The Miscellany News
April 10, 2025
Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866
Volume 163 | Issue 8
Vassar adheres to Trump Title IX policies
Emma Brown News Editor
Vassar College’s Title IX department, recently renamed the Office for Institutional Equity, explained in a March 6 email to students that it will be reverting back to the Department of Education’s (DOE) Title IX standards and definitions from 2020, pursuant to a memo from the Trump administration’s DOE Office of Civil Rights.
The letter, sent on Feb. 4 by Acting Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights Craig Trainor, detailed how, in light of a ruling in Tennessee v. Cardona by the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Kentucky, the 2024 Title IX rules established by the Biden administration were vacated. As a result, the regulatory framework for Title IX enforcement has been reverted back to the Trump administration’s 2020 rules. Most notably, the return to the 2020 rules signals a change in Title IX’s definition of sexual harassment. However, the 2024 Title IX policies were only in effect from August 2024 through January 2025, meaning all deviations were fairly temporary. While the Biden administration’s DOE defined the standard for sexual harassment in schools as needing to be “subjectively and objectively offensive” and “sufficiently severe or pervasive,” the Trump administration has ordered schools to return to the “severe, pervasive, and objectively offensive” standard. The change
VSA
elections
Mariya
Novosad ’26 and Matteo Tavarez ’26 were elected President and Vice President, respectively, of the Vassar Student Association (VSA) in this year’s annual student body election on March 6 at 5 p.m. in the Old College Bookstore. The rising seniors will officially take office at the first meeting of the VSA’s 157th Senate on May 4, 2025, and will serve in their roles until the end of the next academic year. Roughly onethird of the student body participated in the election, with 849 students having cast their vote.
In an interview with The Miscellany News, Novosad and Tavarez spoke about their objectives and the policies they hope to implement in the upcoming year. Novosad said of what to expect for next year, “More student-run places, more student-run initiatives.” The incoming administration discussed their goal of transforming the current admissions building into a student center run by students, once construction is completed on the new admissions building—the Dede Thompson Bartlett Center for Admission and Career Education—which is currently set to open in Fall 2025. Additionally, Novosad and Tavarez aim
See VSA on page 4
restricts what behavior can be considered for investigation under Title IX, effectively limiting the standard for what qualifies as sexual harassment.
Because Vassar receives federal funding, the College has chosen to abide by the
Trump administration’s new standard and has updated its definition accordingly. In an email sent to students by Assistant Vice President for Institutional Equity and Title IX Coordinator Belinda Guthrie and Faculty Director of Affirmative Action Jeffrey
Schneider, the College explained their decision: “In February 2025, the U.S. Department of Education reinstated the 2020 Title IX regulations introduced during the first Trump administration. As a result, federally-funded schools must update their Title IX policies. Vassar’s Title IX Policy and resolution procedures are being updated as follows.”
Vassar administrators, however, have emphasized that the changes to the sexual harassment definition will not substantially alter how the College deals with instances of sexual harassment because of other policies that Vassar has in place, such as the College’s Interim Policy Against Discrimination, Harassment and Sexual Misconduct, which went into effect Aug. 1, 2024, and Vassar’s longstanding Nondiscrimination Policy.
“Even when [the Trump administration’s] definition was in place in 2020, colleges and universities like Vassar continued to address sexual harassment that did not meet that ‘severe and pervasive’ threshold,” said Guthrie in an interview with The Miscellany News. “That’s where the College also has that flexibility to address other conduct that falls outside the scope of Title IX.”
Despite administrators’ reassurances, some members of the Vassar community remain concerned about the new sexual harassment definition’s potential impact. “I
Immigration summit informs community
OnSaturday, April 5, Vassar College hosted “Bridging Academia and Advocacy: Hudson Valley Immigration and Leadership Summit,” a half-day event aimed at spreading resources and awareness amid the changing landscape of immigration policy. The event was conceptualized by Owen McGarry ’25 and planned alongside Amaris Hall ’25; it included nearly a dozen local organizations and 10 speakers from the Hudson Valley and Washington, D.C. Throughout the course of the afternoon, over 100 students and community members attended the event in Rockefeller Hall 200.
The idea for the event grew from McGarry’s experience volunteering in Poughkeepsie’s Latine community; he has been working at the free English classroom taught by Stephen Haff at Christ Episcopal Church for about three years. When, earlier this semester, the church announced protocol for potential Immigration Customs Enforcement (ICE) raids, McGarry said, “I was really taken aback, and I wanted to know what we were doing as an institution, what was Vassar doing, and I asked.” Not satisfied with what he found, McGarry started by reaching out to community organizations to ask what they needed and how the College
community could help. He emphasized the importance of approaching these conversations with humility and openness to build trust, noting, “Once you have your foot in the door, it’s amazing the way that these conversations build on one another.”
McGarry connected with Hall based on her interests as co-president of the Vassar Law Club. They then worked together with Jannette Swanson at the Center for Career Education to apply for funding through Engaged Pluralism’s Igniter Pitches. Both McGarry and Hall noted how instrumental this support was, with McGarry saying, “I think that organizing within the College gives you a lot of access to money and intellectual capital and organizing experience that you wouldn’t really have access to otherwise.”
The summit included testimonials from teenage members of the Youth Arts Group (YAG) on the importance of political art, a keynote address by YAG alumna and political organizer Maria Christina Martinez, a presentation on how immigration law has changed under the Trump administration and two panels, one on legal perspectives for migrant support and one on grassroots service work with migrants.
Panel speakers consistently noted that while immigration law has not substantially changed under the Trump administration, the scope and tools of enforcement
have greatly increased. Immigration lawyers who spoke at the event described how President Donald Trump has given ICE wide discretion to arrest non-citizens at courthouses, schools and churches, as well as to bypass due process—the rights those accused of a crime are guaranteed before being convicted—by using the 1798 Alien Enemies Act, which has historically been used against U.S. residents from countries with which the United States is actively at war. Robert Horne, the founder of the Hudson Valley Regional Immigration Assistance Center, clarified during the event that the Protect Our Courts Act shields individuals in courthouses from civil arrests in New York State. Sabrina Surgil ’21, a deportation defense attorney on the first panel, said of immigration law under Trump, “It feels like everything is more chaotic and less transparent.”
Another way Trump has bypassed due process for immigrants is the 2025 Laken Riley Act, which mandates detention of immigrants accused of theft, assaulting a law enforcement officer or any other crime that causes death or bodily injury. To be subject to mandatory detention, immigrants need only be accused, not convicted, of a crime, thereby depriving them of the right to a fair trial. During the second panel, Amanda
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Sarah McNeil News Editor
Clara Alger, Julian Balsley Managing Editor, Assistant News Editor
See Summit on page 3
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See Title IX on page 3
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Trump administration modifies Title IX policies
Continued from Title IX on page 1 feel like this could discourage people from coming forward given that they might have concerns that their experience might not meet the Trump administration’s new threshold,” said Michelle Itkin ’26. In a written correspondence with The Miscellany News, Vassar Voices for Planned Parenthood (VVPP) noted: “While it is hard to say what impact this will have of students who are victims of sexual harassment because the college has not offered a more comprehensive definition, it seems like the college is deliberately not trying to advertise the change and we believe that this is shutting down the opportunity for dialogue. We are deeply concerned about the change from ‘subjectively and objectively offensive’ to ‘objectively’ offensive and we believe it will make survivors more apprehensive to come forward.”
Pursuant to the Dear Colleague letter, Vassar will also revert back to using live virtual hearings as a part of the Title IX complaint process. Guthrie explained that starting in 2021, Vassar moved away from an in-person hearing model, partially based on responses from an ad hoc committee consisting of students, faculty and administrators, electing to move such events to a virtual setting in order to create a less adversarial environment.
“At the time there was both excitement and consensus [for] moving away from the [broader] live hearing model which was mandated under the 2020 regulations for sexual harrassment and other forms of sexual misconduct, which includes sexual assault, domestic and dating violence and
sex-based stalking,” said Guthrie.
After the decision to switch to virtual hearings in 2021, as of August 2024, Vassar had departed from the hearing format altogether. Vassar’s current policy regarding fact-finding in Title IX cases is to outsource findings to an impartial external investigator. The Office for Institutional Equity also works with investigators who are part of the institutional equity team, in addition to external investigators, in an effort to manage the office’s caseload.
Now, if a student comes forward with allegations of sexual misconduct and decides to participate in the formalized Title IX process, there will also be a live hearing on Zoom during which the parties’ advisors will conduct cross-examinations. This change has prompted concerns from administrators involved in supporting students through the Title IX process. Allison Jasso, the Support, Advocacy & Violence Prevention (SAVP) office’s Program Coordinator and Survivor Advocate, emphasized in an interview with The Miscellany News that these live virtual hearings can re-traumatize students who have experienced sexual misconduct. Jasso also explained that in her experience working with people considering participating in a Title IX investigation, live hearings can often deter students from continuing with the process.
The Dear Colleague letter also explained the effect of Donald Trump’s Jan. 20 executive order, “Defending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government,” on educational policies. The executive order requires all agencies and depart-
ments under the purview of the Executive Branch, including the DOE, to promote the idea that there are two unchangeable sexes through all sex-protective laws, including Title IX.
Guthrie explained: “What didn’t change is that even though the rollback to the 2020 regulations removed [Title IX] protections on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity and expression, Vassar has long recognized and will continue to extend full non-discrimination protections to the community based on sexual orientation.”
Following the executive order, the Trump administration froze $175 million of federal funding from the University of Pennsylvania for allowing a transgender athlete to participate in the university’s varsity sports program in 2022, causing worry about how the administration’s hostility towards transgender athletes might impact Vassar students more broadly. While Guthrie noted that students should not be immediately concerned about their rights being stripped away, she did explain that Vassar will need to abide by National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) regulations regarding participation in sports competitions, which could potentially change during the Trump administration’s tenure.
As a college in New York State, Vassar and its students are subject to state-level protections that prohibit sex and sexual orientation-based discrimination. The state’s 2019 Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act (GENDA) amended New York State Human Rights Law (HRL) to include gender identity or expression as a protect-
ed class in all justiciable areas, including schools. Similarly, New York State’s 2003 Sexual Orientation Non-Discrimination Act (SONDA) prohibits discrimination on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation. The Office of the New York State Attorney General’s website explains, “SONDA applies when a transgender person is discriminated against based upon his or her actual or perceived sexual orientation. In addition, courts in the State have held that transgender people are protected under other provisions of the Human Rights Law, including prohibitions against discrimination on the basis of sex and/or disability.” While New York State laws provide some protections for students, participation in national organizations such as the NCAA will be subject to the respective organizations’ regulations.
In light of the changes to Vassar’s Title IX policies, offices and organizations on campus have reaffirmed their commitment to supporting students who have experienced sexual misconduct. Jasso explained that SAVP is a constant source of support for students that will continue to provide guidance during the Title IX process. “To do anything else would honestly be violent,” said Jasso. Similarly, VVPP noted, “We will continue making sure that the sexual/reproductive health services being provided to students through our campus health center will continue. Our mission is to inform people about the resources available to them when making decisions about their bodies and we will continue to do that in partnership with Planned Parenthood and the health providers on campus.”
Immigration summit discusses ICE, advocacy
Sullivan ’91, the Director of Refugee Services at Jewish Vocational Service Boston, called the act immigration law’s first substantial change in 30 years as most previous changes came from executive orders, which are reversible. A community member in attendance, Valerie Carlisle of Grannies Respond, a grassroots organization working to reunite migrant families, told The Miscellany News, “During the first panel I was scribbling down a lot of things, because even though immigration law hasn’t changed as much there’s always these new nuances to how they’re using it.”
Robert Fuchs, another panelist and immigration lawyer for over 30 years, said that the current changes are indicative of more to come: “The biggest change has been lack of due process… It starts with immigrants and then it comes to you.” Vassar Assistant Professor of History Daniel Mendiola, who moderated the first panel, said that under Trump, “We are seeing a startling escalation in cruelty and injustice.” He emphasized that this is only an intensification of an extensive history: “Our immigration system in this country has long been cruel and problematic.”
Another common theme was immigrants’ role as workers in the United States. Fuchs said during the first panel, “The country needs immigrants as much as immigrants need the U.S.” Surgil commented, “People are more than just workers.” They added that non-citizens are deserving of help not because they will help the U.S. economy but because all people have inherent worth.
Participants of both panels emphasized that breaking down this limited view of im-
migrants requires spending time in local migrant communities. Susie Ximenez, the Executive Director of Adelante Student Voices, which has a summer program at Vassar that helps undocumented students access higher education, counseled students to take any opportunity to leave the Vassar bubble and be in community with their migrant neighbors. Non-citizens want to be members of a larger community, she said, not just a workforce for citizens. On the second panel, Enrique Rob Lunski of ABClatino expressed a similar sentiment. Part of the stigma around the Latin American community, he said, is that the term “Latino” collapses a variety of Latin American identities into a monolith.
“You have to know the group before you can help them effectively,” he said.
Echoing McGarry’s reflections about the importance of word of mouth connections, many of the community organizers on the panels emphasized the value of collaboration across organizations. Second panel member Inginia Jackson of Camino al Éxito noted the work is about connecting and broadening access to resources: “Creating access to information is the key right now.”
Common issues panelists expressed the need for included legal services, English education, housing and medical help.
After the summit, Ximenez elaborated on the need for students to get involved in local organizing. “We definitely need more college students to show up, even if it’s sometimes just signing onto the Care Campaign or signing on to something. But it’s those little, small steps and initiatives that will [be] an introductory to advocacy,” she said.
Student attendees commented on the timeliness of the event, with Jane Hur-
ley ’27 noting, “I think campus organizing right now has been really difficult due to the recent onslaught of events in the Trump administration, and as crisis piles onto crisis, it’s been difficult to parse out where to organize.” She continued, “And so, seeing this event that specifically addresses what’s happening right now with immigration, and that creates access to organizational strategies within the Poughkeepsie community, and bridges access to this information between students, faculty and community members, is I think really important right now for addressing the Trump administra-
tion on campus.”
McGarry emphasized that in the end, “I wanted to make sure that everyone who came and felt concerned about the way that migration policy is affecting and destroying families within our community, that they knew they didn’t have to do it all themselves.” Hall added, “This was such an incredibly rewarding experience and I could not have asked for this event to go better.” She concluded the interview with a reminder about what students can achieve, saying, “All of this started because one student emailed one organization.”
Continued from Summit on page 1
Clara Alger/The Miscellany News.
Student Body elects President and Vice President
to make their administration one of change and community care: “I definitely want us to be taking care of each other and looking out for each other more and understanding that we aren’t moving through our four years here—or however many years you’re here— with malicious intent and that we actually are a community that looks out for each other and really want to see each other thrive,” Novosad explained. They continued, “This country is very individualistic, very much based in racial capitalism, very much is going towards a fascist, white supremacy–loving kind of way of life and being able to break apart from that individualistic style of living and existing on a shared living space, and learning space, is really important to us.”
For Novosad, the role of VSA President was not one she had anticipated: “I had no plans of becoming President or running for the VSA.” Novosad originally began as Tavarez’s campaign manager until Tavarez asked her to be their running mate. Tavarez shared, “I started thinking about someone who could work with members of the [College’s] administration and maybe have a relationship with them in some capacity, someone who I know would be tough on the positions we want to try to push forward while understanding there’s a fine line of balance that needs to be kept at this institution.” They continued, “I thought it would be best that I ran as Vice President and Mariya ran as President due to my, again, knowledge of the constitution and the bylaws and the governing documents of the VSA, especially because of my role within operations, now known as internal affairs.” Tavarez has been a member of the VSA for three years, having served as a class senator their first year, the Director of Communications their sophomore year and currently as the Equity Executive.
Novosad is not the only VSA upper executive member to be elected without formal experience within the association prior to assuming their role. The incumbents, President Emily Doucet ’25 and Vice President Miles Harris ’25 shared in a joint written correspondence with The Miscellany News: “This actually is not the first time incoming leadership has had no prior experience, and historically it has been a pretty mixed bag. My freshman year, the incoming Vice President had no previous experience aside from being a treasurer for an org and he was amazing. He rose to the challenge and was the
person that brought us the original VWASH bill. On the other hand there have also been instances where people with no prior experience have struggled to find success, like our president in 2019 who never really found his footing. We think it depends.”
This year’s race had three tickets on the ballot, including two former Class of 2026 senators Connor Dalgaard and Karolina Naidon, and two members of the Class of 2028 Salma Muhammad Al-Sheabani and Dathan Montera. Class of 2025 Senator Elena Miralles said in a written statement to The Miscellany News, “I’m disappointed that Connor and Karolina didn’t win, especially given their experience and the consistency they’ve shown in serving students. That said, I recognize that the winning candidates put forward a noble platform, and I respect the student body’s decision. While I do have concerns about their level of experience, I’m hopeful that they’ll grow into the roles and rise to the challenge.”
While Novosad has not had formal experience within the VSA, she has worked with the VSA and administration on previous legislation such as last year’s Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions Bill (BDS) which was blocked from reaching the Senate floor for a vote after the College informed VSA members the bill could open the College up to external litigation. In 2016, former New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo issued Executive Order 157, directing state entities to withdraw public funding from any organization that supports BDS legislation. Tavarez, who additionally worked on the BDS legislation, shared, “I also think that folks overlook the bills that have been passed already within the VSA, even before we were in office—The Equitable [Organization] Purchasing Forum.” Tavarez explained this legislation gives Vassar organizations the autonomy to decide whether or not to sign onto boycotts and places accountability on the organization itself. They continued, “I think there’s a lot of overlooking of what the VSA already has to offer and the powers of the VSA. What we hope to do is continue what the VSA has been doing and strive for more.”
For some voters, Novosad and Tavarez’s experience was what gained their support. Novosad commented, “A lot of people who ended up being our strongest and most vocal supporters are people who are distrusting of the VSA and who have had negative experiences working with other elected representatives of the association. It was really exciting
to have people come behind us and rally and really want us to win because they saw us bringing a new, fresh perspective to the association.”
In a interview with The Miscellany News, Noah Duncan ’27, who voted for Novosad and Tavarez, shared why he chose to support them, “Their platform definitely spoke to, very specifically, to some of the grievances that I feel like a lot of students have had with the administration and a lot of, kind of, the protests and political unrest that’s been happening on campus. I felt like in that way they definitely spoke for the student body in a really compelling way.” They continued, “For me this was sort of about, you know, speaking to the disillusionment I think that a lot of students have very broadly felt, that’s been my perception at least, and the serious ways in which students feel like their opinions are not being expressed or even heard by the College and I’m optimistic that this new administration can help to rectify that and become a real grassroots voice.”
Cai Hellman ’25 shared in a written correspondence, “I voted for Mariya and Mateo because I trust them to advocate for the student body’s wishes and push the administration to do more. I also love their promise to implement more student-led spaces like bringing back Matthew’s Bean, the pub-style mug, and creating a student union center.”
The transition of power has already be-
gun, with incumbent officials assisting with job shadowing, bonding activities and the creation of guides for newly elected VSA members. Doucet and Harris shared, “I think what we hope to see most of all is a deep commitment to further the advocacy goals of the VSA they preside over. We hope that VSA officials and students alike can depend on the incoming leadership to work towards the betterment of Vassar College.”
Miralles said in response to the election results, “I think this election highlighted how invested students are in the future of Vassar, and that in itself is encouraging.” Given Novosad’s and Tavarez’s experience with crafting the BDS legislation, Miralles added, “It also underscored just how important Palestine is to the student body, and how deeply many of us are thinking about the ways higher education in the United States implicates itself in genocide and other systems of oppression.”
Novosad and Tavarez hope that students feel empowered to engage in community dialogue. Tavarez commented, “I welcome people to come to Senate and come to [the] VSA office.” They continued, “Even if you think we’ll disagree with you based off [of] what you heard or know about our positionality, we are your VSA President and Vice President and we want to serve everybody. It’s important that those avenues of dialogue are open and that folks can come.”
Image courtesy of Mariya Novosad ’26.
White Lotus season three garners mixed reactions
Maryam Bacchus Senior Editor
[SPOILERS AHEAD]
No series has embodied the principle of Chekhov’s gun as well as HBO’s “The White Lotus”—most recently with literal guns. Each season of the anthology is set at a different location of the fictional elite hotel chain The White Lotus and follows the weeklong stay of several groups of wealthy guests. Importantly, the first episode always begins with an anonymous death, which the subsequent episodes build up to.
Set in Thailand, season three began with a shootout and the visual of seemingly one body floating in the water. Contrary to other seasons, a majority of the characters this season had morbid plot lines, and the finale was full of characters’ direct references to their desire or destiny to die, which quickly became notable because of the show’s notoriety for placing red herrings. The recurrence of guns throughout the season left me wondering which weapon(s) would inevitably be at the helm of the final death.
Perhaps the scene that most embodied reality was the confessions of Laurie (Carrie Coon), Jaclyn (Michelle Monaghan), and Kate (Leslie Bibb). After consistently lashing out at one another, it appeared likely that at least one member of the insufferable trio would die. But the three reconcile during breakfast on their last morning. Jaclyn and Kate express happiness and gratitude for the trip, and Laurie confesses to feeling sad for most of it. Yet, she reflects on these feelings, and importantly notes that in comparing
herself to her friends, she found meaning in the quality time they have spent together throughout their lives, especially on the trip. I found this to be particularly significant, as each of the group acknowledged the flaws in their friendships and themselves.
The girls’ vacation flings—Valentin and friends—also escaped, as Gaitok did not tell anyone that they orchestrated the robbery. I briefly considered that when Valentin realized Gaitok knew, he or his friends would shoot him to keep the story under wraps. Strategically, Valentin played to Gaitok’s naivete, and in the end, the latter proved his masculinity by killing Rick in place of admitting to the robbery. This makes a certain amount of sense, as Gaitok was able to protect fellow working-class individuals yet still come out looking like a hero.
Unfortunately, my prediction came true, and Rick’s (Walton Goggins) lover Chelsea (Aimee Lou Wood) became collateral in his revenge arc during the shootout after he killed Jim Hollinger (Scott Glenn). Throughout the season, Chelsea is convinced something bad will happen to her and expresses this aloud. She is in the boutique when it is robbed and is later bitten by a snake, which inspires her to repeatedly exclaim that bad things happen in threes. Chelsea also admits several times that she thinks she is going to die—which seems like an obvious red herring—but because her fate is tied to Rick, this prophecy comes true.
Surprisingly, it was not revealed that Hollinger was Rick’s father until after the former was killed. An initial theory I had was that Hollinger would send police or guards to seize Rick after their altercation
at Jim’s house. Yet, the way that the plot unfolded was true to Rick’s character flaws: He could not restrain his impulses, and Chelsea stood by his side unconditionally. He lost his only living family alongside the only person who he truly cared about. In the end, there was nothing left for him, so it makes sense that he died.
Given that his gun was the primary weapon visible during the season, I was surprised that Gaitok lived. Yet, it does make sense that in the end, he was the one to fire the weapon, ending his moral crisis of whether or not he could kill someone if necessary. Importantly, he hesitates prior to shooting Rick. In the end, he gets the life he wants with Mook, and earns a promotion to bodyguard for Jim’s widow, Sritala (Patravadi Mejudhon).
Most frustrating to me was that early on in the finale, Mook became disinterested in him when he expressed the desire to step down from his position due to self-doubt. She appeared to only value his material successes and potential to act violent, which is why she goes back to him in the end.
Belinda’s (Natasha Rothwell) storyline also upset me until her goodbye scene with Pornchai (Dom Hetrakul). She was initially able to hold her own against Gary (Jon Gries), but caved to $5 million worth of hush money. Her goodbye scene with Pornchai mirrors the sentiments expressed by Tanya McQuoid (Jennifer Coolidge) during her departure in season one—displaying the vicious cycle practiced by people with money. On the other hand, Gary is left to live out his days in the company of Chloe (Charlotte Le Bon). Thus far, he is the only character to
appear in all three seasons, which leaves me wondering whether he will pop up again in season four.
The Ratliff family was highest up on many people’s lists of characters who were slated to die, yet they all made it out alive. Having set it up in the previous episode, Piper (Sarah Catherine Hook) owned up to her privilege, and her change of heart against staying at the meditation center was predictable but frustrating nonetheless. Saxon (Patrick Schwarznegger) recognized and spoke about his trauma, which was antithetical to his superficiality and the ego he built up in episodes prior. Lochlan’s (Sam Nivola) attempt to become a man cost him a near-death experience as a result of Timothy’s poison attempt, although the latter’s intent was only to save the former. Victoria (Parker Posey), still blissfully unaware of her family’s destiny, rejoices in her daughter’s conclusion, and merrily embarks on the journey home.
Creator, writer and director Mike White has indeed done it again. While the first seven episodes of this season felt more obvious than previous, the finale showcased the true colors of each character and once again offered a realistic conclusion of their destinies. This ending is what sets season three apart from the previous: No deaths were random, yet the guessing game leading up to the inevitable shootout was ever-changing. Many main characters also underwent a significant change from who they appeared to be at the start of the show, and those who did not—Chelsea and Rick—suffered as a result. For those who have not yet tapped into the series, there is no time like the present.
Editor discusses the beauty of Yes’ sincerity
Jesse Koblin Contributing Editor
Though my favorite music has been in constant flux for as long as I have been alive, the band Yes holds privilege in my heart as the musical group that informed my perspective on the world. Yes is a progressive rock band formed in Soho, London, in 1967 amidst the dying embers of the British beat. This musical movement showcased besuited bands crooned sap-sticky ballads such as “I Want To Hold Your Hand” and “She Loves You.” As Beatlemania moved westward, many young Londoners gravitated to the Swinging Sixties’ dominant values, rooted in opposing approaches to social upheaval. Grassroots hippies professing free love, free expression and marijuana-fueled psychedelia mingled with other youth groups moving towards cultural modernism, anti-hegemonic dissension and amphetamine-imbued riffage. Yes’ values are drawn from this social flux—a product of social progressivism, utopianism and mellow psychedelic influences operating in harmony with incendiary cultural upheaval. This coalescence informed a worldview dialectically opposed to conservatism, inequity and strife, willing to fight revolutionary battles of the word, spirit and body to overturn these social ills. Nonetheless, it maintains an unshaken commitment to love and life as sacral values to which revolutionary opposition would be sacrosanct. The band’s self-titled 1969 debut album exists as a perfect crystallization of this perspective, devoting its track listing to heart-softening balladry emboldened by mellifluous acoustic guitar. “Survival,” the highlight of the record and one of my favorite Yes songs, is a stirring reflection on the oneness of life, conveyed through a Darwinian portrait of nature’s beautiful im-
partiality.
Anderson paints pastiches of fecund animal life, singing, “Where is the parent bird, a loneliness arose and heard its name ringing / For lives begin, survival win, survival’s sin.” Oscillating into didactic proverb backed by choral vocal harmony and a noodling organ, Anderson intones in the chorus, “Don’t doubt the fact there’s life within you, yesterday’s endings will tomorrow life give you / All that dies, dies for a reason, to put its strength into the Season.”
Yes’ sophomore record, “Time and a Word” (1970), only expanded upon the high-minded and evocative by heightening their progressive rock ethos, and implementing the gravitas of classical music through hiring the Royal College of Music’s brass and string orchestra. The second track on “Time and a Word,” entitled “Then,” serves as the band’s thesis statement, painting a utopian vision of a perfected human society. “And in a time that’s closer, life will be even bolder then / Souls will be complicated, life will be consummated then / Hearts will be brought together, soon in our minds forever then,” Anderson rhapsodizes over a racing bass-led beat punctuated by cello. “Then” envisions a distant day in which human consciousness coalesces into sacred oneness, ending conflict through a fundamental human kinship, where “love is the only answer / And hate is the root of cancer then.” To Yes, this abstract science-fictional future is a promised outgrowth of humanity’s righteously indignant moral arc towards justice. To me, the worst that this song (and Yes as a whole) can be accused of is being effusively saccharine and naively hopeful about the necessity of deposing evil, loving one another and living together in peace.
The starry-eyed earnestness of Yes’ humanist music was not always typical within the progressive rock milieu. Their London-based contemporaries, King Crimson, are credited
with creating the prog-rock genre on their debut “In the Court of the Crimson King” (1969), a record matching Yes’ grandiosity but sparing all of its assured belief in morality. “Court’s” opener, “21st Century Schizoid Man,” screeds metallic verses recounting the normalized atrocity of warfare: “Blood rack, barbed wire / Politicians’ funeral pyre,” a verse positioning cynicism and psychopathy as the only antidotes to an omnipresent modern cruelty that verges on the absurdist. The two bands are dueling sides of revolution. King Crimson presents the paradigm of modernity as one of gradually inculcated inhumanity, a status quo necessitating destructive non-compliance. Yes argues for the warmth, coalition and moral passion required to swing the pendulum of history toward goodness. King Crimson’s music is dissonant, abrasive, and largely played in minor key; Yes’ music is warm, classically-structured, and replete with heroic major chords.
Yes has always resonated with me just a bit more—every installation of their discography is a balm to the soul, soothing any weariness of spirit and invigorating the listener towards the pursuit of virtue. That radiating core at the heart of their ethos, professing a sincere belief in hopeful futures wrought by passionate people, vibrates throughout their music to create transcendent listening experiences. The climax of Yes’ “Yours is No Disgrace” from “The Yes Album” (1971) still manages to make my heart turn—and tears swell in my eyes—every time I listen. As Anderson croons, “On a sailing ship to nowhere, leaving any place / If the summer changed to winter, yours is no, yours is no disgrace,” I still feel like the 12-year-old who first heard the song, beholding the glistening sincerity of feeling in its creation.
As Yes evolved, the band incorporated a spiritual bent, leaning further into the overblown
craftsmanship that defines progressive rock as a genre. Yes’ masterpiece, 1972’s “Close to the Edge,” sonically and lyrically borrows from the Buddhist influences of Herman Hesse’s novel “Siddhartha” to create a record reaching the zenith of the band’s virtuosity—both in the musical and moral sense of the term. Resultantly, the album presents an Eastern philosophy-inspired spiritual treatise as convoluted as it is clarifying. While the album’s 18-minute title track does convey genuine mystical insight, some of the lyricism constitutes spiritual psychobabble, calling into question the coherence of Anderson’s writing amid what was undoubtedly a heady marijuana stupor: “A seasoned witch could call you from the depths of your disgrace / And rearrange your liver to the solid mental grace.”
Ultimately, Yes’ unflagging commitment to its perspective is more a product of youthful naivete than exceptional wisdom. Discussing the making of “Close to the Edge,” Yes drummer Bill Bruford noted that the band hoped to “take longer than Simon & Garfunkel” took to create “Bridge Over Troubled Water” (1970), attempting to match the sheer effort of their idols and produce music of comparable quality. Yes’ sensitive balladry was not a product of moral paragons, but young, inspired musicians expressing playfulness through earnest musicianship. I believe the music of Yes, and music that holds young, sentimental, righteous passion, is increasingly necessary today.
As modern cultural outputs decline into repetitious simulacra and our communication becomes increasingly defined by post-ironic disingenuity and emotional apathy, media that rouses the spirit and stems from emotional sincerity is vital. Throughout my life, and I imagine for the entirety of my future, the band that has been that font of spiritual inspiration for me has been Yes. Give them a listen.
Rising star Malcolm Todd creates a clever, alt-pop masterpiece
Brendan Kennedy Columnist
April has finally arrived, and things are beginning to look up on campus. Jean shorts and matcha lattes have made a cozy return, the yellow flowers outside my dorm have started to bloom and the quad is finally filled with groups of friends studying and chatting, speakers in hand. The cultural renaissance stemming from warmth’s return creates an instant atmospheric shift, particularly within the music we listen to. Luckily, rising indie artist Malcolm Todd released his debut self-titled studio album on April 4, 2025, a project I deem a quintessential warm-weather listen—a resonance of gut-punching blaze interlaced with 14 R&B alternative-pop tracks.
“It’s going to be fun. If you don’t want to jump, just go home,” Todd often tells fans amidst his concerts, propelling the energetic tone his music inspires. Previously releasing three EPs, in which he comfortably blends indie bedroom pop with R&B melodies, Todd has finally found his sweet spot on “Malcom Todd.” Amidst his rising popularity, Todd released his first single for the album on Dec. 4, 2024, entitled “Chest Pain (I Love).” Here, Todd mixes his emotional vulnerability with pacifying guitar and drums, creating involved, harmonious melancholy. “My chest is hurting, my feet can’t fall out of bed / I don’t know where to go, so I’ll lay here instead,” he contends with the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup. In the music video, Todd shaves lines throughout his blonde buzzcut, symbolizing the onset of a new era with the same confidence and style he has always possessed. “Chest Pain (I Love)” achieved great popularity, with 7.5 million views on YouTube and 60 million streams on Spotify.
The first song of the album, titled “Harry Styles,” sees Todd expressing his recent frustrations with his place in the industry, softly singing over orchestral strings and an electric guitar. “You’ll never make a profit if you’re just trying to be cool,” he speaks to himself. “I wasn’t picked for Flog Gnaw… I should have been there,” he expresses later in reference to Camp Flog Gnaw, the popular music festival created by Tyler, The Creator.
Todd’s unique music style, genre-bending between alternative and R&B with smooth production and creative lyrics, propels him above many of his indie bedroom pop counterparts. His voice is effortlessly compelling, shifting between warm and emotionally expressive vocals. He is not afraid to move between sounds within his projects, but still creates a satisfying, complete end product. The next song on the album, “Make Me a Better Man,” intertwines his soft pop with a new jazz flair, creating a fulfilling melody of piano and drums where each instrument takes its own melodic role alongside the vocals. On the succeeding track, “Who’s the Fool,” Todd completely shifts tones, shoving heavy guitar chords in your face with a punching drum. This sonic whiplash, however, works in Todd’s favor. As opposed to creating songs that are merely replicas of his past projects, he strives within a new sound barrier, showcasing his immense musical growth in only a few years.
The only feature of the album appears on “Bleed,” where Todd enlists R&B-infused singer-songwriter Omar Apollo. “Bleed” is an addictive alternative rock song that compels the listener to dance. Todd and Apollo discuss the heartache of longing for love and self-expression, triumphantly showcasing the pair’s musical chemistry. Todd’s collaboration with Apollo is a huge step in
his career, harnessing the spotlight with a mainstream name: “Getting to work with [Apollo] was like a dream come true,” he said. In the music video, the duo showcases the physical pain of heartache, creating a charming fight scene with fake bruises and blood, with amusing cameos from pop-rap star Jack Harlow and TikTok comedian Harry Daniels.
In “Walk to Class,” Todd discusses the ramifications of yearning for a girlfriend, unsure of whether he can handle having a new partner after his previous breakup, while simultaneously exploring the fear of loneliness. On this track, his musical genius shines through as the lyrical content meshes with warm production and peaceful melodies, creating a sense of a literal, pleasing stroll to class. The next track, titled “Florence,” begins with a fade-in of electric synths, eventually filled with deep bass. “Florence” is a highlight of the album for me, as Todd’s production creates a feeling of resonating bliss and affection; the listener is compelled to a gratifying euphoria of emotions. The innovative lyrics match the sound, revealing Todd’s views on love, sacrifice and the intersection of personal identity with ambition.
The third single of the album, “Cheer Me On,” begins with distorted guitar, mimicking the nuance of falling in and out of love: “I’m living for your eyes / You need to know my name,” he expresses. Todd’s desire to fall back into previous romantic inclinations radiates within an infectious chorus. “I live for you to cheer me on,” he sings right before an elaborate musical break, which features an impressive guitar riff. The music video features him in a bear costume, lighting cigarettes and screaming into a bottle of alcohol on a bridge at dusk, clearly struggling to hang on. This theme continues with the
fourth single, “Concrete,” which opens with a woman calling Todd pathetic for crying. Later, Todd tells himself he is losing who he once was as he grapples with his own desired self-identity. Comedically, he plays the woman he is yearning for in the music video, which shows Todd falling for himself in a blonde wig.
The final track of the album, “I’ll Come Back For You,” is a beautiful end to the project, accompanied by steady drum beats, soothing guitar and melodic whistling; this is my personal favorite track of the album. On this song, he blends all the previous themes, discussing yearning, returning to love and the emotional heartache of being in a relationship: “More love than I can handle / What do I do?” At the conclusion of the song, and the project as a whole, a voicemail from Todd’s mother plays, expressing how proud and impressed she is with the album. “I hope you’re having fun,” she says, and Todd most evidently is.
Malcolm Todd has pushed the boundaries both production-wise and lyrically with “Malcolm Todd,” and the result is exceedingly enjoyable. His freshness and style, achieved both on stage and within his work, fashions a unique vibe of energy and playfulness within the industry. His place inside the unique subgenre blending R&B with alternative pop is successful in creating a sonically warm and comforting atmosphere, flourishing ideas of love, melancholy and self-discovery. His relatable lyrics as a 21-year-old continue to resonate with young audiences, channeling his continued rise within the industry. It is clear that Malcom Todd is here to stay with his heart-on-the-sleeve tunes, and whenever you find the time to bask on the grass under the fresh sunlight, I firmly encourage you to press play on “Malcom Todd.”
My Roman empire: Reviewing ‘Sunrise on the Reaping’
Gabrielle Lyman Copy Staff
The world of “The Hunger Games” has expanded once again. Author Suzanne Collins draws readers back into Panem with the recent, highly anticipated release of “Sunrise on the Reaping” (“SOTR”), the second prequel of “The Hunger Games” series. Released on March 18, readers were finally able to explore Haymitch Abernathy’s story. The novel opens on the morning of the second Quarter Quell—the 50th Hunger Games—and Haymitch’s birthday. We travel with him through the reaping, the games and his homecoming, experiencing all of these traumatizing events in a different era and environment than previously explored in the series. “Sunrise on the Reaping” slots into the series like a puzzle piece we did not know we were missing, and now that it is here, I cannot imagine the series without it.
Collins reminds readers that she is one of the great dystopian writers of our time— her skill with words and mastery of plot is so impeccable that it demands to be studied. Collins successfully creates and merges storylines and imbues depth in characters with unparalleled ease. It is insanely difficult to create a novel that fits into an already existing universe, let alone one where readers believe they already know the outcome. After seeing Katniss watch the tape of Haymitch’s game in “Catching Fire,” I confess I certainly doubted Collins’ skill to surprise. However, that did not stop Collins from throwing in twists and turns
nobody could ever have seen coming. Collins miraculously crafts an entirely new perspective on the 50th and other games, weaving the new story into the world without snagging a single stitch or leaving a hole.
It is well-known that Collins only writes when she has something to say, and man, did she scream at us this time. “SOTR” is an exploration of propaganda, dehumanization and implicit submission. Collins forces readers to contemplate how the few lead the many and the accompanying power of media control. The novel explores the ways in which culture survives, and how art and tradition, although suppressed, become rallying cries for the people. Oral traditions such as music, poetry and stories push back against the Capitol’s fiery agenda in an epic battle of human perseverance.
“SOTR” reveals how we, as the audience, have fallen for Capitol propaganda before; Collins holds a mirror up to show us just how we are like helpless rabbits, tangled up in wire. Once again, Collins challenges us to look at how we live, to question our government and the media we consume. Our current society is separated from the world of Panem by a thin veil that, unfortunately, grows thinner every day. But fire is catching, and Suzanne Collins is holding the flint striker.
Breaking away from metaphor and abstraction, I want to talk about the actual plot, without any spoilers for those of you still waiting on your copies. If you have not bought it yet… What are you waiting for? First, whatever you thought you
knew about Haymitch Abernathy, throw it out the window. This novel finally sheds some much-needed light on our alcoholic father figure. Collins’ story explains who he is at his core and how much trauma it took to launch him on the downward spiral of depression that created the character we thought we knew in the main trilogy. Through his eyes, the audience experiences District 12 and Panem in a new light, as the world has grown much more complex since the 10th Hunger Games but still remains a far cry from the 74th games. “SOTR” somehow merges all of the characters and plot points that haunt the narrative together in one place: From the rainbow colors and lively music of the Covey to the fashion and deceit of the Capitol, we encounter some of our most beloved characters from Collins’ other works in ways
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that we never dreamed of and creates new connections that fans could have never imagined. Besides this new and deeply interesting lore, love and loss are also major themes of the story. Both motifs “Hunger Games” fans are no strangers to, and neither is Haymitch Abernathy. The story of Haymitch and Lenore Dove is familiar yet strikingly soul-shattering. While we know only one victor comes out of the 50th Hunger Games, that does not stop the heartbreak that happens each time the cannon sounds. Even knowing Haymitch’s punishment for his actions in the games does not prepare you for reading it from his point of view. All in all, this novel is beautifully devastating and has imparted a sorrow so deep it touched my pearly white bones, but I will read it again a million times. Now, I am impatiently waiting for the movie that is set to be released in November 2026. With all of the new insights into the inner workings of Panem that has been revealed in this novel, the movie has the chance to go so wrong but also so right. Roles for “SOTR” are yet to be announced, but I have hope that the casting directors will do the novel justice. Aside from casting, this movie might be the first one in the series to be rated R. The horror and gore in this novel are perhaps the worst of them all, but they are also so crucial to the story that I do not think the movie would be whole without it. Revisiting District 12 with a whole new lens is so exciting, and I am quite sure that when the movie is finally released, you all will be hearing from me again.
‘Severance’ season two commits to innie independence
Ethan Stein Guest Columnist
Over spring break, as I languished on the couch in search of something to do, I decided that maybe it was time to finally watch “Severance.” I started the first episode, not expecting much. By the end of the week, I had binged both seasons.
It follows Mark Scout (Adam Scott) and his coworkers who work for Lumon, a mysterious and powerful company with a strange religious streak, who views its founder, Kier Eagan, as a near-divine figure. Employees undergo the “severance” procedure, which divides their memories between their work and personal lives—personas nicknamed “innies” and “outies,” respectively. The outies have no knowledge of what they do at Lumon, and the innies only know work, confined to the “severed floor” of Lumon’s headquarters. But as the innies begin to comprehend the cruelty of their fates, they start to search for answers.
[SPOILERS AHEAD]
This show is incredible. When I began watching, I was only vaguely aware of the premise, but even this is enough to hook you thanks to the many moral and ethical questions it produces. The plot is compelling and well-paced, with the finale of season one propelling the show into its higher-stakes second season. And it is in the second season where the show truly starts to grapple with the questions of the “severance” procedure, the most fundamental being whether innies and outies should be considered separate people. The final episode of season two seems to answer the question. It begins with the first conversation between Mark’s innie and outie, a sequence which is masterfully executed through pre-
cise editing and grounded by Adam Scott’s terrific dual performance. However, their conversation quickly devolves into an argument as they realize that their goals actively conflict. Outie Mark wants to rescue his wife, Gemma (Dichen Lachman), from Lumon, at which point he will no longer have any need for his innie. Innie Mark does not want to stop existing, and beyond that, wants to be with Helly (Britt Lower), a coworker he has fallen in love with. In the end, innie Mark succeeds in rescuing Gemma, but instead of letting his outie go with her, he chooses to remain with Helly on the severed floor for the little time they presumably have left. His choice, which goes entirely against the wishes of outie Mark and which effectively takes him hostage, confirms innie Mark’s independence from his outie. Still, it is undeniable that some parts of their consciousness are shared, and I would not be surprised if the next season continues to blur the newly established line between innie and outie.
I know a lot of people are upset with innie Mark’s choice and think he made the wrong decision. I, however, think his choice is not what matters in the broader scheme of the show; rather, the central debate over the ethics of the severance procedure is what is important. From the earliest episodes, the procedure is understood to be a divisive political issue, which is debated on the news and protested and defended in the streets. It is marketed as a tool for achieving work-life balance, but instead it plunges the lives of the severed workers into chaos. The fact that Mark—both innie and outie—is forced into this impossible position proves that the severance procedure is absolutely unethical. Neither can get what they want without dooming the other. These people are being tortured.
It is so refreshing to watch actors that I have
not already seen in a million other roles. I know Timothée Chalamet is a good actor, but in every role he plays, I cannot help but see him as Timothée Chalamet. My lack of familiarity with the “Severance” actors allowed me to be fully immersed in the world of the show—and the acting is just fantastic across the board. Tramell Tillman’s Mr. Milchick manages to strike a balance between endearing and intimidating, and Britt Lower’s Helly imbues her innie and outie with such personality that they truly feel like two separate people. Each and every actor in “Severance” fully dedicates themselves to their role, and the show would not be what it is without them.
I was also particularly impressed by the set design and cinematography of the scenes that take place on the severed floor. The shots are so geometric and symmetrical that they nearly render the human figure alien within them. These halls feel inhuman, their lines and unnatural symmetry broken up by the
presence of people. This effect is supported by the lifeless, corporate feel of the space to begin with. It is visible even from the first shot of the show, in which Helly wakes up on top of a conference table. The camera’s bird’s-eye view and the conference table which dominates the shot—perfectly symmetrical—make Helly’s unconscious body all the more uncanny. The ability of the show to maintain this bleak style across two seasons without it becoming stale is an impressive feat.
“Severance” is one of the best shows on TV right now. It is doing everything right, and if it can carry the momentum it has built into its third season, I think it has a shot at securing the title of one of the best shows of all time. In the meantime, it might become one of the few shows I rewatch simply because there are so many small details I am sure I missed on my initial binge. “Severance” is something special.
Praise Kier.
‘Mickey 17’ is a fun movie, not much else though
Whatif “Princess Mononoke” and “Starship Troopers” were a slightly raunchy and overly optimistic space flick with the plot of a “Star Trek: The Next Generation” episode? That is the simplest way to set up South Korean filmmaker Bong Joon Ho’s long-awaited science fiction film “Mickey 17.” It is a fun film that, due to its creative choices and unfortunate delays in production, reflects a political and cultural time in our country that has shifted far outside the Overton window. Nonetheless, it is a well-made, fun movie that, above all else, explores its unique sci-fi concepts of cloning and rebirth to a somewhat satisfying extent.
The film follows Mickey Barnes, played by Robert Pattinson, a kindhearted but pathetic man. In an attempt to escape a dangerous loan shark, Mickey flees Earth on a spaceship expedition led by the cruel and highly eccentric politician Kenneth Marshall (Mark Ruffalo) with his friend Timo (Steven Yeun). Mickey signs up to be an “expendable,” meaning he repeatedly dies for purposes such as exploring a new area or finding a vaccine to cure a disease. He is then promptly cloned back out through an advanced printer and has his memories, stored humorously in a literal brick hard drive, downloaded back into his new body. This concept alone, especially with how masterfully it is shown with nothing left to the imagination, makes the sci-fi elements of “Mickey 17” some of the best and most imaginative to hit the theaters since certain
elements in “Dune: Part 2.” Mickey’s expendability is a key aspect of the spaceship’s journey toward the planned colony planet of Niflheim, yet he is still treated fairly poorly, creating an interesting dichotomy. Once on Niflheim, Mickey and the humans discover the local aliens, dubbed “Creepers,” and chaos over how to settle the planet begins. This becomes even more complicated when the 17th clone of Mickey is presumed dead on an expedition, but actually survived and returns to find that, having assumed him dead, the spaceship had printed out an 18th version.
The other major positive aspect of the film is the great acting and near-flawless casting. Mark Ruffalo is electric and cartoonishly evil as the pretty blatantly Donald Trump-inspired Kenneth Marshall. A great supporting performance comes from Toni Collette as Yifa, Kenneth’s sauce-obsessed wife. Steven Yeun gives a solid performance as Mickey’s scheming and somewhat morally devoid friend Timo, but the standout performances come from the two main characters. Pattinson as Mickey and his lover Nasha Berridge (Naomi Achkie) is the reason you should see this film. The cloning and intergalactic colonialism—especially with the humorously dark tone of the film—could not have been achieved without Pattinson’s phenomenal acting. He truly assumes the character of Mickey, from awkward mannerisms, such as bad posture, to his squeaky voice. But that is only his acting as the 17th clone of Mickey; he takes on an entirely different performance as the 18th clone, seamlessly switching to a tough, headstrong version of the same charac-
ter. Ackie as the spunky and warm Nasha brings a sense of levity and safety when on screen, which is ideal considering she is the only one who sees anything in her lover, the expendable Mickey.
The major flaw of “Mickey 17” is not in the plot or performances, but rather that it was released too late. The main thesis of the film, centered around the incredibly Make America Great Again-inspired failed populist politician Kenneth Marshall, is that steady bureaucracy and common sense will always prevail and deliver justice against the hateful and ignorant. “Mickey 17” was originally meant to be released between 2021 and 2023. In 2025, the film feels like a cruel joke. The final scenes, in which the hateful agenda of Marshall is brought down by the sensible political actors around him, who all decide that the greater good is above political rhetoric, seem like a relic from a far-gone greater political scene in America.
These scenes accentuate another consequence of the repeated delays the film went through—“Mickey 17” becomes a mess pretty quickly. There are three major plot points in the movie: Mickey and his cloning, Marshall and his political agenda and the aliens of Niflheim. Each of these threads are present in the film but fail to interlock until they crash at the very end, creating a jumbled finale in which all of these points are resolved. The ending feels very happy, yet unearned. There is a dream sequence jammed into the very last scene of the film, which proves the plot’s lack of organization by the end. Though the main plot points do intersect, it often feels like they are running into each other in a hall-
way Scooby-Doo style. Mickey’s cloning side of the plot becomes intertwined with the alien plot, yet there is no meaningful relationship between the ethical questions of cloning and the aliens, let alone any other plot point in the movie. Both Mickey and the aliens are seen as collateral and without life due to their statuses as labeled by people like Marshall, yet the film completely ignores this clear connection. This is the greatest letdown of the film, in my opinion: It tries to do too much and forgoes possible deeper plot threads that would explore what it means for Mickey to be an “expendable.” Especially after Ho’s box-office success with the class-driven “Parasite,” it is shocking that this theme is merely hinted at in “Mickey 17.” There are only a few mentions throughout the film that Mickey’s status as, quite literally, an expendable worker could be indicative of something greater in our own society.
While a bit of a mess at times due to poor pacing and outdated themes, “Mickey 17” is charming and does excite the audience with its exploration of cloning and its great performances. Even with the development hell, the film comes out on top with a fun sci-fi premise and leaves a nice feeling in viewers before they leave the theater and are reminded of how our world has changed since it was written. Nevertheless, the end product is a fun watch. I encourage anybody who wants a fun romp through space and maybe an optimistic view on human nature in our crazy times to check out the film. Just do not be surprised if you leave the theater reminding yourself it is 2025, not 2022.
Annie McShane/The Miscellany News.
Ben Kaplan Assistant Arts Editor
Taking a trip through Manhattan, and memory
Thomas R. Crouch is my grandmother’s cousin and an actor living in New York City. My grandmother had been trying to connect us ever since I grew interested in theatre. Fresh off Patti Smith’s “Just Kids” and other tales of ’70s Manhattan, the idea of a long-time artist living in the city seemed to me almost mythical.
I ended up meeting Tommy (as he asked me to call him) for the first time in the months after the sudden death of my grandfather, at a memorial service organized by my family. He is a charming man of 82 who sports oversized suits and wool golfing caps. His face is gaunt, and a flab of skin hangs below his chin. (In the ’90s, in one of his more conspicuous roles, he played a mortician in Tom Petty’s music video for “Mary Jane’s Last Dance.”)
We talked at first about college productions I had been in, about Beat poets and Abstract Expressionism and the Chelsea Hotel. He suggested that I visit him in the city, and I enthusiastically agreed. Perhaps we were both looking for some connection.
Tommy was once a Ph.D. candidate in history. It was while doing research for a dissertation on a 19th-century American general, bored out of his mind, that he decided to switch to acting. In his life he has spent time with the Peace Corps in Botswana, worked at the L.A. Times and performed in plays in New York. I was excited to get to know him.
I took the train down on a snowy Saturday morning in February. He met me at Grand Central wearing much the same outfit as the day we met. We hugged, and he started talking immediately about the places he wanted to show me: veterans’ memorials and a perfectly preserved Victorian-era house on the Lower East Side. Evidently the history student had never left him.
We headed for the subway. His walking pace was slow, and I made a conscious effort to shorten my steps. As we walked, he told me about the history of Grand Central Station, pointing out on the concourse ceiling the one place deliberately left uncleaned from when smoking indoors was legal: a tiny ashy-black rectangle in a wash of blue and gold.
We got on the 4 train; we kept talking. “In the early ’80s, you know, when I moved here, people would put graffiti, just, everywhere.” He looked at me; we were sitting side-by-side. “It wasn’t the artsy stuff people will put up today. It would be just these lines of paint,” he said, moving his hand to indicate the length of the car, “all around. Like a dog pissing to mark its territory… the city was a different place then.”
A few minutes later we arrived at Bowling Green, pushing through crowds to the center of the plaza, surrounded now by official, old-looking buildings. Tommy pointed one out, telling me it was once the global headquarters of Standard Oil. All around, signs for Citibank and Starbucks hung below ancient-looking gargoyles. One building had inscribed stone seals labeled “PLYMOUTH” and “QUEENSTOWN.” An open-roofed tourist bus drove past us, chock-full, with an ad on its side for the Broadway show “Hell’s Kitchen.”
Tommy pointed to an unassuming black fence a few feet from us. He told me it was more than 300 years old. “The tops of the fence were taken off—see there? They were built with the British Crown on them. Washington’s soldiers sawed them off.”
He says this park once held an equestrian statue of King George III, torn down during the Revolutionary War. Its sign now reads “Immigrant Heritage Plaza.”
In the next few hours we went, among other places, to a Vietnam veterans’ memorial
and a Revolutionary-themed tavern. Over lunch, he had a glass of wine—though only after making sure I was okay with it. (I’m twenty; he said he “wouldn’t want to rub it in my face.”)
We finally got to our main destination: The Merchant’s House Museum on East Fourth Street. It is the former residence of the well-todo Tredwell family, perfectly preserved from the mid-nineteenth century. The father died in 1865, just at the end of the Civil War, and his three daughters lived out their lives in that house, as the pamphlet says, “surrounded by the familiar possessions of their parents.”
The last of the daughters, Gertrude, died in 1933, leaving the home virtually untouched from how it was in her childhood. “She just soldiered on,” Tommy said, “as if nothing had changed.” He explained the story on the way over with such gusto that I felt, as we finally walked up the front steps, like I was visiting a national monument.
We rang the doorbell at the front. After 20 seconds or so, a middle-aged woman wearing a beret opened the door and beckoned us in. I was handed a thick binder—a guide to the place.
But Tommy led me around; we had no need of it. The place was four stories, claustrophobic and ornate: full of paintings, carved pillars and narrow staircases lined with velvet-colored carpet. Tommy pointed out details in the flooring, the walls, the bed-frames. “See how big the doors are? And see the planks?” he would ask, looking at me, smiling.
As Tommy and both employees told me, the Merchant’s House Museum is in danger: Approved construction next door is set to irreparably damage its plaster walls and ceilings. Calls to action were pasted everywhere, urging visitors and passersby to “SAVE MERCHANT’S HOUSE.” “I had to take you,” Tommy said solemnly, “because I don’t know if it’ll be here the next time you come.”
Eventually we left and headed back to his apartment in Queens, where I was spending the night. The subway under the Hudson was crowded; Tommy and I found separate seats.
We got off at Queens Plaza. A man was sitting against the far platform wall, shaking a paper cup containing a single penny. He did not look up as we passed. Two escalators, a bus ride, a block’s walk and an elevator later, we were at Tommy’s apartment.
His place was spacious, sepia-toned and full of books. As soon as we took off our jackets and shoes, he brought out a photo album, which we pored over for an hour. There were pictures of him there as a child, sitting shirtless with his buddies on the stoop of their Georgia farmhouse. Of him at that same house, recently, smiling with the Black woman who was once his family’s maid. There were photos of long-dead relatives, each of whom he told me about with reverence. I felt guilty knowing I would not remember them.
We had dinner at a restaurant down the street. He told me, over another glass of wine, about his college days at a small school in Georgia. He told me about a girl named Bonnie, three years his junior, whom he had met through the school paper. When he left to go to grad school in Wisconsin, they had stayed in touch, writing letters back and forth, at length, for years. They talked about history, about politics, their passions, the world. After years of this “intense, intellectual” exchange, as he put it, they had arranged to meet in New Orleans, where he was then studying. He remembered, vividly, her making some gesture of physical intimacy and him recoiling from that touch. They had different interpretations of what their correspondence had meant. “She spent most of that weekend in tears,” he said.
They kept in touch, just barely, after that
weekend, though it was never the same. She told him, some decades later, that she had burned all the letters he wrote her.
That night, I had trouble sleeping. I woke at 4 a.m. and lay for a moment looking at the ceiling. The floorboards above me occasionally creaked. I tossed and turned, each time feeling the building resettling underneath me. I heard cars going by outside.
Absently, I look at the books on the wall: Dostoevsky, Baldwin, Fitzgerald. Three different biographies of Eleanor Roosevelt. “African Liberation Movements.” “Poetry for Pleasure.” I noticed an intricately carved wooden crocodile on the table next to me—probably
from the Peace Corps, from Botswana. I thought then about what years and years do to a person, to a place—about all the stories and passions and little dramas that take up the time. About a merchant’s house preserved through centuries because the woman who grew up there does not want it to change, and yet whose plaster walls are in danger of falling apart. About the city growing and bustling with new life and new feeling, about the sheer history contained in its every block, floor, building. About a man who goes through it all, who lives a life, and about what it takes for a woman to burn the letters that he wrote to her all those years ago.
Image courtesy of Noah Duncan ’27.
Noah Duncan Guest Columnist
Karen Tongson contemplates appeal of ‘normporn’
Erin Thatcher, Tina Mao Columnist, Guest Columnist
Karen Tongson is not afraid to admit that she enjoys “normie” and “vanilla” TV shows like “Gilmore Girls” and “Parenthood” that might seem too basic for a queer, Filipino-American scholar like herself. In her conversation with Professor John Andrews from the Sociology and Media Studies Departments on April 4, Karen Tongson, Gender and Sexuality Studies professor from the University of Southern California, dives into her 2023 book “Normporn: Queer Viewers and the TV That Soothes Us” and explores the complex relationship between queer viewers and the mundane TV shows they are drawn to.
Tongson begins by breaking down what she means by the term “normporn.” Pornography, she notes, is appealing due to its gratuitous representations of sexuality that are simultaneously enticing and vulgar. In line with pornography, she defines “normporn” TV as a show full of excessive everyday portrayals of the average white, middle-class and heterosexual American family. Tongson cites “Parenthood,” a drama that follows four adult siblings, Adam, Sarah, Crosby and Julia, and their experiences with being parents, as a prime example of “normporn” TV. At the outset, “normporn” TV shows, with their redundant representations of a mundane American life that aligns with societal norms, seem to be the opposite of what young queer viewers would be drawn to. Yet so many young queers find comfort in “normporn” shows such as “Gilmore Girls,” Tongson comments, which at best embodies a sort of outdated white feminism that one might expect to be largely insufficient in their view.
To explain this cultural phenomenon, Tongson points out that normalcy is often especially out of reach for queer people, whose existences are inherently politicized and whose lifestyles unavoidably deviate from
the social norm. Therefore, living a “normal life,” Tongson argues, is a fantasy for many queer people that could even be libidinal. Tongson explains that the interplay between the radical personal politics of young queer viewers and the detached and apolitical television they consume suggests the complexities between what people openly espouse and what they privately desire. As young queer people, we spend much of our time engaging with radical activism that pushes us further and further from the realm of normalcy. “Normporn” perhaps embodies our fantasy for a world where we, too, can have the privilege of living a safe and ordinary life.
Tongson elaborates on the parallels between “normporn” TV and pornography by drawing a comparison between the viewers’ psychological responses. She cites Linda Williams, the first film theorist to study pornography as a genre, who researched how pornography activates our neural pathways that instill guilt within the viewer. Similarly, watching normporn TV makes queer viewers feel guilty for not liking more politically-engaged shows that actively push back against the status quo. Queer normporn consumers might even fear the social rejection that could happen when their friends find out that they enjoy such “normie” content.
“TV is one of the most significant channels through which norms are legitimized,” Tongson remarks. “They perpetuate the vision of what the ideal American familial life looks like.” The producers of normporn TV imagine their audiences as the standard American nuclear family. Queer viewers, therefore, are a milieu that views normporn TV knowing that they are somehow “better” than the average viewer, but that they are ultimately entangled in this heteronormative, apolitical fictionalized world. Tongson emphasizes that normporn is not simply a form of escapism from reality for young queer audiences; it is instead their “collective reckoning” with their positionality in relation to normalcy and their simultaneous desire for
Introducing Fika & Hygge: A
Iwaswalking up Raymond Avenue on Sunday, March 30, when suddenly, a colorful window display caught my eye. It was no surprise that this new establishment was calling my name—I did not need much convincing since the vinyls outside spoke of Swedish candy and Nordic comfort.
Upon entering Fika & Hygge, a cafe and candy store, I was greeted with a stunning, large and colorful selection of sweets and a warm welcome from the owner, Deb. I spent my time browsing the corners and reading the names of organized candies, many of which I had never seen before. The licorice, marshmallows, gummies and chocolates all had so much variation. They were decorated with sprinkles or truffle powder, filled with caramel and toffee; I was very tempted to participate in the pick-and-mix nature of the candy shop, but instead continued to the cafe portion of the store.
I gazed at the menu and immediately knew I would have to return soon to try their specialty drinks. How could I possibly pass up on the Valkyrie, a maple syrup and toasted marshmallow oat milk latte? Or a Swedish licorice tea? Nonetheless, I decided to order a chai latte and a cardamom bun, because when you see a cardamom bun, you get it. I sat down in one of the many seating options in the cafe, deciding to make a temporary home on one
and aversion to the dull allure of the heterosexual American family life.
That sense of internal discord comes from the fact that, even in the fantasy realm of normporn, prejudice continues to exist in its many iterations. “That’s the devastating thing—coming to terms with the fact that these aren’t aberrations,” Tongson tells us. “No matter the fantasies we have about how life is supposed to go, or how life is supposed to look, we have to reckon with a realism around that at some point. Even if we lead a very privileged existence.” In this way, normporn television both presents a perfectly functioning life while subtly depicting the barriers that make it so hard to achieve.
Furthering the discussion about the innate tension underscoring these branches of media, Tongson remembers watching these shows in times of loss and asks us to contemplate why we are so attached to what these shows have to offer us. She centers on the idea that they offer surprising reminders that a good life, whatever that means, is riddled with sadness—that we will inevitably lose the people and things we adore. “The only thing we can be sure of is that more loss, more of the unbearable, is on the horizon. The only thing we can be sure of is that we’re going to lose people we love,” Tongson says. “I’m sorry to be so depressing, but it’s true—these shows are part of an exercise in understanding that idea on an intimate and global scale.”
As someone fascinated with these shows— both as a viewer and a scholar observing cultural phenomena—Tongson has observed the trends of both storylines and popularity within the genre, and believes that it has come to its end. “As a mode of expression, it’s a historical snapshot of the last 25-30 years of TV,” she says. “It’s a historical snapshot of how we wrestle with norms.” She says that normporn was at its peak during the Obama administration, as much of the American populace sought to live in a fantasy world where differences would be absorbed in capacious familial structures. The Trump ad-
new
of the soft couches next to the outlet, and set my goods on a low table. Both the bun and the hot chai were divine. They paired excellently together, but they were equally as lovely standalone. I read the zarf of my coffee cup:
“(Hue-gah) (Danish, n.): Cozy vibes personified.” Yes, this place was undeniably hygge. I could not help but smile as I ate and drank and worked on my homework, knowing that this will be my next go-to study spot.
Curious to know more about what inspired this woman-owned Scandinavian cafe and candy shop, I spoke to the owner, Deb, and the general manager, Daryon.
The main premise of Fika & Hygge is to bring a bit of Scandinavian culture back to the States, something Deb holds close to her heart. Having lived in Scandinavian countries and then moving to New York City, Deb realized that with the hustle of city life, the States were missing an integral part of the Scandinavian lifestyle—cafe culture. There was little time to sit, sip and enjoy your life in the present. She made it her mission to change that. Coupled with a love for Swedish candy, Deb decided to open up a pick-and-mix candy shop that doubles as a cafe in order to emphasize simple pleasures. Choosing to open here, in Arlington, allows for an exchange of culture and ideas. Furthermore, it connects coffee and college—two things that seem to always walk hand-in-hand, as Daryon points out.
I was curious to learn more about what inspired the name of the cafe. “Fika means paus-
ministration saw the deconstruction of that dreamland with the release of “This Is Us.”
The show earnestly acknowledges that lived experience is not only full of love, but is also fraught with trauma and conflict; Tongson cites it as the end of normporn.
She summarizes a scene in which Randall—a Black man who had been adopted in childhood by a white family—confronts his sister about the fact that his family never acknowledged how he may have felt excluded or isolated from them. They never spoke with him about how his childhood experiences may have differed from those of his siblings; they never spoke with him about the social currents of racism and the impacts it may have had. His sister has nothing but a barren apology to give. In the normporn of the ’80s, this conflict would have seen seamless repair. No repair is offered in “This is Us.”
The viewer sits in discomfort. Tongson asks: “If this is where we leave off at the end of the last Trump administration, where does it lead us next?”
She answers this question with the release of “Paradise” by Dan Fogelman, the creator of “This is Us.” The show, at first seemingly retaining a typical suburban setting of normporn, subverts audience expectations as the President of the United States is assassinated and the protagonist is tasked with uncovering who committed the crime and why. Political strife is centered instead of homey quietude. With this development, comfort TV begins its metamorphosis into dystopia—a cultural shift that Tongson sees as no coincidence. “Where we are heading, or where we’ve been heading, is a direction that leaves behind this network format of normporn and takes us to the acknowledgement that we are in a dystopian timeline, and that we will have to tussle with what kinds of worlds, relationships and intimacies we want to build as people try to superimpose what once was over us,” Tongson reflects. “We can see that we are in the bad timeline now, and we will have to reckon with it.”
small business in Arlington
ing to enjoy the present moment,” Daryon shared, whereas hygge embodies the idea of a cozy atmosphere. In fact, business advisors warned against using two uncommon words as the name for the cafe, Daryon mentioned. She continued: “But we did it anyway, using it as an opportunity to teach people new words and inspire customers.” Deb explains how Danish design is like eye candy—pun intended—so it seemed like a clear choice to make the interior design hygge: clean lines, light hues complemented by pops of color and innovative shapes.
The snacks and drinks were equally as fresh, leading me to my next inquiry. How did they choose what products to sell? All the candy is shipped from Sweden, which makes for unique and creative flavor profiles that use fewer additives. A broad selection of the candies are also halal or kosher, providing the opportunity for more people to indulge. They carry trending candies, like Bubs Swedish candy, and even Taylor Swift’s favorites: the Squashies. However, it is also necessary to find your own favorites. I tried one of Deb’s, a truffle licorice ball, and fell in love, as I did with one of Daryon’s favorites, too: the strawberry mushroom marshmallow.
The coffee was also made with the intention of replicating Scandinavian favorites. The roasts and blends are all meticulously managed by Daryon, whom Deb entrusted to take creative leeway so long as that distinct Swedish flavor profile shines through. The
pastries come from a variety of sources; some from Balthazar in the city; others are brought from local businesses like Kelly’s Bakery, where a collaboration with Kevin Halim, the owner of Kelly’s, is responsible for the delicious Swedish cardamom buns I was snacking on earlier. In this fashion, Fika & Hygge aim to uplift small businesses in and around Poughkeepsie, emphasizing how success is built upon partnerships.
Teamwork is integral in Fika & Hygge; I can see it in the way staff work with each other. From Daryon teaching baristas new skills to Deb collaborating with faculty on design, they radiate cooperativity and communication. This was underscored by Deb, who shared how the core values of the cafe are diversity and equity. Employee satisfaction is just as important as bringing joy into a customer’s day.
Despite initial hiring challenges and the nervous anticipation of the soft opening, Fika & Hygge already have exciting plans for the future. Possible savory pastries, Arlington Bucks, book club meetings and movie nights circulate the air. There is also talk of later closing times on some days so that students can have the opportunity to study into the night, accompanied by coffee and sweet pick-meups. I know I will be there!
Fika & Hygge will surely become a Poughkeepsie staple: a place where people can come and bond over sweets, socialize over coffee and study peacefully together.
Lora Janczewski Guest Columnist
Student appreciates first moments of spring
Jacqueline Corsilia Guest Columnist
Idid not take my coat back to Vassar after spring break. I left it at home because I knew the temperature would soon rise to the point where I no longer needed it. Scientifically, I understood this. I understood that the tilt of the Earth’s axis results in a cyclical fluctuation in average daily temperatures throughout the year in most subtropical biomes, and I had noticed an increase in the frequency of days where I could comfortably venture outside without a jacket. Something, however, was missing from this factual understanding. At the beginning of spring break, when I traveled from Vassar to my home in Connecticut, the land was still hibernating. Patches of deciduous trees were transparent without leaves. The ground beneath those trees was a mixture of dry dirt and rocks where it was not obscured by leaves that fell last autumn. Patches of grass were dull, dry and unproductive. Nothing moved in that grass. Nothing stirred in the deep of the woods, save for the occasional goose or vulture in a cold, blue sky. When the world sleeps, it looks like it is on death’s door.
I understood, on an abstract level, that this would change. I knew the advent of spring would bring new shades of green and signs of movement to the woods I grew up with, but I had not internalized that knowledge. On some level, it did not feel plausible despite my conscious certainty it would happen. Each year, the transition from winter to spring ren-
ders me shocked and awestruck. The silence of winter is persuasive, and each year it convinces me it is here to stay. But it cannot keep up the charade forever.
During the final week I spent at home this spring, I began to notice ladybugs on the trim of one of our windows, the orange shock of their forewings terminating in the stark contrast of a black body. The corners of the pronotum, the plate that covers the top of the thorax, are marked with white patches which resemble the false eyespots of an orca. It is not uncommon for ladybugs to appear early in spring in my experience, though I find it strange that a predator of herbivorous insects would emerge while the plants themselves appear to slumber.
Upon my return to campus, I noticed another ladybug on the windowsill of a classroom. A day or two later, I saw a pair of moths flying low to the ground near Main Building, and the reality finally set in: The land was waking up. This became strikingly clear in the following weeks with the emergence of cellophane bees on campus. These insects are a yearly occurrence in many locales. A swarm regularly appears in my yard at home every year. The bees do not live in hives as one might expect; rather, they live in a loose group and each individual constructs an underground burrow for itself. These burrows resemble anthills with oversized entrances, and groups of them can cover large swaths of flat ground. In this case, the field surrounding Blodgett Hall.
I have observed these bees during two of
the three years I have spent at Vassar, and they seem to make a habit of nesting in the same area every year. They are difficult to spot at first, but when I approach their nesting grounds, I notice one burrow, then two, then ten; then my gaze rises and I grasp the full scale of their settlement. Looking longer, I notice them moving between their burrows and nearby flowers. Their tiny bodies are merely silhouettes at this distance, identifiable only by the familiar ways in which they arc through the air just above the grass, weaving a carpet of movement on the lawn. As before, I first notice one, then two, then ten; my eyes adjust and the swarm seems to froth out of the air itself.
A day or two later, as I was leaving Gordon Commons, a bright orange ant crossed the sidewalk in front of me. It was a winter ant, a species known for being active in early spring due to its preference for cold temperatures. The size of the abdomen and shape of the thorax told me it was a female alate, a winged reproductive ant, although it no longer had wings. Male and female alates leave their nests during a specific time frame in what is known as a nuptial flight. Alates from different colonies mate with one another, at which point the males die and the females set out to lay eggs and become queens of their own colonies. Once the queens excavate a burrow, they rarely return to the surface, meaning this ant had, in all likelihood, just recently mated and chewed its wings off, and was searching for a suitable location to start its colony. I was witnessing this creature at one of the most vul-
nerable points in its life cycle, the moment just before it became the seed of a superorganism.
The transition from winter to spring is an exhilarating time for me. Since returning to campus, I have watched my local swath of the northern hemisphere stir like a great beast. I am watching the land wake up in real time, and it is at once wonderful and disheartening. As the grass flushes a lively shade once more and the canopy grows dense with buds, as animal taxa become active in sequence, I find myself struggling to exist in the moment as much as possible. I have seen this metamorphosis take place 21 times. 21 times I have seen how quickly it ends. I want to drink in the first annual breaths of the great beast. I want to feel its cool exhalations wash over me. I’ve spent the entire winter missing the way that a bumblebee’s legs grip at the petals of a flower, and now that I can witness it for myself, I am terrified that I will allow the moment to pass without adequately absorbing the relief it provides.
As the grass turns greener and the air turns warmer, I will try to savor every moment I can, to wring out of it all the sensory satisfaction I am able to. I want to remember the first morning this year I awoke to birdsong, the first tree to flower, the first insect to cross my path. I will try to take them in with the wide eyes of an infant, spurred on by the knowledge that in a snap each will exist only as a memory, and that there may come a time when their annual return is no longer assured.
DelVecchios discuss brunch performances, family
Allen Hale Editor-in-chief
For the DelVecchios, music-making is a shared responsibility. Since Feb. 2, 2025, father-daughter duo Anthony and Alina have been performing at Gordon Commons from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. once a month.
The first performance was a solo venture; Anthony sang while playing the piano, accompanied by backing tracks. My friend was visiting for the weekend, and we were both surprised by the unexpected performance. Immediately, Anthony’s chatty banter and stage persona struck us.
Although I missed their March 2 show, I was able to catch Anthony and Alina’s performance this past Sunday, April 6, in order to interview the pair.
Upon meeting one another, Anthony greeted me with a firm handshake and a pat on the back, keenly noting that I looked like a musician. I described my background as a trombonist and bassist, garnering a pleased reaction from him.
As they set up microphones, speakers and more, the father-daughter duo described their respective upbringings. We chatted about Anthony’s grandparents being friends with members of The Dorsey Brothers jazz band, a fact which intrigued me; Tommy Dorsey was specifically famed for his “smooth-toned” trombone style.
The DelVecchios’ musical roots run deep. “I was born in the Bronx. I have two older brothers and an older sister who also are in the music business. We have all been singing since we were children in our grandparents’ backyard in City Island, the Bronx,” stated Anthony. Raised in Wappinger, he has continuously sung from a young age. One of his first performances was a rendition of “Take Me out to the Ball Game” in the Myers Corners Elementary School gymnasium.
Alina, born and raised in Poughkeepsie,
likewise noted that their family is full of musicians. “I’ve been singing ever since I can remember, and he’s the one who taught me that,” referring to her father. Anthony credits Alina for reinvigorating his interest in performance. In the past, his performance schedule could grow intense: “I did 84 weddings in one year with my family. And that wasn’t even including the club gigs after the wedding.”
Years prior, Anthony’s brother Johnny DelVecchio did similar brunch performances at Vassar, occasionally joined by Anthony, according to Alina. After chatting with a dining hall employee about his past performances, the idea to bring back brunch concerts was sparked.
Although he performs less now, having previously gigged four to five nights a week, Anthony said, “I kind of got a second wind because my daughter has gotten involved, and she does sing now, professionally.” Outside of music, Anthony can be spotted driving a compost truck for Royal Carting Service Company, a waste management provider contracted by Vassar and other colleges in the area. In this regard, the family seems to feed off of and encourage one another musically. Detailing this special environment, Alina described an energetic, loving scene: “I will say that every family function we have, everybody ends up breaking out in song. Or playing piano. Or doing some type of performing entertainment. Because it’s just what we love to do.” Alina learned the flute in school, in addition to playing in the jazz band. For her, musical performance offered an opportunity to conquer shyness, serving now as a stress reliever. She plans to release self-written music on streaming services in the near future.
As performers, the duo covers a wide range of styles in popular music, focused on hits from the ’50s through the ’90s. Anthony is proud of their flexibility. “I can play with anybody, anywhere, anything. Any kind of genre. You know what I’m saying?” He con-
tinued, “I’m not bragging, I’m just saying.”
Calling herself an old soul, Alina likewise shares an inclination for the classics. Still, she has specifically helped the act diversify its range further, incorporating contemporary pop as well as R&B into their work.
During the April 6 show, the two ran through a number of recognizable, well-loved tunes, including “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown” by Jim Croce, “Margaritaville” by Jimmy Buffett, “Rocket Man” by Elton John, “L-O-V-E” by Nat King Cole, “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong and “Fly Me to the Moon,” most famously sung by Frank Sinatra. “Almost like a music history class,” Anthony beamed. “Sweet Caroline” in particular won over the crowd, earning shouts from distant booths during its participatory chorus. Anthony and Alina harmonized on a number of the tracks, with Anthony performing alone on a few others.
While Gordon Commons’ bright lighting, echoey acoustics and lack of a downstairs stage might serve as performance barriers, the two made the most of the distinct environment. Alina described the busyness of nighttime restaurant gigs compared to brunch: “Not everyone’s paying attention at the same time,” whereas the dining hall enabled them to set the tone more thoroughly.
Students may be groggy from their previous night out or moving through their packed schedules, a factor that stands in the way of engagement. Still, Anthony’s witticisms drew the crowd out of their shells. He joked about a lack of response to his “who sung this” question, earning us a “C minus” grade on our impromptu music quiz. “All I’m here to do is entertain and spread love,” he surmised. “I’m just naturally comfortable around people. I don’t care if you like me or not. I like me.” Rather than mere braggadocio, Anthony tied his personality to the demands of the stage. “You gotta have that kind of confidence to perform,” he affirmed, highlighting
the much-needed musical ability of assuredly facing all types of crowds.
Anthony considers himself to be both an entertainer and a performer, hoping to inform younger audiences on music that they might not be readily familiar with. Regarding his signature interjections, the mission is straightforward: “In general, just try to have fun. And hopefully educate people.” While I initially felt confident in my music knowledge, by the end of the hour-and-a-half long set, I realized I only recognized about a third of their chosen material. Even with decades of knowledge and gig experience at hand, Anthony remained lighthearted and ready to respond to the crowd. “Everything I say is a joke, never take me seriously. No, but seriously,” he cracked after one tune.
Going forward, Anthony hopes to creatively involve Vassar students further, speaking to his aforementioned willing eagerness to play with anyone. “I would like to create some sort of scheduling with people. Because I was hoping for students from maybe Skinner Hall.” He continued, saying he would love to play with a fiddle or a horn player, offering to bring in charts for any needed preparation. Now a consistent fixture, the Sunday brunch concerts seem primed to only evolve further.
Allen Hale/The Miscellany News.
BREAKING NEWS
From the desk of Nicholas Tillinghast, Humor Editor
Somewhat tragic gas leak upstaged by more tragic Strong House fire
Nick reviews the McDonald’s Minecraft meal
crazy!!!!!!!!
Thursday, 10:32 p.m.
Last month, I told The Misc Editor-in-Chief
Allen Hale that I was retiring from food reviews, and he didn’t take it well. But, it was a bad time, so we tabled the discussion for another time. Well, last week I got a call from him, and the tone was full of Hale’s typical placidity:
“Nick, I’m losing my freakin’ mind. If you don’t write this piece, Nick, my ass is in the jackpot! I repeat: Ass in the jackpot. I will be canned by the end of this quarter without this piece! This is, by far, our most popular content! By far! It’s our Wirecutter! We need ‘Nick reviews the McDonald’s Minecraft meal review,’ or I’m gonna start punching some holes in walls that currently do not have any holes!”
sigh
Here goes it.
Whatsupguyyyyyys!!!!!!! Nicky2slice is back with another foooooooooood review. I’m a big fan of Mickey D’s—they inspire me constantly as an artist—so I knew I had to come out here and review the new McDonald’s Minecraft Movie Meal. I gotta give a quick shoutout to JBradley1861 for hitting up the comments last week and explaining what Minecraft is to me because I didn’t know what that was. I don’t play video games because I’m not a little child, but yo! Shit sounds
I was at the chapel practicing the organ late into the night, my typical Thursday schedule. I recently mentioned my organ routine to a friend, and they said, “Wait, is that actually something you do? I thought that was just one of your bits.” It’s not a bit. I’ve been learning organ for two and a half years now, and it’s a very serious thing.
Oftentimes when I’m practicing organ all night, I get very hungry, and that night, I really wanted to order McDonald’s. That’s when I found something new on the app: The McDonald’s Minecraft Meal (for adults). Initially, it seemed like a kind of weak specialty meal from a food item’s perspective. You could choose between either a Big Mac meal or a Chicken Nugget meal with the new Nether Fire Sauce on the side. That sauce sounded enticing, as McDonald’s last foray into spicy sauce, the limited edition Mighty Hot Sauce from 2020, was a cult classic. That sauce was by far my favorite part of working at McDonald’s during the pandemic. I thought if the Nether Fire Sauce is anything like the Mighty Hot Sauce, then fellas, we’re in for a real treat.
It took over an hour for my McDonald’s Minecraft Meal to arrive, which is by far the longest I have ever waited for food app delivery. The wait felt like forever, tummy
rumbling in an empty chapel. As they say, God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.
Eventually, it did arrive. Here are my ratings of the McDonald’s Minecraft Meal.
The Good: Chicken McNuggets
For it taking an hour for my food to arrive, the nuggets held up okay. I was kind of worried that they would be dry, as McDonald’s food often sits on the heating shelf for quite a while late at night. The nuggets were not crisp but plenty moist. I had a pretty even Chicken Nugget shape count, which you guys know I’m a fan of: 2 bells, 2 balls, 4 bones, and 3 boots. That being said, I would have loved more boots.
The Great: Nether Fire Sauce
The Nether Fire Sauce is clearly a reskin of the Mighty Sauce, which is a huge win for me and a huge loss for Mighty Hot Sauce resellers. Absolutely delectable.
The Bad: The toy
I wasn’t doing this for the toy, but I happened to receive one. My toy was a 3D pixelated “potion” of McDonald’s Hi-C orange drink, which had to be the weakest concept they could have come up with for a Minecraft toy. There are a million more iconic things from that game than this piece of garbage, which I will keep for the next five to 10 years.
The Good: Sprite
McDonald’s Sprite is really incredible. Exotic even. If aliens ever crash-land on Earth, the one thing I want them to experience from Earth is McDonald’s Sprite.
The Surprisingly Good: Fries
I’m generally a McDonald’s fry-hater, but that day, I took the road less traveled and dipped my fries in their Sweet ‘N Sour Sauce instead of ketchup, and that made all of the difference. Sweet ‘N Sour is typically a nugget sauce, but combining it with the humble fry was perfect.
Something I really like about the McDonald’s menu is how modular their ingredients are. Every McDonald’s menu item shares a little something in common with every other. Everything is one. It’s a continuum. A love supreme. When I quit McDonald’s, the last crew meal I ever ate was a burger with everything I could possibly insert on the order kiosk on it. It was quite good. Also, the taste was kinda reminiscent of what the McDonald’s sink drain looks like at the end of the night, which was not so good.
CONCLUSION
Yo, Minecraft is littttt!!!!!!! You know I gotta give this shit six greasy napkins out of seven! Hope you guys like the review. Comment down below what Minecraft food you want to try in real life. Gotta go with cake!
Nicholas Tillinghast Organ Player
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.
Trump to replace Air Force One with flying Cybertruck
Noah Daube-Valois Tesla Whistleblower
President Donald J. Trump announced on Wednesday that the 72-year tradition of flying top government officials on Air Force One would be coming to an end.
“Today marks a tremendous day for America. The U.S. government has commissioned Tesla to make a custom flying Cybertruck that will replace the outdated plane we use today,” Trump said. “It’ll likely take years to manufacture, but Elon has assured me it will be ready to fly by my third or fourth term in office. You’re the best, Elon!”
Although Air Force One has historically been used to carry just the president and
select staff, the “Cyberplane” will have a much larger capacity. Reports indicate that the aircraft will be designed to hold Musk’s 14 children and each of their mothers on the president’s trips, while also providing space for various law enforcement officers to ensure that the billionaire doesn’t violate any of his exes’ restraining orders.
This is one of the administration’s most expensive plans to date. Building the aircraft is estimated to cost $6.2 billion.
Trump posted documents early this morning on Truth Social, detailing the sources of the funds. $2 billion will come from money that was allocated towards social security payments, while the remaining $4.2 billion will come from funds that have been “set aside for the purchase of Greenland.”
Musk made news last month when he instructed various government agencies to fire employees who could not email five things they had done in the past week. The Trump administration had reportedly considered a similar method to finance the Cyberplane. Top aides drafted an email demanding that if the leaders of every other country were not able to detail five ways in which they had helped the United States in the past week, they would be on the hook to pay for the plane. The plan was scrapped when no one on Trump’s team wanted to read emails from 190 countries.
The Cyberplane announcement comes in the aftermath of Musk losing nearly half of his fortune due to his association with Trump. The richest man in the world
tweeted out a desperate plea on X yesterday: “These insane protests must stop immediately. The media portrays me as some outof-touch tycoon, yet I’ve lost over 100 billion dollars in the last month. I now only have the wealth to end world hunger for seven years. I’m not so different from the average American.”
Stories of Cybertruck explosions have made news recently. “For decades, liberals have prioritized DEI efforts, which have led to unqualified applicants getting highstakes jobs,” Musk said at a press conference. “By building a plane that will burst into flames with any small mishap, we can assure passengers of the Cyberplane that their pilot is the most qualified—if they aren’t, you won’t make it out alive.”
Rowing team to become pedaling team
Emma daRosa Pedal Peddler
After a fantastic performance at their April 5 regatta, the Vassar Rowing team says they are ready for a new challenge: Pedaling. In a shocking move, Vassar Crew has decided to replace all their boats with pedal boats and become a pedaling team.
“Yeah, I mean, we’ve essentially mastered rowing, and it’s just time for a new challenge,” said team member Stern Oarlock ’25. “We’ve got what, a quarter million smackeroonies worth of boats? The pedal boats, they’re seven hundred bucks a pop for a five-seater. We can sell the lame boats and leverage all that profit. That’s like 357.14285 pedal boats. We’re talking 1785.7142 Vassar students that could fit on this new fleet. That’s basically everyone. We’re just tired of oars; they’re so… oary, you know?”
Honestly? I don’t know, but I’m certainly glad to hear that Vassar Crew is making such a drastic change in an effort to get every Vassar student out on the water. Pedal
boats, as we all know, add a certain amount of whimsy, a little je ne sais quoi, to any body of water that Vassar has been in desperate need of. This is also going to be a fantastic move environmentally, as instead of driving (bad for environment) to the Hudson River every morning to train, the team will be able to walk (good for environment) to Sunset Lake and pedal their hearts out. You may be wondering, are there any big pedal boat races around here for them to participate in? Well, no. The good news is, once they get 1,700 people or so signed up—word is they are not at all concerned about meeting this goal, as pedal boats are very cool and universally appealing—they’ll have more than enough people to break up into teams and race.
Another team member, Port Starboard ’26, reached out to comment on their plans for dividing the student body into pedaling teams. “Basically, it’s gonna be a ‘Divergent’-esque blood ceremony. We’re gonna group all the pedal boats by the animal they’re designed to look like (swan, dragon, flamingo, giant ground sloth, duck, goose, etc.). To join a certain team, all youse gots
to do is find one of the animals of your choice in real life and bring back some of its blood.”
Foolishly, I assumed this meant that the pedal team members were going to have to engage in some hunting for sport, but Starboard was quick to assure me otherwise. “Kill it?! God, are you an Assistant Humor Editor or a fucking monster? No, everyone who joins up is also getting their veterinary nursing certification; the team choosing ceremony doubles as their final IV insertion exam. God, this is why everyone hates Assistant Humor Editors. We’re done here.”
As we all know, the creation of a veterinary nurse certification program has long been the top issue on the minds of Vassar students. A strong veterinary nursing program is the keystone of any self-respecting liberal arts college, and frankly, Vassar’s lack of one has been its greatest humiliation since 1861. Thank god Vassar Rowing is finally stepping up and doing something about it!
I was hoping to source more quotes, but nobody else on the crew team was willing
to speak to me (bummer), so I reached out to the one and only President Bradley to get her comments on the big change.
“Oh, I’m thrilled! I mean, for almost the entire student body to be given the opportunity to become expert pedalers AND veterinary nurses? Vassar Crew is truly embracing the spirit of the liberal arts. I, personally, have been far too busy underpaying female faculty and building hotels to focus on the needs of the student body, but I know that I can always count on the pedaling team to step up and do what needs to be done. I’m so proud that Vassar students are setting out to ensure no swan, dragon, flamingo, giant ground sloth, duck or goose will ever go without medical care again.”
Embracing the spirit of the liberal arts, indeed, as only liberals and artists can truly appreciate the beauty of pedal boats that look like animals. I, for one, can only hope that I find a giant ground sloth soon. It’s every little Assistant Humor Editor’s dream to join a giant ground-sloth-shaped pedal boat team and become a certified veterinary nurse.
Letter from the Editors: An update from the Executive Board
Dear campus community,
The Executive Board of The Miscellany News has received a handful of individual requests in recent weeks related to the privacy and safety of The Misc’s contributors.
We recognize that, owing to federal action taken against college students and professors on campuses across the United States, these are fraught and uncertain times for many people within our own
community. We have been carefully following this news alongside the evolving approaches of student-run newspapers at peer institutions.
As we continue to report on these changes and write stories detailing campus events and climate, we would like to remind you, the Vassar community, that The Misc intends to serve as a protective resource enabling the free self-expression of all Vassar community members. We
strive to protect our writers and sources through discussion between the relevant editors and themselves, including the use of anonymous interviews. We intend to honor editorial requests related to our campus community members’ safety and privacy.
This letter does not serve as a final account or comprehensive comment upon the above-mentioned circumstances. If you have an inquiry regarding these topics
and wish to connect with our paper’s Executive Board, please contact misc@vassar. edu with any and all questions.
In community,
Allen Hale, Editor-in-Chief
Clara Alger, Managing Editor
Maryam Bacchus, Senior Editor
Carina Cole, Senior Editor
Lev Winickoff, Senior Editor
Are MAGA and the Manosphere doing a fusion dance?
Jacob Cifuentes Assistant Opinions Editor
Andrew Tate, former British-American TV star, social media influencer and alleged sex trafficker, fled Romania last month, where he is under investigation— and has since been welcomed to the USA per BBC News. A few years ago, he gained popularity on the internet for preaching misogyny, masquerading as a “self-help” influencer through his online program “Hustlers University,” from which clips of his rants were spread en masse by his paying students as part of the curriculum. These short TikTok clips involve Tate advising young hustlers to not speak to people who do not enjoy sparkling water, invest in cryptocurrency, manipulate women for profit-making purposes and abstain from eating sushi, among other advice ranging from problematic to absurd. More recently, he and his brother have been charged with two counts of rape and human trafficking, involving minors in both the U.K. and Romania. They are also facing a civil suit in the U.S., having been investigated in Florida since early March, according to BBC News. Many from the Make America Great Again (MAGA) movement have embraced Tate despite his criminal allegations and waning online popularity. Why would a movement that champions cracking down on perceived sexual immorality—such as false pedophilia allegations towards the LGBTQ+ community—be attracted to figures like Tate and President Donald Trump, who have committed acts of sexual abuse against women and girls? I believe the answer lies in the study of virtue ethics and the changing nature of public morality.
Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy defines virtue ethics as the diverse moral system “that emphasizes the virtues, or moral character, in contrast to the approach that emphasizes duties or rules…or that emphasizes the consequences of actions.” Oftentimes, virtue ethicists seek to study and emulate the behavior and characteristics of figures they see as moral role models. Young men have cast that light on figures like Tate, Trump and Elon Musk because they represent the ideals of a macho-hustler who has a dominating aura. I have no problem with virtue ethics in and of itself. If anything, I would call myself a Buddhist virtue ethicist. The problem is the specific ideologies, virtues and figures that many young men in our generation are clinging to. While one could say that working hard is a virtue, worshipping wealth is not. Neither is disparaging women. Neither is being a pseudo-skeptic who takes pride in ignorance. These supposed virtues are more like vices, and the influencers promoting them are corrupting the youth to gain power and profit. The young men who have fallen into
the traps of voting red and paying for online podcast host entrepreneurship classes have truly earned the “Fell For It Again Award,” because now their money is being stolen by internet and governmental grifters claiming their services will provide catharsis for the various social and political grievances of their customers.
To expand on the hypocrisy here, it is important to outline the ramifications of the MAGA hive mind’s position on sexuality. Shortly after winning the presidency for a second time, Trump nominated former Congressional representative Matt Gaetz to be his Attorney General. There was one issue, however: Gaetz, according to CBS News, had been paying a 17-year-old girl for sex. Long story short, this finding from the House Ethics Committee jeopardized his nomination, and he resigned. One might think that a scandal of this magnitude would have unilateral outrage, but the MAGA hive mind shrugged it off, per NBC News. Gaetz resigned from Congress in order to join Trump’s cabinet, so his image does not need to be associated with his party. There is no practical value in urging him to return to Congress or any other office, which makes the reaction to his situation’s outcome all the more telling of the priorities of MAGA figures.
This case is one of many. Former Minnesota State Senator Justin Eichorn, former Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson and President Trump himself have been
involved in abusive, disgusting and downright weird situations. Despite all of this, the suburban, right-wing, anti-LGBTQ+ witch hunts against alleged “groomers” in public schools remain prevalent, according to NBC News. There has been massive outrage from parents and non-parents—which seems fishy—to remove books detailing the experiences of the gay and transgender communities. According to a survey done by The Trevor Project, 43 percent of LGBTQ+ students in middle and high school reported there being at least one anti-LGBTQ+ policy in their schools, especially targeting transgender students. The survey also found that those students who reported discriminatory policies went to school less and that those schools had higher suicide rates. Many of these policies, specifically the prominent “Don’t Say Gay” Bill from Florida, state that their purpose is to prevent sexual topics from being discussed with children, yet an absurdly large number of these same figures that support these policies have nothing wrong with sexual child abuse from their colleagues.
Even other online manosphere figures such as the streamer Sneako—a type of live stream host—rapper Drake, and the hosts of podcast Fresh and Fit have been caught promoting questionable viewpoints about women and young girls. This misogyny and over-sexualization, as well as widespread homophobia and transphobia, have seemingly been attractive to the young male vot-
ing base, who overwhelmingly voted in support of the Republicans last November. This victory can be seen as the result of the wave of misogyny and “anti-wokeism” brought about by social media personalities like Andrew Tate and Libs of TikTok. There has also been a surge of “Stoic” content flooding platforms like TikTok and Instagram as well, much of which is tied to the same online communities that worship Tate. All this political and online sentiment is redefining masculinity and morality into an ideology that embraces “toughness,” profit-making and disrespect of femininity.
If young men feel the necessity to follow a role model, they should look for qualities that inspire them to be respectful, kind, wise and integrous. My spiritual role model is the Bhutanese Buddhist teacher Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche, but my more popular heroes include Kendrick Lamar, Huey Newton, Bill Burr and Hasan Piker. There are plenty of people–who do not delight in sexual abuse and misogyny—that we could be following, and for Christian Trumpers specifically, Jesus of Nazareth is the perfect example. Many of the figureheads and supporters of these right-wing movements call themselves Christian, so I would truly love to see them change their ways and follow the advice of their Lord. Cultivate humility, lovingness and skepticism towards institutions. That is a perfect way to live and beats being a misogynistic scammer 100 percent of the time. It is barely even a competition.
2025 promises exhilarating baseball
Henry France Sports Editor
Major League Baseball is now in full throttle, having completed just over a week of games. Last year’s season had everything a baseball fan could hope for: from the high-powered offense of the Los Angeles Dodgers and Shohei Ohtani to the dark horse excitement of the New York Mets. Heading into the 2025 MLB Season, there were many reasons to expect an entertaining season, and week one has not disappointed.
Summer 2024 was the summer of big MLB contracts, headlined by Juan Soto’s record breaking $765-million contract from the New York Mets. After finding their way to the National League Championship in 2024, the New York Mets and owner Steve
Cohen were eager to make a splash in the free agency market—and they made a tsunami. Soto’s $765-million contract breaks down to about $53.7 million per year, more than any baseball player has made on an annualized basis in league history. The Los Angeles Dodgers bolstered their already dominant lineup, signing Japanese pitching sensation Roki Sasaki. Aside from the signings, big names changed hands as parts of momentous trades. Chris Sale was traded from the Boston Red Sox to the Atlanta Braves in a move Atlanta hopes will bolster their pitching staff. Houston Astros third baseman Alex Bregman filled the Sale-sized gap in Boston, hopefully elevating the Red Sox into contention.
So far this season, Ohtani has continued his dominance from last season when he
won the National League Most Valuable Player award. Ohtani has already hit three home runs this year, posting a batting average of .218. Despite being sidelined from pitching due to injury, Ohtani has been able to become one of the most prolific offensive contributors in baseball history. Last year, Ohtani hit 54 home runs paired with 59 stolen bases—the first time an MLB player has posted such dominant numbers. So far, the Dodgers are 9-2, leading the National League (NL) West. Atop the NL with Los Angeles are the San Francisco Giants and San Diego Padres in first and third place, respectively.
At the bottom of the NL, the Braves have gotten off to a rough start, sitting at a 1-8 record. Their season has been marked by disappointment after outfielder Jurickson
Profar was suspended for 80 games following a positive banned substance test. Profar expressed devastation and accepted responsibility, stating the use was unintentional. This suspension was a significant and evident setback for the Braves.
Over in the American League, the New York Yankees have picked up where they left off, sitting near the top of the A L standings in third place. The Yanks have posted a league-leading 76 runs scored this season, leading the runner-up Dodgers by 19 runs in the category. After Juan Soto departed for their cross-town rivals, the Yankees have not missed a beat and look poised to make another deep run come October.
Taking the league by storm this year has been the addition of the “torpedo bat.” These bats feature a concentrated weight in the barrel, enhancing exit velocity. The Yankees have benefited, setting a franchise record with nine home runs in a single game and breaking the MLB record for most homers through eight games with 25. Players like Aaron Judge have specifically thrived, leading the league with six home runs.
As the 2025 MLB season unfolds, a year of renewed energy and revitalized excitement are beginning to take the league by storm. Storylines have already begun emerging— from Shohei Ohtani’s superstar surge in Los Angeles in what could be another MVP season, to the shocking torpedo bats—showing that the league is in an era of productive reformation. Juan Soto’s record-breaking deal with the Mets and Roki Sasaki’s highly anticipated emergence have cemented the MLB as an electrifying and exciting league that is only beginning to regain popularity. With drama both on and off the field, and surprise performances rewriting expectations, this year is shaping up to be one of the most compelling in recent memory. If the early action is any indication, baseball fans should expect an encore of last year’s drama.
March Madness enters the transfer portal
Ben Vinson Columnist
Whatis the point of the NCAA tournament? Most people answer that question simply and say that it exists to find the best team in college basketball, but that is not exactly it. Were that true, teams would play one another multiple times in some postseason round-robin format that has yet to be conceived. The reality is, the college basketball postseason exists as a cutthroat and inherently unfair single-elimination tournament purely to find the hottest team in the country. Who is playing the best right now? Fairness is not on the tournament committee’s mind—entertainment is, and the current 68-team structure provides the best product. The tournament capitalizes off the rhythmic nature of teams, pitting those with high expectations against those with nothing to lose, hoping for a good dose of upsets to keep ratings up. These upsets are why this period of the basketball season is so commonly called March Madness, but this year was a little different, and analysts are pointing fingers. This season’s tournament was undoubtedly mundane in the upset sense, with higher seeds having dramatically more success than in previous years. The Elite Eight had all four one seeds, three No. 2 seeds and one No. 3 seed in it, with each of the No. 1 seeds advancing to the Final Four for the first time since 2008. Even in the Sweet Sixteen, there was only one double-digit seeded team alive, and
it was a scrappy Arkansas team that was far from being a true “Cinderella story”—though they are definitely worthy of their own article. This was certainly a rarity for the industry, and with bracket prediction and betting being at the heart of the modern college basketball discourse, everyone is left wondering if this is a sign of changing times.
In June 2021, four seasons ago, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that college athletes should have the ability to profit off of their Name, Image, and Likeness (NIL), defeating the “amateurism” argument that had plagued the industry for decades. Schools could no longer pay anyone directly, but they now received a portion of the proceeds from their jersey sales in addition to things like advertising deals that companies could work with a university to facilitate. As a result of this and similar rulings, the NCAA was forced to change the way that transferring schools for athletics worked, allowing athletes to transfer and play for their new school immediately the next season. Previously, transfers were forced to sit out a year to disincentivize it. Now, swapping teams for a larger NIL paycheck is a legitimate reality for the more talented and thus more highly sought after players.
Many analysts are pointing to this transfer system as to blame for this year’s less entertaining tournament outcome, questioning whether NIL will be the death of the Cinderella story as we know it. To give them credit, they have somewhat of an argument. Many
of the most talented players of the last few years at mid-major programs—teams that are not in one of the five major “power conferences”—have transferred out and up immediately after making a name for themselves, frequently for a high paycheck. Big fish that ended up in small ponds can now move to bigger ponds for more food access. You cannot blame them for taking advantage of that opportunity, and more are doing it every year, with over 800 players entering the portal this season on its first day. Some even did so while their season was still alive, such as Michigan’s Justin Pippen, son of NBA legend and avid Michael Jordan hater Scottie Pippen, who had a Sweet Sixteen game against Auburn just two days later. It is clear that the transfer portal is out of control under its current rules, and it is easy to deflect blame onto it as a result, but there is really no way to create a strong connection between the portal and this year’s tournament outcome.
Just a year ago, the modern system was being pointed to as the pinnacle of college basketball, with the last four tournaments having some of the most upsets and best stories that the country has ever seen. Whether it was through No. 11 seed North Carolina State making the Final Four last year, No. 11 seed UCLA doing the same four years ago, or the fact that zero No. 1 seeds made the Elite Eight two years ago, March Madness has appeared aptly named in recent history. Moreso, the only two times in history that a No. 16 seed beat a No. 1 seed in the first round happened
in the last seven years, contributing to the idea that these increased levels of craziness are the norm. The pendulum swung on the side of upsets for several years in a row, and despite all of the reactionary press that has been put out in the last two weeks, what happened this year is more than likely a similar statistical anomaly to what has been seen recently, just in the other direction.
Even if this March’s Madness is not just a statistical anomaly, things may just go back to the way they used to be after the NCAA has had time to adjust to the portal. Arkansas Hall of Fame Head Coach John Calipari said on the Pat McAfee Show recently that, “There are kids in the United States that are freshmen, that deserve scholarships to college that aren’t getting them. We’re all waiting for transfers.” The aforementioned highly skilled mid-major transfers are flooding the recruiting market right now, and thus talented high school players are being left behind at Power Five programs across the country. Hundreds of incredibly talented kids who would normally find themselves blossoming after a few years at a major program are no longer getting in, forcing them to look elsewhere to play basketball, opening the window for these supposedly dying mid-major programs to stay afloat with new talent. The reign of the upset might take a small hiatus for a few years, but with all of this scrappy young talent now having to take the gritty mid-major path to the top, I have no doubt that March will remain mad.
Image courtesy of Ashley Andujar via Wikimedia Commons.
Brewers Ballin’: Birnbaum lifts Brewers to critical win
Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing. If you would like to nominate an athlete, please email hfrance@vassar.edu.
Brewers Ballin’
Name: Walter Birnbaum
Year: Sophomore
Team: Men’s Volleyball
Stats: Birnbaum led the Brewers this past week as they nearly pulled off a thrilling reverse-sweep of #1-ranked NYU before sweeping #2-ranked Springfield College in Kenyon Hall. Against NYU, Birnbaum smashed a match-high 17 kills, two aces, three blocks and three digs. In the Brewer’s domination of Springfield, Birnbaum was unstoppable, burying 13 kills with just one error on 26 attempts for a scorching .462 clip. Birnbaum also added two blocks, two digs and an ace in the three set victory for this Brewers’ squad.
Statement: The adversity we have faced this season would seem insurmountable to most - the resilience of this team is truly inspiring. I am ecstatic about postseason D3 Men’s Volleyball; April truly is the best month of the year. I’m so fired up for the rest of the season I could throw an orange through a bus window.
Recently in Vassar Brewers sports
Men’s Rowing Opens Season Strong
The Men’s Varsity 8 crew is off to a hot start, winning their first two races of the season, including wins over RIT, Middlebury and back-to-back victories over nationally-ranked #13 Skidmore.
Men’s Volleyball Sweeps #2 Springfield
In a critical victory, the squad prevailed in a decisive win over Springfield College on Senior Day on Saturday.
Women’s T&F Finishes Third at CGA Spring Invitational
Amanda Hanrahan ’28 led the Brewers over the weekend, setting a school record in the hammer throw.
Image courtesy of Walter Birnbaum ’27.
The Miscellany Crossword
Baby’s First Crossword
By: Ben Timberlake
ACROSS
1. Finally unaffected by 5. Didn’t participate
11. ___ Machine, redundantly
14. Prefix with “bus” or “byte”
15. 2005 Best Foreign Film Oscar-winner set in South Africa
16. ___-Town (Bean locale)
17. *You can’t think of life without it?
19. That dude’s
20. “I must depart”
21. Band whose lead vocalist shares a name with this puzzle’s creator 23. “Make way!”
27. Former Portuguese colony in China
30. *Merchant that lacks brick and mortar
34. Drawn?
36. Gossip, in slang
37. Common feeling post-workout, much like 11-down
38. ___-Arbor, Michigan
39. What can be heard when reading
the ends of the starred clues (abbr.)
42. Gender prefix
43. Term of address for a lady
45. Domain of 62-across: Abbr.
46. Do-do range
48. *Sufjan Stevens album and musical
51. Stopover for campers
52. Decelerate
54. Ali, for one
57. Absolutely furious
61. Hand gun?
62. *A legendary Frank?
66. Like Seinfeld’s character in a 2007 film
67. Set one’s target to 68. Average
69. Wait time in the pre-reg line, seemingly
70. Words of impatience or victory
71. Pretentious
DOWN
1. Texter’s “No frickin’ way!”
Answers to last week’s crossword:
“Haha, Very Funny”
By Sadie Keesbury
2. ___ Beach (small city 150 miles north of 27-down)
3. Performing arts quadruple award-winner
4. Vents to
5. Apt spot for a drama queen
6. Inclined
7. City in N.W. Ohio
8. Missouri River native
9. Flash drive letters
10. Store, in Santiago
11. Common feeling post-workout, much like 37-across 12. Slender
13. Campus paper, familiarly 18. Hit 1982 album with “Africa”
22. Cinco plus uno
24. Naive
25. Tournament ranking
26. “Give ___” (try)
27. Little Havana setting
28. Historical record
29. “A man, a plan, a ___ ...” (part of a famous palindrome)
31. Express counterpart
32. Wicked star Cynthia
33. Go back to square one
35. Amazon speakers
40. Soft French cheese
41. Slasher franchise with ‘ghostface’ killers
44. 8-___ (Detroit boundary)
47. “The Walking Dead” or “Breaking Bad”
49. Region of S.F. and Mt. Shasta
50. Closing remarks, in America
53. Start of el año
54. Infant
55. Nabisco sandwich
56. Charles Francis Xavier’s group
58. Teen follower?
59. Noseeum
60. Start of a selection process
63. Hurry
64. Tbsp. or qt.
65. Outfielders behind first and second base (abbr.)
Our crosswords are now available to play interactively online! Check out our crosswords tab at miscellanynews. org or find the archive at crossword.miscellanynews.org