Hello and welcome to "No-one'space" where you and I have a mutual, relatable space where we can share our stories together. Today, I will take you on a tour of my "Life piazza" and tell you about what I've learned in the past quarter of a century. Well, to be honest, I turn 24 and a half by the time this article is published, so don't go and search my age. But seriously, I have some relatable things to say if you're a 25 years old male who has just finished military service and looking forward to his own life. Or if you're a female who just graduated and still figuring out things just like me and still in a shock state. If you're neither or nor just read it anyway, you probably going to have fun. This article will strike many life aspects such as career, self-improvement, fulfillment, mental health, growth, and more. So without further ado, let's take the ride.
1) The Military service parabellum: I was one of many who had a not very easy-going military service. But before I go on with my narrative, I would like to say few things for those who are in the process of joining the military or still in the admission phase. Know very well that this time will pass. No matter how long the days seem or hard your life gets joining the military. I've seen a lot during my service, and at some instants, I thought I will never get past these days, but I did. Time has carried you for a long way, and it will carry you again. Another thing is, that it's okay to cry it's very natural to do. Expect things to go wrong many times while you're there, and that's okay, the best you can do there is to survive. That's your first priority. Now about that narrative, I will give my take honestly after 20 days of getting out of there. Are you ready? I don't necessarily ... hate it anymore. I know that it sounds clichéd, but I really got few things out of it that weren't bad. How? Well, just habits. Yes, habits and routine are the most constant aspects in the military, and I used that. I made a healthy circle of habits that I did every day, and that was my own space there, where I have some authority to change things around me. And that made me feel super and free in that pit.
I took some time to figure this out, but I wished I could've known it way earlier. I chose push-ups, pull-ups, and brushing my teeth to be my everyday habits for the last 6 months in the military. It sounds ridiculous, but those habits I always wished to do more in my life before the military, and I had the chance to do so there. Not only I felt great keeping such good habits, but I had something to look forward to at the end of the day and starting off a new day with a good feeling as well. At this point, I was not counting days to get out or finish. I was counting how many miles I can go with this. And got impressed with me day by day. One more thing to move on from this chapter, the most tested trait inside there is conscience. You can easily slip into a pit where you would be less responsible towards whatever your job is there. In my opinion, this is the worst thing you can come out with. In life, irresponsibility is the worst trait you could ever have. It ruins everything in your life... Relationships, jobs, mental health, physical health, etc. Choose to be more responsible, especially there in the military, and believe me, that's the best you can get out with from there. 2) Work life, career choice, and self-improvement: I have graduated with a bachelor's degree in Engineering, majored in Mechatronics. Spent 5 exhausting years in college, where I had to take an 82-kilometers ride every day going to college. I spent more hours on the road than hours studying or attending lectures! But it's not time to whine about college anymore. I've graduated, I made it. So what the heck I'm doing as a content creator? Here's the thing, work-life and career are way different than college, and I mean WAY DIFFERENT! And the difference is that the inputs you need to consider for choosing a career or a specific job are more complex than the inputs you've to consider to study in college and graduate. First thing, in work in a particular career, you have more responsibility than you would have in college because standards are way higher in the work-life than college-life. There's more commitment and effort you should pay to your job to be sufficient at it. The second thing, you are expected to flourish outside work as well as in your career. It's easier in college because your age priorities are to graduate and get a good grade. While at work, your age
priorities are way more varied, and they are not exclusive to one aspect of your life. It's distributed and not evenly on those aspects. So if you're stuck in that loop of choosing a career, just like I was, I will tell you how I chose mine and that just might help you. To ease the process of such a huge life decision, I will break down the factors you need to consider before choosing a job or a career: Fulfillment while doing your job: Working can be very exhausting and demanding at times. But while working, you can sense a feeling of satisfaction finishing your work, achieving a new target, or solving a problem. These are the simple pleasures that come with your job. They give you satisfaction and fulfill your needs of self-accomplishment as well. If you find what you do in your job interesting and compelling. Then you have got a passion for it, and you can really pursue more within this career. If not, then this is a red flag, and you should really reconsider. Relationships and standards around the workplace: This factor is more job-oriented than career-oriented. But it's very essential as it affects your day-to-day life. The standards around the office, floor, or workplace, in general, should match your standards with some degree of flexibility, of course, to avoid conflict and an unhealthy atmosphere. The nature of your job would definitely define these standards. And that's why it's a crucial factor in choosing your career. Constant urge to develop: Your career needs to be driving you to develop and grow. It should be urging you to read more, know more, enhance your skills, and emerge more fields inside the spectrum of your experience. If you're not obliged to develop, then there is absolutely something wrong. Space for Improvement and promotion: There many careers that don't necessarily shift gears. By that, I mean it's not moving forward. Thus you're not moving forward as well and probably stuck where you're. Careers and companies that provide
constant promotions are expanding rapidly. While companies that don't are slowly declining and running out of business. And that's due to the moving nature of the market. So promotions are good for everyone. Fixed Salary and likability to raise: The Financial component is extremely crucial when choosing a career. And the most significant element in this component is the fixed salary. Don't get me wrong, benefits are a plus and very important, although a fixed salary is what gives you stable ground to stand on. And it will come in handy when you're down or having a rough time. Nevertheless, when you're doing a great job and have made more achievements in your work than what was demanded, then it should be likable to get a raise on your fixed salary. Financial recognition and appreciation can boost your attitude and effort towards your job far beyond your imagination. Obligations and duties outside work: Your own commitments towards your own life decisions outside the workplace are somehow work-related. See, you need your job to help you meet these responsibilities, and according to that, you can sort your priorities and know what could be now and what could be then. Many would see this as a confusing element because you need to sacrifice one thing over the other. But if you look at it with more realism, you can't get everything all at once, though you can get everything one at a time. Also, this will help you know your ultimate priorities, what you need now actually and what could be delayed or just neglected. Not everything you want you need. Let that sink in.
Now, there are things that I didn't mention as factors like health insurance and transportation allowance. These two are a MUST under any circumstances. Both should be provided and should be suitable for the nature of your job.
3) Exercising, Mental health, and self-care: "Mental health…is not a destination, but a process. It's about how you drive, not where you're going." – Noam Shpancer. I consider this as the best way to describe mental health. For those who don't know what is mental health? According to the United Nations definition, mental health is The state of well-being in which an individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the usual stresses of life, can work productively, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community. Unfortunately, many consider mental health is a taboo topic. Mainly because the image reflected on the mentally ill as "crazy" or "strange", which is absolutely false. In a survey taken by The Arab Youth Survey and The World Health Organization by the end of 2020, 66% of people with a mental disorder never seek help. And that's why people should be more aware of mental health and the healthy ways to strengthen their mental health and mental stability. Mental health is the key to more growth, self-improvement, and eventually success. I had suffered from mental disturbances, stress, anxiety, depression, traumas, and irregular sleep patterns. And I took prescribed antidepressants for a while after seeing a psychotherapist regularly. That gave me some perspective, and I would like to share that with you:
Addressing your own problems: Do you have these concerns about yourself? Do you often think you are not good enough? or not really good at all? Do you feel like there are things that you don't like about yourself? Well, surprise, we all do. This, in particular, has made me unable to sleep at night, disturbed and anxious seemingly most of the time. It affected my own perception of myself, and I ended up with self-doubt, less selfawareness, and a false self-image. I felt generally stuck and felt sorry for myself. I could not go forward until I addressed the problems I needed to correct with myself. I sat and broke down every trait about me that I liked, hated, or others hated or liked about me. And it worked! Addressing your problems is a very tricky and complicated process. So let me clear a few things for you. First, you should
validate if this hate/like is coming from the outside atmosphere or genuinely from you. It's necessary to know where this is coming from. Because it could be an unoriginal idea that has been implemented in your head by the surroundings. Another thing is, you have to learn to embrace what is part of your personality, change what is not, and know the difference. Many are victims of false perceptions. They get affected by what people think of them, not knowing that not everything people think is right, and they end up second-guessing themselves. So ask yourself this, would you do such a thing alone with nobody around shame-free? If no, you should take steps to change it. If yes, then why you feel that way about it? And this would give you all the answers you need to know whether it's part of you or just a misperception. Social Media: Social media is connected directly to mental health. A 2018 University of Pennsylvania study found that reducing social media use to 30 minutes a day resulted in a significant reduction in levels of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and sleep problems. It's no surprise social media platforms can affect your mental health and well-being. Since it can distract you, disturb your sleep, and expose you to bullying, rumor spreading, unrealistic views of other people's lives, and pressure. I'm not saying all social media is evil. But our usage of them should not be gone unsupervised. Social media also can drastically reduce your empathy levels as its content can be overwhelming over time. Try to spend less time on social media platforms and spend more time in actual interactions and actual conversations. And you will find yourself more present, aware, compassionate, and empathic. Exercise and meditation: These are my favorite mechanisms to increase my mental health and stability. Not only do they furnish you with clarity of mind and discipline, but they also help you deal with stress, improve your focus, give your self-development progress a physical image, and boost your confidence. Try to work out at least an hour a day and meditate for a sum of 15 - 20 minutes after waking up and before going to
sleep. I know how hard it seems to meditate, especially if you never tried it before. You might feel disappointed at first, but you will be impressed by how it can change your mindset and your perception of your daily life. It gives you the ability to clear your mind and take you out of the anxiety bubble. Just practice it and be more patient.
Thank you for staying along with me to the end of it. I appreciate you coming here and reading all of this. If you found this interesting and helpful, why not spread it around and share it? Stay tuned for more topics and more articles every week! I would love to discuss these topics with you, and I'm looking forward to it. See you next week on No-one'space!
