What Kind of Plant Parent are You?

Let’s waste some time before we get to the plant stuff and put some people into boxes! Everyone loves to be labeled right? Actually, some people really do (looking at you Zodiac enthusiasts).Do you not fit into one of these very specific types? Sounds like a you problem. Are you trying to tell me my narrow view of the Plant Parent world isn’t factually accurate?

The Natural Hey, what kind of plant is that? Oh, you don’t know. Then how have you taken care of it so well?? You seriously wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a pothos and a philodendron and, honestly, that’s fine. Your plants are somehow thriving, even though you’ve never searched a single thing up about them. I just noticed you put a Spider Plant in cactus soil but it’s completely fine. How do you know when to water or repot these? “Just comes to me.”

The Obsessive One You can’t leave a single function without a plant in tow. Legitimately. All of your money is spent on plants and you don’t know how to stop yourself. And don’t think that I can’t see those scissors in your pocket for cutting clippings off plants you can’t buy. What’s it like living in your own personal jungle? I think your ceiling is going to cave in from the amount of hanging plants you have up right now bud.

Hey, we all know you’re trying your best. It’s OK that your plants never last more than a week. May I suggest watering them more than once? No, no of course you know that! That one over there just looks a bit . . . dry. The Plant Killer

It’s possible to be multiple Plant Parent types at once. Maybe you’re an Obsessive Plant Parent and an Educated one! Or an Obsessive Plant Killer, aka a plant serial killer. Get some help.

The Educated One You are the opposite of the Natural, and your plants are doing just as well (maybe even a little better). You know all the names of your plants (common, scientific, and the ones you gave them) and they are on a precise watering schedule. Every type of soil, fertilizer, and tool required for plant parenthood can be found in your possession. Wow, this propagation station is beautiful. And how did you fit a greenhouse in this apartment?

The Casual One

You don’t like to overthink it. You have a set few plants that you love, you make sure they get the right amount of light, water them regularly, and they reward you by being plants. It’s definitely not boring at all!