Once Again…Namaste-Yo! Sab ko! After the success of “Heroes in Real Harsh World” ebook, Presenting the second & final volume of stories/scenes I wrote on “Heroes in Real Harsh World!”, a funny and popular „What if‟ topic on Raj Comics Forums & Community (now defunct) where fans, writers mix Indian Comics Superheroes (mainly Raj Comics) universes and real life, breaking the formal boundries in which these heroes are restricted (Plus breaking the Fourth wall, the Fifth wall and all the walls following them). Almost all the scenes of HRHW series were posted in the 2007 to 2009. So, there are few outdated comic references, names. I thank all the RC forum members for their great response. I think this should reach to all Indian Comics Fans and that‟s why publishing this online. Hindi is typed in English as original Devnagri script is not readable in many devices, plus many people find it easier to read Hindi in sms style. I wrote about 25 HRHW type scenes/stories & there are 14 HRHWs in this volume (couple of write-ups from “Sharma ji‟s Lab”). 110 Pages of guaranteed FUN! Enjoy! *Bonus - Hilarious artworks by Mr. Bhagwant Bhalla. Special Thanks to Bhalla ji. These classic artworks also date back to 2007-2008. Cover – Mr. Vyom Dayal Aapka!
Mohit Sharma (Trendy Baba / Trendster), July 2012 © Mohit Sharma, All rights reserved. (mail - letsmohit@gmail.com)
1) - Shakti Par Bhaari Shani !!! SUBAH-SUBAH CHANDA KA SHAREER KAAMPNE LAGA AUR WO SHAKTI BAN KAR PAHUNCH GAYI BAGAL WAALE GUPTA JI KAY GHAR. GUPTA JI AUR UNKI PATNI KI LADAI CHAL RAHI THI. SHAKTI NAY AAV DEKHA NAA TAAV DIYA GHUMA KAY GUPTA JI KAY. GUPTA JI BEHOSH HO GAYE. MRS. GUPTA KO GUSSA AA GAYA. MRS. GUPTA - Ye kya kiya......Daayan....Tere baal nooch lu! GUPTA JI KI BETI - Mummy, ye aap usse bata rahi ho ya pooch rahi ho.....kheech lo iske jhutade baal. MRS. GUPTA AUR UNKI BETI SHAKTI KAY BAAL KHEECHKAR USSE PEETNEY LAGI. SHAKT I- Arre...ruko......par mai to aapko bacha rahi thi Gupta Aunty....aap mujhe hi kyu maar rahi hai. MRS. GUPTA - Abhi mere itne bure din nahi aaye hai ki mai Gupta ji se hi pit jaau......wo to mai padosiyo ko sunane kay liye aur inki aawaz dabane kay liye chilaati hu. Ye ab meri roz ki dril ban gayi hai. SHAKTI- Achcha - achcha jaa rahi hu....mere hair cilp ka kya karogi Aunty wo to lauta do. CHANDA K DIN KI BONI (SHURUAT) HI KHARAB HUI THI. PAR EKDUM TABHI USSE KAHI SE SHAKTI BANNE KI PHIR PUKAR AAYI. EK YUVATI SAMUDRA MEY DOOB RAHI THI, SHAKTI KI GATI ITNI TEZ THI KI WO SAMUDRA TAL KAY ANDAR DRILLING KARTI CHALI GAYI. JAB UPAR PAHUNCHI TAB TAK COAST GUARDS NAY USS YUVATI KO BACHA LIYA THA. SHAKTI SEY SAMUDRA KAY ANDAR KA (CRUDE OIL) GHAADA TAIL CHIPAK CHUKA THA. SHAKTI - Shabaash...aap logo nay bahut achcha kaam kiya jo iss yuvati ko bacha
liya. Coast Guard Cadet - Par tera satyanaash jaaye Kaali Maai... SHAKTI - Maine kya kiya? Coast Guard Cadet - Waha border kay uss taraf Pakistan kay samudra shetra mey tum Kacche Tail ki khoj kar aayi ho aur unhe sab readymade mil jaayega khudai bhi nahi karni padegi. SHAKTI WAHA KAISE RUKTI PAR RAASTE MEY HI USSE KAHI AUR SE KISI NARI KI PUKAAR AAYI......SEHMI HUI SHAKTI EK MANDIR MEY PAHUNCHI JAHA EK PANDIT JI APNI PATNI KO BURI TARAH DAANT RAHE THAY. SHAKTI - Aunty....ye kya ye Pandit ji aapko peeda pahuncha rahe hai?? PANDITAYIN JI - Haan......jaun rahe ki Mandir kay chadave mey se Adhai rupaiya leye rahe....e dekh lees aur daant diye rahe tabahu tum aaye gayi rahi. SHAKTI - Kya aap chahti hai ki inhe saza mile?? PANDITAAYIN JI - Jabse shaadi hui rahi tabahi se inko maarne ki sochat rahin. BHEED JAMA HO GAYI,PANDIT JI NAY MAUKE KI NAZAKAT KO SAMAJHTE HUEY DAAV BADLA. PANDIT JI - Arre..dekhyo...Laakhan....Baagha....chhapal pahin kay Mandir mey ghus aayi rahin(Chanda aaj jaldbaazi mey chhapal utarna bhul gayi thi)...aur kara-kara kuch risat hai ema se....humka to E chudail laagat hai. Maro..maro....hapak kay dei do e kay....Baal nooch lo......Panditayin tum kya tadat ho tuhau do ak ghuma kay.... SHAKTI KA AAJ DIN KHARAB CHAL RAHA THA.......AUR UDHAR AK GUPT STHAN
PAR WONDERWOMAN, PRINCIPAL KAY SAATH MILKAR SHAKTI KO NIPTANE KA PLAN BANA RAHI THI. PRICIPAL- Plan kya hai?? WONDERWOMAN - Dekho....apna takla mat khujao mai bata rahi hu bahut disturbing hai ye....Meri Gundiyo ki brigade tayar hai....Plan simple hai.....Dekhte jaao. WONDERWOMAN KAY AK ISHARE PAR USKI "GUNDI BRIGADE" KI HAZARO SADASYA AAPAS MEY LADNE LAGI AUR ITNI SAARI NARIYO KI CHEEKH PUKAR SUNKAR SHAKTI KAY BAHUT SE PARTIROOP UNHE MANAGE KARNE KAY LIYE SHAKTI SE ALAG HO GAYE. PRINCIPAL - Iss se kya hoga ?? WONDERWOMAN - Tumhe Villian banaya kisne.....takle sey haath door rakho. Dekho Shakti hazaro pratiroopo mey bant chuki hai, ab meri gundiya aapas mey ladai chhodkar Shakti kay kamzoor pratiroopo par toot padengi aur itne kamzoor roopo ko latiya ke sujha dengi. Ruko zara mai sabko ear phone par guide kar lu thodi dair. PRINCIPAL - Lekin.... WONDERWOMAN - Tumhe apna takla pyara nahi hai kya..... achcha....achcha mai pratical demonstration se samjhati hu. WONDERWOMAN - Zara...mujhe halke se maarna....mere cheekhne par Shakti ka pratiroop zaroor aayega. APNE TAKLE PAR WONDERWOMAN KI TIPPANIPYO SE NARAZ PRINCIPAL NAY BADI ZOR SE AK MUKKA MAARA WONDERWOMAN KAY SAR PAR AUR WONDERWOMAN KA WIG UTAR GAYA.
PRINCIPAL - Ooh.....to ye hai sacchai.... WONDERWOMAN – Ahem…Ispar hum baad mey baat karenge....dekho Shakti ka pratiroop aa gaya.....aaaa fhoooo!!!! SHAKTI KA PRATIROOP WONDERWONAM KI FHOONK SE HI UDD GAYA. WONDERWOMAN - DEKHA...TAKL......Ooh...Maarti raho meri Gundiyo...Baal kheench-kheench kar isse bhi Takla bana do. PRINCIPAL - Jaanti ho Wonderwoman....mai aaj tak kuvara kyu hu?? WONDERWOMAN - Kyu....ho?? PRINCIPAL - Kyoki koi Ganji mili hi nahi....aur mili bhi to mere vichaaro se uske vichaar nahi mile......I Love You...Wonderwoman. WONDERWOMAN - Ye baat to mai bhi tumse kehna chahti thi....I Love you too,Principal. SHAKTI KAY PRATIROOPO KA PITNA JAARI THA.
The End!
2) - Reforming Tiranga
TIRANGA EK PSYCHOLOGIST KAY BHEED BHARE CLINIC JAATA HAI. DOCTOR- Pehle uss Ajeeb Dress waale ko aane do wo serious case lag raha hai. TIRANGA- Hello! Doctor. DOCTOR- Haan,kya naam hai aapka?? TIRANGA- :O Doctor,aap mujhe nahi pehchante. :O :’( DOCTOR- Nahi, apni problem batao. TIRANGA- Yahi meri problem hai......koi mujhe pehchanta hi nahi hai. Gundo ko peetne lagta hu to bachche taaliya bajakar gubaare maangne lagte hai. Kal Court kay saamne se jaa raha tha to jin vakeelo kay paas kaam nahi tha unhone mujhe hi dabooch liya aur mere khilaaf jhande ka apmaan karne ka case daayar kar diya. Unn vakeelo ko publicity mil gayi aur News Channel waale abhi tak meri har angel se li gayi footage dikha rahe hai. DOCTOR - Achcha to tum struggling Character ho, Tumhari problem ka hal hai............ STYLE! TIRANGA - Style, Mai samjha nahi. DOCTOR - Dekho....Doga ko dekho....chaddi bhi pehanta hai to style mey pehanta hai.....Ghusta gutter mey hai par chalaang aisi maarta hai jaise "Sauna Bath" le raha ho. Nagraj ka Example lo shareer par chaddi kay alawa sirf hari khaal hai par chehre par koi complex dekha hai tumne uske? Aisa lagta hai sherwani pehan kar ghum raha ho. TIRANGA - To mai kis tarah se style maaru?? DOCTOR - Jaise....ammm..maan lo......tumne koi pocket maar pakda....
TIRANGA - Wahi to mai pakad pata hu. DOCTOR - Haan,to usse pakad kar aise style maaro jaise tumne duniya bacha li ho. Jhanda chumo, Dhaal ko tilt karke pakdo, nazare nashili rakho, etc, etc. Aur haan, bhaav khaana sheekho......Bheed paas aaye to door jaao, ye dikhao ki tum bahut busy ho. Chehre par calmness laao jaise Dhruv aur Parmanu kisi ladki se milte waqt laatey hai aisa lagta hai ki wo zindagi mey ab tak bas ussi ladki se mile hai. Technical words use karo......jaise “Ammoniumsulphate”, “Geothermic reactions”....kuch shabd apne mann se bana liya karo jaise “Jambodd”, “Champalik”, “Rambhool”, koi check karne nahi aayega. TIRANGA- Theek hai, Doctor, Thank you! AGLE DIN TIRANGA KO VAIJYANIKO KA AK BADA DAL DHOOND RAHA THA JISME VIDESHI VAIJYANIK BHI SHAAMIL THAY. TIRANGA KO YE KHABAR PATA CHALI AUR WO JAAN BHOOJH KAR USSI SHETRA MEY LEHRANE LAGA. USS DAL NAY TIRANGA KO PUKARA TO TIRANGA NAY BHAAV KHAANA SHURU KAR DIYA. TIRANGA - Mai bahut busy hu,actually aaj mujhe villain Super-Jindaal dwara Tectonic Plates mey kiye gaye molecular disturbance ko top soil kay pressure se dabakar crust ki taraf dhakail kar atmospheric pressure ko balance karna hai. Ek Scientist - Arre...ye to hum se bhi bada scientist nikla.....ye sunkar to mere pait mey pressure banne laga. Tiranga, Kar lo....kar lo jo karna hai...hum baad mey aa jayenge. TIRANGA NAY DOCTOR KI BAAT KO ZYADA SERIOUSLY LE LIYA THA AUR ROZ HI JAAN BHUJHKAR SCIENTISTS KAY SAAMNE JAAKAR UNKI PUKAAR TAALNE LAGA. AAKHIRKAAR SCIENTISTS NAY TIRANGA KO BEHOSHI KI DART (TRANQUILIZER SE) MAARKAR APNE SAATH LE JAANE KA PLAN BANAYA. HEAD SCIENTIST - Tiranga aa raha hai, dart maaro.
EK SCIENTIST NAY DART CHHODI JO TIRANGA KAY JAAKAR LAGI AUR TIRANGA DART LAGTE HI BEHOSH HO GAYA. HEAD SCIENTIST - Le chalo isse, humara plan safal raha......zara ruko....dart mey dawai to thi hi nahi....ye behosh kaise hua?? TIRANGA KO UNN SCIENTISTS KI LAB MEY LE JAAYA GAYA AUR USPAR PRAYOOG HONAY LAGE. SAATH HI HOSH MEY AANE PAR USS SE POOCH-TACHH BHI HONAY LAGI. VIDESHI VAIJYANIKO NAY SAWAL POOCHNE SHURU KIYE.....VAIGYANIKO KAY DARR SE TIRANGA SAB SACH-SACH BATA RAHA THA.
"Any prior training of poetry ?" TIRANGA - Khaali baitha rehta hu to sher hi dimaag me aate hai.....char laatghunso par ak sher ka average banakar rakha hua hai ab tak. "How do you use your all four limbs simultaneously especially in your ‘entry’, how do you stretch your limbs when villians are quite far from each other ? " TIRANGA - Yeh sab Dilip Chaubey ji ki galti hai.......maine kuch nahi kiya .....mai kuch nahi jaanta....mai to unse keh bhi raha tha ki agar mai ak saath 4 logo ko apne dono haatho aur dono pairo se maarunga to logo ko shak nahi hoga......unhone kaha ki koi padhega tab shak karega, tabse phir maine bhi kehna chhod diya.
HEAD SCIENTIST - Yaani humara shak sahi nikla desh ka sabse nitthala aur khaali vyakti Tiranga hi hai....isse hum apne prayoogo mey isteymaal kar sakte hai. Chalo shuru karte hai sabse purane aur paramparagat prayoog se Current lagao re isse ......katiya to maar li thi naa Hitension wire se.
TIRANGA - Ruko, mai Nagraj, Dhruv, etc.....se pooch lu, shayad koi mujhe side character rakh le. TIRANGA NAY NAGRAJ AUR LAGBHAG SABHI HEROES KO PHONE KIYA AUR SABHI KA NAGRAJ JAISA JAWAB THA. TIRANGA - Hello,Nagraj.....mai Tiranga bol raha hu,side character chahiye kya
NAGRAJ - Hello, haan ji, abhi bahut rush chal raha hai.......har jagah se maal aa raha hai.......nahi chahiye.....baad mai aana bhaiya. HEAD SCIENTIST-Haan to Bhai, chalo shuru karo.... TIRANGA- Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!
3) - KUTTA RAJ
SURAJ GUTTER MAI APNI ULTRASONIC CEETI BAJATA HAI AUR BAHUT SE KUTTEY WAHA AA JAATE HAI. Suraj - woof gurrr (Aa gaye meri kutta fauj kay sipaahiyo........mere vafadaar saathiyo.) Jackie - woof hurrr (Haan, aa gaye jamadaar kay vafadaar.) Suraj - woof purrrr (Kyu mazak karte ho....mere hathiyaar aur vardi nahi laaye??????) Jimmy - woof surrr(Kya hathiyaar aur kya vardi.....hum kya koi wholesaler hai?) Suraj - woof eurrrr(Arre kya hua tum log to mere vafadaar thay aur meri ek aawaz par aa jaate thay.) Buzo - woof durrrrr (wo to tumari ultrasonic ceeti humey itna irritate karti thi aur itni chubhti thi kaano ko ki majboor hokar aana padta tha.....ki bhai ye ceeti mat baja laa hum tera kaam kar de.......par tumne to humey for granted lay liya, arri Jimmy iske jaha-jaha goliyo kay ghaav hai waha-waha chipat jaa, baaki sab bhi sujaa do isko.) Suraj - Woof kurrrr(Par problem kya hai ?) Queen - Woof ruuuurrrr (Problem nahi problems kaho........jab tum aaye to humne socha ki humey humara neta mil gaya.....par tum to sachmuch kay neta ban gaye aur sirf apna kaam nikalvane lage. Aur hume iss ultrasonc ceeti se.......arre haa......Buzo iska mooh pay jhapata markar pehle iski ceeti nikal.......jadd se ukhaad de iske mooh se......15 saal se kaan khaa rakhe hai.) Suraj - Woof wurrrrrrr(nahi........Ruko ma khud hi nikal deta hu.) Queen - Woof qurrrrrrr(Haa to mai kya keh rahi thi......problems ginva rahi thi
naa.......Gutter mai reh-reh tumhari dress par ucch quality ki gandagi ki anginat partey jam chuki hai....par majaal hai ki 15 saal mai kabhi dress dhooyi ho.....hum kuttey zaroor hai par itni gandagi to hum log bhi sehan nahi ka sakte. Aur sabko dikhate ho ki tum goliyon se apni furti kay kaaran bach jaate to par sach to ye hai ki iss sever ki gandgi ki parto ko paar karne laayak goli iss duniya mai hi nahi bani hogi. Roz raat ko yaha inke hathiyaar laane mai ek-do kuttey to gutter mai hi beh jaate hai.Kal "Zulu" naam ka humara saathi mooh mai grenades bharkar laa raha tha usse cheenk aa gayi pins to uske mooh mai hi reh gayi aur genades uske saath daud rahe kutto par phat gaye. Tumare hathiyaaro ko saalo tak sunghne aur mooh mai rakhne se kal hum sab kay medical checkup mai breathing diseases trace hui aur kuch ko to lung cancer bhi hai. Tum "Canine Rights" kay sabse bade violator ho. Itni mehnat kartey hai hum sab tumhare liye aur aaj tak dhang se ak time ka khana bhi nahi khilaya aur khud tumhe "Manu ji" itna khilate hai ki jagah-jagah se khana nikalta rehta hai,Unse bhi hum log hisaab barabar karenge.) Suraj-Woof Ourrrrr(Par mai tumara pratinidhi hu.) Buzo-Woof zurrrrrrrr(Pratnidhi.........Mumbai kay apradhi jo tumhe nahi maar paate humey pakad kar apni bhadaas nikalte hai. Dekho hum sabko sujey huey hai kai dino se."KUTTATVA" AUR "KUTTAPAN" ko tumne kabhi samjha hi nahi. Arre sab hapak kay kaato koi hissa bacchne naa paaye.........sabke hisse kay alag - alag 14 injection lagne chahiye.......28 lagvane waale ko Bonus milega. Suraj - Bhow-bhow (Nahi chhod do mujhey, jaane do.....mai tum logo par haath nahi uttha sakta.) Buzo -Do daant kya gadaye, kutto ki protocol hi bhul gaye....."WOOF MODE" se "BHOW MODE" mai aa gaye...........tumhe khud ko kutta kehne ka koi haq nahi hai.Itne kutto se ghirey hue ho to haath kaise utthaoge,abhi to hum tumhe adhmara karke tumpar apni laat utthayenge aur laat utthakar hum log kya karte hai ye to tum jaantey hi hoge. The End!
4) - GALTI KISKI ??? RAJNAGAR KI SADKO PAR DHRUV KI MOTORCYCLE TEZ RAFTAAR PAR DAUD RAHI THI KI TABHI ACHANAK SAAMNE SE AARAHI EK AUR MOTORCYCLE SE DHRUV KI BIKE TAKRA GAYI. DHRUV - Dekh kar nahi chala sakte......ooh Ins. Steel tum. INS. STEEL – Sorry! Dhruv galti meri thi..... DHRUV - (Formality nibhatey hue) Arre nahi-nahi galti to meri thi.....mai hi dhyaan se nahi chala raha tha. INS. STEEL - Mujhe maaf..... DHRUV - Kaisi baatey kar rahe ho...Maine kaha naa galti meri hi hai....mera dhyaan bhatak gaya tha. INS. STEEL - Haan,ab tum maan hi rahe ho ki galti tumhari hai to tumhaa chalaan katega. DHRUV - Arre lekin......chalaan. INS. STEEL - Rs. 150 Chalaan aur Rs.2000 meri bike ko hua nuksaan, ye lo receipt. DHRUV – Huh! Ye sab policewaale ak jaise hotay hai.......ye lo. KUCH DINO BAAD, DHRUV PHIR TEZ RAFTAAR PAR BIKE CHALA RAHA THA AUR USNE AK CAR KO PEECHEY SE TAKKAR MAAR DI. DHRUV - Ooh...no....Galti meri thi.
INS. STEEL CAR SE BAHAR NIKALTA HAI. INS. STEEL - Tumne kuch kaha, Dhruv?? DHRUV – Ooh! Steel ka bachcha....mai keh raha tha ki galti tumhari thi. INS. STEEL - Meri car mai cameras lage hai.....tum jhoot bol rahe ho..... WAHAN BHEED IKKHATI HO GAYI, INS. STEEL BHEED KO SUNANEY KAY LIYE AUR TEZ CHILAANE LAGA. INS. STEEL -....aur tum ak zimmedaar nagrik ho...aur tumhe dekhkar chalani chahiye......aur....aur.... DHRUV BHEED KO DEKHKAR NERVOUS HO GAYA. DHRUV - Accha-accha Kitney ka nuksaan hua hai. INS. STEEL - 5000 Ka bas..... DHRUV - Keede pade tere.....ye le. INS. STEEL - ...Chalaan alag se….he he… KUCH DINO BAAD DHRUV APNE BETE RISHI KAY SAATH APNE SPECIAL HELICOPTER, "STARCOPTER" MAI JAA RAHA THA. DHRUV - Beta thode sincere bano apne papa ki tarah, tumhare exams hai, revision jaldi kar liya karo....dekho itni dair ho gayi ki tumhe Starcopter se school chhodne jaana pad raha hai. Aage se mai ye bilkul bhi tolerate nahi karunga. RISHI - Papa.....please....give me a break....zyada nakhre mat dikhaiye.....Nana
kay helicopters har waqt tayaar rehte hai. TABHI AK AAWAZ HUI........... "GARAD....BHARANT......TRERSFARDDDD" DHRUV - Ooh lagta hai humara starcopter kisi helicopter se takra gaya hai. INS. STEEL TABHI UNKE HELICOPTER MAI KUDA.
DHRUV - TUM YAHA KAISE......... INS. STEEL - Mere hi Special Helicopter se tumhara Starcopter takraya....sorry! galti meri thi....mera helicopter to crash ho gaya par mai tumhare helicopter mai koodne mai safal raha. DHRUV - Ek...minute....Commando Kareem......Starcopter ki baatey record karte rehna mai iss baar ek helicopter ko crash kane ka harzana nahi de paunga. Iska tramsmission kisi regional television par bhi kar dena sabko pata chalna chahiye ki galti meri nahi thi. DHRUV - Ooh no Kareem, Autopilot kharab ho gaya hai, mummy....darr lag rahi hai. KAREEM - Captain,to aap khud chala lijiye. DHRUV - Mujhe.....chalana kaha aata hai....wo to mai chalane ka natak karta tha, sabpar style maarne kay liye. RISHI - Papa, shame-shame!! INS. STEEL - Dhruv, shame-shame!!
KAREEM – Hello! Captain, kya tum mujhe sun rahe ho?? DHRUV-Haan, Kareem, Bolo. KAREEM - Shame-shame! DHRUV - Aur koi chautha hai to wo bhi bol le. KAREEM - Captain....starcopter wasie bhi kuch hi dair mai crash ho jaayega. RISHI - Papa....mujhe..koodna hai....parachute dijiye....MERA SCHOOL AA GAYA. DHRUV - Bilkul apni Mummy par gaya hai. Ye le parachute kood jaa. RISHI - Papa...magar...... DHRUV - Mujhe kuch nahi sunna....door ho jaa meri nazaro se.....tu fail ho jaaye. INS. STEEL - Tum kyu nai kood rahe,Dhruv. Dhruv - Mujhe su-su lagi hai,neeche jaakar behosh ho gaya to...........yahi starcopter mai kar leta hu. INS. STEEL BHI PARACHUTE LEKAR KUDD GAYE............EK INSAAN KAY LIYE BANE PARACHUTE PAR 450 KGS KA WEIGHT PADNE SE PARACHUTE PHAT GAYA AUR INS. STEEL RISHI KAY SCHOOL KI BUILDING PAR JAKAR DWAST HO GAYE AUR PHIR BUILDING KA DWAST HONA TO LAZMI THA HI. RISHI - Yahooooo.....Thankyou Steel Uncle.......Exam cancel. DHRUV BHI PARACUTE LEKAR KOOD GAYE AUR KUCH GHANTO BAAD DHRUV KO HOSPITAL MEY HOSH AAYA.
DHRUV - Mai kahan hu? DOCTOR - Ooho, ginti bhulva di ab phir se ginna padega ki tumhari kitni haadiya tuti hai. RISHI - Papa, ab kaisa lag raha hai? DHRUV - Beta,ye parachute hi kharaab thay......Steel bhi kuddte hi neeche chala gaya aur mera parachute to khula hi nahi. RISHI - Papa.....wahi to koodne se pehle mai aapko samjha raha tha.....mera School bag wahi chhut gaya tha....aur aap mera school bag pehan kar kood gaye thay. INS. STEEL-Hello! Dhruv.
DHRUV - He.....llo.........tum itne chhotey kaise ho gaye INS. STEEL - Ye to Anees nay mera temporary intezaam kiya hai ab wo harzaane ki 5 crore ki rakam se hi mujhe poora karega. DHRUV - Arre wah......kaun de raha hai harzaana. INS. STEEL – Tum!! DHRUV-Mai....par meri galti...nahi thi..... INS. STEEL - Tumhari saari baatey regional channel aur phir national channel par bhi telecast hui hai....tumhe helicopter chalana nahi aata phir bhi tum chala rahe thay.
DHRUV - Aaj se mai paidal crime-fighting karunga. ď Œ
5) - PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Brahmand Rakshak (P.O.E.M.) Ek saath aaj bahut din baad mile thay. Dhruv - Dosto aaj humne ak pocket maar ko pakadkar iss desh ki raksha ki hai. Doga - Aaj iss khushi kay mauke par party honi chaiye. Parmanu - Sach mai uss chor ko pakadna bahut mushkil tha hum logo kay liye. Kobi- Koi party ki baat kar raha tha....shayad.
Nagraj - Wo chor bahut shatir lag raha tha. Kobi - Kya mere kaano ne party suna ?? Shakti - Wo nari jaati kay purses par khaas nazar rakhta tha. Kobi - P For Party. Dhruv - Mai shart laga kar keh sakta hu ki uske paas jo ghatak hathiyaar tha uska naam "Blade" tha.........wo ussi se pocket maara karta tha. Kobi – Partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! Sabhi heroes aur Shakti Treat kay bahane khana khaane Restaurant mai jaate hai, Kobi - Arre suno sabhi...nahi Tiranga tum nahi...bahar koi tumhe bula raha hai jakar dekh lo.....shayad koi tumhara autograph lena chahta ho. Tiranga - :D :D M...mm......Mera pehla autograph.. ....nahi matlab mera karoodva autograph.....mai abhi aata hu dosto. Kobi - Sab dhyaan se suno Tiranga jaldi laut aayega........Khusar pusar. SAB SUNNE KAY BAAD, Anthony - Wah Kobi kya idea socha hai. LANGAR mey gaye kuch FAKE fakeero ki tarah Khana khane kay baad. Parmanu - Bill mai deta hu. Nagraj - Nahi, Bill mai deta hu.
Kobi - Ye, Bill to mujhe dena chahiye. Anthony - Chal aa prince......Bill hum denge. Shakti - Nirbhay raho.......Bill mai dungi. Doga - OOOMMM AAARRH...Hai bhole baba teri lela hai......Bill mujhe dena hai. Ins.Steel - Freeze......sab apni jagah par ruk jao Bill mai dunga. Dhruv - Shart lagane ki baat hi nahi hai bill to mujhe dena hai. Aghori - ..................Hill..........ai........unnga. Nagraj - Poore bane ho nahi aa gaye.........Bill dene. Doga - Bechara dhang se bol bhi nahi paa raha.....aye bhai isse koi leke jao. SAB TIRANGA KI TARAF DEKHNE LAGTE HAI.......WO BHI SABHI KI TARAH KEHTA HAI. Tiranga-ammmmm haan bill mai de deta hu. Parmanu - Ok, Tum bill de do....as you wish. Kobi - Ok,agli party mujh par rahi. Nagraj - Theek hai......jaisa tum chaho. Anthony - Ruk jaa Prince.....Bill Tiranga dega. Shakti - Tiranga ka kaha mai kaise taal sakti hu.
Ins. Steel - OK....par khabardaar......waiter ko tip mai hi dunga. Doga - Jaisi us Maalik ki iccha........tum do mai du sab maaya hai. Aghori - Thee....ai...ill...um do.......nanga.
Tiranga- :O :O :O *SHOCKED* Accha mai hi bill de deta hu. ď Œ Kobi - Aur suno Tiranga, iss Aghori ko sanjay ji kay paas chhod aana, unse kehna ki issey poora banakar hi khula chhode.........ghor Kalyug hai, log kehte kuch hai karte kuch hai‌.. The End!
6) - BUDHIMAAN KOBI
PART ONE JANE - OOOFFHO,Kobi jao tumhara kuch nahi ho sakta. "Kya hua Jane,tum itni pareshaan kyu ho?� JANE - Kya batau Fujo baba,ak mahiney se Kobi ko abcd......padha rahi hu, abhi tak bas "A" for Apple seekh paaya hai. BHERIYA - Wah, kya average hai, (1 alphabet/month). FUJO BABA - Issey dusarey tarekey se samjhao iski aas paas ki cheezo ka udahran dekar,dekho mai samjhata hu.
Kobi tumhey sabsey zyada pyaar kis cheez sey hai? KOBI - He..he....ammm mujhey sharam aati hai. FUJO BABA - Kobi, koi kuch nahi kahega, batao. KOBI - Mujhey naa mujhey naa Jane pasand hai, dekho Fujo baba ye Bheriya mujhey ghoor raha hai. x( FUJO BABA - To bolo "J" for Jane. KOBI - "J" for Jane. JANE - Arrey wah,itni jaldi ak alphabet yaad ho gaya, mai nahi maanti, Kobi phir se batao "J" for kya hota hai KOBI - "J" for Jane.
JANE - Aur "A" for kya hota hai?? KOBI -"A" for Jane. JANE - Bedagark....jao Kobi mai tumsey baat nahi karti tumsey accha to Bheriya hai. To be Continued‌ SECOND PART (BUDHIMAAN KOBI) JANE - Kobi mujhey gussa mat dilao, varna mai tumhey chodd kar chali jaungi. FUJO BABA - Kobi aaram se batao.....koi jaldi nahi hai. KOBI - Haan mai soch raha hu.....ammmmmmmmm haan yaad aaya....... "J" for Apple....ab mai issey zyada nahi soch sakta. JANE - Kobi tum duniya kay sabse kam akal waaley prani ho. Kal yahan sab kabilo ka mela hai, waha sabsey acchi poshaak pehanney waaley ko "Sabsey Budhimaan" jungle-waasi ki upadhi milegi. Sabsey achchi poshaak ka chayaan uskey aas-paas lagi jungle-waasiyo ki bheed dekhkar lagega. Dekho mai tumharey aur Bheriya kay liye shehar se "Sherwaani" laayi hu, kal tum dono wahi pehan kar uss meley mai jaogey. KOBI - Tumney mujhey kam akal ka kaha, jao mai nahi pehnuga tumhari Sherwaani, uss Bheriya se keh dena ki meri bhi sherwaani pehan le "Babbarsherwaani" ban jayegi. JANE - Lekin kal tum kya pehanogey ? KOBI - Mai jhaad-pattey lapet kar jaunga, tumsey matlab ? Jao jakar apney Bheriya ko sajao, huh!
AGLEY DIN EK STHAAN PAR BAHUT BHEED LAGI HUI THI, SABHI JUNGLEWAASI WAHIN DEKH RAHEY THAY. JANE - Arrey hum log to abhi aaye hai, ye sabhi kabiley waaley waha kyu dekh rahey hai, kaun hai waha par?? BHERIYA - Aur kaun Kobi hai waha par, dekho wo lambi poonch usney hum logo ko chidaaney kay liye hi uttha rakhi hai. Par usney aisa kya pehan liya? JANE - Abhi stage par aayega tab dekhtey hai. KOBI KO MANCH PAR LAAYA GAYA AUR SAB ACHAMBHIT HO GAYE. KOBI NAY "TORN AND FADED" JEANS,"TIGHT" T-SHIRT, BRACELET, METALLIC CHAINS, GOGLES LAGA RAKHEY THAY . AUR AK "DIWAAR GHADI" AAPNEY MAATHEY PAR BAANDH RAKHI THI. UDGHOSHAK - AB ISS JAANSAMUH MAI SABSEY BUDHIMAAN PRANI KOBI HUMEY APNI POSHAAK KAY BAAREY MAI BATAYEGEY. KOBI - MERI SAFALTA KA KUCH SHREY FUJOBABA KO BHI JAATA HAI. MUJHEY YE POSHAAK FUJO BABA KAY SANDOOK SE MILI. WO BUDDHEY ZAROOR HAI PAR "YO-MAN" SANSKRITI KAY ANUYAYI HAI.
JANE - Fujo baba aap aisi dress :O :O kyu??? FUJO BABA-Ab mai bhi to insaan hu, meri bhi kuch feelings hai. BHERIYA - Aisi bhavnaye??? KOBI - SABHI MUJHSEY POOCH RAHEY HAI KI MAINEY DEEWAR GHADI KYU PEHNI HAI AAPNEY MAATHEY PAR. ISS JUNGLE MAI KAI LOG PADHEY LIKHEY HAI AUR KAI LOG ANPADH. AB MERE JAISEY ANPADH LOGO KO TIME POOCHEY
MAI DIKKAT HOTI THI. ISLIYE MAINEY APNEY SIR PAR YE GHADI BAANDH LI. AB HUM ANPADH LOG KISI SE BHI TIME POOCH SAKTEY HAI. UDGHOSHAK - Wah kya vichaar hai, aapney to kranti ki shuru aat kar di kobi ji. Jungliyo yahi hai iss jungle kay sabsey budhimaan prani. The End!
7) - STORY OF FAILURES DHRUV AND NATASHA ARE GIVING THEIR HIGHSCHOOL EXAM SIXTH TIME THIS YEAR. 5 YEARS AGO DHRUV CHEATED NATASHA, NATASHA FAILED ! 4 YEARS AGO NATASHA CHEATED DHRUV, DHRUV FAILED ! 3 YEARS AGO BOTH CHEATED EACH OTHER, BOTH FAILED! 2 YEARS AGO BOTH OF THEM WERE FAILED ! (THEIR COPIES WERE CHECKED BY DR.VIRUS) 1 YEAR AGO -
BOTH WERE ABSENT DUE TO DEPRESSION. THIS YEAR COMMISSIONER RAJAN - DHRUV AUR NATASHA MERE RUTBAY AUR ANUPAM SINHA NAAM KE PRINCIPAL KI WAJAH SE TUMHARI UMAR 5 SAALO SE SCHOOL KAY RECORDS MAI NAHI BADHI HAI. LEKIN ISS BAAR TUM DONO KO PASS HONA PADEGA. DHRUV KI MUMMY - BETA, ISS BAAR PASS HO JAANA NAHI TO MERA "BY-PAAS" HO JAYEGA. DHRUV - PAPA, MUMMY CHINTA MAT KIJIYE ISS BAAR PURA INTEZAAM HAI. NATASHA - SACCHI........MUJHEY DARR LAG RAHA HAI. DHRUV - HAAN,CHINTA MAT KARO ISS BAAR HUM PASS HONGEY,DARNEY KI TO KOI BAAT HI NAHI HAI. EXAMINATION HALL MEY PAPER SHURU HONAY KAY 2 MINUTES BAAD EK AWAAZ GUNJI, "HELLO…..CAPTAIN.....CAPTAIN MAI KAREEM BOL RAHA HU...QUESTION NO.3 KA ANSWER "ALL OF THE ABOVE HAI", CAPTAIN KYA MERI AWAAZ AA RAHI HAI. EXAMINER - HELLO, BETA KAREEM DHRUV KO HI NAHI HUM SABHI KO TUMHARI AWAAZ AA RAHI HAI KYOKI USKEY TRANSMETER KA SPEAKER ON REH GAYA HAI...EXAMS MEY GALTIYAAN KARNE KI AADTA HO GAYI HAI BECHARE KO. ACHCHA DHRUV AB AGLEY SAAL AANA AB JAO, SHABAASH....SHANDAAR PRAYAAS KIYA. KAREEM KHALA KO SALAAM KEHNA. DHRUV JAANEY LAGA AUR NATASHA BHI JAANEY LAGI, EXAMINER-NATASHA BETI, TUM KYU JAA RAHI HO??
NATASHA - YAHAN KA "INTEZAAM" TO GAYA, MOVIE DEKHKAR MOOD HALKA KAR LUNGI. The End!
8) - Rishvat RAJNAGAR KAY AK SUNSAAN ILAKEY MEY "TUM SAHI KEH RAHEY HO BABBAN, AGAR GALAT HUEY TO BAHUT MARUNGA TUMHEY." BABBAN – HAAN! DHRUV MAI SAHI KEH RAHA HU,AAJ MERE BHESH MAI TUM CHALEY JAO, LO YEH CHADAR OOD LO, WO DHYAAN NAHI DEGA, CODE WORD BHI SUNTEY JAO. THODI DAIR BAAD USSI STHAN PAR "MAAL LAYE HO ???" DHRUV-AUR KYA YAHA PAR CHUPPAN CHUPAI KHELNEY AAYA HU??? "CODE WORD TO BOLO." "INS. STEEL MUJHEY GIRAFTAAR MAT KARNA!" INS. STEEL - BILKUL SAHI, LAO MAAL NIKALO. DHRUV - INS. STEEL TUM................:O :O *SHOCK*....................
..............OOO MY GOD, TUM FARZ KI MACHINE RISHVAT LETE HO. MUJHEY TO VISHWAAS NAHI HOTA.
INS. STEEL - HAAN TO KYA HUA, AAJ KAL SAB LETE HAI, THODA BAHUT IDHAAR UDHAAR TO CHALTA HAI. AUR ANEES NEY BHI TO MUJHEY ISLIYE ZINDA KIYA THA. AA JAATEY HAI.........HUH....... SAARA MOOD KHARAAB KAR DIYA.
"AREEY INSPECTOR ITNI DAIR KYU LAG RAHI HAI....... KYA HUA.........NEWS CHANNEL WAALEY AA GAYE KYA??? STING OPERATION TO NAHI HO RAHA."
INS. STEEL - BOSS AAP BHAGIYE, DHRUV HAI YAHAN PAR.
"KYA...... OO NO............KAISEY BHAGU, BINA MAAL LIYE GHAR JAANEY KA MANN NAHI KAR RAHA."
DHRUV - RUK JAO, APNI SHAKAL DIKHO,YANI INS. STEEL AKELA NAHI HAI, KAUN HO SAKTA HAI INS. STEEL KA BOSS ?
INS. STEEL - AREEY JAANEY DE NA DHRUV, YE TO HUMARA ROZ KA KAAM HAI.........AUR AGAR USNEY CHEHRA DIKHAYA TO TU HI SHARMINDA HOGA.........CHAL AB GHAR JAA. DHRUV- NAHI........MAI USKA CHEHRA DEKHKAR RAHUNGA. "LE DEKH LEY.........MIL GAYA KADDU......AA GAYA MAZAA. CHEHRA
DEKHENGEY." DHRUV- PAPA AAP BHI :O :O OOO MY GOD!!! :O COMMISSIONER RAJAN - ARREY KYA AAP BHI.......KAL MERI AUR TERI MUMMY KI ANNIVERSARI HAI, DIAMOND MAANG RAHI HAI.......... BUDHIYA HO GAYI PAR FARMAISHEY NAHI GAYI,UPAR SEY WO SHWETA, "PAPA PAPA.....KAL MULTIPLEX MAI PICTURE DEKHNI HAI,MAI KYA KARTA." DHRUV - PAPA LEKIN.....MAI TO AISA NAHI......
COMMISSIONER RAJAN - ARREY KYA LEKIN, ITNA BADA GHAR SAMBHALNA HAI TO UPAR SEY TO KUCH LENA HI PADEGA. TU KHUD TO CRIME FIGHTING KA KUCH LETA NAHI. PAR HAR DUSAREY DIN BIKE TUDVA LETA HAI,UPAR SEY ROZ GHUMTA HAI SAARA DIN PETROL KAHA SEY LAU TERE LIYE, AUR NYLO-STEEL KI ROPE BHI CHAHIYE BHAISAHAB KO, UTILITY BELT MAI ACID BHARWAO,TUJHEY INTER BHI MAINEY PAISEY DEKAR PASS KARWAYA HAI.WARNA TU TO BAS....CHEMISTRY KA TEACHER BATA RAHA THA SIRF "NITROGLYCERINE" KA FORMULA HI AATA THA TUJHEY PAPER MAI. INS. STEEL - BAS KYA UNCLE, CHHODIYE NA BACCHA HAI, CHAL RE DHRUV SORRY MAANG PAPA SEY. DHRUV - SORRY PAPA.
COMMISSIONER RAJAN - ITS OK, AB TUM BHI SHURU KARO ZARA, DEKHO INS. STEEL ITNEY SAALO SEY LAAGA HAI ISS KAAM MAI KISI KO SHAK NAHI HUA. THE END!
9) - Curve Specialist (A Tribute to Adil ji and His ‘Sexy’ THS Art :P) Delhi mey Raj Comics kay shaandaar artist Adil Khan ji kay ghar kay bahar kai striyon ki behas kay swar tez hotay jaa rahe thay. "Pehle mai...." "Chup kar karamjali, pehle mai jaaungi." "Natasha..... Samjhao isse aise Nagdando kay mai apne baalo mey clip lagati hun." "Achcha aaj tu mujhe Nagdand se baalo mey clip laga kay dikha......nahi aaj mujhe dekhna hai......" "Dekho mere baal chhod do..... aaj hi straighten karaye hai." Tabhi ek dhamaka hota hai.
Badaaam !!!!
"Sheena, cheating mat karo.....haatho se lado. Tumhare dhamake ki wajah se sabka make up jhhad gaya." "Meethi Katthi chahe sab chale jaayein par iss 'Jhhabri Pilli' ko andar mat jaane dena." "Mai Black Cat hun, kalmuhi." Dhamake aur behas ki aawazon se Adil ji kay mohalle waalo mey halla mach gaya. Saath hi unka saara ghar bhi bahar aa gaya tha.
Unke ghar kay bahar Visarpi, Natasha, Black Cat, Sheena, Monika, Salma, Venu, Maria, Shewta, Maansi, Katthi, Meethi, Jane, etc, kai female side characters aapas mey jhagad rahi thi. Adil bhai - Bhoot....bhoot....bachaaoooo. Natasha - Chee chee......dekho sharm nahi aati hai.....arre sharm karo Adil.....itni T.H.S. banakar bhi himmat nahi aayi......No Thrill, No Horror, No Suspense. Adil bhai - Arre, Aap sab deviyan yahan. Kahiye mai aapki kya madad kar sakta hun ? Sheena - Mai chahti hun ki aap meri series yaani Parmanu series ka artwork apne haatho mey le lein. Visarpi - Chup kar, apne level kay hisaab se bol......Adil ji, aap meri series sambhaliye. Baaki sabhi upasthit mahila kirdaaro nay bhi Adil bhai se apni-apni series ki penciling karne ki request ki. Adil bhai - Par aap sabko yahan kisne bheja ? Sabhi eksaath boli. "Mai Bhi, ne." Adil bhai - Mai bhi....ye kaun hai.....mai kuch samjha nahi. Monika - Jab se hum sabne aapki banayi "Mai bhi" ki art dekhi hai tabse hum sabhi aapki fans ban gayi hai....aap mahaan hai. Koi mujh par waise to dhyaan deta nahi upar se forums par mujhe maarne ki baatein chalti rehti hai isliye ab aap hi mujhe bacha sakte hai. Par itni saari series ko mai eksaath kaise sambhal sakta hun ? Tabhi 2 nayi aawazon nay eksaath sabka dhyaan kheencha.
"Arre, Adil, humey banaya karo koi humpar bhi dhyaan nahi deta hai." Adil bhai - Ab ye kaun hai ? Bheed mey koi apna dard rook nahi paaya. "Satyanash......ye Ratalu aur Rani Swarnalata hai. Inhi ki kami reh gayi thi. " The End!
10) - What if "they" were not Crime Fighters...... Agar apne favorite superheroes....crime fighting naa karte to wo shayad apne features ko suit karte aise businesses ya services mey lage hotay.
*) - Fighter Toads - Pest Control *) - Doga - Sanitary ware Business. *) - Gamraj - Yamunda all purpose transport service, Kurla based N.G.O. *) - Tiranga - Ready Muscle Maker Salesman, Shayari Pocket Books ka elite writer. *) - Anthony - Crow Alarm Clocks, Convenient Re-Breakable Cement. *) - Aswraj - Kapila Pashu Ahaar. *) - Kobi - Play School coordinator, Ambassador of Maneka Gandhi's Animal Rights Campaign. *) - Dhruva - Dimaagi Tonic, churan. *) - Vakra - Match fixing, betting, sports good dealer. *) - Blind Death - Braille Scripts writer, senior citizens ko zabardasti raasta paar karva kar style maarne waala. *) - Yoddha - Translator (All languages to Shudh Hindi)
*) - Shaktimaan - Moral Science Teacher...."Sorry Shaktimaan". *) - Bankey Lal - Member of Planning Commission of India. *) - Shakti - Mahila Aayog Activist. *) - Tilismdev - Character Actor Playing "Dada-Nana" roles in Bhojpuri films.
11) - Scene Mixture
Bas itna sochiye ki alag-alag characters ki comics ka kaam mix ho gaya hai. Kirdaaro kay dialogues super-random tareeke se doosri series kay kirdaaro se mix ho gaye hai aur unka final result kuch yun hoga.......... Sillu - Ab fancy dress competition mey next kaun aayega... Tiranga - Jab farr-farr fehrayega Tiranga labada....jab chakar-chakar lehrayegi Tirangi dhaal....tab aayega Tiranga. Maria - King, Doodh piyo. Doga - Ye kaam sirf Doga jaisa mard kar sakta hai. Probot - Kya tum mujhe sun rahe ho, Parmanu. Kaal Paheliya - Kutta, Kutta, Kutta.... Parmanu - ...Haan, Dhanyavaad, mai tumhari baat samajh gaya. Gamraj - Eve teasing yaani ladkiyon ko pareshaan karna buri aadat hai. Allrounder Vakra - ....Par ye to mera favorite game hai. Principal - Mujhe lagta hai ki Duniya ka sabse bada kamina hai..... Kobi - Budha-Tudha Fujo. Bauna Vaman - Vaman hamesha ek naa ek trick bacha kar rakhta hai. Shankalu - Issi baat par mujhe shanka hai. Tantana - Savdhaan Kobi, mai tere tukde-tukde kar dunga. Jane - Par mujhe to Kobi aur Bheriya ek roop mey chahiye. Visarpi - Kya Nagraj kabhi mera nahi ho sakta....to fir mera saath kaun dega? Inspector Steel - Mai Aapke liye, aapke saath...seva mey sadeiv tatpar...
…and Upadhi Mixture Wonderman Shankalu,
Raat ka Rakshak Rangeela, Daitya Putra Vikram Singh, Farz ki Machine Shipra, Deshbhakt..Detective Kaaldoot, Tragedy King Tiranga, Jungle ka Jallad C.N.N., Tantra aur Talwar ka dhani Fujo Baba, Nari Shakti ki aawaz Tauki ji, Allrounder Fhuchang. Aur haan, Adrak Chacha aur unke 3 bhaiyon Haldi Chacha, Dhaniya Chacha, Kali Mirch Chacha, se milne unke kuch cousins aaye hai....... Pudina Chacha, Dry Fruits Chacha, Maggi Tastemaker Masala Chacha, Soya Sauce Chacha, Elaichi Chacha,
Tulsi ki patti Chacha, Artificial Colors Chacha, Added Flavors Chacha, Corn Flakes Chacha, Methi Chacha. Kuch rishteydaar reh gaye lagte hai....unke naam aap log likh dijiye.
12)*A tribute to Mandaar Bhai and Shadab Bhai & Jim Ross. Unki taang kheenchi thi naam badal kar. औ औ "
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13) – Bacha Lo!
Raj Comics ki badhti safalta ko dekhkar Raj Comics Management nay Bollywood mey apne sabhi main characters ko saath lekar ek film banane ki yojna banayi. Bollywood mey apne iss prayog kay safal honay kay baad Raj Comics Management (RC Management) kay log aage doosri bhashao aur Hollywood mey bhi apne Super Heroes ko lekar films banane ki soch rahe thay. Lekin aage kay sabhi plans iss film ki safalta par tikey thay. Ye film ek multi star project isliye thi kyoki RC Management apne sabhi mukhya kirdaaro kay fans ko khush karna chahti thi aur comics naa padhne waale logo ko apne characters kay universe ki variety dikhana chahti thi. Lekin saalo ki mehnat safalta ka mol RC ko chukana pada kyoki iss beech bahut se kirdaaro ki comics publish hona bandh ho chuki thi jo lambe samay se berozgaar baithey thay. Iss kaaran wo apni rozi roti kamane kay liye alag alag
kaam chunkar RC se door jaa chuke thay aur desh bhar mey unhe dhoondhna bahut mushkil kaam tha. Upar se jo characters bahut zyada popular ho gaye thay unke nakhre aur foreign projects, advertisements, contracts, etc, bhi badh gaye thay jiss kaaran wo jaanboojhkar RC ko apna samay nahi de rahe thay. Saaf tha ki iss film ki shooting to baad ki baat thi pehle iske kirdaaro ki casting mey bahut dikkat aane waali hai. To shuru karte hai ye "Multimazaa" dhamaka............"Bacha Lo!"
Casting : Tiranga and Shakti (Part - 1)
Apne zyadatar Superheroes se sampark naa ho paane kay kaaran Sanjay ji pareshaan thay ki shuruat kahan se ki jaaye. Tabhi unhe khabar mili. "Sanjay ji, suna hai ki koi Tiranga baba apne Jagrata band kay saath jagah jagah ghoom kar jagratey kar raha hai aur uske gaane se saakshat Devi Maiyaa prakat ho jaati hai. Mujhe lagta hai ki wo Tiranga Baba hi apna purana hero Tiranga hai. Shayad humey dropped characters mey se ek mil gaya jiski casting apni film mey karni thi." Sanjay Gupta - Ek nahi do......kyoki mujhe ye Devi Maiyaa bhi jaani pehchani si lag rahi hai. Iss waqt ye band kahan hai ? "Haryana kay kisi gaon mey hoga, aajkal navratre chal rahe hai isliye ye band 1 raat mey 2-3 gaon cover kar raha hai. Humey jald hi wahan pahunchna hoga kahin ye log kisi doosri state mey naa chale jaayein." Sanjay ji ka sandeh bilkul sahi tha kyoki Tiranga kay saath Shakti bhi thi. Haryana ka 'Tunda gaon' jahan har jagah charcha thi 'Jai Bharat Jagrata Band' ki kyoki aaj raat uss gaon mey iss band dwara Jagrata honay waala tha. Aajkal ye Jagrata Band Uttar Bharatiye Rajyo kay gaonwo aur kasbo mey ghoom ghoom kar jagratey karta tha. Iss band kay mukhya
aakarshan thay Tiranga Baba. Maanyta thi ki keval unhi kay gaayan se saakshat Devi Maa prakat ho jaati thi. Lekin aaj Tiranga Baba nay emergency meeting bulayi thi aur unka gussa saatve aasmaan par tha. Tiranga Baba - Pehli baar.....pehli baar aisi silly mistakes ki hai humari jagrata team nay peechli raat 'Rahpat gaon' mey. Wo to shukr hai ki zyadatar gaon waale neend mey thay warna hum sabke dhar kay rahpat bajte. What a bunch of unprofessionals....huh!! Jagrata mandali ki makeup aur dresses ka kaam dekhne waala Chindi kahan bhaag gaya. Chindi - Mai to aapke saamne khada hun, Baba. Tiranga Baba - Lo, gadhe nay khud par itna makeup kar rakha hai ki mai hi nahi pehchan paa raha hun isse. Chindi - Wo kya hai naa Baba mai struggling beautician aur dress designer hun. Sabhi mere experiments se ghabrate hai isliye khud par hi practice kar leta hun. Tiranga Baba - Chup.....ye sab mujhe mat bata...ye apne resume mey likhiyo. Tu Shakti ki dress dhang se manage nahi kar sakta. Kal kay jagratey mey wo sandals pehan kar stage par prakat ho gayi. Kal Navratro mey Maa Chandraghante ka din tha aur tumne Shakti par kaun si maa ka makeup kiya tha.....bol kuttey mujhe tere mooh se hi sunna hai. Chindi - ..........Maa Kaalratri ka. Tiranga Baba - Aur Orchestra waalo, ye batao ki Shakti kay stage par prakat honay kay baad background mey ghanto aur shankho ki aawazien kyu nahi aayi ?
Orchestra group mey peeche chhupkar kisi nay sabki taraf se bola. "Baba ji, aapne sirf 4-5 gaane ratt rakhe hai aur har 15 minutes baad wahi dohrate rehte ho. Upar se Devi Maa ko zabardasti ki Sher-OShayari dedicate karte ho. Hum sabhi jitna bhi control karein jhhapki lag hi jaati hai." Tiranga Baba - Kyu yaad karun mai gaane.....mera kaam chunni pehen kay Narendra Chanchal aur Lakhkha Singh ki tarah bhetein sunana nahi hai. Mere aur unke level mey bahut antar hai. Waise bhi Shakti doosre hi bhajan mey prakat ho jaati hai phir to bas follow up karna hota hai aur bhakto ka chadhawa collect karna hota hai. Aaj to maine kisi tarah manage kar liya par aage se sab dhyaan rakhna kyoki yahi business humey arabpati banayega. Dismiss !
Casting :Tiranga and Shakti (Part - 2)
Raat kay waqt 'Tunda Gaon' mey 'Jai Bharat Jagrata Band' ka jagrata shuru hua. Tiranga Baba - Aa rahe maiyaa kay......jai ho....aa rahe maiyaa kay navratey ho rahe ghar ghar mey jagratey. Bhakto, maiyaa ka darbaar saja hai......to maiyaa ki khidmat mey ek sher pesh karke iss mehfil ka aagaz karna chahunga. Zara gaut farmaiyega.....ahm! Jhoot bolna paap hai, Uncle kay ghar mey saanp hai, Kaali mata aayengi,
Achchhi achchhi le jaayengi....chhichi chhichi de jaayengi. Iss sher kay saath hi Shakti stage par prakat ho gayi aur Tiranga Baba ki commentary badhe huey josh kay saath phir shuru ho gayi. Aaha, to aa rahe maiyaa kay......jai ho.....come on you jagrata people everybody say Yo! Maiyaa mori mai nahi maakhan khayo. Om, Bhakto, Devi Maa prakat ho gayi hai. Sab log dheere dheere line mey badhte jaayenge aur maiyaa ka ashirvaad lete jaayenge. Ye prasad waale pandal ki taraf itni bheed kyu laga rakhi hai.......chhi chhi chhi.....arre karamjalo, pehle maiyaa ji kay darshan karke aasish to le lo.....prasad khilvalo pehle fuhado se. Stage par avtarit Shakti ka ashirvaad lene bheed stage ki jagah gherti jaa rahi thi. Tiranga ek professional 'event manager' ki tarah sabko nirdesh de raha tha. Tiranga Baba - Aaha.....gaate raho...pyaara saja hai tera dwaar maiyaa ji......dhang se chalo.....ye habad-tabad kyu macha rakhi hai......arre, mera labada fhat jaayega uss par se pairr hata paapi......wo kursi nahi hai generator hai......current lag jaayega.....maiyaa kay pairr chhu rahe ho ya nooch rahe ho......sab aaram se aao suffocation ho raha hai yahan par.......kutto, mai stage se dhakka de dunga phir karte rehna 'jai Mata di....jai Mata di.' Mic se hatkar Orchestra ki dhun par jhoomne ka nataka karte hua Tiranga, bina expression ka chehra liye sabko aashirvaad deti putli bani khadi Shakti kay paas pahunch kar dabi aawaz mey bola. Tiranga - Shakti, chehra thoda theek banao, bhukamp peedit Devi maiyaa lag rahi ho. Chinta mat karo bheed jaldi hi aashirvaad lekar kum
ho jaayegi. Aur suno......wo jo ek sardar ji aur ek peeli dhoti waala jaa rahe hai.....haan unhi dono par......chhod do zara si jwala ki lapat .....aaram se. Shakti nay Tiranga dwara chinhit 2 logo par jwala chhod di aur bheed mey afratafri machne kay saath gaon waalo mey halla ho gaya. "Arre, dekho dekho maiyaa nay Charanjot aur Giridhar ki dhotiyon par jwala chhod di.....maiyaa ko gussa aa gaya hai.....iss se pehle ki mata ji hum par bhi apna koop barsaayein bhaago." Tiranga Baba - Bhakto, ghabraiye mat ye sab maata ki mahima hai jo paapiyon ko dand de rahi hai. Bhakto, ye dono besharm 4 ghante se apne parivaaro kay saath aage waale row gher kar "Jai Mata di....Jai Mata di" chilla rahe thay upar se sabse pehle prasad khaakar bina koi bhet chadhaye nihayti kutteypan kay saath sabse pehle jaa rahe thay.....isliye sab saath mey bolenge.....'inke keede pade.' Bheed ek saath bol utthi. "Inke keede pade." Tiranga Baba - Issi wajah se ye dono mata ji kay koop kay bhaajan bane. Aap log krapya shraddha se aakar jo bhi aapke paas ho wo arpit karke kalti ho lijiye. Roli khatm ho gayi hai aur dhaaga hai nahi isliye tilak lagvane aur kalawa bandhvane ki zidd naa karein......varna maiyaa ji ka koop......hey bhagwan kaliyug hai.....dekho to inn 2 yedo ko jali hui dhotiyon kay saath bhi bhaage jaa rahe hai. Charanjot aur Giridhar eksaath bole. "Baba ji, hum log bhaag nahi rahe hai. Dhoti kay saath bahut kuch aur bhi jal gaya hai. Zara marham laga kay aur kapde badal kay waapas bhet
chadhane zaroor aayenge." Kuch samay baad jagrata lagbhag samapt ho gaya tha aur Tiranga chadahwey ko categories mey baantkar apni jagrata mandali se usse ginva raha tha. Tabhi stage par khade Tiranga kay mooh par roshni padti hai. Tiranga - Abe, Teri, buddha Commissioner abhi tak marra nahi kya aur itne buddhape mey kaun si police nay isse abhi tak rakh rakha hai.......aur bewkoof se ye nahi hua ki mujhse seedhe yahan aakar mil le......pata nahi gaon mey kiski jhhopdi kay chhappar par khada hokar 'Suraksha Chakra' jala raha hai. Chindi - Baba ji, wo 'Suraksha Chakra' nahi balki issi taraf aa rahi kisi jeep kay upar lagi lights ki roshni hai. Lagta hai ki aapke jagratey ko trace karti hui koi maaldaar party iss gaon mey aayi hai. Tiranga - Phir bhi hoshiyar raho sab, kahin psycho anchors waale kisi news channel ka sting operation naa ho. Jeep se utarkar kuch jaani pehchani aakritiyan stage par Tiranga kay paas pahunchi. Wo Sanjay Gupta ji aur Raj Comics Management kay kuch sadasya thay. Sanjay Gupta - Hello, Tiranga aur Shakti. Mai tum....... Tiranga - Ha ha ha, ab aaya unnth pahaad kay peeche. Chindi - Baba, pahaad kay peeche nahi neeche. Tiranga - Chup, galtiyan ginva liya kar....kaam mat kariyo kabhi. Kyu Sanju Baba, Aakhir bandh ho gayi naa RC......aana pada naa humare paas. RC is loser...nay nay nay nay nay....hurrrr...nay nay.
Shakti - Pehle Sanjay ji ki baat sun to lo, Tiranga. Sanjay ji nay Tiranga aur Shakti se unki comics ka prakashan bandh karne kay liye maafi maangi aur apni film mey unhe badhiya role dene ki baat kahi. Tiranga - Maafi maangne se galti kum nahi ho jaati.....naa ji naa......humara ye business bahut profit de raha hai. Mai to kehta hun ki ye sab jhanjhat chhod kay aap bhi humari mandali join kar lo......mere side mey khade hokar apne lambe jhhuthade baal jhatak diya karna......keh dunga inme doosri devi aaya karti hai. Ek stage par do deviyan yaani humey dugna chadhawa milega. Sanjay Gupta ji aur Raj Comics Management se judde doosre logo kay bahut samjhane kay baad. Tiranga - Chalo itna keh rahe hai sab to waapas aa jaata hun. Dekho bhaiya mai zyada laalchi to hun nahi.....ek to mujhe apna makeover chahiye.......mere origin par 2-4 series chala dena......aur iss film mey 2 gaane mujh par shoot honay chahiye......Visarpi to kar rahi hogi naa ek item number....haan ek uske saath kar lunga. Shakti - Mere baare mey bhi to bolo. Tiranga - Haan, ispar bhi thoda dhyaan de dena. Ye shooting jahan jahan hogi wahan par hum log 2-3 jagratey karenge......ab to iski aadat si ho gayi hai aur upar se RC par bharosa bhi nahi hai. Isliye humari poori Jagrata Team shooting mey saath rahegi......inn sabko spotboys aur lightmen kay saath adjust kar lena. Aakhirkaar, RC management ko Tiranga ki sabhi sharte maan ni padi aur apni film kay liye Raj Comics ko apne do characters mil gaye jin par wo
uss film kay kuch solo scenes shoot kar sakti thi.
Casting : Inspector Steel
Door jaa chuke apne Heroes ki khoj Raj Comics dwara zor shor se jaari thi. Sanjay Gupta ji aur RC management Bharat bhar mey ghoom rahe thay. Place - Jupiter Circus, Rajnagar. Dhruv ki madad se Jupiter Circus ek baar phir se shuru ho gaya tha. Naye kalakaaro kay saath ye circus Rajnagar aur aas paas kay elako mey safaltapoorvak chal raha tha. Raat kay waqt iss circus mey kaam karne waale log aapas mey baat kar rahe thay......par ek aakriti se sabhi doori banaye huey thay. "Idhar koney mey aao Joravar, ek baat batani hai." Joravar - Abe, mujhe nahi sun ni teri baat. "Harpaal, tum to sun lo." Harpaal - Oye naa oye. "Aap to meri baat sun lo, Rustma chacha." Rustam Chacha - Mere buddhape ka to khayal kar, khabees kay bachche. "Mera dost Manohar zaroor sunega meri baat."
Manohar - Dekh naa mai tera dost hun aur naa mai teri baat sununga......wo dekh humare circus mey 'Kaan' naam ka naya kartabi ladka aaya hai usse pakad kay suna de. Dekh wo to khud hi tujhe dekh kar tere paas aa raha hai. Ab to usse Bhagwan hi bacha sakta hai. Kaan - Hello Sir, mera naam Kaan hai aur mai aapka bahut bada fan hun. Maine aapki sabhi comics padhi hai. Aajkal aapki comics kyu nahi publish ho rahi ? aur aap yahan kya kar rahe hai ? Kisi apradhi ko pakadne aaye hai kya ? Hey bhagwan koi mujhe chuti kaato.......mujhe to vishvaas hi nahi ho raha ki mere saamne Inspector Steel ji khade hai. Inspector Steel - Hello Kaan, mai yahan kaam karta hun. Kaan - Kya, koi mujhe dobara chuti kaato. Aap aur yahan par aisa kaise ho sakta hai ? Ye chuti kisne kaati hai.....khoon nikal aaya. Inspector Steel - Ye ek lambi kahani hai, kya tum sunna chahoge ? Kaan - Bilkul. Rustam Chacha - La-haul-vila-kuvvat, ye naya ladka to gaya. Ya mere maula iski hifazat karna. Inspector Steel ki kahani shuru hui. Inspector Steel - Jab meri comics aana bandh hui tab mai kaam ki talaash mey maara maara bhatakne laga. Phir 1 mahiney pehle mera yahan as an 'Ajuba' placement ho gaya. Tabhi se mai poori mehnat aur lagan se yahan har show mey kaam karta hun. Phir bhi mujhe poori charging to chhodo 2 waqt ka 'Mobil Oil' tak nahi milta hai. Jabki wo Dhruv haftey mey ek baar aakar bheed ki taraf haath hila deta hai ussi se usko lakho rupaye mil jaate hai......discrimination dekho.....'Robot Rights' naam ki koi cheez hi nahi hai. Jab tak mai RC mey tha tab tak
Anees har cheez sambhal leta tha. Ye log to har show kay 25 Rupaye dete hai. Din ki saari kamaai regular maintainance mey kabaadi waala le leta hai. Ab to mujhe circus kay bahar bijli kay taaro par katiya daal kar khud ki charging karni padti hai. Issi charging kay chakkar mey Parso hi short circuit ho gaya aur mujhe kisi nay nahi bachaya.....15 minutes tak aate jaate log circus ka promotion stunt samajhkar taaliyan bajate rahe. Ghantey beet tey jaa rahe thay lekin Inspector Steel ki 'tragedy tale' dhaarapravaah jaari thi. Kaan ko dheere dheere samajh mey aa raha tha ki circus mey kaam karne waale log Steel se door kyu bhaagte hai. Inspector Steel - Itne apradhiyon ko pakadvaya aur ab to unme se kai show karte waqt mujh par chavanni atthanni faink kar mujhe tease karte hai.......lekin zindagi hai jee raha hun. Maine itne kaam kiye par Inspector ka Inspector hi reh gaya......ek promotion dene mey kiski naani ki kidney mey stone aa raha tha. Meri 'Mega Gun' ko inhone South India kay kisi Film Production House ko baich diya. Suna hai apni agli film mey Rajnikanth usse use karega. Ek din mai subah sokar uttha to bada khaali khaali sa lag raha tha dhyaan diya aur circus waalo se poocha to pata chala ki mere 450 kgs mey se 435 kgs kabaadi ko baich diya. Baaki bache 15 kgs mey dimaag, wiring aur bahar ka dhaancha tha varna wo bhi bik jaata......halka sa chhu kar dekho "tann tann" ki aawaz aa rahi hai naa ? Kaan (Jo ghanto tak Steel ki lagataar bakvaas sunkar ardhbehoshi ki awastha mey pahunch chuka tha.) - ."...........ammm.....haan aa rahi hai." Inspector Steel - Zalimo nay mujhe haathi kay pinjrey mey bandh kar rakha hai. Wo bhi inhi ki category ka hai. 40 kilo khaata hai phir 36 kilo se pinjra sadata hai. Steel bolta jaa raha tha aur Kaan kay kaan pakk chuke thay. Uski mundi
ek taraf ludhak chuki thi. Subah circus mey kaam karne waale logo nay behosh pade Kaan ko dekha.......Steel uske bagal mey ab bhi badbada raha tha. Joravar - Haay Ram, iss darinde ko kab thandak milegi......pehle comics mey pakaya karta tha aur ab yahan........ Manohar - Maine kaha tha naa ki iss ladke ko 2 ghante baad kisi bhi tarah wahan se hata lena. Dekho behosh hi hua hai naa kahin coma mey to nahi chala gaya. Tabhi Sanjay Gupta apne saathiyo kay saath wahan pahunchte hai. Sanjay Gupta - Hi, Inspector Steel, mai tumhe lene aaya hun. Chalo mere saath mai tumhe phir se kaam dunga. Inspector Steel - Dekho....dekho......wo aa gaya......dekho wo aa gaya.....re raa re raa...re raa...re raa...paraa ....paraa ...paraa ...paraa ....paraa....paraa...paraa...paraa.....paraa paa. Nahi, Sir mere reprints chhap kar mujhe aur sharminda mat kijiye. Sanjay Gupta ji nay Inspector Steel ko saari baatein batayi aur usse repair, uske makeover aur uski comics dobara shuru karne ka bhi vaayda kiya. Wahan apne ekmatra kabaadi waale dost se vida lekar Inspector Steel, Raj Comics ki team kay saath ho liya.
Casting : Anthony
Nagraj, Dhruv aur Doga ab RC ki pahunch se door nazar aa rahe thay. Isliye RC ab doosre vikalpo par dhyaan de rahi thi jinme se ek tha Anthony. Jaate waqt RC ko Anthony dwara diye gaye phone number par
koi response nahi mil raha tha. Halaki uss phone number se poore RC Management ko ashleel S.M.S. bheje jaa rahe thay. Kabhi phone connect bhi hota to ek kauwey ki aawaz kay alawa koi jawab nahi milta. Sanjay Gupta ji pareshaan thay. Sanjay Gupta - Yaar, Nagraj international star ban kar bhaav khaa raha hai samajh mey aata hai. Doga bollywood mey pahunch kar nakhre dikha raha hai samajh mey aata hai. Dhruv kay paas samay nahi hai ye bhi theek lagta hai sunne mey.......par Anthony......Anthony phone kyu nahi uttha raha? Upar se.....S.M.S. mey hum sabko gaaliyan kyu bhej raha hai. Jab usse RC se nikala tha to tab 2 mahino tak to bahut se kauwo kay jhhund aakar poore Raj Comics kay compound aur workers par din bhar beat karke jaate thay.......itne saare kauwey thay ki har aadhe ghantey mey ek jhhund ki shift badalti thi. Ek baar mai kisi kaam se Bihar gaya to wahan bhi mere peeche peeche aa gaya. Aakhri baar kahin Bihar se hi phone kiya tha ki "Mujhe dobara publish kar do.......chahe multistar comics mey 'Kohram' ki tarah hi role de dena.....par mujhe rakh lo." Phir kai mahino se naa usne phone kiya naa humney usse yaad kiya. Anthony humare liye bahut zaroori hai. Uss number par try karte raho aur mai to kehta hun ki Bihar mey jitne bhi Anthony Gonzalvez hai unhe contact karte raho.....jispar bhi Raj Comics kay Anthony honay ka shaq ho usse alag alag phones se pareshan karte raho chahe wo kahe ki mai RC waala Anthony nahi hun. Kabhi naa kabhi to apna Anthony baat karega. Raj Comics kay office ka manzar kisi Dant Manjan kay Call Center jaisa lag raha tha aur aakhirkar iss plan ko safalta mil hi gayi. "Haan.....mai hi hun Anthony.....khaa lo mujhe.....pareshaan kar rakha hai. Aur haan apna naam batao." Babita ji (RC ki ek artist) - Mera naam Babita hai.
Anthony - Milna to bataunga 'Thandi Aag' kisse kehte hai. Sanjay ji ko phone do.....Arre, darro mat phone se nahi aati thandi aag. Sanjay Gupta - Haan, mai Sanjay Gupta bol raha hun. Anthony - Wey wey wey wey...chupiye. Pata hai mujhe....aatma kya mai sirf bhootniyon se milne kay liye bana hun? Thodi hi dair mey RC Management aur Anthony 'Teleconferencing' kay maadhyam se ek doosre ko dekhkar baatein karne lage. Sanjay Gupta - Anthony, aajkal tum kahan ho? Ye tum kiske aalishaan ghar mey baith kar baatein kar rahe ho? Humey tumhari zaroorat hai. Anthony - O Hello, ye mera ghar hai.....Prince peeche uss Dining Table par inhe beat karke dikha........(Prince kay beat karne kay baad).....j baat.....khush kar diya dil ko. Kya maine suna ki kisi ko meri zaroorat hai......nahi bhaiya ab to hum poore 4 saalo tak booked hun. Arre, Suzi darling.....tumne subah Sona Bath kay heaters khuley chhod diye thay. Aur suno Julie aur Maria kay aane se pehle yahan se nikal lo, Prince iska hisaab kar dena. Haan, to bhai Dhananjay ji bolo. Sanjay Gupta - Anthony, Raj Comics ek bahut badi multi star film bana rahi hai. Hum tumhe usme achchha role denge aur tumhari comic series bhi phir se shuru kar denge. Anthony - Wey wey wey wey wey.....mujhe aana hi nahi hai. Sanjay Gupta - Achchha ye to bata do ki tum aajkal aisa kya kar rahe ho jo tum humare saath kaam nahi karna chahte? Anthony - Bade dhakke deke nikala tha naa......meri comics ki sales aur
mere fanbase par bahut chidaya tha naa mujhe......ye ab baalo kay peeche mooh kyu chhupa rahe hai? Tab to mere straight lambe baalo ko "jhhutadey" keh kar itni buri tarah maroda tha ki ab wo permanently curly ban gaye hai. Ek to mujhe inhone khud hi banaya aur khud hi chidha rahe thay. "Chal bhaag, 'Crow' ki copy. Shame! Shame!" Badi dhonss jama rahe thay tab......ab tutak tutak tutak tutiya karke dahi jama lo. Kya samajhte hai aap log ki kya India mey sirf hindi comics chalti hai......Bhojpuri Comics nahi ho sakti. Haan, Sanjay ji, Bihar aane kay kuch samay baad mujhe Shri Shri 1008 Sanki Sinku ji nay apni Bhojpuri comic 'Mast Murda' mey break diya. Tabse mai bhojpuri films aur comics ka superstar 'Anthonya' ban chuka hun. Ye dekhiye meri aane waali comics ka advertisement.
*Bajrangi Kaamics, Jaunpur. Prastut karat hai.* Anthonya Gunjaalbhej...Kabra waala....Okar kauwa Princwa Kaavu laal apraadh howat dekh ke to karkashaaye lagela.....E karkasha aawaj ek murdan ki dehiya me jaan daale le....aisan murda jekra ke dekh kar apradhiyan ka rooh sukhaay jaale aur dhoti geela ho jaayle.....shareer thartharaaye lagela....Anthonya ka thandi aag le apraadhiyan ka aatma tadpe lagela...matbal finally uu sab marr jaayela. Hamre supertar Anthonya Gunjaalbhej ka ek aur
tahalka...Okar agla kaamics ha "Utth Murde Pappi De" ...E kaamics me aayi ek murdan aurat...U Anthonya ka madad kari aur Anthonya se ek thho pappi kaa vaada le li rahi...par Anthonya aapan vaada nibhaaye khaatir okra ke ek kutta ka chhota puppy dilwaa dehi.....Offo, by mistakwa climaxo adbhertisementwe me diyaa gayil...kaunho baat naahi...hamre superstar ka E nayi naveli kaamics sirf bajrangi kaamics me...jarur padhiyah.......aaur to bas....Jai Bajrangi!!! Sanjay Gupta - O No, mera matlab badhaai ho, Anthony, par kya tumhe banane waalo ka tum par itna bhi haq nahi? kya tum unke paas waapas nahi aaoge? Anthony - Hmmm, ahm! Emotional Blackmailing......jab mai aisi requests kar raha tha tab to mere mooh par garam chaai faink kar apne workers se kaha tha ki ye to murda hai ispar koi asar nahi hoga.....aur phir sab hasney lage. Dekhiye Bihar mey mere bahut commitments hai.....balki mai to kehta hun ki aap bhi iss industry mey aa jaao. Sanjay Gupta - Anthony, samajhne ki kosish karo. Mai tumhari comics dobara shuru karne ko tayyar hun aur film mey achchha role bhi hai. Anthony - Theek hai par meri kuch shartey hai. Sanjay Gupta - Mujhe pata tha, tum bhi bolo. Anthony - Meri comics hindi mey chahe baad mey chhape par unka Bhopuri version pehle aa jaana chahiye. Meri ek film lagbhag poori hai
par uske gaane shoot honay se pehle hi financer bhaag gaya........to aap....he he. Sanjay Gupta - Sab ho jaayega, tum bas aao jaldi? Anthony - Aavat hai....Aavat hai, Bye.
Casting : Parmanu (Part - 1)
Kuch Superheroes kay solo scenes kay saath film kay kuch hisso ki
shooting shuru ho gayi thi. RC management ko yaad aaya ki Delhi kay 3 super characters mey se 2 (Shakti aur Tiranga) unke paas thay par Parmanu ka kahin koi pata nahi tha. Halaki, Vinay ya Parmanu kay kabhi kabar Delhi mey dikhne ki khabarein aati rehti thi. Sanjay Gupta - Ye Parmanu kahan gaayab ho gaya? Jab usse RC se nikala tha tab sadme kay maare 15 dino tak RC kay bahar seedhiyon par hi baitha rehta tha. Iss sadme ki wajah se uski Police ki naukri bhi chali gayi aur aise chhitey huey majnoo jaise chehre waale insaan se koi modelling ya acting to kya spot boy ka kaam bhi nahi karvayega. Chalo everybody, usse dhoondna shuru karte hai. Parmanu (Vinay) apni rozi roti kay naye naye jugaad talaash kar raha tha. Date - 26 January. Rajpath se Red Fort, Delhi tak jaati parade. "Mere pyare desh vaasiyon, aaj hai Bharat ka Republic Day yaani Gantantra Divas. Aaj hi kay din humare desh ka samvidhaan laagu hua tha. Iss shubh avsar par Indian Government nay kai saalo se chali a rahi apni 'Doordarshaned' monotony toodney kay liye Republic Day ki parade mey kuch naye programs joode hai. Issi kram mey aaj humare saath hai Bharat vaasiyon ki ekta ka prateek ye naujawan Vinay. Delhi mey itney saalo se reh kar aur desh bhar kay logo se interaction karne kay kaaran ye Bharat kay sabhi pradesho ki bhashayein bol letey hai. Vinay aaj poore desh kay liye akhandta mey ekta ki misaal de raha hai." Sabhi Pradesho ki jhaankiyon aur kalakaaro kay guzarney kay saath Vinay wahan se judde folk geet gaane lagta hai. Thodi dair baad.
Announcer - Ab aa rahi hai Karnataka ki jhaanki. Vinay - Arre, achchha, itni jaldi. Tamil Nadu waala gaana poora kahan hua ? Announcer (Mic par haath rakh kar) - Tum jaldi jaldi gaao naa.....aur baat karte waqt Mic se mooh door rakha karo. Announcer (darshako se) - Ab aa rahi hai Rajasthan ki jhaanki. Vinay - Hoo....hooo....maahra assi kali ka lehenga dekhyo.....ghoom riya re banjaran lakh kay maar gee re.....hoo jiya maahra ghoom riya re banjaran rakh kay maar gee re......hun gherdaar naachu....ghumerdaar naachu....mai jhoom jhoom naachu. Hoo....naa thaara......hoo naa maahra......yo paap kiska ? O lehengey waali padhaaro maahre desh ri. Vinay (Announcer se) - Bengal ki jhaanki aa rahi hai. Kuch yaad nahi aa raha "Ami chhe tumaar", gaa dun. Announcer - 'Bhool Bhulaiya' sabne dekhi hai.......ab gaa kay dikhaao.....ab tum swayam Mahamahim Rastrapati ji se pitoge. Aa jaate hai kahan kahan se....huh!! Vinay - Ayeee....hool kisey de rela hai....meri source nahi jaanta......chal re.....beta ab to teri posting Andmaan Nicobar Doordarshan Kendra par hogi. West Bengal ki jhaanki kay aane par. Vinay - Karbo ladbo jeetbo re....ammmm.....ladbo karbo jeetbo re....jeetbo ladbo karbo re......ekla chaalo.....baabumoshaaye, roosogulla khaaye, mishti lagaye....ami tumaro bhalo bhashi.....kay mon
aachein.....odi baba....hari yom hari, ye kukur mari.... Vinay (Announcer se) - Aaya mazaa.....le le kaddu. Bharat kay kai hisso ki jhaankiyan wahan ki parampara aur visheshtaaon ka chitran karti jaa rahi thi aur Vinay taabad tood jaari tha. Maharastra Vinay - Dhagala laagli kala....paani theem theem thaara.......theem theem theem....rim jhim rim jhim rim jhim.....jhampar....bhowsaa.....ye de ye de ye de ye de.....oye 4 'yede'....aaiygaa.....chalgo rani...gaayuga gani...firutey aapra sango...yada doodho nay maadhi phudo...paani theem theem thaara. Bihar Vinay - Neemiya kay rupava dekho neemiya singaarva.....neemiya taravna.....laahiye jhaad fhoonk hola.....neemiya taravna...laahiye jhhad fhoonk hola. Saakira kay bhoro baat chamela ram....aiher ghaate pahunchaai. Daman and Diu Vinay - Nit kher manga soniye mai teri, Diu naa koi Daman maangdi. Tere paira vich akheer hovey meri dua naa koi hoor mangdi. Announcer - Arre..... Vinay - Hmmmmmmmm. Dadra and Nagar Haveli -
Vinay - Khol de palka de bue khol de.....raas utthi.... nain mere jhoot naiyo bool de.....Haaaye daadar kay dada (governor).....haveli de bue khol de. Announcer - Lekin..... Vinay - Chup reh. Pondicherry Vinay - Kay jedo jedo dil kisey daa dooley.....kay harsa tak dhina dhin doley....kay nawa nawa raas ishaq da ghoole....tu saanu bhuli naaa... Announcer - Par suno to.... Vinay - Iske baad mat bol diyo kuch.....Mic kay taar se tera gala ghoot dunga. Lakshyadweep Vinay - Gora mukhda te chunni kaale rang di, thoda hasdi te thoda jaave saang di..... Billo yaar di...yaar di.....yaar di ni...Billo yaar di nishani chhala mangdi. Andaman and Nicobar Islands Vinay - Sawan mey laag gayi aag....kay dil mera haaayeee.....tuney hasina pagal diwani......aaj naa soya saari raat....dil mera haayyeee. Announcer - Vinay, sabhi mey punjabi gaane kyu gaa raha hai. Vinay - Kahan paala pad gaya hai.....mujhe States kay folk gaane tayyar karne ko kaha gaya tha. Inn Union Territories kay baare mey kisi nay
kuch nahi bataya tha aur jab ye log khushi khushi naachte huey jaa rahe hai to tumhe kya problem hai.......yo uncles, feel it, pump it......sawan mey lag gayi aag......
Casting : Parmanu (Part - 2)
Announcer - Ab Rajpath se guzar rahi hai Gujrat ki jhaanki. Vinay - Hoyeeeee.....Odi umar haai baali....vadi toor nirali....jhind nach mundri daa jaap di.... Ho dil lay gayi kudi...Gujrat di....ho dil lay gayi kudi...chakk de...Gujrat di. Vinay (Announcer se) - For God's sake ab ye mat kehna ki isme Gujrat nahi tha. Haryana Vinay - Sasu nay kholya sandook...usme nikdi ek bandook....sasu darr gi kay bahuar tu yo kay laayi se....ni humey maaran aayi se........socha tha mann maahri bahu dhan ghote laavegi...sasure ne guddi sasu nay har pehravegi...kiski guddi kiska haar...laayi maanas maar samaar.....sasu darr gi..... Jammu and Kashmir Vinay - Ya Elaaaahiiiiiiii......mit naa jaan diiiiiiiiii......dardre dil.....took took......yaa Elahi. Announcer - Abhi jhaanki khatm nahi hui hai. Vinay - Achchha kuttey.
Vinay - Alif laila....Dastaane Hakim Taayi....Ali Baba chaalis chor.....Alladin...Sindbad...Al habibi.....Al kamaal.....Rustam.....jamaal. Ab ? Announcer - Haan......ab khatm ho gayi. Sanjay Gupta ji ko khabar milti hai ki Vinay 26 January ki parade mey program kar raha hai. T.V. par Vinay masti mey kai Rajyo kay folk geet gaata dikh raha tha. "Sanjay ji, 22 States ho gayi hai......jaldi chaliye.....kahin Vinay haath se nikal naa jaaye." Assam Vinay - Tomo moro surar milan shishti hou chaluo chatan. Chaluo kotaal. Sabhi pradesho ki jhaankiyan aa chuki thi aur Vinay ka show apne antim charan mey tha. Sanjay ji jaldi hi Vinay kay manch se thodi door Rajpath par pahunch jaate hai. Unki chinta aur jaldbaazi dekh kar suraksha bal aur sainik unhe aur unke saath aaye RC Management kay logo ko rook lete hai. Sabhi ka dhyaan unki taraf jaata hai. Unhe dekh kar pehle se hi khunnas khaaya Vinay gusse se mic par hi chillaney lagta hai. Vinay - Pakad lo....pakad lo....isse....yahi hai Osama ka mama...yahan bomb phhodne aaya hai.....iske saath aaye sabhi chunnu munnu ko bhi pakad lo. Sanjay ji aur unke saathi creatives ko sandeh kay adhaar par giraftaar karke le jaaya jaa raha hota hai to Sanjay ji Vinay ki taraf kuch shabd zor se chilla kar usse convince karne ki apni aakhri kosish karte hai.
Sanjay Gupta - Tumhari restart......main lead....multi starer film...makeover....origin series.... Ye kuch shabd jaadu sa asar karte hai aur Vinay khushi mey Rajpath se thodi door poore RC Management ko lekar bheed ka faayda utthakar ho jaata hai "Transmit".
Casting : Kobi and Bheriya (Part - 1)
Place - Assam kay Jungle. Kobi aur Jane ki behas chal rahi thi, mudda wahi purana tha. Jane - Kobi, tum kisi kaam kay nahi ho. Tum nalayak ho, nitthaley ho. Tum aalsi bhains kay lalley ho. Tum se achchhe to Fujo Baba aur Bheriya hai jo har samay Jungle ki bhalaai kay liye kaam karte hai. Kobi - Mai to apni mommy ka lalla hun, yahan kis kabiley mey bhains kay lalley paida hotay hai ? Fujo aur Bheriya kuch nahi karte. Wo bhi ussi aalsi bhains kay lalley hai. Wo budhau to paudhe, fhal, pattiyan, ghis ghis kar poore jungle ko saalo se chuna laga raha hai aur Bheriya sabhi kabilo ki raksha kay naam par unse mannchaha khana peena, rishvat leta hai aur upar se unki bahu betiyon kay saath flirt karta hai. Aisi raksha to mai free mey kar dun. Jane - Jhoot bol rahe ho tum. Kobi - Haan ji, Bheriya Devta nay to sabhi galat kaamo ki registry mere naam par kar rakhi hai. Jaao, Fujo buddha apni baaton se kisi kabile ko ullu bana raha hoga uske saath lag lo tumhe bhi paise mil jaayenge.
Khud bhi to khaali baithi rehti ho. Itni lambi series chal gayi jabse Bheriya do hisso mey bant gaya par inn madam se abhi tak decide nahi hua ki ye kiske saath shaadi karengi aur rahengi. Iss confusion mey tabse dono se kaam nikalvati rehti ho.....besharam. Jungle ki madad karna to mere baayein haath ka khel hai. Tumhari tarah thodi naa ki 2 logo ki chot par dettol laga diya aur 'Red Cross' se certificate lene pahunch gayi. Jungle ki seva kaise hoti hai ye mai tum sabhi ko bataunga. Goodbye!! Kobi nay Jungli Kabilo ki "madad" ka abhiyaan shuru kar diya. Kobi hamesha apni dhun mey rehne waala insaan.....er....jaanvar....jo bhi hai, usse ab tak duniyadaari ki dikkaton se koi matlab nahi rehta tha isliye kabilo ki pareshaaniyon ko jaanne kay liye usne ek kabiley vasi ko pakda. Kobi - Oye fhunndney waale....haan tu hi 'lije buje' insaan idhar aaiyo. Fhunndney waala - J...ji..Kobi Devta. Kobi - Iss jungle ki sabse badi pareshaani kya hai? Fhunndney waala - Aap. Kobi - Mai tera fhunndna nooch lunga.....chal maaf kiya aaj mera mood achchha hai ye bata ki tere kabiley waalo ki sabse badi dikkat kya hai...mere alawa. Fhunndney waala - Wo kya hai naa ki humara kabila aur kuch kabiley jo jungle kay beech mey hai naa, unhe paani kay liye naa, bahut door jaana padta hai naa to naa upar se naa jungle mey naa khatre bahut hai naa....tum samajh rahe ho naa. Kobi - Naa...mera matlab haan. Theek hai mai kuch karta hun waise
tumhara naam kya hai nana? Fhunndney waala - Mera naam Fhunndney waala hai. Kobi - Hmmmm, jaao khelo. Thodi dair baad. "Aye bhai yahan Bheed kyu lagi hai?" "Suna hai ki Kobi yahan kay kabilo kay liye paani ka prabandh kar raha hai." Kobi apni divya gada se zameen par zor se prahaar karta hai. Thodi dair baad. "Aye bhai ab kya hua?" "Agar zinda bacho to apni I.Q. test karva lena, Kobi nay paani kay liye zameen mey gada maari aur aisi dharti phhati ki poore Jungle mey baadh aa gayi." Halaki, Kobi aur Bheriya nay sabhi Kabiley waalo aur jaanvaro ko baadh se bacha liya tha par iss kaam kay liye Kobi ki bahut ninda hui. Kuch dino baad Kobi phir se samaj seva mey lag gaya. Ek subah Kobi nay Jungliyon ki bhed bakriyan aur maveshiyon ko charaney kay kaam par apni Bheriya Fauj ko lagaya aur shaam tak Bheriya Fauj apne basic instincts kay anusaar unn sabhi maveshiyon ko hi char gayi.
'Jungli Greh Udyog' kay liye Kobi nay free mey apni poonch se jaldi jaldi bhaari maatra mey mirch - masale peesne ka kaam shuru kiya. Ek din tez aandhi chali aur wo masale Kobi ki poonch se udd kar uske shareer kay 'achchhe' hisso mey achchhi tarah lag gaye aur uske baad Kobi nay record 32 ghanto tak saare jungle mey "Mommy, jal raha/rahi hai", "Fujo, bacha le", etc, ki aawazo kay saath dance kiya. Iss jhatke se ubarne kay baad Kobi nay Kabilo kay senior citizens par dhyaan dena shuru kiya. Kobi - Aaj mai Fujo kay alawa jungle kay sabhi buddhe - buddhiyon ko subah ki sair par le jaaunga. Ussi din ki Dopahar jungle kay sabhi buzurg log Jungli Hospital mey bharti thay. Ek Buddhi Aunty apna dukhda roo rahi thi. "Haaaaaay.....keede pade uss bhains kay lalley Kobi ko. Ek to subah uttha kar apne saath le gaya. Phir hum sabko ghoomane unnche pahado par le gaya....jahan hum buddhey log thakk gaye aur humari saansein mushkil se aa rahi thi upar se zabardasti yoga aur exercise karva di. Kuttey nay kitaab padh padh kay Baba Ramdev kay saare jatil aasan karvaye hum sab se. Kal phir aane ko kaha hai.....haaaaay. Kal tak koi zinda bachega tab naa." Halaki, kisi buzurg ki maut nahi hui par Kobi nay apni Samaj seva chhod di. Lekin wo "Nitthaley" aur "Bhains kay lalley" jaise tags se pareshaan tha isliye wo kuch karna chahta tha......apne pairo par khada hona chahta tha. Kobi aur Bheriya ko lene Raj Comics ki team Assam kay liye ravana ho chuki thi. Sanjay ji ko poora vishwaas tha ki har baar ki tarah unhe Kobi aur Bheriya aasani se mil jaayenge.
Casting : Kobi and Bheriya (Part - 2)
Jane - Fujo Baba, Bheriya....aap dono kay liye ek surprise hai. Fujo Baba - Kya yahan par koi shopping mall khulne waala hai ? Bheriya - Kobi marr gaya kya ? Jane - Arre, Nahi aisa kuch nahi hai...kal meri bahut door kay rishtey waali cousin Assam kay jungle ghoomne aa rahi hai. Bheriya - Wow!! mera matlab hai oh, kya naam hai uska ? Jane - Kane. Fujo Baba - Oh, mai to aaj hi teerth yatra par jaa raha hun. Bheriya - Mommy, bachaao!! Jane - Aap log dariye mat uska bas naam Kane hai, waise to wo bahut sundar hai aur France ki mashoor super model hai. Fujo Baba - Wow!! mera bhi matlab Oh. Kobi nay khud ko aatmnirbhar banane kay liye 2 professions eksaath apna liye thay. Usne kuch jungliyon ko rakh kar ek halwaai ki dukaan kholi thi jahan aas paas kay kabiley waale darr kay maare subah shaam aate thay aur bemann se mithaaiyon, pakvaano, etc, ki khoob taareef karte thay. Kobi nay jungle mey fhail chuke apne nickname "Bhains kay Lalley" se chidhkar apni dukaan kay doodh ki aapoorti kay liye sirf Bakriyan aur Gaaye rakhi.....usne ek bhi bhains nahi rakhi. Saath hi
additional income kay liye haftey mey aane waale ek do tourists ya tourist groups kay liye Kobi Guide ka kaam bhi karta tha. Iske liye usne thodi bahut English ka bhi abhyaas kiya tha. Kane Airport se Assam kay jungleo tak ek Taxi se pahunchi. Jungle kay andar le jaane se Taxi driver nay mana kar diya aur zidd karne par saamaan samet Kane ko Jungle ki taraf jaane waale raaste par akela chhod diya. Uss waqt Jungle ki taraf aane waale kisi tourist ki raah mey Kobi paas mey hi baitha tha. Kane kay saamne Kobi aa jaata hai aur Kane uski surat aur shareer dekh kar chillane lagti hai. Kobi tourists ki aisi cheekhein pehle bhi sun chuka tha. Aur jaanta tha ki usse kya kehna hai. Kobi - Wow!! I mean Oh. No scare...I am good waala Wolverine. Kane bhi France ki hone kay kaaran English aur Hindi mushkil se bol paati thi. Isliye tooti phooti English hi Kobi aur Kane ki baat cheet ka maadhyam bani. Kane - OK...my name is Kane, I lost...want to go to Jane...in jungle...she my sister. Kobi - OK, I am Bhains ka lalla...er...Kobi...come with me...me jungle guide. Kobi nay Kane ka saara saamaan uttha liya aur Kane uske saath chalne lagi. Pehli nazar mey hi dono ek doosre ko pasand karne lage thay. Kobi nay apni Bheriya fauj kay ek sipahi par Kane ko bithaya. Kobi kay kehne par Kane bina darr kay uss bheriye par baith gayi. Bheriya Fauj kay kuch Bheriyo nay saamaan utthane ki peshkash ki to Kobi nay unhe mana kar diya kyoki wo Kane ko apni body aur power se impress karna chahta tha.
Kobi - You Hungry ? Kane - Yes. Kobi - Lets comeon go! Kane - Lets OK. Kobi Kane ko apni halwaai ki dukaan par le aaya. Usne turant hi saare customers ko bhaga diya aur Kane kay liye khaas intezaam karvaya. Kane itne saare naye naye pakvaano aur mithaaiyon ko dekh kar gad gad ho utthi aur Kobi se sabke naam aur jaankari poochi. Kane nay Jalebi ki aur ishara kiya. Kobi - This is round, round, round and stop. Kane nay Roti kay baare mey poocha. Kobi - Cheetah Bread...Leopard Bread...or bread with sun burn. Kane nay ek mithaai 'Ghewar' ki taraf ishara kiya. Kobi - Lachchhu kay bachche...tujhe aaj hi ye mithaai banani thi....ammmm..this is...empty Bee Nest. Kane nay dahi kay baare mey poocha...wo uski sahi english jaanna chahti thi. Lekin Kobi ko bhi dahi ka english word 'curd' nahi aata tha. Kobi - This is...this is...Milk sleeping night...morning tight.
Khaana khaane kay baad Kane ko Kobi Jane kay paas chhod deta hai. Par iss mulaqat kay baad, Kobi aur Kane ka prem prasang aage badhta hai aur dono chhup chhup kar dating karne lagte hai. Ek baar unn dono ko Bheriya nay dekh liya. To Kobi nay usse bhagaya. Kobi - Jane se mann nahi bharta hai....paapi....Kabilo mey mooh maarne se fursat mil gayi. Bhaag jaa warna aaj mai Bheriya Devta ki permanent madad kar dunga. Kane - He is who ? Kobi - Bheriya is who. He is very 'wo'....chhi chhi man...ammm..potty man...flirts everywhere and with everyone. Ek baar Fujo Baba nay unhe dekh liya. Kobi - Buddhe...zyada mat dekh...khushi khushi mey hi marr jaayega. Kuch dino se Kane aur Kobi gayab thay. Raj Comics ki team Kobi aur Bheriya ko lene aayi to unhe sirf Bheriya mila. Kobi ka poore jungle mey kahin naam-o-nishan nahi tha. Tab Raj Comics ki team, Bheriya, Jane aur Fujo Baba, Kobi ki Halwaai ki Dukaan par gaye. Jahan se unhe Kane aur Kobi ka contact number mila. Sanjay Gupta ji nay Kobi ko phone kiya. Sanjay Gupta - Hello, Kobi mai Sanjay Gupta bol raha hun. Tum kahan ho aur yahan sab uss ladki Kane ki bhi chinta kar rahe hai. Kobi - Hello, mai to France mey hun....Kane kay saath reh raha hun.....Ye jagah to mast hai....2 ghantey zoo mey khada ho jaata
hun...bahut saare paise milte hai. Hum log yahan par honey moon mana rahe hai. Sanjay Gupta - Tumney uss ladki se shaadi kar li kya ? Kane - Kane to 'Live In' Relationship bata rahi thi. Sanjay Gupta - Kobi hum log India mey ek film bana rahe hai....tum Hero ho usme. Jaldi laut kar aa jaao. Kobi - Par pehle aap meri ek baat maano. Sanjay Gupta - Haan, kaho. Kobi - Jab mai laut kar aaunga to badla lene kay liye kisi Hero se pitvaaoge to nahi ? Sanjay Gupta - Nahi, kaho kya baat hai. Kobi - Daantoge to nahi ? Sanjay Gupta - Nahi, ab bolo. Kobi - Samjhaaoge to nahi ? Sanjay Gupta - Arre, Nahi !! Kobi - Kane ko uss film mey kaam de do aur wo bhi mere saath India mey rahegi. Sanjay Gupta - Theek hai, ab jaldi waapas aa jaao.
Casting : Bhokal Or ????????
Sanjay Gupta ji itney zyada tanaav aur thakaan kay chalte beemaar pad gaye thay aur Doctor nay unhe kuch dino kay aaram ki salaah di. Sanjay Gupta ji nay apne naye artists Sushant Panda ki adhyakshta waali Raj Comics Team ko Bhokal ko laane ka kaam diya aur unhe iss kaam ko har haal mey karne kay liye 7 din ki deadline di. Khud Bhokal bhi itney saare projects aur series mey shaamil honay kay kaaran bhayankar 'nervous breakdown' ka shikaar ho gaye thay aur unhe bhi kuch mahino tak aaram ki salah di gayi thi. Sushant aur poori RC team pareshaan thi ki 2 din mey wo Bhokal ko kaise tayyar karenge. 7 Din baad. Sanjay Gupta ji kay ghar par. Ab Sanjay ji lagbhag samanya ho gaye thay aur dobara poore josh kay saath kaam karne kay liye tayyar thay. Unke saamne Sushant aur RC ki Team aayi jo Bhokal ko lene gayi thi. Sanjay Gupta - Ye kya hai ? Sushant Panda - Ye...........Mahabali, Pari Rakshak Bhokal hai. Sanjay Gupta - Achchha, ye kuch chhotey se nahi lag rahe. Sushant Panda - N...nahi to...kyu bhaiyon kisi ko Bhokal chhote lag rahe hai? Sabhi ka jawab tha, "Nahi".
Sanjay Gupta - Ye itna hass kyu rahe hai? Sushant Panda - Aapse itne lambe samay baad milne ki khushi sama nahi paa rahi hai inke andar. Sanjay Gupta - Inse kaho ki zyada khush naa ho.....warna fhhat hi padenge....Aur ye inke saath kaun hai...inhe maine kahin dekha hai. Sushant Panda - Kaisi behki - behki baatein kar rahe hai Sanjay ji ....ab Bhokal aur uske saathiyon ko aapne hi to sabse zyada dekha hai. Dekhiye jo Bhokal ki right side mey hass raha hai wo Atikroor hai. Jo Left side mey hass raha hai wo Shutaan hai. Jo Bhokal kay peeche khadi hass rahi hai par dikh nahi rahi hai wo Tureen hai. Sanjay Gupta - Par ye to 6 hai....baaki 2 kaun hai? Sushant Panda Ammmm....aaaaa...oooooo....ahhaaaa....ahemmmm...ye Bhokal Series kay....arre koi hai....kya hai....? Hamesha ki tarah peeche se (naa trace ki jaa sakne waali) awaaz aayi. "Villains hai." Sushant Panda - Kaun se waale? Phir wahi awaaz. "Amm...ek Kaal Kundali maan lo....aur ek Fhoochang rakh lo." Sanjay Gupta - Oh, lagta hai meri tabiyat abhi theek nahi hui hai. Theek hai Bhokal kay scenes ki shooting shuru karo....
Bhokal - Yeeeee....Sanju....I love you...lekin shooting shuru karne se pehle humari ek shart hai. Sanjay Gupta - Kaisi shart? Fhoochang - Humare saath khelo...khelo.... Sanjay Gupta - Kya? Atikroor - Poshampa Bhai Poshampa...aage bolo...sharmao mat...he he... Sanjay Gupta - Mujhe nahi aata.. Fhoochang - Ohfoo!!..duffer..Poshampa bhai poshampa, Dakiye nay kya kiya? 100 Rupaye ki ghadi churai, 4 aane ki rabdi khaayi, Ab to jail mey jaana padega, Jail ki roti khani padegi, Jail ka paani peena padega...dak dak dak dak dak... Kaal Kundali - Koi baat nahi....achchha Unnch Neech ka Paapda khelte hai. Tureen - Haan..haan..mazaa aayega....Sanju, Unnch Neech ka Paapda....bolo bolo... Sanjay Gupta - Arre, mujhe nahi aata.... Bhokal - Itna simple hai...tab bi seekha nahi kabhi....Unnch Neech ka Paapda, Ghadhe kay maara jhaapda....Unnch maangi ka Neech... Sanjay Gupta - Um..hu..hu..hu..hu....maine Bhokal series kaisi banayi thi
aur ab ye kaisi ho gayi? Tureen - Aao milo, seelo saalo...aata hai? Sanjay Gupta - Mujhe suicide karni hai. Fhoochang - Aye...tum khel kyu nahi rahe ho dhang se....Su-Su lag rahi hai kya? Bhokal - Isse kuch pata nahi hai....iss se simple waale games khelte hai....Chuppan Chhupai, Pakdam Pakdai.... Aur phir RC team nay Bhokal aur uski series kay baaki kirdaaro kay saath Sanjay ji ko akela chhod diya. Sanjay Gupta - Arre..Gud-gudi kyu kar rahe ho Shutaan......aur Atikroor mere baal chhodo....har koi mere baalo kay peeche kyu pada rehta hai...lagta hai ki 'Bacha Lo!' ki shooting khatm honay se pehle mai ganja ho jaaunga....Kaal Kundali mere Computer par Kundali software kyu Download kar rahe ho....hato wahan se. Kaal Kundali - Latest hai...baba....come on...grow up, man!! Tureen - Sanju ka kurta itna bada kaise hai isse fhaado...fhaado... Sanjay Gupta - Tureen, ye Pathani Suit hai iska kurta lamba hota hai. Tureen - Tab bhi...fhaado bhai fhaado... Sanjay ji ka kurta Bhokal aur uske saathiyon nay bade pyaar se fhaada...{charrrrrrrrrrr}. Tureen - Mazaa aaya ji mazaa aaya.....ab baniyaan bhi...
Atikroor - Fhaado ji fhaado.... Sanjay Gupta - Heyyy Bhagwan, mai kahan fhas gaya...Fhoochang mujhe lage Glucose ki bottle kyu pee rahe ho? Fhoochang - Ammm....kyoki mai Villain hun. Sanjay Gupta - Bhokal haath se jagah jagah 'khode' kyu maar rahe ho....'neel' pad jaayenge. Bas bahut hua....aaj ya to mai nahi ya Bhokal series nahi....Yaaaaaaa Sanjay Gupta ji Bhokal aur uski series kay characters kay bartaav se bahut irritate ho gaye thay aur unhone Bhokal, Atikroor, Shutaan, Tureen, Fhoochang, Kaal Kundali, ki akele pitaai shuru kar di. Kaal Kundali - Mommy, ye to maar rahe hai...chipat jaaun kya? Fhoochang - Nahi mere bachche.... Sanjay Gupta - Haiiiii....Fhoochang, Kaal Kundali ki Mommy hai.....ye to mujhe bhi nahi pata tha. Kisi ko nahi chhodunga aaj. Tureen - Ab to mujhe bolna hi padega...... Sanjay Gupta - Gaali dene waali ho kya? Tureen - Atikroor Action, Bhokal Action, Shutaan Action...... Sanjay Gupta - "Action"....Toads?? Haan, ye Fighter Toads hi hai. Sushant kay bachche....Bhokal laane ko kaha tha ye kya le aaya....ye action multi star movie hai....comedy nahi hai....mai behosh honay waala hun.....achchha ye to bata do ki Fhoochang kab se Kaal Kundali ki
Mommy ban gayi? Fhoochang - Hum to Hunter Sharks hai...mai hun 'Matahari' aur Kaal Kundali bana hai hai mera bachcha 'Cheetah'. Lo Durgama late ho gaya tha wo ab aa gaya....mera matlab...mera doosra bachcha 'Tiger'. Bhokal - Aur mai hun Cutter, Masterr bana hai Atikroor, Shutaan hai Shooterr, Tureen hai....he he Computerr. Humne kuch nahi kiya....aapki RC team ko peedit Bhokal ko replace karne kay liye Cutterr yaani mai theek laga kyoki mere paas talwaar hai aur Bhokal se badhiya jazba hai....meri height ko suit karte unhone baaki characters aur villains bhi dhoond liye......To humara role pakka???? Sanjay Gupta ji behosh ho gaye. Lekin...hosh mey aane kay baad bhi Aakhirkaar, koi option naa honay ki wajah se Fighter Toads aur Hunter Sharks...Bhokal series kay liye short list kar liye gaye.
Telephonic Attempt : Doga
RC ki movie se pehle hi Doga ab Bollywood ka chaheta star ban gaya tha. Apni iss badi safalta ki wajah se wo RC se door ho gaya tha. Sanjay ji badi mushkilo kay baad kisi tarah Doga se phone par baat karne mey safal huey. Sanjay Gupta - Hello!! Doga - Hello....kaun...? Sanjay Gupta - Doga mai...Sanjay...
Doga - Arre, Sanju Baba....Bhabhi kaisi hai....unhe family nay 'Manyata' de di kya ? Aur bachchi Trishala kaisi hai....bigad to nahi gayi U.S. mey reh kar....suna Priya didi fhir chunaav jeet gayi.... Sanjay Gupta - Doga, mai Sanjay Dutt nahi..... Doga - Oh, to Sanjay Gadhvi ji bol rahe hai.....badi 'Dhoom' macha rakhi hai aapne....dekho bhai maine bhi apni Bike modify karva li hai....waise Dhoom -3 ki to casting ho chuki hai naa...? Sanjay Gupta - Mai Sanjay Gadhvi nahi.... Doga - To kya Sanjay Suri.....kis kis ko phone number mil jaata hai....tere jaise low budget kay hero ki himmat kaise hui phone karne ki....chhi...chal... Sanjay Gupta - Tum mujhe pehchan nahi paa rahe ho....mai.... Doga - Ab mai pehchan gaya tujhe.....tabhi mai kahu ki mujhe yaad kyu nahi aa raha....haay Ram.....Sanjay Kapoor.....15 saal mey 2 hit di hai aur kaam nahi mila to 'Julie'....ulti aa rahi hai mujhe to....Paapi....tera chehra aisa lagta hai jaise Mohan Jodado ki khudaai mey mila ho.... Sanjay Gupta - Arrrrrrrre.....Doga mai Sanjay Gupta bol raha hun. Doga - Ahaaa, Gupta sahab.....'Dus Kahaniyaan' aur 'Woodstock Villa' to flop ho gayi aapki...agli film 'Acid Factory' mey suna aap Mister Rasayan ko le rahe hai....arre humey bhi yaad kar liya karo sarkar.... Sanjay Gupta - Satyanash ka pulinda.....arre Doga...mai Sanjay Gupta....tumhara Papa.
Doga - Papa.....kyu fhainka koodey par? Sanjay Gupta - Kya matlab? Doga - Oh, sorry.... jab bhi mere Papa...Mommy ki baat aati hai to uske liye yahi dialogue zabaan par aa jaata hai. Sanjay Gupta - Haan to beta mai Raj Comics se Sanjay Gupta bol raha hun.....hum sabhi RC kay superheroes ko saath lekar 1 movie bana rahe hai....'Bacha Lo!'....... .....Aur phone kat gaya aur uske baad phir kabhi nahi mila. Sanjay ji apne bachche Doga se badla lene ki thaan chuke thay.
One of the Telephonic Attempts : Nagraj
"Sanjay ji, Nagraj ka phone mil gaya...baat kijiye." Thodi dair baad. Nagraj - Dekhiye Sanjay ji mere paas dates ki problem hai par phir bhi aapke liye manage kar lunga....wo MPC waale to kuch sunte hai nahi...aapka lehaz karke chup rehta hun varna wo to meri chaddi kay shades par bhi discuss karne ko aatur rehte hai. Sanjay Gupta - Oh, mai unse baat karunga..filhaal mere paas tumhare liye 1 Multi-starer Film ka offer hai. Nagraj - Ammmmm...thodi Script to sunaaiye.....arre, Lalit mera chashma do zara... ....haan ab theek hai....ab bataiye.
Sanjay Gupta - Film ka naam hai..."Bacha lo !" Nagraj - Bachcha lo !....kiska bachcha lein....aur kyu lein...nahi-nahi ....meri pehle se hi itni shaadiyan ho chuki hai, abhi unke bachche sambhalne padenge. Mai doosro kay bachche sambhalte huey kaisa lagunga.....Hello...kuch sunaai nahi de raha....Hello...Hello..... Sanjay Gupta - Mai kuch bol kahan raha hun? Nagraj - Fhir bhi kuch sunaai nahi de raha....Hello..... ...Aur Phone kat gaya.... Sanjay ji ka gussa ab badhta jaa raha tha. Sanjay Gupta - Nagraj jab se bahar gaya hai isse to bas bahana chahiye phone kaatne ka. Kai baar to khud hi "Tu-tu-tu", "Kharrrrrrr" ki aawaze nikaalne lagta hai ki mujhe vishwaas ho jaaye ki network mey kharabi hai ya phone kat gaya. Iska aur Doga ka intezaam to mujhe karna hi padega.
Casting Attempt # 786 : Dhruva
Dhruva U.P. kay Mathura jiley mey ek product ki shooting kay silsiley mey aaya hua tha. Product banane waali company ka maalik hi uss product kay advertisement ka Director tha. Dhruva - Kya bhaiya....kuch problem hai kya...hai??....koi system hai ki nahi...??...2 spot boys...itney to mere Manager kay hotay hai...nahi koi formality ki baat ho to bolo....
Director - Sorry Sir...bas abhi bulata hun...aap baithiye...balki mujh se keh diya kijiye koi bhi kaam....mujhe hi spot boy samajh lijiye. Shot ready hai...aap chahe to..." Dhruva - Shot ready hai to rehne do...abhi to aaya hun...fresh-wresh ho lun gaon ghoom lun....kheto mey bahut mehnati mahilayein kaam kar rahi thi..... Director - Sir, jab aap kahnege tab shooting hogi....ek Shilpa Shetty kay baad aapne hi to UP, Bihar, ki janta ka dil loota hai jahan humara product bikta hai. Dhruva kay mood kay anusaar kuch dair baad shooting shuru hui. Director - Sir ji, aapko bolna hai Jhoompaad Churan, Mitholi, 54vi gali, Balkesh Kumar Revdi ki dukaan kay nikat, Panchkuiyan ka nukkad, Dheemapur Tehseel, Chandachori Gaon, Highway Road, Bhagalpur, Satna, Mathura, Uttar Pradesh. 4 Ghantey baad, Director - Take 68, Rolling Sound....Action. Dhruva - ......54vi gali, Balkesh Kumar Papdi ki dukaan kay nikat... Director - Cut...Sir, Balkesh kumar Papdi ki dukaan nahi Revdi ki dukaan kay nikat. Dhruva - Bas Kuttooo.... Director - Koi paani laao sir kay liye.....
Dhruva - Naa ji paani to peena hi nahi hai mujhe....pehle ye batao apne Jhoompaad Churan ki factory aur office tum Highway road par nahi khol sakte thay... Director - Kyu Sir? Dhruva - Dekho transport aur Distribution ka kharcha bachta.....zyada contacts bante....shehar aur gaon se barabar touch rehta
.......aur mai dhang se tumhara Ad bol paata....
...Bhai mujhe baksh do...mai tumhari "Laalach ki Lollipop" kay chakkar mey fhas gaya.....mujhe tum log iss ad kay liye 10 crores de rahe ho naa....mujhse 15 le lo....ye ad kisi aur se karva lo......mujhe jaane do. Director - Sir, aap 15 seconds kay liye muskurakar hooth hila dijiye....mai kisi voice over artist se dubbing karva lunga. Dhruva - Ab theek hai....par meri dubbing Raza Muraad, Sudesh Bhosley, type logo se mat karva dena....aawaz mey "Machopan" aur "Boy next door" ka mixture hona chahiye.... Director - Wo mai kahan se manage karun, Sir? Dhruva - Wo tumhari problem hai.....koi Computer Software dekh lo. Ad ki Shooting kay baad Dhruva ka agent usse Sanjay ji ka phone deta hai. Dhruva - Kya hai Baba....chain nahi hai....mai aapse baat nahi karta tha to Anupam ji se phone karvate thay...bade "fu-fu" man ho aap. Mujhe
RC kay liye kuch nahi karna....kya Movie bana rahe hai Multi Starer....BGrade hogi...Flop ho jaayegi....mujhe karni hi nahi hai. Pehle Doga aur Nagraj ki naa kay baad ab Dhruva kay nakhro nay Sanjay ji ki self esteem ka Mahila Gram Udyog waala Murrabba bana diya tha jiski wajah se Sanjay ji ka gussa saatve aasmaan par tha. Unhone baaki superheroes aur characters ki madad se inn teeno ko kidnap karne ka plan banaya.
Bacha Lo : Rest of the the story in a Nutshell -
Badi mushkilo kay baad Doga, Dhruva aur Nagraj ko kidnap kiya jaata hai par iss sab ki wajah se aur film ki shooting mey unka bahut sa paisa kharch ho gaya. Unhe baad mey pata chala ki sabhi Heroes deliberately unhe bina baat kay dukh de rahe thay. Sanjay ji, apne Heroes kay bartaav se buri tarah pareshaan ho chuke thay aur wo almost Bankrupt ho chuke thay. Unki Cars bik gayi. Ab wo Bus se apne office aate thay. Raastey mey Sunil, Mohit, Rahul, Amitabh, jaise posters bina kaam kay Bus mey chadh kar roz unhe tease karte thay. Tab tanng aakar Sanjay ji nay ek naya kirdaar banaya aur apni bachi poonji usmey invest kar di. Unke paas ab bhi RC characters ki joint, loose copyrights thi...jiska unhone khoob isteymaal kiya aur apni pehli comic mey hi sabhi RC Superheroes ko dhar kay peeta. Character Profile Name - Sanjaa
Height - 9'9" Hair - Longer than Anthony and Andrew Symonds. Two Alter Ego - Sajna and Sajan (Split Personality). Allies - Manjaa (Alter Ego - Majnu), T.K. Wahaa, Anupamaa, Manishaa (Alter Ego - Uncle Samaa), Vivekaa (Alter Ego - Viku Maatraa), Bahaduraa, etc. Enemies - All the former Super Heroes of Raj Comics. Kuch hi mahino mey Sanjaa Bharat ka sabse popular Superhero ban gaya. Simat rahi comic industry akele Sanjaa kay dum par tezi se badhne lagi. Apne pehle hi saal mey Sanjaa nay badi comic publications kay saath crossovers kiye. Duniya Sanjaa ki deewani ban gayi. Aage kya hua....kya wo film kabhi ban paayi....kya RC nay aur Superheroes diye...ye to shayad "Bacha Lo!" kay sequel mey pata chale. Iss kahani mey mujhe sabse zyada mehnat karni padi. To agar mauka aur samay mila to kahani aage badhaunga warna... ....Samapt!
14) - DOGA RUN (DOGA KI SHAADI)
(BAARAAT KAAND) AAJ DOGA KI SHAADI HAI JISMEY ESPECIALLY SAAREY HEROES AUR SIDE CHARACTERS INVITED HAI AUR BAARAAT JAA RAHI HAI LOMDI YAANI MONICA KAY GHAR PAR. SAAREY HEROES MASTI MAI NAACH RAHEY HAI. DHRUV - Aaha aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai .......hoooo.. yaar ki shaadi hai mere dildaar ki shaadi hai..... ..Oye Kobi pooch samet kar naacho koi dhang sey naach nai paa raha hai. BANDMASTER KO AK ANJAAN AADMI NAY ROOKA"chi......chi.....aye band waaley bhaiya ye lo hazaar rupaye ki paati.... .....zara 'MONICA O MY DARLING' chala do. BANDMASTER NEY YEH GAANA CHALAYA AUR GAANA CHALTEY HI DOGA JOSH MAI AAKAR GHODI SEY UTAKAR NAACHNEY LAGA. KUCH PALO BAAD. DOGA ZAMEEN PAR LEHRAKA GIR PADA. NAGRAJ - Kya hua doga ko ? PARMANU - Mai to pehley hi mana kar raha tha ki itni mat pi.... ..par ye maana hi nahi.
DOGA - Arrey peet diya re......bheed mai naachtey naachtey kisi ney laat ghusey pail diye. NAGRAJ - Areey ye kagaz kaisa ? mai padhta hu kya likha hai ismey. "DOGEY MAINEY PEETA HAI TUJHEY, LAAT GHUSO SEY BINA KAYDA, ISSEY KEHTEY HAI UTHANA, BHEED KA FAYDA." - Tera Apna Kaalu. DOGA KO GLUCOSE PILAKAR AUR USKEY KAPDEY JHAADKAR BAARAAT PHIR NORMAL HO GAYI. DANCE PHIR SHURU HO GAYA. DHRUV - Areey, Nagraj naach kyu nahi rahey ho ? …..ooooooooo accha areey Band Master wo NAAGIN waali dhun bajao. Shakti nahi dikh rahi, kahan hai wo ? Nagraj - Ladies Sangeet mai thak gayi hogi. INS. SEEL NACHTEY NACHTEY JOSH MAI AA GAYA AUR GALTI SEY USNEY APNI 'MEGAGUN' CHALA DI, DOGA KI GHODI BIDAK GAYI AUR DOGA KO LEKAR DAUD PADI. DHRUV - Areey koi pakdo........roko ussey......doga darna mat hum aa rahey hai.
GHODI DOGA KO GUTTER MAI PATAK KAR AAGEY BADH CHUKI HI. DOGA - Aah.......hay rey.........bhagwan..... ..wo to mujhey mainhole mai rehney aur tehelney ki aadat hai varna aaj.......... INS.steel - Tum theek to ho doga ? DOGA - Aah.......hai rey steel khud ki shaadi nahi ho rahi to doosro ko to karney de. Aaiy bhai koi leke jao issey............ mai shaadi kay din kisi ka khoon nahi karna chahta. PARMANU - Maaf kar do usey doga, ghodi to gayi.... ..lekin koi baat nahi, Doga tum generator waaley rikshay par baith jao. KOBI AUR STEEL KO KONEY MAI NAACHNE KO KEHKAR BAARAAT PHIR SAMANYA HO GAYI. PARMANU - Baarat itni dheerey kyu chal rahi hai,doga :?: DOGA - Aagey meri kutta fauj naach rahi hai naa,isliye. BAARAT TO DHEEREY CHAL RAHI THI PAR HAR HERO POOREY JOSH MAI NAACH RAHA THA, DOGA GENERATOR WAALEY RIKHSHEY PAR SEHMA BAITHA THA. NAACHTEY NAACHTEY PARMANU KA PAIR KUTTA FAUJ KAY SADASYA DWARA KI GAYI POTTY PAR PAD GAYA AUR SAMBHALNEY KAY CHAKKAR MEY USKA HAATH BELT KAY BLAST WAALEY BUTTON PAR PAD GAYA. AUR DOGA KA RIKSHA PARMANU BLAST SEY UDD GAYA.
NAGRAJ - Oooooooh no, Doga to blast mey gayab ho gaya, shukr hai jo generator rikhsey par rakha tha wo abhi tak chal raha hai. THODI DAIR BAAD HAR KOI DOGA KO DHUNDH RAHA THAKOBI- Doga...........Doga tum kahan ho........... ...ho bhi ya chale gaye. Ab doga nahi mil raha iska matlab baarat wapas chali jayegi, nahi mai aisa nahi honay dunga monica se mai shaadi karney ko tayar hu......... ...mai jane ka balidaan de sakta hu. DOGA - Mai yaha hu...........paid par latka hu..... ....Kobi chup kar.......mai shaadi kiye bina nahi marunga........hai ram..........maar daala.....kisi aur ko bhi apni bhadaas nikalni ho to nikal le. ITNA KEHTEY HI ANTHONY KAY KAUWEY PRINCE NAY DOGA KAY UPAR BEAT KAR DI. DOGA - Mujhey maaf kar do, mai court marriage kar lunga........mujhey jaaney do. Agar dost aisey hai to dushmano ki zarurat kisey hai? DHRUV - Doga himmat mat haaro hum log pahunchney hi waaley hai.
DOGARUN (PART-2) BHOJ KAAND -
"Lo abhi to itna naach kar aaye hai aur ladki waalo ney DJ lagwa rakha hai." DOGA - Naaaa...Nahi nacho mat........uskey alawa kuch bhi kar lo. SABHI DJ PAR DANCE KARNEY UTREY HI THAY KI TABHI"kadaaaaaaak kadummm karat dhadaaaam" DOGA - Ab kya hua ? "Wo Ins. Steel kay dance floor par kadam rakhtey hi...........wo toot gaya." Anees - Ya Allah, Amar (steel) chalo, iss sey pehley ki doga kuch kar baithey. Waisey bhi tumhey khana to khana nahi hai. BAARATI AB KHANA KHANEY KAY LIYE BADH CHALEY. SAB LOG CHARO AUR FHAIL GAYE JABKI KOBI PLATE LIYE CHAKKAR KAAT RAHA THA. KOBI - Salad kaha rakha hai ? KOI JAWAB NAHI. NAGRAJ - Lagta hai hum log zyada naach liye, saara khana thanda ho gaya.
SHAKTI - Nirbhay ho jao! Mai abhi apni ushma sey sab garm kar deti hu. Sabsey pehley mai iss stall sey shuru karti hu. SHAKTI NAY USS STALL PAR APNI USHMA CHODDI. PARMANU - SHAKTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII........ye icecream ki stall thi, ab ye garm dhoodh ban gaya hai. NAGRAJ - Loa issey mujhey do, mai issey waste nahi honay dunga. KOBI - Naan aur missi roti khatam ho gayi kya ? KOI JAWAB NAHI. PREETIBHOJ KAY CHAKKAR MAI SUBAH SAY KISI NAY KUCH NAHI KHAYA THA. SAB IDHAR-UDHAR HABSIYO KI TARAH APNI-APNI PLATES LIYE GHUM RAHEY THAY. GAMRAJ ISS AFRA-TAFRI MEY GIR PADA AUR SABKEY PAIRO KAY NEECHEY AANEY LAGA. KOBI NAY USKO UTHAYA. KOBI - Ye kiska Bachcha hai ? GAMRAJ - Mai Bachcha nahi hu. KOBI- Oh, ye kiska Papa hai ? ADRAK CHACHA - Cheetah, itney pareshaan kyu ho ? CHEETAH - Ye baarati heroes khud to tonn bhar kha hi rahey hai, saath mai itney side charcters laaney ki kya zaroorat thi.
JABKI FAST FOOD CORNER PAR NATASHA - Visarpi, tumney Sheena aur Jane kay saath itni dair sey chowmeen ki stall ghair rakhi hai. VISARPI - Tum bhi to Richa kay saath golguppo ki stall par itni dair tak khadi thi......humney kuch kaha......huh! DHRUV - Koi baat nahi Natasha, tum aalu tikki waali stall par chali jao. KOBI - Sweet dish mai kya - kya hai ? KOI JAWAB NAHI. ANTHONY KO NA KHATA DEKH, PARMANU - Kuch lete kyu nahi Anthony ? ANTHONY - Nahi....mera pait kharab hai. PARMANU - Aur Prince....kya khayega ? ANTHONY - Uski aadat sabki plates mai choonch marney ki hai. Dekho tumhara dahi bada le gaya. PARMANU - Oh......no! KOBI - Sirf, vegetarian khana bana hai kya ? KOI JAWAB NAHI. BAIRA - Saab, 4 feet kay 4 maindaak aaye hai khud ko safai karmchari bata rahey hai.
DOGA - Haan.....unhey saara bacha khucha, sada gala khana de dena. ARREY Nagraj ye Dhruv naach kyu raha hai ? NAGRAJ - Zyada kha liya hoga, ab pacha raha hai. KOBI - Haath dhoney kay liye paani kaha hai ? KOI JAWAB NAHI.
DOGARUN (PART-3) TWIST KAAND DOGA - Mujhey Bhook lag rahi hai, dekho sab kaisey chida-chida kar kha rahey hai. CHEETAH - Doga, dulha - dulhan sabkey baad mey khana khaatey hai. DOGA NEY APNI KUTTA FAUJ KAY SADASYO KO BIJLI KATNEY KA INTEZAAM KARNEY KA AADESH DIYA AUR BIJLI KAY KAT TEY HI DOGA BINA PLATE APNA PAIT BHARNEY LAAGA. DOGA (mann hi mann mai) - "he he he...............isey kehtey hai andherey ka fayda." DOGA APNA PAIT BHARKAR WAPAS APNI SEAT PAR AA GAYA. BIJLI DOBARA AANEY PARVISARPI - Nagraj, koi hum sab ladkiyo ko chaid raha tha andherey mey, usney humara khana bhi cheen liya.
NAGRAJ - Tum chillai kyu nahi ? VISARPI - Wo mujhey laga ki.......he he......tum thay. JANE - Mera to usney haath hi pakad liya.... KOBI - Kya......To wo tum thi, tumhara haath to mai roz hi......oooh ye mainey kya keh diya. SABNEY KOBI KO GHAIR LIYA. KOBI - Hey Bheriya devta madad. AAKASHVAANI - "Beta aisey kaam karney kay baad pitney ka pravdhaan hai, Madad ka nahi." KOBI KI PITAI KAY BAAD SAB PHIR SAY SAMANYA HO GAYA KI TABHI DOGA KI CHEEK NIKAL PADI. DOGA - Monica kahan hai, power cut sey pehley to wo yahi thi. SAB ACHAMBHIT KHADEY THAY. DOGA - Ummhu........hu hu hu.......mummy..........meri dulhan bhaag gayi. SHAKTI - Chinta mat karo mai divya drashti sey dekti hu ki Monica kaha gayi. THODI DAIR BAAD, SHAKTI - Monica ak uncle ji kay saath bhaag rahi hai, mai dono ko
pakadkar laati hu. DOGA - Yahi din dekhna baaki tha.........Unkalo kay saath baghna reh gaya tha, Cheetah kya usney "NISHABD" dekh li thi? SHAKTI UNN DONO PAKADKAR LAAYISHAKTI - UUFFFFFFFF.........badey haath pair chala rahey thay ye uncle ji, ak do mukey maarey tab jaakar control kiya inhey. DOGA - Arrey ye to..........ye to.........ARUN JI hai :shock: :shock:. :O *Arun ji is a senior RC forum poster and active fan on few Indian Comics communities. He often posts one liners and spams..he he SAB AK SAATH BOLEY"KYA ARUN JI AAP" SHAKTI - Arrey baap rey mere forum mey to waise hi kum pots hoti hai, Arun ji ko peetney kay baad mera kya hoga. DOGA - Arun ji aapney aisa kyu kiya ? ARUN JI ? Post 1 - {QUOTE DOGA}"Arrey ye to.....................................ye to ARUN JI hai." He he, ha doga mai Arun hi hu. Post 2- {QUOTE DOGA}"Arun ji aapney aisa kyu kiya ?"
Mainey kuch nahi kiya,mainey to bas ak topic banaya tha ki "KYA MONICA KI ZINDAGI MAI KOI AUR LADKA AA SAKTA HAI ?" Tab Monica ney mujhey aaproach kiya aur mainey uskey liye kuch ladkey bhi dhoond liye hai........aagey ki kahani to aap log jaantey hi hai." DOGA - Aap khana vaana kha kar jao..........mere baarey mey kuch galat mat post karna............jaaney do inhey dosto.......he.....he...he. monica tumsey mai baad mai nipat ta hu. ARUN JI MAUKEY KI NAZAKAT KO PEHCHAN KAR KHISAK LIYE. MONICA - Arrey.......Arun ji......kahan jaa rahey hai.......mujhey bachaiye.
DOGARUN (PART - 4) VIDAAI KAAND -
"Happy Birthday to you...........Happy Birthday to dear Doga..........Happy Birthday to you." DOGA - AAAAAAAA.......HUH....Thank you Fujo Baba........Kobi inhey khana khilvao. FUJO BABA - Cake kat gaya kya.......? Dekh mai tere liye kya laaya hu Madhumakhiyo ka tazaa toda hua chhatta......arrey....le.....le na sharma mat. Mujhey to cake khana hai.
KOBI - Aaiye baba yaha sab milta hai......par poochney par koi batata nahi hai. TIRANGA - Doga.......mere dost........kaisa hai tu, mai to theek hu, aagey samachar ye hai ki........ DOGA - Ye letter kyu likh raha hai, seedhey-seedhey bata kaun hai tu. TIRANGA - Doga.........ak to mai waisey hi gussey mai hu.......bahar tera darbaan pooch raha tha ki kaun hai aap RAJ COMICS kay to lag nahi rahey MANOJ kay hai YA TULSI kay................DIAMOND nay naya hero launch to nahi kiya. Aur yaha tu mazak karney laga. DOGA - Mai mazak nahi kar raha hu,kaun ho tum bhai......Captain America kay door kay rishteydaar lag rahey ho. DOGA SE ITNA SUNTEY HI TIRANGA COMA MAI JAA CHUKA THA. KHANA CHODD KAR JAANEY KAY MOOD Mey KOI NAHI THA. USSEY PEECHEY PADI KHALI KURSIYO PAR LITA DIYA GAYA. FUJO BABA(Tiranga ki halat dekh kar) - Isney zyada Cake kha liya kya ? ADRAK CHAHCHA - THEHRO.................RUKO....... TIRANGA (mann hi mann mai) - Aur kitna ruku ? ADRAK CHACHA - Ye shaadi nahi ho sakti............mai ye shaadi nahi honay dunga. DOGA - Kyu.........mai to 42.......mera matlab 21 saal ka ho chuka hu. ADRAK CHACHA - Humarey saath dokha hua hai........Cheetah ney humey dokha diya.........
PARMANU - Accha hua humney khana iss lafdey sey pehley khaa liya ab dete raho dhokhe. CHEETAH - Mainey kya kiya Adrak Chacha ? ADRAK CHACHA- Kya kiya...........arrey tumney kya nahi kiya ? Dahej mey humsey kya kaha tha aur diya kya, AMBASSADOR KA 1948 WAALA PEHLA MODEL, AK CYCLE JISMEY MOTOR LAGI HAI. REFREGERATOR JO SIRF SARDIYO MEY THADAA PAANI DETA HAI. AK AISA YANTRA JO LAGTA T.V. JAISA HAI PAR KAAM RADIO WAALEY KARTA HAI. AIR CONDITIONER JO AGAR 5 MINUTES SEY ZYADA HAWA KO "CONDITION" KAR DE TO WAHA BAITHEY LOG COMA KI "CONDITION" MAI CHALEY JAAYEY HAI. JAIWAR AUR GEHNEY JO DOOR AUR PAAS DONO SEY NAKLI LAGTEY HAI. AUR INN SABHI HEROES MAI SEY KISI NAY 11 RUPAYE SEY ZYADA KA LIFAFA NAHI DIYA HAI. CHEETAH - To ab kya ye shaadi honay ka koi tareka nahi hai ? ADRAK CHACHA - Ek tareka hai, tum Doga ko "GHAR JAMAI" bana lo. CHEETAH - Nahi............mai iss SAAND ki diet ka paisa kaha sey launga. ADRAK CHACHA - Hum char chacha bhi to parehsaan hai iss SAAND se........kuch kamata to hai nahi roz nayi musibat aur le aata hai, din raat sewer ki badboo aur sunghata hai.Iss Doga ka koi hal nahi nikal raha. MONICA - Adrak chacha aap issey wahi chodd aaiye na jahan se laaye thay............saari dikkat solve ho jayegi. ADRAK CHACHA - Haan, ye theek rahega........issey gutter kay paas waaley kuddey daan mai daal detey hai.......chalo sab madad karo.
SABHI UPASTHIT LOG DOGA KO USSI JAGAH PAHUNCHANEY KAY LIYE AAGEY AAYE AUR DOGA KO SEAT SAMET UTTHA LIYA. DOGA - Arrey...........choddo mujhey kaha le jaa rahey ho.......meri to aaj shaadi thi.........accha jaaney to do...... ADRAK CHACHA USS STHAN PAR AA GAYE JAHA "DOGA" YAANI SURAJ KO BACHPAN MAI ANAATH CHHODA GAYA THA. ADRAK CHACHA - Log jagah to yahi batate hai jaha Suraj mila tha but i am not sure ki ussey SEWER mai chhoda gaya tha yaa KUDEYDAAN mai. MONICA - Issey gutter mai daal do.........roz ghumta hai, aadat hai issey. Adjust kar lega. SHOR SUNKAR FIGHTER TOADS SEWER SE BAHAR AA GAYE. FIGHTER TOADS (ak saath) - Hum Doga ko adopt karna chahtey hai. ADRAK CHACHA - Wah.........wah.....lo........Doga tumhey char naye guardians mil gaye.....HUMEY TO CHACHA BOLTEY THAY LEKIN INHEY PAPA BOLNA. CHALO APNEY NAYE PAPAO KO NAMASTEY KARO....... DOGA - "NAMASTEY PAPAO"......UMMMHU HU HU HU.......UMMM....HUUMHUHU CUTTERR - Alley le beta rotey nahi........hum tumhey "ACCHA" khana khilayegey. MONICA - Hello Arun ji.........kaam ho gaya, aap jaldi aaiye. Samapt.