Keeping it Real

WRITTEN BY BLAIR FJESETH

Are we all breathing a sigh of relief that school is back in session? I’ve been craving consistency and needing a dependable schedule. This last month, in particular, has felt like a hot, sticky slog. My poor minivan has seen better days, the house is ground-zero to a clothes tornado and the “we don’t eat these anymore” discarded snack pile has taken over the pantry.

Alas this brings us to the first day of school. Dropping off the kids brought tears of joy, sadness and a release from the summer grind.

It feels like just yesterday that I dropped off our oldest for his first day of kindergarten. Now, here I am, leaving all three of my children for what will be their only year together in the same school. From fifth grade to kindergarten, I eagerly anticipate an interesting year filled with both new and familiar challenges.

Entering fifth grade is a big milestone in a child’s journey. I’ve heard it’s a time of increased independence, new personal challenges and exciting opportunities. I’m not sure if this is the year he stops holding my hand in public or starts seeing girls differently. The pre-puberty stench started months ago, but what else is in store for us? As our oldest (and therefore the trailblazer) navigates this road, how will we encourage his independence while growing together as a family?

As a middle child myself, I know the role comes with its own unique experiences. Our third-grader is nestled between the trailblazing eldest and the youngest, who often benefits from being the baby of the family. His eagerness to keep up with his older brother is fun to watch, yet I closely monitor it because I want him to face his own challenges and opportunities. After this year he will have to navigate the halls out of his brother's shadow, so this is a critical time for him to start establishing his own identity. I hope he finds his own path with his ideas and strengths, which will build his confidence. At the same time, I selfishly want to protect his innocence from what his fifth-grade brother and friends talk about and start learning. How do we shield him from his brother’s new experiences and nurture his younger side?

And for our little kinder-crusader, what will her road look like? What path will she forge in and outside the shadow of her brothers? Based on her fiery spirit, I assume she will hold her own, no problem. The summer brought forward a new side of her; anxiety centered around all the new firsts she was coming upon. Will her worries dissipate in this first month or will she continue to be nervous and skeptical? It all remains to be seen.

All said, I feel like I’m hitting my parenting stride (knock on wood). By that, I mean I’ve completely given up all expectations and assumptions and am resigned to take each day as it comes, seeing each moment as an opportunity to learn and, most importantly, breathe.

Blair Fjeseth is a working professional and proud Montana mom. You can reach her at blairparker.inc@gmail.com.