MamaMagic Milestones Summer 2015 by MamaMagic Milestones

SUMMER 2015 F R E E

Your Essential Pregnancy & Parenting Guide

Child ‘s Play USING DAILY ACTIVITIES TO CONNECT WITH YOUR CHILD

HOT MAMA’S GUIDE: Coping With A Summer Pregnancy

l a e d o How t ING IT B h t i w G N I T T I &H

TO CO-SLEEP OR NOT TO CO-SLEEP?

The Beneﬁts Of Being A Working Mom

Contents

IN THE SPOTLIGHT PLAYING WITH YOUR CHILD: GAMES FOR CONNECTION & EMOTIONAL IQ Play’s an effective way to help your child understand their feelings

THE BENEFITS OF BEING A WORKING MOM New research banishes working-mom guilt!

Summer 2015

(November - January) ON THE COVER

PREGNANCY SPRING 2015 F R E E

PAMPERS MILESTONE Pregnancy Milestones – Weeks 8, 10 & 12

GIFT IDEAS

Your Essential Pregnancy & Parenting Guide

MY PREGNANCY DIARY: 1ST TRIMESTER Kim Jansen shares her personal story

THE HOT MAMA’S GUIDE: Tips for a cool summer pregnancy

ANTENATAL AND POSTNATAL CARE

CREATE THE PERFECT NURSERY Get the look you want, and keep to a budget

TRAVEL SAFELY WHILE PREGNANT

PARTYING WHEN YOU’RE PREGNANT Don’t feel left out this festive season

PAMPERS MILESTONE How to stimulate your baby’s development

TO CO-SLEEP OR NOT TO CO-SLEEP? Know the benefits and the risks

NIFTY NAPPY-CHANGING KNOW-HOW Become a nappy changing pro overnight

KEEP YOUR BABY’S ROUTINE IN CHECK Babies thrive on it – even on holiday

BABY CARE TIPS & TRICKS Decode baby’s cries and poos, and more!

CAR SEAT SAFETY 70% of children are not properly secured in cars – don’t let your child be one of them

Child ‘s Play

USING DAILY ACTIVITIES TO CONNECT WITH YOUR CHILD

TO CO-SLEEP OR NOT TO CO-SLEEP?

36 70

HOT MAMA’S GUIDE: Coping With A Summer Pregnancy

o deal How t ING IT h wit B G IN & HITT

The Beneﬁts Of Being A Working Mom

ISSUE 07 - SUMMER 2015

FREE

BA BY

TODDLER

F A M I LY FESTIVE HOLIDAY FOODS 70 Treat your taste buds with these recipes – or gift them to someone special SUMMER, SUN & SKINCARE Make sure you’re keeping your family protected this sunny season

REGULARS ED’S NOTE

SHARE YOUR STORIES

MEET THE COVER GIRL

WIN WIN WIN

MAGIC MOMENTS READERS’ PICS

17, 33, 57, 67

FOR DAD: DEAF & DETERMINED – A single father shares his story

PAMPERS MILESTONE Your child’s play & socialisation milestones

TAMING YOUR TODDLER How to deal with biting, hitting and pushing

ACTIVITY: HOMEMADE GIFTS

5 STEPS TO INSTIL AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE Teach your child to be thankful these holidays

WHAT’S HAPPENING IN YOUR CITY? 75 Cape Town * Durban * Port Elizabeth * Jozi & Pretoria

10 THINGS ABOUT LIFE WITH A TODDLER

BLOG: TWO’S A CROWD! Raising a toddler while pregnant

ED’S NOTE

It’s the home run... It’s the home run… as we run, jump, skip and slide to the last post. Another year is almost done! I know there are busy times ahead as our endless to-do list envelops our daily existence. But that list is probably our only sanctity in getting us to round this year off with a smile on our faces. This can become a very stressful time for the whole family, so make sure you take time out to stay connected with your children so that you both can enjoy the wonderful traditions of the season. There are so many activities that require our presence during these busy months, and working mums in particular find it even more challenging to juggle. As working mums, at the best of times, we often beat ourselves up about not being able to spend enough time with our children, but a recent study shows that there are some great benefits for children who are being raised by these industrious women. So have a read on page 14, put an end to the guilt, and enjoy the time you do spend with your little ones. And if you are not sure about how to make the best of those moments you do have with your children, do read Dr Laura Markham’s article on page 8. What I enjoy most about Dr Markham is that she always offers us great practical tools on how to physically interact with our children, to ensure that we connect with them even under the most challenging circumstances. If you are pregnant, then you will find we have the most amazing advice and information that will help you get through the season smiling, from coping with the summer heatwaves, travel tips, to enjoying the parties the festive season brings. Whether you are newly pregnant or about to pop, you too can still enjoy the season ahead. This season is also filled with the joy of giving and receiving, it’s about trying to find the perfect gift for your little one and friends and family. I think the art of this tradition lies in our ability to instil “an attitude of gratitude”, which begins with you, the parent. It’s about leading by example and nurturing an appreciative rather than a materialistic child, as you will find on page 63. With so much to tick off on your to-do list, I hope that you find the time in between all your tasks to relax and enjoy the season. We are so blessed with our beautiful climate to have endless days of outdoor fun in the sun. Basking in the joy of time spent together, you’ll be surprised at how much your children grow in the holiday too. It’s a bountiful time of summer loving and waking up to new tomorrows. Happy Holidays, Happy New Year… HAPPY PARENTING!

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF – Projeni Pather PRODUCTION & EDITORIAL COORDINATOR – Pippa Naudé CREATIVE – Berna Hancke WRITER – Mokotse Legodi COPY EDITOR – Cole Rautenbach MARKETING – Pippa Naudé pippa@exposuremarketing.co.za SALES – Marita Le Roux marita@exposuremarketing.co.za PRINTING & DISTRIBUTION – Paarl Media ACCOUNTS – Rebecca Seima rebecca@exposuremarketing.co.za CONTRIBUTORS Charine Glen-Spyron, Dr Jó-Marié Bothma, Kerry McArthur, Kim Jansen, Kim Lazarus, Dr Laura Markham, Mokotse Legodi, Natalie Nelson, Nenio Mbazima, Pippa Naudé & Shanêy Vijendranath. PHOTO CREDITS Nicholas Huisman, Shutterstock, Supplied. MamaMagic Milestones is the official in-store publication for the Baby City retail chain and is published by Exposure Marketing. PHYSICAL ADDRESS – Block 3, Fourways Office Park, Cnr Fourways Boulevard & Roos Street, Fourways TEL – 011 465 8955 EMAIL – info@exposuremarketing.co.za © Exposure Marketing. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or adapted without prior written consent of Exposure Marketing. While all reasonable precautions are taken to ensure the content herein is accurate and balanced, the editor, proprietors and publishers cannot accept any responsibility for loss, damage or inconvenience that may arise from or in connection with the content of this magazine. Exposure Marketing has the right to make alterations to any material submitted, and cannot be held responsible for the loss or damage of any material submitted to the publication. All prices quoted were correct at the time of going to press, and may vary from shop to shop. MamaMagic Milestones Standard Competition Terms & Conditions Eligibility: 1. Competition entries are open to South African residents only. Competitions are not open to employees of Exposure Marketing or Baby City, sponsors, their immediate families and agencies. Cost: 2. Each SMS entry costs R1; free minutes do not apply. Readers may SMS an entry as many times as they wish. Rules: 3. Prizes will be awarded to the first entries drawn at random and received before the competition closing date. The judge’s decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into.4. Winners will be notified by telephone, email or post to arrange delivery of the prize. 5. Winners must be willing to be photographed for possible publication in the MamaMagic Milestones magazine or the MamaMagic website or social media platforms, free of any fee. 6. All prize values are correct at the time of going to print. Prizes are not transferable and cannot be exchanged for cash. 7. Prizes awarded are the responsibility of the competition sponsors. 8. Prizes must be claimed within one year from date of issue they appear in and cannot be re-issued should they expire, or resent if they are returned. 9. We reserve the right to forward contact details of entrants to the competition sponsors. 10. All entrants agree to receive further promotional material from Exposure Marketing. If you do not want to receive further communication please ensure that you unsubscribe to any email newsletters or SMS that you may receive. 11. Participation in this promotion constitutes acceptance of these rules. Any violation or attempt to violate any of the above rules will result in the immediate disqualification of the transgressors. General: 12. Exposure Marketing, its employees, directors, representatives or agents will not be liable for any loss or damage incurred of whatsoever nature and however arising. 13. Exposure Marketing reserves the right to terminate this competition immediately and without notice should it be challenged, stopped or declared or become unlawful.

He feels mom s' He feelstouch. mom s' gentle gentle touch. His mind is rapidly His mind is rapidly

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LETTERS

Share Your Stories!

Stay-at-home Educator

My Beautiful Feeling

As a mom of four kids (my baby being just four months old), I am always reading parenting mags to help me through my challenging yet joyful life. I really enjoy the Milestones magazine, as it always has something relating to all my kids. I, too, was faced with the decision of private or public school for my children, and I finally decided to home-school Finding my kids for various reasons; The Right School for Your Children a choice that every parent should look at. We live in very challenging times where we constantly hear of abuse at schools. Rape, violence, and all sorts of abuse take place at our schools, whether it be from fellow students or even from educators. In order to protect my kids from these evils, I decided to homeschool them. Another great benefit of home schooling is spending quality time with my kids, something that every parent treasures. Maybe Milestones could also feature an article relating to home schooling. Thanks for the super mag and keep up the great job! Aysha Shaikh (Pretoria CBD)

After finding out that I was pregnant, a warm beautiful feeling filled my body. My 10-year-old daughter was even more excited to finally have a sibling. However, with my cardiac condition and hypertension I knew it was not going to be an easy ride. After only one gynaecologist consultation and at 25 weeks into my term, the doctors had to perform an emergency Caesarean delivery. With a birth weight of only 830g and at 31cm long, my second angel survived. I named her Simosihle, derived from Zulu meaning “beautiful feeling”. She was transferred to paediatric ICU and has been there since birth. She is a miracle baby and a little fighter. When other moms enjoy the luxury of holding their babies and breastfeeding, I sit by her bed praying and talking to her so that she may at least recognise my voice as my touch and scent are foreign to her. Until she is discharged, daily visits to the hospital are my only outings, so I can’t wait to take her home with me. Love, Mamohau Phatlane (Roodepoort, Johannesburg)

IN THE SPOTLIGHT

By Fiona de Villiers

Choosing your child’s school is not a decision to be made lightly and involves input from both family and educational stakeholders. Fiona de Villiers takes us through a comprehensive look at what this decision involves and the questions to ask to find the right school for your children. “They should put up a sign saying, ‘Apply for a place while pregnant’,” said a young mom wryly to me at the supermarket. She’d been turned down at her first school of choice for her toddler. Was finding another good school going be easy? It may seem a little over the top to pick a preschool for someone who hasn’t even been born yet, but the sooner parents secure a place for their little ones, the better.

A firm foundation

While the South African Schools Act No. 86 of 1996 mandates compulsory schooling for all children from the age of seven (Grade 1), learning starts long before that, says Sonja Giese, team leader at Ilifa Labantwana, an innovative national Early Childhood Development (ECD) programme based in Cape Town. She reiterates, “The period from conception to two years of age

constitutes the first 1 000 days of life. During this period, children are at their most vulnerable. Because it is a period of unprecedented social, cognitive, and physical growth, it is also a period of tremendous opportunity.”

21st century skills

The global explosion of technological innovation across all industries is just one of the reasons why the educational expectations of children are changing

Ed: Thanks for the wonderful idea! We may add this feature in a future issue of Milestones.

Ed: Simosihle does sound like a fighter! We hope you get to take her home very soon.

New Antenatal Knowledge

PREGNANCY

Own Your

Antenatal Care

After having a surprising positive pregnancy test in July 2015, a friend and I went to Baby City Sable Square to have a look around. Grabbing a free copy of Milestones magazine at the entrance was a godsend. I was pregnant with my third child, and my older kids were 15 and 11, so things had changed quite a bit since the last time I was pregnant. The article, Own Your Antenatal Care (p.20) in the Winter 2015 issue gave me the necessary wake-up call and information I needed to make informed decisions regarding my antenatal care. Thank you for a wonderful magazine! Zulpha Ackerdien (Crawford, Cape Town) Sister Andrea Klinkenberg breaks down your antenatal care timeline, so you can understand the importance of it, and make sure you stay on top of it!

Win a R500 Baby City Voucher Email your letters to milestones@mamamagic.co.za. The winning letter will receive a prize. In this issue, Mamohau Phatlane wins a R500 voucher with compliments from Baby City. www.babycity.co.za

CONNECT WITH US!

Regular antenatal checkups are your healthcare provider’s way of making sure that your pregnancy is progressing well, that your baby is healthy and growing suﬃciently, and that you are the healthiest you can be. This is largely done by detecting any conditions that could aﬀect your or your baby’s health. They are also a great way for you to receive information and health education to prepare you for the journey ahead.

Who performs the checkups?

You will have a number of antenatal checks throughout your pregnancy with either your obstetrician or your midwife. Which caregiver you choose will be determined by the type of birth you are planning for: obstetricians can offer both natural and Caesarean section births through their practices; however, all their deliveries will

take place within a hospital environment. Midwives, on the other hand, are more suited to assist you if you are planning a home birth, water birth, or active birthing.

How many antenatal checkups will you have?

The number of times you attend antenatal checkups is largely dependent on how many babies you have had, and whether there are any complications in your pregnancy. Typically, you will be seen every four weeks in your first and second trimesters, and thereafter, every two weeks in the third trimester. This means that if it’s your first pregnancy, you will have around 10 antenatal checkups. However, this may change depending on your caregiver’s policy, or on whether you are considered a low-risk or high-risk case.

8 – 12 Weeks: The first visit

Your first antenatal visit should take place not long after you find out you are pregnant – usually at around 8 – 12 weeks.

If it’s your first pregnancy, you will have around 10 antenatal checkups. However, this may change depending on whether you are considered a low-risk or high-risk case.

This is your way to let your obstetrician or midwife know that you are pregnant, and it gives them the opportunity to find out more about you and your general health. Your caregiver will take a full history from you regarding your health, the health of your family, and your lifestyle. They will check your height, weight, urine, and blood pressure – you can expect these measurements to be done at every checkup. It is extremely important to regularly monitor your blood pressure to ensure that any high blood pressure problems can be dealt with early on, as they can make your baby ill. Your

We would love to hear from you – so please connect with us via email or our social media profiles. Twitter: @MamaMagicSA Pinterest: MamaMagicSA Facebook: MamaMagicSA Email: milestones@mamamagic.co.za Website: www.mamamagic.co.za

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Facebook Fans Have Their Say

How old were you when you had your first child? We polled our Facebook moms to find out how old they were for baby #1. 0

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Meet our cover star

Harper Sophia Pen Lai is the sweet little girl on our cover this issue. She is a happy-go-lucky, 10-monthold little girl who loves blueberries and giggling. Her favourite things to do are meeting new people and splashing around in the water. She is always smiling and is the pride and joy of her mom and dad, Ashleigh Waterson and Greg Pen Lai. Cover girl: Harper Sophia Pen Lai Photographer: Paige Louw Cover: Ackermans - Dress, Mr Price Home - Throw. Inside: Cotton On Kids - Denim Dress & Floral Bubbysuit Stylists: Berna Hancke & Pippa NaudĂŠ

My First pregnancy is/was _____? Most of our Facebook fans didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t plan baby #1. Planned Surprise

Johannesburg based photographer Paige Louw, the owner of Photo Paige, uses natural light to capture families and little ones in sessions that are relaxed, spontaneous, authentically real and fun. She has a passion for children and loves to give little ones freedom to just be themselves and let their individual personalities shine through in the photos.

www.photopaige.co.za photopaige@live.com 076 780 5002

G I V E A W AY S

Win Win Win

Winning is easy with Milestones; simply enter by sending an SMS for your prize of choice, and your name could be picked in our lucky draw.

SMS Code: ENTER CABOODLE Win a Caboodle and Pigeon hamper to the value of R600! Caboodle and Pigeon are giving away a stunning Caboodle Everyday Bag together with a two pack of Pigeon Chamrose Baby Wipes plus a Pigeon Skincare Combo Pack. You are definitely going to need these on outings! The Caboodle Everyday Bag with adjustable shoulder straps can be worn, or hung on your stroller, and has plenty of pockets, a large changing mat together with insulated bottle pouch. Available from Baby City, pharmacies and selected retail outlets, and online stores.

SMS Code: ENTER MOTHER NATURE Win 1 of 3 Mother Nature Swimming Hampers to the value of R285.00 each. An ideal combination to win: Mother Nature sunscreen and swimming nappy, two of their top summer products to keep baby protected this summer! Mother Nature’s sunscreen is waterresistant, certified SPF 40 and made for sensitive skin. The Junior Swimming Champion reusable swim nappy is better for the environment and for your budget. They come in two adjustable sizes, and open out like a nappy making changes easier. Machine washable. Choose from a range of adorable colours. Available online, from www.mothernatureproducts.co.za.

SMS Code: ENTER BABYJOY Win one of three BabyJoy Diaper Hampers to the value of R199.99 each Now in South Africa: Japan’s No. 1 Baby Diaper! Changing has never been easier. BabyJoy pants are ultra dry, easy to wear, easy to change, have a 360° stretchy waistband, plus they are absorbent for up to 12 hours. Diapers are available in four sizes (Size 3: 7 – 12kg; Size 4: 9 – 14kg; Size 5: 12 – 17kg and Size 6: 15 – 25kg). (On your entry, please state which size diapers you will need for your baby, should you be chosen as a winner.) For more information, visit www.babyjoyclub.com.

To stand a chance to win one of these prizes, SMS the prize code (e.g. ENTER CABOODLE) with your full name, postal address and email address to 32015. Each SMS is charged at R1. Free minutes do not apply. Competition closes on Friday, 31 January 2016. Winners will be notified within three weeks. Standard Competition Terms and Conditions apply – see page 2.

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IN THE SPOTLIGHT

Playing with Your Child:

Games for Connection & Emotional Intelligence Clinical psychologist Dr Laura Markham provides a range of play solutions to help your child deal with big emotions, and which also promote bonding between children and parents.

“Play can be the long-sought bridge back to that deep emotional bond between parent and child. Play, with all its exuberance and delighted togetherness, can ease the stress of parenting. Playful Parenting is a way to enter a child’s world, on the child’s terms, in order to foster closeness, confidence, and connection.” From Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen I know you think you hate playing with your child, but what if I gave you permission to set a timer and forget about your to-do list and just connect with your child for ten minutes? What if I promised that if you do this on a regular basis, your child will become more co-operative, and you will feel more energised? What if it helped you to become a happier parent?

Why do kids want to play so much?

Children need to play. It’s their work. All mammals play; it’s their way of learning skills they’ll need when they’re full-grown – from finding food to getting along with others. It’s also the way small humans process their emotions. All day, every day, children have to manage complicated

feelings: fear (What if there IS something under the bed?), jealousy (Maybe mom does love my brother more!), humiliation (The teacher acted like I should already know that, and all the kids laughed!), panic (What if I don’t make it to the bathroom on time?), anger (It was my turn!), disappointment (Doesn’t anyone care what I want?!). The normal challenges of every day for a growing child of any age stimulate all kinds of feelings. Children release these emotions through play. Laughter, specifically, transforms our body chemistry by reducing stress hormones and increasing bonding hormones. Kids are more physical than adults. When they get wound up emotionally, their bodies need to discharge all that energy. That’s one of the reasons they have so much more energy than we do, so they wear us out.

Use play to bond

But we can use this to our advantage because when we play physical games with children, they giggle and sweat and scream – and they release the same pent-up stress hormones that they’d otherwise discharge with a tantrum. Playing is also how kids learn, so when you teach an emotional lesson by playing, your child really gets it. Best of all, playing helps parents and kids feel closer. I realise that at the end of the day you might be exhausted. I personally would much rather snuggle on the couch than initiate an active game. The good news is that these games don’t have to last long – maybe 10 minutes at most, or even as little as two minutes long. And believe it or not, most parents find them energising. That’s because the tension and irritation we carry around makes us tired. When we play, we discharge stress hormones just like our kids do, giving us more energy as we head into the evening. So when your child asks you to play, make a deal: sure, you’ll play dollhouse, or build a train track. But first, will they play a roughhousing game with you for a few minutes? Don’t be surprised if your child loves this kind of play so much, he begins begging for these games over and over.

Here are some ideas to get you started When your child is annoying, or in your face:

“Are you out of hugs again? Let’s do something about that!” Grab your child and give him a LONG hug – as long as you can. Don’t loosen your grip until he begins to squirm and then don’t let go immediately. Hug harder and say, “I LOVE hugging you! I never want to let go. Promise I can hug you again soon?” Then let go and connect with a big, warm smile, and say, “Thank you! I needed that!”

A more intensive version, for when a child has a new sibling, or you’ve been doing a lot of disciplining: Convince your child on a very deep level that you LOVE him by chasing him, hugging, kissing, then letting him get away and repeating – again and again: “I need my Michael. You can’t get away I have to hug you and cover you with kisses... oh, no, you got away... I’m coming after you... I just have to kiss you more and hug you more! You’re too fast for me... But I’ll never give up... I love you too much! I got you! Now I’ll kiss your toes... Oh, no, you’re too strong for me! But I will always want more Michael hugs…” This is my favourite game, guaranteed to transform your child’s doubt about whether he’s truly loved (and any child who is “misbehaving” harbours that doubt). I call this the Fix Game because it fixes whatever’s wrong. From a parent: “I’m kind of shocked how much my son is loving the Fix Game! I don’t think I’ve ever heard my son say, ‘Let’s do it again!’ so many times!”

A stepped-up version involving both parents: Jokingly fight over your child, vying to see who can snatch him up and hug him. “I want him!”, “No, I want him!”, “But I NEED him so much!”, “No, I need him! You ALWAYS get him!”

When your child is grumpy: “You seem to be in a NO mood. I have an idea. I want to hear you say NO as much as you want. I will say YES, and you can answer NO in the same tone of voice. So when I say YES in this low voice, you say NO in a low voice. When I say YES in this squeaky voice, you say NO in this squeaky voice. Okay?”

IN THE SPOTLIGHT

“As long as your child is laughing, that game is working to alleviate anxiety and increase wellbeing. Don’t be surprised if your child wants to play these games over and over.” To a child who is getting over-excited or too revved up: “You have so much energy right now. What can we do with all this energy? Do you want to spin around? Come over here (or outside) with me where it’s safe to spin around, and I’ll spot you.” Find a safe place where no other kids or parents are there to further stimulate him, and let him spin around, or jump up and down, or run in circles around you – whatever he chooses. When he drops in exhaustion, snuggle him and say, “It’s so much fun to be excited. But sometimes you get over-excited and you need a little help to calm down. Now, let’s take three deep breaths to relax. In through the nose, out through the mouth. 1... 2… 3... Good! Do you feel a little calmer? It’s good to know how to calm yourself down. Now, let’s go snuggle by ourselves and read a book for a bit.”

When you and your child seem to be having a lot of power struggles: Give your child the chance to be the more powerful one and to outsmart and overpower a terrible monster – you! Swagger and strut and roar at your child about how you will catch him and show him who’s boss... but when you chase him, always trip and bumble and let him outsmart you or overpower you and get away. Give him a remote and pretend he can make you stop, start, move forward and backward. When he high-fives you, pretend he almost knocks you over. Another version of this is giving your child a feather, or a pillow, to hit you with. Every time he hits you, fall over! Repeat for as long as he’s giggling. Acknowledge your child’s formidable power: “You are so strong! You pushed me right over!”

When your child is cheating at a game: Say, “Looks like we have new rules now... But howcome you always win? I hate losing!” Overdo your role as the “sore loser” so that your child gets to laugh at you. These are games I often recommend to parents, and while I have adapted them over the years, I didn’t invent them. Some originated from the rich tradition of play therapy or were invented by my clients; some were inspired by the work of Lawrence Cohen (Playful Parenting), Becky Bailey (I Love You Rituals), Patty Wipfler (Hand in Hand Parenting) and Aletha Solter (Attachment Play). For more ideas on using play to connect with kids and help them resolve challenges, I would highly recommend their books.

When your child is super clingy or has been experiencing separation anxiety: Cling to your child, being super exaggerated and silly. “I know you want me to let go so you can go play, but I NEED you! I only want to be with you. PLEASE be with me now?” Keep holding your child’s hand or clinging to his shirt. He will like the feeling that HE is the one in charge of letting go, rather than feeling pushed away. If you act silly enough, he will also giggle and let off some of the tension around goodbyes. When he definitively pushes you away, say, “It’s ok. I know you will come back. We always come back to each other.”

When your child goes through a stage of only wanting Mommy or Daddy: Let the preferred parent sit on the couch. Get between your child and that parent, and boast “You can’t get to Daddy! You are all mine! Only I get to be with you! I will keep you from getting to Daddy!” As he tries to get to Daddy, grab at him, but bumble and be unsuccessful. When he reaches Daddy, Daddy laughs, cheers, hugs him and then lets him go. You lament that he got through, but continue to boast and challenge him and try to grab him. Exaggerate your boasting. “You can’t push around me to get to Daddy!” and then bumble and let him push past you. He should giggle and giggle, which means that he is releasing his fears and anxieties.

Coming to a city near you! JOBURG WINTER 12 -15 MAY 2016 TICKETPRO DOME

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26 -28 AUG 2016 DURBAN EXPO CENTRE

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28 - 30 OCT 2016 CTICC

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So much to look forward to at MamaMagic From bottles & prams to car seats & toys, From sleep training to calming little boys. New products for you to explore, Expert advice that you will adore.

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IN THE SPOTLIGHT

When your kids are fighting a lot: When tempers are calm, say “Would you two please fight with each other now?” When they begin to fight, pretend to be a TV commentator: “We’re on the scene tonight watching two siblings who can’t seem to get along! Will they work things out or not? Stay with us while we observe this behaviour live! Notice how big brother is bossy, but little sister is provocative! Both of them want the same piece of salami! Can they work this out? Are they smart enough to realise there’s more salami in the fridge? Stay tuned...” Your kids will giggle and let off tension, and get to see how ridiculous they are.

When your child feels like a bottomless pit: Every day, spend 15 minutes snuggling. Revel in touching your child. Don’t structure this time. Just kiss him on the nose, nuzzle his hair, let him sink into the comfort of your lap. Even if your kid is eight, treat him as if he’s a baby, just beginning to be verbal. Rock him in your arms. Play the physical games you played when he was tiny. Resist tickling, which can make kids feel invaded and out of control. Mostly, just snuggle and lavish attention. If you want some help getting into the mood, look together at old baby pictures: “You were so adorable; almost as adorable as you are now!”

When your child goes through a stage of whining a lot: Remember that whining is an expression of powerlessness. Refusing to ‘hear’ until they use a ‘big kid’ voice further invalidates them. But of course you don’t want to reward whining by giving in to it either. Instead, express confidence that your child can use his strong voice and offer your assistance to help him find it, by making it into a game: “Hey, where did your strong voice go? It was here a minute ago. I LOVE your strong voice! I’ll help you find it. Help me look. Is it under the chair? No... In the toy box? No... HEY! You found it! That was your strong voice! Yay! I love your strong voice! Now, tell me again what you need, in your strong voice.” If this doesn’t work, it’s because your child needs more tenderness and maybe a chance to cry.

To help a child fall asleep at night: Say goodnight to each part of your child’s body, touching each part in turn gently, with a little massage. “Goodnight, shoulder... goodnight, arm... goodnight, elbow… goodnight, forearm… goodnight, wrist… goodnight, hand… goodnight, fingers.” Take your time so your child relaxes each part of his body as you ‘recognise’ it. The more you can simply relax and connect with your child, the more you are helping your child to be in his own body and be fully present.

When your child has stolen something: Get him laughing about this by enacting a stuffed animal ‘stealing’ things from all over the room. Meanwhile, the stuffed animal mother is searching for the stolen things: “I can’t find the dog dish anywhere! Wherever did it go?!” Of course, the pile of stolen things is right in front of her. You’ll still need to have a conversation with your child about how he wishes he could keep what he stole, but it must be returned, and that in the future he can ask you if he wants something. But playing a game like this first will take the shame and anxiety out of the situation for both of you, and will help your child be open to making amends.

“Remember that whining is an expression of powerlessness. Refusing to ’hear’ until they use a ‘big kid’ voice further invalidates them.”

“Children need to play. It’s their work. All mammals play; it’s their way of learning skills they’ll need when they’re full-grown – from finding food to getting along with others.” When your child has been screeching or complaining: Give permission: “Ok, there’s been so much complaining (or loud screeching)! This is your last chance to complain (screech) for the rest of the day. I’m setting the timer and putting on my earphones. I want you to complain (screech) as loud as you can for the next three minutes. You only have three minutes, so make the most of them. After that, we’re all back to normal inside voices. Three, two, one, GO!”

To help a child who’s coping with a challenging issue, like the start of school, or playground struggles, or being sick: Have one stuffed animal be the parent and one be the child, and act out the situation. Using stuffed animals removes it one step from reality, so most kids find it more comfortable, but some children like to actually act the situation out themselves (as opposed to using the proxy of dolls or stuffed animals). “Let’s pretend we’re in the sandbox and I want your truck, but you don’t want to share.” Or “Let’s pretend you’re the teacher and I’m the student.” Or “Let’s pretend you’re the doctor and I’m sick.” Playing out these situations that cause so much stress for kids helps them to feel more in control of their own emotions, and lets them be the powerful one in a situation where they might have felt powerless and humiliated in real life.

To work through a problem that keeps coming up, such as a child who dawdles in the morning or at bedtime: Sometime on the weekend, grab a mom and baby stuffed animal. Have them act out the morning (or bedtime) routine. Have the little one resist, whine, collapse. Have the mom ‘lose it’ (but don’t scare your child by overdoing it. Have the mom be a funny, incompetent bumbler). Your child will be fascinated. Then, hand your kid the ‘mom’ and play out the scenario again, with you being the kid. Make it funny so you can both giggle and let off tension. Make sure to include scenarios in which the kid goes to school in his PJs, or the mom goes to work in her PJs, or the kid has to yell at the mom to hurry up and get ready, or the mom says, “Who cares about that meeting? Let’s tell the boss it’s more important to find your toy car!” Give him in fantasy what he can’t have in reality. You may learn something about how to make things work better. Almost certainly, you’ll see more understanding and cooperation from your child on Monday. At the very least, you’ll diffuse the tension and get a great chance to see how your kid perceives you!

To reconnect: Start a pillow fight, a snowball fight, or a wrestling game in which you take each other’s socks off (an excuse for hugs). Or give your child a pillow to hold, and try to steal it from him. Always let your child win. Kids need to roughhouse, but you might even find you like it too! As long as your child is laughing, that game is working to alleviate anxiety and increase wellbeing. Don’t be surprised if your child wants to play these games over and over. They relieve stress, help your child master emotion – and believe it or not, they’re fun!

IN THE SPOTLIGHT

Moms Who Work & Why This Works For Their Children

By Kim Jansen

Many working moms face the guilt of going to work instead of staying at home with their children. Now, research shows that the children of working moms actually benefit from being raised by such industrious women. Kim Jansen explains. One of the greatest internal battles that all mothers fight is the guilt battle! Stay-at-home moms may fret over not fulfilling their own aspirations or whether they are setting examples for their children to develop themselves further. Working mothers in particular agonise over fears of not spending sufficient time with their children and whether or not this means that their children are getting ample love or attention.

It’s all about compromise

It’s true that stay-at-home mothers have the advantage of personally investing in their children and consistently seeing their development. However, if you’re the mom who substitutes nursery rhyme DVDs and precious reading time with laptops and the boardroom, take heart in the

mounting evidence showing that there are also numerous advantages for children of working mothers. NB: Keep in mind that there are many different benefits to being a working mother as well as to being a stay-at-home mother, and it’s important to understand that both types of mothers make compromises in how they spend time with their children – both of which will benefit them in different ways.

“The results of the study show that men who were raised by working mothers actually help their spouses with childcare and housework more than those raised by stay-athome moms.”

Harvard Business School study of working moms

Harvard Business School Professor Kathleen McGinn conducted a study involving 50 000 adults in 25 countries to determine how working mothers’ decisions not to stay at home influenced their children’s futures. The study forms part of Harvard Business School’s new gender initiative, which aims to reduce gender inequalities. Far too frequently there has been a focus on the negative aspects of working mothers, but the study turns this stereotype on its head. The results of the study show that men who were raised by working mothers actually help their spouses with childcare and housework more than those raised by stay-at-home moms. This is possibly due to

the fact that, while growing up, they saw every person in the household pitching in with housework and taking care of other family members.

Working mothers as models for daughters’ behaviour

The study revealed that the daughters of working mothers seemed to spend more time furthering their education, gaining employment in supervisory and more senior roles, and earning more money compared to the daughters of the stay-athome counterparts. However, this doesn’t mean that working moms compromised on the time spent with their children, nor that stay-athome moms jeopardised their children’s future material success. Significantly, it was shown that working moms do spend more or less the same amount of time with their children as stay-at-home moms. Both types of moms who work inside and outside the home have work to do – whether it’s administrative or attending meetings, or keeping the home in tip-top condition and restocking the fridge and grocery cupboards. When these moms spend time with their children, it works out to be of equal duration and value. The tremendous effort of the 21st century working mom stems from the desire to make up for the time spent away from her children. An exceptional long-term benefit for children of working mothers is that they have a far more liberal perspective on women’s roles in the workplace. We live in a world with more and more dual-income households, and where workplace attitudes concerning equality and the promotion of women are giving mothers more freedom to choose to work if they should want to. This is especially significant in our own developing country, which has a large number of single-parent households or households in which both parents have no option but to work in order to sustain a basic lifestyle.

Benefits for moms who work outside the home

What about the benefits for mom herself? Many moms unfortunately don’t have a choice whether to work or not because they are either single mothers, or their partner’s single household income places more strain on the family than they can cope with. As working mothers, many moms feel that they are actively assisting to alleviate financial pressure, which in turn alleviates their own internal stress because they have more financial control. Working mothers are also excellent personal role models for their children, who get to see their moms care for the home and their families while still being career women. According to the Harvard Business School research, this instils an excellent work ethic, specifically for daughters, who learn that they can have the best of both worlds – working and motherhood.

Working outside the home also helps moms to foster strong social connections. Yes, being a mother is packed to the brim with various activities, but this can still leave moms feeling isolated and alone. Being a mother is tiring and it’s not easy to maintain friendships or proactivity in relationships in the same way after a really long day. Working full time guarantees some sort of social connection with adults, which provides a sense of sanity for mothers who thrive on strong social connections. Working moms maintain their sense of who they are instead of centering their lives on motherhood. (There is nothing wrong with making your role as a mother your primary role, on the condition that you don’t lose your sense of self in the process.) Working outside the home also helps mothers to develop a strong sense of independence and self-sufficiency.

Is she superwoman… or simply

being a mom? “Daughters of working mothers seemed to spend Having grown up in a single-parent household in which my own mother had more time furthering to work, personally I cannot recall feeling their education, gaining unloved because my mother wasn’t home employment in supervisory during the day – I was too busy playing and more senior roles, and learning in school. Instead, my and earning more money memories are coloured with wonderful compared to the daughters evenings, weekends that always started off with my mother’s famous breakfasts of the stay-at-home in bed, and holidays in which my mother counterparts.” devoted herself to us. For moms, a major benefit of working outside the home is that developing a career that they’re passionate about really does instil a greater sense of purpose. Many women experience their sense of purpose through motherhood, but this isn’t the case for all moms. Every mom is unique and many women find a greater sense of purpose that extends beyond motherhood. If mothers feel that their talents, interests and passions are not being fulfilled, they may develop feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction with family life.

You may find that you’re the mother who gives attention and love before zooming off to work or between laundry loads or getting home on time for bathtime giggles and a meal. Other than alleviating the guilt that so many working mothers carry, what current research reveals is that whether you choose to work outside or inside the home is simply that: your choice. Both choices come with their own set of benefits and what is truly relevant, is simply the consistent love and attention that you so freely give your children.

MAGIC MOMENTS READER’S PICS

- Beautiful Bumps Colette Seyffert Paich

Tshegofatso + Jabulani Gololo

Odette Miller + her family

Jay & Tebogo Phalatsi Here are our favourite MamaMagicSA Facebook fans’ photos of their beautiful pregnant bumps. If you’d like to enter our next Magic Moments competition, “like” our MamaMagicSA page to be notified of the details. All featured photos receive two complimentary tickets to MamaMagic, The Baby Expo, and the winning photo also receives a R250 Baby City voucher.

PREGNANCY

SPONSORED EDITORIAL

a look at Your Child’s Play

Socialisation Socialisation Milestones Milestones

Playtime is Learning Time for Your Curious Child

Many parents don’t understand the complications and intricacies of their children developing interactive play skills, as all children progress through various stages of social development and play. Clinical psychologist and play therapist, Charine Glen-Spyron, outlines the process a young child takes to reach this important milestone.

Stage 1: Solitary Play

Stage 2: Parallel Play

The initial stage of play that a young child carries out is called solitary play, where the child plays by himself, with no or very little interest in those playing around him. During this developmental phase the child’s main focus is to master individual play with an object – manipulating the object, and refining gross and fine motor skills. In other words, your sixmonth-old baby will sit next to another child, but only focus on the toy in his hands and show little interest in what the other child is doing. This stage usually lasts up to the age of 10 months.

Parallel play is a form of play in which children play adjacent to each other, but do not try to influence one another’s behaviour. Children usually play alone during parallel play, but may also be interested in what other children are doing. This stage usually lasts until the age of three. During this phase of play, your child is screening his social surroundings, taking in all the interactions between others, learning from their play and copying their behaviour and methods, and preparing himself for the final stage of play. It is also during this stage that most parents become frustrated with their children’s inability to share. It is, however, completely normal for children in this stage to struggle with sharing, as they are testing their own and others’ limitations, control and responses. “Owning” a toy gives them a sense of security, control and power.

Once your child has built up confidence in relationships, you can gently encourage him and expose him to become active in more social environments.

Fortunately there are a few ways to help your child learn the basic concepts of sharing. These include: “Swapping” toys – This involves encouraging your child to allow a friend to play with some of his toys and then he can play with the friend’s toys. If he does not want to give his toys to the friend, you gently explain to him that he cannot play with their toys if he doesn’t share or swap. Having a special toy – Most children have one or two toys that they are significantly attached to. Allowing your child to keep their favourite toy, but swap or share other toys he plays with less often, also gives him the sense that he has some control over things that are important to him. You can even ask your child to choose which one of his toys he does not want to share, and then you explain that the others are for friends to also play with. Limiting taking toys to public places – Most parents throw a few toys in a bag and take it with them when they visit a restaurant or other public places. The diﬃculty is that when you are in a public place, other kids do not understand that they cannot play with your child’s toys. This often results in toddler – and even parental – conflict. If you do need to take toys with you, you need to help your child choose toys he is willing to share with others and explain to him that the “friends” at the restaurant will also want to play with his toys.

Note: If your child has severe social anxiety or is still struggling with building relationships at the age of five, it is advisable to consult with a psychologist who will help you determine the best way forward. Stage 3: Interactive Play This is the fastest growth period for the frontal lobe networks, and speed of processing, memory, and problem solving is increasing. Your child is now more capable of reading social situations and is starting to understand the basics of relationships. He will be keen to engage in imaginative and interactive play. Not all children are the same and your child’s personality will also become more evident during this stage. He may be a social butterfly and make lots of friends, or be more introverted, preferring the company of one or two friends. It is important for parents to not compare their children with others, and rather be supportive and be sensitive to their child’s social skills and needs. If your child prefers a more contained social environment, you can organise individual play dates and limit social situations where your child will feel overwhelmed. Once your child has built up confidence in relationships, you can gently encourage him to become active in more social environments. By the time your child reaches preschool he should able to make friends and have a blossoming social life that suits his unique little personality.

NEW

TODDLER

Taming Your Toddler: Tips for Dealing with

Biting, Hitting & Pushing By Kerry McArthur

Hitting, biting and pushing are quite common behaviours for toddlers, and are their way of expressing emotions they can’t yet verbalise. Kerry McArthur investigates the reasons for these behaviours and provides some tips on how to mitigate them becoming more serious. For the second time in a week I was told that my daughter (who is three) has been bitten. What is going on? Is she being picked on? Biting is common, so if this is happening to your child, you’re not alone; there are lots of other parents who have children who bite or are bitten. In spite of the frequency of biting, it always seems to be much worse than if your child was hit or pushed – it’s almost animal-like. We instinctively react emotionally and with horror, but shocking as it may be, these forms of aggressive behaviour are completely normal and developmentally appropriate. My dad always says, “Every child will go through every phase. What determines you to be a good parent is how quickly you bring them out of that phase.”

Why do children bite or hit?

Aside from the fact that biting and hitting or pushing are part and parcel of growing up, we still would like to understand why children feel the need to hurt their peers. The main reason for a child to react physically is because their language is not yet developed to the point where they can express themselves appropriately. Their solution is to lash out in a way that is instinctive, which is with their bodies in the form of biting, hitting, pushing, etc. Children will bite to cope with a challenge or to express a frustration. Before words, this is one of the only ways they can tell you that they are upset because their toy was taken, someone is standing too close, or it can even be because they are over excited. A boy will naturally use his fists to fight – it is part of his genetic makeup and it is up to us as parents and teachers to develop boys that will hold back before hitting.

What can you do to prevent biting or hitting?

The best path to prevention starts with observation. If you watch your child with others and take note of the times that she bites, you may notice a pattern emerging. Look for the following things: What happened right before the bite? Who was your child playing with? Was the same child bit or the same child doing the biting? Where was your child and what was she doing? From this information you will be able to pick up triggers and figure out ways to manage the environment to prevent biting or hitting from taking place.

My dad always says, ‘Every child will go through every phase. What determines you to be a good parent is how quickly you bring them out of that phase’.

If you see that your child is about to bite or hit you can try:

Immediately distracting your child by diverting their attention to a book or a toy. Discussing with your child – if they are old enough – how best they could have handled the situation that is triggering the need to bite. Offering other objects that can be safely bitten or chewed. This helps with oral stimulation. Disciplining consistently. Where possible, respond to each incident in the same way every time – this develops routine and an understanding of consequences.

Do not refer to your child as ‘a biter’. Labelling a child can result in them taking on the identity of the label, which will increase and intensify the behaviour rather than correct it.

At what point do you seek help?

What do you do if your child bites or hits?

A child will often behave in a specific way to get attention. Whether the attention is positive or negative, receiving any attention means they have achieved what they set out to do. Try the following to prevent the biting or hitting from becoming a habit: The moment a child is bitten, shift your attention to the bitten child, not the biter. By doing this, you are clearly communicating that biting or hitting a friend does not result in getting more attention. Do not refer to your child as ‘a biter’. Labelling a child can result in them taking on the identity of the label, which will increase and intensify the behaviour rather than correct it. Always keep your cool. If you shout, you are displaying the same lack of control as the child, and essentially you are throwing an adult version of a temper tantrum. It is never ok for your child to hurt you, so hitting or biting you is out of the question and should not be allowed under any circumstances. However, if they do, don’t bite a biter back or hit a hitter as punishment. Where possible, model non-aggressive behaviour. By you doing the same thing back to the child, you’re saying that it is okay behaviour.

Remember:

Do not take it personally Set clear limits It is not okay for your child to hurt you! Discipline consistently Re-direct behaviour Do not bite for biting! Model non-aggression

If, by the age of three and a half, your child is still biting or if the intensity or number of incidents is increasing then it might be necessary to involve a child development specialist. Professional help can guide you in identifying the reasons for the aggression and help you to develop a strategy for addressing this behaviour. Keep in mind that a child (especially a boy) will use their hands to hit or push other children, much later into their pre-school years, but again look for intensity and frequency increases to determine when to seek help. Enduring these stages of physical aggression as a part of non-verbal communication is a very natural part of childhood development. Don’t waste energy blaming yourself, but rather guide your child constructively through this stage.

CRAFT TIME:

TODDLER

Homemade Cookie Jar Gift Encourage your little one to help you make gifts for special family members, like granny and grandad, who will be delighted to receive something sweet made with the sweetest ingredient of all – love! What you will need for each gift:

• Homemade chocolate chip cookies (see page 73) • A glass jar (Console has some lovely options) • A sheet of homemade wrapping paper (see below) • A gift tag • Ribbon

how to make the wrapping paper 1. 2.

3. 4.

Lay out the newspaper, and put one sheet of brown paper on top of it. Pour your paint colour of choice into a paint tray or a polystyrene vegetable tray, and let your little one choose which cookie cutter they want to start with. Next they need to dunk the cookie cutter into the paint, the same way they would if cutting a cookie, and then press it onto the paper in the brown same way. Remind them to lift the cookie cutter up directly, to prevent smudging. They have made their first stamp! Let them repeat this over and over so they fill up the page, but keeping enough space between the shapes so you can see them clearly.

What you will need TO MAKE the wrapping paper:

A roll of plain brown paper Cookie cutters – in any shapes you like Paint of your colour choice – preferably something bright to pop on the brown paper A paint tray or polystyrene vegetable tray Newspaper

If you want to, you can add a second colour and a second stamp to the same paper. Let the paper dry, after which it can be used a wrapping paper.

DID YOU KNOW?

Toddlers love using their hands, and letting them help you mix the cookie dough and pour ingredients, as well as stamp the wrapping paper, is great for their sensory and motor skills development.

Assembling the gift: Fill the mason jar with cookies Wrap the jar with your wrapping paper Attach the gift tag with ribbon to the gift

FREE PRINTABLE COLOURING GIFT TAGS

If you don’t have gift tags, you can also make your own – there are lots of free printable versions online, such as www.dltk-cards.com.

Steps to Instil

An Attitude

of Gratitude By Pippa NaudĂŠ

Summer holidays, Christmas, family visits â&#x20AC;&#x201C; this time of the year also means gifts, sweets and other treats, especially when small children are involved. The end of the year seems to be all about spoiling little ones, and some parents worry that it will spoil them, because children can quickly grow to love, expect, and even demand these things. How can you as a parent strike the balance between giving your children a lot and ensuring that they are appreciative? Instilling an attitude of gratitude in your child from a young age has a number of benefits. Studies show that those who are truly appreciative for all they receive in life (for both material and immaterial things) tend to be happier, live more contented lives, have higher self-esteem, more empathy and optimism, and even more positive attitudes towards their family and school. Appreciative people are also more likeable, and are therefore more likely to form friendships and other positive relationships.

So what can you do to teach your child gratitude?

As one mother admitted, she taught her three-year-old son to always say thank you, but realised that this in itself was not enough to make him understand or experience gratitude. It was just a word he had to say. Yes, saying the word is very important and it is a part of gratitude, but there is also a lot more to it. Here are five steps to help instil an attitude of gratitude in your child.

1. Make it part of your routine

Repetition is the best way to learn, so make being grateful a part of your daily routine. Perhaps at dinner or during the bedtime routine, ask your child what three things they are grateful for. Examples of things to be grateful for include something that happened in the day (for example, that they had a fun playdate with a friend or went for ice cream with granny) or it could be for something more general (maybe a favourite toy they have or because so-and-so is their friend). By making them think about and identify these things, it will make them more conscious of how fortunate they are to have them, rather than simply expecting them.

As a parent, you need to demonstrate all the principles you are trying to teach your child.

TODDLER

2. Live the lesson

As a parent, you need to demonstrate all the principles you are trying to teach your child. You cannot tell your child to be grateful, but then live by a diﬀerent set of rules. Make sure you show gratitude on a regular basis. Say thank you and mean it. When they tell you what three things they are grateful for, you should also list three gratitudes you have. And try to be grateful for a range of things – not just material things – which brings us to the next point.

3. Minimise the material rewards

Encourage your child to not only want and value material things, like toys. This can be hard, as material things are easy to want, to gift and to appreciate. They are also clear and obvious things you can touch and name, making them easier for young children to understand. However, if you place too much value on material items, your child will lose sight of other very important things to value, such as other people’s eﬀorts, time and love. So why not ask family to give experience gifts rather than physical gifts, such as taking your child to a play or theatre performance for his birthday? Or maybe encourage your child to request two birthday gifts each year from you: a material thing they want, such as a toy, and also an activity they would like to do with you, which will create a happy memory and be something they can keep and treasure for long after the birthday has passed… and the toy has been forgotten. And if you want to reward your child for good behaviour, don’t immediately reach for your purse to buy some sweets. Instead, tell them why you are so impressed by what they did. Hug them. Let them spend time with you doing something of their choosing. Do not set up the expectation that they deserve a material reward for doing something good.

Doing good things for others not only makes you feel good about yourself, but makes you aware of and appreciate what you have. 4. Have a stash of thank you notes in the house

As soon as your child can hold a crayon, encourage them to draw a picture as a thank you gift when a friend has given them something, or one of your family members has looked after them for the afternoon. When they get older, they can sign a thank you card. Write the card for them, but involve them with what you are writing, so they understand why they are saying thank you. And then, when they are old enough, they will be able to write their own cards. Taking the time out to express their thanks like this is a great way to make them aware of why they are saying thank you.

5. Do good as a family

Doing good things for others not only makes you feel good about yourself, but makes you aware of and appreciate what you have. All too often we fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to people who have more than us, while forgetting to recognise that there are other people who have much less than we do. By involving your children in volunteering at a charity or donating their unwanted items to a good cause, you will make them understand how lucky they are to have the life they have. All of these suggestions take time and eﬀort, but you will find the rewards you reap are worth it. Not only are you nurturing a child who is more appreciative of everything, but you’ll rediscover the depth of your own gratitude too!

All too often we fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to people who have more than us, while forgetting to recognise that there are other people who have less than we do. Family volunteering

More and more, young children are being inspired to make positive changes in the world around them. It takes just a short search on social media to discover young trailblazers who have chosen to donate their birthday money to animal welfare organisations, raise money for charities by selling their hand-made goods, or give their time to those in need. You can inspire an attitude of gratitude by encouraging your children to volunteer at non-profit organisations, especially animal shelters and SPCAs that need hands-on input just as much as they need financial support. Or your little one could select toys they no longer want, to donate to children at an orphanage. If you are throwing out their old clothes, involve them by getting them to help you pack up the clothes and then hand them over to the charity in question. NB: Always confirm the volunteer protocol with the charity of your choice before you take your child there, as they may have important rules in place to protect everyone involved, which need to be respected. Struggling to find a good charity to get involved in? Visit www.mandeladay.com and look at all of the many great suggestions they oﬀer under Take Action. Make every day a Mandela Day!

10 Things

About Life With A Toddler If you think you have seen it all, a toddler will probably prove you wrong. If you already parent a toddler, you’ll know what we’re talking about!

Having a baby is a life-changing event. And as your child starts to grow up, don’t for a second think that things will settle down. Instead, she will continue to radically surprise and amuse you, challenge your limits, and enrich your life. Here are just a few things that you can expect from your child during the toddler years:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

8. 9. 10.

She will leave you exhausted. This is because two is the most active age in a person’s life. One study found that two-year-olds take an average of 175 steps in a minute. Your child will become an avid naturalist and rip off her clothes at any opportunity; often in public and while taking 175 steps a minute. Don’t worry, she will grow out of this. Most toddlers are ambidextrous, but by about two or three years old they will have chosen a dominant hand. Ninety percent of the time, this will be the right hand. Until then, she will be able to remove clothes with both hands equally well. She will favour words like “No” and “Why?”, because toddlers like to push the boundaries and challenge everything. This is a good thing, really! It shows she is learning about herself, the world, and her own power within it. You might also be the parent of the one out of five toddlers who can open child-proof lids. Luckily toddlers come with an alarm system – it’s called silence. If you cannot hear them, they are getting into trouble. Your carefully established sleep routine could go out the window as your little one starts to fear that there are monsters under her bed, has nightmares, or becomes aware that there are other things happening while she is meant to be sleeping (basically she will have a bad case of FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out). This means she will rebel against bedtime, and even sneak out of bed during the night. What can you do? Be alert, at all times. Fussy eating is as popular for toddlers as fine dining is for adults. This means that at some point you will struggle to get her to eat anything, never mind a balanced diet. You will become very accomplished at disguising foods and making up white lies – including to yourself – such as: tomato sauce is made with real tomatoes and therefore it is basically the same thing. Despite being picky about what goes in her mouth, she could decide to go through a biting phase. Suddenly your arm, or bits of other children, will be what she wants to sink her teeth into. This is likely to be her way of expressing anger or frustration. Stay calm, but remain firm about the no-biting-humans policy. (See page 60 for more on this.) One day, your child will decide she hates things that she normally loves. And this hate will be deep seated and vocal. There are lots of reasons why this could happen, including from one bad experience, so you will need to draw on your patience (again) to stay calm and be supportive. And last but certainly not least, she will love you with exuberance and without inhibition. From sloppy kisses, to weird gifts and poetic declarations, she will make your heart melt and you will know that she is worth it all!

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READER’S PICS

- Family Selﬁe Meetesh, Kirti, Ameet & Meera Kunver

The Smit family

Family

MAGIC MOMENTS

Philile Zikalala & daughter Asemahle Anelisa Ndlovu

The Meriﬁelds Here are our favourite MamaMagicSA Facebook fans’ photos of their family selfies. If you’d like to enter our next Magic Moments competition, “like” our MamaMagicSA page to be notified of the details. All featured photos receive two complimentary tickets to MamaMagic, The Baby Expo, and the winning photo also receives a R250 Baby City voucher.

FOR DAD

Deaf Determined A Single Father Shares His Story

Being a dad is tough. Being a single dad is even harder. So, what about being a single dad who is also deaf? Nenio Mbazima makes it sound easy!

1. Tell us a about Nenio Mbazima, what is your story? When I was 10 years old, I had meningitis, which left me deaf. You will find it strange that I’m glad that I became deaf, but most people die from meningitis and I was given a second chance at life. I grabbed this with both hands. It wasn’t always easy – I was very angry initially, but after I embraced my deafness and learned sign language, everything improved. I finished school as the only deaf child surrounded by hearing children, and this success further motivated me, so I went to university and obtained a qualification in film production. In 2002 I married my wife, and in 2009 she gave birth to our daughter, Destina. Her name means “happiness” in Ethiopian. The love I have for Destina can move mountains and shake the earth. Sadly, my wife and I separated in 2012, two weeks short of our tenth wedding anniversary. I found myself faced with the responsibility of raising Destina on my own. I’ve been a single parent for three years now and it’s my proudest achievement to date.

2. Tell us about your relationship with your daughter. Destina and I have a very strong bond; we are best friends. We talk about everything. I teach her sign language and she teaches me how to better pronounce words that I mispronounce. From the age of two, she noticed that I could not hear and she started using her hands to communicate with me. Sometimes she creatively developed her own sign language, some of which I have adopted and still use. These days, if she notices that I’m struggling to read the lips of hearing neighbours and friends who are talking to me, she chips in to interpret what they are saying in sign language. It makes me so proud of her.

You will find it strange that I’m glad that I became deaf, but most people die from meningitis and I was given a second chance at life.

3. What characteristics of yours can you see in your little girl? Believe it or not, I may be deaf, but I belt into a song every day, both at home and at work. I love singing. When Destina was two years old, I believed I could sing well because she would dance to my voice. But as she got older, she started covering her ears and saying I’m a bad singer. I can see that my love of singing has rubbed oﬀ on her and I bought her a guitar so she can learn to play music.

Believe it or not, I may be deaf, but I belt into a song every day, both at home and at work. I love singing. When Destina was two years old, I believed I could sing well.

4. Being a dad is tough, but being deaf must bring some additional and unique challenges to your role. What do you struggle with the most? Yes, it has had its ups and downs. Between the age of three and four, Destina would get very angry with me and slap me, jump up and down, or kick the air in frustration because I couldn’t read her lips or understand what she was trying to tell me. It was a very diﬃcult time for both of us. Luckily we have been able to move past this. Today, if she doesn’t know how to say something in sign language and I fail to lip read, she stays calm and we both keep on trying until I manage to catch what she is saying. She has a strong memory, so if I teach her once she never forgets.

5. What advice would you like to give parents about teaching their young children about deafness, and how to treat deaf people? Some people seem to believe that “if you hear nothing, you know nothing.” This attitude creates a wall between deaf and hearing people. Parents are the best people to break down this wall by teaching their children that deaf people are normal. We just speak a diﬀerent language. Parents should encourage their young children to meet and play with deaf children. Not only will they stand a chance to make new friends, but they could also learn a new language, which opens up the way to more friendships, or even job opportunities.

Parents need to teach their children that deaf people are normal.

If you’d like to find out more about Nenio, you can read his autobiography titled Strong Wind. For more info, go to: www.strongwind.co.za

F A M I LY

It’s the holiday season, which means it is also time for mouth-watering, taste bud tickling, delectable delights – like these ones! If you have the patience and feel like challenging yourself, make a macaroon wreath – they are so beautiful and your guests will be blown away.

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F A M I LY

Meringues keep well, so make them in advance and simply use as a treat or a topping on cakes or ice cream.

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All recipes here are extracted from For the Love of Baking by Sarah Dall (Struik Lifestyle, available in Afrikaans & English). To WIN a copy of this book and tickets to MamaMagic, SMS: â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Enter Baking + your full nameâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to 32015.

The winner must collect the book from the MamaMagic Expo in JHB, CPT or DBN. Standard competition Terms & Conditions apply - see page 2.

Sun &Skincare Summer

F A M I LY

By Mokotse Legodi

The importance of skincare is essential for your family, especially when you’re outdoors and exposed to the harsh rays of the sun. To ensure your family’s skin is protected this summer, follow these skincare rules:

The golden rule of skincare is to always ensure that you apply sunscreen 20 – 30 minutes before your family steps out into the sun. This is the approximate amount of time it takes for the UV blockers in the sunscreen to bond to your skin. Many people also have the misconception of only applying the sunscreen when it’s hot, or just once before going out into the sun for the day, but this is not the case. Effective use of any sunscreen includes reapplying it every few hours or after swimming or perspiring, to prevent sunburn.

Over and above applying an SPF sunscreen, make sure you use hats, sunglasses, umbrellas and other sun barriers throughout the day for added protection.

The pigment in pregnant women’s skins reacts more strongly to the sun and is much more sensitive, which may lead to heat rashes, skin patching and blotching of your skin colour (chloasma). For extra precaution, moms-to-be can avoid the sun during its most intense hours – from 11h00 to 15h00. When you do go out into the sun, wear protective clothing such as hats and sarongs, which work well to keep the skin protected from the sun. Be sure to also choose lighter colours that reflect the sun as opposed to darker colours that absorb the heat.

Don’t make the mistake of assuming that the best sunscreens come with the highest price tag or the highest sun protection factor (SPF). To ensure that you are purchasing the right skin protection, check whether the item includes a Skin Cancer Foundation Seal of Recommendation, and also that it has an SPF of at least 15 to 30.

Some people are allergic to certain ingredients in sunscreens, so if you are using a new product for the first time (on yourself or a family member), do a sensitivity test first. Apply a small amount of sunscreen on an area of the skin like the shoulder or elbow pit. If there’s no allergic reaction after an hour, you can go ahead and use the product.

Because babies’ skin is very sensitive, it is advised that parents avoid applying any lotion or chemicals to baby before six months of age (unless you have consulted a paediatrician who has advised you otherwise). Accessories like sun hats are ideal for ensuring that baby is protected from the sun, as is staying in the shade and avoiding being outdoors in the middle of the day when the sun is at its hottest.

Remember that even on a cloudy, overcast day, the sun’s harsh UV rays still penetrate the clouds and can burn your skin. Don’t take chances by going outdoors in summer without applying sunscreen to the whole family.

Please note that all details of events and venues published here were correct at the time of going to print, and are subject to change at the discretion of those responsible for them.

What’s

happening

In your City!!

It’s summer time! And this means holiday time. Public holidays over this period include the Day of Reconciliation on 16 December, Christmas Day and Boxing Day on 25 and 26 December, and New Year’s Day on 1 January.

Events MamaMagic, The Baby Expo is South Africa’s biggest and best parenting expo with everything you need under one roof, including exciting show specials, competitions and daily shows with Barney. Cost: Children under 10 enter free, adults for R60 Where: Cape Town International Convention Centre (CTICC) When: 30 October – 1 November from 09h00 to 18h00 Info: www.mamamagic.co.za Carols by Candlelight will again be held in the beautiful outdoor setting at Vergelegen. Where: Great Lawn, Vergelegen Estate, Somerset West When: 16 December Info: www.vergelegen.co.za/blog.html Noddy 2015 returns to Weltevreden Estate, so pack your picnic blanket, snacks and drinks, and settle in for a fun Noddy Christmas Show. Proudly sponsored by Round Table. Where: Weltevreden Estate, Stellenbosch When: 4, 5, 6, 11, 12, 13 & 14 December, doors open at 18h00, show is from 19h00 – 21h00 Info: www.noddy.org.za Titanic: The Artifact Exhibition tells the human stories through authentic artefacts recovered from the wreck site. Visitors assume the role of a passenger and follow a chronological journey from the ship’s construction to life on board; the tragedy of the sinking, and the efforts to recover and conserve the wreckage for future generations. Cost: R85 – R350 (packages available) Where: Watershed, V&A Waterfront, Breakwater Boulevard When: 27 November 2015 to 14 February 2016, from 09h00 – 19h00 Info: 083 610 0943, info@exporsa.co.za or visit www.exporsa.co.za

CAPE TOWN When: Every Saturday morning, with shows at 10h00 and 11h15 Info: 021 783 2063 Sea Point Pool & Long Street Baths are ideal for those people who don’t have a pool at home and don’t feel like going to the beach. Both venues have pool facilities for small children, and are watched over by lifeguards during the summer season. Sea Point Swimming Pool Cost: R10.50 for kids and R21 for adults Where: Lower Beach Road, Sea Point When: Monday – Sunday: 07h00 – 19h00 (summer), 05h00 – 17h00 (winter) Info: 021 434 3341 Long Street Baths Cost: R10.50 for children and R21 for adults Where: Top of Long Street, City Centre When: Monday – Sunday: 07h00 – 19h00 Info: 021 422 0100 Stellenbosch Toy and Miniature Museum is housed in an old 18thcentury parsonage, and features an assortment of vintage playthings including tiny replicas of farm houses, miniscule tea sets, porcelain dolls in period clothing, well-loved teddies and hundreds of Dinky Cars, trucks, convertibles, fire engines and motorbikes. A stand-out feature is the detailed miniature display of the Blue Train and its route through the Winelands to the Karoo. Cost: R5 for children; R15 for adults Where: Market Street (behind the Information Bureau), Stellenbosch When: Monday – Saturday: 09h00 – 16h30 Info: 079 981 7067 or 021 882 8861

Venues The Rainbow Puppet Theatre puts on shows that are inspired by classic Grimm’s fairy tales and that have been re-imagined to be kid-friendly. They have over 300 handcrafted puppets, and all the backdrops, set pieces and props are custom-made, with live sound effects and music courtesy of the five talented resident puppeteers. The shows are recommended for little ones from age four and up. Cost: R20 for adults and children. Tickets can be bought at the venue. Where: The kindergarten building at the Constantia Waldorf School, Spaanschemat River Road, Constantia

To advertise here or list your events, classes, venues & restaurants please contact pippa@exposuremarketing.co.za.

W H AT ’ S O N

JOZI & PRETORIA JoziKids is an online events directory. Here are their top recommendations for young families in Joburg. For more ideas, visit www.JoziKids.co.za. Please note: Events and venue information is subject to change – please check online for the most up-to-date information.

Events MamaMagic, The Baby Expo is South Africa’s biggest and best parenting expo with everything you need under one roof, including exciting show specials, competitions and daily shows with Barney. Cost: Children under 10 enter for free, adults for R80 Where: Ticketpro Dome When: 26 – 29 November from 09h00 to 18h00 Info: www.mamamagic.co.za Centrum Kids Like2Bike series promises a fun-filled morning out for the whole family with scenic landscapes and safety in mind. Entertainment is provided for the kids after their ride, as well as food and drinks on sale. Every child will receive a medal and goodie bag with the chance of also receiving a limited edition t-shirt at the series final if they participate in three of the six events. The main aim of these events is to foster a love of riding and enjoyment of the outdoors. There will be 2km, 5km, 10km, and long and short duathlon options. Children having fun on their bikes is what it’s all about! Cost: R140 pre-entry online via www.like2bike.co.za, or on-the-day entry of R150 Where: Inanda Country Base, Rose Road, Kyalami When: 1 November 2015. Registration

at 07h00. Start time at 08h00 Info: Kirsty on 083 326 6721, kirsty@like2bike.co.za or www.like2bike.co.za

Classes & workshops Health coach Christine Phillips is an author and mum of three, and offers personal health coaching, ensuring you are equipped with the best knowledge to make the correct nutritional choices for your family. She also runs the Little Cooks Club and facilitates the L.E.A.N. workshops. Cost: Introductory offer of R1100 for the whole course. Where: All areas in Gauteng, as well as online coaching Info: Christine on 083 556 3434, headoffice@littlecooksclub.co.za, or www.littlecooksclub.co.za/health-coach/ FUNdamentals Like2Bike Skills Clinic Cost: R250 Where: Northern Farm When: 8 November from 08h00 to 10h00 Info: Kirsty on 083 326 6721, kirsty@like2bike.co.za or www.like2bike.co.za ﬁtmommy offers an innovative fitness programme that caters for the changing lifecycle of a woman from pre-natal through to post-natal and from infant

To advertise here or list your events, classes, venues & restaurants please contact pippa@exposuremarketing.co.za.

JOZI & PRETORIA to toddler fit mommies (with or without baby). fittummy is a prenatal programme for expecting mums wanting to stay healthy. fitbaby is a postnatal programme for mum and babe, while fitmommy is a postnatal programme for more intense workouts without baby. “Come burn your baby fat and get a better body than before!” Cost: R860 per camp with a discounted loyalty structure in place Where: Fourways and Douglasdale When: Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. fittummy: 09h45 to 10h30; fitbaby: 10h30 to 11h30; fitmommy: 17h30 to 18h30 Info: Debbie Ross on 0828952513, admin@fitmommy.co.za or www.fitmommy.co.za

and activities to help a child’s musical development and life skills. Every child is born a tiny, musical genius: a Mini Maestro! Cost: R55 per class Where: Parkmore, Sandton When: Weekdays only Info: Estea on 071 245 0055, info@minimaestro.co.za or www.minimaestro.co.za

“I have hardly looked forward with enjoyment to things.” “I have been so unhappy that I have had difficulty sleeping.” “I have felt sad or miserable most of the time.” “I have been so unhappy that I have been crying often.” “The thought of harming myself has occurred to me.” If you felt these statements to be true for you

Mony’s Fishers Swim School offers over the last 2 weeks, you may be experiencing Perinatal Distress and Anxiety. individual swimming lessons for babies You are not to blame and you are not alone! and kids in an indoor heated pool, all year round. Lessons are age appropriate, understanding that each child learns at a different pace, depending on development and personality. Cost: Babies – R350 per month. Learn-towww.pndsa.org.za swim – R490 per month Where: Constantia Venues When: Open Monday to Friday: 08h00 to Freerange Lifestyle Centre is an 18h00, Saturday: 07h30 to 13h30 upmarket, child-friendly centre with PNDSA Milestones.indd 1 2015/10/08 Info: Kerry on 082 838 8950, delicious food and fun for the whole family. monysfishers@mwebbiz.co.za or A fully secured centre focusing on children, www.monysfishers.co.za this is also a party venue in the heart of Fourways, where one can eat, play and shop. Parenting workshops (one hour) to help The centre features age appropriate play you understand play, development and areas and a party venue with childminders, the importance of movement for babies, sand art and activity centre, bike track, toddlers and pre-schoolers. Make growing wooden fantasy castle, adventure play gym up fun – play to think, think to play! Think to and much more! learn, learn to think! Where: Rustic Timber and Garden Centre, 42 Cost: R80 per one hour workshop Witkoppen Rd, Cnr Kingfisher Dr, Fourways Where: Pretoria East, close to Silverlakes When: Restaurant open 7 days a week. When: weekly classes Shops open Tuesday to Sunday: 09h00 to Info: Magdelize at info@playlearnwin.co.za 17h00 Info: Leigh on 0826961062, Mini Maestro is a weekly musical class leigh@freerangelife.co.za or for toddlers and pre schoolers using songs www.freerangelife.co.za

Munch Café is a fresh, welcoming environment, where families come together around a table in an upmarket and informal setting, and where both the young and old feel at home. The coffee is home roasted, and the blended beans produce a smooth, dark, sweet and aromatic coffee. All the breads - from ciabatta to buns and brioche are lovingly baked and served fresh daily. Where: Branches in Parktown North, Bryanston, Sandton, Parkhurst and Kyalami When: Open 7 days a week from 08h00 to 17h00 Info: Stephenie on 011 463 7056, info@munchcafe.co.za or visit: www.munchcafe.co.za

Services Pikanini Baby Academy comprises early childhood developmental experts that provide a range of private consultations and workshops to empower parents to deal with the challenges of parenting children from birth to age four. They offer a range of services and products that support their consultations, including baby care/ nanny training, play and learn stimulation workshops, and routine and sleep consultations. Where: East Rand, greater Johannesburg 10:17 AM Suburbs, Pretoria and Rustenburg Info: Una van Staden, una@pikanini.co.za or visit www.pikanini.co.za Stimustation is an all-in-one child centre with a variety of services to offer you and your child, with a lovely tea garden and party venue. Stimustation includes services such as Kindermusik classes, occupational therapy, play therapy, physiotherapy and much more. Where: Doringkloof Tshwane/Pretoria When: Monday to Friday: 09h00 to 17h00. Saturday: 09h00 to 13h00 Info: Elrika on 012 667 5199, info@stimustation.co.za or www.stimustation.co.za

To advertise here or list your events, classes, venues & restaurants please contact pippa@exposuremarketing.co.za.

W H AT ’ S O N

DURBAN KZNKids is an online events directory. Here are their top recommendations for young families in Durban. For more ideas, visit www.kznkids.co.za. Please note: Events and venue

information is subject to change – please check online for the most up-todate information.

Classes & Workshops Health coach Christine Phillips is an author and mum of three, and offers personal health coaching, ensuring you have the knowledge to make the correct nutritional choices for your family. She also runs the Little Cooks Club and facilitates the L.E.A.N. workshops. Cost: Introductory offer of R1100 for the whole course Where: All areas in KwaZulu-Natal, as well as online coaching Info: Christine Phillips on 083 556 3434, headoffice@littlecooksclub.co.za, or www.littlecooksclub.co.za/health-coach/ Tots n Pots offers fun hands-on workshops, birthday parties (such as Masterclass Parties, Little Ladies High Teas, Top Chef Pizza Party and Teddy Bears Picnic) and holiday clubs for children to attend with their parents or grandparents, or to be dropped off and collected. Each child works individually (with the help of their parents if necessary) and while the food is baking, they do a small craft session. They make yummy goodies – from cinnamon rolls to quiches or various sorts of muffins. Where: Salt Rock, Berea, Hillcrest, Umhlanga, Morningside When: Monday to Saturday Info: Angie Adam on 083 400 1288 or angie@totsnpots.com or visit www.totsnpots.com

Shongololo Shakers provides a creative, positive and engaging class in which babies, toddlers and young children enjoy their first musical experiences – inspiring a life-long love of music, rhyme and stories. It’s a great opportunity for children to not only acquire effective learning skills from an early age, but to also improve on prime and specific areas of their learning and development in a fun environment. It’s a wonderful bonding time for parent/caregiver and child while enhancing communication, social skills, physical development, literacy and numeracy. Where: Hillcrest, Westville, Durban North When: Monday to Friday Info: Corrine Johnson on 083 893 5155 or info@shongololoshakers.co.za or visit www.shongololoshakers.co.za

Venues Sage Cafe and Deli is tucked away within the lush surrounds of Hybrid Living Centre, and invites a warm and relaxed setting brimming with health conscious dishes that nourish and heal. Children are supervised in the Grubby Knees garden complete with a wooden fort and art activities. Where: 1 Old Fort Road, Foxhill, Umhlali North When: Monday to Sunday 08h30 – 16h00, open for dinner on Fridays Info: Janine on 032 525 8059 or sagecafe@telkomsa.net or visit www.sagecafe.co.za Spirit of Adventure offers an unforgettable outdoor experience to friends or family groups of all ages, tourists, corporate teams and school groups. Enjoy a wide range of activities from rock climbing to raft building; or simply take advantage of a relaxed day out with the family – they offer it all. Where: Shongweni Dam, Durban Info: Liz Clark on 082 736 3651 or info@spiritofadventure.co.za or visit www.spiritofadventure.co.za

The Purple Turtle Swim School specialises in Learn To Swim from the age of five months to adults, in an enclosed heated swimming pool. They offer stroke technique, stroke correction, training, and mothers and babes classes, as well as domestic worker rescue methods. Cost: R480 pm, for two classes a week Where: Upper Highway, Durban When: Monday to Saturday, all day Info: Kerry on 061 765 0011 or kerrya.purpleturtle@gmail.com To advertise here or list your events, classes, venues & restaurants please contact pippa@exposuremarketing.co.za.

PE Events The New Year’s Eve Lantern Parade is an inspiring community event run every year by the Bethesda Arts Centre. Make your own lantern at one of the workshops, then join the parade for a magical night walk through starry Nieu-Bethesda. Where: Bethesda Arts Centre, Muller Street, Nieu Bethesda When: On 31 December, assemble from 20h00 Info: 049 841 1731 Slide The City is one of the longest commercial waterslides in the world (304m) and will arrive in South Africa from the USA to delight thousands around the country as they slip and slide their way through some of our most iconic cities. Food, music and other activities will be available all alongside the waterslide. You have to be 1,2m tall to slide. No exceptions are made. Cost: R99 single slide, R250 triple slide, R490 unlimited Where: Baakens Street, Corner of Lower Valley Road and Walmer Boulevard When: 12 and 13 December 2015 Info: www.slidethecitysa.co.za

Venues Fort Frederick is a stone fort that was built in 1799, during the first British occupation of the Colony during the Napoleonic Wars, as protection against a possible landing of French troops. It is named Fort Frederick after the Duke of York. It contains a powder magazine and a blockhouse, and was originally defended by two 8-pounder guns and one 5.5 inch Howitzer. It now contains a selection of muzzle-loaders dating from the later part of the eighteenth century. Visit this popular tourist spot for a taste of local history. Cost: Free Where: Belmont Terrace, Port Elizabeth When: Open daily, from sunrise to sunset King’s Beach and Hobie Beach are popular beaches for parents with little ones, as parking is easy and close to the beach, even during peak holiday times in December and January. The sand is soft, so take along a bucket and spade, and from October the seawater is warm enough to swim in, and there are lifeguards on duty during the day. Humewood Beach is another good option for families, as there is some shade close by and a lovely large tidal pool.

Kragga Kamma Game Farm is an easy 15 to 20 minute drive from just about anywhere in PE, and provides a home to vast herds of African game, including white rhino, buffalo, cheetah, giraffe, zebra, nyala, bontebok, lechwe and many more species. You can drive your own vehicle there, go on walks, or for close encounters you can go on a guided tour. Accommodation options are also available. Cost: R65 for adults, R30 for three- to 18-year-olds, free for under three years Where: Kragga Kamma Road (M15) Info: 041 379 4195 or visit www.kraggakamma.co.za Londt Park Miniature Railway is great fun for little ones, who board the miniature train at a miniature station, before going for a two-minute ride through a tunnel, over a bridge and under bridges. There are both miniature diesel and steam trains. Where: Cnr Stella Londt and May Way, Port Elizabeth When: First Sunday of the month, from 10h00 – 13h00 Sunday’s River Ferry Cruises offer the perfect way to take in the scenery along the marine section of the Addo Elephant National Park. The upper viewing deck allows views out towards the city and Algoa Bay, while twitchers can look out for the myriad birdlife along the river banks. The 2,5-hour, 20-kilometre cruise offers both self-catering and catered trips and the captain, Les, is a bundle of fun. The parent company, Addo Cruises, also offers other activities such as sand boarding. Where: On Sundays River, 121 Aquavista Street, Cannonville/Colchester Info: 041 468 0140, email info@addocruises.co.za, or visit www.addocruises.co.za

Don’t forget Share your parenting experiences with us on Facebook or via email.

Facebook.com/MamaMagicSA milestones@mamamagic.co.za

To advertise here or list your events, classes, venues & restaurants please contact pippa@exposuremarketing.co.za.

BLOG

Two’s a Crowd!

Raising a Toddler While Pregnant

Trying to prepare for a second child while raising a toddler can be… interesting. Shanêy shares some of the challenges of dealing with her toddler while pregnant, and how she handled them. By Shanêy In December 2014 when I stopped my contraceptive pill, I was a mom to Kitana, a clingy toddler who was a fussy eater, hated sleep, and loved breastmilk. It made me nervous – was I doing the right thing? Is my toddler ready for a sibling? I have always wanted a three-year age gap between my kids, so I knew this day would come, but I still had to prepare myself. I’ve heard stories of how toddlers act out when they find out that there’s another baby arriving soon; that freaked me out! Would my daughter start rejecting me? I remember sitting on my bed and thinking, ‘How do I explain to a two-yearold that she’s going to be a big sister?’

Changing a toddler’s routine

Even though this pregnancy was planned, at that moment it felt like everything else wasn’t. I never thought about how I would explain to my toddler the changes that were about to happen, or how I planned to wean her off breastmilk. I decided that it was time Kitana went to playschool because I could see she was lonely and bored at home. The first month was difficult for me and for her (honestly sometimes more for me than her). She cried every time I dropped her off, while I sat in my car and cried too. It felt like torture, but my heart kept telling me that I was doing the right thing.

Weaning was for the best

I did not really have morning sickness, but I was always tired, and breastfeeding Kitana was draining me. I started hating it. There were days that she would come home and drink immediately, but things improved with time. I knew she had to keep attending school in order to wean her off. Everyone around me was scared because many say breastfeeding isn’t allowed during pregnancy. However, my gynae assured me it was fine. I hadn’t been in a big rush to wean Kitana off, but I knew it was the right thing to do because it was overwhelming me. My mood swings were changing and I didn’t want to be frustrated

with her because of this. Honestly, I didn’t want to be the mom walking around breastfeeding two kids, especially not a three-year-old and a newborn. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against those who do, but it’s just not for me.

Vijendranath

Toddler growing up fast

Every day I would see a change in my daughter. She was becoming this little person with a big personality. School was changing her and in the best way possible. She started interacting with kids, eating regularly (three meals a day), and learning more. She even weaned off on her own without realising it. Can you believe it? She’s also become more attached to my mom and cousin (I’m not sure if my pregnancy has anything to do with this). She’s been to my cousin’s house for two sleepovers already. And she’s finally sleeping through the night.

“I didn’t want to be breastfeeding two kids, especially not a three-year-old and a newborn.”

Good support makes all the difference

I thought this was going to be a difficult road for me, but it’s taught me that having a support group is important; things would be different if my mom and cousin were not around to help me. I’m so grateful to them for teaching me that sometimes it’s okay to ask for help. I think it’s extremely important to prepare your toddler for the new baby from day one, and to regularly explain the changes that are happening. Kitana has noticed the biggest change – my stomach. I explained to her that she has a baby brother in there and l let her speak to him, especially when he’s moving around. I’ve taken her to visit friends’ babies and in allowing her to interact with them, I could see how excited she got. I’m hoping she will remain this way when her brother arrives.

About the author Shanêy is a South African mommy blogger who loves sharing her views and favourite brands on her awardwinning blog, www.youbabyandi.com. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest under youbabyandi.

Properly preparing my toddler for her baby brother

Reading baby books with your toddler can help to introduce the new family member. So too can spending quality time with them, and taking them to doctors’ appointments to keep them involved in the new change. I decided to purchase little gifts for Kitana before the baby is born. Every day that I’m in hospital, I plan on surprising her with a gift from her sibling. I also want Kitana to be involved when her brother arrives by doing little things like passing a nappy during changing, or passing the towel during bath time. Raising two kids is going to be a handful, but I plan on enjoying every moment of it. Motherhood is love like you’ve never felt it before. It will make you emotional, but also make you realise how important it is to treasure every moment. It’s not an easy road, but the rewards are so worth it!

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SMART STATIONS TRAVEL COT

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013 kgs

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Portable Travel Bed gives baby a comfy nap spot

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