Banger Banter 3rd Quarter 2010

COVER STORY

OVER A HEINNIE Former Rosslyn Park player adds muscle to Banger pack

American Banger Colt with a strong rugby pedigree and unique skill set. Josh is a professional poker player.

FIVE MINUTES Evergreen Colt halfback gives his five minute spin on life

Images from the inaugural match between the Banger Colts and the Thai National Team.

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July - September 2010

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Tates

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Peter Burgess

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The Ancient Quill

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Nak Suu Tigers

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Southern Hemisfear

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Banger Colts v Thai National Team

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Blog from Andrew Tatam club captain.

The club coach writes - YOU READ OK. Musing from the Ancients captain Rugby training and leadership program for Thai kids Tom Kerr’s satirical look at World Cup Football.

Photo essay of the Banger Colts v Thai National Team game

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Geoff the Chef

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Concert Review

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The Grumpy Banger

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Wall of Knowledge

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Rice. A thoughtful insight Deep Purple in town. Baby boomer review Grumpy rambling from a real malcontent No people on the Wall of Knowledge these days

Clubhouse

Byron Kelliher ex All Black visits Wall Street

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The Healthy Banger

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Banger Humour

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Entertainment Tonight

Johnny Wilkinson’s fitness diet To brighten you day up.

There is a golf ball in my glass.

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xcuse the delay in getting the Banter out this quarter. I had a few real world priorities to deal with, so the Banter was put on the bottom of the list of things to do. Its always a balancing act meeting the deadline. Usually, I get it right but on this occasion I was caught out of position.

I suggest when you read the newsletter, you transport yourself back in time, a couple of weeks as some of the copy could be a little out of date.

Banger history was made a month ago. Firstly, Adriek “Earth” Mulwass was selected for the Thai National Team for their tour to the Asian Rugby Championships in India.

And secondly, the Banger Colts manage to score a game against the Thai National Team. It was great afternoon of rugby and the Colts played well against a well drilled Thai team. We certainly gave them a match with all players stepping up for the occasion. History will record we were beaten not thrashed.

I don’t think there would be too many expat club in the Kingdom in any sports discipline, that would be given this privilege. Let hope we can make this an annual event I keep wondering why club members did not make an effort and get out and support the Colts when they played in the recent TRU competition.

Both venues, The Royal Bangkok Sports Club and Vajiravudh College have superb grounds, set in magical surroundings. Its a great day/evening out with pubs and restaurants handy to both locations for any after game merriment.

Everybody seems happy with the new kit. No sponsor advertising on the jersey. Its an interesting approach given the commercial nature of club rugby these days. The committee have done their sums and it seems their are significant savings. Sponsor logos however will be on all leisure wear.

Now we have to find a place too wear it. The next club games should be at Royal Bangkok Sports Club in their round robin tournament in a couple of months. Then we have the Bangkok International Sevens in late October.

If there is anyone out there who would like to contribute to building the Banter each quarter, please contact me. Another pair of hand wouldn’t go astray.

Mike

EDITORIAL : Roberto Gullio, Andrew Tatam, Peter Burgess, Rick O”Shea, Geoff McKenna, Grahame Fox, Mike Laloli

CONTRIBUTORS : Nick Mcquire, Josh Glaser, Chris Hartley, Tom Kerr

PROOF READER : Roger Fitzgerald WEBMASTER : Jason Manning

PHOTOGRAPHY : Johnn Jaspers, Robert Brewer

BANGER BANTER is published quarterly by the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club for members, sponsors and friends of the rugby club. The Banger Banter is downloadable from the club web site. Members contribute all editorial and photography. The layout and design is provided by Ruck Graphics - a member of the Old Bangkok Banger Rugby Club

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What a topsy turvy start to our new season for Old Bangkok Bangers rugby Events outside of our control had a major impact on club activities. Bangers being Bangers, we have still managed to enjoy ourselves in spite of the political activity around us.

We started the quarter with our annual pilgrimage to Pattaya to play in the Chris Kay’s International Tens where we once again showed the good, bad and the ugly sides of our game. No prizes this trip, still a great weekend was had by all. Next year we are looking at entering two teams so pencil the first weekend in May in your diaries now, as your club will need you! (and probably your mum) We were then due to welcome Paul Holling’s and his pals from Singapore and the Causeway Bay RFC from Hong Kong. Both withdrew because of the political instability in the Land Of Smiles. They have not forgotten Bangkok so hopefully we can welcome them in the very near future.

Next a game of historical importance. Old Bangkok Banger scholars will be writing about this for centuries to come. “Where you there Grandfer?” they will ask in awe and wonder. We had the honour and privilege to play against the Thai National Team as they prepared for a run of International fixtures around Asia.

Our very own Adirek “Earth” Mulawass was selected for the national team. He was also key in helping to arrange this fixture. What a day it turned out to be. The final score was Thailand 38 Banger Colts 17. It proved that we were worthy opponents and hope to play them again in the near future.

Next was our favorite tour organized by one of the clubs favorite sons, Foxy. The travel tee shirt he issue scared my children but unfortunately not the opposition. The Old Boys won 1 and lost 2 on the Friday but showed glimpses of their vintage rugby skills. The Colts came through Saturday with two close fought wins and one loss to put us firmly in the Plate and a late morning kick off!

Sunday saw some of the stars of Saturday playing with balls of wool on the Sunday, but we did something very rare indeed, and won our first game and which got us into the semi final of the Plate. Unfortunately we just ran out of juice in the final game. We had done our best and had a great time on and off the field finishing with 4 wins and 4 losses for the long weekend.

The TRU now looms large and will report further progress in the next Banter! Finally I have been delighted with several new recruits, we welcome to our club and family. If you know anyone else who may like a run send them along, they might just like it.

to contribute to the

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ver the last few weeks, the reality of real world fifteen-a-side rugby has hit us. I don’t need to tell you this.

We’ve come to the mid point in the Thai Rugby Union competition and we have yet to really complete a full 80 minute performance. We always start the game with a bang. Everyone puts their hands up to work hard and maintain pressure on the opposition who seemed powerless to stop our go-forward or our ability to win line out ball, bust tackles and off load the ball.

However, a good 20 minutes of football doesn’t win anyone an 80 minute game. We are allowing the opposition back into the game before half time with fundamental mistakes and some very soft line defense.

We hand the game to the opposition with a very low completion rate and a failure to keep to the game plan. The “urgency” we talked about pre-game is lacking when we have the opportunity to make the game ours.

The TRU games, have given us an insight into what needs to be addressed in training. If we can improve defensive effort in our next games, we will see the results Overall, we play well as a unit Our team has shown a lot of heart, passion, courage and attitude. We will get over these losses and with minor adjustments there is a victory just around the corner.

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COVER STORY

I

was born in Bangkok near the Victory Monument. Currently, I am studying for my MBA at Shinawatra University.

I started playing rugby at the late age of 20, with the now defunct Corsairs Rugby Club after advice from a senior Thai army officer.

Like many Thai children, I have always wanted to represent my country and wear the Thai flag on my chest. While with the Corsairs I practiced with friends every Thursday and Sunday developing and honing my rugby skills.

One person that has had a big influence on my rugby career is Khun Eddie Evans. Without him, I would not have accomplished what I have today. He has been my mentor, friend and team captain and source of inspiration during my rugby career, After my time with the Corsairs, I joined the British Club Rugby Club. You may ask why I don’t join a Thai club. No particular reason. I just enjoy playing rugby with multinational clubs.

I really enjoyed my early rugby at the British Club. This gave me the opportunity to play international football. The first time was in 2004. at the Manila Ten’s and again in 2005 at the same tournament. That year. the British Club were eliminated in quarter finals so I teamed up with the Samui Semians - another club that is no longer around - and we grabbed the Bowl with three tries in final.

2007 was a dream year, when I joined Khun Eddie and played in the prestigious Hong Kong Tens (10’s rugby, is the best in the world) with the Aliens, an invitation club from New Zealand. We were the best team of the tournament that year. I was the first Thai player to have the opportunity to play with this special club.

I stayed on after the Tens to attend the Hong Kong 7’s. Just magnificent. One of the most wonderful weeks of my life.

Around this time, everything was changing at the British Club, so I decided to move on again and join the Old Bangkok Bangers. I am really happy I made this decision. I am enjoying my rugby with the Bangers Unfortunately, I am not able to attend all the training sessions because of my university studies and some recent injuries.

Recently, one of my dreams was realized when the coach of the Thai National Team, selected me as part of the national squad for the Five Asians Nations tournament in India. I also achieved my other goal, and wore the Thai flag for my country while on tour. This was a fantastic tournament and very competitive. We lost to the eventual winners the Philippine National Team Rugby is the sport I love and I really enjoy being part of the of the Old Banger Rugby Club Thank you for making me feel welcome

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he Ancients were scheduled to have a run on the Sunday afternoon at the recent Phuket International Tens. The boys were really looking forward to another chance to exhibit their silky skills.

One of my other duties was to manage the Veterans. On the Friday the first day of the competition, the numbers for our team were looking sad. However, after repeated tannoy announcements and personal abuse, we managed to find 17 players by the end of play Saturday - one was 69 and had to be aggressively persuaded -.

The big day arrived to find that Saturday night’s excesses had taken a fearful toll - only twelve hung over old sods could be found on the Sunday morning.

The Qantas Wombats found they didn’t have to play till 4.00 pm, so they went back to their hotel for a swim taking three of the Ancient key players with

them. They obviously thought a swim was not such a bad idea. We were stuffed.

After a prolonged discussion with the tournament organizers, it was decided to cancel the Ancients game.

This is life in the Ancients fast lane.

There was nothing left to do. So we joined the Colts and Veterans and partied for the duration of the tournaments. I think a good time was had by all. We will be looking for our next opportunity to have a run, perhaps at our next family day.

Remember, if you want some regular exercise, go out to the Banger practise at Patana School on a Sunday. You can relax with a few cold beers after all that exertion at the Red & White across the road from the school.

Better still, you could also get out there and support the Colts in the current TRU competition and then have a few beers. Keep the faith.

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BANTER : Do you have fond memories of those early days ?

NICK : Ah yes….back in the day when you could get stamped on legally on an icy pitch…I didn’t have as much body hair then to keep me warm.

BANTER : You played your senior rugby with Rosslyn Park ?

NICK : After stints at Bristol and Lydney in the West Country I had to try & get myself a “proper” job in London. I failed on that count and ended up working at a radio station selling airtime. They gave me a car with tinted windows, flames up the side and a slogan splayed across the back reading ”Hot Stuff South of The River”. I took some stick for that when I drove in to the Rosslyn Park ground for the first time.

BANTER : Nick Thanks for finding the time. I believe I caught you before go back to England for a your annual visit: NICK: Yep, the annual tour of duty begins next week. We are going home to catch up with family and friends, pick up the new toon kit, introduce our youngest son James and stock up on pork scratchings.

BANTER : Where are you from in England?

NICK : I was born in Kent but my spiritual home is Newcastle where my dad is from and where my family all live now.

BANTER : How old were you when you started to play rugby and who was your first club ?

NICK : I started when I was 8 and played for my school team – St.Dunstan’s in South East London.

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BANTER : I can vividly remember walking into your clubhouse when I lived in London Pretty impressive.

Great club. A lot of history there.

NICK : Rosslyn Park is very proud of its amateur status and wisely didn’t go down the professional route like neighboring clubs such as Richmond and Scottish.

It has a great atmosphere in the clubhouse as I’m sure you experienced and you only have to look at the photos on the wall to realize how many great players have represented them notably Prince Obolensky (Russian prince and war hero), Andy Ripley (England and British Lion RIP passed away recently) and Martin Offiah….. and me of course.

BANTER : Who has been the biggest influence on your career?

NICK: My Dad. Never has a man dedicated so much travelling time to watch a single player (including an 18hour round trip to watch a mid-week game) and trips to too many hospitals to list. As a football man he was not able to give me technical help but I would always raise my game when he was on the touchline.

BANTER : Who was your sporting hero as a kid ?

NICK: Paul Gascoigne & Gabriella Sabbatini. I watched

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both avidly but for slightly different reasons.

BANTER : What motivates you on the field?

NICK: Winning and a free brunch doesn’t hurt either.

BANTER : Any superstitions or phobias ?

NICK: Phobia -Trevor Day on an overnight bus.

BANTER : Any pre-match routine?

NICK: Pre match routine used to involve making sure I had a closely shaven head, strutting out on to the pitch sizing up the opposition and having a chat with the ref but all that had to be laid to rest when one day I came out to perform the usual routine and I was getting some really strange looks. The ref eyed me up and down and said “so you’re a horny devil eh?”… it wasn’t till about 5 minutes later that I realised my wife had pinned on my kit a badge saying “I’m a horny devil”. So now my pre-match routine involves checking every inch of my kit to make sure it hasn’t been tampered with. I don’t need to worry about checking the hair any more sadly.

BANTER : If you weren’t a rugby player what would you be?

NICK: “Those who can’t, teach….those who can’t teach, teach PE.” BANTER : Second sport after rugby?

NICK: Football.

BANTER : If you were stranded on a deserted Island what three things would you take?

NICK: My wife and my two sons (she might be reading).

BANTER : What has been your best sporting moment on the field?

NICK: Picture this….we were an average team but we played brilliantly that day. It was like the English school boy version of One Tree Hill….. seconds on the clock, playing the mighty undefeated Campion.

The girls from the local school all came to support.

We needed a try to win. I got the ball, ran as fast as my skinny little legs would carry me and dived for the try line. It was the last play of the game. We celebrated that night with cider and a ghetto blaster. Other than that, beating Tatam’s primary touch rugby team last week and celebrating with some tuna sandwiches & orange squash.

BANTER : What do you think of the current English side touring Down under ?

NICK: Last week - old, slow, unimaginative, lacking in skills but now ….young, dynamic, full of creativity and very skillful.

BANTER : When you arrived in Bangkok How did you end up playing with the Bangers ?

NICK: I started out playing for the British Club but I had issues with the language barrier. It was a choice between The Southerners or Bangers….and you know the rest.

BANTER : Are you enjoying your rugby in Bangkok ?

NICK: Bangers is the team I always dreamt of playing for….no training just playing.

BANTER : What are you other interests outside of rugby?

NICK: By the time I’ve finished work, done the gym, taken my turn at the food shopping, and been full-time coach to two small boys with discipline issues my main interest is in sleep. Other than that, it’s Newcastle United FC, food and keeping Emma happy of course (you never know, she reads a lot).

BANTER : Thanks for your time. Appreciate it NICK: Thanks for asking. You must be pretty strapped for interviewee’s. Hope I wasn’t too dull.

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LF Rugby Academy - “Changing Lives Forever” - sponsor’s a rugby team called the ‘Naksuu Tigers’ meaning ‘Great and Noble warriors’. This rugby club targets underprivileged children, in the slums around Bangkok city. This is also a joint venture between Sopo Fakaua with Ark International and Eddie Evans with X-treme sports.

We’ve been meeting every Saturday morning from 9 til12:30 PM. Currently have 2 teams, U’10s and U’14s and meet at a soccer field (one day it turns into a rugby field he! he!..) We are extremely grateful for the grounds that we use for this program. In addition we provide snacks and lunch for the chidren to keep them strong and healthy Currently we are into the 7th week of the training program.

In our training sessions, we teach them basic rugby drills, passing and handling techniques etc… You need to remember that for some of these Children ‘RUGBY’ is still new to them, but they love turning up and trying it out.

We also provide basic life skill teaching and especially building good and moral characters.

We started in March, after the Bangkok International Tens and we were grateful with the financial support from the Old Bangkok Bangers, who donated a large cheque of 40,000.00 Baht, which went towards the running costs of our Naksuu Saturday program.

We are also grateful to the Bangers players coming out on Saturday mornings to help out with coaching. Bangers, this is above and beyond in the call to service. THANK YOU AGAIN!!

Every Saturday, we have an average of 60 plus kids turning up ready to kick start their day with fun activities In essence program is designed to help the kids to start believing in themselves, to be all that they can be and feel that those who invest in their lives BELIEVE in them too.

Thank you for all your support towards the CLF Rugby Academy and if you want to know more information you can contact me SOPO FAKAUA : arkthailand@gmail.com

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Over the years, players, members and supporters have work in Bangkok in an array of career disciplines. However, we have never had a professional poker player. Until now.

Here is Josh’s story.........

I was born in Brooklyn, NY, moved to Queens when I was 4.

Lived in Albany, New York from age 18-29, then moved to San Francisco from 29-34. I have lived in Bangkok for the last 7 months.

My first rugby club was Albany and I played for them for three years.

It was the competitive drive to succeed and the camaraderie you build with the other players on the team that really turned me on to rugby. I am still friends with many of the guys I use ro play with then.

When I first got here, I was looking for ex pat communities to get involved with. Just looking for opportunities to meet some people. I found the Old Bangkok Bangers website and decided to give it a try. It’s been one of the things I enjoy most about living in Bangkok, my time with the Bangers.

The rugby has been a lot of fun. Despite my lack of fitness and speed, I’ve been doing my best to get into the kind of shape where I can help out on the pitch.

Hopefully, I can help the Bangers to have some wins in the coming TRU games.

I used to work with computers, as system administrator and network engineer making a decent living. But I was always wondering if maybe there wasn’t something else I could do that I would enjoy more.

I'd been playing poker professionally for 6 years and when I spoke to friends and family about why I liked it so much I'd always say how I could do it from anywhere. but it was starting to sound like something I said and not something I did. So I decided to go do it. Plus I'd always wanted to live outside the US in another culture. Not just travel for a while but really live there.

When I saw the World Poker Tour on TV and found out that people played poker professionally, I was very interested. I had always had a weekly poker game with friends and had a lot of success at it. There aren’t very many of us, so it’s not too surprising that you haven’t run into 14

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one before me.

It was a decision that my friends and family were originally very skeptical of, but as time has worn on, and I haven’t borrowed any money from them, they’ve grown more supportive and accepting.

I made a decision to try to become a professional poker player. I stopped reading technical documents and started reading poker books. Supersystem by Brunson, Championship Poker by Cloutier and Theory of Poker by Sklansky. i also got pretty involved in the online poker forum www.twoplustwo.com an invaluable resource for anybody serious about improving their poker game.

It took me about 2 and a half years to become consistently good enough to quite my job and take the plunge.

I am much more of a small time grinder than a big money player. The entry fees for those big time tournaments range from $2500 to $25000, which is a bit rich for my bankroll right now. But hopefully someday I'll be playing in those televised events.

Poker had a huge renaissance in the late 90's. It has trailed off a bit from it's peak, and despite the US governments attempts to outlaw online poker, it has remained incredibly popular worldwide both for players and fans of the TV events.

The higher money stakes you play in, the better you have to be to compete and win. So to make a modest living I think you need to be an intelligent player who studies the game.

To make millions you need to be a genius player who puts in a lot of time studying and analyzing

both his own game and his opponents. I think most people could be winning poker players if they were willing to put in some time and study game and poker theory I am not a superstitious person, and no phobias either.

Which is incredibly rare for poker players. When you deal with randomness as often as poker players do, I think the human mind tries to rationalize why in one situation you were incredibly lucky, and in another you were incredibly unlucky. But I just chalk it up to randomness and hope it all evens out in the end.

I see myself In fact I would consider it a terrible failure if I ever found myself gainfully employed in any capacity other than as a poker player.

I always learn something new every time I sit down to play cards, the game is so complex, if you feel like you've stopped learning, you're just not paying attention.

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Old Bangkok Bangers. Coach 2003 - 07

NDULGE ME BANGERS for this edition of the Banter but I must write about pedantic rugby matters. No philosophical or jesuitical musings this quarter as I can’t avoid the global ambush on all things decent by the soccer World Cup. Our love of rugby is brought into sharp focus as we make comparisons between our elegant game of the gods and the tawdry cheap theatrics of so-called professional football.

Ireland (North or South – yip we have 2 teams on our pokey little island) did not qualify with the South being denied by Thierry Henry’s blatant hand ball in the qualifiers that even Stevie Wonder would have seen on a dark night.

Alas the ref saw nothing and soccer again shot itself in the metatarsal for not having video replays or TMO’s.

It wouldn’t have happened in a rugby game. But the visionary generosity of Madame Henry’s hand has prevented the far worse catastrophe of us Irish having to endure both rugby and soccer news from the southern hemisphere.

The limitations of our sporting talent were ruthlessly plumbed by the All Blacks, the Maoris and I suppose the Aussies.

The volcanic ash cloud from Iceland (who have only one national soccer team) could have saved us if only the Atlantic westerlies had abated in favour of a face 16

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saving artic ash laden blast from the north that may have grounded all outgoing flights.

I just hope our tour doesn’t go on to Easter Island or Galapagos. Perhaps the latter would be a good stop off point and Ronan O’Gara could meet his Darwinian basking seal forbears whose fins could make a better tackle than his own flailing arms.

Ah yes indeed, the Irish rugby tour in the Southern Hemisphere is going rather like a full frontal armed attack by Madeira on Russia.

Irish soccer has its own Ronan O’Gara, by the name of Robbie Keane (not to be confused with Roy Keane who, when they did get to soccer world cup in Korea, walked out on his country and team mates because the plastic pitch markers during their training session were not all the same colour).

Now Robbie is spot-on at the spot-kicks, and quite outstanding in the Sunday morning pub-league and he will score goals galore, followed by some neat forward-rolls in celebration.

But put him up against a well-drilled defence, and he will wander round, baffled, like katoey at an orgy of Catholic lesbian nuns.

But our problems could be worse.

Poor old England, home of the ‘best league in the world’. As one journalist recently wrote about another player …… “However, at least he’s not as woeful as Emile Heskey, the worst striker to play for England since Douglas Bader lined up as centre-forward against French POWs in Stalag Luft Legless in 1944.

Indeed, two international goalkeepers, Colombia’s Rene Higuita and Paraguay’s Jose Luis Chilavert, have actually scored more international goals (and no, not own-goals) than Heskey has.”

So actually, Ireland’s soccer plight could be far, far worse: Emile Heskey could have had an Irish grandmother, and so too could Robert Green and Peter Crouch. Worse still they could have played rugby Peter Crouch playing against Paul O’Connell. Tasty Peter Crouch versus Ronan O’Gara...go Peter

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Where were born ?

Brisbane, Australia The name of your first club ?

West Bulldogs Junior RFC (1973) Did you ever play first grade rugby?

Yes – in grade 1 at school What is your club nickname?

Harts Where do you call home?

Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia Five words that describe you...

Dependable, Loyal, Hetro, Tolerant, Frank Whats is a phrase you use often...?

Ya gotta want it!!!

Are you superstitious?

No – unless it’s a Friday What’s your favourite music?

Rolling Stones (1960s) & Alternative (1990s) What is the most surprising thing ever to happen to you ?

First international rugby cap for Philippines at age of 39 Whats a common misperception people have of you ?

That I am the twin of Brad Pitt Whats your ideal night out ?

A few beers with the mates watching a game of rugby (after a nice dinner with the wife of course ;-) In a nutshell, what is philosophy of life ?

Have a go …or you will never know.

After a busy day what would be the perfect way to relax ?

Fishing with the wife & a few beers.

What motivates you to be focused and driven?

On the pitch: not to let my mates down. Off the pitch: family & retirement What’s your favourite food?

Mum’s apple pie – you’ve really gotta try it What is your greatest talent or party trick?

Flaming Sumbuccas Book you are currently reading or have just finished ?

“How to Short Sell Stocks” by William O’Neill Favourite TV programme:?

Presently: Entourage. All-time: Blackadder.

Favourite Film:?

Pulp Fiction Most enjoyable holiday location:?

Boracay Island, Philippines

Person you would most like to meet: ?

Obama Sportsperson you admire most:?

Michael Jordan Hobbies:?

Rugby, Touch, Stock & Futures trading Biggest influence on career:?

My Dad Best career advice you were given ?

Take that job in SE Asia Other sports that you played: ?

Cricket, Rugby League, Aussie Rules footie Best rugby memory: ?

Winning the inaugural rugby test between Philippines & Guam, May 2006 Rugby Player you admire most ?

Wally Lewis (Aussie Rugby League player in 1980’s) Rugby team you admire most: ?

Brisbane Broncos, Rugby League club Sporting event you would most like to attend: ?

US Masters, at Augusta Three people you would invite to dinner and why ?

Bono for entrée, Obama for main course, Jessica Alba for dessert

QUICK FIRE Comedy or action? Action Books or films? Films Beer or spirits? Beer Fast food or health eating? Healthy Night in or night out? In McDonald’s, Burger King or Thai street food? Thai street noodles Bon Jovi or U2 ? Are you kidding … this is not a rebel song - this is “Sunday Bloody Sunday”, Bono, 1974.

Heineken or Singha ? San Miguel Light Blonde or Brunette? Brunette

FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND Best airline? Singapore Politics? Yes Religion? Yes Sex? Yes please Reality TV? Porn rules Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010

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ell, I told ya last quarter we would do well in the Super 14’s. I believe next year, both the Red’s and the Waratah’s can only improve. Bring on 2011.

The Wallabies had a win against the Poms in Perth however, couldn’t put it together in the second match in Sydney. The English were prepared this time and gave our forwards a real lesson. It probably didn’t help, that Johnny Wilkinson was on target with his boot and Matt Giteau was not. But bare in mind, the current Wallaby team is not our final squad. As I say, the Wallabies are work in progress. I think Deano knows what he is doing and by the time the World Cup comes around next year, he will the boys finally tuned. Will Genia, Quade Cooper, Ben Daley, Saia Faingaa, Daniel Braid, Anthony Faingaa, Scott Higginbotham and Digby Ioane are some of the new Wallabies he has to work with.

The upcoming Tri-Nation’s series should be an exciting. Not easy to pick a winner here. A month ago I would have put my money on the Springbok. Not so sure about them now. Argentina beat em last weekend. And you cannot write off the All Blacks. Deano will continue to blood the young guys so they may lose a game or two as part of the building process. I am sure however they will do well. I reckon the Tri Nations series is harder to win than the World Cup. Now that will put the cat amongst the pigeons.

I see the Kiwis got Sonny Boy. Not surprising, he is from the Shakey Isles. It will interesting to see how he goes and whether he lives up to the hype. I personally thought he would have gone back to League. Maybe he burnt to many bridges. Another explanation could be the money. His paycheck for playing with the Crusaders, the All Blacks and Toulon in France would put him right up there. Time heals wounds and you watch he will be back across the Tasman within two years.

I gotta talk about the State of Origin. I am not leaquie however, I do like and always watch the State of Origin. Its just great footie. Queensland have won the series and I have my money on the Queensland again this time.

Gotta go, See ya. Bazza

Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010

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“You

Will Always Be A Banger�

ice is an excellent carbohydrate food which contains about 75% starch. It is easily digested and nourishing which about 100 grams of rice will provide around 340 calories. It is an important source of energy particularly for those engaged in a lot of physical activities, but it is not a complete food. A diet based exclusively on rice alone can be more damaging than beneficial.

Various processes aimed at making rice whiter necessitate the removal of the outer layers of the rice grain (which is an important source of vitamins and minerals), and detracts considerably from its dietetic value. Rice is given different terminology at the various stages of its development. Paddy rice is rice in its raw state complete with its glumes, the fibrous ball to which it is attached.

Once it is cleaned and husked it becomes known as Cargo rice, this is further treated in its turn to become White rice with the degree of whiteness depending upon how many times the rice is passed through the abrasive machinery. By the time the whitening process is completed, the rice has lost its pericardium and practically its entire protein layer. White rice is then transformed into Polished rice by being passed through equipment that removes any starch still adhering to the grains. Shiny rice is further treated to give it a very outstanding sheen.

Unfortunately, it has been proven that the process used in the removal of the grain casings also take away precious nutritive elements. Proteins in the outer husk disappear when cargo rice becomes white rice, lipids are significantly reduced, mineral salts and vitamins, especially B group vitamins, are reduced to insignificant levels. Also, as there barely any fats present, rice cannot satisfy our full vitamin and mineral requirements. In fact the lack of vitamins and minerals in white or polished rice can have serious effects in regions where it constitutes the main source of nourishment which can result in the disease known as Beri-beri.

Whilst there are negatives, rice is very digestible and the 7% of protein that remains in the rice has a well balanced variety of indispensable amino acids.

Rice also has a very good energy value, but it must be subsidized with other foods such as animal protein (meat, fish, eggs, milk), or vegetable protein (leafy green or root vegetables), fats, such as uncooked butter and good quality oils, and of course vitamins and mineral salts in the form of green vegetables and fresh fruit.

Of course, you can always forget the rice and go for the steak and veggies or fish and chips.!!!

ENJOY 20

Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010

“You

Will Always Be A Banger”

CAUTION : For Veterans & Ancients ONLY - Cause They Will Understand

or the Banger baby boomers, it was their night. Deep Purple were in town. The legendary and classical rock band of a generation that inspired millions of over 50’s air guitarists.

I have always been a Deep Purple fan. I saw Deep Purple once before in the 80’s and they just seem to get better.

At the Impact Arena something clicked when the band strode on stage and launched into Highway Star. Memories. The band played out their repertoire that spanned four decades, Familiar and comforting music. And despite the deafening decibels the Deep Purple gig was, well, intimate and cosy.

The songs that Ian Gillan, Ian Paice, Don Airey, Steve Morse and Roger Glover churned out had already been steeped into my consciousness. But when they played Space Truckin’, Rapture Of The Deep, Sometimes I Feel Like Screaming, Hush and Strange Kind Of Woman, I hummed along.

By the time they got to Smoke On The Water, with the world’s most unmistakable riff. and the night’s closer, Black Night, I was swept away, cheering along with the other baby boomers and the few teens scattered through the audience.

Gillan and Co seemed affected by the wave of emotion flooding the arena. All of them looked like they were really enjoying themselves on stage, getting the audience to sing along or scream out musical phrases during choruses and solos.

Where so many bands these days play as though they are rehearsing and with no interaction, Gillan grinned and waved at his fans as though he’s meeting an old friend for a beer in the pub.

“Thank you very much, you guys are fantastic,” said Gillan at the end of the 100-minute show. I would have said the reverse was true too. A good night out

Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010

21

“You

22

Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010

Will Always Be A Banger”

“You

Will Always Be A Banger”

THE GRUMPY BANGER L

et me tell ya I was @$% grumpy a couple of weeks ago.

I was down at my local supermarket, TOPS in Sukhumvit, three hours before the recent All Blacks Ireland rugby match, to buy basic provisions for the house. After selecting the food items, I surveyed the checkouts for the shortest queue to pay for the items.

After a quick analysis I decide to line up in the queue that clearly stated you should have under 8 items and must pay in cash, Their were three customers in front of me. The line was moving along smoothly and my day was going well.... until the woman in front of me, arrived at the register.

I had not noticed beforehand the lady had more than ten items - more like 25 - in the basket. I knew then this was not going to be a pleasant shopping experience. The cashier was too polite and jai yen yen to say anything to the hi-So matron. So I decided to let it go too.

Once her food items had been processed through the register, she brought our a wad of discount vouchers applicable to the provisions she had just bought. The cashier had to go through the tabulation process again.

It didn’t stop there. She then brings out her TOPS Discount Card and requested the Steve “Grumpy” Morris cashier to recalculate again, using the discount card.

Time was slipping by. Then she decides to use her credit card. There was an issue with the card. This was the last straw. Time to implement the queue exit strategy. I was not about to get into any intellectual engagement.

There was game of rugby up.

Why can’t people understand there are malcontent people out there who want to watch a rugby game on a Saturday. Its hearting to know their is a “demographic” out there, that is grumpy and that nothing is being done by the supermarket shopping dumpsters to fix the problem.

ITALIAN FOOTBALLERS : Now I have started, don’t get me on to Italian football players. Showing a modest amount of support for New Zealand, I watched them play Italy the other night at a local pub. This is the World Cup, so like every other soul in Bangkok I watched the odd game. Mind you, it was unavoidable. Every channel known to man has been showing “the beautiful game”.

I could not believe what was seeing. Was this the Italian football team or their diving team? How are they allowed to get away with conning, cheating and thumbing their noses at fair play. Remind me to switch #@%$ channels. Beautiful game? Hogwash. This is real grumpy fodder.

RUGBY WORLD CUP 2010 : Have you noticed the prices for the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand next year? Loudly expensive. For the pool matches, at some venues, sure you pick up a “hoi polloi” ticket for US$24.00. But after the pool matches, prices escalate into the stratosphere. We are talking US$320.00 to US1150.00 a ticket.

Who was the creative marketing plonker with the free wheeling imagination that decided these prices and determined what the rugby paying public should or would pay. There is a nagging discontent amongst rugby grumpies, that the game has been hijacked by the corporate world, clearly interested in massive profits and not concerned about the rugby grass roots.

I suppose, for the rugby Hooray Henrys, with their gin and tonic and one hand and cigar in other, its just another game. I could go on. Don’t get me started ........

Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010

23

“You

Will Always Be A Banger”

he true mark of a man is in his swagger, according to Dunedin folk.

And there is no better indication of this than rugby played in its purest form. Nude, that is.

Perched at the bottom of New Zealand’s South Island, Dunedin on Saturday hosted the All Blacks and Wales rugby Test at Carisbrook. A few hours prior to the game, another international was played out before a 2500-strong crowd of rugby fans and curious tourists.

In a test reserved for men very confident in their ability, the undefeated Nude Blacks clash with the visiting Welsh Leeks. The match coincides with National Nude Day, and the New Zealanders are led out by David “Bourkey” Bourke, a veteran of all Nude Blacks’ games since they were formed in 2002.

The core of the 43-year-old’s team were Otago University students, known as “scarfies”. “I’ve never turned away from stiff competition,” Bourkey quips before the game. On the field there is no shame and no inhibitions. In fact, there is nothing but men - and a football.

“Go the big fella,” roar a chorus of spectators, as Bourkey takes to the pitch. The competing players refuse to hold back, even at scrum time.“There’s nothing delicate about this game,” one spectator says.

Here all are measured against a pint of the famous Dunedin brew, Speights Gold Medal Ale. “None of them measure up,” the spectator points out.

The Nude Blacks look set to retain the trophy come the end of the first 10-minute half, before a brawl erupts after one player is unceremoniously dumped to the turf. “Come on Nude Blacks, show us all ya got,” bellows one spectator to rousing laughter and applause.

While the players are very much exposed to the elements, there is also nowhere to hide for the crowd stationed along the touchline. Women squeal and bolt for higher ground as three Leeks clamber for a wayward pass. The line-out that follows prompts more giggles, before the ball spins wide to the Nude Black’s first five.

Ruth from Wales watches on as her husband, Johnny, a member of the Leeks team, poses for post-match photos.‘’Oh my, that was so embarrassing,’’ she says. ‘’I had no say in this. He’s a very proud Welshman. ’He was not going to pass up this opportunity to represent Wales.’’

The Nude Blacks are already anticipating next year’s nude rugby World Cup, he says. ‘’We do not have much knowledge of Georgia, but we know what the Scots wear under their kilts so we can expect an interesting match-up for that fixture,’’ he says. ‘’The concept has international appeal and is all meant as a bit of a fun which has been accepted as a part of major rugby weekends in Dunedin.’’

As far as the victorious skipper, Bourkey, is concerned, winning isn’t everything. “It’s all in the name of fun ... and good rugby,’’ he says.

24

Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010

“You

Will Always Be A Banger”

n a international rugby match day, Wall Street is normally chocker. There is standing room only. Forget about sitting at the Wall of Knowledge. The seniors members of the Old Bangkok Bangers rugby establishment have had any available seating on the Wall stitched up years ago. Its just accepted, you move on when the old guard arrive.

There is no exchange but the evil eye is enough to know you should not be there. On very rare occasions, you can be invited to stay at the Wall. This a privilege and should be treasured.

Times have changed. Its noticeable when you walk into Wall Street these days, there are no people on the Wall.

Banger Rugby Club members cannot ever remember spotting a drinking slot on Wall of Knowledge. Old hands told the Banter, a few years back, you use to apply for a slot and could win one in a ballot. Then you would go through the inevitable screening process to see if you were made of the right stuff.

Sure, there are your evergreen regulars there like, Douggie and Geoff the Chef, who always sit at the Wall. They have both been loyal patrons on the Wall since it was built. Friends of the publican also pop in for a brief chat at the Wall. Other than that.

No people There are other regulars in Wall Street, scattered around the bar with a cold beer in hand on a given Saturday, watching the rugby. More than likely these patrons have tried in the past to a get a seat on the Wall however, have given up because of the red tap. They have carved out their own patch in another in the corner of Wall Street oblivious to the Brick In The Wall issue.

There have been changes in the drinking landscape since the Red Shirt hijacked Bangkok a few weeks back, with some expats packing their bags and existing the country. That doesn’t explain the absence of the regulars on the Wall of Knowledge. An investigation is on going.

Interestingly, there is a school of thinking out there, that the Wall of Knowledge has real historical significance and would be shoo in if it was ever registered with the Fine Arts Department in Thailand. One wag suggested its up there with the Great Wall of China and Hadrian’s Wall. Perhaps more in important. Its a living wall, whatever that means.

A bit battered these days, the august wall has rugby heritage written all over it. Over the years, some of the most famous rugby players on the planet have stood there chatting to members of the Wall aristocracy. Does Jonah Lomu ring a bell!!!

Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010

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“You

Will Always Be A Banger”

Clubhouse

Rick O’Shea

he clubhouse has been very quiet over the last three months. The nine weeks the Reds were running Bangkok, kept people away. Then there were the curfews. What’s next?

Life has turned back to normal, if it can be in Bangkok.

There is a school of thinking out there that is not over yet There has been plenty of rugby on the box. The All Blacks are playing well at the moment and have had the measure of both Ireland and Wales. The Wallabies won the first game against the English however, the Poms fought back and won the second contest. Great match.

The Bangers Vets misplaced the Weasel Cup while in Phuket to attend the Phuket International Tens Let’s hope it finds its way back home ASAP. The competition in the Coffin Dodgers division in Phuket continues to be more competitive or perhaps it just the social nights get longer.

I went out and saw the Bangers play the Thai National team a couple of weeks ago. I thought our lads played really well. It certainly wasn’t a one sided game.

The Colts are in the Thai Rugby Union competition again this year. I am sure Peter will have the team firing on all cylinders in this very competitive competition By the time you read this, we should have the South African sports feed back. That great news.

A surprise visitor to the club rooms recently was ex All Black and Otago Highlander, Byron Kelleher.

Played his first test in 1999 against Samoa and played for the AB’s in 57 test matches.

Has memories of that nice Victor Matfield who concussed him with a vicious tackle in a Tri Nations game. Byron believes Victor wears a thin metal plate under that protective bandage he always plays with. Will be watching that closely now.

Byron could only stay for 30 minutes. He wanted to see the All Blacks photos on the wall. Thirty four years old now, he is spending time on a beach this week pondering his future. Currently plays for Toulouse who won the French Super 14 competition For some time I have been telling you about The Banger Veterans are touring in August to Cape Town for the Vintage Rugby Tournament 2010 in August. There is still room for a more bodies Finally, mark your calender. Monday July 12th we will be celebrating the 10th Anniversary of Wall Street Bar & Grill. So throwing a party. Free food and wine Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010

27

“You

Will Always Be A Banger�

BREAKFAST

Water - Your body is at its most dehydrated in the morning. Considering that you have spent eight hours without any intake of fluids while you have been sleeping, it is a good idea to start the day with a drink of water to make sure you are hydrated from the outset.

Muesli With Fruit - One of your five-a-day, and also thought to help lower blood cholesterol concentration.

Low-fat Skimmed Milk - I tend to steer clear of high-fat foods.

Eggs/egg-white Omelettes - Egg whites are fat-free and rich in high-quality protein. I try to have high-protein foods at every meal.

Carbs - You need energy at all points during the day, so carbohydrates such as toast or porridge could be incorporated into your morning routine.

LUNCH

Fruit, Protein, Salad - I tend to keep my lunch healthy and simple.

Healthy Fats - I often eat avocado - it contains monounsaturated fat and is great for energy release throughout the day.

Carbs - Carbohydrates such as pasta and potatoes make sure your energy levels are at performance level for the rest of the day.

Beetroot - Beet greens are a very good source of calcium, iron, and vitamins A and C. Beetroots are an excellent source of folic acid, which helps you rebuild your body after training.

DURING TRAINING

Water - Drinks water whenever possible, to make sure is body is fully hydrated and in tip-top condition. He keeps a bottle with and take sips little and often. This technique has made the challenge of drinking 1.5 litres a day really easy.

DINNER

Few Carbs - In the evening it is best to avoid a high intake of carbohydrates, as they will release energy during the night that could affect your sleep.

Oily Fish and Chicken - Chicken or oily fish, as they are an essential source of Omega 3, protein, vitamins and minerals.

RECOVERING FROM INJURY

Immediate physical treatment is necessary to reduce the swelling and avoid further injury, such as elevating the injury above the heart and applying ice to the affected area. Your immediate mental response to injury, however, can often be more important than your physical response, You can often tell how bad an injury is the second that it happens, and remaining positive is extremely important.

Even when in pain and shock try to block out any negative thoughts. Combating the initial stress can be really hard, but staying open-minded and focusing on recovery.

Modern medicine can work wonders if you are in the right frame of mind and do everything possible to help out the doctors. Thanks to the great work by the medical staff and physiotherapy team, and by doing everything I possibly could to aid my own recovery, I ended up missing just two games of the championships. he was back playing weeks before most people thought he would be.

30

Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010

“You

Will Always Be A Banger”

WESTERN WALL A female CNN journalist heard that a very old Jewish man had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day. So she went to the Western Wall to check it out, and there he was praying she approached him for an interview “Pardon me, sir how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?”

“For 60 years.” “60 years! That’s amazing!

What do you pray for?”

“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. all the wars and all the hatred to stop. for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man.”

“How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”

“Like I’m talking to a %$@ brick wall.”

ON HIS WAY HOME James was on his way home from the 2nd Lions test in Sydney when he had to screech to a halt and ended up in a massive traffic jam. He wound down the window and thought to himself, “This seems bad, nothing’s moving at all.”

He noticed a police officer walking back and forth, in and out of all the cars, so James shouts over, “Scuse’ me officer, what’s going on here?”

The officer replies, “It’s an England fan, he’s so depressed about losing to Australia again today and what it says for England’s World Cup chances if they can’t even beat the Wallabies with the help of three other teams, he feels a right idiot for saying England are the best team in the world, he’s actually threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire!!”

The officer goes on, “His family find him arrogant, and he hasn’t got many mates. I’m just walking around taking up a collection for him.”

“Right”, says James, “how much have you collected so far?”

“So far,” replies the officer, “we’ve collected about 100 litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning!”

10

Banger Calender

LAWNMOWER The local vicar was making his rounds on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower.

“How much do you want for the mower?”, asked the vicar.

The young boy thought for a moment, then replied “I just want enough money to go out and buy a bicycle.” After a moment of consideration, the vicar asked, “Will you take my bike in exchange for it?”

The boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, he said, “You’ve got yourself a deal!”

The vicar took the mower and began to crank it. He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower. He called the boy over and said, “I can’t seem to get it to start.”

“That’s because you have to swear at it to get it started.”

The vicar said, “I can’t swear. It’s been so long since I became a Vicar, I don’t even remember how to swear.”

The little boy looked at him happily and said, ‘If you keep pulling on that rope for long enough, it’ll soon come back to you.”

Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010

31

“You

Will Always Be A Banger”

ne of life’s pleasant experiences, on a late Sunday afternoon after rugby training at Patana International School, are the after training beers amongst your mates at the Red & White restaurant.

As far as the restaurants go, the Red & White is like thousands of other outdoor eating houses in Bangkok. Modest surroundings, exceptional food at budget prices and really cold beer.

Toss in a pleasant red sky sunset and you have the stage for a mellow evening of camaraderie.

To the uninitiated, there are rules the moment you arrive at the Red & White. For instance, you cannot pour your own beer.

You must have one your team mates pour it for you. A bit odd that one but you go along with it.

Now for the golf ball. So, you talking to chap next door to you about anything from quantum physics to stem cell research and next thing you hear “plonk” and you look at glass you notice a gold ball in you glass. You remark, “There is a golf ball in my glass”. There is sure is. Your bog standard golf ball peering up at you through the amber fluid.

So you get up on your feet and with a certain amount of ritual and theatre, scull the beer to jubilant cheering and shouting from all at the table.

You then sit down. Now that you have ownership of the golf ball, you look around for a suitable suspect that would like or not like a golf ball in his glass.

They are sometimes not easy to spot, as veterans of these Sunday afternoon gatherings, place a hand over the top of the glass, which symbolizes the glass is a no go zone.

The trick is to show some patience. Some unlucky soul at the table will inevitably forget and whisk his hand maybe momentarily, off the top of his glass. Using sleight of hand and stealth techniques or whatever it takes, plonk the ball delicately into the suspects glass. Game, set, match.

As you can imagine, the golf ball find a home in may glasses during the evening. It can even end up back in your own glass.

My rule of thumb is, two golf balls and then it time to think about “I’m outta here”. Others, think a good night is four, five golf balls. But hey, whose counting 32

Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2010