The Struggles of Propagtion

The Struggles of Propagation

At some point every plant parent has that fleeting thought that they may try their hand at propagation. My advice: not worth it. Though, that might be because I’m not very good at it. What’s that you say? Why is someone who isn’t good at propagation trying to teach about it? It’s my book, remember? I can do what I want.

Seeds Just plant a garden why don’t cha. Where’d you even get those seeds? Most houseplants don’t drop seeds? What the fuck?

Leaf Cuttings The simplest way of propagating. What you need to keep in mind is that most of the plants you’ll propagate this way will need to have some root nodes on them in order to create roots when seperated from the mother plant. Find the section of the plant you want to propagate and cut it above an established leaf (this encourages the plant to put more leaves out in that exact place). Then you can do 1 of 2 methods: place the cutting directly into some dirt or place it into a glass of water. As long as you keep the soil moist, both methods will encourage root growth. Most Plant Parents buy overpriced glass propagation stations to be just that little bit extra.

Pups Sometimes a mommy plant will spontaneously grow some baby plants off of main root. You’re going to violently and ruthlessly cut these babies off of their mother like some kind of serial killer. The easiest way is to do this when you’re moving the mother plant to a new pot. Brush off as much soil as you can and then locate the root connecting the pup to the mother plant. Use pruning shears (or some scissors, you already know how this goes) and cut through the root. Plant the mother and pup separately and never let them see each other ever again. Ignore the soft crying.

Leaf Removal Unlike houseplants, succulents don’t need an established root node to be propagated off of. That doesn’t mean they’re any fucking easier to propagate though. Take a succulent, pick off a couple lower leaves that look healthy and lay them out to dry. They wont grow roots until they’ve been given time to callous over (they’re bitchy like that). Leave them out for a few days and then lay them on some soil. Water slightly more often than you normally would with a succulent to encourage root growth. Hope for the best. Result in MAYBE 2 or 3 rooting. Then possibly only one of those creating new leaves. In 2 years, you might have a small succulent, congrats.

There are way more methods of propagation, but I don’t understand them because I’m a simpleton. Also, some plants straight up have no simple way of propagation so I wouldn’t even bother. I mean, YOU could bother, but I definitely am not.