Christmas Our Way…You Can Hit the Highway

WRITTEN BY ALI SCHWEITZER

Family Christmases have always created fond memories for both my husband and me, but in very, very different ways. As a child I remember small Christmases with just my brother and parents, and occasionally my grandma, but they were all quiet. There would be a random Christmas every five to eight years that involved cousins, aunts, uncles and various friends, which always ended in drama, an ER visit or someone leaving because they were mad (these memories are less fond). My husband describes loud, chaotic Christmases that involved all family members and often multiple gatherings with each side of his family (pretty much my nightmare). These differences in our Christmas traditions led to some discrepancies in our holiday planning when we embarked on our lives together.

Our first two Christamases were spent in Alaska, because traveling was too expensive and we couldn’t afford to go home. We had a good mix of both quiet and chaotic: We spent enough time just the two of us mixed in with work holiday parties and medium-sized gatherings with family and friends. We both felt satisfied with the holidays and how they were spent.

This all changed when we moved back to the lower 48 and had kids. We went through a phase of trying to make grandparents happy and embarked on a four-year rotation of holidays between each other’s families. Year one involved Christmas in Bozeman with a newborn and extended family. Year two was Christmas in St. Louis with my husband’s family. Year three was back in Bozeman, just the three of us (my dream). And then year four was in Bismarck with my family. And the cycle continued until Christmas in St. Louis put an end to that in 2019. The trip and family time were great, but the amount of work that went into planning, packing, traveling and coordinating with “Santa” left me tired, anxious and dreading Christmas for years to come. When we returned home my husband and I were tired and worn out, and we agreed that traveling over the holidays with young kids was not our jam. We made the decision then and there that all future Christmases would be spent in Bozeman at our house. Extended family, of course, could join us, but traveling was not going to be a part of our holiday plans. This went over well with our kids. Over the years we always heard that our family Christmases at home, just the four of us, were their favorite. When telling the grandparents, however, things didn’t go quite as well. There were ifs, ands and buts, and all the guilt trips you could imagine, but we held our ground and I could feel the stress leaving my body as thoughts of future Christmases at home floated through my mind.

Now, with two consecutive at-home Christmases under our belt and the third soon on the way, I am happy. There is still stress as the holiday season approaches, but it is manageable and the pit in my stomach isn’t there. And all four of us look forward to the fast-approaching holiday season and making our very own family memories our way, whether quiet or chaotic.

Ali Schweitzer, DC is the owner/chiropractor at Active Family Chiropractic & Wellness, mother of two and relaxing holiday enthusiast.