IoW Rally
MOD Madness s Gareth Brown in Brighton!!
CIES OF THE SPE
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SARY VER NI 19 1989
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Scootering ering through the years
No.400 October 2019
£4.30
th
60 Years
of the S2 Lambretta L
Atllantic Go old custom Vesp pa ■ Oddballs Rally Report LM ML Factory Closure Pt2 ■ Kev Walsh & The JetSet ■ Te ech Torque ■ Readers’ Riides ■ Show Us Your Scooters ■ Letters ■ S Scootter T Trader d ■ Events
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Editor: Dan Clare Email: dan@scootering.com Publisher: Tim Hartley Publishing director: Dan Savage Designer: Chris Abrams Picture desk: Paul Fincham, Jonathan Schofield Production editor: Mike Cowton General queries and back issues: Tel: 01507 529529 24hr answerphone Lines open Mon-Fri 8.30am-5pm help@classicmagazines.co.uk www.classicmagazines.co.uk Archivist: Jane Skayman 01507 529423 Email: jskayman@mortons.co.uk Subscription: Full subscription rates (but see page 34 for offer): (12 months 12 issues, inc post and packing) – UK £49.20. Export rates are also available – see page 34 for more details. UK subscriptions are zero-rated for the purposes of Value Added Tax. Subscription manager: Paul Deacon Circulation manager: Steven O’Hara Marketing manager: Charlotte Park Commercial director: Nigel Hole TRADE ADVERTISING Gary Thomas – gthomas@mortons.co.uk Tel (01507) 529417 Stuart Yule – syule@mortons.co.uk Tel (01507) 529468 Divisional advertising manager: Zoe Thurling 01507 529412, zthurling@mortons.co.uk Group advertising manager: Sue Keily ADVERTISING DEADLINES The advertising deadline for the next issue of Scootering (November 2019) is Thursday, October 3, 2019 On sale in newsagents Thursday, October 24, 2019 SCOOTERING (USPS:020-245) is published monthly by Mortons Media Group Ltd, PO Box 99, Horncastle, Lincolnshire LN9 6LZ USA subscriptions are $60 per year from Motorsport Publications LLC, 7164 Cty Rd N #441, Bancroft WI 54921. Periodical Postage is paid at Bancroft, WI and additional entries. Postmaster: Send address changes to SCOOTERING, c/o Motorsport Publications LLC, 7164 Cty Rd N #441, Bancroft WI 54921. 715-572-4595. chris@ classicbikebooks.com SCOOTERING is published by: Mortons Scooter Media, a division of Mortons Media Group Ltd © 2019 All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be reproduced in any way without the written permission of the publisher. ISSN 0268 7194 Distribution: Marketforce UK Ltd, 5 Churchill Place, Canary Wharf, London, E14 5HU. Tel: 0203 787 9001. Printed by: William Gibbons & Sons, Wolverhampton
The Professional Publishers Association Member
Welcome to the 400th edition of Scootering!
T
his month's a ‘big one’ for Scootering magazine, so we’ve included a few rather poignant articles, images and references throughout the edition, to help draw it all together. I hope you enjoy reading this edition as much as I've enjoyed putting it together. Amidst the work the team and I have put into creating this celebratory edition, I took a little time out to reflect on the fast-paced digital age we are all now engulfed in. As I pondered the various digital platforms, from dot.com booms through social media, one thing which stood out like a sore thumb is the poisonous element of Facebook. When I thought of all the websites which popped up, way back when, as various businesses first got a chance to share info and sell services/ products over the web, I viewed that in a positive light. Despite owning a website, then costing a fortune, it was a progressive step. As things moved into the ‘My Space’ era, individuals and groups became more connected, so again, I saw this as a positive. Then came the forums, and by heck… there were plenty of them! They were fabulous for clubs, enthusiasts, businesses and individuals alike. As you are no doubt aware, I founded the Scooterotica forum, and it quickly became the UK’s No1 classic scooter forum. The information, discussion, friendship and cameraderie which came out of it was fabulous. To be fair, even the arguments and minor conflicts were largely constructive and interesting, or at least entertaining. Anyone remember the ‘Sticky vs Randall’ saga? Brilliant. Now Instagram and Twitter have a popular place in the digital arena, I don’t care for them myself, but many do. They serve a function at least. However, Facebook… well,
that’s a different beast altogether. I’ve never seen anything which has so many positive aspects to it, be used (and abused) for such a large amount of vile, hate-spreading, vindictive, small-minded, disinformation and abuse. The arguments, opinions and comments that reel down the screen like pre-soiled toilet roll are just mindboggling. The topic could be a post about politics, or which way round the toilet paper goes on its holder, the resulting nonsense (and usually abuse) is always the same. So when hordes of the scooter community, with all its illustrious history, rich tapestry and many facets, get online (in the usual tribal manner) it's often soul destroying to read. My hope is that, outside the virtual screens of negativity, Scootering magazine offers readers a refreshing oasis of joy amidst a raging digital storm. A real, tangible, solid, familiar and reliable platform, which leaves the digital discourse firmly outside the door. I view the mag as an old friend, to be picked up and put down when the mood takes me, something to get lost in for a while, to escape the online madness… and, for me, it works. I hope it does for you too. The last thing I want to mention, before you dive in and enjoy this special 400th edition, is the one-year anniversary of the death of scooter legend Kev Walsh. It’s been a pleasure to run the 'Kev's Chronicles' series, and though it’s soon ending, we still have a few cheeky secrets up our sleeves yet to be unleashed… so keep your eyes peeled on that front. Anyway, that’s enough of my ramblings, it’s another belter this month… so please enjoy this, the 400th edition of Scootering magazine in particular. Dan
S C O O T E R I N G WA S B R O U G H T T O Y O U W I T H T H E H E L P O F. . .
Stu Smith
Vespa & Lambretta owner, scooter obsessive, amateur home mechanic, rally goer, Mod sympathiser, music lover and general all-round good egg. He writes your rally reports, be nice to him.
Nik Skeat
Vespa P-range obsessive, welltravelled rally rider since the 80s, founder of the notorious Scooterboy World forum. He’s also a brilliant beer-brewing bearded Scootering feature writer.
Paul Green
Vespa & Lambretta scooter enthusiast, BSSO professional and general good egg. Our Paul has a long history of scootering both on the road and on the track, with the breakdown bills and crash scars to prove it.
Stuart Owen
LCGB ‘life member’, 100mph Lambretta Club owner and scooter restoration expert to boot. Scooter rider, rally-goer, restorer and author. Reaches the parts other scooter journalists just can’t reach.
Dave Oakley
Riding and building scooters since 1983, Dave has been a contributor to Scootering since the 90s. His builds include chops, cutdowns, street-racers, autos and the most infamous custom of the 80s!
Big Stan
80s scooterboy turned long-distance rider. Be it local, national or international, he’ll ride anywhere in his quest to bring you the tastiest scooters, best roads, trade interviews and hidden gems.
Sarge
With over four decades of riding, rally-going and competing on both Lambretta and Vespa scooters under his belt, this former Freddie Mercury lookalike is still going strong. He’s a top DJ too, don’tcha know.
CONTENTS 22
Rally Report: IoW
The Isle of Wight Rally is both the largest and most commercial rally in the world, but in Stan’s view it’s still one of the best.
28
Rally Report: OddBalls
74Club Do’s & Events
Your essential guide to the scene – What, Where & When!
Scootering Words & 78Sounds
82
Rally Report: Brighton Mod Rally
For those that prefer to get on their scooters and actually ride them, OddBalls rally provides a real-life nostalgia trip in the real world.
August Bank Holiday weekend is, invariably, the most profitable, with thousands upon thousands of scooterists descending on the muchloved south coast resort of… Brighton!
32Mailbox
88Dealer Profile: MSC
Readers’ letters, laughs, feedback and fury – get it off your chest man!
34
Subscriptions
Get your mag delivered to the door, earlier than newsstands, and save money… cool. Plus – gain access to all the benefits of the ‘Scootering Extra’ subs-club.
36Show us your scoots!
The best of our readers’ rides as sent in by you.
42
400 and not out!
As Scootering magazine celebrates its 400th edition, we take a nostalgic look back to the very first issue to see how much things have changed.
50
A quick one
52
LML - Then and Now
Gareth Brown, former editor of Scootering, takes a look back in time as well as giving his opinions on the scene in more recent times. Last month we broke the news that LML’s factory was being dismantled. This month we take a look at both the good and bad times.
58Feature Scooter: DTC The original Rosa Bianca
4 | SCOOTERING | OCTOBER 2019
16
The best of Scootering words and music as reviewed by Nik and Sarge.
It’s one of the best-known names in British scootering, and as Stan discovered, Midland Scooter Centre is still setting standards.
Torque: Lambretta 92Tech clutch issues
Keeping a Lambretta in original factory condition is saving its history for future generations. Customising it will mean the history is gone forever, so which to choose?
100BSSO Double bill
The best of all things fast and furious from Pembrey and Three Sisters.
Scooter: 104Feature Wigan Casino
There are plenty of Northern Soul themed scooters, but the theme of Wigan Casino, ‘The Heart of Soul’, is probably one of the most inspirational and thought-provoking.
115Scooter Trader Ride: High 128Quick Revvin’ Fun
Sales and Classifieds section.
Some scooters cry out to be ridden hard and as Stan discovered, this RB-powered Lambretta is more than willing to oblige.
IoW Rally
OFTHESPECIES THEEVOLUTION
with former editor
MOD s Madness
Gareth Brown
Report!
in Brighton!
SARY VER NI 1989
- 2019
BYGARETH
E D I TI
BROWN
O
St i l
l
l Specia th £4.30
For over a decade it was one of the UK’s most popular custom Vespa scooters and now Atlantic Gold is back, reinvented for a new era.
n M g Edition Maga
zine!
ng Lookibaack ering Scootering through the years
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UK Off-sale date – 24/10/2019
Scooter: 16Feature Atlantic Gold
Part 10 of our homage to scooter legend Kev Walsh. After decades of hard work, building an institution up was a proud achievement, but having it all taken away was a bitter pill to swallow.
No.400 October 2019
The upfront section with all the latest news, views and product reviews!
64Kevin’s Chronicles
AN
06
Kickstart
N
A warm welcome to the 400th edition of Scootering.
featured in Scootering’s first edition. Four hundred magazines and 34 years later the breed is still strong.
US PLU
Welcome letter from the 03Editor
60 Years
of the S2 Lambretta L
pa ■ Oddballs Rally Report old custom Vesp JetSet Atllantic Go d ■ Events Trader ■ Kev Walsh & The ter T Scoote ■ Letters ■ S ML Factory Closure Pt2 LM des ■ Show Us Your Scooters Rid ech Torque ■ Readers Te
only Never miss from £20 an issue Subscribe today on page 34 ■
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58 WWW.SCOOTERING.COM | 5
KICKSTART SCOOTER WORLD 2020
More trophies, more monetary prizes!
SCOOTER WORLD TROPHY LIST 2020 Below is a list of the entry categories for 2020. All scooters on display in the show are eligible for judging, but obviously some will only fall into certain classes.
BEST SCOOTER IN SHOW
plus £100 and 1 year’s mag subscription BEST SCOOTER DISPLAY plus £100 and 1 year’s years mag subscription
The Th Scooter S t World W ld halls h ll return t to t Newark County Showground over the weekend of January 11-12, 2020 to form their part in the Carole Nash sponsored Classic Bike Guide ‘Winter Classic’ event. Since its inception in 2013, Scooter World has expanded over the years, culminating in 2019 with what was arguably one of the largest scooter shows in the UK with 145 scooters on display. Plans are already moving forward for 2020 and this includes the expansion of the Scooter World Custom Show with more entry categories – plus a monetary prize to go with every single trophy!
L LEVELLING THE PLAYING FIELD
One of the criticisms we often hear about scooter custom shows is that it’s always the same custom scooters doing the rounds and winning the ‘Best Custom’ trophy (obviously they win it for a reason). Not wanting to dampen the enthusiasm of someone who has entered their pride and joy for the first time, we are proposing a split in the ‘Custom’ class by breaking it into two categories – ‘Best New Build Custom’ and ‘Best Old Skool Custom’. Please make us aware which one you’re entering when returning your entry form (incorrect declarations will be disqualified).
BEST NEW BUILD CUSTOM (recently built custom scooter that hasn’t won any trophies yet) plus £50 and 1 year’s mag subscription BEST OLD SKOOL CUSTOM (custom scooter that has previously won trophies) plus £50 and 1 year’s mag subscription BEST LAMBRETTA plus £50 and 1 year’s mag subscription BEST VESPA plus £50 and 1 year’s mag subscription BEST SCOOTER STREET RACER plus £50 and 1 year’s mag subscription BEST ORIGINAL LOOKING plus £50 and 1 year’s mag subscription BEST ENGINEERED plus £50 and 1 year’s mag subscription BEST MOD-STYLE plus £50 and 1 year’s mag subscription BEST RAT/RUSTO plus £50 and 1 year’s mag subscription SCOOTER WORLD SPECIAL AWARD plus £50 and 1 year’s mag subscription 10 ‘Highly Commended’ rosettes also to be awarded
WANT TO ENTER YOUR SCOOTER? An online entry form can be found at the following link: www.newarkclassicbikeshow.com/privatebooking Get your entry in now!
SCOOTERS INDIA, ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST? As we continue to showcase the final days of LML’s factory in Kanpur, it seems that news from Lucknow isn’t much better. If local news reports are to be believed, it appears that the Government of India’s patience with the loss-making concern is all but exhausted. Although it’s decades since complete scooters rolled off the production line, the factory has continued to produce spares and three-wheelers. Having failed to secure a private buyer, it seems the Ministry of Finance may order the factory to cease operations in the very near future. The Government, which owns 97.7% of SIL shares, has a
6 | SCOOTERING | OCTOBER 2019
preferred option of selling off the plant and machinery, but has also indicated that it may be prepared to dispose of ‘non core assets’ to improve cash flow. A report has been submitted to the Department of Investment and Public Asset Management and a decision is expected shortly. Although SIL has always struggled to be profitable, its recent problems are part of a broader downturn in the Indian automotive sector. With the Government’s patience running low and investors unlikely to gamble on an industry in decline, the future for SIL’s Lucknow plant doesn’t look bright. Thanks to Manish Mittal of UniAuto for the update.
LEGAL Q&A This information is provided by Stephen Hattersley of WildWood Legal, a firm of solicitors specialising in claims for injured scooterists. Stephen, a qualified solicitor for 25 years, has been riding scooters for over 30 years, and has acted for injured riders across the UK. He knows the tricks and pitfalls that insurers use and pulls no punches in his dealings with them. He rides to work every day and understands the challenges you face out there. Q. I was knocked off my bike and badly injured. I am self-employed so I am not going to earn anything for a while. I know claims take a long time. How am I going to pay my bills in the meantime? A. Sorry to hear that and hope you recover soon. The good news is that your solicitors could and should be asking the defendant’s insurers for what is called an ‘interim payment’. This is a payment made early in the claim in cases where liability is clear-cut, the injuries are significant and there is a
need for money on the victim’s part. It should be enough to tide you through the early stages whilst you are unable to earn any money. If the claim takes longer than expected, further requests can be made for additional payments. It is not uncommon at all for there to be several during the lifetime of a complex case. If you need advice on a scooter-related legal question, email stephen@ wildwoodlegal.co.uk. The best Q&A will be published in Scootering magazine in confidence.
STYLE FROM BIKE TO STREET
ELUSIVE ‘LENBRETTA TWIN’ CAPTURED Last month we featured a report on the final event to be held at the former Len’s of Shipley site. As part of that report Stan appealed for any photos of the elusive ‘Lenbretta Twin’. Built years before the factory prototype was uncovered and when Tino Sacchi could only dream of bringing the technology to market, this home-built 400cc oddity was cruising the streets of Shipley. Plagued by overheating problems and in the absence of modern CAD engineering or computer modelling the project fizzled out, becoming lost in the midst of time. One of those to recall the twin is Lee Clift, who took these photographs during a visit to Len’s in the early 1980s. Admittedly they aren’t the best quality, but they may just be the only surviving images of this Yorkshire legend.
STEALTH HOODIE £119.99 BLACK / S - 5XL
T 0117 971 9200 E info@thekeycollection.co.uk W www.thekeycollection.co.uk
WWW.SCOOTERING.COM | 7
KICKSTART OXFORD HOLWELL JACKET This classic styled wet-waxed cotton jacket is produced by British Millerain, a company which harks back to a day when goods were transported by wind-powered ships. Their sails were made from cotton, which was waxed to protect against the ravages of the sea. The material consequently found its way into the clothing which sailors wore to protect themselves from the same weather. Respectful of the material's heritage, designers have employed traditional tailoring methods to assemble the outer garment. For example, pockets are pleated in order to lie flat when empty, but provide space to expand when full. The collar and accompanying belt are designed and cut in three dimensions, rather than as simple, flat panels, and the resulting fit is spot on. The triplestitching employed in all the key and critical impact areas are both pleasing to the eye and highly protective. The result is a highly protective jacket, which looks and feels great. Inside, it has a breathable membrane for added protection against the weather and a classic Oxford lining. The collar features corduroy facing on the inside, as do the cuffs, adding to comfort
levels. It has a big YKK zipper at the front, hand-warmer pockets and a short connection zip for adding pants. There is provision for a back protector of your choice, and CE Level 1 protectors to shoulders and elbows as standard. The whole jacket is CE approved to level A. Available in red or green. www.oxfordproducts.com £199
MALOSSI REED VALVE CRANKCASES
The Malossi VR-One MHR crankcase, for the Vespa PX200, provides the ideal foundation for your next performance reed valve engine. Manufactured in Italy, this high-quality
crankcase has been designed to withstand increased power with reinforcing webbing in key locations, and is supplied with main bearings for the flywheel side and for the drive side, which both use balls instead of rollers, and offer greater radial load tolerance and an additional resistance to axial loads, which is not possible with the original roller bearings. Dedicated seals are also supplied. The transfer ports have been machined to ‘match’ the range of Malossi PX200 cylinder kits, saving both time and money on porting work. Supplied with a reed valve manifold suitable for carburettors up to 30mm in size which has been designed for a much larger reed block (included) that is equivalent in size to a 6 petal
NEW PINASCO 122CC CYLINDER KIT This kit is a more modern and performance based reinterpretation of the historic 122cc model for Vespa Small Frames. Many changes have been made to the new cylinder kit, starting with the number of ports from 3 to 7, a larger exhaust port, the 8-stud head and the new high-performance single-ring piston. The new Pinasco 122cc cylinder kit combines classic with modern, and thanks to the displacement of under125cc, it allows homologation in countries where possible. Product Name: Cylinder Kit 122cc Item: 25030790 Suitability: Vespa Small Frame More info: www.pinascostore.com
8 | SCOOTERING | OCTOBER 2019
block. Gone are the M7 bolts securing the crankcase halves together, and in their place M8 allen bolts now feature. Malossi have also redesigned the mating face to remove the need for a central gasket, (sometimes a cause of problems on high power motors), allowing the use of a gasket sealant in its place. The crankcase is supplied with engine mounting rubbers, cylinder studs, crankcase bolts, drain plugs and washers, reed valve inlet manifold, crank bearings and oil seals. With Malossi’s heritage in Vespa tuning, the new crankcases are sure to be a very popular starting point for performance engine builders looking for excellent reliability, with an outstanding quality of finish. More info: www.ve-uk.com
KICKSTART WAX ON, WAX OFF
MALOSSI GEAR KIT
After the journey home from the Isle of Wight, Stan’s GTS seemed to have half the insect population of the south baked on to his legshields. An ideal opportunity to try Silkolene’s ‘Wash Off’ cleaner. This promises to ‘rapidly remove all types of dirt from metals and plastics with minimum effort’. Although Silkolene suggest spraying from the bottle and then hosing off, Stan used the traditional sponge and bucket method. With only a few seconds’ soaking time, Wash Off made light work of all the accumulated debris, including one insect that must have been the size of a small sparrow! Although it’s not a true degreaser along the lines of Gunk, the spray also made light work of accumulated two-stroke oil on his GP, together with some fairly heavy brake dust deposits. We’ve still to try their silicone ‘Pro-Prep’ spray, which is suggested as a follow on to maintain a ‘factory fresh finish’, but for now Wash Off is highly recommended. Approx £7.50 per litre www.silkolene.com
With many owners of Vespa GTS/Primavera/Sprint 125 iGet models finding that they are hitting the inbuilt rev limiter, Malossi have developed an upgraded gear kit to achieve better performance than standard. The gear kit utilises Malossi’s H.T.Q. process, developed using their 20 years’ experience in manufacturing gear sets for competition and road scooters. Featuring straight-cut teeth to minimise losses through friction, this, in turn, helps to reduce the stresses placed on the gear supports within the gearbox. The new gear kit has a tooth count of 15-41 with a splined coupling specifically machined to mate with the existing gearbox assembly. More info: www.ve-uk.com
SAD LOSS 'Yate and Sodbury' Scooter Clubs, and the Bristol scooter scene, have sadly lost a well-known and well-loved Mod and Scooterist Duncan Evans, who passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on September 2. Duncan was well known in the area and on the scootering scene for his love of all things Mod, and making sure his Lambretta and Vespa scooters were always polished and immaculate, suitably and tastefully adorned with lights and mirrors. He had a zest for life and laughter,
10 | SCOOTERING | OCTOBER 2019
lighting up any occasion, and his death leaves a big void for his partner Sue, his family, friends and club members.
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It’s time to say thank you When Scootering magazine reached the milestone of 400 editions it was a proud moment in its history. We would like to say thank you.
B
efore our launch in1985 the only way of knowing what was happening, or so it seemed, within the scooter scene was by way of Scootermania magazine. I remember quite often someone would get hold of a copy on a rally or from a scooter-related shop and bring it down the pub on club night. By the time it had been passed round and had beer spilled on it, there wasn't much of it left to read if you actually got the chance before closing time. It was the vital link connecting us all with what was happening, or which dealer to use by way of the adverts inside. When news broke that there would be a national magazine available from the local newsagent, it was a breath of fresh air. Not that there was anything wrong with what was on offer already, just the ease at the way you would be able to source important information in the future. When it did hit the newsstands it was a revelation. Not only did you have up-todate information on rallies and events, but reports on them as well. Throw in features on the latest custom scooters, and editorial knew they were on to a winner. Starting off as a bi-monthly publication, the wait for the next edition was agonising at times. Club members would bring their own copy to the weekly meet sometimes, everyone possessing one. It didn't matter as each page would be read in fine detail and then opinions shared of what had been written. The magazine had the power and ability to bond scooterists together. Slowly, over time, the magazine’s content altered as editors and writers either left or joined. What remained the same was the format and layout, which were proving to be a winning formula. So much so that it is similar even 34 years later. Things have changed dramatically over that time, so there are differences in how or what is reported, that taken aside are the original values of why the magazine was perceived
12 | SCOOTERING | OCTOBER 2019
to be different. Perhaps that’s why it still going strong, because it can still connect with its readership. There have been plenty of rivals come and go over that time, but competition makes you stronger. Let’s not forget the battle against the internet and social media that have changed the way we source our information. Any magazine, regardless of its subject matter, has had to fight this modern revolution and some, in the end, have succumbed to it. Luckily there is one advantage a printed magazine has on its side. Amazon with the ‘Kindle’ tried to make us all see it a different way by placing books in an online format. While it works for some it sort of doesn't exist as such. Perhaps in the future we all will
to decide to accept. Now it was my time to switch from being in front of the camera to being behind it, feeling very honoured in the process. Ironically, I’ve just finished my 40th edition of being actively involved, so a tenth of the magazine’s illustrious life. Over that time I have met many people and characters who grace the world of scootering, many of whom are happy to share memories and tell their story. Without sounding patronising, all of them are vitally important because without them there would be nothing to tell, whether it's a dealer showcasing a new product, someone building a custom scooter, a promoter putting on a rally, or those in attendance. Each and every person plays a vital part within the scene. The magazine's job is to collate all that information and present it in a suitable manner for the reader to absorb. That's why a magazine is so vital and, in my opinion, it is required. Not everyone who owns a scooter reads Scootering magazine, but on the other hand not everyone is on social media either. It's a combination of everything that makes it all work. That is why everyone at Here's to the next 400 editions... Scootering magazine does the job to the best of their ability to give the reader the information they want. read this way, but trying to change So to all the people who have told me hundreds of years of tradition isn’t going their story and all those that have helped to happen overnight. The majority of with creating them, may I say thank you, people, whatever they are reading, still because without you, it couldn't happen. want a physical copy in their hands. Most importantly though, is the My own personal involvement, apart magazine itself. Though sometimes people from buying it, of course, was by having a may think it’s not required, I bet at some scooter featured in the late 1980s. When time over the last 400 editions all of us that happens it makes you feel proud you have either read an article or looked up have achieved something, a feeling felt by information or an advert within it. If you many owners over the years. As time went have, then it's done its job successfully. by my involvement grew bigger by being a Though over time editors and contributors source of contributing material feature have come and gone, and ownership writers often used. On the very odd changed hands, the magazine is still occasion I even got the chance to write a there, in high demand, and hopefully piece, even though it hardly got noticed. always will be, as none of us are bigger When the offer of being a regular feature than the magazine itself. writer was put my way it didn't take long
‘Type-Two Fun’ The sort of ‘fun’ which is actually only fun at a later date,, a much later date!
Y
ou know the kind of thing… you’re riding to a destination and it’s raining. It’s raining really heavily, that is until it turns to sleet, anyway. Your visor is steamed up, the rain has long since gone through those jacket seams and you’re amazed at how wet your feet can be whilst they are supposedly hidden behind your leg shields. The gloves that you bought because they were ‘waterproof’ turn out to really just be showerproof (at a push). You can’t see a thing through the visor so you’re riding with it partially raised, but now your eyes are streaming and sore from the wind. Your journey is seemingly endless and the whole situation just seems grim, really grim. There’s no other word for it really. The miles pass slowly and the traffic gets ever slower. Perhaps stopping for a coffee would help get you warmed up and more lively for the next 60 or so miles. Pulling up at a McDonalds for a break, you just want to go to the toilet, but you’ve got to battle a ‘waterproof’ layer, then get your jacket off, followed by those bib trousers that seemed a good idea at the time to block those draughts on your back. Carrying your helmet and sopping wet gloves to the toilet and then battling all those layers is getting you pretty hot under the collar as you drip water everywhere and leave a pool behind you. Then at the counter you’re fumbling trying to get a card out your wallet with those cold, red fingers that have actually started to shrivel up as they have been wet for so long. Good job the vinyl seats in McD’s are waterproof, as you leave that trail of water everywhere. The napkins you try to dry your visor with are pretty useless as your fingers go through it as breaks up into a mush when it’s wet. I bet you can’t wait to put that soaking wet helmet back on in 20 minutes’ time, followed by easing those cold, wet gloves back on over your now warm fingers! So yep... that’s definitely Type-Two Fun. It is most definitely NOT fun at the time, most definitely not. No. But as time
14 | SCOOTERING | OCTOBER 2019
Oh how we laughed when we realised it had holed a piston in the passes, weeks later, you’re in the sunshine outside the pub regaling that dreadful journey to your pals over a pint. Even managing to now look back and laugh about it! In fact, it will probably become like the proverbial ‘fisherman’s tale’ as it goes along. It was quite an adventure that journey really, the stuff of legends. Of course, there is the other Type-Two Fun when the journey becomes a catalogue of errors, disasters and breakdowns. Yes, for sure that time when the rear suspension snapped, sending you across two lanes of motorway to the central reservation with your heart in your mouth and a stain in your underwear. Three hours waiting on the hard shoulder for a recovery to arrive, only to find they are taking you six miles down the road where another vehicle will come and recover you home. It’s going to take hours. Social media allows you to share the pain, but the guy who lives down the road and can bring you a rear shock on any other day is away on holiday. Bugger. Or maybe it’s that time you holed your piston on that moors road absolutely miles from anywhere, for no obvious mechanical reason. Your mate can come
rain i ht iin the rain. h , on a ddarkk night, middle of nowhere
and pick you up in the van when he finishes work… in another four hours. Once he’s found you that is, being as even you’re not entirely sure exactly where you are. Oh yes, and your phone has just 18% battery power left in it. Deep joy! Still, it could be worse (maybe). So yes, Type-Two Fun is really not fun at the time… only later on, usually ‘from the warm fuzzy glow of your favourite armchair and when holding a beer’ amount of later. The more you ride, the more chances you have to experience Type-Two Fun. Some people get the chance to experience it more than other people, or at least that’s how it feels to you. Or perhaps you’re the one who always seems to be experiencing it. People riding certain types of scooter get to experience it more often. Lucky devils. Then there is always the chance that you could have more than one person in your group experiencing Type-Two Fun on the same journey. Just when you think your fun is over, someone else starts to experience it too. That’s when the journey really becomes the stuff of legend and you are not sure whether to laugh or cry at any given time. It could be fun… just not right now.
Pure Gold
16 | SCOOTERING | OCTOBER 2019
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