with no previous knowledge of the band’s music. “I was pleasantly surprised because

Vassar works toward carbon neutrality by 2030

tutions’ websites.

In 2016, Vassar announced a new goal: carbon neutrality by 2030. Similar institutions have committed to carbon neutrality in the near future and many have already achieved it. For example, Colby and Middlebury Colleges, liberal arts colleges of a similar size to Vassar, are already carbon neutral, as of 2013 and 2016 respectively, according to their insti-

Although not the first liberal arts school to set this goal, Vassar is making important headway toward it. The College’s carbon footprint in fiscal year 2022 was 12,895 metric tons and dropped below 10,500 metric tons in fiscal year 2023 according to Dean of Strategic Planning and Academic Resources Marianne Begemann. Considering that the college was unable to switch its central heating plant, a boiler fueled by natural gas, to renewable

fuel oil, this reduction is significant. Vassar is turning to other efforts to achieve on-site carbon emission reductions.

The College’s short-term efforts are multifaceted, according to Begemann. For one, Ecosystem Engineers —Vassar’s sustainable infrastructure contractor—is wrapping up a series of energy efficiency projects that will reduce the college’s carbon footprint and save money on utility expenses. They will soon propose Phase II of reducing on-site carbon emissions as one part of the 2025 Climate Action Plan. Vassar also has plans to expand electric vehicle charging on campus within the next year and will be replacing the charger in the parking lot behind Josselyn House. Additionally, the Vassar Student Association is rolling out a bike share program soon. Bike loading dock stations have already been installed, and the bikes themselves are soon to come.

Stop Waste and Promote Reuse (SWAPR), Vassar’s year-end move-out waste reduction effort, was also a success. A full gym’s worth of items was diverted from landfill—including over 1.5 tons of clothes and bedding—according to Begemann. After the 2023 Commencement ceremony, Vassar held two open community days for anyone interested to browse and take home items, all for free. Vassar also partnered with Dutchess Outreach, Hudson River Housing, Habitat for Humanity’s ReStore, Helpsy and other community-

and faith-based organizations to give donated items a useful second life.

Another short-term project includes a newly restored riparian buffer at the entrance to the Preserve. A riparian buffer is an area next to a body of water that contains vegetation and serves a variety of purposes, but mainly protects against erosion, filters out harmful chemicals, and provides shade, shelter and food for the ecosystem as described by U.S. Forest Service. Volunteers spent the past week planting native trees and shrubs in this area, a project funded through a grant from Partners for Climate Action Hudson Valley.

In recycling and composting waste management, Vassar has room for improvement according to Begemann. “Waste management is a problem due to contamination. The waste audits that student interns have conducted prove that point. Education is necessary if we want to reduce contamination of the recycling stream and increase diversion from landfills,” she explained. This fall during orientation, Izzy Rico ’23, the new Coordinator for Data and Programs in the Sustainability Office, conducted sustainability training regarding recycling and waste management. Vassar also introduced a pilot composting program at the Town Houses, Terrace Apartments and South Commons. But despite these new changes, contamination is a large problem.

Lev Winickoff Guest Reporter

See VICE on page 6x

See CARBON on page 3

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Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News.

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Students support campus sustainability efforts

Continued from CARBON on page 1

There are many ways for students to get involved with sustainability on campus, however, including some paid opportunities.

Ellie Sheik ’25 goes to the Vassar Farm and Preserve every Tuesday and Thursday morning to help harvest vegetables for the farm share program Community Supported Agriculture and Wholesale as part of their work study job.

“The whole idea of the Poughkeepsie Farm Project is based on agriculture that extends past food production. It incorporates community and education. Schools will come and get a tour of the farm so kids can learn

where their food comes from and how to cook it,” Sheik said. This type of farming is especially important in a society that relies on more harmful industrial monocropping.

Sheik also agrees that Vassar has larger issues with waste management, saying, “The network of communication between the students and Vassar and Greenway composting company and the Office of Sustainability leads to confusion as to what people should or should not be composting.” She added, “This kind of project is one that the student body can help tackle.”

There are numerous other opportunities for student engagement in campus sustain-

ability. The Office of Sustainability hires seven to 10 interns every year to help on a variety of efforts, ranging from waste audits and staffing the Free Book Store to GIS mapping and data analysis. Vassar Greens is a student organization that engages in climate activism. The Climate Action and Sustainability Committee, a committee established in the College Governance, includes three students—two from the VSA and one from the Vassar Greens, another way students are leading sustainability efforts on campus. Students can also work in the Vassar Bike Shop, which reports to the Office of Sustainability and supports green transportation on cam-

pus. Finally, the Preserve at Vassar and the Environmental Cooperative at the Vassar Barns sponsors a number of ways that students can get involved in conservation and sustainability efforts, ranging from invasive vine removal and pollinator garden maintenance to outreach and education in the local school system through Vassar’s Exploring Science Program.

Though not a comprehensive list, there are volunteer positions and paid roles for students to meaningfully engage in sustainability on campus. Vassar’s goals for carbon neutrality are not without the support of the student body.

October brings fall events to Poughkeepsie area

Explore Poughkeepsie’s many fall festivities this October. Students can travel to all included events using Dutchess County Public Transit, which is free for students. From the Boo Ball to cider tasting, there is something for everyone to enjoy.

Free Events

Every Saturday from Oct. 2 to Oct. 24 from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m.: Poughkeepsie Waterfront Market. This award-winning farmers’ market hosts local vendors from across the Hudson Valley with farmfresh produce, apple cider, baked goods and more. The Mid-Hudson Discovery Museum opened the market in 2017 to combat food insecurity. Now in its seventh year, the farmers’ market features live cooking demonstrations, live music and local artisans. Located alongside the picturesque Hudson River, the market sits on the pavilion of the Mid-Hudson Discovery Museum.

Oct. 6 from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.: New Exhibit at the Trolley Barn Gallery. Experience the opening reception of “quiet as it’s kept,” an international multi-media Black art exhibit featuring New York painter Ransome. Guest Curator Janice Bond curated the exhibit alongside Trolley Barn Gallery Manager, Jaime Ransome and the Trolley Barn’s youth curatorial team. The works of 10 local artists are featured spanning sculpture, photography, installation art and more. Alongside the reception, the Trolley Barn Gallery Prizes will be awarded to juried artists by youth curators. The exhibit is on display until Nov. 10. Oct. 14 from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.: Cider Tasting at the Kimlin Cider Mill. Sample the exclusive Kimlin Cider at the 11th annual “Old Fashioned Cider Tast-

ing.” The event boasts sweet and hard cider tastings, a demonstration of cider pressing with an antique press and a tour of the mill. Other attractions include Pygora goats courtesy of Clover Brooke Farm, live music featuring the Roundabout Ramblers and a food truck by Reconnect Foods. While admission is free, ciders are available for purchase. All proceeds go towards the restoration of the Kimlin Cider Mill.

Oct. 21 from 12 to 5 p.m.: “The YOU Goes Boo.” Get into the Halloween spirit by attending the Youth Opportunity Union (YOU) Advisory Committee’s annual fall fest “YOU Goes Boo.” Entertainment includes a costume contest, performances, trick-ortreating and free food. The event is located in the historic Eastman Park, across from a community youth center constructed by YOU in partnership with the City of Poughkeepsie.

Paid Events

Every Saturday and Sunday in October and Oct. 9, 30 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.: Scavenger Hunt at Locust Grove Estate. Adventure on the Harvest Hunt Family Program: “A Day in the Life at Locust Grove!” via a scavenger hunt across the historic estate. Embark on a self-guided tour with decorated pumpkins marking the route to learn about the Young Family and how they lived their life on the estate in 1901. The estate overlooks the Hudson River and features hiking trails, 200 acres of landscaped grounds and a historic Italianate mansion. Reserve your tickets online for $10. Costumes are encouraged.

Oct. 13 from 6 p.m. to 1 a.m.: 5th Annual Samhain Night Market. Celebrate Friday the Thirteenth at the Moon, Serpent, and Bone Oddities & Curiosities Night Market presented by Other Worldly Waxes. This year’s theme is Black Mass Masquerade featuring a Witches Ball Dance Party and

a production of “Fairest Shadows: Masque

A Reddened Assembly of Wonders.” The Night Market hosts a unique selection of items and talents from unique artists, taxidermists, psychics and more at Revel 32. Purchase your tickets online in advance for $21.

Oct. 14 from 3 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.: Poughkeepsie Harvest Fest with the Poughkeepsie Farm Project. Support the Poughkeepsie Farm Project (PFP) by attending their annual fundraising dinner for food access and education on the Preserve. The meal features PFP’s own farm-fresh produce and will be prepared by local restaurants and chefs. Fall Kill Creative Works’ Clay Works

will feature their hand-crafted ceramic bowls. Entertainment includes Hudson Valley-based reggae band The Big Takeover, DJ Wisdom and headliner singer-songwriter callie mackenzie. Tickets are available on a sliding scale and standard tickets are $25.

Oct. 28 from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m.: Hudson Valley Boo Ball at the MJN Convention Center. Dress up for the Hudson Valley Boo Ball’s annual costume contest and get a chance to win $1,000. This Halloween party features live bands, food, drinks and door prizes. Tickets are yet to be posted but in previous years cost $10 for college students and $15 for general admission.

Image courtesy of Natalie Sang ’27.

Jyotsna Naidu News Editor

Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News.

Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News.

VAG proclaims that art is for everyone

Julia Pippenger Guest Columnist

Vassar Artists’ Group (VAG) is a growing community of student artists. Led by Gracie Chang, Leo Valenti and Phineas Cashman, members of the Class of 2026, the group became an official organization last March. Since then, they have amassed a mailing list of 400 students, beautified the Deece, purchased communal art supplies and hosted regular artmaking sessions. I sat down last weekend with two founding members to discuss the genesis and future of VAG.

Chang, a psychology major with a correlate in studio art, has been making art their whole life. They hope to use this passion to pursue a career in art therapy. As a first-year at Vassar, Chang became frustrated with the lack of access to artmaking spaces and supplies, particularly because she was not enrolled in “Drawing I,” a full-year course that serves as a prerequisite for nearly every class offered by the Art Department, including photography, painting, sculpture, printmaking, video art and digital art. Even students who wish to take non-drawing courses must first commit to a full year of “Drawing I,” a laborious undertaking.

Both Chang and Cashman worry that this prerequisite is not feasible for many students. Students cannot join the class during the spring semester or drop it after the fall semester. Furthermore, the Art Department does not allow students who, like Chang, have an AP Drawing credit, to bypass this prerequisite. “I was really frustrated because I had no resources, no space and no means of making

art. I had to do that all by myself,” Chang told me. “I wanted to double major [in art], which was my original goal, and now I have to make it a correlate because I no longer have time.”

Cashman only started making art at the end of high school. “Drawing I” is their first formal art class. “Similar to Gracie, since I wasn’t in art classes, I didn’t have any opportunities to do this,” Cashman explained. “Gracie can attest—last year I would just paint in my room, and it got so disgusting.” Gracie wrinkled her nose and laughed, recalling the apparently noxious paint fumes that once filled Cashman’s dorm room.

Cashman, a media studies major with a correlate in Chinese, firmly believes that Vassar should provide opportunities to students who are passionate about art but are not majoring in it. “Anyone can make art,” Cashman told me. “Art is a reflection of where you are, who you are and when you are.”

I was curious about the organization’s name, which conveniently forms the lewd acronym VAG. I asked them to tell me more about this double entendre. Cashman immediately started laughing. “That’s all Phineas,” Chang said, shaking their head.

“So what’s the deal?” I asked. “You just liked it?”

“It’s a matter of marketing,” Cashman responded, trying to contain a laugh. “Realistically, we should be the Vassar Art Club, but VAG definitely resonates with people more than VAC.” Vassart Art Club, a former student organization, was absorbed by VAG last year after a period of inactivity.

Chang added that the name has helped with promotion. At the club fair this Septem-

ber, students apparently swarmed around the group’s sign, which read VAG in massive red letters. “It’s a name that definitely sits with people… and, I don’t know, it’s funny,” Cashman explained.

With ever-increasing sign-ups, VAG has big plans for the year. Following last year’s Deece Beauty Project, an initiative to display student art in Gordon Commons, VAG will host two more student shows in Gordon Commons: “Doodles” and “Queer Eye Deece Makeover.” “The Deece is common ground. Everybody comes here to eat, everyone comes here to build community and make connections, so it makes perfect sense to put art in here,” Cashman explained.

“Doodles” will open over October Break and remain on display until the end of the semester. The deadline for submissions is Oct.

6. Students are encouraged to put forward their doodles, whether on notebook pages,

gum wrappers or canvas. Submissions can be sent to pcashman@vassar.edu or submitted through the QR code available on the many posters scattered throughout campus. Information on “Queer Eye Deece Makeover” will be available later this semester.

VAG’s main priority is to secure a permanent studio space, similar to that of the Ceramics Club, where students can work on continuous projects without having to constantly set them up and take them down.

“That way, we’ll actually have a space of our own,” Chang said, smiling at the thought. Other hopes for the future include creating murals on campus, hosting tailored art workshops and partnering with other student organizations. In the meantime, VAG hosts office hours four times a week in the Lathrop MPR. All are welcome to enjoy free art supplies, make whatever they like and meet other artistically minded students.

Death Grips shreds at Brooklyn Steel

Last Friday, on the final night of summer, my friend and I waited eagerly amid throngs of concertgoers at New York City’s Brooklyn Steel. We stood at the foot of the stage, chatting with other merch-clad fans, trading setlist predictions with bated breath while passively playing Subway Surfers (and repeatedly crashing into boxcars while at it). As the temperature dropped outside, things were about to heat up inside the music venue. We were there to experience a sold-out show by the Sacramento band Death Grips as they wrap up their 2023 North American tour. Formed in 2010, Death Grips is the product of vocalist Stefan Burnett (aka MC Ride), drummer Zach Hill and keyboardist Andy Morin. Glitchy, chaotic electronica, coupled with booming hip-hop delivery and a punk ethos defines the group’s sound. Death Grips’ sonic repertoire threads through factory floors and computer mainframes to create music equal parts eclectic and abrasive, utilizing the musical aesthetics of grinding, distorted industry.

While the band took the stage, MC Ride leered at the crowd awash in red lights and screamed, “We came to blow your system!” Blaring atonal synths and garbled, pitch-shifted speech ripped across the venue as Death Grips began the night with “System Blower,” an anthemic set opener that flooded the listener in electronic viscera, sharp sounds and half-finished samples. “Cut straight to the chase like a shot of 180 proof/ Kill-o-watts riots, audio violence,” MC Ride bleated as the crowd broke into spasmodic glee. Waves of fans crashed against the stage railing, pushed in ebbs and flows of bodies by moshers initiating domino chains. Death Grips’ infectious primal energy only abetted

the writhing masses below.

As the band moved into the buzzsaw guitar riff of their hit single “I’ve Seen Footage,” I was thrust into the mosh pit and felt bodies pushing forward, clattering against mine as I battled for even footing and orientation. MC Ride flowed through the song’s lyrics, rapping, “Mystery ’hind that death door/ Juke step electrocute the floor,” and I began to slip into the delirious primal energies flooding the venue. Suddenly, it was not so much a concert but a collective kinesthetic experience—sweaty, turgid and strangely physically invigorating. I began to slam forth in the mosh pit, carry crowd surfers overhead and grin eerily when the stray Doc Marten would collide with my temple.

Death Grips’ metal-esque aesthetics were perhaps ideally suited for the venue. Brooklyn Steel, once a steel plant, is now a general admission standing-room-only club hidden in a corner of North Williamsburg amid steel-clad storefronts of construction companies and contractors. Brooklyn Steel embraces this “industrial chic”—as I entered the venue, I passed under giant industrial-strength ceiling fans and rows of welders’ masks decorating the entrance. Its geometric architecture, expansive interior and bare, monotone gray interior perfectly mirrored Death Grips’ electronic soundscapes of coarse textures, irregular rhythms and atonal melodies. The young crowd excitedly piled into the main theater space, feeling like they were attending a clandestine show in an abandoned factory. In about an hour, the room would be dark, humid and packed wall to wall, with attendees thrashing to the music.

Of course, this is because the music invites physically demonstrative behaviors. Death Grips is a dark, caustic band, and their music explores themes of subculture, delusion and drug abuse, often using ironic perspectives to

portray social disorder. The sixth song of the night, “Get Got,” examines chaos and illegality; the previously-mentioned “I’ve Seen Footage” details the narrator’s traumatic desensitization following exposure to an increasingly violent media cycle. A track on the later half of the setlist, “Come Up and Get Me,” details the narrator’s holdout against assailants he cannot separate from schizophrenic visions. Perhaps the most unrelenting song of the night was “Up My Sleeves,” which sees MC Ride shouting “I was conceived, by my disease, up my sleeves” with his entire body amid a frantic onslaught of looped vocals and groaning keyboards.

About an hour into the concert, I was drenched head to toe, twitching with muscular exhaustion, and still involuntarily headbanging to the hissing guitar and overwhelming reverb of the instrumental track “Runway H.” The track switched over, and a rare quiet set over the room before the band moved into

their last (and perhaps most famous) song, “Hacker.” As soon as the song’s extraterrestrial keyboard melody echoed through the air, the crowd erupted in manic energy and returned to physical expression. A tide of bodies rushed toward the stage, jumping on beat with the lyric “I’m in your area/ I’m in, I’m in your area” and enjoying the song’s accessible tonal quality, a pleasant reprieve among Death Grips’ music.

Unceremoniously, the fluorescent house lights turned on, and the concertgoers began to filter outside. As I shuffled toward the door, I noticed the tops of my new Converse, a pristine white at the beginning of the night, were now completely caked in a layer of dirt from being trampled upon. I had a sweat-soaked shirt, beer-doused pants and crooked eyeglasses from an unintentional elbow to the face. My friend and I reconvened, hugged, and with exhausted bodies but giddy spirits, we stepped out into the crisp autumn night.

Image courtesy of Gracie Chang ’26.

Jesse Koblin Arts Editor

Jesse Koblin/The Miscellany News.

FEATURES

Vassar Haiti Project celebrates Haitian art at Families Weekend

Caris Lee Copy Editor

Many of us know Haiti only for the sociopolitical stress it has perpetually endured or the natural disasters it has constantly suffered through. In 1804, Haiti became the first Black republic to achieve independence from colonial rule and enslavement. Today, gangs dominate the country, particularly in the capital Port-auPrince, causing major roads to close due to the violence and essential goods not to be transported. In July 2021, Haitian President Moïse was assassinated, instilling further political distress. Earthquakes in 2010 and 2021 left Haitians with unstable shelter and precarious access to food, water and health services. An outbreak of cholera was responsible for at least 223 deaths this past November as well, according to the Human Rights Watch. And yet, with a nation besieged with hardships and insecurity, there is a thriving artistic culture that lives. They say Haitians paint their hopes and dreams. Vassar Haiti Project (VHP) provides a way for them to show their artistic gifts to the world.

VHP is a collaboration of three entities: the VHP student organization at Vassar, Haiti Project Inc., a 501(c)3 nonprofit, and the local leaders of Chermaitre, a village in rural northwestern Haiti and its 42 surrounding villages. VHP buys art directly from Haiti to support hundreds of individual artists and their families. Their first customers came from the Poughkeepsie community. Now, the project sells art to people all over the country and even internationally. VHP also holds physical art sales, most recently in Washington, D.C., Connecticut and Martha’s Vineyard.

VHP’s art sales are part of their Art Initiative, which sends the proceeds back to the artists and their families, bolstering the local economy. VHP therefore serves as a conduit for Haitian art to reach the United States. One of the goals of VHP’s Art Initiative is to expand and elevate the narrative surrounding Haiti, where the country is often portrayed negatively in the media as “aid-dependent,” “poor” and “desperate.”

Sudiksha Miglani ’25, one of the four Co-Presidents of VHP, discussed the importance of sharing Haitian art in light of this stereotype that the country bears today: “I think with a lot of minority groups and

people of color, especially in Western media, we focus a lot on their pain. We do not give them the ability to celebrate their joys and their victories. I think that this is a great way of changing the narrative that we have about Haiti—because it is just a narrative focused around pain and all the things that are wrong with Haiti. There is a lot of beauty and talent there that we just do not acknowledge; it deserves recognition.”

Lila Meade, co-founder of VHP, added on to Miglani’s comment: “There’s this artistic culture, in music and in art, that is in every Haitian—it’s in their blood. They are artists. And it’s a way for them to exhibit what their hope, their possibilities, are for their future,” Meade and her husband, Andrew Meade, the current Director of International Services and Assistant Dean of Student Growth and Engagement at Vassar, co-founded VHP in 2001, when they realized that they wanted to make a tangible impact on the world. Both Meade and her husband have Haitian heritage—Andrew Meade lived there because his father was in the American Embassy in Haiti, while Lila Meade’s mother grew up in Haiti along with several aunts and uncles, all of whom were Haitian-born. Both adored Haitian art ever since they were married because it spoke to them. Their idea to sell Haitian art and give the proceeds back to Haiti originated from their own love and passion for it.

“It’s Haiti helping Haiti,” Meade commented. “One of the biggest problems with Haiti is that people donate money, and they’re never sure where it’s going. A lot of our customers are very loyal because they know that what they’re donating money for is actually going to happen. Our organization has thrived because we have a really good track record—we say we’re going to do something, and we do it. It’s cause and effect.”

In addition to going back to the artist, profit from their art sales also go towards VHP’s initiatives. VHP’s Education Initiative funded the construction of a seven-room school building for pre-school and primary education, a school lunch program, subsidization of teachers’ salaries and access to school supplies and textbooks. Their Health Initiative has built, staffed and supplied a clinic to provide healthcare to the residents of the villages. The Environment Initiative works to provide water access, and the Women’s Initiative supports Femmes de Chermaitre, a women’s cooperative that

serves to educate and develop women’s literacy, financial independence and education. These initiatives compose VHP’s mission: to foster sustainable development in Haiti.

“We’re constantly looking at our organization for sustainability,” Meade emphasized. “What we really want to do is walk away and have the community thrive on its own. That’s our ultimate goal—as a nonprofit, you want to make yourself extinct.”

Indeed, Haitian art and handicrafts demonstrate their flourishing culture and how far they have come, which is often neglected or overlooked in the media. In the VHP Office, located in the Old Bookstore, a painting by Haitian artist Benoit Profelus depicts one of the newly built schools funded by VHP. With vibrant colors, dynamic landscapes and an authentic style, it is clear why Haitian art speaks to so many people.

Sonia Gollerkeri ’21 joined VHP because of the art: “When I was a [first-year], the vibrant art was what drew me into VHP. My participation helped to define my undergraduate work, tying in what I learned in the classroom to real life experiences, working in a team setting to accomplish concrete goals.”

Vassar students are essential to VHP, where they lead the initiatives and are able to engage in hands-on, experiential learn-

ing in global citizenship. VHP also mentors students in leadership, public speaking and interpersonal relationships while giving them access to further themselves in their development as pluralistic leaders. One way students participate in VHP is through taking responsibility for planning, organizing and running these art sales. Students act as cashiers, wrappers and hosts, sharing information about VHP’s goals and the art on display.

This weekend, VHP will be holding their 23rd annual Families Weekend Art Sale. The sale will be open Friday from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m., Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. in the College Center MPR. Supporter and partner of VHP Sarah Planton will be giving a presentation on why she chose to donate her collection of Haitian art to VHP—her recently deceased husband, Paul Planton, was an admirer of Haitian art with a collection of 194 paintings. She will be visiting from England at 4 p.m. on Saturday. Père André Wildaine, VHP’s partner in Haiti, will also be present to highlight the art and provide updates from Haiti. Whether you or your family want to purchase the art or just recognize and appreciate its existence, VHP is welcome to have you. As the Haitian proverb says, “Men anpil, chay pa lou”—“Many hands make the load lighter.”

Images courtesy of Vassar Haiti Project.

ViCE Welcome Back Concert features Wednesday

I thought the band was going to be mellow, but their music was a lot more upbeat than I anticipated. I liked Wednesday because their songs were distinctive, and they played off of the crowd’s energy very well,” mused Akoto.

Hartzman conversed with the crowd throughout the evening, encouraging students to pursue music and taking song requests from the audience. One shout

from the audience prompted Wednesday to play their song “November,” off of their 2020 album, “I was Trying to Describe You to Someone,” despite the fact that this particular tune was not on their original setlist. ViCE co-president Dora Levite ’24 was impressed with the band’s receptiveness to the crowd’s energy, gushing, “My favorite moment from the show was seeing how much the band loved the crowd. They were so amazing and happy to be there, and the crowd brought such awesome energy.” By interacting with the crowd throughout the night, the band established a much-welcomed warmth and intimacy.

The performance’s success followed a nearly rain-checked, although in the end wonderful, Spring Concert the year prior. With a cancellation from JPEGMAFIA and rainy weather, the Spring Concert was one for the books. No rain, however, appeared on Friday as the night came to a close. The show went off without a hitch, with gleeful students trailing back to their respective dorms and apartments at the end of the night.

WVKR provides range of opportunities for student DJs

Are you tired of your same old Spotify playlists? Tune into Vassar College’s radio station, WVKR 91.3 FM, to diversify and expand your music consumption. The station includes shows hosted by both Poughkeepsie community members and students on campus. Each fall, students pitch new show concepts and go through an interview process to be selected for the program. This year, the station will feature over 20 student shows, including everyone from experienced DJs to those who are brand new to the station. To listen, tune in here: https://player.listenlive.co/65631

Sweetheart of the Rodeo: Ida-Rose Chabon ’24

(Wednesdays from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m.)

This is the fourth and final year of Chabon’s country music show on WVKR. Originally titled “You Don’t Really Hate Country,” and now “Sweetheart of the Rodeo,” her show explores and expands what you think the country genre is. Chabon wanted to cor-

rect the narrative many people have about what country music sounds like, citing post-Sept. 11 male country music about beer, women and trucks as the crux of most people’s distaste for the genre. She says, “There’s this whole other area of country music that’s actually the roots of country, which is Black country musicians and female country musicians and traditional American Appalachia country music.”

Perhaps surprisingly, Chabon admits that she once claimed to dislike country music but over time realized her childhood had instilled in her a love of the genre. Her dad played a diverse range of music growing up, including a lot of ’60s era country artists, such as Loretta Lynn and Patsy Cline. It was only as she got older, and partly because of a summer spent living in Tennessee, that Chabon came to appreciate the country music of her childhood and explore the genre on her own.

Each week, Chabon bases her show around a different theme in country music, like cheating, getting drunk or heartbreak. With a long-running show, Chabon says, “I’m not so much concerned with keeping

themes fresh as I am with keeping the artists new.”

Besides getting the opportunity to share her love of country, Chabon says one perk of being a DJ on WVKR is that she can play her friend’s music that might not get air on other stations. She also loves getting engagement from listeners, like when they call in to show their appreciation for the show. Finally, she adds, “I listen to music all the time, but I love having one really conscious hour where I have to be on the music, listening to music, making sure I’m fading it in properly and I think I’m giving it more attention than I usually do than casual listening.”

If you are hoping to get into country music, Chabon relays, “I would say Tyler Childers, Patsy Cline and Charley Crockett are three artists that I would suggest.”

On the Road: Esther Cull-Kahn ’26 (Mondays from 11 p.m. to 12 a.m.)

Cull-Kahn’s show “On the Road” explores how we connect specific music to the changes in our lives by interviewing people about songs that were meaningful to them during times of transition. She says, “I feel like personally I have a hard time transitioning, and I am quite a sentimental person. Endings are really hard, and I feel like I channel that through the music I listened to.” Cull-Kahn adds that music has the power to transport her back in time: “I’m just really brought back to the season and the weather and the people in my life at that time.”

Though Cull-Kahn had a show last semester, “On the Road” focuses on a new theme. She is looking forward to getting to know people better through her interviews and exploring how people use music to fill their emotional needs. She says, “I feel like music either defines how you’re feeling or sets you up to feel a certain way,” adding that music can make it easier to relate to something greater than oneself.

She is also excited to see what different kinds of music people associate with transition, saying, “I really feel like it can be a range, especially depending on the nature of a transition: whether it’s positive, nostalgic or sad. I feel like I usually always associate transitions with bittersweet, sad times.”

Noise Complaint: Elias Gorant ’26, Richard Murphy ’26 and Julian Young ’26

(Tuesdays from 7 a.m. to 8 a.m.)

What is noise in music? This is the question Gorant, Murphy and Young are trying to answer with their radio show “Noise Complaint.” As three friends with different but overlapping music tastes, Gorant said of the theme, “It felt like a topic we could come together on and learn a lot about.”

When explaining what noise really is, Young said, “It can be an effect or a hyper-exaggerated kind of sound that is not in conventional music or doesn’t have a conventional melody.” When throwing out examples of noise, Gorant and Young listed sampling, distortion, guitar pedals, boombox static or even the sound of a staple gun. Each show will focus on a different effect, genre or way noise is expressed. From there, the three will continue to explore questions of what noise is and how and why it is employed. Gorant adds, “I’m excited to really push the boundaries of what I even considered music to be. I think I’m excited about how it’s going to challenge me in that way.”

Sonic Foreplay: Marily Mez-Benitez ’26 and Andrew Maza ’26 (Sundays from 2 a.m. to 3 a.m.)

The story of Mez-Benitez and Maza’s radio show begins at an L.A. Witch concert in Brooklyn in the Summer of 2022. The concert was their first meeting, and after realizing they would be attending the same college, the two became fast friends. Their shared love of concerts, with Maza’s concert count at 14 and Meza-Benitez’s at 32, inspired their show theme and title, “Sonic Foreplay.”

The title is a play on words that invokes the theme of the show, which is a deep dive into opening acts. Each week, the two will choose an artist who is currently on tour and play a range of bands that have opened for that artist on both their current and previous tours.

With this show, Mez-Benitez says she is looking forward to “Researching openings and tours… And also, reaching out to the Vassar community or the Poughkeepsie community to see what artists they would like to see us play.” Maza adds, “I like doing projects with people, they connect me really well with them. So just to bond over music much more, for an hour, late at night on a Sunday, I think is going to be really fun.”

Clara Alger Reporter

Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News.

As the band made their way through their setlist, mosh pits came and went.

Image courtesy of WVKR.

Breaking News

From the desk of Nicholas Tillinghast, Humor Editor

COVID-isolated humor editor sighs, orders Big Mac again from McDelivery

Rocky Elevator breaks down its poor working conditions

Cassandra Brook Avoids Stairs

DearVassar student body, I am the Rockefeller Hall Elevator, also known as the Rocky Elevator. Approximately two to three weeks ago, unfortunately, I lost a fight. I had a bit of a breakdown which I guess isn’t okay for me, but is fine for all of you. I saw you after your last chem test. Why do I have to be God’s strongest soldier? I’m called an L-evator, not a W-evator, so it’s no wonder I failed.

I understand you are all mad at me, but you are all haters. Could any of you possibly perceive the immense pressure I am under as an essential elevator in an academic building? Every day I haul hundreds of people up anywhere from one flight, for those of you that are incredibly lazy, to three entire flights. I have to wake up at 8:45 a.m. every morning

to transport a bunch of smelly first-years to their introductory language courses. Are you awake at 8:45? No, you’re lying in your bed getting sweet respite from your previous night of shenanigans. And when you wake up at 11 a.m., you still get a cup of coffee from the Deece to remove yourself from hibernation. I DO NOT GET THAT PRIVILEGE. I don’t have time to do morning yoga, so my cables are tight, and you expect me to perform my best work. And when you yawn because you’re tired it’s fine, but when I creak and groan, it’s suddenly “Oh, the elevator’s a failure. We’re going to get stuck in here and die. Someone hit the emergency button.” Why are you being so dramatic?

Sure, I’ve made mistakes. I know a couple first-years have gotten stuck…for minutes at a time…with no certainty of escape. I understand that I’ve made a couple people cry and fear for their lives, but I never intended to hurt

anyone. I was just tired…dozing off…resting my eyes. It’s hard when people use you all day long. I mean clubs, classes, you name it. At any time of day, I’m working. It’s honestly a workers’ rights violation, but Big Elevator has lobbied Congress to suppress the formation of unions. While you guys at least have some kind of relaxation with TikTok and Fizz, all I have is eavesdropping on mundane conversations about school. I don’t care that you’re going to the political science lounge to discuss a paper! And I couldn’t care less about your passion for mathematics. Stop being a nerd and get a life!

Worst of all, I don’t even get paid. When I was hired, I knew I was going to be an unpaid intern, but that’s how you get started in these industries. It’s really hard to break into elevating, so I was willing to take any opportunity offered to me and work my way up the ranks. But I expected a promotion at some point. I’ve

been working in Rocky for years and not a dollar has been given to me. They keep giving me free Bacio’s pizza parties and merchandise, but how am I supposed to pay my rent with a fresh hot slice and a Vassar sticker?

So yeah, I’m not sorry I broke down. I’m under far too much pressure to not freeze up. And I wish you all were sympathetic about it. Instead, you put a degrading sign on me saying that I’m not working—that I’m a failure. When you fail a quiz or sleep through your class or drop a full plate of food down the Deece stairs, I don’t put a literal manifestation of your failure on your back. Unlike you all, I am respectful and have basic standards of civilized behavior.

I hope you guys enjoy trudging up the stairs indefinitely. I know I enjoy my newfound freedom.

Have an awful day, Rockefeller

Hall Elevator

Iron (Wo)man, and how you can be her

Josie Wenner Bad Samaritan

Alittle over a year ago, I wanted to donate blood at my high school’s blood drive. I filled out the forms. I got a little sticker. I sat in the chair. I was so excited to give the gift of life. But it was not meant to be. The worker pricked my finger and told me my iron was too low to donate. The world lost some color that day, and it wasn’t just from the blurry vision caused by my iron deficiency. My “I donated today!” sticker, once a sign of hope, now only served as a mockery, taunting me with its bright red hue.

I thought that was the end of my Samaritan career. But last week, I tried again. I dared to dream. Dared to hope. Dared to walk to the Villard Room, give my information and confirm that I did not have mad cow disease. The moment of truth came. I extended my ring finger, barely breathing. The news was sweeter than any marriage proposal would have been: My iron levels were normal.

Now, many people would assume that upon finding out I had low iron, I just took supplements until my levels were healthy again. Those people would be wrong. I did not take iron supplements (my mom told me to, but they gave me a stomach ache). Instead, I believe I raised my iron through sheer force of will. However, not everyone is as strong of character as I, so I’ve decided to spread the goodwill and compile some tips for others to raise their iron levels as well.

Ingest pure bars of iron. This is a surefire way to raise your iron levels. Bring a little cheese grater and a bar of iron to the Deece and just grate some shavings out over your meal. It’s definitely an odd seasoning, but at least it can’t taste any saltier than the Global stir fry.

Dress like Popeye. The sailor is famous for his love of spinach (a food quite high in iron) and in an attempt to channel his energy, you may gain some of his strength. You will need a black shirt, blue pants, a red scarf and a jaunty little cap. Be sure to close one eye and

swagger about. Become a reverse werewolf. Werewolves hate silver, and silver is pretty close to iron, so if you’re a reverse werewolf, you’ll probably become stronger when you touch iron. A reverse werewolf is, of course, someone who is usually a wolf but becomes a human on the full moon. You might have to get yourself registered as a service wolf because it could be difficult to get into buildings otherwise, but your

iron will be through the roof. Lick people. Sweat contains traces of iron. Disguise yourself as a bush, camp out at an ultimate frisbee practice and start licking people’s arms as they run by. Their loss is your gain. There are some negative side effects to this, (you will not be well-liked) but it’s an easy way to ensure healthy iron levels and also ensure a legacy at Vassar that will not soon be forgotten.

Say things, but mean the opposite. By exclaiming “What great weather we’re having!” during a thunderstorm, you will be exercising verbal irony. Being ironic could make you iron-ful, and give those levels a big boost. You could also read and reread Romeo and Juliet to get some dramatic irony in your system. Two ways are always better than one!

Godspeed, my little iron maidens. Go forth and prospect for some ore deposits.

Cold, wet and eating Popeyes chicken

Nicholas Tillinghast

WhenI talk to people back home about college, they inevitably tell me they don’t know where or what Vassar is, and I inevitably tell them it’s an hour and a half outside of New York City. “Oh you probably visit the City a lot right?” One would think. In two-and-a-quarter years, I haven’t so much as considered going into the City while at college, despite plenty of opportunities to do so. I rarely go farther than a block outside of campus. I’m not against leaving campus, per se, the right opportunity just rarely comes. That rare opportunity came in the form of Popeyes chicken.

During another disappointing Deece meal, my friends Vaughn and Allen and I came up with the brilliant idea of leaving campus to visit our local Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen for a nice change of pace. We each had different levels of Popeyes experience.

Allen was decently versed in Popeyes, Vaughn rarely ate fast food as a kid so he had never been and I’ve only had Popeyes twice in my life, with the second time being this past summer. I was never much of a chicken fan growing up anyway. After working at a McDonald’s for a year and a half in high school, though, I became a lover of chicken sandwiches, first the McChicken and then the Spicy Crispy.

We planned the trip for the coming weekend. I expected it to be a beautiful evening stroll up the street, but in the morning, I was instead greeted by unending drizzles and chilly temperatures, with no end in sight for the rain. Some of you might have given up at that point and waited another week, but for me, the potential of leaving campus for a better meal was too exciting for it to wait. I think it says something that the opportunity to visit my local Popeyes was more enchanting to me than the opportunity to study abroad.

The three of us met up in front of Deece on Saturday (Allen was late). Allen (who was late) had been to this Popeyes before and said it would be a 10-minute walk. I took that to mean that it was like a 20-minute walk, and if you’re bad at estimating, it kind of feels like 10. The rain was light enough that you could dodge most of it with an umbrella. Allen ended up being right about the distance, because just after a few blocks, the lit-up

Popeyes sign appeared.

When we entered, there was just one lady in front of us who was aggressively haggling at the counter for free food because they screwed up her order. I didn’t see whether or not she succeeded in getting it, because I

sadly out of order.

At this point, I am going to address a common conception that Popeyes staff isn’t particularly friendly. From my limited experience, I can say that the vibes are just weird at Popeyes. At most fast food restaurants I’ve been to, there’s at least a suggestion that the staff doesn’t hate each other or the existence of customers. This is not the case at Popeyes. I don’t mean that as a complaint, just an observation.

gray and two mediocre pop art murals, of a Quarter Pounder and the Statue of Liberty, respectively.

There’s really only one fast food restaurant whose design is consistently good, and that’s Five Guys. Nothing fancy there, just red and white tiles and pallets of potatoes. “What do we do with all these potato bags, boss?” “Eh, just put them in the dining room.” I think that works great for them.

was indecisively darting my eyes across the menu. Five minutes later, I ordered exactly what I thought I would get before we got there. Allen and I both got the spicy chicken sandwich with mashed potatoes. Vaughn got chicken tenders with a side of rice and beans. Vaughn and Allen both got strawberry lemonades and I got a strawberry Fanta from the counter, as the Coke Freestyle machine was

In terms of ambience, we sat near the ordering counter, and the lemonade machine made a ticking sound and had a light flashing on it the entire time we were there. There was also a weird set of large, dusty spice jars to my right. Were we supposed to believe that Popeyes cooks with these in the back? Even worse, one of them had clearly been stolen.

I think fast food restaurants are way too obsessed with design. When I worked at McDonald’s, they remodeled the dining room, which meant walking through an active construction site before and after every shift for months. After construction finished, the dining room ended up having way more

In terms of the food, I don’t really have much say about it—it’s fast food. It’s both immensely satisfying and disappointing. My only note is that the meal didn’t come with biscuits and I thought it would, so I had to go back up and order those after the fact. Everything was quite good, despite an abundance of sodium warnings on the menu.

Day turned to night, and after we finished a rather in-depth discussion of our parents’ marital statuses, we headed back into the rain and cold. Vaughn finished his entire meal and decided to head back to the Deece for more food. Allen ate half of his sandwich and took it back with him to Main. I went back to Main too, cold and wet once again, but this time filled with Popeyes chicken.

Rockin’ the Suburbs (I am afraid of New York City)

Emma daRosa Brave Suburbanite

As the school week comes to an end, many a Vassar student prepares to head to “the City” over the weekend. Whether visiting home or just having an adventure in an unfamiliar metropolis, being a mere two-hour train ride away from New York City can be a big draw for many students. Sure, NYC is a bustling, exciting city full of cultural opportunities and excitement that many of us could never have dreamed of in our hometowns. Unfortunately, I find it to be scary. I am not one for hustle and bustle; I consider myself more suited for dillying and dallying. So, dear reader, as October Break approaches I have compiled for you my guide to having just as much fun in any suburb as you might in NYC. (I promise it’s exactly the same and there’s no difference and suburbs are just as cool).

First, people love to visit New York City for museums. I’ll admit, NYC does have some truly world-renowned museums full

of incredible artifacts. That being said, I know from personal experience that lines for security checks can stretch all the way down the block and the buildings are often crowded and full of people taking pictures in a really annoying way that makes me want to break their phones. Instead, why not try out your local suburban historic site?! There is almost definitely not going to be anyone there except for one incredibly enthusiastic, severely underpaid and surprisingly knowledgeable docent. Go look at a letter that may have been written by President Millard Fillmore’s secretary’s mother’s cousin. Absorb niche local history facts that you can later regale your friends with in the Deece. Ask the docent every single question you can think of, god knows it’s been too long since they got to speak to a visitor. Micro-museums need your money way more than the Met, and depending on what state you’re in, they’ll totally let you bring in your pocket knife.

Second, go on a little shopping trip! Have you ever been inside a Target in New York

City? If you haven’t, I implore you to keep it that way, and if you have, my sincerest condolences. It’s a small hellscape where nothing cute you saw on TikTok is in stock and everything is sad and there’s too many people, et cetera. In fact, go treat your visit to a Suburban Target like a trip to a museum. Revel in the fully stocked shelves, find clothes in your size with ease, and end your day with a trip to the local Olive Garden. You don’t need to pay $30 for pasta in New York City when the never-ending pasta bowl is back starting at only $13.99!!!

My final tip for you is DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE! I recently found myself walking for a mile in the wrong direction in Manhattan and running through Grand Central Terminal at top speeds all in the same day. Never have I longed so strongly to fill a gas tank for $40 and pump some sweet, sweet carbon monoxide into the air. Walkable cities are overrated. I want to be the king of the highway. There are too many colors on a subway map; you only need to know, like, two colors in a car. Drive to get a fall Starbucks drink,

drive to a grocery store four minutes away because there are no safe sidewalks on that road, drive for fun with no destination, that’s as good an activity as anything you could do in NYC. I can’t wait to add to the 140,000 miles on my Subaru Forester. Although I am a very brave girl, I am not brave enough to successfully navigate public transportation. Such things are far more complicated than “green means go.”

If big crowds, small stores and colorful maps make you shake in your boots the way they do for me, I hope that you find this guide helpful. The peer pressure to be uncomfortably in love with New York City can really get a guy down. In three weeks when you return to your comfortable suburban home, I hope that you can use some of my tips to have just as fun of a day as if you were in NYC. Surely you won’t meet up with your old friends, realize you don’t really have much in common anymore, spend 40 minutes trying to decide what to do, and end up walking around your local Walmart and eating nuggets in the high school parking lot…

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

I think it says something that the opportunity to visit my local Popeyes was more enchanting to me than the opportunity to study abroad.

Exclusive interview features Matthew Vassar

WhenVassar’s first-year chemistry students unpacked the materials for their first lab this fall, they generally found just the things one would expect to find in such a scenario: beakers, test tubes, goggles and various chemicals. One pair, however, got rather more than they bargained for: in their lab kit, in place of the ethanol solution used in the experiment, was the frozen head of founder of the College Matthew Vassar.

“It’s true,” one of the students present confirmed to The Miscellany News. “I did, in fact, find the frozen head of Matthew Vassar in my chemistry lab. It was crazy.”

Although the head began an irreversible defrosting process upon being exposed to the air, for approximately 45 minutes, Matthew Vassar was lucid, affable and only partially melted. Fortunately, this time was put to good use; Vassar was kind enough to grant The Miscellany News an exclusive interview, his first to the media since 1868.

That interview appears below, and though portions have been edited for clarity, it represents the true, unfiltered thoughts of Vassar College’s esteemed and thawing founder. To properly follow the transcript, the reader should note the following abbreviations: MN refers to The Miscellany News, and MV to Matthew Vassar. Although changing these abbreviations to be more distinct from one another may have offered an easier reading experience, The Miscellany News could not be bothered to go through and change all the stuff that had already been written, so you’ll just have to deal with it.

MN: Wow. Matthew Vassar. I can’t tell you enough what a tremendous honor it is to be

speaking to you today. I know you’re a private guy, you don’t give a lot of interviews, so I really want to stress how much this means to me and everyone at The Miscellany News. Anything you’d like to share with our readers to start us off?

[At this point in the interview, Vassar’s mouth remained encased in the ice, unfortunately rendering his answers incomprehensible. The following eight minutes have been removed from the transcript due to lack of involvement on the part of the subject.]

MN: Okay, all good? Out of the ice? Great. As I was saying, we’re so glad to have you with us today, and I have so many questions that I don’t know where to begin! Let’s start at the beginning, though: What inspired you to found Vassar College?

MV: Well, I always thought it would be neat to have a college named after me. Have you ever had anything named after you? It’s really a tremendous feeling. Once you’ve felt it once, you can’t stop chasing that first high, giving more and more money to found bigger and bigger stuff for people to put your name on. And Vassar College, really, is my crowning achievement.

MN: Wow. Thank you for that answer. For our readers, who don’t know, what other things have been named after you?

MV: Too many to count, but my favorites include the USS Matthew Vassar, the City of Vassar, Michigan, and everyone named Matthew.

MN: Okay, great.

MV: It is, isn’t it? Simply tremendous.

MN: Moving on, what inspired you to make Vassar’s mascot the Brewers? I know your family owned a brewery in Poughkeepsie, but you were involved in a number of other businesses throughout your career, so: why Brewers?

MV: Honestly? I was joking when I named us the Brewers. I suggested it at the first meeting of the Board of Trustees, but I had no idea that they were going to take it seriously. If I had known that the name was going to stick for more than 150 years, I would have gone with something badass like “Flaming Dragons” or “Doom Leopards.” Or “Vassars.”

MN: Fascinating. Now, I hate to get political here, but I feel like I need to address the elephant in the room: the salary dispute between the College and some of its longest-serving female faculty members. Where do you stand on this issue?

MV: I have to say, I am tremendously disappointed in this institution. A 20 percent pay gap between male and female faculty members is, frankly, weak sauce. When we hired Maria Mitchell, we paid her less than a third of what the men were making because her job came with a furnished apartment in the observatory. I’d love to see today’s administration show some ingenuity like that.

MN: Thank you for weighing in on the question of pay equity, Matthew Vassar. Now, as you continue to melt, we’re getting close to the end of our time, but if it’s okay with you I’d love to ask you a couple more questions.

MV: By all means.

MN: Have you ever played Yu-Gi-Oh?

MV: Yes.

MN: How? The game didn’t come out until 1999! Even if you’re referring to the manga, it began publication in 1996, well after your death in 1868. Are you lying to me, Matthew Vassar?

MV: What I do and don’t lie about is no business of yours.

MN: Okay, moving on. When you purchased the land that would become Vassar College’s campus in 1861, did you anticipate that it would one day be besmirched by an eyesore like Noyes House?

MV: I don’t think anyone could have anticipated the ways in which this campus has expanded and changed over the last 162 years. Looking at it today, it’s clear that the sex seedlings I planted all those years have grown into fully formed sex trees.

MN: What?

MV: You know, sex trees? As in, trees that represent equality between the sexes in the field of educational attainment?

MN: Right, of course. Well, Matthew Vassar, if I’m not mistaken, you appear to have fully melted, but it’s been an honor and a privilege to have this conversation with you, and I hope we can speak again soon. Thanks again for spending this time with us at The Miscellany News.

Deece decides to stop gluing plastic cups together

Benjamin Savel Glue Man Group Member

In a statement to The Misc last week, the Deece has announced the termination of their cup gluing program, citing supply chain issues, student frustration, issues with the supply chain and, most importantly, supply chain issues.

The Deece gluing committee consisted of eight members who all had way too much time and glue on their hands. When the allegations of cup-gluing were announced, it was quickly realized that each committee member had less-than-ideal reasons for gluing the

cups together.

Elmer G. Sticks, for one, wanted to glue the cups together to increase share prices in his gluing company. This caused most of the committee to point fingers at him when the gluing accusations came out, shouting “It’s Elmer’s glue!” But despite their denials, other members of the gluing committee also had a vested interest in gluing the cups together.

Another member named Bond, James Bond, said he wanted the cups to bond together so people would learn how to serve drinks properly. “When you separate glued cups, you have to shake them apart,” he explained. “It’s best to have drinks shaken, not

stirred.”

The lack of available plastic cups combined with the recent removal of compostable cups caused many students to go thirsty for days. More than 25 students daily were writing letters to the Deece complaining that their voices were a little hoarse. When asked for comment, Bond stated, “A little horse is what we used to make the glue for our cups.”

After the secret committee was revealed, students piled on more with their frustration. Eli W. ’25 stated that the glue led him to a state of exasperation every morning. “It’s like I have to play a mini game of reverse Tetris before I can eat breakfast! In the

mornings, I’m always so tired—my brain is thoroughly cooked. Unlike the rice I had for dinner last night.”

Another student named Eli W. ’26, agreed with Eli W.’s sentiments. Eli W ’27 concurred with Eli W. and Eli W. So, too, did Eli W., Eli W., Eli W., Eli W., Eli W., Eli W., Eli W., Eli W. and Eli W., scrawling their passionate feedback notes on the corkboard by the exit.

Without glue, the Deece has no official policy on keeping its cups together. Bond could only offer us a short word on the future of Vassar’s beverage receptacles:

“We’ll throw some ideas (not glue) at a wall and see if anything sticks.”

Benjamin Savel/The Miscellany News.

Oliver Stewart Future Oprah

Men’s rugby exists and they want you

Ihave committed a wrong that I wish to right. I did not realize that we have a male rugby team. In my defense, I’m not the only one. When anyone here says “the rugby team” we know which one they are talking about (sorry, guys). Also, isn’t it progressive of me not to assume that there’s a male version of every sport? The women are, how do I put this delicately…good. Very good. But to make up for my ignorance, I decided I would help advertise the male rugby team (unless during the editing of this paper they inform me that I was, in fact, correct in my lack of belief in their existence). I was worried I was being mean, but if you’re on the male rugby team, you clearly haven’t been bullied enough. The reason I’m using a fake name is not because I’m scared of the male rugby team (is anyone?). Rather, I have a life and I

don’t have time to hear everyone’s thoughts on the matter.

Now, I’ll start with what they’re looking for. First things first, you don’t have to be a straight white dude, but most queer guys and non-white guys know better—I mean, have other commitments. They like tall-towering people as much as the next guy, but you will never find another team on campus with a higher percentage of short kings. They’re also known for their pint-sized princes, little lads and miniature monarchs. They’re looking for people who are cool but not so cool that they will find something better to do. They practice several times a week (I have yet to see proof of this). They would also like someone tech-savvy so they can have their own Instagram page. Technically, they share one with the other rugby teams, but does anyone go to the Vassar rugby Instagram to look for the guys? Unless of course, they are drunk, stoned, clinically insane or lost a

fight with someone on the rugby team (the women’s one). But hey, letting the women have all the glory is a great way to stick it to the patriarchy.

Now you might be wondering how much of a commitment this is. Well, you don’t have to worry about that. None of their players have ever expressed that they are too busy with other things. You might be thinking, “But I’m worried I won’t be able to spend time with my girlfriend.” Sweetie, any girl at Vassar dating a rugby player is almost certainly a lesbian. You don’t have to worry about overcommitment. If the male rugby team were truly such a large commitment that you don’t have time for anything else, then surely I would have realized they existed far sooner. If you’re too intimidated by them to join, they won’t laugh at you. They will actually get on their knees and say, “Thank you God! Finally, someone who doesn’t think we’re a joke or Marist students who wan-

dered off too far. Thank you Lord!”

We as Vassar students don’t give them the respect they deserve. If they were a team at Marist, they would actually be respected and talented, but being on the male rugby team at Vassar shows that you don’t give a damn about popularity and being cool. Marist male rugby players would get an ego. Vassar male rugby players would have any ego shattered before it can even build up. I would say more, but I have to find someone who can tell me where I can watch the women’s rugby team. You might be worried that the superiority of the women’s team would cause the men’s rugby players to give up due to the rejection. No one on the Vassar men’s rugby team will give up (despite all the reasons they could give to justify it). One thing we can’t deny about them is that they are committed. Too bad they committed to an activity where we pay our respects to them the same way the college pays our female professors.

The Z (Women’s) Rugby Fan

Letter to the Editor: Women professors counter Bradley

To the Editor,

In the recent New York Times article “One of America’s First Women’s Colleges Is Accused of Paying Men More” (nytimes.com, Sept. 18, 2023), Betsy Bradley, President of Vassar College, claims Vassar has “agreed to” conduct an “independent compensation analysis.” While this statement may appear to be a sign of progress, it is misleading and in fact underscores the concerns of Vassar’s female full faculty. We write to correct the record.

Bradley first raised a new compensation analysis mere moments before the Times reporting deadline and after years of ignoring precisely the kind of data-driven analyses she now claims to support. Bradley’s announcement therefore appears to be more an attempt to get ahead of the news cycle and circumvent the legal process than a genuine effort to address a decades-old issue.

In the same article, Bradley also continues to justify the gender pay gap at Vassar by suggesting it is due to differences in seniority, department affiliation and impartial peer review. This is false: The compensation analyses Bradley internally conducted alongside several female faculty (and subsequently ignored) already confirmed that these factors do not account for the gender pay gap among full professors.

We are concerned that President Bradley seems determined to litigate this matter in the public through misleading statements to the press. We regret that we must correct the record, but we will continue to do so if President Bradley provides inaccurate information in a public forum. We would much prefer to work constructively with the College to help it align its practices with its stated mission of being a leader in gender equity and inclusion.

- Abigail A. Baird, Professor of Psychological Science

Pinar Batur, Professor of Sociology

Nancy Bisaha, Professor of History

Giovanna Borradori, Professor of Philosophy

Gabrielle H. Cody, Professor Emerita of Drama

Mary Ann Cunningham, Professor of Geography

Eve D’Ambra, Professor of Art

Leslie C. Dunn, Professor of English

Natalie Priebe Frank, Professor of Mathematics and Statistics

Rebecca Edwards, Professor of History

Rachel D. Friedman, Professor of Greek and Roman Studies

Katherine Hite, Professor of Political Science

Jean M. Kane, Professor of English

Sarjit Kaur, Professor of Chemistry

Eileen Leonard, Professor Emerita of Sociology

Jenny Magnes, Professor of Physics

Kirsten M. Menking, Professor of Earth Science

Seungsook Moon, Professor of Sociology

Lydia Murdoch, Professor of History

Uma Narayan, Professor Emerita of Philosophy

Molly Nesbit, Professor of Art

Laura Newman, Professor of Art

Nancy Jo Pokrywka, Professor of Biology

Lizabeth Paravisini-Gebert, Professor of Hispanic Studies

Peipei Qiu, Professor of Chinese and Japanese

Margaret L. Ronsheim, Professor of Biology

Miriam Rossi, Professor Emerita of Chemistry

Jill S. Schneiderman, Professor of Earth Science

Kathleen M. Susman, Professor of Biology

Shona Tucker, Professor of Drama

Michele M. Tugade, Professor of Psychological Science

Denise A. Walen, Professor of Drama

Jennifer E. Walter, Professor Emerita of Computer Science

Eva Woods Peiró, Professor of Hispanic Studies

Yu Zhou, Professor of Geography and Earth Science

Susan Zlotnick, Professor of English

Letter to the Editor: Associate professors support lawsuit

We, the undersigned associate professors, stand in support of our senior women colleagues in their pursuit of pay equity. The practices and structures which we use to hire, retain, evaluate and compensate faculty for their work are known to be biased and they contribute to both historic and ongoing inequities. We call on President Bradley and the Board of Trustees to settle this case in a way that demonstrates the College’s commitment to gender equity and which conveys respect and high regard for the long-standing contributions and value of our female senior colleagues.

We are also concerned about gender-based pay inequity at the associate professor rank. In addition to what the current lawsuit has exposed, a number of us have direct or indirect experiences that have led us to question how gender- and race-based discrimination may exist in contemporary review structures and practices. We therefore call on the College to provide the relevant faculty committees with the resources to undertake a holistic and thorough examination of current salaries and promotion structures, identify those aspects of the post-tenure review process that may contribute to patterns of social inequity, and take action to diminish those inequities. Doing so will bring the College’s practices into closer alignment with the highest values of the institution.

Such an examination of current salary and review systems must include all of our colleagues (including but not limited to assistant professors, lecturers, and visiting and adjunct faculty).

Respectfully signed,

- Stuart L. Belli, Associate Professor of Chemistry

Hadley Bergstrom, Associate Professor of Psychological Science

Simona Bondavalli, Associate Professor and Chair of Italian

Kariane Calta, Associate Professor of Mathematics

J. Mark Cleaveland, Associate Professor of Psychological Science

Allan Clifton, Associate Professor of Psychological Science and Director of the Independent Program

Zach Cofran, Associate Professor of Anthropology

Hiromi T. Dollase, Associate Professor of Japanese and Director of Asian Studies Program

Tom Ellman, Associate Professor of Computer Science

David J. Esteban, Associate Professor of Biology

Megan D. Gall, Associate Professor of Biology and Director of Neuroscience and Behavior

Dara Greenwood, Associate Professor of Psychological Science and Director of Media Studies

Sophia Siddique Harvey, Associate Professor of Film

Jingchen Monika Hu, Associate Professor of Mathematics and Statistics

Alison Spodek Keimowitz, Associate Professor and Chair of Chemistry

Jennifer Kennell, Associate Professor of Biology

Candice Lowe-Swift, Associate Professor of Anthropology

Adam Lowrance, Associate Professor of Mathematics and Statistics

Zoltan Markus, Associate Professor of English and Director of Medieval and Renaissance Studies

Jannay Morrow, Associate Professor of Psychological Science

Barbara Olsen, Associate Professor and Chair of Greek and Roman Studies

Sam Okoth Opondo, Associate Professor of Political Science and Africana Studies

Carolyn Palmer, Associate Professor of Psychological Science

Justin Patch, Associate Professor and Chair of Music

Hiram Perez, Associate Professor of English

José G. Perillán, Associate Professor of Physics and STS and Director of STS

Michaela Pohl, Associate Professor of History

Christopher Raymond, Associate Professor of Philosophy

Eréndira Rueda, Associate Professor of Sociology and Director of Latin American and Latinx Studies

Colette Salyk, Associate Professor of Astronomy and Chair of Physics and Astronomy on the Maria Mitchell Chair

Jodi Schwarz, Associate Professor of Biology

Jeff Seidman, Associate Professor of Philosophy

Tyrone Simpson, Associate Professor of English

Shane Slattery-Quintanilla, Associate Professor of Film

Marc Smith, Associate Professor and Chair of Computer Science

Erica Stein, Associate Professor and Chair of Film

Justin Touchon, Associate Professor of Biology

Nicolás Vivalda, Associate Professor of Hispanic Studies

Silke von der Emde, Associate Professor and Chair of German Studies and Director of SILP

Bojana Zupan, Associate Professor of Psychological Science

Analyzing the problems with common pregnancy test AFP

Christine Xu Guest Columnist

Pregnancy has a lot of checkpoints. Even a single visit to an OB-GYN can mean wrestling with a catalog of acronyms that your doctor wants you to get tested for. One is AFP, which stands for alpha fetoprotein. Getting AFP levels tested is routine rather than particular to high risk pregnancies. So why is everyone getting tested for AFP levels? And is this the best test for its purpose?

To start off, what even is AFP? It’s a protein created in the embryonic yolk sac and in the later fetal liver. After birth, AFP levels in children and adults are low. According to the National Library of Medicine, in non-pregnant people, high levels of AFP serve as a tumor marker—helping to screen for or diagnose cancer. For pregnant people, however, AFP can be detected because the developing fetus makes this protein. According to Scandinavian Association of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, in utero this AFP permeates into the maternal blood through the placenta or into amniotic fluid, which surrounds the baby as it grows in a protective sac within the uterus. While scientists may not know the exact effect of abnormal AFP levels on the fetus, they do know that these abnormalities are linked with genetic disorders and birth defects.

The National Down Syndrome Society describes lower than normal levels of AFP as an indicator of an increased risk of Down Syndrome. Typically humans have two copies of each chromosome, but an individual with Down Syndrome has an extra copy of chromosome 21. This can

manifest in physical traits, heart defects and intellectual disabilities.

The National Library of Medicine describes higher than normal levels of AFP as an indicator of an increased risk of a neural tube defect. Proper formation of the neural tube in a developing fetus is important because it precedes the development of the brain and spinal cord later on in gestation, thus making up the fetus’ central nervous system. The process begins with an open neural plate and concludes with it closing into the neural tube, so any deviation from this process can give rise to serious defects. Some of the defects include spina bifida, wherein the spinal cord does not properly close and the part that remains open leaves spinal nerves exposed. Another neural tube defect is anencephaly, wherein incomplete closure of the neural tube does not allow the skull to form properly. Typically, its formation and closure help join parts of the brain. The National Library of Medicine specifies that in anencephaly the fetus has an underdeveloped brain and degenerating central nervous system—the baby dies shortly after birth.

Essentially, a lot of things can go awry during pregnancy, so patients say “yes” to acronymed tests that their OB-GYN suggests, like the AFP test. This test was developed to help assess a pregnancy’s risk of a genetic disorder or birth defect. The Mayo Clinic cautions that when it comes to patients of advanced maternal age (35 years or older), there is an increased risk of the fetus having Down Syndrome because older eggs are more likely to experience a mistake in cell division that leads to an extra copy of a chromosome. AFP testing serves

as a tool for doctors to provide counseling on the risks of a fetus having a genetic disorder.

Getting a routine AFP test is simple. During the second trimester of a pregnancy, specifically between 14 to 22 weeks of gestation, the doctor draws maternal blood to send out and gets a report on whether or not the detected AFP levels fall within the expected range. This method is specifically called maternal serum AFP (MSAFP). If results are abnormal, the doctor may suggest amniocentesis—drawing a sample of amniotic fluid—to get a more accurate measurement of AFP levels.

But is AFP testing the best tool for screening and potential diagnosis? In the case of neural tube defects, which can be fatal, it is indeed a matter of life or death. The Western Journal of Medicine discusses that the trouble lies in the high rate of false positives, which leads women to believe that their fetus has a neural tube defect—AFP levels may be abnormal for a variety of reasons that do not necessarily indicate a birth defect. The Cleveland Clinic describes how further testing, through methods such as amniocentesis and ultrasonography, which uses high-intensity sound waves to visualize internal structures, gives a more accurate look at the fetus. The additional testing often determines that the fetus is actually healthy. On the other hand, false negatives are just as problematic because they lead women into a false sense of security—only later to discover that their baby may have a birth defect.

The American Pregnancy Association highlights that an additional complication to using AFP as a marker for genetic disor-

ders and defects is that AFP levels depend on gestational age. When determining if AFP levels from the fetus found in the maternal blood sample lies within the normal range, the AFP levels are compared to expected values for a given gestational age. This is why accurate dating is important. An incorrect calculation of gestational age can thus lead to false positives or negatives. Sometimes the presence of another fetus can affect AFP levels, so it is also important to note a pregnancy with multiple fetuses.

AFP testing is complicated. So is it the optimal method of screening for something as grave as a neural tube defect? A study from the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology shows that using ultrasonography in addition to AFP testing increases the likelihood of accurately identifying neural tube defects. Another study from the journal General Obstetrics and Gynecology shows that even in low risk pregnancies, use of ultrasonography improves detection. An additional study from the Journal of Prenatal Medicine consolidates that AFP tests are only well grounded when coupled in this way, so AFP testing alone is not the best tool. Greater emphasis should be on other methods, like ultrasonography, or a holistic approach of analyzing AFP levels in conjunction with other tests.

In some respects, AFP testing is even obsolete. The field of maternal fetal medicine has seen the evolution of new technologies and tests since the AFP test was first discovered in 1956 and widely used in the 1970s— those of which can replace the AFP test as part of routine pregnancy care. Maybe one day the AFP acronym will no longer be a routine test at a visit to an OB-GYN.

Students should be more open to religion at Vassar

Catherine Borthwick, Eli Cuomo Live Events Chair, Guest Columnist

MostVassar students would never claim to be anti-religious. In addition, they are aware that religions are not defined by their most radical proponents. But, more often than not, they still adhere to closed-minded Enlightenment ideas of secularism and rationality. A patronizing tone can be found in the voice of the atheist, or even the agnostic, when “talking God” in a Vassar class. Religious ideologies are characterized as logically unsound or meaningless, and discarded in class discussions by students who abstain from embracing their intrinsic worth.

Christians are often forced to rise above the harshest critiques of religion. Outside of religion classes (and classes in similar departments), Christian ideology is framed as a justification for atrocities and bigotry. Additionally, the rise of Christian nationalism in the United States has wrongfully politicized Christianity and inextricably linked personal faith to oppressive legislation. It would be wrong to ignore these problematic and frankly appalling applications of Christianity, but that should not provide an automatic rejection of all Christian philosophy, or the philosophy of any religion that has similarly been used as a justification for mass violence. The same can be said for Islam, especially in regard to American responses to Islamic terrorism. In both cases, these religions become saturated by a minority of extremist politics rather than their overarching core ideologies.

Marx famously called religion the opium of the masses, but in rejecting the tran-

scendent, secular liberals have doomed themselves to an existential and hopeless outlook on an increasingly downward-spiraling world. In addition, it feels anti-intellectual to deny the existence of God without embracing the possibility of circumstances beyond our collective understanding. There are countless lessons to be learned from religious outlooks. Secular liberals who regard themselves as above religion close their minds to thousands of years of philosophical, scientific and metaphysical investigations, and exclude the perspectives of deep thinkers and complex systems of belief. You do not have to believe in God, but you do have to respect people who do.

The liberal arts education was designed to value open-mindedness and a willingness to engage in new perspectives. It is therefore a disappointment when peers turn their backs to religious ideologies and view them as less legitimate than secular ones. Religion has been sidelined and compartmentalized in American society, and this ostracism can perhaps be felt in ivory tower institutions more than anywhere else. “I’m not religious, but I am spiritual” is a phrase that echoes throughout this campus, but why? It is a shame that people guard themselves from investigating institutionalized systems of belief when they openly embrace transcendent thinking.

We can face these larger issues on a community level, whether within a classroom or around campus. For example, during a certain time in the spring, Ramadan, Passover and Buddhist Sangha meditation all share overlapping times in Pratt House, the religious center on campus. The joy that is shared in that little house during

those days is unmatched: food is abundant, chatter carries upstairs, and the different religious groups share a common space that is unique and warm. It is a special moment of acceptance and community that is rarely understood outside of Pratt’s walls. Exploration and reflection within the bounds of religious experience invite a powerful feeling of solidarity with others who are experiencing the same existential questions that we inevitably face, especially as college students. All of this is quietly waiting for those who have the courage to engage with it.

Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News.

Biden’s impeachment inquiry is a far-right revenge ploy

Soren Fischer Guest Columnist

Thisimpeachment inquiry of President Joe Biden is nothing but a revenge ploy by the fringe of far-right extremist Republicans in the House of Representatives. The modern impeachment inquiries of former Presidents Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton and Donald Trump all had something in common: There was credibility behind the evidence that was presented—something that is lacking in the supposed wrongdoings of Biden.

Following months of troubled attempts in Congress to find agreements, lawmakers returned to Capitol Hill only to find a looming government shutdown amid internal disputes about whether to go forward with an inquiry into Biden.

Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy, R-CA, opened this investigation to appease his far-right colleagues in the House after continuous threats of his removal as Speaker. Their fury over big spending and an inability to make agreements is linked to a looming government shutdown at the end of the month. This pressure has been bubbling up ever since January, when only after making agreements with the ultraconservatives of the House was McCarthy able to be elected Speaker after 15 ballots.

According to Reuters, some of these accusations come on the basis of the following: Biden having supposedly profited from his son, Hunter Biden’s, business dealings and

pressuring Ukraine into removal of a former Prosecutor General—both while he was vice president—as well as claims of political interference in Hunter’s federal investigation. However, there has not been any evidence of criminality on the part of Biden himself.

The inquiry builds on the encouragement of former President Trump, who has publicly and privately encouraged House Republicans, according to CNN. Some of these have included a phone call with Rep. Elise Stefanik, R-NY, and dinner with Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-GA. “However, multiple sources said that whether he was forcing the issue or not, the impeachment was inevitably linked to Trump,” the CNN article reported. In the same article, Rep. Ken Buck, R-CO, said, “When President Trump speaks, there’s a whole a lot of activists that get on board and the activists make their members aware of that. And so directly or indirectly, this impeachment inquiry was a result of President Trump’s pressure.” Republicans are not looking for the truth, but a political advantage. Following four criminal indictments amounting to a whopping 91 felony charges and two impeachments during his tenure, the hard-right loyalists of Trump are fixated on enacting revenge for their leader.

When Greene took to X, formerly known as Twitter, as she often does, to spout rhetoric for her followers to gobble up, she restated her pledge to not vote to fund the government if Congress does not go forward with voting on the impeachment inquiry into Biden. Furthermore, Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-FL,

took to the House floor to criticize McCarthy and threaten his removal for his inability to comply with the demands of rejecting budget resolutions and investigating the Biden family’s alleged criminality, per C-SPAN.

Meanwhile, Biden brushed off the inquiry, expressing his understanding of the investigation as a part of their desire to shut down the government, as reported by AP News.

However, some Republicans are really convinced that Biden has done something wrong, despite an inability to present concrete evidence. During a House Freedom Caucus press conference, Rep. Scott Perry, R-PA, provided a heartfelt and angry, yet evidence-free, response to a reporter’s question about actual evidence, rather than just allegations, that would warrant an impeachment inquiry, as seen in footage produced by C-SPAN.

The search for incriminating evidence is not new. During Biden’s tenure, there have been multiple efforts by members of the GOP to impeach him. Just this past May, Greene introduced another article of impeachment against Biden for his handling of migration at the southern border, after having made many other attempts. Greene is the same person who submitted the first impeachment resolution on the first full day of Biden’s presidency, so a question of legitimacy is evident. From a House Republican report in May, after months of investigations, there was no proof of misconduct, according to The New York Times

To date, they have found nothing. Republicans have only used these claims to distract the public from their glorious leader’s fall from power. Sure, maybe evidence can be found, but for now, as reported by NPR, “House Speaker Kevin McCarthy has defended launching the impeachment inquiry in the absence of hard evidence, saying that finding evidence is the point of the inquiry.” This might be their best bet in finding wrongdoings of Biden, and some GOP officials may be hoping that taking the next step with an impeachment inquiry will intensify the search for evidence that does not exist.

The immense contradictions of the Republican Party’s dysfunctionality are evident once again. In 2019 when Nancy Pelosi, then Speaker of the House, brought about the first impeachment inquiry of Trump, McCarthy, who at the time was the minority leader, claimed on X that “Speaker Pelosi can’t decide on impeachment unilaterally. It requires a full vote of the House of Representatives.” Pelosi did eventually have an entire House vote, but McCarthy does not have the votes to do the same with Biden.

If solid evidence of misconduct and wrongdoings existed, in line with what existed for the previously investigated presidents, then proceeding forward with impeachment would be absolutely appropriate. However, in the absence of evidence, an inquiry is an abuse of power. Trump’s far-right fringe is exploiting the power they hold for their own gain and attempting to shut down the government as part of their revengeful ploy.

The government shutdown will kill people

Britt Andrade Columnist

There are six-and-a-half days until the possibility of a government shutdown becomes a reality. Two days when this goes to live for everyone to read. Government shutdowns have unfortunately become a dime a dozen, with a new threat of one every fiscal year. They have become the hallmark of a vastly divided government poring over the ledger of the American budget for attention in the news cycle. In fact it is so common that I am fairly certain I wrote a similar article last year about the need to reach across party lines and find avenues of compromise to avoid future shutdowns. Obviously the members of Congress did not read my average college newspaper article and find inspiration, because here we are once again, being held hostage by a minority within the government. Rather than talk about the importance of bipartisanship, I want to talk about what a government shut-

down will cost us. More than money, the government shutdown will cost us lives.

As always, we start with the military and federal government as they use the largest portion of the federal budget. Military and government employees would be expected to work without pay until the budget is passed. According to a report from the Rand Corporation, a little over 25 percent of the military is food insecure, and housing inequality has long plagued the military-industrial complex. This, coupled with the fact that 68 percent of active duty service members live paycheck to paycheck, as reported by the Online Lenders Alliance, creates an image of fiscal instability in the ranks of our national defense.

Lack of funds will not just affect service members either—it will affect their families, their children, even their pets. Families without access to food will not be able to lead healthy lives, and service members who are required to meet certain fitness levels especially will be at a higher risk of

health related issues. If the shutdown lasts longer than a month, families will begin to face evictions, as many live in off-base housing. Social programs like SNAP will also begin to be affected as guaranteed funding sources begin to dry up or be deviated to other critical needs of government spending. Furloughed federal employees will not even receive compensation after the shutdown is over, forcing many to rely on emergency savings and credit to get through the financial burden of a furlough. Unemployment rates rising, even for a short period of time, will put undue stress on programs and services that may also be experiencing freezes, meaning people who are unprepared will be impacted two fold by the loss of income and lack of access to resources. Also, as unemployment rises, so does the mortality rate. Many of us know the scene from “The Big Short” where Brad Pitt’s character scolds two opportunistic millionaires that for every one percent that unemployment increases, 40,000 people

die. The film is a fictitious look at the 2008 housing crisis and the statistic comes from a 1980s book titled “Corporate Flight: The Causes and Consequences of Economic Dislocation.” But the data is correct. Whether due to stress created from uncertainty or a lack of access to healthy resources, as unemployment goes up so does the death rate.

Congress is not going to go hungry. Most of them have a net worth in the millions or higher, and they continue to get paid during the shutdown. But they will hold us hostage, demanding policies and ideas that a majority of the country does not agree with. People will die and that will be on them. This is not the time for a publicity stunt or a voter grab to show people that you stand by your convictions. These are real people who will live and die by the choices made by politicians hundreds or even thousands of miles away. Those politicians will never read my article, but I see them, and they should be ashamed that their hubris is going to get someone killed.

NFL Week Three sees Cowboys stumble, Dolphins soar

Henry France Guest Reporter

WeekThree in the NFL season was a week of reckoning for quarterbacks. A number of select players proved their worth, cementing a case for them to be the league’s Most Valuable Player (MVP), while some had their job security called into question. In a sport that revolves around a singular person, we saw the true importance of having a solid quarterback. With the opportunity to break the NFL single-game points record with a field goal, Miami Dolphins Head Coach Mike McDaniel opted to let the clock run out, accepting the 70-20 victory over the Denver Broncos, who remain winless. The decision was a classy move by McDaniel in what was an embarrassing game for Denver—the Broncos experiment seems to be officially over, even with the addition of Head Coach Sean Payton. Meanwhile, Miami quarterback Tua Tagovailoa—who finished going 23 of 26 with 309 yards and four touchdowns— continued to establish his MVP case as he led the Dolphins offense to five passing touchdowns and five rushing touchdowns in the same game, an NFL first. The Dolphins offense also recorded more than 700 yards of offense, which had not happened since the Rams did so in 1951. Maybe most impressively, the Dolphins did it all with-

out star wideout Jaylen Waddle.

At Lambeau Field, Green Bay Packers quarterback Jordan Love started his first game in Green Bay and kept it interesting, mounting a 17-point comeback against the New Orleans Saints, who entered the contest looking to continue their undefeated season.

In Phoenix, the Dallas Cowboys had similar intentions coming into their matchup as the overwhelming favorites against the Arizona Cardinals. That is, until Arizona exposed Dallas’ underdeveloped offense. Cardinals quarterback Joshua Dobbs capitalized on Dallas’ struggles to give Cardinals first-year Head Coach Jonathan Gannon his first win with the team.

With Taylor Swift (tight end Travis Kelce’s rumored girlfriend?) in attendance, the Kansas City Chiefs played all too well against the blank space that is the Chicago Bears. Chicago could only have snatched a victory against the reigning champs in their wildest dreams and fell 41-10 to Kansas City. The Bears’ problems this past week even extended off the field as their Defensive Coordinator Alan Williams resigned. Thankfully, the Broncos ensured that the Bears were not the worst team this week. Unfortunately for football fans around the world, the Broncos and Bears might be a week away from putting on the most disgusting exhibition of athleticism

in the history of sports—the two teams face off next Sunday.

In Florida, the Houston Texans upset the Jacksonville Jaguars 37-17 thanks to an impressive performance from rookie quarterback CJ Stroud—20-for-30 with 280 yards and two touchdowns. Many in the league laughed at the Texans after they fought hard in Week 18 last year, beating the Indianapolis Colts only to forfeit their first overall draft spot. But the win over the Colts last season was ultimately more critical than most would have thought; it enabled Houston to select their new leader, CJ Stroud, who became just the third quarterback in NFL history to throw for at least 900 yards in his first three starts on Sunday.

The Minnesota Vikings and Los Angeles Chargers faced off with both teams looking to escape a 0-3 start to their seasons after finishing with a winning record in 2022. Luckily for the undermanned Chargers— who were missing star running back Austin Ekeler—the Vikings came up short in the waning minutes of the game, which is an uncommon occurrence for a Minnesota team that was 11-0 last season in one-score games. The Vikings should pick up some momentum next week against the also winless Carolina Panthers.

Sunday night, the Pittsburgh Steelers upset the Las Vegas Raiders in another im-

pressive showing from Pittsburgh’s defense (four sacks and three interceptions). Most important from Sunday night’s game for Steelers fans was that quarterback Kenny Pickett played well, efficiently posting 235 passing yards and two touchdowns on 16 of 28 passing in a rare showing of offensive proficiency for Pittsburgh.

Looking ahead to Week Four, the Buffalo Bills and Miami Dolphins will be facing off in Orchard Park, New York, in an exciting offensive shootout. Miami looks to extend their undefeated season while the Cardinals take on the undefeated 49ers in a true test of their ability after defeating the highly rated Cowboys.

As the season gets underway and strengths and weaknesses are exposed, a few things are becoming clear: The Miami Dolphins have a juggernaut of an offense and are a force to be reckoned with, and the Kansas City Chiefs are still going to be hard to beat. Meanwhile, the race to tank for the top draft pick has kicked off with the Bears, Panthers and Cardinals all in the running for USC quarterback Caleb Williams. But count teams out at your own risk. Last year the Detroit Lions started 1-6 and still managed to go on an 8-2 run to end the season. Which team will emerge from their struggles? Which team will slip down in the standings? And how will Caleb Williams fit into the Bears offense?

The Miscellany Games

Category Match

CATEGORY MATCH INSTRUCTIONS

In the word bank below, there are 16 words that belong to four categories. Each word belongs to only one category. You don’t know which words belong together, nor do you know what the categories are! Try to find similarities between them, and place them into four categories below. Answers (which words belong together, as well as the categories they belong to) will be revealed in next week’s issue. Have fun!

Example category:

By William Flachmeyer

WORD BANK

ACADIA RAYA GARDENIA MATCH

SEQUOIA AURORA LAVENDER

HINGE GLACIER JASMINE

TINDER YOSEMITE TIANA

BERGAMOT ROSE BUMBLE

By Sadie Keesbury

WORD BANK

CANDLE TOWEL CASH

SPACESHIP CAR LICENSE

SHREDDER COIN SCOOTER

AIRPLANE CREDIT CARD

SHOOTING STAR TRAIN 11:11

VCARD PLATE

Answers to last week’s puzzles:

By Miranda Chen By Benjamin Ryan

By Felix Mundy-Mancino

1: Toyota Car Models: COROLLA PRIUS TACOMA HIGHLANDER

The Miscellany Crossword

“The Oven Just Beeped…”

By Sadie Keesbury

ACROSS

1. Lion’s hairstyle

5. Unfeeling

9. Once around a track

12. Double reed woodwind instrument

13. Location 14. Sack 15. Elephant’s tooth

39. Bright Eyes song with the opening lyric “I know that it is freezing but I think we have to walk”

40. Article that might be published in the section of The Misc that Sufana Noorwez edits (for short).

42. Some say you can never trust one, because they make up everything?

43. Like Odin, Loki or Thor

45. Certain citation guideline, for short

46. Amount received, as money 50. One in a Neopolitan spread 54. Red, blue or magenta

55. Big group

57. Place to do experiments, for short

58. Dean Luis _____, Vassar’s Associate Dean of the College

59. Move vigorously

60. Umami ingredient

61. Praise

62. One attempt at filming

63. The opposite of a base

64. “___ out!” (ump’s cry)

65. Hope, in Latin

66. Dessert for which this puzzle’s

starred clues (16A, 23A, 28A and 48D) are integral ingredients

DOWN

1. Repeating symbol in literature

2. Use inappropriately

3. Throwback feeling

4. Scared noise

5. Tummy-turning sensation

6. Inclination

7. Not nice, or average?

8. “A guy walks into a _____”

9. The _____ (Vassar sketch comedy group)

10. Emerge

11. Third to Paul and Mary

14. Impressive act

16. Knighthood title

19. Low point

20. “This _____!”

22. Throw softly

23. Buzzing bug

26. Requirements

27. Academic stat

28. Language learner’s subject, for short

29. D.C. School named after the first U.S. President

31. “Enter Sandman” band

32. “_____ Te Ching,” text credited to Laozi

33. Thing between your shoulder and your wrist

35. Respect

36. To be in Spanish, as the time or occupations

38. Big _____, David Ortiz’s nickname

41. Bang!

44. Recalls to mind

45. Also

46. Not in a friendly way

47. The ninth day before the Ides in a Roman calendar

48. Alternative to corn, for tortillas*

49. Cargo

51. Wonder

52. Common eye surgery, for short

53. Welcome to my humble _____

55. British fellow

56. Leaf moving instrument

59. Ave. crossers, or a Vassar major

60. Big _____ (burger) or _____book (computer)

More Miscellany Games Inside!