Separation Anxiety in Kids: Easing the Transition Back to School

WRITTEN BY SAMANTHA TALSMA

As the back-to-school season approaches, many parents may find themselves dealing with their child’s separation anxiety. This common issue, characterized by excessive worry and fear about being apart from loved ones, can be challenging for both children and parents. Understanding separation anxiety and implementing strategies to ease this transition can make a world of difference.

Separation anxiety typically manifests in children as young as 6 months to 3 years, but it can also affect older children, especially during significant changes like starting school or moving to a new grade. Signs of separation anxiety can include clinginess, tantrums, reluctance to go to school and physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches.

Here are some tips to help your child overcome separation anxiety:

1. Establish a Routine: Consistent routines provide a sense of security. Create a morning ritual that is predictable and comforting, such as having breakfast together or reading a short story before school.

2. Practice Short Separations: Gradually getting your child used to being apart from you can build their confidence. Start with brief separations and slowly increase the duration as they become more comfortable.

3. Stay Calm and Confident: Children often pick up on their parents’ emotions. If you appear calm and confident, your child is more likely to feel secure. Avoid showing frustration or anxiety, even if the transition is tough.

4. Encourage Independence: Allow your child to take small steps toward independence. Let them choose their outfit, pack their backpack or set their alarm. These activities help them feel more in control and less anxious.

5. Create a Goodbye Ritual: A special goodbye ritual, like a hug, a kiss or a secret handshake, can provide comfort and consistency. Assure your child that you will be back at the end of the day.

6. Offer a Comfort Item: Let your child “hold onto” you during times of separation by leaving them with something personal, like a scarf, a piece of jewelry or a family photo. This tangible reminder of you can provide comfort and security throughout the day.

7. Use Familiar Scents: Spray a small amount of your cologne or perfume on your child’s clothing or on a small handkerchief they can carry. Familiar scents can be soothing and help your child feel closer to you even when you’re apart.

8. Stay Positive: Talk about the fun aspects of school, like making new friends, playing games or learning new things. Emphasize the positive experiences to shift their focus away from the separation.

Remember, separation anxiety is a normal part of development, and with patience and consistency, most children outgrow it. If your child’s anxiety persists or worsens, consider seeking advice from a pediatrician, school counselor or a child psychologist. With the right support, your child can look forward to a happy and successful school year.

Samantha Talsma is the Outreach Coordinator with Child Care Connections.

Citations:

• “Separation Anxiety and Children” by HealthyChildren.org, AAP.

• “Separation Anxiety Disorder in Children” by Mayo Clinic.

• “How to Help Kids with Separation Anxiety” by Child Mind Institute.