Real Friends Vs Our Social Friends By Clive Allwright

I have really struggled to be in the right head space to write this blog.

We recently lost a true pioneer of Australian Hairdressing Mr Dennis Langford CEO of Toni & Guy Australia and NZ.

Anyone who ever met Dennis will always remember the first time they met him. Dennis always made an impact, and he always left you feeling special.

I am not going to share my endless stories of our many years of friendship, but I am proud to say that from when Dennis and I first met back in Toni & Guy Mayfair in 1985, I wouldn’t have had the life I have today, if it wasn’t for meeting Dennis Langford. He was an incredible man.

I am attempting to write this blog at Wylies Ocean Pool overlooking the Pacific Ocean facing towards Dennis’s birthplace NZ.

I am also being subjected to a young couple posing for staged pictures of themselves, right in front of me. I can only assume it’s for their self-manufactured social media content, trying to highlight what amazing lives they are living. They seem oblivious to the crystal-clear ocean behind them and it’s 24 degrees in the ocean today.

Dennis didn’t like social media, he had an amazing ability to spot a bullshitter across a busy room.

Dennis always questioned everything! You couldn’t have a conversation with Den without him calling you out or questioning a statement you just made.

He was asking the “Why” long before Simon Sinek even thought of it.

It’s no secret that Dennis and I had our share of amazing adventures and lots of great times around the globe. We also sadly had our periods of anger directed towards each other from time to time.

I am very proud to say we thankfully patched up our differences many years ago, like real friends should do.

I have taken this past week to reflect upon our 39 years of friendship, I now find myself reflecting on the many other friendships I have in my life today.

Dennis and I often laughed at a Billy Connelly’s quote... Don’t seek the company of people that always know the answer. Try to seek the company of those people who are still trying to work out the question! They are so much more fun to be around!

When Dennis was in your corner you couldn’t pick a better wingman to go into battle with. When he didn’t agree with you, look out… because he would let you have it with both barrels.

That’s what good friends should really do.

You see... it’s so important to have a friend who calls you out, and you can disagree with, that’s a heathy friendship.

Be aware of the friend that always tells you you’re amazing, beautiful and talented all the time, they are only feeding and endorsing their own controlling behaviour by complementing you.

Just like the person who gives the homeless guy $50, it often gives them permission to feel good about themselves today, not because they really care if the homeless guy eats today. Some sad narcissistic people will secretly hope he gets really drunk and is left crying in a world of pain.

We are constantly surrounded by hypocrisy, it’s rife throughout politics, sport, especially in social media and even in our own homes and businesses. The older I get, the easier it is to see, so it’s easier to ignore it.

Friendships can be really tricky. Especially with people you have been friends with for a long time. We can often feel like our kindness is mistaken as a weakness on both sides. It can be so much easier to have a healthy relationship/ friendship with people you have met more recently, because is much easier to install healthy boundaries from the start.

How many people are in your life today you can honestly say are a true good friend? Sometimes we can feel like our clients are great friends and we don’t really know them.

Receiving a “Like’ or a “Love” on your social posts doesn’t necessarily mean they’re your best mate and they actually love you. Most of the time we just click like to say I am still here, and can we still be friends. If we had to pay to click like or love on our friends’ posts, how long would you ponder and ask yourself the question? How good a friend are they, and do they really warrant the two or five bucks to like it? Because it’s easier to click love than to write it or actually say it.

Dennis was that one friend you could never attempt to lie too; he would always successfully interrogate me and get to the real story.

He had this amazing ability when he looked you in the eye, his gaze never faltered. If you looked away, he knew you were bending the truth. When he asked me “why I was late? He already knew the answer, so it seemed pointless trying to lie.

Dennis didn’t warm to fake people… rough, raw and downright dirtier the better. He loved being on the farm with his 4X4 and getting muddy … But also, be prepared to get suited and booted to shine on stage with the upmost professionalism. In my opinion there was no better public speaker in the hair industry as Dennis. He shared the Toni & Guy message and stories of success with integrity and passion to inspire us all across the globe to thousands of hairdressers.

I will certainly miss our chats, laughs, and our disagreements. I feel very blessed to have had you in my life for so many years. I will cherish the many fond memories we shared together.

May you Rest in Peace my good friend, I miss you!

My sincere condolences to all the Langford family & friends during this extremely difficult time.