Burn Magazine Issue 6 by Mike Shaw

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BURN LUSIVE INTERVIEW! ROB ZOMBIE: DEADMAN TALKING! EXC

THE MAG WITHOUT FEAR

BURN MAGAZINE ✪ ISSUE 6 BLACK KNIGHT PUBLISHING JANUARY 2006 ✪ £3.40

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BURN ROB ZOMBIE: DEADMAN TALKING! EXCLUSIVE

INTERVIEW!

THE MAG WITHOUT FEAR

Cover Photo ✪ Wayne Herrschaft Ozzfest 2005 Issue 6 ✪ January 2006 Burn Magazine PO Box 350, Dover, Kent CT17 0WF U.K. www.burnmag.co.uk t: 0778 476 1772 ISSN: 1740-6382

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“I don’t take shit, I bow to no one, Don’t pledge allegiance to flags, I burn ‘em” Love Destruction/Warrior Soul

black dye , white noise

The Cartel: El Diablo ✪ Sion Smith editor@burnmag.co.uk Deputy Editor/Reviews Editor ✪ Kahn Johnson kahn@burnmag.co.uk Movies Editor ✪ Mike Shaw mike@burnmag.co.uk News Editor ✪ Kristian Barford kristian@burnmag.co.uk Radio/Clubs Editor ✪ JJ Hagger radio@burnmag.co.uk Live Editor/Staff Writer ✪ Andy Lye andy@burnmag.co.uk Staff Writer ✪ Louise Steggals louise@burnmag.co.uk Games Editor ✪ Marty Brear marty@burnmag.co.uk Design ✪ Sion Smith Rob Zombie feature design ✪ Ian Husbands

Photography Crue: Chiaki Nozu, Wayne Herrschaft, Dijana Capan, Duncan Bryceland, Andrew Lopez-Calvete, Mick Rockster.

Contributors: Roger Lotring, Sharon Edge, Seb Willet, Chrissie Miller, Graham Finney, Simon Gausden, Zodiac Mindwarp, Andrea Perry, Katie Roberts, James Machin, Tom Canning, David Lillywhite, Ida Langsam, John McMeiken, Zodiac Mindwarp, Joe Matera, Marc Shapiro, Andrew Bennet.

Advertising ads@burnmag.co.uk

Subscriptions & Back Issues subscribe@burnmag.co.uk backissues@burnmag.co.uk

Syndication & Licencing syndication@burnmag.co.uk

Published by:

Despite my love of contact sports, it would be pretty dumb of me to expect you to know what I’m talking about here, but what the hell - it never used to matter! About 10 years ago, there was an episode of WWE - WWF as it was then - that aired. If I recall correctly, the rumour mill had been red hot for weeks that something bad was going to happen to the Undertaker - there was going to be a change! A lot of wrestling people typically don’t like change much, but once you get used to it, it usually turns out that the change is for the better - but I digress. The match starts. The crowd goes wild - I forget who his opponent was but the Undertaker gets turfed out of the ring “onto the concrete floor” (as the commentary goes). He lies there, unconscious or possibly even dead, for what seems like a lifetime. “It’s the end of the Undertaker” screams the announcer. For those of you that don’t normally tune in, he has this thing whereby when he gets knocked down badly, he gets up like a zombie, but this went on for far too long. So long in fact, that you start to believe that he really is out cold. Possibly maybe even as dead as they said he was. Hey, accidents happen even in sports entertainment. The house lights dim and a spotlight appears in the place where the Undertaker used to be. He’s gone! The spotlight is extinguished only to be replaced by thunder and lightning effects and the house lights come up. In the ring stands the Undertaker - the new improved, more evil than ever Undertaker! How do we know this? Well, because the TV commentary crew tell us it is so - and we believe it because we want to believe it. Why? Because it’s great! Our eyes tell us no lies today. Gone are the black gloves of the old Undertaker! They have been replaced with... purple gloves! This is how we know he is different. The change is subtle, but we the fans are enthralled by it - we know a new era has dawned. We feel it in our bones. Over the coming months - and indeed years - the Undertaker became a bigger icon than he was before. This is magic in its purest form. Why? Again, because that’s what we want to believe, because it’s the magic we like buying into - that’s the currency we deal in. Scoff you may, but the guy works hard for his money. The Undertaker - and many others give me what I need most for the few hours a week I allow myself to down tools. Escape.

Black Knight Magazines

Printed by Atlantic Print Unit 3 Sittingbourne Industrial Park, Sittingbourne, Kent ME10 3JH

“...and your point is Mr Smith?” No point at all. I just thought I’d share my story with you.

Distributed by Worldwide Magazines

Be extra-specially cool to each other...

© Black Knight 2005 While we take every possible care, we cannot be held responsible for the information herein. Burn Magazine may not be reproduced without the written permission of the publishers. Letters, particularly those submitted by email are welcome but we can only reply through the letters pages of the magazine. Burn Magazine recognises all copyrights and we seriously attempt to credit all material. If we have used and/or credited some of your material incorrectly, please contact us and we will do our best to rectify the error. All information contained herein is for informative/entertainment purposes only and is correct at time of going to press to the best of our knowledge.

Sion Smith ✪ Editor

Can’t find Burn in your newsagents? Buy it somewhere else - or hassle your newsagent, or just get it online. All very simple really.

✪ Look after the place people! One life, one planet. Money where your mouth is time. Burn is printed of recycled paper wherever possible (apart from the cover which sucks when you do that!). May the Goddess have mercy on your soul, but when you’ve no further need for the mag, recycle it. You know it makes sense.

Once

BITTEN

TWICE AS ANGRY..

11/12/05

Contents

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COOL FROM THE WIRE Random news pieces that made us nod for a second or two.. and some other bits. It’s good stuff. Honest!

SCAR TISSUE Chillin with the girls in the hood- or something like that anyway

SPASM GANG Zodiac Mindwarp commits more thoughts to paper. He’s still got it!

SINNERS INC. Hand picked, we present some of the finest unsigned bands we can lay our hands on.

THIS IS THE NEW SHIT Signed but little known... we get out the torches.

LIFE’S A GAS Each month we go out to lunch with an industry figure and ask some mean shit! This month does a band really need marketing?

ROAD TRIP It’s a big world out there. Dean Walker is still out in LA and loving every minute - but it’s not without its pitfalls!

CURSED Not ever heard of Van Helsings Curse? You have now...

BURN IN HELL A look back at what was neat in 2005

BENEATH A FUNERAL SUN Cathedral were back in town... so it’s only right to sit and smoke the pipes of peace...

SOUL TRADERS Tearing your soul apart? A quick foray into the Hellraiser sequels should do the trick...

NURAL Hot new talent from the guys in Nural. Nobody this young should be this good..

GRIFFIN FAMILY VALUES Remember the smash hit TV show Family Guy? Sometimes it could get a bit close to the wire. The new movie goes full on! We know... we’ve seen it! Mike Shaw brings it on.

MR JONES AND ME Kahn Johnson spends some quality time with Kelly Jones and the ‘phonics. Things are not always as they seem!

OUT OF THE CLOSET Kids flick or cultural icon? We’re going with the latter as Narnia looks fit to rock the boat!

STILL ROLLIN’, ROCK N ROLLIN’... Roger Lotring spends some time on the road with Def Leppard only to discover the beast is back!

DEAD MAN TALKING Rob Zombie lays it wide open in an exclusive interview with Sion Smith.

REVIEWS

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COOL THE FROM WIRE THE WIRE COOL FROM

COOL FROM THE WIRE COOL FROM THE WIRE

A QUIET NITE OUT KEITH RICHARDS IS TOP HELLRAISER Keith Richards has come first in a VH1 viewer poll of the top ten living hellraisers not that they're glorifying bad behaviour, or anything. Anyway, the 61 year old Rolling Stones guitarist, well known Tommy Lee: Slipping a bit there mate! for his 'interesting' lifestyle, beat off stiff competition from such luminaries in the field of hellraising as Ozzy Osbourne (well, he does come across as a bit domesticated these days), Pete Doherty (the man who put the boredom into slowly destroying yourself) and Charlotte Church (well, she's young yet). Courtney Love also makes a high entry at number two, not much of a surprise, given the regularity with which her drug habits and brushes with the law make the headlines. The full list is as follows: 1. Keith Richards 2. Courtney Love 3. Ozzy Osbourne 4. Pete Doherty 5. Shaun Ryder 6. Tommy Lee 7. Johnny Rotten 8. Robbie Williams 9. Charlotte Church 10. Liam and Noel Gallagher

A SHOT IN THE DARK: DEADLINE LOOMS FOR STUDENT BAND COMPETITION One now for all those student bands out there. Phone people 3 and SUBtv have teamed up to stage another edition of those Student Music Awards, and the deadline for college bands interested in entering is looming. Any student band can enter. All demos submitted will be judged by an industry panels who will select 30 finalists all of whom will be invited to record a session in London which will be played out on the SUBtv college screen network around the UK. Finalists will also play at regional heats in which the best three will be picked to play at a final at ULU next April. The overall winners get studio time with a famous producer, music video production, mentoring by industry professionals, and even an appearance on CD:UK! Full details are online at www.studentmusicawards.co.uk

STERN RETURN: So, what do you do when your flagship presenter keeps plugging his new show on a rival station on your primetime slot? But you know that if you sack him for it that new radio show will just get even more publicity - and he'll get to switch to the opposition quicker - which is what he wants anyway? I am guessing you just have to grin and bear it. Probably not best to suspend him for a day because that gives him the publicity without stopping him from using your airtime to sell the opposition in the future. But nevertheless, that is what US radio giant Infinity did to Howard Stern who, as previously reported, is using his Infinity produced US-wide radio show to tell everyone to go to their rivals - satellite broadcaster Sirius - where he will start a new show in the New Year. Recalling the meeting, Stern told his listeners: "I sat quietly and listened to Joel and then finally he stopped talking and I had nothing to say. Look, this whole thing is really dumb. This is just stupid. I have twenty-two shows left. I have all along maintained the same thing. I am happy with whoever replaces me. I don't feel competitive with David Lee Roth and Adam Carolla and Rover and The Sports Guys. I don't feel competitive with these people. I wish them the best of luck. It has been an amazing experience working for Viacom, and more importantly, Infinity for twenty years. We all came to this company early on when it was a couple of radio stations. Through hard work, not only mine, but Joel's, Tom's, and a lot of people who work here at this radio station every day, the show was successful. The company was successful. We were able to buy CBS and merge with them and then merge with Viacom. This is a very big success story."

SICK AS A DOG - AND THEN SOME... Having been scheduled to lay siege to the Eastern seaboard of the US over the next month, the ten-legged rock behemoth from the valleys that is Funeral For A Friend have been forced to pull out of their touring program. With drummer Ryan Richards laid low with a mystery stomach infection, the band have opted to cancel their entire sojourn across the States, concentrating instead on getting back to battle form for February's Taste Of Chaos tour. In a release to the band's official funeralforafriendmusic.com website, the band confirm Richards has been ordered to remain in the UK to remedy his illness, and cannot travel until he receives a clean bill of health. Says frontman Matt Davies â&#x20AC;&#x153;we were all looking forward to this tour and meeting up with the friends we've made so far in the USA but when it comes to situations like this we made a conscious decision that Ryan should be allowed to recoverâ&#x20AC;?. The band remain hopeful however some of the dates can be kept open for touring partners A Static Lullaby and Hopesfall.

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COOL FROM THE WIRE COOL FROM THE WIRE

A GLORIOUS NOSEBLEED

DOWN GIRLS!

Another survey has shown that music downloading is becoming less of a male dominated activity. The fourth European Music Census from TV and online digital music broadcaster Music Choice surveyed a pretty impressive 45,000 people across Europe, and showed that while more men were buying music from legal download platforms, the number of women accessing digital music was increasing rapidly. Here in the UK the increase in the number of females downloading music was 10%, compared to 5% for males. That means that while more men than women are downloading music, the difference between the sexes is declining. The survey also reveals that, in the UK at least, female downloaders access digital music sites more frequently and buy more tracks per month. Anyway, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s enough of that story - it was just a great excuse to print a picture of Jesse Jane, who is definitely a woman and an office vote says yes, she probably downloads music.

Teenage Rampage Their arrival was something of a much welcomed heady flow of fresh air late in the early autumn, and now Circa Survive are taking to the UK's highways and byways next year. A cavalcade of stirring melody, angelic harmony, all gracefully underpinned by the sort of swagger that would have Peter Stringfellow in raptures, the Philadelphia mob dropped something of a bombshell with the release of their stunning 'Juturna' back in September. Taking their nod from the bounds of rock, prog and hardcore-lite, the band have single-handedly forged a cute little niche for themselves in a world seemingly opting for revolution over evolution. And they're clearly not afraid of mixing it up with the big boys for the band have been confirmed as the third and final act on the forthcoming Coheed & Cambria / Thrice double-header tour for next month. Have your music doctorate handy when the trio take on : 28th January 2006 - Nottingham Rock City 29th January - Bristol Academy 30th January - Birmingham Academy 1st February - Glasgow Barrowlands 2nd February - Manchester Academy 3rd February - Newcastle Academy 4th February - London Brixton Academy B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

Not that many moons ago, during the dour post-Cobain fallout, when the likes of Korn, Deftones, and Coal Chamber were flavours of the month and JJB were struggling to replenish their tracksuit stocks, the thought of a dual-guitar power metal assault was made about as welcome as a madras-fuelled fart in an astronaut suit. How things can change in a few years. Dragonforce, the multicultured, hyper-speed widdlers have been signed by the ultrahip Roadrunner Records label, and have set about confirming the release details of their forthcoming album. Due early next month, 'Inhuman Rampage' once again sees the band nudging the bar in their bid to become the world's foremost power metal combo. Gone are the days when the genre would be hailed as little more than the joke preserve of the archaic metal purist Dragonforce represent the brave new face of technical metal prowess, drawing weighty accolades wherever they see fit to rear their heads. Witness the revolution : 27th January 2006 - Manchetser Academy 2 29th January - Nottingham Rock City 30th January - Leeds Metropolitan University 31st January - Glasgow Carling Academy 1st February - Newcastle University 3rd February - London Astoria 'Inhuman Rampage' is scheduled to hit stores via Roadrunner on January 9th 2006. The world is theirs for the taking...

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COOL FROM THE WIRE COOL FROM THE WIRE ITUNES ONE OF TEN BIGGEST MUSIC SELLERS IN U.S.

More good news for Apple. iTunes is now one of the top ten biggest music sellers in the US - in fact it is at number seven. And that's based on the maths that every 12 downloads sold via iTunes equals an album sold in a traditional music store - which probably works against the download platform (the average number of tracks on an album is surely less than 12). According to the survey by NPD, the digital music seller is now selling more music than traditional retailers Tower Records and Sam Goody, although mail-order CDs still dominate in the online music space, with Amazon.com coming fifth in the overall top ten. The full NPD top ten US music retailers runs: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Wal-Mart Best Buy Target Amazon.com FYE

6. Circuit City 7. Apple iTunes 8. Tower Records 9. Sam Goody 10. Borders

EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN!

As the prospect of Elvis Presley returning to Earth on his lunar double-decker bus seems ever-more realistic than 'The Chinese Democracy' ever seeing the light of day, Geffen Records are reported to have scheduled a new Guns N' Roses best of in time for Christmas. Whilst Mr Rose presumably remains holed-up in the studio, over-analysing every single crack of the snare drum to death and back, his label seem determined to make some money of his back before even the diehards give up hope. A spokesperson for Geffen last month revealed how the label's hand had been forced given the continued delay on the Gunners' first new material in nearly fifteen years. 'Welcome To The Jungle - The Very Best Of Guns N' Roses' is due to hit shelves on December 20th, and will be available in two formats, one featuring a 'Parental Advisory' tag and a 'radio edits' collection. How this will be met by Axl and his former bandmates remains to be seen. The first best of collection, released in March, saw an attempted block on its release by Rose, former guitarist Slash and one-time bassist Duff McKagan as all three claimed the label hadn't consulted the band prior to the album going on sale. Expect a hissy fit, and another timely delay on 'The Chinese Deomcracy' from Mr Rose any time now…

The humble ipod still the cats pyjamas.

BURNT OFFERINGS Respected journalists love giving their points of view on what’s the coolest thing around. Our beloved news editor couldn’t find any as usual, so you’ll have to put up with our rubbish... SION ✪ NICELY GRILLED: Black Dye, White Noise, crab baguettes, this issue of Burn, the new boss, the Coheed gig, heaters in cars, pyro, the ‘stag’ scene in Ring 2, the dark arts, Jake Roberts, Silver Surfer and the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers ✪ BURNT TO A CRISP: Banthas in the back of your car, my knees and parking in Brighton ✪ WHAT I WANT FOR XMAS: New knees, a secret passage in the kitchen that leads to NYC, a black Starbucks mug and a new wand ✪ CURRENT RINGTONE: Dontcha by Pussycat Dolls and Calling by Taproot for texts. Sad but true. KAHN ✪ NICELY GRILLED: Burn, discovering the [SIC] album at last, The Emperor’s New Groove, Fiona Apple ✪ BURNT TO A CRISP: Christmas, winter, snow, rain, wind, returning from Singapore to find it’s minus fucking two at Heathrow ✪ WHAT I WANT FOR XMAS: Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson giftwrapped and clutching an Xbox 360 ✪ CURRENT RINGTONE: MnaMna. Or Forty Deuce’s Oh My God. Depends on my mood and who I’m trying to piss off. MIKE ✪ NICELY GRILLED: Driving vans ✪ BURNT TO A CRISP: My new flat ✪ WHAT I

WANT FOR XMAS: A ninja ✪ CURRENT RINGTONE: Harry Potter theme tune. Not a crappy poly - the real muthafuckin' deal. JJ ✪ NICELY GRILLED: Zane Lowe ripping up a two hour DJ set, The Darkness Album, Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen 30 yr box set, Rolling Stones UK live Dates in Summer 2006, Suicide Girls DVD & Book, Dark Arts, War of the Worlds on DVD, Ozzy on the UK hall of fame show, Kristmas Klubbing in the Krazyhouse. ✪ BURNT TO A CRISP: George Best with us no more, saw him play, say no more. Autumn not turning up & Winter jumping straight in, Rock Radio that does NOT Rock! Pretenders! ✪ WHAT I WANT FOR XMAS: Issue of Burn, Black Dye, White Noise & a bottle of Jim Beam Black, 8yr old Bourbon, in Asda @ £18:00. Can u hear me Santa, Can you? ✪ CURRENT RINGTONE: Yeah right, F.R.O... Ringtones are for people with NO fuckin' life, i have one, i'll send those who dont a quid to buy one, & I'll get 99p back! ANDY ✪ NICELY GRILLED: Union, Union and, er, Union. ✪ BURNT TO A CRISP: Akercocke, the turnout for Union, The Tea Party splitting up ✪ WHAT I WANT FOR XMAS: Autumn, because we didn't get one! ✪ CURRENT RINGTONE: It rings. You know, like a fucking phone!

ANDREA ✪ NICELY GRILLED: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ✪ BURNT TO A CRISP: Val D'Isere in January - bloody freezing, but nice for snowboarding ✪ WHAT I WANT FOR XMAS: Teeth whitening instead of 2 front teeth, guitar amp and a new velux window so I don't get pissed on when I'm asleep and it rains! ✪ CURRENT RINGTONE: Er... ring ring ring ring. very boring but less embarrassing! SEB ✪ NICELY GRILLED: 20GB MP3 players, open coal fires, finding a Slinky under the bed, Converse (a sponsorship would be nice!) ✪ BURNT TO A CRISP: Long-winded conversations about absolutely nothing, cold weather without snow, that itch you just can't reach ✪ WHAT I WANT FOR XMAS:Whatever gracious readers will send in! To the regular address, please! ✪ CURRENT RINGTONE: "Espionage"... Just a stock Nokia tone. But it's just so damn funky. ANDREW ✪ NICELY GRILLED: Faster Pussycat ✪ BURNT TO A CRISP: Artic Monkeys ✪ WHAT I WANT FOR XMAS: A house, world peace. Failing that some Motothead trainers ✪ CURRENT RINGTONE: Lightning Bolt 'Dead Cowboy'.

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SCAR TISSUE SCAR TISSUE

SCAR TISSUE SCAR TISSUE The Spiral Staircase Cristina Scabbia leaves the relative safety of Lacuna Coil to subject herself to the mindless torture of the Scar Tissue hit squad... Where does the band name come from? We just created it. We wanted something special, so we took an Italian word, Lacuna (which roughly translates as lack of memory) and added Coil, or spiral. Hence empty spiral Why are Goths so miserable? 'Cos they like to keep all their happiness on the inside (laughs). Goths are really selfish! Best thing about being in a band? You get to travel around the world, get loads of free stuff and loads of free beer Worst job you've ever had? I've never really had a bad job. I suppose when I worked in an office for a period, that was bad. Cats or dogs? BOTH! Plus fish, cows, chickensâ&#x20AC;Ś One day I want to own a ranch and have loads of animals on it! Are you disappointed that you haven't had chart success? Not really. We know our potential, but we're realistic, we're on an

independent so it's a lot harder. As long as people appreciate us, we're happy What's on your I-pod? All sorts. I like Queens of The stone Age's new one, Marrs Volta, Massive Attack - I don't have any one album, I like to shuffle What's the strangest request you've had from a fan? I do get a lot of letters from foot fetish fans, calling me master and asking for pictures of me smashing their face into the pavement! Who would win in a fight between a cow and a sheep? Oooh, I really have to think about this. I would say sheep, because it's smaller and agile, but I'll keep thinking about it and get back to you! Have you ever found yourself involved with the mafia? No, not at all! What's the worst thing about being in Lacuna Coil? Probably being away from our family and friends. And not being able to have proper showers every day, and in some places the food really sucks, which is horrible because I really live to eat!

Where do you shop for clothes? Wherever I like! There's not one single place I go. I like stuff that's strange, but I like classic stuff as well. And I like shopping in America, they have some very weird stuff! And who does your hair? Me! Everyone is their own best stylist. Describe Lacuna Coil in three words Family, Lazy bums, energetic If you weren't answering these questions what would you be doing? Trying out stuff in the practice room, but it's getting really smoky in there so thank you! Why has it taken you so long to tour England? No idea! Well, we've been touring America a lot over the last couple of years, but before that there was always the question of promoters, management, costsâ&#x20AC;Ś but hey, we're coming now! And we're really happy about that! Who's your biggest influence? Probably my parents. I have an excellent relationship with them, and I hope I have the same attitude and outlook when I'm their age If the band got stranded on a desert island, who would you eat first? Probably Cristiano (Muzzati) our drummer, because he's so skinny. I'd keep the fatter ones for later on, in case of emergencies Where will Lacuna Coil be in 10 years time? Hopefully still playing, still having the same energy and ideas, still being friends and still having fun Showers or baths? Showers - they're more practical and quicker. Baths are saved for sharing with someone special.

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Pics: Chiaki Nozu

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E SCAR TISSUE R O M SCAR TISSUE SCAR TISSUE Deliver us from evil SCAR TISSUE

Sharon den Adel of Within Temptation agrees to be submerged in the sensory depravation tank for three weeks.. then we pumped mindless questions at her through underwater speakers and she gives us the best answers she can. Something like that anyway: What car would you drive if money and road laws were no object? I think I'd like to try out a racing car. I've looked into it several times, and I try to keep up with racing, you know, F1. So I think I'd like to try out a dream of mine.

If you could ask anyone one question, which they had to answer totally fully and honestly, who and what would you ask? I'd go back many centuries and ask whoever why they thought the World was flat.

actually quite pleased that it wasn't all our fault after all? I think like that sometimes, because we are making a real mess of this planet. But Insects are… eew! Can we have kittens instead?

If you weren't a singer, what would you be doing? Something in Fashion. I did fashion education. It was sort of fashion management. I worked for a company too, before I did this. And it had nothing to do with male models!

Why is the book always better than the movie? More detail and longer.

Is George W. Bush really just someone in a monkey suit having a bit of fun? No, I think he's a real monkey! It's crazy that someone like that can have so much power. I particularly don't like him because he doesn't believe Global Warming exists. He won't sign the Kyoto Treaty!

What's your favourite country to play live in? (Please bear in mind that you do have to say England!) England, 100%! Do you ever wear your dresses for anything else? Maybe around the house? Or for a bit of gardening? Of course! Baby showers, kindergarten parties, everything! No one recognises me without the dresses on, so if I'm in the supermarket or something, no one asks for autographs if I don't have a dress on, because they don't recognise me! Are doom metal bands miserable because they play doom metal, or do they play doom metal because they're miserable? Well, we were called a doom metal band, and I think we are more kind of happy people now, so I think they're miserable because they play doom. If you could fly, where would you go? Iceland, I think. It sounds so refreshing. England is too hot at the moment. A real musician or a rock magazine editor that dresses like a member of KISS? Ew, definitely no KISS! Musician! What would be the most fitting punishment for whoever invented reality TV? To be in one! Without knowing! That's even more evil.

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Do the people that say there should be a test before allowing couples to be parents have the right idea? I don't think so, but there are some cases. Couples who have learning or mental difficulties, there's a lot of talk about whether they should be allowed to have children. Some of them do very well at it and are very capable, but I think some are just not and it's not fair or could be harmful for the child, so maybe there should be some kind of test. Is Holland as flat as we all think it is? Well, The Nits sang of the Dutch mountains, but I've never found them! What is wrong with people who put clothes on tiny dogs or carry them in handbags? A mental problem! Or maybe there's something missing in their lives, like a man. So they buy clothes for the dog, instead of for the man. Does anyone actually care who wins the Eurovision Song Contest? No! Ha! But it's a good laugh. It's gets too political now, instead of true voting. All the judges are like “If I vote for you, will you vote for me and not vote for them”. Are people that say, “money can't buy happiness,” lying or just not telling the whole story? I don't know, I don't have any! If it turned out that the dominant species on the planet was actually insects, and we were just puppets in their World, would you be surprised and scared or

What do you want for Christmas? Snow! I know it sounds a bit weak, but I think that's the true Christmas spirit! I want real snow instead of those fake snow skiing holidays with a tiny slope about as long as those steps [there were 3]. “Oh, look, I've done one turn!” And sleighing! On our Dutch mountains! What might your New Years resolution be? Well, I've never smoked before, so I won't smoke! Finish the new album before September and come back to England! We love British humour, like 'Allo, 'Allo. The Germans never have it! Ha! Who would win a fight between a cow and a sheep? The cow would sit on the sheep and win! Or swing her tits, what are they called?

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SPASM SPASM GANG

GANG

SPASM GANG SPASM GANG

THE BLUES? YEAH, RIGHT...

“Fuck man, yeah, know what I’m sayin? Motherfucker just starts laying into me with his goddamn fucking acoustic…” said Slam, our drummer from way back. “What? The fucker hit you with his Gibson?” Replied Cobalt, obviously more concerned about the damage to the classic guitar than our drummers head injuries. “The bastard smashed me in the teeth for no fuckin’ reason...’ continued the traditionally intellectual, Canadian drummer, checking out his hideous shiner in the mirror. The previous evening had seen Slam drinking heavily and conversing intelligently at Nasty Hanoi Rocks Suicides gaff. “Well you must have said something” added Cobalt “ I mean guitarists don’t just use classic vintage Gibson’s like fucking baseball bats for no reason, no matter how fucking pissed they are ” vintage, classic Cobalt was genuinely perplexed. “Nothing man, I swear, well…” continued the wounded drummer, the clicks and whirrs of his memory circuits almost audible as he tried to make sense of the previous evenings debauch. “I don’t know maybe it was the comments I made about the blues being a load of over rated crap, I don’t know man, the mother just like, kicked off” I started laughing as Slam continued his tale “The fucker was bullshitting on about the blues being some kind of musical heritage horseshit, some bogus John Peel, Andy Kershaw shite, ranting on about a bunch of fuckers called Blind Toad Crackerjack and Fat Melon Muddybelly, I don’t know, weird old black fuckers with weird names. He kept putting on all these scratchy old records as well, croaky old bastards singing about mojos and shit, and then the mental motherfucker just laid into me, knocked over all the cans on the fuckin’ table and poleaxed me with his stupid fucking guitar” I kind of got the drift. A musical heritage/social history discussion type thing that had succumbed inevitably to alcohol and general rock stupidity. To understand this sort of pathetic rock train spotting rubbish you had to go way back to the early sixties and that handful of namby-pamby public school boy Nigel’s who, armed with a few crappy old American import records, changed the face of popular music as we know it. Well that’s what these ancient anoraks and their journalistic DJ friends would have us believe anyway. Like my good drummer Slam, I never bought it either. It’s a good story though, Mick and Keith, Lennon and McCartney, Jimmy Page and the other one that looks like Nigel Tufnell, (I think he means Jeff Beck-Ed) all sitting around in grungy Soho and Hamburg wankdens changing the face of popular music with their funny little record collections. I remember during my formative years when the sonic crunch of a Gibson Les Paul punished

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through an overdriven Marshall bit me hard and how much I loved the noise. Naturally I needed to know more about the rock gods that were producing this epiphanous racket and where it came from. I scoured the rock comics of the day and hung on every semi literate interview, every word dribbled from their slack, inarticulate jaws. Amongst the tales of drunkenness, drugs and groupies, they would occasionally mention the music. This Blues thing kept being mentioned. Something about the Deep South. The Mississippi delta, old black guys with funky, spooky names like Lightning Hopkins, Lead Belly, Big Bill Broonzy, Muddy Waters, and one that was revered above the rest, Robert Johnson. Some crazy bastard who’d sold his soul to the devil for a bunch of guitar licks or something, which in a thirteen year old boys estimation, more than made up for his lack of a far out moniker. It seemed to be some bizarre competition with these early rockers to see who could find the most obscure record by an old black man sitting on his plantation, getting whacked on moonshine, singing about his troubles with a mean old bastard called the man and a mean polecat woman who rolled jelly and left him every morning when he woke up. Obviously to a thirteen year old from Armley, this stuff sounded the bollocks. I was constantly in trouble with my old man and if I ever did manage to find a mean polecat woman who rolled jelly well I was pretty sure she would leave me every morning as well. Tracking down blues records circa 1972 in Armley might not have been as difficult as it was in 1920’s Richmond where Mick and Keith reputedly found their treasured source, but it was

Words: Zodiac Mindwarp

no cakewalk either. Gilbert and Roberts Hi-Fi shop on Armley Town Street eventually did manage to find me some old compilation thing, the sound of the Mississippi delta blues or something. The sleeve had loads of writing on it and a picture of a fat old black guy, obviously bladdered, with a banjo. It didn’t look promising. To say I was disappointed when I placed these legends of the blues on my turntable was the understatement of that week. I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this fucking shit. Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Black Sabbath it certainly wasn’t. A bunch of reedy old fuckers with shitty acoustic guitars, mouth organs, banjos and busted old pianos that they couldn’t even play properly, recorded in what sounded like a plantation toilet. Not an electric guitar to be heard. I was devastated, thought that my rock heroes were taking the piss, how could they possibly say that this fucking toilet music was what had influenced them, Big Bill Broonzy my fucking arse. Obviously they were either on some higher musical plane than me or it was all the cosmic space dust they were snorting. Years later of course, unlike dear Slammy boy, I did make the connection. I figured out that Robert Planet wasn’t literally squeezing a lemon down his trousers and that the blues wasn’t an instrumentation, chord progression or even weird tuning thing either. It was far more than that copying shit that all those white boys got up to into the sixties. It was and is a living breathing thing, which is as alive now as ever it was back in those plantation days. Blues for me has to do with attitude and rhythm, something about rising above your shitty situation and the bum deal life has handed down to you and not wallowing in it. 50 cent and his gangsta brethren sound a hell of a lot more like genuine bluesman to me than Eric Clapton down at the crossroads ever fucking could. I mean what was a plantation anyway if it wasn’t a ghetto.

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E

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SINNERSSINNERS INC.

INC.

SINNERS INC. SINNERS INC. Probably the best unsigned bands in the World

With the track Ball & Chain featuring one Robert Plant on harmonica and a recent support slot throughout the UK with Robin Trower, Jon clearly has a lot of respect amongst his peers. One of the last true English guitar heroes, Jon will be embarking on a full-band tour sometime next year once the album is out.

Thunderbrew (USA)

Jon Amor (England) Jon Amor is a bit of a cult legend now. Originally lead guitarist in the allconquering British blues-rock band The Hoax, Jon went on to form his own band, called Amor, after The Hoax disbanded in 1999. Two albums and an EP later Jon has gone it alone. Completely alone. His new EP Ball & Chain and his forthcoming debut solo album Unknown Soldier will both be released under his own steam.

Fans of Black Label Society, Corrosion of Conformity, Brand New Sin and Down need to start paying a bit of attention here. Thunderbrew are a low-down southern style metal band from Wilmington, Delaware and, like the aforementioned bands, have monumental riffs tearing through every track on both their debut album Red Death and their current release Red, White & Brew. The latest record is a far more polished affair then the first, allowing the musicianship of the band, particularly guitarists Rick Land and Daran Amos (also lead vocals) to really shine, adding as many awe-inspiring solos as your average Zakk Wylde offering, apart from the instrumental Down The Hatch II,

where there are more. Bassist Bob Beird and drummer Dan Kwasizur provide the tightest rhythms this side of AC/DC to add an intense power to the songs. But even then, it’s through live performance that the talent of this band really shows. Bassist Bob Beird: “Thunderbrew attracts fans from all ages and walks of life. The typical ‘brew fan might enjoy bands like Alice In Chains, Godsmack, Black Label Society, or Black Sabbath but with one of the most intense and entertaining live shows in the region, [we’ve] captured the attention of many fans that previously didn’t enjoy ‘heavy music’” Thunderbrew have recently been picking up supporting slots with the likes of Hammerfall and Scum of the Earth (Riggs from Rob Zombie’s band) and continue to play headlining shows throughout the midAtlantic region of the States attracting bigger crowds with every one. Where can I hear more? Jon Amor’s Ball & Chain EP is out now and is available at all Jon Amor shows and through his website at www.jonamor.com. The full-length album Unknown Soldier will be released early next year. Both of Thunderbrew’s albums are available from their website at www.thunderbrew.com. Red Death is also available from Perris Records and Red, White & Brew is available from CDBaby.

With the new EP Jon has shown his impressive versatility as a creative songwriter with three brand new and very varied songs that are very unlike his previous blues works, or the slightly more modern-rock turn he took with the last EP with Amor. The groove is back, ladies and gentlemen. Completed by tasteful guitar solos this new material is guaranteed to get the punters moving just like the debut Amor album did. “Although a few Robert Johnson fans may disagree, I feel there’s a lot of blues on the new record. ‘Blues’ is not confined to songs about mean mistreatin’ mamas and 10 minute guitar solos - it’s about honesty and sincerity and soul. I never have a style in mind when recording an album. Music shouldn’t be about ’style’; I just want to present a bunch of good songs. ‘Stylistically’, the new album is pretty diverse, I suppose, but as long as each track is a good song, I’m happy.” 016

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E

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07.12.2005

10:27

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is the new this is thethis new shit.

shit.

this is the new shit. this is the new shit. Theories In The Head:

Good albums are quite the regularity these days, if you know where to look. But it's not often that you come across a talent that is so amazing it defies understanding. Daniel J is Daniel Jakubovic, son of professional saxophonist Jaroslav Jakubovic. Born in Israel in 1982, Daniel was playing, recording and producing music from a very young age and by 15 he could play guitar, bass, drums and keyboards. “Before I played the other instruments when I was really young, I would pick [the saxophone] up and call my dad and tell him to listen to me play a few tunes I learned on my own that were his. I guess other things attracted me more, besides, why play it if I have the best player in the World as a dad?! I grew up in studios and on stages watching shows and sessions and started recording my own stuff and producing music for other artists when I 018

was 11 and would always play all the instruments.” A huge Dream Theater fan, Daniel's big break came when he met and befriended

invited me to play on his record. First he offered me to play a couple of rhythm tracks so he sent me the keyboard tracks as he was writing them, and I was learning them thoroughly and he just kept on sending more and more tracks until I finally played on the whole album (besides one track). Learning his music was definitely the most difficult thing I have done musically, you have to understand, complexity wise it makes Dream Theater look like a Bon Jovi tune...his lines, timings, structures are just so crazy and odd sounding (in a good way of course) and I learned so much information in a short period of time, I got really sick at the end of the learning period right before the recording. I guess my brain was on infooverload. The recording process was great, I had the freedom to learn the songs my way and he just took what I offered which was pretty amazing considering the fact that it was my first big record I played on.” Through Dream Theater band mate James LaBrie's involvement with Henning Pauly's Frameshift project on ProgRock Records Rudess brought Daniel to the label attention and this led to the release of Daniel's debut solo record Losing Time, on which Daniel sings and plays guitar, keyboards, bass and drums. Rudess himself contributes keyboards on three tracks. The record is very heavy (“It's always my intension to create the heaviest shit”) and very complex with musicianship easily rivalling that of any of the most accomplished progressive bands. Daniel has now formed a new band called Against The Wall, which he describes as “an alt/hard rock band, like a mix between Story Of The Year, Chevelle, New Found Glory, Killswitch Engage and Losing Time,” but also intends to continue to make solo records. It would be so easy for someone of

It's always my intension to create the heaviest shit Dream Theater keyboard player Jordan Rudess. “Becoming Jordan's friend was a huge pleasure, first of all he's an amazing human being, probably one of the kindest and coolest people I have ever met, and musically, a huge honour. I have been a DT fan since I was 16 so I was ecstatic and after we were friends for like a year he

Daniel's skill to make technically accomplished but ultimately forgettable records (hello, Steve Vai), but Daniel also possesses the ability to craft a genuine song. There is a lot more to come from this young man, in many different fields, and I have no doubt every one of them will be exceptional. w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E

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In an effort to break you out of your popular-media-sheltered existence, saturated with radio-rock plagiarists and neatly choreographed nancies, Andy Lye hunts down the hottest new talents in rock and drops them right in your lap. No effort required.

We're a band digging pretty

Taking Command of the New Rock

eagerly in the soil of the 70s...

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

There's a huge underground movement of 70s influenced heavy rock going on in both Europe (although not so much the UK) and the US at the moment. Didn't know that? Well, what can I say; the media-at-large does its utmost to shelter you all from anything non-mainstream, doesn't it? Well we don't! Generous Maria have been around in their home nation of Sweden since 1998. Various demo and 7” releases and contributions to compilations eventually culminated in the release of their debut full-length album Command of the New Rock on Lunasound in 2002. Belgium's Buzzville Records have since picked up the album and collaborated with other labels to bring together four bonus tracks from some of the various releases prior to the album for a 2005 rerelease. Vocalist Göran Florström recounts how he became involved in the band: “This lady came around as a result of my longing back to the heavy rock scene, must have been ´98 or ´99. I hadn't been in band for a while, pretty tired of the whole thing, keeping away from it, thought it was a good thing for me to do at the time. Explored other musical areas, even was in an opera choir for a while, did Carmen and all kind of stuff. I found out that an old friend, the bassist Jeppe (Klarqvist), was putting a heavy rock act together, pretty loosely though. They needed a singer and the band started to get a bit more serious and dedicated.” The Generous Maria sound is very much one of 70s heavy rock. Rumbling bass, dirty fuzzy guitars and strong clean vocals. There's plenty of Sabbath and Zeppelin in there, as well as perhaps some modern stoner-rock sound. “We're a band digging pretty eagerly in the soil of the 70s, there's no denying that, gimme Sir Lord Baltimore any day. Two bands have had an enormous impact on us though: early Black Sabbath and the Stooges.” They don't sound exactly like any of these bands, however. Maria have their own unique sound and are more than capable of changing it up when it suits them to keep it interesting without losing any of the hard-rock power, something that will be

even more evident on their next album. And don't panic, the mention of stoner-rock here doesn't mean they sound like Queens of The Stone Age (thank the Lord)! “We just recently finished the mix of the new album. Haven't settled for a title just yet, so it'll be “the new album” for a while. It's to be mastered in Belgium in December for an early ´06 release. It's taken quite a while to get it together, but hey, a pregnancy is nine months so why shouldn't this baby take about the same? It's more 'in your face' compared to Command of the New Rock. Some say it's darker as well, and I think I'm inclined to agree with that. It's also a varied album, got pretty fast songs, slower songs, it's really not like the same song eleven times. Albums like that bore me. I'm really pleased with this one, it's a raw rock album, can't wait to get it released.” The band are planning to do some touring to support the new release. A tour that will hopefully include the UK in some shape or form. “Plans are just plans as for now, but of course we'll tour. The continent - Germany, Holland, Belgium for sure, maybe France and hopefully UK as well. Never been there with the band so it's about time, right?” Too damn right. Bring it on!

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A LIFE’S ALIFE’S GAS...

GAS...

LIFE’S A GAS... LIFE’S A GAS... The Music Industry. The phrase strikes fear into the hearts of some and yet thousands of people seem to want to be part of it, whether that be as part of a band or working relentlessly behind the scenes. In a new regular feature, we thought we’d debunk some myths and do something useful by getting into the guts of thing. This month, David Gulvin sheds some light on that elusive job marketing - what is it, why do you need it and just what in the hell do these people do all day long? Over to you Mr Gulvin... I was surviving by selling ad space on commission only. When a friend of mine told me about a telesales job advert he'd seen in a student paper, I got the number for BMG. Mind you, I had to manipulate and persuade them hard to give me an interview as the slots were full by the time I called. When I finally did do so, I made damn sure I got that job. At the end of the second interview, when their sales director asked me if I had any questions, I asked; "From what you've seen of me so far, do you think I have what it takes to do this job?" He said he thought I did. So I said coolly, "Okay. Then I don't have any further questions." I got a feeling that might've clinched it.

Reveal your true identity please! I've been in the business around fifteen years. Firstly as the talentless two-stringed bass player of punk-metal band, Decimator. I went on to do a ten year stint at BMG both as a sales rep and then marketing manager for acts like Tom McRae, Velvet Revolver, SOIL, HIM, Cave In and RUN DMC. In March this year I founded my own consultancy, which I call Solitaire Solution, which is a polite way of saying, 'play with yourself'. I now product manage Lacuna Coil and Arch Enemy for Century Media as well as INME for V2. I also co-manage a new band called Sweet Suzi with John Brand at Marsupial Management, who once managed the Stereophonics. I guess there are two ways into this right? You can go to Uni and do a degree and attach yourself to a company that way, or there's the renegade route. What was your preferred option - and looking back would there have been a better way to come in? If you don't happen to be blessed with a public school education, then I say the 'renegade' route is not only the best option, but the only option. I guess, lots of people who work in record companies were in bands at one time or another. Working in a record shop is also a good way to get started young. Lots of kids try to get work experience as an intern, and what few jobs there are advertised might come up in music week. I got an interview with Polygram from there once. There are industry courses and stuff but I was very lucky. After 5 years of Decimator I was virtually unemployable! 020

So what your first trip into the real world with all of this? The first thing I ever did for BMG was call an HMV store and pitch to a video buyer. The video was a super-soft porn flick called, How To Strip For Your Lover. The guy ordered 3 copies. Wow, I thought, compared to ad sales this is a doddle. So you know, all things considered, back when I was calling the USA, trying to get through to the marketing directors of airline component manufactuers so as to persuade them to part with five grand for a page in "Infrastuctre For China" in order that I might eat. One guy once said to me. "You know what David? I had a million ad sales guys pitch me over the years, but you can goddam read a script better than any of them!" It was that, that pretty much taught me how to play it in the music biz. Give us a little insight into what it takes to break a band like HIM. I know you came into the story in the UK pretty early on but I also know it took a fair amount of time. Tell us the (brief!) story Well thing about HIM was that you had to keep up with Ville and get totally wasted! He always said I was the only person at BMG UK to believe in his band. I always say, I never believed. I just loved them. I had faith in them, not belief. And that gave me the courage to keep going despite the fact that most of the media universally loathed them. Again I was pretty lucky though. HIM cracked Germany in a big way on Razorblade otherwise they might've been dropped. BMG UK ended up thinking of me as this curious rock head and to be fair to them, be it by error or design, the albums came around and they 'allowed' me the freedom to beaver away on HIM at a tortoise pace. By the time of 'Love Metal' in 2003, much like the conditions that allow a comet to happen, the disperate 'matter' all came together and with some more hard work it was two years of continuous good news.

So to answer the question, what does it take? It takes patience and faith mixed with a little wisdom. Slowly but surely people stir and start helping out. Then comes the luck. No-one does this shit on their own. Go on then... we know you're dying to... what's the best advice you could give to someone seriously thinking about doing this for a living? Don't! But if you must, here's a few golden rules: If you ain't wise, then don't say very much and people will tend to consider you very wise. Failing that, remember bullshit baffles, but don't pretend to know about stuff when you don't and be prepared to always live your life in the future. Accept that it's a maze. So relish the knowledge that the majority of the time you don't know where you're going and that the light at the end of the tunnel might just as well be a fast approaching train. Unless you fancy being one, keep a keen eye out for the numerous paranoid wankers whose own personal gain is more important to them than society. But don't let this make you paranoid. The glass is neither half empty or half full. What you have to do is put some nice stones in there so the water rises and you can take a drink. An idea is innocent until proven guilty. You can market anything, to anyone, at any given time. Ultimately, if you're serious about music marketing, then you'll quite possibly end up doing it. If you're not, you won't. Looking back on it, I imagine I was never really that serious about becoming a rock star. If you could do it all again.. would you do it the same.. that's probably the best way of figuring out how much you know! I should of liked to have been the first slim, gothic world professional darts champion to have played in black eyeliner. So no. I so fucked up. But everybody does.

Got a question for Mr G? mrg@solitairesolutionmusic.com www.solitairesolutionmusic.com

Next month: we talk to Michelle Kerr at RoadRunner Records about life as a press officer. It can't possibly be that hard can it! Can it? w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E

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ROAD ROAD TRIP

TRIP

ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP sleep again for me tonight. I end up sat on the stoop of the apartment playing me acoustic all night. Brilliant! A gem of an experience! One I will never forget, it was like being in West Side Story. No sleep for three nights now but who the fuck cares, its showbiz! I love NY. My uncle Dominic Volante won 15 fights at Madison Square Gardens. Gotta emulate him. Gonna do a 15 night stint there. Deffo. Gonna buy a house here someday. That's two houses up to now; my album better sell like shit off a shovel. Off to the airport and back to San Francisco to pick up the car, hope the things all right I don't fancy spending the rest of my life in a gulag or being forced to watch Chelsea for that matter

DAY HIATT HOTEL

DAY 26 Take a bike ride over the Golden Gate Bridge; had to really, the bike company is named after my favourite movie, the parody of parodies 'Blazing Saddles'. Brilliant, had lunch in a fab place, gonna buy a house there someday. Took in Alkatraz, went to see where one of my relatives spent his last years! Pick up some souvenirs from hippieland, then it's off to the airport. Leave the car at the airport, tell the attendant to look after that car or Boris will 'ave ya'. Fly to New York.

DAY OR NIGHT Arrive in New York, get some good news; I'm in top 50 artists on MySpace after only a couple of weeks. That's cool, 350,000 artists and I'm in the top 50 and no one knows me yet. I'll 'ave some of that! 022

Do a couple of basement gigs, hot, sweaty, great, love it. New Yorkers are like Scousers, hard, fast and fun, if your prepared to give everything you get everything back, no half measures. We even share the same architecture, apparently New York copied Liverpool's Liver Buildings. Boss. Meet up with Sherman an artist friend [Sherman once shared a joint with John Lennon, when John was in hospital in New York, they were good friends], a German poet and some of my relatives from Italy who arrived in the States over 100 years ago, not them personally of course, but their Grand Parents. My dad's a fireman so I stop by and get a NYFD t-shirt for him, he'll like that. Goes back to apartment, staying in the Bronx, we turn into the street and fuck me there's a huge street party going on, in full swing. Everybody's 'avin it. Looks like no

Got a few days to myself so time to relax a bit and chill out. The day starts off well with a call from Alan at ESP guitars, they are going to endorse me for guitars, Nice One, I'll definitely have some of that, great bloke, I like him a lot. Off to Hiatt for business meeting with Candace (from Cello), Laura (runs the mix room) Zachary (engineer The Mix room and Fletcher an engineer, producer guy who also runs Mercenary Audio, “meet you on the roof” she says, I gets to the roof, it's boss, huge pool, the lot, the business, love it! meeting goes well, plenty of champers and caviar, I dig the champagne but caviar, nah, you can keep it, it's horrible, stinking black slimy stuff, I just don't get it, sushi yes, caviar nah. Time to relax, I start talkin' with this Sicilian guy at the next table, he's a huge dude with the obligatory fat cigar, sat there with his daughter and four minders. It transpires this guy is mafia, for real, a boss from Sicily The heat and the fizz get the better of me, I strip to the Calvins and take the plunge, to my horror Don Corleone follows me with a huge dive bomb, this guy won't leave me alone, he keeps sayin' “sing, sing” even in the pool, "sing, sing", at first I thought he was homesick for prison, but like all Italians, gestures speak louder than words, he points to his mouth "sing sing", who does he think I am, Handel; I don't do water music. Have you ever regretted telling people what you do? But in this case I relent, Analyse this and That sprung to mind, this guy isn't Robert De Nero and I'm not Billy Crystal, this guy is for real with his minders hovering over m, so at w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E

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this point am I glad I have Italian blood in my veins and that's where I want it to stay. Now I knew singing Nessun Dorma at Anfield would come in handy one day, imagine the scene, I'm stood there, on the rooftop of the Hiatt, soaking wet in my now transparent Calvins, with me packet in full view, singin' Nessun Dorma for all I'm worth to a full blown Sicilian mobster who makes Tony Soprano look like Danny De Vito, it was either that or face the prospect of possibly swimming with some fishes or ending up with body parts of animals in my bed. The look on the faces of the other guests round the pool was priceless as Lenny The Boss (a.k.a. Tony Soprano) gave me a bear hug, which I swear I still suffer from to this day. I go to Lenny's room and get out of my Calvins, on with my jeans and prepare to set off to go to the Whiskey to meet up with some friends for a couple of beers then off to the Rainbow for a pizza, 'coz the Rainbow does the best pizza outside of Italy. Driving away from the Hiatt I hear shouting from the roof, as I look up a couple of Italian birds are throwing my Calvin's down, shouting “you've left your undies”, unfortunately they end up in the top of a tree outside the Hiatt, ah well there's a free ad up in LA for Calvin's I suppose. Arrive at the rainbow, we all grab our food and gorge ourselves, then, out the corner of me eye I notice a familiar hat, I know that hat, I've seen it a thousand times before, it's the 'Ace of Spades' himself, Lemmy. I duly pay my respects, then it's off to another party with more people, we keep gathering people as we go. The party's at Dougie's, a TV sound engineer, the party would be in full swing only the bartender hasn't turned up, me being me I volunteer but only till midnight, now if the truth be told I'm not really a bartender and I don't know what goes in what or how much, so I make up 2 pitchers one a Margharita and one a Maitai, I don't know how wrong I got the recipes but within a couple of hours everyone was completely shitfaced and licking the remnants out of the glasses, midnight duly came, “that's it” I shouted “I'm in the pool” I walk from behind the bar, slip off my shoes and nonchalantly drop my jeans like some would be male stripper, it's only at this point I realise my Calvins are up a tree outside the Hyatt! No need to worry before I know it every ones got there's off and we're all in the pool.

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

CHRIS ISSACS DAY

DAY NTA

Spend the day with Chris Issacs and his band down at Candice's new studio, Sage and Sound. Chris is recording his new album, it sounds great and the band members are all cool. They tell me the tale of when they were in Amsterdam gigging, after the show they come across four dead fit birds in all their finery, they try to chat them up, Chris is looking on from the sidelines. He tells me that it looked like a struggle, sign language abounded, they must be foreign he thought, the band come back all wearing disgruntled faces, “what's up, no luck?” “Nah couldn't understand a word they said” “are they German or something” “Nah they're English, from Liverpool, like him, we've not understood a word he has said for the past two hours either. Rehearse for a few hours; get a call from England Red Bull want to license some of my tracks, for their forthcoming DVD. Nice one! Yet another brick in the wall!

The phone rings, it's me mate Joey, Joey's an Hawaiian model, six pack dude with flashing teeth, you know the type, you would never get tired of punching their face in. “I'm goin' down to the ad agency” he tells me “do you want to come?” “why not?” Joey picks me up and off we go. “Go in there” Joey says, so I go into this room, sat behind some tables are a couple of birds and a bloke, well I'd been in the desert earlier that day doing some photos and my tongue was like a camel's armpit! what ever that's like, I don't know, why do people say that? has some one actually gone up to a camel and compared their tongue to it's armpit in some spurious scientific test or other and anyway I thought camel's had legs not arms, anyways, I tell these people of my plight the next thing is I am offered an ad contract for TV and print “put it there” the guy says I duly do, so now I'm a fucking model as well, but I never got me water and me tongues still like a camel's armpit. Gotta get goin' got a gig tonight...

HEF87 HEF87

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Pics: Wayne Herrschaft

So just who is this bizarro band of degenerates? Truth be told, it’s not a band as you know it! Van Helsings Curse is Hallowe’en concept. This little photo story skirts but the edges of the show - you really have to see it in the flesh to get the gist. And the ringleader of this unlikely satanic charade... none other than Dee Snider himself. If you look closely, you can probably pick out the other luminaries in the show. It was just so cool, we figured we’d spalsh it about a bit! Get yourself an air ticket and get your ass over there next year... meanwhile, go check it out at www.vanhelsingscurse.com

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burn in hell... It’s the end of the year as we know it. It went by in the blink of an eye and here we stand in the ashes - was it good for you too? It was pretty good from where we’re standing - check it out with our inane year end poll. We couldn;t agree on anything if we tried y’know... Sion: “I fell in love with Coheed badly this year. There’s nothing that comes close for me but there have been some huge slabs of rock that have fuelled the car, if you know what I mean. Looking back, you can’t complain about a year that started with Velvet Revolver and ended with C&C!”

8. Labyrinthe 9. American Splendor 10. Tommyland

Albums: 1.Coheed & Cambria – Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through The Eyes Of Madness. Do you believe in love at first sight? This isn’t the place for you if you do. This is love of a higher order. Walk away now or become infected with the virus.

2. Papa Roach – Getting Away With Murder Shoved out of the number one spot at the very last minute, Murder has been on the stereo nearly every day since it arrived. If you heard the first one and didn’t like it, you’re not alone – but this rocks! 3. Nickelback – All The Right Reasons Sometimes a band just needs to do what it does. A bunch of great songs wrapped up in some tasty riffs and a cool voice. Job done. 4. Seether – Karma and Effect 5. Forty Deuce – Nothing to Lose 6. The Tea Party - Seven Circles 7. Alice Cooper – Dirty Diamonds 8. Tommy Lee – Tommyland: the Ride 9. Beautiful Creatures - Deuce 10. Audioslave – Out of Exile Books: 1. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell 2. Black Angel 3. Anansi Boys 4. V for Vendetta 5. WE3 6. Lifeless 7. Ghost of a Smile

Gigs: 1. Velvet Revolver – Hammersmith Carling Apollo 2. Alice Cooper/Twisted Sister – Brighton 3. Zakk Wylde – London Astoria 4. Audioslave – Brixton Academy 5. InMe – Brighton Concorde 6. Lordi – Download 7. Motley Crue – Wembley 8.

Stereophonics – Brighton 9. Dressed to Kill – Kiss Expo 10. Live 8 Kahn: Albums:

1= Nickelback – All The Right Reasons Everything a rock album should be and more – hasn't been out of my car since the day I got it 1= Ricky Warwick – Love Many, Trust Few Treading the same path as Tattoos And Alibis, Ricky proves again that you can be heavy as fuck while playing an acoustic 2 Thunder – The Magnificent Seventh A glorious return to form by arguably Britain's best rock band. They're not breaking new ground, but they're having a hell of a lot of fun 3. Juliette And The Licks – You're Speaking My Language Actresses aren't supposed to be musicians – and certainly aren't supposed to produce albums like this. Get off the screen, Jules, your band needs you 4. Nural – Weight Of The World 5. Dogs – Turn Agsinst This Land 6. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – Howl 7. Buzzkill – Driven By Loss 8. Stereophonics – Language, Sex, Violence, Other 9. Within Temptation – The Silent Force 10. Fields of the Nephilim – Mourning Sun Gigs: 1. Foo Fighters, T In The Park Just fucking fantastic. Nothing more, nothing less. 2. Scissor Sisters, V Festival Non-stop party. And the final encore of Sufragete City was sublime. 3. Rob Plant, V Festival Imperious. Showed the younger bands how it's done. 4. Dogs, T In The Park 5. The Subways – T In The Park 6. Joseph Arthur, V Festival 7. Tara Blaise, T In The Park 8. Kaiser Chiefs – T In The Park 9. Thunder, Sheffield 10. Motley Crue, Wembley

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Mike: “I do movies, so you can have that list instead - now fuck off, I’m busy!” 1. Sin City Old-school noir meets modern technology and hyper-violence. Eyeball burstingly good. 2. Downfall Brave move to show Hitler as a kiddiecuddling dog lover when he wasn't orchestrating the execution of millions. Beautifully filmed, brilliantly acted. 3. Charlie and The Chocolate Factory Only the songs let it down. Burton is back in business, ably assisted by master weirdsmith Johnny Depp. 4. Star Wars Ep. III 5. War of the Worlds 6. The Aristocrats 7. Cinderella Man 8. The Island 9. Serenity 10. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Andy: Albums: 1. Frameshift – An Absence of Empathy Fantastic playing, flawless singing, intricate melodies, interesting concept. This is as close to perfection as it gets. 2. James LaBrie – Elements of Persuasion Solo album from Dream Theater frontman that’s far superior to the bands own latest effort. Heavy,

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complex and first class performances all round. 3. The Tea Party – Seven Circles The perfect answer to mundane modern rock music. Full of melody, full of quality playing and full of groove. 4. Candlemass - Candlemass 5. Pallas – The Dreams of Men 6. Primal Fear – Seven Seals 7. Cathedral – The Garden of Unearthly Delights 8. Grand Magus – Wolf’s Return 9. Stream of Passion – Embrace The Storm 10. Kamelot – The Black Halo 11. The Duke – My Kung Fu Is Good (Mine goes to 11, because I rock just that little bit more than everyone else). (er.. yeah.. completely original idea bro - Ed). Gigs: 1. Rammstein @ Brixton Academy, London – February 3 Heavy metal theatre. Truly amazing stage show that enhances, without

overshadowing, a top-drawer performance. 2. The Duke @ Borderline, London – May 1 The most energy in a single gig, ever. Pure, unbridled fun. 3. Opeth @ Mean Fiddler, London – September 8 Unparalleled musicianship and song-craft. Truly breathtaking to watch. Top 10 CD Booklets Because I don’t read fiction, and there are only so many biographies around: 1. Ozzy Osbourne – Prince of Darkness 2. Frameshift – An Absence of Empathy 3. The Duke – My Kung Fu Is Good (because I’m in it!) 4. Arena – Pepper’s Ghost 5. Thunder – The Magnificent Seventh 6. Iommi - Fused 7. Bruce Dickinson – Tyranny of Souls 8. Fozzy – All That Remains 9. Hammerfall – Chapter V: Unbent, Unbowed, Unbroken 10. Black Label Society – Mafia Roger: Albums: 1. Collective Soul - Youth Released in late 2004, the nod to Bowie, The Cars and Cheap Trick found a semipermanent home in the CD player throughout this year. 2. Judas Priest - Angel Of Retribution “Deal With The Devil” is brilliant enough on its own, but the first Priest album in fifteen years to feature Halford stands firmly complete as a new classic. 3. King's X - Ogre Tones Undeniably the best King's X record in too many years, it showcases the band coming full circle without sounding redundant or nostalgic. 4. Soilwork - Stabbing The Drama 5. The Black Halos - Alive Without Control 6. Def Leppard - Rock Of Ages-The Ultimate Collection

...the 2005 hit lists

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7. The Quazimotors - Black Is The New Everything 8. DevilDriver - The Fury Of Our Maker's Hand 9. Iron Maiden - Death On The Road 10. Trashlight Vision - Trashlight Vision (Unreleased Demo) Gigs: 1. Skid Row - Arms Park, Manchester, New Hampshire. WGIR Rock 101 Sky Show. A moment caught in time as an unforgettable memory that became the liner notes for the Power Ballads Gold CD. 2. W.A.S.P. - House Of Blues, Orlando, Florida W.A.S.P. performing at full throttle intensity and hitting every mark with a set that looked ferocious and sounded even better. 3. Sammy Hagar and the Waboritas (with Michael Anthony) Fox Theater, Mashantucket, Connecticut More like a party than a rock and roll gig, Michael Anthony joined in for some choice Van Halen tunes, rounding out Sammy's own tequila-drenched choruses. 4. Mötley Crüe - Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut 5. Def Leppard w/Tesla - Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut 6 Collective Soul - Webster Theater, Hartford, Connecticut 7. Night Ranger - Wolf Den, Uncasville, Connecticut 8. Journey -

Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut 9. Nine Inch Nails w/Queens Of The Stone Age - TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts 10. Queensrÿche - Webster Theater, Hartford, Connecticut Louise: 1. Circa Survive - Juturna 2. Life of Agony - Broken Valley 3. Alice Cooper - Dirty Diamonds 4. SOAD - Mesmerize (sorry Sion!) 5. Funeral for a Friend Hours (sorry again!) 6. Bullet for My Valentine - The Poison 7. Trivium - Ascendancy 8. My Chemical Romance - Three cheers for sweet revenge 9. Juliette and the Licks - You?re speaking my language 10. My Ruin - The Brutal Language Gigs: 1. Circa Survive @ Bar Academy, Birmingham 2. Iron Maiden @ Carling Weekend, Leeds 3. Trivium @ Download Festival, Donington Sharon: Albums: 1. Editors – The Back Room Band of the year for me – gloriously passionate, melodic and addictive. 2. Neon Zoo – Heaven Sin Choc-full of alternative anthems, fuzzy beats and dirty guitar riffs. 3. Him – Dark Light Like a goth Bon Jovi – I know I shouldn’t, but I really do. 4. 3 Stages of Pain – Black Heart Blues 5. Interlock – Crisis//Reinvention 6. Skinny Puppy – The Greater Wrong of the Right 7. Emanuel – Soundtrack to a Headrush 8. Nural – The Weight of the World 9. Nine Inch Nails – With Teeth 10. (We are Scientists) – With Love and Squalor

Gigs: 1. Editors (Rescue Rooms Notts/L’boro University) Blowing away all competition with more charisma than is surely legal. 2. Henry Rollins (Hammersmith Academy) Henry’s spoken word is more rock n roll than most people’s music. 3. Bad Religion (Birmingham Academy) Forget the corporate posers – this is proper punk rock. 4. Juliette and the Licks (Birmingham Academy) 5. Gliss (Birmingham Barfly) 6. The Young Gods (Birmingham Barfly) 7. Emanuel (Birmingham Academy) 8. 3 Stages of Pain (Junktion 7 Notts) 9. Basilica (The Charlotte, Leicester) 10. Neon Zoo (Whitby Festival) Chrissie: Albums: 1. Alice Cooper – Dirty Diamonds Dirty Diamonds simultaneously combines the rock 'n' roll swagger of early 'Stones with the edgy sound of modern Detroit rock whilst still keeping Alice's dark humour and spooky twist that we all know and love. This little gem proves that even in 2005 the Coop is still going strong. 2. System of a Down – Mesmerize A schizophrenic explosion of pop, rock and metal, with breath-takingly intricate and experimental arrangements and enough

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infectious melodies to make your brain-ache Mesmerize does exactly what the name suggests. 3. Coheed and Cambria – Good Apollo I'm Burning Star IV: Volume 1: From Fear Through The Eyes of Madness Passionately intense and powerfully intelligent, something altogether more sinister lurks behind Coheed and Cambria's colossal pop melodies to create an album that is nothing short of epic. 4. Nine Inch Nails – With Teeth 5. Queen Adreena – The Butcher and the Butterfly 6. Trivium – Ascendancy 7. Opeth – Ghost Reveries

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8. HIM – Dark Light 9. Nim Vind – The Fashion of Fear 10. Bullet For My Valentine – The Poison Andrea: Albums: 1. Kasabian - Kasabian 2. Thunder - The Magnificent Seventh 3. Queens of the Stone Age Lullabies 4. Aerosmith - Rockin' the Joint 5. Motley Crue - Red, White and Crue 6. Kaiser Chiefs Employment 7. Gwen Stefani – Love Angel Music Baby 8. System of A Down Mezmerize 9. Rage Against the Machine - Battle of Los Angeles 10. Layer Cake Soundtrack LIVE 1. Motley Crue - Wembley Arena 2. Motley Crue - Wembley Arena 3. Motley Crue - Wembley Arena 4. Motley Crue 5. Motley Crue 6. Motley Crue 7. Motley Crue

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

8. Motley Crue 9. Motley Crue 10. Motley Crue Not ACTUALLY cheating - as it really was THAT good!!! Photographers are people too! Usually forgotten in the pits of hell down at the front, who better to judge the year than them! Chiaki: 1) 21 Jan Velvet Revolver at Brixton Great band to photograph as everyone is a rock star. 2) 10-12 June Download Festival Enjoyed shooting so many bands in 3 days despite having to dodge various flying objects while shooting! 3) 14 August HIM at Summer Sonic Festival in Tokyo - Always wanted to see these guys in Japan so personally special moment. 4) 9 April My Chemical Romance at Astoria 5) 15 Oct New Model Army at Astoria 6) 3 June Black Label Society at Astoria 7) 4 August INME at Concorde, Brighton 8) 4 Sept Within Temptation at Astoria 9) 23 March Lordi at Scala 10) 1 Oct Tom McRae at Shepherd's Bush Empire ...and that my dear friends was 2005. It’s been an odd one to say the least, but entertainment wise, I’d say it’s been value for money! 2006? Bring it on 029

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Beneath A Funeral Sun

Between Cathedral and Candlemass an entire genre was created. How do you continue to innovate in a realm where you are the original innovators? How do you avoid becoming imitators of yourselves? Lee Dorrian, lead vocalist and founder of Cathedral talks us through new album The Garden of Unearthly Delights and tells us how in as down-to-earth and honest a manner as is humanly possible. A true legend.

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How have people reacted to the new record so far? Overall I must say it's been very positive. It's the most positive response to an album we've had for quite some time. It's quite ironic in a way because we all personally think it's one of the best albums we've done in a long while. Believe me we're not the kind of band that will say we've done something really good unless we have! If we feel like we've done something average, we'll say. We're quite happy with this one and it's quite enlightening to know that

people seem to be taking to it in a positive way. When you started making this one, did you having anything in mind? I think after we did the Caravan Beyond Redemption album, I personally got a bit, I wouldn't say disillusioned with the way the band was going, but just a bit like 'oh it's all starting to sound a bit nice and a bit safe', and we'd kind of pigeonholed ourselves a bit with this style, and I felt there was no risks in the music anymore. w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E

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Coming from a punk background, I don't like the idea of the music being safe, or becoming something that's just like a commodity, and I think we were in danger of becoming that. That was just me personally, I'm sure the other guys in the band probably wouldn't agree, and certainly didn't agree at the time. After Caravan… I sort of made this stand and said the next album's gotta be completely different, it's got to get back to what the band meant in the first place, strip down the whole production ethic and get back to the primitive way in which we had the hunger to be in this band in the first place. My biggest fear is that one day you become complacent. So I got a bit wound up and said we've got to make the music heavier and get raw again. I guess it's because a lot of my favourite bands over the years, by the time they've been together for five or six years, they've started becoming quite lame, and I just never wanted that to happen to us. That's why I insisted we do an album like Endtyme. After Endtyme, we did The VIIth Coming, and I took a step back. I didn't get on my high horse about how the album should sound, I left it to the other

like there's the long song on side two and varied songs on side one. I had that idea a couple of albums ago, even on Endtyme I thought we should do something like that, but I never really pushed it until this one. This is our eighth album and we thought we should try and do something a bit more radical. We used to do EPs many years ago where we were a bit more experimental, and we haven't been that experimental on our albums ever, really. The fact that we haven't allowed ourselves to get into that environment where we're completely freeform, I kind of miss that. So this album was like an album of twohalves, and the time that you'd spend on writing twelve songs, I wanted to spend on writing six. So you could spend a lot more attention to detail on those six, as opposed to if you had six other songs, they'd probably be diluted because of the time factor you had to spend on them. The other songs are verse, chorus, verse, and they go their own way, but it gave us time to really concentrate on those songs and see the other side of the album as being a different concept altogether. And it broke the whole monotony of writing as well.

working towards it, and when we actually got to write it we locked ourselves away on this island for five days and wrote all of that song in four and half days. There was a basic structure. There's the verses and choruses, part of the middle section, then the last verse and chorus, and we built the whole song around that. So some parts came from jams and other parts came from riffs that Gaz (Jennings, guitar) had or Leo (Smee, bass) had and we just managed to be able to step back from it and look in, and keep stepping back and looking in, and get to the stage where we felt it all flows quite nicely. A few of us are really into obscure underground music from the late 60s, early 70s, and collect LPs. Mainly the underground bands that were never that successful. There's something quite special about them. Groups like Yes and Genesis and ELP I can't say I dig at all. But bands like Aardvark or Supersister or Blast Furnace, those really underground bands had something really fucking unique going on. It was coming out of the psychedelic era going into the progressive era when no one really knew what it was and it was

“I look around at music today, it's so fucking categorised and so boxed in and so fucking definable, that I don't really want Cathedral to be a band like that” guys really, without having much of an opinion on it. I liked all the material, so we just went along with it. This one wasn't as easy to make. We came up with a bunch of songs not long after the last album came out. They were good songs, but we've been together for fifteen years, they're not that fucking good. If we're still going to be doing this we still need to be on top of our game. I kind of felt a bit half-arsed about the songs, to be honest with you. So we sat on the fence and contemplated it all for a couple of years. We spent those two years discovering what we didn't want to do, as opposed to what we did. And I'm so glad we didn't go into the studio before we actually did. The state of metal at the moment, and where we fit into it is like no-man's-land. We still believe in what we do, but if we are still going to be doing this we've still got to at least keep making our fucking stamp on the scene. We won't be beaten down. We won't be buried by trends. Even if we are, in the mainstream perception of things, we won't allow ourselves to feel like that as a band. You could put it in a more factual way, B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

Lee dashes off to shut the dressing room door as Grand Magus have rather inconsiderately started their set. On the subject of the big one, The Garden, that was totally unexpected stuff. It's such an impressive track. I don't expect that kind of… prog, from Cathedral. Well, I think it's no secret that we're fans of underground progressive music from the early 70s. We have done a song like that before, actually, but it was a long time ago, about '93. We did a song called Voyage of The Homeless Sapien, it was on the b-side of Statik Majik. But that was so off-the-wall, so freeform, that it was almost borderline comedy. Whereas this one we didn't want it to be a goofy track. We wanted to take it a lot more seriously, and have it properly structured, to have a continuing theme and to go everywhere without really backing off, just follow it's own path while going through a multitude of atmospheres and styles. It wasn't actually as hard to come up with it as you might imagine. I think that because we had a few months to think about it before we started writing it, subconsciously amongst ourselves we were kind of

kind of indefinable. Until it became 1972 and Rick Wakeman started, and all that kind of pompous shit started happening. There was a real special period of music there where it was so free, so unhindered by categorisation. It was just brave and bold and broke down every fucking musical barrier you could imagine. I'm not trying to say that we're trying to replicate the sound or the style of one of those bands, it's more the way I look around at music today, it's so fucking categorised and so boxed in and so fucking definable, that I don't really want Cathedral to be a band like that. OK, we are metal, basically, but we are quite open minded in what we listen to. So it's more the freedom aspect of that period that we're inspired by. I think people in bands now just get their hair cut and go “du-ga du-ga dur” and scream and I don't feel any soul in the music anymore. In a lot of it anyway, the mainstream stuff especially. Last words? “We're working on a European tour, which I guess at the end of it will be UK as well. That's with Grand Magus, and maybe Electric Wizard too, but we'll see.” Don't miss it. 031

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Soul Traders In the first part of a look at the Hellraiser movies, cenobite-celebrant Owen Williams flies the Bloodline colours… You’ve all seen Hellraiser. You all know about Pinhead, and the Cenobites, and the puzzlebox, Uncle Frank and Kirsty and Julia. The sleeper success of Clive Barker’s signature work in 1987 meant that sequels were a no-brainer, but it must have come as a surprise to many – not least to the writer/director – that this tiny adaptation of a little-read novella would spawn a franchise that would still be up and running almost twenty years later. A strangely low-key British horror film with American accents and an unusually adult supernatural sado-masochistic streak, Hellraiser would always be a strange proposition for an ongoing series, since its premise doesn’t lend itself well to formula, and the series has taken several years and a few failures to really find its feet. Hellbound (1988) was up first: an unsuccessful attempt to replicate the success of the original by resurrecting every character (bar one) and repeating every motif ad-infinitum, and Hell on Earth (1992), explicitly American and obsessed with Pinhead, was even worse. Only with the make-or-break watershed of Bloodline (1996) did things start to look up. Yes, I said things started to look up with Bloodline. Bear with me… Co-existing with the early films was a monthly Hellraiser comicbook series (out of print for a

while but gradually becoming available again in collected-edition paperbacks), which seemed to immediately understand how to expand Barker’s original vision. Rather than concentrate on particular characters, the comics latched on to the rich mythology that Barker had created, with dozens of writers and artists contributing imaginatively to an anthology series that rightly identified the puzzlebox as the star. That isn’t to diminish Doug Bradley or the undoubted iconic stature of Pinhead; it’s just that Pinhead is so much more effective when used sparingly, and his “piss elegant” (to quote screenwriter Pete Atkins) verbal gymnastics become simply a distraction when he’s constantly on screen. Far more than Pinhead, it’s the box (not unlike HP Lovecraft’s Necronomicon) that’s the link between the countless otherwise disparate narratives, and it’s precisely this realisation that takes the later movie instalments into far more interesting directions than the obvious Pinhead-must-bedestroyed-again-and-again route. A portmanteau movie containing three linked stories tracing the history of the puzzlebox, Bloodline can hardly be called an unqualified success, but it’s a necessary step along a difficult road to the series’ reinvention, and deserves more than to be written off for its ignominious

Alan Smithee director credit. Debut director Kevin Yagher (the FX whiz behind the jaw-dropping climax to Society) had his name removed from the film after excessive studio interference demanded more of Pinhead, but scraps of his and Pete Atkins’ vision remain, particularly in the 18th century section which follows the film’s sci-fi prologue. Beautifully evoking its period setting, this segment deals with the grotesque libertine Luc de L’Isle’s commissioning the building of the puzzlebox from local toymaker Phillip L’Merchant, and with the summoning from Hell of slinky demon and future-cenobite Angelique. Unfortunately this fertile ground then gives way to the feeble and overlong 20th century midsection (which features the puzzlebox skyscraper glimpsed at the end of Hell on Earth, and a fucking lame cenobite dog) before the movie picks up again for a spectacular – if daft – denouement onboard a space station in the 22nd century. So with Hell on Earth drawing a line under Pinhead’s backstory, and Bloodline explicitly exploring – arguably to breaking point - the mythology for the first time outside the comics, the decks are effectively cleared for a series reboot. Inferno (2000) took six years to crawl from the Bloodline wreckage, and perhaps because of this is refreshingly uncluttered by continuity and baggage. Ditching the S&M almost entirely, Inferno uses a surreal mystery framework to constantly wrong-footing effect, as it charts puzzlebox-owning sleazy corrupt cop Craig Scheffer’s downward spiral while investigating a series of grisly murders The fifth Hellraiser presents us with glimpsed cenobites kept firmly in the shadows, a committed performance from a down-on-hisluck lead actor who might have been expected to just coast through, an impressively sustained ratcheting up of tension, and in one extraordinary scºene, a bar frequented by supernatural gangsters and blank-faced cenobite cowboys that wouldn’t be out of place in a David Lynch movie. Pinhead is only in Inferno for three minutes, and Barker petulantly slammed it as an “abomination”, but he couldn’t be more wrong. Never explicit about what’s really happening and what isn’t (until the slightly disappointing twist revelation at the end), Inferno is another flawed-butbrave step in the right direction, preparing the ground for the confident, elegant home-run of Hellseeker... This look at the Hellraiser movies continues next issue…

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Support your local dealeR COMALIES Evanescence owe everything to Lacuna Coil. With a hotly tipped brand new album to come next year, the current album ‘Comalies’ is an essential purchase now.

TINNITUS “…the most gloriously clichéd collection of sleaze-drizzled, diesel-fuelled hard rock nuggets this side of 1989!” Kerrang! Tinnitus: The Best Of BYB & Bonus Disc “Live In Paris”

Paradise regained for Paradise Lost... "...the band who spawned the whole damn genre, are back with heavier wares....expect them to once again lead the pack." Metal Hammer buy from one of the following century media dealers and receive a free sampler cd: aberdeen - one up / ashford - music room / ayr - planet of sound / banbury - record savings / belfast - hectors house / bexleyheath - rock matrix / biddulph - loud one / birmingham - tempest records / bolton - x records / boston - never mind the music / bury - vibes / camberley - the rock box / cardiff - spillers / chatham - sounds perfect / chelmsford - slipped discs / chesham - track records / coleraine - grahams records / cranbrook - banghams music / derby - reveal / diss - revolution / doncaster - track records / dover - lets buy some music / dublin - sound cellar / dudley- st records / dumfries - barnstorm / dunfermline - 3rd base / durham - concepts / east grinstead alice's records / east grinstead - jingles music / edinburgh - avalanche / elgin - sound n vision / faversham - gatefield sounds / folkstone music room / galway - zhivago / glasgow - avalanche / gosport - reflex records / hailsham - jingles music / herne bay - gatefield sounds / high wycombe - counter culture / hitchin - cd heaven / hythe - lets buy some music / lancashire - townsend / leeds - crash records / london - sister ray / melton mowbray - pendulum / middleton - music choice / newark - r&k / newcastle upon tyne - j g windows / newcastle upon tyne - steel wheels / preston - action records / saffron walden - chew & osborne / salisbury - stand out / scunthorpe - record village / sheerness - gatefield sounds / st neots - barneys / stirling - europa music / swansea - derricks / swansea - musiquarium / wakefield - hellraiser records / whitstable - gatefield sounds / worcester - face the music / yeovil - acorn / york - track records

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Nural are five Californians with an average age of 20. Their debut album The Weight of the World is being well received and looks certain to propel them towards rock fame and fortune. On tour in the UK for the first time, they’re still slightly dazed by all the attention they’re getting. They’re even surprised that I know all their names. Nural’s story began in May of 2000 when singer Kyle was only fourteen. They’ve held more or less the same line-up from the start with guitarist Ryan joining in 2003. Singer (and soon-to-be poster boy) Kyle fills in the details, “We all met at school. Actually we didn’t like each other at first ‘cause we were in rival bands. Then we became friends and joined forces.” Guitarist Ryan was discovered in an unconventional rock ‘n’ roll venue. “We met Ryan at our church and he started playing with us too.” Don’t you hate it when rockstars get all clean and tidy? But Nural aren’t a ‘Christian band’ and they don’t want to convert you. “Well, I know

for each person it’s different,” says Kyle, “Me personally, I’m not extremely open about it, but with my lyrics I want to make a positive difference and not say ‘f this, f that’ all the time. My beliefs are positive rather than negative, so I like to share that through my music. But it’s not like a preachy ‘if you don’t believe the same thing I do, I don’t like you’ kind of thing.” Apart from all the thanking of God that exists on their album sleeve, you might also get the impression that they didn’t have such a great time at school. This observation makes them laugh. “It’s really weird that you picked that out,” says Kyle. “We all, and I speak for everyone, we all hated school. We never even talked about it, because we hated it so much. It was pretty bad.” Strangely enough then, they talk about their hometown of La Crescenta with more affection than you might expect. Bassist Kyle Black rejected the idea that it’s the kind of town to turn on kids showing any tendency to be ‘different’. In fact, La Crescenta has a lively music

scene. “There have always been bands, but we were the ones who stuck together, started going out of town to play. We were the ones who stuck at it. As soon as Nural started to take off, there were suddenly about a million and one bands. We were one of the originals I guess. We were always the big dogs!” This is said with a self-deprecating humour. In fact, Nural are so easy-going and good natured it makes me wonder if they’ve realised that they’re on the verge of becoming very successful. “We’re just working really hard,” says Kyle, “There’s a metal scene, a hardcore scene, but we’re trying to find our scene.” I suggest that Nural’s music is tough to categorise because there are so many different influences openly on display. For someone who’s listened to rock music for many years (like me) it’s easy to hear elements of grunge, metal, nu-metal and a host of other ingredients chucked into the mix. Kyle Black tells me, “We all listen to such different music. No-one in the band just listens to one type of music or tries to

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Young, gifted and Californian, They might look like nippers, but Nural insist you take them seriously:

be like one particular band.” The only question that’s greeted with blank looks and silence concerns defining the ‘Nural sound.’ Quite rightly, they don’t intellectualise their music. They just feel it. “We don’t think about what we want to sound like, we just let it happen. Our manager always used to try to get us to write certain types of songs but it never really worked that way.” Ryan nods his agreement, “We don’t force anything. If we feel like we’re forcing anything, we just stop. We go and get some coffee or we call it a night.” Nural are well known for maintaining close links to their fans over the internet. I tell them of the recent British phenomenon where indie-band Arctic Monkeys grabbed a number one single without having a record deal, by working so hard at promoting themselves – largely on the internet. Nural love this idea and all immediately start to talk about the cultural icon that is ‘myspace’ – an internet site

than enables fans to interact with their idols and, importantly, allows musicians to do a lot of their own marketing. Like more and more bands today, they’re sceptical of record labels. They’d assumed that getting a record deal meant they wouldn’t have to do all their own promotions and administration. “But it hasn’t been like that,” says Kyle without a trace of bitterness or disappointment, “Basically, getting signed is important only so you’re able to say that you’re signed - so people take you seriously. We learnt that when we played on the Warped tour. None of the other bands treated us with any respect really just because we were an unsigned band.” So it’s back to the computer then? “We’re going to be home in December and we’re going to be working our butts off on myspace.” That’s not all they’ll be doing. With a US tour expected from January until the end of summer, and the new album to get cracking with, it looks like they’ll be busy for some time to come. They’d better buy laptops.

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Irritating people use the word ‘surreal’ far too much. “I can’t believe I bumped into you in the cereal aisle – that’s so surreal!” No, you live in the same town and shop at the same place. It’s coincidence. “Oh my god! I was just thinking about phoning you, and then my mobile rang. That. Is. Surreal.” No, it’s just that you’ve both just finished watching The X Factor, and only have eachother as friends. However, I recently found myself talking to a man about beer when he all of a sudden broke into the voice of my favourite cartoon character, meanwhile a six foot version of an animated homicidal infant gave me the finger in the background, just as a man with red smoke pouring from his boots landed silently from thousands of feet above me… and I struggle to describe it as anything other than surreal. Although Dali’s moustache would straighten in disgust at the lack of Eskimos hatching from eggs or toast eating itself, I reckon it comes closer to the surrealist ideal than most sofa-bound fuckwits get. Perhaps I should explain. In a rare move, the straight-to-DVD feature-length adaptation of the cult series Family Guy - Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story - was given a full-on Hollywood cinema premiere, and somehow, Zero was present at the sparkly spectacle with a front row seat. Family Guy began in 1999 and was an immediate cult hit. A further two series were commissioned but during its run Fox frequently moved the show around with little or no notice – inevitably, ratings suffered, fans moaned and it was cancelled during the third season. Within weeks, over 100,000 people had signed a petition protesting the axing of the show. In 2003, regular repeats of the programme on late-night Cartoon Network meant that fans soon sent it racing up the ratings chart. The show found further success when it was finally released on DVD in the US – outselling all other TVbased DVD releases that year, including Sex and the City and Friends. The excellent Cartoon Network ratings combined with the extraordinary and unexpected DVD sales led to Fox announcing that the series was to be revived. “It wasn’t all that surprising when we were cancelled,” says creator and voice of many of the characters, Seth MacFarlane. “But in the back of my mind I hoped and suspected that we’d be back in some form.” The unanimous feeling is that it’s great that the show is back, with everyone B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

seeming to adore it and worship MacFarlane. Alia Shawkat, star of the grossly underappreciated comedy Arrested Development, is more anxious to sing the praises of the cartoon than of her own struggling series: “I love everything about it, especially the cutaway moments, and the fact that there are a million characters,” she says. “I’d love to be in it, because I already quote from the show every single day of my life. I’m really looking forward to this movie.” It’s not just sitcom actors turning out in support either. Some big-name stars are flying the flag as well, including Family Guy guest star and all-round lovely lady Drew Barrymore. “I’m a huge fan, I love the writing, I love the characters, and I think that Seth

MacFarlane is brilliant,” she beams. “It’s phenomenal. I asked to be in the movie, because I played a small part last season and had so much fun.” Conversation turns to the A-lister’s own work, in particular another cult favourite, Donnie Darko. “When I think about it, there are parallels between Family Guy and Donnie Darko,” she says. “They both have really strong, although very different, individual voices, and both exist directly because of people power. The people got Donnie Darko a release, and the people got Family Guy back on the air.” Meanwhile, the best a passing Robert Downey Jr can manage is “Uh… it’s funny.” Well, yes it is – obviously, but there are

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Griffin Family Values so many more reasons to love the series, including the out-of nowhere musical numbers, and the obscure references that crop up from time to time. These have included William Shatner’s musical career, The Incredible Hulk, Optimus Prime, Willy Wonka and Kiss lyrics. “Y’know, if a certain small demographic get it, then it’s worth it,” explains Seth MacFarlane, and that’s what makes the show so special, and close to Zero’s own attitude. So what if not everybody gets it or likes it? As long as someone does, then it’s worth it. The series is famed for its edgy humour – most recently pissing off AIDS groups with a scene involving Peter breaking some pretty bad news to a young gay man, with the use of a barbershop quartet – but has there been anything that they weren’t able to get away with? “We’ve come pretty close to the edge of good taste,” says MacFarlane. “Sometimes I guess we stepped over that line, like the scene with the JFK Pez dispenser - but there were some things we couldn’t get away with at all. “One thing that springs to mind was a joke about The Last Supper. Everything in society is ripe for parody except religion – for some reason it’s sacred,” he laughs. Bad language is also on the censors’ watch-list. “You’re allowed one bitch. At two they start getting jumpy, and any more than that and we have to trade-off. Like, we can swap an ass for a bastard, and a crap for a dick or a whore. The main issue is about quantity.” Alex Borstein, who writes and voices

If fan power brought Family Guy back from the dead - we say start campaigning for these long-dead gems now! Futurama Long after The Simpsons stopped being funny, Matt Groening's Futurama was still tickling the right places. With the yellow family still trading on past glories, Futurama was canned after just four seasons. Shameful. There are rumours of straight-to-DVD releases in the future. We'll see. Quantum Leap Ignoring the episodes when Sam Beckett leaps into the body of a space-chimp or something equally crap, Quantum Leap was TV genius and could have easily carried on for longer. The thing that really sucks, is that Sam never made it home after sticking by Scott Bakula for years, that's not what we want to hear dammit!

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Street Hawk It doesn't matter what anyone says, Street Hawk kicked Knight Rider's ass. Fact. A desk-bound cop secretly fights crime as the test pilot for a prototype combat motorcycle that can top 300mph. How's that not better than a camp talking car? It only lasted thirteen episodes. Probably because the main character was black… if the motorbike can be classed a character.

The Tripods The 80s BBC adaptation of John Christopher's trilogy of novels was set in a futuristic, medieval time (I know) where the locals were under the control of enormous mechanical tripods. Massively expensive and ambitious, with impressive visual effects, The Tripods was cancelled after the second series - leaving only a hazy memory of something strangely scary. The Lone Gunmen The three geeks who helped out Mulder and fantasised about Scully finally got their own show in 2001. Despite being far superior to the last few seasons of The X-Files, The Lone Gunmen was trashed after just one run. What is it with these people?! Will be released on R2 DVD in the New Year.

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Griffin Family Values Lois, the show’s wife and mother, agrees: “We do sometimes need to make changes, for example a Dirty Sanchez becomes a Muddy Ramirez.” However, the film puts an end to this self-censorship. “The film’s filthy and we really get to let rip,” grins Borstein. “Being back feels so fucking good.” “Exactly,” chips in MacFarlane. “The biggest achievement for me is that we can swear in the movie.” Mike Henry, who also writes and provides the voice of Cleveland, expands a little on this point: “With the movie, we could do and say whatever we wanted without the constraints of the network. We’re just honest. Often we point things out that noone else has said, and then afterwards

other people have the balls to agree. We do a lot more of that with this movie” It’s odd though, that a DVD should be released with such a fanfare. “It is, but DVDs have changed everything – particularly in our case,” says Henry. “DVD made us and put us on the map,” Borstein agrees, “and because of the nature of the show, with so many little jokes you can sometimes miss them, we were made for DVD.” “It was the DVD sales that brought us back,” says MacFarlane, “so it’s only right that we come back on DVD like this.” The cast and crew seem just as excited as the rabid fans are about the show’s unexpected return. Unlike other stars who work the crowd and tell the journalists want they want to

hear, most of the Family Guy team are clearly wasted before they even get onto the red carpet. There’s a party atmosphere, and everyone’s happy, and if you’re not, what the fuck are you doing here? “We would not exist right now if it wasn’t for DVD,” says MacFarlane. “Pissed-off fans don’t just have the option of writing letters that will be ignored anymore. Now that TV shows are released onto DVD with months, viewers can show their support using their wallets.” And the networks find money a little harder to ignore. Check out www.airnewzealand.com for information on their pretty damn-comfy London-LA service.

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You’ve got to love women. My normally supportive wife spends the days leading up to my interview with Stereophonics reminding me of their reputation for eating journalists for breakfast. The fact we’re meeting in the afternoon doesn’t do that much to relax me. Which just goes to show that a) you shouldn’t always listen to your wife, and b) reputations are 90 per cent myth...

Words: Kahn Johnson

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he truth is that the Welsh rockers (well, two thirds Welsh these days) are laid back and easy to talk to.

When I find my way to the backstage room at the Sheffield Arena set aside for the interview (tip: never believe a security guard who says the band haven’t arrived), bassist Richard Jones is strumming to himself. We’re soon joined by frontman/guitarist/genuinely cool fucker Kelly Jones, and newbie drummer Javier Weyler (who really ought to call himself Jones) and their reputation for being surly, snarly interviewees is blown out of the water. But where did it come from? “Not from us,” laughs Rich. “It’s just from previous interviews. You do the odd one or two bad interviews and I supposed you get tarnished. But that hasn’t happened to us, you know, since probably two albums ago.” The song Mr Writer is partly to blame for the myth being perpetuated, of course. “Well, that was just the one guy really,” stresses Kelly, “but it gets taken out of context and you get a reputation. “I think, rather than seeing it as one guy, they took it as all of them. If you take that song personally, and see yourself as the person in the song, then you are like that, you know? It’s up to you.” Of course, we’re not here to reflect in past glories/misunderstandings. The reason the boys are in Sheffield is part of the first leg of their sell-out tour of the UK to support the fantastic Language Sex Violence Other? The album is a return to the band’s debut (Word Gets Around), balls-to-the-wall rock and a marked departure from its predecessor, the darker You Gotta Go There To Come Back. The word I actually used was “mellow”, which isn’t something Kelly agreed with. “The reactions’s been really good,” says Rich. “We’ve been touring since February and the general reaction has been brilliant. “We’ve come back as a three piece, rather than where we left off on the last tour when there was seven of us on stage!” Which is how the band started. “Yeah,” agrees Kelly. “The band’s always been, traditionally I guess, a three piece, and we’ve always been a three-piece in the studio, but when we’ve added to the records you kinda need extra people to help you do that live. “It depends what directions the album makes you go really. If you’ve got gospel singers on there, or an acoustic, you need an extra singer and an extra guitar. “But this album was much more of the energy of the first album, even though it’s going forwards.” So what was it that led the band back in this direction, I wonder? There’s no clear-cut answer. “Each album we make tries to be different,” explains Kelly, “and each album has its own signature tune to it. “Would be pretty boring to make the same record every time. Word to Performance (And Cocktails, the follow-up) was a big jump, from there to the Jeep album (Just Enough Education To Perform) to You’ve Got To Go There To Come Back, they were all very different records. “The perception of the albums being mellower than they actually are I find a bit strange. I think people listen to the singles and think the whole album’s like that, and they weren’t really. 041

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Mr Jones & Me...

“This record was much more obvious to everyone that it was different. From beginning to end it was like 45 minutes or something, and it was bang bang all the way through.” Can’t argue with that. Even the slower songs like, say, Devil or Rewind, still have an edge and intensity. I’d even go as far as to say it’s got more energy than the band’s debut. “I think its better than the debut,” muses Kelly, “but it’s a different record. “People are always going to have their favourite record of you, and bands are always going to pick their latest record! “It was pretty much a reflection of where we were at live. We were really getting off on the live show, and the live show was very, kind of electric and balls out – we ditched the acoustic guitars for a bit. “You can get bored of noise and start listening to different things, Johnny Cash, say, Dylan, Neil Young, singer-songwriter things, and then you get bored of that and pick up the electric again. “We’re no different to the average person in the street. If you listen to dance music all the time, you’ll get bored of it and go and listen to something else. You keep 042

changing and whatever you’re listening to comes through in your writing, y’know?” Which makes me wonder if perhaps the guys had gone back to their record collections and dug out the things that got them going in the first place. Javier disagrees. “No not really, we actually listen to a lot of stuff, and a lot of current stuff. There are a lot of really good bands around, and we’re kinda constantly getting those albums and just to see what they’re on about. “For us it’s actually quite exciting, I think. Couple of years ago it was more a pop scene, but now its more a song writing scene, real bands playing, and for that to be happening around us is quite exciting I think. “We’ve been listening to some really classic stuff, like Dylan and Bob Marley, and we’ve been listening to the new Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Goldfrapp…” There’s a general agreement that Howl (Black Rebel’s new album) is fantastic, and I ask if the band have ever considered doing the stripped-back-to-basics kind of album that BRMC did. “We’ve done it!” chuckles Kelly dryly.

“We did it on the Jeep album, that’s why it was slagged off. It’s not the same sound, but the direction change is quite similar. You never heard an acoustic on a Black rebel album before, and now they’re trying to do Johnny Cash in a Led Zep style or something. That’s what’s kinda cool about it.” Of course, it’s not just the musical direction that’s changed. There’s a new face behind the drum kit as well. Obviously he’s brought something new to the equation. “Lots of energy” is Richard’s theory; “violence” is Kelly’s. “And positivity,” continues Rich, “which is what the band needed, you know, after what all that happened with Stuart. Steve Gorman (Black Crowes skinsman) came in, and was positive – a different kind of positive – but with Javier being the same age and on the same wavelength, just everything fell into place. “Javier wants to do the same things as we want to do. It just makes things 100 times easier. There’s no pushing and pulling and everyone’s on the same page.” Quite frankly, Kelly and Rich couldn’t have found a more suitable man to join w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E

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Mr Jones & Me... the ban if they’d auditioned every drummer in Britain. Fortunately, all that was needed was one illegal party in Argentina… “We knew each other beforehand,” explains Kelly, “from the studio in London where I used to go and do demos and what have you. “And then we were on tour in Australia and ended up in Argentina on a stop over, and we went to a club, and he was there as well. “The club kinda got closed down half way through – the guy had a kind of lap dancing thing going on, with cash machines for people to pay for the lap dancing, but he didn’t have a licence, so they closed the bar down because he didn’t have a fucking licence for the ATM machines!

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“So all the people with British passports got taken to the local headquarters, but we didn’t have our passports with us ‘cos if you lose it you’re fucked, can’t get anywhere, so we had a photocopy of our passport which looked more like fucking Imelda Marcos than us. They didn’t believe anything about us.” Kelly shakes his head, grinning as he recalls events. “Luckily (Javier) was there as well, and he could speak Spanish, so he made some sense out of something. A very strange night really!” Having sorted the line-up, written and recorded the album, and got the touring underway, now is the time the band can look around and take in how their fifth record has been received. The UK has taken it to their heart, with Dakota, Superman and Devil all leaving a

big dent in the charts, but what about the rest of the planet? “It’s been really good,” nods Rich. “Dakota in America is the first top 40 radio single we’ve had out there since we’ve been releasing records, and the way it works out there is they just work it and work it and work it until they don’t play it on the radio any more and that’s when they play the next song. “But Dakota’s still getting strong radio play!” By the time you read this, they’ll have been out to America for a second time, before returning to Blighty for the second leg of their UK tour. It looks like being another busy 18 months… Next month, Part II Handbags and not-soglad rags.

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Out Of The Closet The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe – masterclass in modern cinema or shameless cash-in? Katie Roberts investigates… It’s Sunday night, I’ve just had a bath and changed into my pyjamas, and I’m snuggled up on the sofa with my brothers ready for another exciting and terrifying instalment of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe on the BBC. Week after week I’m scared silly by the wicked Ice Queen, and I constantly check the back of the wardrobe for any parallel universes that might have cropped up. But that was 1988, and this is 2005, and all that’s left of my memories of that landmark adaptation are shaky images of a lion called Aslan and an irrational fear of Turkish Delight. But this month, CS Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia are once again being transferred to the screen for the considerably bigger budget adaptation of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Directed by Andrew Adamson, the man responsible for the magical fairytale comedy hit Shrek, this first of many adaptations of the classic children’s novels looks set to fill the gaping hole left by the record breaking end to the Lord of the Rings trilogy. An epic adventure of talking animals, lush scenery and good versus evil, this latest adaptation had the task of surpassing the somewhat dodgy production values of the TV classic, as Adamson explains: “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe has taken millions of young minds into realms of fantasy – so the enormous challenge as a filmmaker was to try to re-create those worlds in a way that might live up to and even exceed people’s imaginations, that could truly transport you to another time and place.” Of course one of the most exciting prospects of this film is it’s use of CGI and special effects in its portrayal of the fantasy world of Narnia, but the cast is also first class, with Liam Neeson voicing the wise and benevolent lion Aslan, Ray Winstone and Dawn French as Mr and Mrs Beaver, and a foursome of 044

promising young actors and actresses playing the Pevensie children. There’s no doubt that the creators of this forthcoming film have put a lot of effort into making sure it captures the hearts (and pockets) of the cinema-going public this Christmas, but are The Chronicles of Narnia films going to herald the establishment of a worrying new trend in film-making? Adaptations have existed since film began

I remembered it as this huge vivid story with a massive battle between good and evil

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Don Lawrence: 1928 – 2003 – RIP.

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Out Of The Closet and for the most part offer a fresh retelling of an already much-loved story. But the last few years have seen adaptations of classic novels and comic books dominate the box office, and the fact that most of these films are part of huge franchises makes them all the more lucrative for the studios behind them. Since The Fellowship of the Ring was released in 2001, the Lord of the Rings films have generated almost $3 billion at box offices worldwide, and the Harry Potter series is on $3 billion and counting. But with Lord of the Rings over with, and Harry Potter having only a couple more books to go, The Chronicles of Narnia are charged with the task of taking the franchise business into a whole new league, with a whopping seven titles gagging for their chance to transfer to the big screen. I would be the first to admit how much I enjoyed Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and other franchises such as the Spiderman films, but is their existence in the market restricting the creativity and originality that reaches our local cinemas?

Of course there will always be filmmakers out there who have something different to offer, but studios tend to go where the money is, and that’s with the franchises. Those box office figures for Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter don’t take into consideration the huge merchandise revenues from figurines, lunchboxes and kids’ pyjamas, not to mention the seemingly endless succession of special edition, director’s cut, extended version DVDs. Even though these adaptations of classic adventure novels are hugely enjoyable cinematic experiences, are they not also a bit of a cop out on the part of the production team? The audience for The Chronicles of Narnia is already there, it’s been ready since the emergence of the novels in the fifties. It’s like the Star Wars factor: it didn’t matter how good or bad Revenge of the Sith was, it had a captive audience who would pay way over the odds to see it if needs be. When The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is done with, there will probably be another book from the series adapted every year for the next

The enormous challenge as a filmmaker was to try to recreate those worlds in a way that might live up to and even exceed peoples imaginations

"Human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to behave in a certain way, and can't really get rid of it." CS Lewis waxes lyrical about something very important. Damned if we know what though..

seven years, each one building on the profits of the last. Humans are completists by nature, they like a good series to get their teeth into. Cynicism aside, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe looks set to be an experience to savour, and director Adamson’s commitment to the project can’t be faulted: “I read all seven books continuously over a period of a year or two, just read them over and over,” he recalls. “I basically existed in this world of Narnia for a time. I remembered it as this huge, vivid story with a massive battle between good and evil and a whole menagerie of mythological creatures, and I wanted the chance to bring that world to the screen.” So if the Narnia franchise gets kids all excited and lets adults relive their childhood, then dodgy Christian overtones aside, I’m all for it. Now to inspect that wardrobe again...

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Out Of The Closet

Wardrobe, cupboard, closet what’s the difference? They’re all movie stars! The Indian in the Cupboard

Closet Land

Cameron’s Closet

Based on Lynne Reid Banks’ novel of the same name – a small boy’s cupboard can turn plastic toys into real-life miniature people. He soon learns important life lessons about playing God or slavery or something… fails to put a Transformer in though. Dumbass.

Visit the world’s shittiest theme park – Closet Land! Dare you ride the Coathanger of Doom? Dine in the world’s only restaurant based around a dog-eared porno mag that was found in a bush. Starring Alan Rickman.

A father who experiments with his sons psychokinetic powers, is unaware that these experiments release a demon from hell, which lives in his sons closet, preparing to take over the young boys soul. Based on a rejected Emmerdale plot.

Not really – it’s about a sadistic policeman in a dystopian fascist state but it does star Alan Rickman. That theme park doesn’t sound so bad now eh?

Serge De Closets

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone A young boy is forced to live in the cupboard under the stairs by his cruel auntie and uncle. Rather than facing the wrath of the Child Protection Agency, they are just scared off by that bloke who played Cracker – but with more hair. Completely unrealistic.

The name in second unit directors, Serge is lucky enough to be named after the greatest piece of furniture in celluloid history, and as such, becomes worthy to join this esteemed list himself. If you haven’t yet witnessed his incredible work in Dieu Vomit les Tièdes, then you haven’t lived.

COMING IN ISSUE 7: ON SALE 17 JANUARY

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Rock n Rollin’...

Still Rollin’,

by Roger Lotring

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One of only five artists to share the distinction of having sold over ten million copies each of two albums in the US, their latest release - a career-spanning retrospective available last year as a slightly different version in the UK debuted as another Top 10 album. After a decade of being regarded as unlikable, a generation that wasn’t even born during their earlier success has started to embrace the band as their own. But it’s always been business of usual for Leppard, regardless of popularity. Like the lyric to the title track of their latest album suggests, still rolling, keep rolling. Def Leppard just wrapped up an extensive 83-date North American tour in Los Angeles with a TV performance on the late night Jimmy Kimmel Live! The Rock N’ Roll Double Header shows that started in outdoor minor league baseball parks during the summer continued indoors in arenas through November, but coheadliner Bryan Adams would commit to only two weeks per month. Rather than absorb the financial gulf of frequently shutting down production and crew, the band filled the calendar with their own gigs, joined first by Hysteria opening act Tesla, and later Cheap Trick. “What a vibe that was,” says frontman Joe Elliot about sharing their stage with the kindred Cheap Trick. “We had such a good time, it was actually scary,” he remembers, still sounding elated while telling the story about joining them onstage. “We did ‘Surrender’ with ‘em on the last night,” which must have reverted him to feeling like a teenage fan. “Kind of,” admits the 46-year-old singer. “See, the thing is, they were the most amazing band to play with. We only did six shows, but we just bonded so well. The first day, we were in and out of each other’s dressing rooms, just like kids.” Rock and roll edge played with melodic sensibility seems to be an applicable definition of either band, one reason being their shared love and knowledge of English music, something Joe praises as similar to Def Leppard’s own formative influences. “As I said to Rick Nielsen - and apparently he’s going to quote me - they’re the best British band to come out of America ever,” he chuckles, laughing out loud when it’s pointed out that this feature article will beat the Cheap Trick guitarist to the punch, quoting him quoting Elliot. “They love all that stuff,” he goes on, specifically mentioning Roy Wood from the Move and bands like the Beatles, fondly observing that “their enthusiasm for what they do is still pretty high.”

The same thing can be said about Def Leppard. Onstage in front of five thousand people on a Monday night, the majority of seats sold is not a bad turnout for their second show at Mohegan Sun Arena in less than a year, the first just four months earlier. Breathing hard and sweating with a spotlit shine, Joe’s face, flushed with grinning exhilaration, makes it pretty easy to imagine the band playing a corner pub for a hundred people if they had to, anything to be onstage. “Oh, absolutely,” he agrees without question, referring to that continued passion as their calling. “It’s an inherent thing that just runs through your soul, I suppose.” Unlike too many other bands preoccupied with recapturing lost glory—or just becoming famous in the first place - Def Leppard seem to be motivated because they still enjoy playing music. “Why wouldn’t we?” Elliot asks, somewhat surprised. Despite the nature of ego and a business capable of beating down the music, Joe says the band never really became bitter or twisted by those factors, or even their own well-publicized adversity - too sussed and sassy, he says. “We got success about the time that we probably deserved it,” ten years in Britain and seven in America from when the band started. “I think that’s paying enough dues, especially what we went through before and after that.” Def Leppard formed at their first Sheffield rehearsal in late 1977, Joe Elliot persuading Atomic Mass guitarist Pete Willis and bassist Rick Savage to change their name to that of his classroom daydreamed band, Deaf Leopard. Steve Clark joined within two months as a second guitarist, soon threatening to quit if the band didn’t move from practicing to playing for a real audience. By the end of the following year The Def Leppard EP had been recorded, and 15-year-old drummer Rick Allen rounded out the line-up that would record the first two albums. The original version of the “Bringin’ On The Heartbreak” video worked its way into heavy rotation on the fledgling MTV cable channel in the United States, setting the stage for a breakthrough third album. Phil Collen replaced founding guitarist Willis, and 1982 was spent writing and recording Pyromania. Released in early 1983, the album firmly established their American popularity, while English audiences felt slighted by the band seeming to concentrate their efforts exclusively overseas. Rick Allen lost his left arm at the beginning of 1985, severed in a New Year’s Eve automobile accident, and spent w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E

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Who doesn’t own a Def Leppard album or know at least a few of their best-selling hits? The band that literally began as working-class kids in a spoon factory became a worldwide favorite with the release of their Pyromania and Hysteria albums during the ‘80s. With a monstrous US tour complete, it’s time to play catch-up with the Gods of War...

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Still Rollin’, Rock n Rollin’... most of the year acclimating himself with an electronic kit and relearning to play the drums. After working on the previous two albums, Robert John “Mutt” Lange meanwhile returned to end a succession of producers (Jim Steinman, Nigel Green), conducting the tedious sessions that would eventually be released in 1987 as Hysteria. The most popular Def Leppard album in terms of worldwide sales, it at last won the elusive success of their homeland. Def Leppard were literally the biggest band in the world during the summer of 1988. Following more than two hundred dates played behind the Hysteria release, the long creative process of writing and recording another album began in October of that year. Less than three years later Steve Clark fell victim to a fatal combination of prescription medication and alcohol, and the beloved guitarist died in early 1991. The band completed recording Adrenalize, releasing it as a quartet before enlisting former Dio and Whitesnake guitarist Vivian Campbell. The album entered the US charts at #1 and they returned to the road for their longest tour to date. But the ‘90s ultimately proved unkind to Def Leppard, diminishing album and ticket sales reflecting a grunge backlash that affected their popularity for several years, despite the musically adventurous mid-decade release of Slang. “If you’re a student of what we do, you realize that nothing ever ends pretty,” Elliot points out, taking the ‘90s decline in popularity following Adrenalize in stride. “How many bands do you know that knocked it on the head when they were doing really well? How many bands from the ‘90s are still around? Creed—gone. Candlebox—gone.” The singer makes an important point that Def Leppard is one of the few groups fortunate enough to be established beyond the generation of their original audience. “We’ve got enough hits under our belts to actually have a career that can almost exist outside the record industry,” a situation he compares on a lesser scale to that of Paul McCartney and the Rolling Stones, artists that can still sell enough concert tickets without the benefit of chart topping sales of a new album. “I think we’re more at the bottom of that league, than, say, at the top of the other league of bands that came out of the ‘80s that are still around.” One of the means to career longevity is the awareness that popularity and success can be a roller coaster ride, and knowing that 050

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Still Rollin’, Rock n Rollin’... makes it much easier to deal with the process, Elliot explains. There’s no desperation at this point in their career, he says, describing a calming realization that has only come into focus over the course of the last few years. “I think we all just looked at each other and realized that we’ve got nothing to prove. We don’t need to prove anything to anybody.” The monumental success of their history is a strong enough statement. “If they don’t come, they don’t come,” he reasons. “If they do, they’re going to get a good show.” The resulting lack of career stress makes for a more relaxed feeling that affords the band a better performance. “We’re loose, and we just get tighter. It’s more exciting.” Admittedly, it was only during their previous tour in 2003 that Elliot says the band finally got past the pressure of trying to live up to unrealistic expectation of their past success. “It went away, that desperation that I suppose you don’t even know you’ve got. We went through it a little bit in the ‘90s, purely because we were suffering from the ‘kill your idols’ factor.” For a band accustomed to emulating their musical heroes, understanding the grunge mentality of a generation led by Nirvana was not easy. “These guys wanted to kill. That was the first time I’d come across that way of thinking,” remembers the bemused singer. “Generally speaking, Guns N’ Roses wanted to be the Rolling Stones. We wanted to be a variety of bands,” he says, naming Thin Lizzy and Queen, among others. “We weren’t trying to kill them,” admitting that the ‘90s attitude “probably did put our backs to the wall and make us circle the wagons.” Liking Def Leppard was cool again in 2005. Rock Of Ages - The Definitive Collection was released as a celebration of the twenty-fifth anniversary of the debut album, along with a companion DVD of the same name that features a thoughtful and sometimes hilarious audio band commentary. Slightly different from the European Best Of Def Leppard CD last year, the two disc compilation features all the expected hits, plus a number of lesser known songs the band credits to diehard fans demanding be included. Thirty-four tracks that reflect not only the depth of an enjoyable body of work, but also a creative perseverance that now seems to be transcending pop culture toward timelessness.

THE SLIDER Originally Released in 1972

Four classic T. Rex albums recently remastered and released as Rhino expanded deluxe editions included The Slider. After igniting the glam rock scene with Electric Warrior in 1971, the follow-up sparked “Bolanmania” worldwide the following year. Signature songs “Telegram Sam” and “Metal Guru” were released as #1 UK singles, and the album pushed to #17 on the Billboard album chart in the States. In Britain, it made a lasting impact on the imagination of a generation, including kids from Sheffield who would form Def Leppard just five years later. “The Slider is a great example of an album that was part of at least three-fifths of this band's DNA when they were growing up,” says Joe Elliot. “Even if you don't emulate it directly and try to steal the riffs, the overall feeling of songs like 'Metal Guru' and 'Telegram Sam' sink into you. T. Rex were part of what we grew up listening to, and a big part of it! Their singles were a huge influence on all of us. We all bought them, we all listened to 'em, we all watched 'em on Top Of The Pops. The fact that [Marc] Bolan sang in kind of a low, sexy, sleazy voice, and just the way he riffed on some of his songs, was a huge influence on a song like 'Armageddon It'-kind of like a rewrite of 'Get It On' meets 'Metal Guru.'”

That enduring appeal seems no more obvious than when the band plays live. Hearing the range of well-crafted songs, it’s not nostalgic familiarity and memories B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

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Still Rollin’, Rock n Rollin’...

When I read some preview of us coming to town, and it says ‘80s big hair metal gods, you want to punch the twat that wrote it.”

The songs do take on a different life when played live, he admits. Remove the elaborate studio production and Leppard are a raucous rock and roll band. “But they’re close enough for people to watch and go, ‘They sound great,’” Joe continues, amazed by how often the band are accused of using pre-recorded vocals onstage. “A great song is a great song, and it will work in many formats,” be it an ambitious studio production or a more basic live performance. He points out the example of how well something like the Bo Diddley rhythm of “Pour Some Sugar On Me” sounds when performed acoustically for live radio broadcasts. Stripped back to the more fundamental rock and roll format of a five-piece band, most of the Leppard material works solidly well. “Yeah, it does,” Joe agrees, saying that it’s a much different band onstage, particularly when replicating the complex studio techniques used on the Hysteriaalbum. “You can’t sing five harmonies if there’s only three of you singing,”he points out. “But we learned that certain ones aren’t important live. You take the three most obvious ones and do those. So, when you hear us do ‘Promises’ or ‘Armageddon It,’ we’re singing the harmonies that are on the record. They might be slightly smaller because there’s only three of us singing, not multi-tracking ‘em sixteen thousand times.” That basic simplicity was the primary approach taken when recording tracks for Yeah!, an album of cover songs due for release in 2006. “That’s the great thing,” he says. “It’s been recorded and presented 052

almost like a live album.” From a sonic point of view, the singer explains that the album has good production, but not the excessive layering of tracks people generally associate with the band. He likens the production to being closer to an album such as Back In Black, as opposed to Pyromania. “What we’ve done is made a record that nobody’s heard Def Leppard make since possibly High ‘N’ Dry.” “It was like, wow, we get a chance to actually be the people that we wanted to be when we were twelve. It was almost like getting the tennis racket back out and getting in front of the bedroom mirror. That was the enthusiasm.”

Pic: Chapman Baehler

that make them work - they just happen to be good songs. Songs that are just as affecting now as years ago because of lasting charm, particularly obvious by the sight of kids who weren’t even born at the time singing along. “You never see people saying the Stones are a ‘70s band, or a ‘60s band,” Elliot says about wanting Def Leppard to be similarly regarded. “They’re just the Stones. It doesn’t give them an era reference that ties them to a certain year in their career like a ball and chain.”

Joe says Yeah! represents not so much a case of being more conscious of their formative influences, but more assertive in mining certain elements. “I think we’re less scared of ripping ‘em off blatantly,” he says candidly, explaining that as younger, less experienced songwriters, sounding like the music that inspired them could not be helped. “You get better at what you do, and you get your own sound. And then you go full circle, so I can go back to the way we used to write when we were kids slightly more naively, and a lot more theft

involved,” he jokes. Or just decide to record an album of cover songs. “Well, there is that, too,” an amused Elliot concedes. But the forthcoming release is meant more as an opportunity to delineate exactly where Def Leppard come from as musicians. “It’s just a personal crusade, that’s all it is,” he says, still feeling a great fallacy about the band and its sound. “When I read some preview of us coming to town, and it says ‘80s big hair metal gods, you want to punch the twat that wrote it.” Reading journalistic statements about Leppard being obviously influenced by bands like Black Sabbath and Deep Purple still make him shake his head. “What planet are you from?” he asks, incredulous that some writers still categorize the band as the product of a heavy metal background. “We feel this need to educate them,”he explains, hoping that Yeah! will ultimately force people to listen differently. “Just because we came up in that New Wave Of British Heavy Metal, I don’t think we sound like Iron Maiden. Maiden are a great band, but there’s a big difference between hard rock and metal. I think we’re a rock band.” “There are some great heavy metal bands, I just don’t think Def Leppard’s one of them. I think we’re a rock band, and there’s a big difference. For us, it’s a crusade,” he says again, “just to get the point across that we don’t fit in there.” Growing up when and where they did, Joe points out that their musical influences were not typical rock radio programming. “We didn’t have rock stations,” he remembers, describing instead a weekly two hour show being the extent of bands like Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath making an impact on them. “You didn’t get to hear ‘Kashmir’ on the radio in England. You’d hear it at some mate’s party, if he had an older brother, ‘cause they had the album. But what we did hear and see on Top Of The Pops, once every Thursday evening at 7:30, was Slade and Sweet, Alice Cooper, [David] Bowie and [Marc] Bolan - stuff like that. That’s what really w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E

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Still Rollin’, Rock n Rollin’... affected us.” It won’t just redirect people toward the source of the Def Leppard sound, Elliot expects that Yeah! should affect the band when it comes to writing new material for the next record. “Ihope so,” the singer laughs. “I really hope so, yeah. I hope that we look at it and go, these are the kind of songs we need to be writing, because these are the kind of songs that we take to, like a fish to water.” Struggling with writing what he says the band likes to call “fast” songs, is something the band has always done in the past. “We can churn out mid-tempo stuff like the Brill Building,” his reference to the early ‘60s New York hit writing factory illustrating how prolific Def Leppard can be when it comes to writing ballads. “But when it comes to doing rock and roll stuff, we were always scared,” he admits, the fear being that those efforts would sound too close to the original source of inspiration. “‘You Really Got Me’ has already been rewritten fifteen thousand times,” he says as an example. “How many more rewrites does it really

need?” “But they’re just so enjoyable to play,” he continues, explaining that the “fast” songs aren’t nearly as much of a challenge. His facetious guess that guitarist Campbell and Collen could probably play some of those songs while wearing boxing gloves, Joe makes the analogy that sometimes it’s acceptable for a Shakespearean actor to take a soap opera role. “That’s kind of what it’s like, I suppose. These guys could be in a prog rock band, but they don’t want to.” People sometimes forget what good rock and roll is supposed to represent, Joe says, elaborating the simplicity that recording Yeah! has allowed the band to rediscover. “‘Johnny B. Goode’ is still a great song, a bit of fun. It’s three minutes of non-sensible, let-your-hair-down rock and roll. Listen to that first Van Halen record, and for all the fancy stuff that Eddie [Van Halen] does, there are some dead simplistic songs on there, things like ‘Jamie’s Crying.’ It’s just a great little pop song. Things like ‘Runnin’ With The Devil.’ Once you get past that opening riff, it’s

just two chords, really.” It’s all about having attitude, he says, “as opposed to having an attitude.” And that’s why Leppard have never been regarded as pretentious, despite tremendous commercial success over the course of their career. “We’re like a bunch of kids, because where we came from, we were destined to work in factories and stuff like that.” The reality of that childhood environment still has an impact on the realization of what Def Leppard has already accomplished. “We got further than most bands ever get,” Joe says with unassuming pride. “We’re moving into that elite status of a few hundred, instead of a few million. There’s a million bands that had a record out, but there’s only a few hundred that have been around as long as the Stones, Aerosmith, that kind of thing.” Def Leppard? Yeah!... Fuck yeah!

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Into The Great Wide Open...

Pics: Chiaki Nozu ✪ Words: Sion Smith

Slitting your own throat is not the answer! Getting somebody else to do it is much neater.

ALICE COOPER & TWISTED SISTER Brighton Dome ✪ 5 November It’s good to be in the company of friends - granted it was several thousand friends I’ve never met before in my life bar maybe a half dozen or so, but we’re all here to celebrate! Celebrate the return of Alice and Twisted, celebrate the return of ‘the show’ or celebrate the fact that we’re all still alive! All of those things are relevant. Not surprisingly, not everyone is old, not everyone has lost their hair and there;s plenty of that parents bringing their kids lark - hell, there was even one instance of some guy taking his parents! If it’s a generation gap you want to fill, who better than the guys who created it in the first place.

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Taking the stage to ‘that’ intro, Twisted Sister were met like long lost heroes - to most of us, that’s exactly what they are. I’ve said it before and it’s still true today. This is no nostalgia trip, this is a band that just had a very long rest, and while most wouldn’t be interested in any new material, audience and band included, the back catalogue holds enough gems to pull off the extended set. Yep - you read that right. both bands tonight are performing full sets. The friendship and professionalism between the two acts helps ease the pain of one having to go on before the other. Judging by the merchandise too, there’s just as many people here to catch Twisted as there is for Alice himself - and it’s all good. Twisted have hit their stride tonight. Someone has lit a fire under their ass. Everybody is looking in sharp and the

tunes come out hit after hit... and if not hits then very definitely fan favourites! I Wanna Rock and I Am, I’m Me meet with the most approval from the masses but those powerslams from yesteryear like Destroyer and Under the Blade still stand to serve as timely reminders that before Twisted served up those infamous slices of power-pop, they were heavy as hell and for those old enough to remember, Under the Blade is still probably the defining moment. Mendoza has never looked slicker on the bass - how the hell he plays it with a fist I’ll never know, Pero is also looking good - the hugely under-rated Jay still plays with as much passion as he ever did and there’s no knocking Dee, who sounds better than he ever has and is still the best frontman in the business.

It’s a lesson in crowd control, being aware of what we want as an audience and fun.

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Plugged in to the national grid, Twisted Sister warm up the crowd to melting point.

How to sum it up then? Twisted Sister were once kings of the world for a reason - tonight was proof positive that one thing alone can sustain you through anything. Passion. No substitute. After a brief ‘stage pause’ during which two thirds of the capacity rushed outside to smoke - a sight to behold indeed - the stage trimmings are set up for what we’re here for. Alice. It’s a more than competent band that take the stage. Old numbers sound as fresh as they ever did with the group being closer to the original incarnation and spirit than ever, whilst the new material can still kick some serious ass. If there’s a gripe with the show, it’s not that the theatrics are cut back, but that just as the excitement builds for a number like, Dead Babies, what we get is a medley of intros. Sure the new material and albums rock hard, but for my money, I’d much rather be witness to a full rendition of Welcome to my Nightmare than say, Sunset Babies from the new album. It’s a bit odd, because while the new material is great, when you go to see Alice, what you really want to see is the Alice you grew up with - it’s a bit like Doctor Who or James Bond, so I guess Alice is right, not me, because there are certainly enough people here for whom Dirty Diamonds and Dragontown are their period pieces. B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

Most welcome tonight is a stomping rendition of Teenage Frankenstein - did my ears deceive me or was that the Zodiac Mindwarp version on display? The set pieces with Alice’s daughter Calico are fantastic. Here comes the straight-jacket, here comes the nurse... no matter how many times you see it, it’s still the bomb! The climax of Schools Out and the inevitable Poison bring the house down and seriously nobody can ask for much more at this stage of a mans career. He’s an icon, he’s the grand-master. Without Alice, none of us would be here, well, not me anyway. Tonight, he showed again why. As Gene Simmons always says, it’s not all about the stage show. It’s about the songs. Alice has got so much quality material to fall back on, it would be hard to deliver a duff show. Admittedly, tonight, Alice got sent to the guillotine and ended up with his head in a basket. That’s always good for a few chuckles but the highlight for me was a perfect rendition of Be My Lover. So, the big night out that some looked down upon as a dinosaurs last outing is over. What did it prove? Not much and everything. We all had a blast. Twisted Sister are one of the best bands on the road this year and Alice answers to nobody. Killer.

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Into The Great Wide Open... . to go to a WWE show.. Here’s one good reason

WWE Raw Manchester M.E.N. Arena. 17 Nov 2005 To say that going to the Wrestling when you just heard that one of its favourite sons has passed away (Eddie Guerrero at the age of 38) is a strange sensation, but I guess ‘the show must go on’ Eddie was one of the good guys, he came from a family of wrestlers, he was more old school style, which was flash, but with a style & charm that really warmed you to him, but for me this visit to Manchester to witness the WWE live brought on thoughts not just of Eddie and wrestling past, present or future but the marketing of the WWF/WCW into the ‘Brand’ that is now known as WWE & it did not happen over night. This was not my first trip to watch the superstars in action, but I am now more a fair weather fan than full on got

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to watch everything. Myself and Mr Smith spent many a late night staying up late in the 80’s catching the wrestling when it was shown at an unholy hour of the morning on ITV in the UK - usually after a music programme called Raw which was presented by a lunatic called Krusher & was one of the few places you could catch any decent rock music on TV, this was pre-MTV, pre-Sky digital. The stars of those times were for us Ultimate Warrior, Jake The Snake, Bret The Hitman Hart Rowdy Roddy Piper and even Shawn Michaels, although he was always dissing Hart, so only later on was he really cool. I guess maybe we saw a little of what we wished ourselves to be like if we were a wrestler, or perhaps the wrestling version of our favourite band, who knows, but it was the Warrior that really did it for us, something about the make up and really looking like he meant it, he looked like he could replace Dee Snider in Twisted Sister, and when he came into the ring with the pyro, well it was Motley Crue with muscles, also and perhaps more importantly, kinda’ like Kiss in the 70’s, because Kiss in the 80’s was not all that great to be honest, so wrestling became the ‘rock n’ roll’ for us in many ways, or at least until we heard the words, ‘pussy, pussy, pussycat’! It all came to a head in the 90’s when Summerslam one of the major events in the wrestling calendar came from Wembley Stadium in London. This was a fucking event I can tell you! Even the British Bulldog was cool, and he never was before or after for sure, then something changed,

maybe I got older, moved on, grunge was killing rock n’ roll, I was starting to really get into becoming a DJ and it seemed like it might last a while! So wrestling took a back seat, but I still watched it when I could and there have been a few true stars over the last ten years. No. 1 for me is The Undertaker -boy he is rock ‘n roll, like Darth Vader meets Johnny Cash in a graveyard, mind you, black has always been the new black for me. Another killer star was The Rock. Yeah, we all know his movies ain’t all that, but still. Then you have HHH. These three for me are just the top of the pile, time to play the game. (Our fairweather friend seems to have forgotten Mr Batista who has also recently joined the cream. Fanboy Ed) So over the last couple of years I have found myself drawn into the whole world of wrestling once more, the use of rock from Motorhead through Limp Bizkit into Seether has seen wrestling cross over into the rock music market and visa versa. I also have a nephew who loves to watch WWE, so having a

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ten year old tell you that Rowdy Roddy Piper is not as good as Y2J Chris Jericho and is an ‘old man just like you’ really got on my tits. Not that I dislike Chris, his band Fozzy played the club last year and he’s a star for sure, but it made me want to see the wrestling through the eyes of a ten year old kid again, so when I got the chance to go along to Manchester, there was no stopping me. Yet going back to the beginning of this article, the death of Eddie Guerrero really made everyone feel like something was missing and it was. Eddie’s death made the wrestlers real, which is just not right because they are real life ‘comic book heroes’ and they just don’t die, the fantasy became all together very real, the spirit was good, the vibe was great, 15,000 people screaming their asses off. What it really did more than anything was remind me why I loved the wrestling in the first place. The Darkness remind me why I loved Kiss, Queen, Thin Lizzy and Van Halen, the WWE let me know age is not anything to do with how old you are, it’s how things make you feel, did I feel stupid shouting at a man in tights? No, this was a great night out and if you leave your prejudices at the door, come along, you will have the time of your life. JJ

r! ...and here’s another fou

Waiter... the cheque ple ase!

erved. ment, Inc. All Rights Res rld Wrestling Entertain Wo 05 20 © ges ima All

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Into The Great Wide Open... Cradle Of Filth The Forum, London 03 DEC 05

Pic: Dijana Capan

It’s only been six months since the black metal circus known as Cradle Of Filth rolled through town but the roar that goes up as they once again take to the Forum stage indicates that their return has come not a minute too soon. However, memories of that somewhat disappointing show are soon banished to the bowels of hell as the band erupt into opener ‘Gilded C**t’. Led from the back by drummer Adrian Erlandsson, the Filth are truly on fire as the likes of ‘Cthulu’ and ‘Babylon AD’ show exactly why, on their day, there are no finer purveyors of vampyric metal than these Suffolk terrors. Of course this wouldn’t be a Cradle Of Filth show without the circus element and by the time the set has reached the halfway stage we’ve had grotesque gargoyles stalking the stage, a couple of rope artists and the obligatory torrent of filth from the man himself. The rest of the set continues at a high pace with ‘Born In A Burial Gown’ and ‘Ghost In The Fog’ sounding like they were written by Satan himself. The band are joined onstage for their encore by a rather naff-looking headbanging robot and for a moment the night was in danger of descending into a farce as more than a few members of this fiercely loyal crowd snigger into their beers. However, as ‘From The Cradle To Enslave’ brings the night to a spark-filled climax, you have to give the band credit for taking black metal to the masses and throwing an entertaining night of evil into the bargain. GF

Pic: Dijana Capan

UNION Lock 17, London 28 NOV 2005

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The first ever Union show in London. It's only taken them six years. Original members Bruce Kulick (lead guitar, ex-KISS) and John Corabi (vocals/guitar, ex-Mötley Crüe) were joined by Alice Cooper bassist Chuck Garric and Cinderella drummer Fred Coury for this short European jaunt that was also taking in Germany, Switzerland, Denmark, Spain and Italy. The fans in attendance were true die-hard fans of Union, KISS, Mötley and John's first signed band The Scream, but unfortunately it stopped there. The hardcore were the only ones that came. Such a shame as rock bands really don't get much better than Union, and the chance to see them in such a great club venue for the first time should have drawn more people. But it was a cold Monday night in London, and that probably put the weak off. With the pedigree of this band, and the previous groups they've been in, the wealth of material available to them is enough to satisfy any hard rock fan, and as such, the set only contained six classic Union songs. The rest were songs by previous bands, including Power To The Music by Mötley and no less than five KISS songs; an awesome rendition of Unholy, with Chuck Garric demonstrating his Gene Simmons voice, proving the pick of the bunch. Surprise inclusions of KISS' I Love It Loud and War Machine, both sung by Garric, also extracted huge roars from the small but enthusiastic crowd. Union songs such as Love (I Don't Need It Anymore), Do Your Own Thing and Who Do You Think You Are were guaranteed crowd pleasers and did no disappoint. A perfect night of rock. AL w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E

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BUZZKILL

Beyond All Reason

Leeds 30 Oct 2005

Barfly, Birmingham 27 Nov 05

So, here we are. Leeds has been taken over by Halloween worshiping students, and I'm in a pub (probably described as having 'character') being told there is no guest list and if I want to see this band Buzzkill I'll have to pay for the privilege. Perks of the press, eh? It's just as well I liked the album, or I might have thrown my toys out of the cot and gone home. But I really want to see this band, and £4 seems like a small price to pay. The 'venue' is a tiny room upstairs, with a stage so small guitarist/singer Matt and bassist Karl are on the floor, a matter of inches away from their mates. Billed as a launch party by the band's PR bods, it's simply a coincidence that they're playing on the night Driven By Loss hits the shops. All they're here to do is rock the joint and have a party. In-between Matt retuning his guitar, that is… Opening with Once A Liar and Broken Picture, it's immediately apparent that the energy of the record only hints at what this five-piece are capable of on stage. The set is, unsurprisingly, predominately drawn from the new album, and the tracks aired (among them, Same City, Different City, In My Head and Heartbreak Inferno) more than do Driven By Loss justice. Ending with the title track (all together now, "Fuck you, fuck you"), the small crowd bring the roof down, finally drowning out the bloke in the suit who'd been cheering the boys on from the side. Small venues suit this lot. Catch them quick before they're forced to play somewhere bigger. KJ

If you believe everything you read, you'll know these guys are another 'next big thing'. Allegedly. Well, if you're under twenty five years old, you will knock yourself out to Beyond All Reason's squealing guitars, rock star poses and guttural, heavy vocals. I'm sure it will all seem very subversive, rebellious and - against a flaccid backdrop of Franz, Keane and Coldplay - very fresh. However, if you no longer drink snakebite or watch Neighbours in the afternoon, you will surely find yourself having a quiet chuckle at these guys. It's not that they're not good musicians, because they are. They're very accomplished, self-assured and inchperfect with their playing. It's not that they're not passionate and sincere. They look like they are. It's just that they've very obviously watched all their dad's/big brother's videos of Metallica, Judas Priest, Skid Row, Iron Maiden and all the other iconic bands who fell from teenage favour in

the early nineties. Singer Venno switches his vocal style from James Hetfield to Rob Halford and back again, with the occasional Seb Bach squeal (sometimes he hits the note, sometimes he doesn't). Of course, watching and learning from the greats is a good thing. It's just that it's all too close to the surface at the moment. With more writing and playing, the heavy influence of their heroes should melt into a more fluid style with less jolting from one 'homage' to another. The lack of fluency is also apparent in their songwriting. Although they're often applauded for mixing metal with melody, it's clear band members are pulling in opposite directions, with guitarist Russ sneaking in as many jangly emo melodies as he can while the rest of the band aren't looking. As for the Beavis and Butthead antics on stage, they simply need to cut that out or risk drifting into parody. The good stuff's in there, but they're not the kings of British rock just yet. As they left the stage I found myself saying, “Aah bless”. A sad indictment of both them, and me. SE

Wednesday 13 - 22 Nov 2005 “Have a good time tonight!”, we shouted as he left the office that afternoon to review the show. Little did we know that as he walked out of the door, we wouldn’t hear from him for anotherr three days. Jack Daniels drinkers of the world be warned! At least our photographers can hold their drink...

THE NEW SCHOOL OF ROCK TOUR: THE ANSWER/ THE SOUND EXPLOSION/ TOKYO DRAGONS. CENTRAL STATION, WREXHAM 30 OCT 2005

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Pics: Chiaki Nozu

Welcome to a windy night in Wrexham Town, with only 3 top class new rock acts to keep us warm. Kicking off the evening with some balls to the wall, good oldfashioned rock n roll were Tokyo Dragons. They worked the crowd like a bunch of pros, reminding me of a modern day Wolfsbane. This band want to be the ultimate party band- and they may just pull it off. Tracks such as Get Em Off and the final number Rock In The Stew were total `80`s Heavy Metal - very NWOBHM. Stand out track was Come On Baby with its Thin Lizzy-esque dual guitar break, from Steve and Mel with Drummer Phil trashing the skins like a young Tommy Lee. Fuck Fashion, Let’s Rock! They must be doing something right, because after the Dragons had finished, half the crowd went to the merch stand, bought their Tokyo Dragons tees, and then buggered off! So with a less packed Central Station The Sound Explosion hit the stage, with an explosion of sound (apt name guys). The Ed would like this band, since I don’t think I can pigeonhole them. They sounded like a decade, the `70`s to be precise, (without the disco shit)…classic blues tinged rock of Led Zepp mixed with end of the decade punk. Dunnoe what to call it, but I like it! Final act The Answer had the longest sound check of the 3 bands and it showed with the best sound of the night, admittedly it helped with them being the most competent musicians as well. Stunning vocals in a Paul Rodgers style, shit hot guitar work including some slide work, and a rhythm section that didn’t miss a beat. A tight set including classic slabs of bluesy rock as No Questions Asked, So Cold and new single Never too Late show this band certainly won’t be fazed supporting Alter Bridge in November. Its just a shame that the organisers hadn’t put Tokyo Dragons on as the last band, then more people could have seen this lot! JMc

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Into The Great Wide Open... Opeth The Forum, London 30 NOV 2005 The Swedish death metal originators return for the second time in as many months to a much bigger venue than before (the Mean Fiddler) for another stop on their extensive European tour. I’ll be honest and say I really didn’t care if they played an identical set to last time; they were that bloody good it didn’t matter. As it was, following the abysmal disjointed mess of Akercocke, Opeth really couldn’t fail and they changed up the set with some real classics. Keeping awesome new tracks The Baying of The Hounds and Grand Conjuration alongside older songs When, Deliverance and the perennial set-closer Demon of The Fall, Opeth dropped in rarely played surprises like White Cluster from Still Life and the complex and intriguing Under The Weeping Moon from debut album Orchid. Although the musicianship on show was, again, exemplary, there was just something missing from this show compared to the smaller one in September. I can’t work out what it was, but it was something. Perhaps it was the larger venue, or perhaps it’s the fact that the band rarely move from the spot, which they didn’t in September either, but the music overcame that. Perhaps it was the lack of Damnation-style songs. They played two last time and it worked very well to vary the set. I’m not sure, but something tells me they’re an awe-inspiring band to see once, but ultimately, will prove less and less interesting with further viewings. AL

Johnny Truant Birmingham Barfly 27 NOV 05 The debate goes on as to whether Brighton's finest are metal, hardcore, or any other type of core. What's for certain is that they're loud, heavy and fucking aggressive. Their relentless live show features plenty of squealing guitar riffery and violent, roaring vocals. Frontman Olly Truant spends most of the gig with his back to the crowd. When he does peep over his shoulder he baits the crowd, demanding to know why the venue isn't full when one of the best metal bands in Britain is playing (when one of the best metal bands in Britain plays there, we'll let you know -ed). No-one looks very sure if he's kidding or not. The latest heroes of 'proper English metal' as they call it are full of confidence and commitment as they knock out one grinding track after another. Beneath the crunching layers of guitars, my only reservation is that their superbly technical playing is a bit over-the-top and showy. Watching the enthusiastic moshers at the front, it's obvious that quirky changes to time signatures can interfere with headbanging. Never a good thing, surely. SE

Gotthard Underworld, London 9 OCT 2005 My my, this was a late one. Doors at 8? It is 8. The doors aren't open. Apparently the venue were having problems this night, culminating in the regrettable cancellation of the support act's set. None of this seemed to perturb Gotthard one bit. Opening with All We Are from new album Lipservice, the band, and frontman Steve Lee in particular, were there for nothing more than a good time. The energy from the band seeped into the crowd within the space of two songs,

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resulting in thunderous rapture at the close of every track. Obviously wishing to showcase material from their excellent new album, the band played no less than nine tracks from it, mixed effortlessly between the classics, every one proving a killer. The personal disappointment I felt at the noninclusion of I'm Alive in the set was more than made up for by the passion with which the songs they did play was delivered. Anyone else who feels the live circuit is somewhat lacking in good, solid, fun rock 'n' roll shows needs to look up Gotthard next time they come through. AL

The Young Gods Barfly, Birmingham 26 NOV 05 The last time I saw The Young Gods I found them too arty, too electro and just too much to cope with. But that was many years ago and at that time my CD player was stacked with Poison, Skid Row and The Almighty. So maybe it's not them who've changed. Maybe it's me. Having learned the language from Nine Inch Nails and Skinny Puppy, The Young Gods are no longer speaking in tongues (although they do sing in French) and they rock like bastards. 2005 sees them celebrating twenty overlooked years together - with the odd line-up change here and there. Every aspect of this musical journey is represented in tonight's lengthy set. Franz Treichler doesn't need to bait the audience to get them moshing. He maintains an enigmatic silence between songs, looking rather like a knackered Michael Hutchence in a pair of ropey track pants and sweatshirt. Pioneers in the world of samplers, there's a lot of accomplished electronic tinkering, bringing sparkle to pounding tribal drums, screaming keyboards and metal guitar licks - both real and digital. Layer over the top of this Treichler's heavily

reverbed vocals and you start to see why these guys attract such a loyal and enthusiastic following. Their straddling of so many categories and genres has probably restricted their commericial success. But to the faithful, they are gods indeed. SE

Dio Astoria, London 22 OCT 05 How can a perfectly performed, top quality show be a disappointment? Here's how. This special UK tour was meant to be exactly that. Special. Billed as an “Evening with” tour, Dio were to have no support and play for 3 hours (with an intermission). The first hour and a half was to include classic but rarely played tracks from Dio's back catalogue, while the final ninety minutes was to be a greatest hits set, including a complete run-through of the seminal Holy Diver album from start to finish. The show was scheduled to start at 6:30 and finish at 9:50 (early curfew imposed by the venue). It didn't. The lights finally dimmed at 7:30. A full hour later than advertised. Opening with Rainbow's Tarot Woman Dio flawlessly proceeded to play two hours of greatest hits, with not one song dating later than 1984, including the much talked about Holy Diver rendition (complete with horribly rendered cheesy intro video) in front of nine cameras (for a forthcoming DVD). And that was it. Two hours of old greatest hits. Dio play two hours of greatest hits every year. And if we're all honest, they play five or six tracks from the nine-track Holy Diver every year too. So the inclusion of the other three instead of new material from the current album merely made this exactly the same show as every other year. Nothing special whatsoever. A let-down. AL

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Supercharger Heaven Aerosmith have a good track record with live albums – here's what else you should track down, in order of merit: Official Live Bootleg. Their first foray into live recording, and worth tracking down if only for Chip Away The Stone (one of their best songs, even if they didn't write it) and Lord Of The Thighs. It's raw, real and captures perfectly a band at their peak. Granted they're about to topple from that peak (something that's noticeable in some of Steven's slightly strained vocals), but peak they are at.

A Little South Of Sanity.

AEROSMITH Rockin’ the Joint Columbia ✪✪✪✪ There’s something about the Aerosmith experience that leaves a gorgeous taste in the mouth. Kicking off this latest batch of live stunners from the Aero camp is Beyond Beautiful, which is kind of neat, because from here on in we’re treated to every Aerosmiths fan wet dream - a host of classic numbers! While the album doesn’t quite come up to the standard of the drug addled haze of Bootleg, it’s a masterclass in how to make it twice in a lifetime. Hearing Same Old Song and Dance and No More No More straight after each other is treat indeed, but the album doesn’t stop there with its garden of delights. Seasons of Wither has never sounded this good and after Light Inside, my favourite Aerosmith song of all time Draw the Line. Damn that album was under rated - even by the band themselves. The inclusion of I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing is inevitable it sounds fantastic these days, having translated itself from sugary overplayed ballad into

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one of their best songs - time will prove me right on that one. You can almost feel the heat of the lighters being waved. Bringing in the second half of the album, Big Ten Inch is another surprise inclusion on which Joe really ramps it up. Rattlesnake Shake and Walk This Way set the stage for the the wrecking maching that is Train Kept A Rollin’ - not the greatest song in the world... unless you’re inthe crowd - and then it becomes the greatest crowd singalong of all time!

Some fans of the band may be a bit disheartened at what is essentially another greatest hits collection is diguise, but this is so much more than a record company choice of fan pleasers. Surely this could have been a double album though.. Dream On, Kings and Queens, Toys in the Attic - there’s dozens of songs that deserve a new decade airing. Come on.. bring me Part II and make me a happy man! Good fucking start though! SS

A far more polished affair, befitting the era of Get A Grip and Nine Lives, this again sees the band at their best (and about to feck off from Geffen and over to Sony). Over two discs, you'll find a smattering of classics (Sweet Emotion, Last Child, Same Old Song And Dance, Mama Kin) amid a plethora of modern day 'Smith. Dude (Looks Like A Lady), Livin' On The Edge, Love In An Elevator and Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees) are all worth the price of the double-CD package, but why Angel is on there is beyond me.

Classics Live/ Classics Live II Hmmm, the whys and the wherefores of these two have become lost in the mists of time. The rumours that surround them have grown over the years as well – with Jimmy Crespo claiming to have overdubbed all of Joe's guitar solos in the studio. Sure, there are a couple of odd-ball 'gems spread over the two albums (Major Barbara, Let The Music Do The Talking), but neither are worth shelling out for, and the other tracks are available elsewhere. Best to ignore these two and get either the Bootleg or Sanity. Or both, if you have any sense.

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Exodus Shovel Headed Kill Machine Nuclear Blast

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Divinefire Hero Metal Heaven

Since By Man Pictures From The Hotel Apocalypse Revelation Records

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This entire album can be summed up in one word. Monotony. With the exception of the majestic and inspired cover of Queen’s The Show Must Go On, every song has the same high-speed double bass-drum rhythm, similar speed/power metal riffs and soaring vocals. Now, this isn’t normally a bad thing (apart from the boring drumming), but it all sounds the same from start to finish, and in a genre where bands like Primal Fear, Hammerfall and Freedom Call are redefining the way it should sound, this isn’t good enough. It’s like listening to a Dragonforce record. These guys are obviously talented musicians, so they really need to change the pace a bit. At least get more than two different rhythms onto a 10-track album! AL Brian Setzer Orchestra Dig That Crazy Christmas Surfdog

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On the face of it, this album is superb. 2004s Tempo of The Damned was the first Exodus album in seven years, and Shovel Headed Kill Machine rips it apart in every conceivable way. It’s complex and aggressive, with sharp riffs and intelligible vocals, making this a thoroughly enjoyable record. Unfortunately, after a few listens, it starts to get rather repetitive. The reason for this is two-fold. Firstly, some of the solos could have been a little more emotive and a little less Kerry King (translation: random and pointless) in places. Secondly, and more importantly, as good as it is, it suffers from the same problem most thrash records suffer from; the drum rhythms get very tedious. It’s the same stuff over and over again. This isn’t the case on every track. Shudder To Think, for example, has plenty of nice fills that help to alter the pace, especially after three songs of full-speed double bassdrumming-by-numbers, but there’s very little elsewhere in the way of variety, which makes it quite a boring listen once you’ve heard it a couple of time. While I don’t begrudge thrash drummers from doing this, it’s not an easy thing to do and takes a lot of skill; you don’t have to do it all the time. AL

Sonic Boom Six Sounds To Consume – Champion Edition Moon Ska Europe

✪✪✪ The alleged Season of Goodwill brings with it some lousy stuff; nylon-bearded kiddie fiddlers lurking in shopping centre grottos, present buying and that piece of crap from Satan’s own bowels – the Christmas record. Former Stray Cats frontman Brian Setzer and his orchestra have had some practice at the genre, having released Boogie Woogie Christmas in 2002, so they pull off Dig That Crazy Christmas pretty well. It’s typical Setzer fare - digging up retro roots and imaginatively updating them – Angels We Have Heard On High cooks up a swing hymn from jabs of brass and a traditional choir before Hey Santa! brings a hoppin’ bassline and raucous rockabilly chorus to the festive spread. Its lifespan may be limited but as novelty records go it will provide a welcome alternative to Slade. AB

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the imaginative and ambitious, rap / rock / ska fusion of 2004’s The Rape Of Punk To Come. The only thing letting the side down is their insistence on drowning it all in tired political rants (immigration, ol’ chestnut - marijuana legislation and pop-punk accessory of the season - the heavy handed anti-war song Blood For Oil), a cover of The Clash’s Safe European Home only reminds of the benchmark they’re missing. AB

Pictures From The Hotel Apocalypse marks the second full-length release from the Milwaukee five-piece Since By Man, and as it hurls its barrage of violent noise at anyone brave enough to listen, apocalyptic just about sums this album up. The onslaught begins with the volatile opener, Emergency and Me, as the strained vocals piece through a wall of harsh, discordant guitar noise while tracks like Young America and Insider Lines both give way to moments of utter frenzy. Apart from a two-minute reprieve in the swirling atmospherics of Invocation, the rampant hostility barely lets up throughout the album's forty minute duration. Thankfully, Pictures… is not altogether without melody, despite is truly explosive sound. It is painfully aggressive though; while it may be great for releasing some pent up rage, it's definitely not one to listen to if you're feeling a bit tense. CM Rise Against The Unraveling (Reissue) Fat Wreck Chords

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The ‘champion edition’ of last year’s Sounds To Consume EP charts these never afraid to experiment skasters progress through material from two earlier EPs and a number of remix rarities. SB6 certainly have come a long way; from the endearingly energetic but unexceptional horns and skanking guitars of early offering Play Inna Day to

Five years since its original hurried release and Fat Wreck Chords have decided that it was time the furious

debut from Chicago punk rockers Rise Against was bought up to date. And why not? Unrelenting punk, with the kind of catchy melodies and harmonies that would make The Offspring proud, but without their comic element; intelligent song writing underpins all of the tracks, from the more reflective Everchanging to the more hardcoretinged, gruff vocal explosions and frantic hooks of Stained Glass and Marble. Eighteen tracks coming in at fortyminutes gives you an idea of the kind of fast and furious raw punk energy that this massive slice of melodic hardcore has to offer. Re-mixed and re-mastered, and with the two extra bonus tracks, if you missed it the first time round, make up for it now. CM

Queen Adreena Live At The ica One Little Indian

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Oh goodie - another live album without a crowd. When will people learn? If you want to capture a band playing 'live', but don't want people's screams and yells to get in the way, then stick 'em in a shed and have them run through their live set while the tapes run. If, however, you decide to record a band playing to a live audience - KEEP THE FUCKING CROWD NOISE AUDIBLE. Sorry, it's a pet hate. Having never had the pleasure of seeing QA live, I'm told they're stonking. I'll have to take that person's word for it because that doesn't come across here. While the songs (in particular, Cold Fish, Fuck Me Doll and Pretty Like Drugs) hint at adrenaline fuelled rage, it all sounds a bit dis-jointed, as if the band were all recorded on their own and then mixed together later. Diehards will love it, but there are better introductions to QA's dark and twisted world. Just hope the DVD does their live act justice. KJ

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Supercharger Heaven The Darkness vs The Staff! One Way Ticket... To Hell and Back

Friendly Fire... ✪✪✪✪ I’m sure my esteemed colleague is about to wade in here with his size fours on, but let’s sit back and take a look at the scenery. A few years back, nobody gave a fuck about the Darkness, but still they kept coming. Cut to present day and we’ll see that everybody either loves or hates them in seemingly equal measures. Permission seemed to push people into one of two corners. Me? I take my hat off to any band that can keep going these days! So, One Way Ticket arrives on my desk. I press play.. answer some emails while I get ready for a listening session... and the damn thing has finished! Clocking in at around the half hour mark, that sort of length was thoroughly acceptable in 1974, but I think we all have a bigger attention span these days. Even another ten minutes would have been nice. But that’s really the only bad thing I have to say. The band have taken a few chances - it would have been easy to stick to the formula and deliver another Permission but that’s not the way forward and they know it too. Baker has done some incredible work here and while it might take a few cracks of the whip to get used to it, it was a good choice. It’s got enough Queen written into it to pull off what they wanted to achieve but it’s far from ripping them off.

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As is the way with all second albums, this will be judged harshly at first because by its very nature, it has no time to grow, but give it time. It’s got more staying power than Permission, and it was well worth the wait as the songwriting has improved tenfold. Vocals are a lot more stable this time around as well, fitting into the song structures in a much slicker fashion as opposed to smothering the song. Dinner Lady Arms might be a dumb title for a song, but the flawless melody must surely make it a contender for the next single. You know, sometimes, a quick knee trembler is all you need. With the Darkness, that’s pretty much all your going to get. Thumbs up from me. Over to you Mr Miserable Bastard... SS

Enemy Fire... ✪✪ OK, I’ll admit it – I’m not a fan of this lot. Haven’t been since I saw them empty the Hallam FM Arena in Sheffield when supporting Def Leppard (for the record, the majority stuck around while Ricky Warwick played, but did one once this lot started up. Just saying…) But I’m always willing to give bands a second chance, to be proved wrong (it has been known to happen), only The Darkness have seen fit to prove me right.

This album is mediocre at best. Retro is all well and good, but there’s a fine line between that and sounding dated – and the Lowestoft lot have charged across it, screaming falsetto all the way. You’ll already know the single (and title track), and that’s actually one of the highpoints of the album, but as the rest of the songs are in a serious dip, height is relative. The problem is two-fold – the production, and Hawkins’ obsession with trying to reach notes only dogs can hear. Take Knockers (the titles really aren’t great either). There is no need for the chorus to be sung falsetto, it just makes a bad song worse (the piano break would embarrass Chas n Dave). Is It Just Me (yes, probably) fares slightly better, but there’s still the high-pitched wailing in the background – and it’s here that the production issue really starts to kick in. We’re on track three by now, and none of the raw, spiky guitars of before have shown up. What we have instead are subQueen riffs, licks so tame you could show them to your granny. The fault lies with Roy Thomas Baker (who worked with Queen, you’ll be stunned to hear) – the man slated by Ozzy for ruining No Rest For The Wicked. Rather than letting the Darkness do what they do best (stupid, dumb rock songs), he’s tried to make them into a serious musical entity. That’s not to say they aren’t serious musicians, they are – but as a band, humour has always been their strong point. Instead, we have sweeping orchestral arrangements which just sound cheap (Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time) and guitars that sound like Status Quo (Is It Just Me). And Dinner Lady Arms sounds like a Cutting Crew or Icehouse Bside. The second half of the album is worse (I can’t even begin to describe how bad Hazel Eyes is, and The Dandy’s might want a word about English Country Garden), but everything pales when closing track Blind Man arrives. I’m sure its supposed to be emotive and heart-felt, but it isn’t. It’s overblown, pompous and everything that punk rebelled against in the late 70s. Mind you, if this lot accelerate the current punk revival, I won’t be complaining. KJ

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Anthrax Anthrology: No Hit Wonders (1985 – 1991) Island ✪✪✪✪

Back in the day, it was easy to dismiss Anthrax as a joke band. Singing Indians with a big headdress on, or the hilarious I'm The Man, people often missed what was under the surface. If this double album does anything, it shows those people what they've missed. Taking in the entire Joey Belladonna era of the band, Anthrology is supremely strong collection. From the scything Madhouse, through the brutal trio of Among The Living, Caught In A Mosh, and I Am The Law, to Efilnikufesin, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath and I Am The Man, disc 1 is a supreme reminder of how the band blended killer riffs with melodic vocals and a decent chorus (it's not a crime you know). Over on disc 2, the story continues – and shows how Anthrax grew and developed over the years. Their cover of Trust's Antisocial is arguably their most accessible track, while Keep It In The Family, In My World, Belly Of The Beast, Got The Time and the supreme Bring The Noize show how the band grew, developed and broke new ground. OK, there's nothing of the John Bush years, but that isn't what this album is about. Diehard fans will want this for the uncensored version of I Am The Man and the French Version of Antisocial. Casual fans will want to be reminded what they got excited about almost 20 years ago. Those of you who like the current crop of metal wannabes need this a history lesson. KJ

65daysofstatic One Time For All Time Monotreme Records ✪✪✪✪ Articulating feeling and emotion without words is a difficult task, but with their unmistakeable mix of progressive rock, dance and electronica, Sheffield's B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

more than enough to hold the attention. Those with a shorter attention span are also catered for though – Mercy is a snip at three minutes, and Unforgiven and Everyone Wants To Rule The World are both snappy and accessible. Basically, Wall Street Voodoo has something for everyone who's open minded, and you'll get out of it what you put in. KJ 65daysofstatic do a fine job. One Time For All Time takes you on a rocket ship ride through 65daysofstatic's confused universe; sometimes delicately freefalling through twinkling piano, soaring strings and atmospheric synthesised ambience, other times propelling you headfirst through cyber space with an explosion of pounding drum 'n bass and pockets of jarring guitar noise. After the critical acclaim received for last year's debut album, The Fall of Math, 65daysofstatic had a lot to live up to, but One Time For All Time continues to do the business. Forgive them for what is possibly the most boring album artwork ever and lose yourself in this euphoric, exhilarating and intense new collection. CM

Roine Stolt Wall Street Voodoo InsideOut ✪✪✪

Ball & Chain Jon Amor ✪✪✪✪

The new EP from English singer/guitarist Jon Amor serves as a truly mouth-watering taster of forthcoming album Unknown Soldier. This is Jon's first solo material since the disbanding of his band Amor, and musically it's a world apart from those blues rock days. In fact, each of the three

album tracks are so varied and so strong it makes it very hard to talk about with any accuracy. It needs to be heard! The title track starts with an echoing basic drum beat and delicate bright acoustic guitar before the bass gives the verse a nice bouncy groove. The main electric guitar comes in for the choruses with Jon's voice sounding as strong as it ever has. Excellent harmonica interludes by Robert Plant (of Led Zeppelin) and lead guitar breaks from Jon only serve to strengthen the track. The other tracks from the album, In The Devil's Back Yard and Free My Way are equally grooving in very different ways. The former being a modern rock track with elements of folk (there's even something that sounds like a banjo!) while the latter is very bass-led with a staccato guitar melody. Aside from questionable backing vocals in both cases, both are very strong tracks, indicating the new album will be a veritable host of musical variety. The bonus tracks are acoustic studio session recordings of The Supremes' My World Is Empty Without You and Even After That from Amor's second album, beautifully demonstrating Jon's more resigned acoustic side. Buy this now and you will not want to miss the album next year. AL

It's rare these days to find an album that makes you think, it's even rarer to find a double album that does it! Welcome, then, to the world of Roine Stolt. If you've heard of him before, you'll probably have half an idea of what to expect. If, like me, you haven't – you're in for one hell of a ride. Basically, over two discs, Mr Stolt tells his tales of modern life against a backdrop of blues and progressive rock, with splashes of Cream and Hendrix chucked in for good measure. Songs that clock in at around the 10 minute mark are always fascinating to me, and with the likes of Sex Kills, The Unwanted, and the delightful Dirt, there's 073

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Supercharger Heaven The RoadRunner Diaries MERCYFUL FATE MELISSA Roadrunner Records ✪✪✪

thrown in for good measure. To be honest, this ‘re-mastered’ footage is absolutely terrible – I’d hate to see the originals. The band move like extras from Team America: World Police, and the focus falls too much on Diamond’s performance instead of the band’s output. The music videos aren’t fantastic either, coming off as cheap horror shorts with a standard metal soundtrack. Wanna listen to some decent 80’s black metal? Just buy the Mercyful Fate re-release.

passion, and Cavalera is undoubtedly the driving force behind this band. Pure, furious power is abound here, and this takes Soulfly to a level where they seem a more conceptually secure band than Sepultura ever were.

SEPULTURA ROOTS Roadrunner Records ✪✪✪✪

For those of you out there that don’t have any idea where the sound of 80’s metal came from, I suggest you go out and buy this album. With the ever-lovable King Diamond on vocals, Fate sported dark, satanic lyrics over fast, aggressive music and harnessed the way in which ‘image’ was becoming an important factor in rock music. This is the 25th anniversary rerelease of Mercyful Fate’s first album, Melissa, which set the recipe for pretty much all future metal albums, with classics such as Curse of the Pharaohs and the church-offending Evil being honoured by Metallica on their 1998 track Mercyful Fate. And as a treat, there are six ‘bonus’ tracks of unreleased material – nothing particularly special though, as they just sound the same as the original tracks. There’s also a DVD of the band performing live in Holland in 1983, with an exclusive audio commentary from King Diamond – to be honest, the visual and audio quality is appalling on what otherwise is a passable performance. The commentary is mildly interesting, but nothing to write home about. But, it’s worth buying just for the original tracks and the extended liner notes – ignore the bonus tracks and the DVD. KING DIAMOND ABIGAIL Roadrunner Records ✪✪ Having parted ways with Mercyful Fate, King Diamond set about a solo project. Embracing the mysticism and all-out thrill-ride performances of Alice Cooper and KISS to a further degree than he ever did with Fate, Diamond’s solo project allowed him to focus more on his vocals and the concepts behind the music. Of course, knowing the massive impact Mercyful Fate had upon the genre, it’d be hard for King Diamond to top his previous efforts – and he doesn’t. Focusing far too much on promoting his unique vocal style, Diamond seems to just lock himself into key and forget about the band. There’s some ‘bonus’ footage too – 4 sketchy unreleased tracks, and a DVD of King Diamond performing live in Sweden, with three music videos

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Sepultura’s previous efforts had struggled with the integration of the tribal aspects of the band’s Brazilian heritage with the grinding power of modern metal, but Roots finally nails it – opener (and global moshanthem) Roots Bloody Roots epitomises their unique sound. Songs such as Attitude and Ratamahatta display the all-out raw power and energy of the band, unleashing a primal urge within the listener that just makes you want to run around the woods hitting things with sticks. Ironically, Roots was shunned on it’s initial release – but has since become a much-loved classic; I can see this re-release being treated with far less trepidation and criticism, especially considering the highly retrospective music scene at the moment. And, although other re-releases recently have squandered the ‘bonus’ features option, Sepultura have taken this chance to reveal some hidden gems, including the bowel-loosening Procreation (Of The Wicked). The liner notes are incredibly in-depth and offer a frighteningly unique biographical look at the band, and, despite the lack of any visual extras on offer, this doesn’t matter when the actual goodies are of this quality – with FOUR versions of Roots Bloody Roots, you’ll be head-banging for hours. If you’ve ever liked Sepultura, buy this album. SOULFLY SOULFLY Roadrunner Records ✪✪✪✪✪ After splitting from Sepultura in 1996, shit happened for Max Cavalera. He locked himself away for months on end and wrote this album. There’s no bitterness, only raw

This album opens with Eye For An Eye, and first impressions dictate that Soulfly won’t be pulling any punches. With a grinding heaviness and razorsharp vocal style that perfectly compliments the moments of seemingly random tribal jamming, Soulfly satisfied the Sepultura fans wanting more – this confirmed further with each successive track. More so than on any other rerelease, the bonus features here are incredible. More than extensive liner notes give a hugely detailed biography of the build-up and creation of the album, supported by a spoken summary by Cavalera on the second disk. There’s also a full live set, and an impromptu acoustic jam recorded later on. There are a few extras on the first disk, but these are mostly just studio jams and won’t really impress. Well worth buying if you like Cavalera’s style though. FEAR FACTORY DEMANUFACTURE Roadrunner Records ✪✪✪

When Fear Factory released their first album Soul of a New Machine, they were already pushing the boundaries of what modern metal fans would put up with. Their debut album laid the tracks, and this is the 700 tonne freight train that storms forward over them. Demanufacture contains spectacularly composed eerie synthesiser punctuated with barked vocals delivered over a tight and uncompromising beat.

by Seb Willett Standout songs such as Body Hammer and H-K (Hunter-Killer) are delivered with a terrifying amount of precision, and show that the industrial sound pioneered by artists such as Al Jourgenson and Trent Reznor has evolved into an altogether heavier and more band-orientated style. Released during a time when sludgy down-tuned riffery ruled the roost, Fear Factory’s surgical voracity came out like sounding like the thunderous march of the rank-andfile of post-industrial cyber-metal. Industrial has always been quite closely associated with dance music – so the additional tracks on that close the first disk and compose the Remanufacture disk are remixes in this vein. It sounds like a new album in its own right – and is a far more traditional sounding industrial effort, interesting, but not amazing. However, it sadly doesn’t live up to Archetype, their most recent effort. COAL CHAMBER COAL CHAMBER Roadrunner Records

✪✪✪✪ Coal Chamber are one of those bands that if you’ve never deliberately listened to their music, chances are, you’ll have no idea who they are. Back in 1997, Coal Chamber were THE band to listen to: where Korn explored a melding of rap and metal, Coal Chamber sourced ‘goth’ for inspiration – and very successfully. Nu-metal has never sounded so good… Coal Chamber have always had a very distinctive sound – meaty guitar, thunderous bass, funky drumming and frantically aggravated, raspy vocals – a sound which they revealed with this debut release. Opening track Loco shows how nu-metal SHOULD have sounded, with a rumbling bass-line and stomachchurning riff that would embarrass modern-day "nu-metal" bands. Songs like First and I only serve to confirm this – closing track PiG finalises the album with an obnoxious sneer at censorship and taboo. The ‘bonus’ tracks are OK, but a bit superfluous when taken into context with the rest of the album. The bonus DVD is better, with two energised live performances and the slightly spooky promotional video for Loco. Despite the band’s break-up in 2003, this album serves as reminder of how heavy metal can get.

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Riverside Second Life Syndrome InsideOut ✪ Whether you think this album is beautiful or pretentious is largely in the ear of the beholder. Like a leftover from the late-seventies, it’s full of ethereal, mystical sounds – layered, echoing vocals, hypnotic drumming, twinkly piano melodies and guitars solos that are heavy on the reverb. It’s all technically very clever and instantly forgettable. Dad-rock of the highest order. SE Deadsoul Tribe The Dead Word InsideOut ✪

You might expect an air of confidence from a band’s fourth studio album. Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be the case here. It sounds good on paper. There’s a dark and brooding feel to it, plenty of angstfuelled lyrics and metal guitar. There’s a ghostly, gothic vibe to the vocals, but sadly the whole thing sounds like a demo. This album took only a month to make, and it sounds unfinished. There’s too much reverb in one place, none in another, the vocals sound like they’re coming from miles away, whilst the mesmeric drumming echoes from down a very deep hole. Devon Graves (aka Buddy Lacky from Psychotic Waltz) may be a multi-instumentalist and songwriter, but he ought to get an expert in to do the mixing and production. Disappointing. SE Buzzkill Driven By Loss In At The Deep End Records ✪✪✪✪✪ Every now and then something B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

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comes along that you've been waiting for – whether you knew it or not. So it is with Buzzkill. From the moment the solid riff of Once A Liar kicks in, your head's a nodding. And then the horns kick in, and the adrenalin levels go off the chart. Not since Rocket From The Crypt have a band blended punk riffs, sneering vocals and frantic drumming so seamlessly with a horn section. Broken Picture shows this perfectly as Ben and Matt blow your head off before Matt's guitar finishes you off. In My Head is even heavier, while Burning Your Yesterdays has beat you can bounce to. Basically, there's not a bad track in sight. Driven By Loss is a pounding, shredding kick-arse album that needs – and deserves to be played at full blast. That way, everyone gets to hear it. KJ Various Artists Avon Calling – The Bristol Compilation Cherry Red Records ✪✪✪✪

Way back in the day, Bristol wasn't just some place you went through on the way to somewhere else, it had a thriving music scene which rivalled anywhere in the country. In 1979, Heartbeat Records celebrated this fact with Avon Calling – a compilation which brought together the leading lights of the scene (Private Dicks, Gl*xo Babies, Europeans and Apartment among them). John Peel said the compilation was “the one that sets the standard for any future compilation, not a bad track on it – truly superb” “the one that sets the standard for any future compilation, not a bad track on it – truly superb”, and then that was it. Tastes changed, the buzz moved on, and fans were left wondering what all the fuss was about. This is what the fuss was about. Now, the album has been rereleased, and as an added bonus, there's a second disc containing the wealth of 7" singles Heartbeat put out – including the Dicks'

superb She Said Go. Basically, if you like late 70s punk/pop (think Undertones or Buzzcocks) this is the thing for you. It's a slice of history and a stash of forgotten treasure all in one. KJ Colt These Things Can't Hurt You Now So Throw Them In The Fire Something To Listen To ✪✪✪✪

This is the band formerly known as Living With Eating Disorders. Realising the name had locked frontwoman Andrea Kerr in with her own demons, they took evasive action and became Colt something with stronger connotations, and which gave them a fresh start. That's not to say the new album's full of post-rehab songs of new beginnings. Glasgow-born Kerr sings of danger, desperation and despair in a voice that veers from sweetness to savagery in an instant. Jared Hawkes underpins her fractured melodies with gothic soundscapes which move from womblike security (Never Know) to the (literally) hysterical panic of I Abort. In many ways this is the band that Goldfrapp should have been instead of dwindling into oohla-la pop princess decadence. Let's hope that the pain-wracked landscapes of Kerr's imagination lead her into a less anodyne, and ultimately more satisfying future. CO'B

Go Betty Go Nothing Is More Sideonedummy Records ✪✪✪✪ According to the biog Nothing Is More is the difficult second release that almost split all-girl rockers Go Betty Go over musical differences. Good thing, because its the vicious clash of cultures and influences here that makes their take on the Veruca Salt-patented sugary guitar pop with a sting in the tail formula so much more exciting than the usual. So-Cal via Hispanic heritage vocalist Nicolette Vilar switches

seamlessly from the all-American pop chorus of anthem to the workshy L.A woman I’m From L.A to trilling in Spanish while her band support with flamencotouched guitars on No Hay Perdon and Donde Voy. Further adding ska sounds, and a surprisingly fragile acoustic ballad Nothing Is More is a refreshingly diverse sophomore effort. AB Nural Weight of The World Hopeless Records ✪✪✪✪✪

The little shits. At no point should teenagers produce material of such maturity. It should be fuckin' illegal. Hailing from California, Nural (average age 12 or something. I'm not bitter…) have produced a rock album people 10 years their senior would be proud of. Passionate vocals from Kyle Casellani, killer riffs from Charlie Hoy and Ryan Davis, hooks big enough to land a whale and choruses that lodge in your head for a week – what more could you want? Opener Tension sets things up nicely, while Lukewarm, Not Guilty and Enlighten Me ram the point home. And even when they slow things down (Root of All Evil, How do You Sleep at Night), the little sods still manage to pull the trigger, proving that "ballads" don't need to sloppy, slushy affairs. If this is how they're starting out, they're going to be phenomenal in years to come. Best you get in at the start, so you can say you've always been a fan…. KJ

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Supercharger Heaven

Razamanaz Razamanaz Perris Records ✪✪ Razamanaz (presumably named after the Nazareth album) were formed way back in 1993 by Britny Fox guitarist Michael Kelly Smith. Many labels were interested in the band, but a final deal was never realised until now. Unfortunately, the band, and the host of very strong tracks on this CD are severely let down elsewhere. Firstly, some of the tracks very clearly haven't been remastered from the original demo versions, so on tracks like Make You Mine, Rock 'n' Roll Outlaw, Tied Up and In The Dust there's some truly horrific hiss and noise which makes otherwise excellent songs almost unlistenable. Secondly, the songs Kicks and Walk, Don't Run are utterly horrible and sound totally out of place with the rest of the material. Lastly, as bad as Make You Mine and In The Dust sound, you have to endure them twice! Different mixes/edits of them appear later on the CD as bonus tracks. It's a shame, because killer tracks like Urgency, the instrumental Swamp Slide/Bad Feelin' Blues, Pain and covers of Aerosmith's Seasons of Wither and KISS' King of the Night Time World can't quite save the album. AL

David Bowie The Platinum Collection EMI ✪✪✪ Fuck me, it must be Christmas. So what do we have here? Three discs spanning The Laughing 076

Gnome's career over three decades. Disc One is the bollocks. The Jean Genie, Diamond Dogs, The Man Who Sold The World, Suffragette City – no selfrespecting rocker should be without those in their collection. Disc Two is a tad more hit and miss, for every Heroes and Sound And Vision, there's a live version of Knock On Wood and The Secret Life Of Arabia. Disc Three is better, but it's no Disc One. Ashes To Ashes, Scary Monsters and Up The Hill Backwards are all class, but Lets Dance and Under Pressure are pap. Best you get on i-tunes and cherry pick the best tracks. KJ

Tokyo Dragons Give Me The Fear Escapi ✪✪✪✪

all the ‘coolest’ emo-punk and modern-metal bands gather together and tour the world, playing sold-out shows to crowds of hoody-wearing teenagers. Can’t argue with that. In fact, you can’t argue with too much here – with 39 bands and 2 disks (the first is more punky, the second is the heavier metal option), this caters primarily to the kind of people who’d go see the Taste of Chaos tour; but if you wanna hear some new bands, listen here. This expansive compilation serves a perfect warm-up to the snarling aggression of the bands on the tour, which is also worth going to check out. Listen if you want attitude without obnoxiousness. SW Rock The Bones - Volume 3 Frontiers Records ✪✪

The Riverclub Long Before I Reach The Phone Bravestar Records ✪✪✪ Hastings kids The Riverclub’s emopop blend of melody and muscle is a pretty familiar sound, one that can be heard in the toilet venue of every UK costal town. And although much of Long Before I Reach The Phone struggles to rise above the average, there are some moments of promise. The band’s creative use of synths and keyboards is one innovation that will mark them out from the pack on the determined march of My Girl. The stompy Call If You Want To meanwhile kicks out an angular riff that hints that the current indie nu-wave revival, and an instant chorus that is enough to suggest it’ll be worth hanging on for the album to see if their potential will amount to any more than that. AB Arnocorps The Greatest Band Of All Time Anticulture ✪✪✪

Tokyo Dragons wear their influences on their patched denim ‘n’ leather sleeves on this riffdriven retro rock debut which fuses together all the best bits of their 70s rock heroes. Single What The Hell starts things off well with a filthy great motherfucker of a pilfered AC/DC riff and screeching stadium chorus. But as with many of the classic rock revivalists to follow The Darkness’ success there are moments when you wonder if they’re not just being selfconsciously ironic with us. The Spinal Tap cookery innuendos of Rockin’ The Stew for instance simply wouldn’t go down if not countered by a huge spoonful of sugar in the shape of Kiss-style stormer Let It Go. Nonetheless it’s a solid first effort, full of solid songwriting and hints of a bright future. AB Various Artists The Best of Taste of Chaos Warcon Records ✪✪✪ For those of you not familiar with the Taste of Chaos tour, I’ll explain:

With the internet thriving the way it is, what the hell is the point in compilations like this? People already into the kind of melodic rock Frontiers deals with won’t care about this release as they probably have all the albums the tracks are taken from anyway. There are no exclusive tracks on this double CD to entice any melodic rock fans, so that’s them out. And any potential fans of the bands here can just as easily spend an hour or so hitting all the bands official websites and the Frontiers website and downloading tracks to have a listen. Compilations like this are a complete waste of time. Musically, well, it’s the usual fare. Journey, Styx, Soul SirkUS, Joe Lynn Turner, Glenn Hughes, The Mob and so on and so forth, most of which have been reviewed in their own right with their albums, so what’s the point in talking about the individual tracks by them on here? Don’t waste your money. Check out the bands (some of them are great!) online and buy their albums. AL

Looking over the track-list for this album, there was an eerie feeling of familiarity… Total Recall, Running Man, Eraser… That’s right, folks, Schwarzenneger films! Apparently taking inspiration from Austrian folklore, Arnocorps play a quite generic form of punk-metal, which really damages what is otherwise a good album. These guys really excel at lyrics, though. Every song is peppered with a seemingly impossible number of pop-culture quotes from the films, which, combined with the overthe-top image, really propels Arnocorps into a league of their own. The last 3 tracks are great: Crom (Strong On His Mountain), Terminator and Last Action Hero all epitomise the catchy hooks and lyrical hilarity that have got the band this far. If you’re a fan of any of the films, pick this album up. SW w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E

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Sinocence Black Still Life Pose Coprorecords distribution ✪✪✪ Passion, integrity and solid hard work go a long way in music. They’re qualities that can be hard to find. These Northern Irish boys are currently unsigned and are plugging away at distributing their debut album by sheer force of will. The low budget makes the skinny production forgiveable, especially once the exhuberant rock guitars and technical, tricky drum breaks set in. They list Machine Head, Marilyn Manson and Megadeth amongst their influences and there are shades of all of those on here. They may have a fairly traditional metal sound, but the post-grunge vocal style gives it a contemporary flavour. A diamond in the rough it may be, but I’d rather listen to this than to a shedload of sleek, overhyped corporate rock. KJ

Dead Kennedys Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables Cherry Red Records ✪✪✪✪

So, you like punk music, do you? You've got your copy of American Idiot, you've got a couple of albums by Blink 182 and Sum 41, you're a real anarchist. Hell, you've even played Never Mind The Bollocks while your parents were in the house, 'cos you're a rebel. You're as punk as Christmas. If you REALLY want to get into punk music, this is the album you need. Guitars being played through crap amps, a singer barely able to B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

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hold a note, songs spat out as quickly as possible – this is what it's really about. As well as the classic tracks Holiday In Cambodia, Chemical Welfare, California Uber Alles and a version of Viva Las Vegas that would make Elvis spin in his grave (if he were dead). As an added bonus, and to celebrate the album's 25th birthday, it comes with a DVD with a documentary on the Kennedys' early days and the making of Fresh Fruit, featuring some rare live footage. If you remember this first time around, you'll want to replace your vinyl copy with this. If, like me, you were too young (cough), then you need this as a lesson in what real punks are about. KJ Various Artists Cover It Up: Volume 2 Nuclear Blast ✪✪✪✪

Norwegian black metalers Theatre of Tragedy and eighties pop-starlet Kim Wilde? How about the misanthropic goth metal of Type ONegative and the country/folk stylings of Neil Young? You couldn't get more diametrically opposed, right? Wrong. If you're not familiar with the concept behind Cover It Up, the compilation sees stars from the darker side of metal and goth performing cover versions of classic tracks; though often from very different genres to the ones they usually frequent. While it's maybe not so extreme to hear Samael covering Alice Cooper's I Love the Dead, or Sinner's take on Metallica, there are some truly inspired covers here, the pinnacle of which has to be Graveworm's version of R.E.M's Losing My Religion – and perhaps what's most shocking is just how damn well it works. Overall, a great mix of goth and metal bands, as well as some bigname appearances from HIM and Nightwish. And the best thing about this compilation? Under the guise of metal you can listen to all of your cheesy pop favourites from

the likes of Babylon Zoo and Abba without anyone knowing your guilty secret – genius! CM I Am Ghost We Are Always Searching Epitaph ✪✪✪✪

If you were feeling cynical, you might instantly write off I Am Ghost as all-too-similar to a certain New Jersey five-piece; but while they might both indulge in painfully confessional lyrics and a love of the macabre, this band bypass the emotional vulnerability that characterises Gerard Way and his cohorts for an equally vehement, but much angrier sound. At times, lead singer Steve Juliano practically vomits the dark lyrics over crushing hooks and pounding hardcore punk drumming, but other tracks seamlessly blend classic rock guitar twiddling and beautiful harmonies with subtle strings and piano to offer a touch of elegant gothic ambience. Although the comparisons to bands like MCR may continue to hinder them, the endless raw energy and intoxicating melodies will ensure that I Am Ghost are more than good enough to make their own mark on the genre. CM

Al Stewart Just Yesterday EMI ✪✪✪✪ Now, when I proudly produced this in the office, the editor was dismissive. Well, what he actually said was

"review that and your bollocks will be on the Christmas tree", but I'm sure he was only joking… So why are bring you news of this career retrospective of one of England's finest singer songwriters? Well, that's one reason. Another is he had Jimmy Page play on his first recording, thirdly, he shagged Yoko Ono before John Lennon did, and finally – it's fuckin' good. Over four discs, you get Al's entire musical journey, from his early days on the London folk scene, through Year Of The Cat (the only track most of you will be familiar with) to his more recent – and more mainstream – recordings. There's also a superb book chronicling his career and a fifth, live, disc. If you like gentle, story-tellingstyle music, then this is definitely worth investigating. Alternatively, buy it for your dad for Christmas and then 'borrow' it… KJ (Editors Note: The office tree looks excellent this year...) My Ruin The Brutal Language Undergroove/Rovena ✪✪✪✪

The Brutal Language expands little on the vicious musical vocabulary of previous My Ruin albums; violent drum battery, lumbering beasts of riffs and Tarrie B’s infamous throat-shredding vocal style are still the medium of choice, but on album number four the band have distilled their aural aggression down to its most concentrated form. Showcasing just 9 new songs The Brutal Language is a record without an ounce of flab about it. Where 2001’s A Prayer Under Pressure… whacked you with slabs of impenetrable noise, TBL will give you a more textured listen. Mick Murphy’s grinding stoner rock riffs form the record’s backbone, while stunning solos like the centrepiece to The Devil Walks lend a telling hint of classic metal to what should surely be considered My Ruin’s own classic. AB 077

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At the Drive-In

KONG ✪✪✪✪✪ Before the dust created by The Lord of the Rings had settled, rumour and speculation was rife as to what maverick director Peter Jackson would tackle next. Before long the only titles in the running were The Hobbit and a remake of black-and-white classic King Kong. You may have heard which he chose to go with. An overzealous film director Carl Denham (School of Rock’s Jack Black), his leading lady Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts), and screenwriter Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody) head on a filmmaking expedition to the mysterious Skull Island. Once there, they discover a village protected by a huge wall, and inhabited by a tribe of primitive and brutal natives who turn out be the least of their worries. Ann is kidnapped by the tribespeople and given as a sacrifice, but to what? We soon find out as Kong appears, all 25-feet of imposing computer-generated menace. Snatching the beautiful Ann he heads for the hills, with Denham and Driscoll hot in pursuit. 078

Considering that this is an old story retold, there are a remarkable number of surprises along the way, with a variety of new and suitably revolting creatures crawling out of the scenery as we make our way around the island. After one such encounter with what

can only be described as oversized insects, Driscoll continues to search for Ann alone, while Denham concocts a plan to capture Kong and take him back to New York. While Jackson's remake is necessarily darker than the original, there is also plenty of

humour, particularly as we see the bond between Kong and Ann strengthen. For a big-budgetfamily action adventure, the acting on offer is surprisingly good. Oscarwinner Brody is suitably understated as what is effectively Kong's love rival, while Black's movie producer is almost as slimy as some the less creatures they encounter. Watts also puts in a good show although, at times, her relationship with Kong is a little less than plausible. However, the real star of this movie is Kong himself. You may have seen the trailers that showcased the photoreal computer generated special effects, but cleaned-up and inserted into the narrative they are flawless and jawdropping, particularly between the epic clash between Kong and three mightily upset Tyrannosaurus Rex. Despite the film's length (three hours!) , Jackson manages to maintain a relentless pace that, at times, leaves you almost breathless. If you like your action thick and fast, then this monster of a film is for you. PA

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DOOM Released: Out now ✪✪✪ Let's face it, if you're standing in a queue waiting to hand over your hard-earned for a ticket for this film, you're not going to be hoping for a bittersweet meditation on the nuances of modern relationships. No you're going to want blood. Buckets of it. Thankfully, Doom scores on this mark, as it does (surprisingly perhaps) on a number of others. All you need to really know of the plot, such as it is, is that scientists have uncovered something nasty on Mars, and an elite military unit has been dispatched to "contain" the problem. Sticking very much to the spirit of the game upon which it is based, we get treated to only the briefest of brief (though not quite to the point of desultory) set-ups before we arrive at the meat and drink of the movie i.e. following marines with really big guns through darkly lit corridors waiting for the mayhem to start. Chief among them are Karl Urban (Lord of The Rings) as Reaper the troubled, edgy one - and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (The Mummy) as Sarge the hard as nails one. As with the rest of the cast, which includes Rosamund Pike (a

welcome temper to the surfeit of testosterone) and Dexter Fletcher (welldeployed as the comic relief), they both turn in very solid performances. The Rock is especially good, revealing a natural charisma and effortless delivery that makes knee-jerk pigeonholing of him as a monosyllabic walking bicep seem very unfair. The script is tight and despite occasional lapses into cliché and incomprehensibility (especially when it comes to back story) does deliver some original feints and frights. Its vague exploration of slightly weightier issues such as the soldier's struggle of conscience between duty and humanity is never entirely convincing, but it's a refreshing change to have anything attempting moral ambiguity in a film of this nature. A standout sequence involving an elegantly set up switch into first-person point of view (a'la the game) is genuinely pulse quickening and a bit of a tour-deforce. I suspect it will be much imitated. Unlike all too many game-to-movie conversions, you get the impression that this is something that's been made with genuine enthusiasm for the subject matter, and if you share that enthusiasm, you're not going to be disappointed. JMa

Crying Fist Released: Out now ✪✪✪✪ There's no denying Crying Fist is a boxing movie through and through, but it's not easy to draw any of the usual comparisons. For a start, the two leads aren't even aware of each other's existence until their climactic encounter in the ring at the end of the movie. Min-sik Choi, star of the magnificent Old Boy, here plays a man carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders - crippling debt has ended his marriage, separating him from his beloved son, and all he has left apart from the bottle are fast fading memories of his Olympic boxing silver. He has a face that could make Bill Murray at his most lugubrious look brimming with joie de vivre. Seung-beom Ryu plays the Korean equivalent of an ASBO kid, who seems resigned to the inevitably of ending up just another young punk in jail, which is exactly what happens to him. A boxing tournament gives both men the opportunity to escape from the harsh cards that life has dealt them - the older man needs the prize money and the kid needs the get out of jail free card that will come with winning. The style is resolutely downbeat and gritty throughout, but what it lacks in glamour it more than makes up for in character, and the viewer is slowly but very surely sucked in until you can't help but feel totally emotionally involved in the final fight, the impact of which genuinely took me by surprise. Director Seung-wan Ryoo's film has its faults - it's overlong, for one thing - but, if you're patient, it will yield rich rewards. JMa

Keeping Mum Released: Out now

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Director Niall Johnson explores the trials and tribulations of family life in this wonderfully dark comedy set against the quaint English village of Little Wallop. Rowan Atkinson plays the naïve bumbling vicar, oblivious to his wife's (Kristin Scott Thomas) sexual infidelity with her cringingly sleazy golf instructor (Patrick Swayze). The arrival of their housekeeper, ironically named Grace, seems the answer to their prayers. But Grace proves appearances can be deceptive as a dark secret is slowly brought to the surface. Grace (Maggie Smith) plays saviour to the village in a dark comic spin on Mary Poppins. With the best intentions to rid the village of unsavoury characters and protect the family, Grace employs some interestingly dark methods involving a spade and an iron in the midst of the night. The consistent sinister undertones create an unsettling sense of discomfort, however these are carefully balanced with light humour and innuendo. The sensitive performance by Kristin Scott Thomas, as the frustrated Gloria Goodfellow shines from the pitfalls of the often predictable plot, and Patrick Swayze sends himself up as the rippling golf pro with a penchant for women in any shape or form. The level of irony pervasive in this comedy is cleverly sustained whilst focusing on the psychosis of the seemingly gentle Grace through a light-hearted approach. Recommended for a late Sunday afternoon when nothing else is on the agenda. Undeniably entertaining despite its predictable nature. NL

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At the Drive-In

NARNIA Released: Out now ✪✪✪✪ Everyone's calling this year's blockbuster Christmas movie The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe 'Lord of the Rings for kids'. Of course, Lord of the Rings was for kids too so that's a bit of a garbled statement, but it is true that this fantasy epic based on the second book of C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia is more of a heartwarming family affair than the aforementioned doommongering trilogy. The Pevensie children, played by a quartet of plucky young actors and actresses, are sent from World War II-ravaged London to stay in a professor's country home, where they discover the magical world of Narnia lurking in the depths of a wardrobe. The foursome team up with the kindly and powerful lion Aslan to defeat the wicked White Witch who is forcing Narnia into an eternal winter. 080

An impressive cast, including Liam Neeson as Aslan, James McAvoy as Mr Tumnus and Ray Winstone and Dawn French as Mr and Mrs Beaver, adds professionalism to the whole affair, although possibly the best performance comes from Tilda Swinton as the

terrifying White Witch who plays the part with utter conviction having perfected the obligatory icy glare. The only real disappointment to be found here is Disney's embracing of the Christian overtones of the story. Obviously a big audience

winner in the States, Brit audiences might not take so kindly to having a large dollop of religion served with their Christmas film extravaganza. Despite this, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe is the only film you should leave your Boxing Day lie-in for this year. KR

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THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE Released: Out now ✪✪✪✪ Emily Rose (Jennifer Carpenter), is an apparently healthy 19-year-old college student. One weekend, alone in the dorm, she claims she is attacked by demons, but fights them off. Campus doctors diagnose epilepsy and prescribe medication, but while being cared for at the college hospital Emily believes that she is possessed, and seeks the help of her priest, Father Richard Moore (Tom Wilkinson). Father Moore attempts an exorcism, and Emily dies. The Exorcism of Emily Rose, inspired by real events, follows the trial of Father Moore, who is charged with negligent homicide. Agnostic attorney Erin Bruner (Laura Linney) is appointed to defend Father Moore who, through his trial, is determined to tell Emily's story. It would be impossible to talk about Emily Rose without harking back to 1973's The Exorcist, but the fact is that these are two very different films. The Exorcist was brutal and unforgiving, with its innocent beginnings gradually giving way to growing horror, the tension and terror building incessantly while the later film, though equally shocking in its own way, ebbs and flows, swapping courtroom for classroom, as Emily's story is told in flashback. B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

Jennifer Carpenter is excellent, giving a strong and convincing performance as the increasingly desperate Emily. Laura Linney and Tom Wilkinson are also in fine form, lending real weight to the proceedings. The film is both gripping and touching,

tender and tragic, and director/writer Scott Derickson should be applauded for his reliance on acting talent, of which there is a great deal, rather than special effects, to tell Emily's story. PA

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On the Sofa

THE DEVILS REJECTS ✪✪✪✪ Okay, I admit it. I am a sick, twisted individual who enjoys taking forays into the cinematic dark side. I know I am not alone since horror movies are currently making their 7-yearcycle comeback. Case in point, a tremendous roster of horrific film releases…theatrical, pay cable and direct-to-video that are bubbling in the vats waiting to be released to the thrill-happy unwashed masses. When a genre great like George Romero finally receives enough backing and clout to do yet another living dead film (19 years after the last one), it's more than obvious that the money suits think horror is worth the investment. Which takes us to Rob Zombie's Devil’s Rejects, the semi-sequel to his 2002 labor of love House of 1000 Corpses. While his first film was a fun ride, it lacked many

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of the qualities that make good cinema… things like a coherent plot, dialogue, and a point. What it turned out to be was a kaleidoscope of wonderful set pieces and images slapped together by a "superfan." Anyone familiar with Zombie's music and videos would know that ol'

Robbie is obsessed with all things horror and exploitation. The kitschier, low budget, BMovie-ish the better. 1000 Corpses possessed the soul of every grainy, 70's exploitation film. As you watched it unfold, you recognized every loving tribute. Yet the sum did not equal the parts in a way that made it original or vital. What a difference a few years makes. The Devils Rejects is everything his first film was not. In fact, it is everything every other lame recent cinematic remake attempt at capturing the look and feel of that time is not. It is original, funny, clever, brutal, colorful, scary, thoughtprovoking and freakin' fabulous. It's hard to believe it was made by the same guy who directed that first film. Point of fact, it is the work of someone with such a complete understanding of the source material that it reads like an actual product of that time in every way… from the acting to the cinematography to the music. It is a searing, faithful homage to everything from Texas Chainsaw Massacre to Bonnie and Clyde, with spaghetti westerns thrown in for good measure. I was so awash in it's glories that I nearly wept with joy! Zombie has made an instant classic of

its kind that speaks a language steeped in 70's exploitation film glories. To love Rejects is to love everything about 70's exploitation cinema, in all its sleaziness, debauchery and beauty! Zombie's textbook understanding of the genre is spot-on perfect! More so than any other attempt I have ever seen. Oh, uh…by the way…it helps tremendously if you do indeed love 70's exploitation films…otherwise, the whole enterprise may hit you over the head like a ten ton block of blood engorged entrails To put it another way, it's not for everyone. There are no redeeming characters. No sympathy. No logic. No reason. It is a full throttle attack on the senses featuring four of the most loathsome, diabolical, sick, twisted, soulless characters ever put on screen. They kill innocents with such tremendous love and glee, you actually feel guilty watching. You'll say to yourself, "Why I am enjoying this? What kind of sick individual am I that I am sitting here, grinning from ear to ear, loving every minute of the carnage and horror being flashed before my peepers?" So, a warning: Watch at the risk of your immortal soul. Heh-heh-heh.

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The main plot (yes, it does have one) sees ‘Barb’ - famous for never taking sides – deciding to help her ex-boyfriend expose a government conspiracy when he shows up at her bar hotly pursued by a corrupt colonel and some other sinister types. The film bears more than a passing resemblance to a futuristic remake of Casablanca except with more guns and things exploding. If these and a ridiculously proportioned lead are your chief criteria for a quality movie look no further. The rest of you can avoid this live-action cartoon as if your life depended on it. Extras: None DL

Extras: ✪✪✪ Commentary by Paul Haggis, Don Cheadle And Bobby Moresco, making-of featurette, introduction By Director Paul Haggis, music video and theatrical trailer. Dig! Released: Out now

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Crash Released: Out now

✪✪✪ The Frighteners: Special Edition, Released: December 26

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Almost a decade ago, and way before Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson cowrote and directed The Frighteners. Michael J. Fox is a small town psychic, but he is also a conman and fraternises with three ghosts who help him make a living out of exorcising ‘haunted’. Frank believes he has a great scam going until the town’s residents begin to think that he has something to do with an evil spirit on a killing spree. Frank is desperate to find the murderous omen and banish him from this world – but is he up to the job? Despite receiving a serious panning from all corners upon its release, this is a great film with cutting-edge effects, and the perfect movie mix or horror and comedy… albeit very, very dark comedy. And it’s got Marty McFly in it!! Extras: Director’s cut and commentary, deleted scenes, making-of, interviews, documentaries, cast and crew’s own ghost stories and outtakes. RW Barb Wire Released: Out now

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The opening credits of this film see Pamela Anderson as Barbara ‘Barb’ Kopetski, clubowner and bounty hunter, engage in a seductive dance routine which culminates in her being sprayed with plenty of water. It’s all very much downhill from there. A rather obvious vehicle to marry the geek love for bigbusted fantasy heroines together with Anderson’s physical charms, the rest of the picture is just trite sci-fi nonsense that gives Pamela the opportunity to parade around in a succession of tightfitting outfits.

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Crash, the debut directorial effort of the wonderfully named Paul Haggis, is a multi-layered ensemble piece very much in the vein of Magnolia or Short Cuts. Brendan Fraser’s District Attorney is carjacked while on a night out with his wife (Sandra Bullock), a couple’s marriage is nearly destroyed after a runin with a grotesquely racist cop (Matt Dillon), a homicide detective (Don Cheadle) struggles to care for his ailing mother and keep track of his wayward younger brother (who turns out to be one of the car jackers) etc etc. Despite my eyebrow rising at a few of the coincidences, these and other plot strands are pretty seamlessly woven together. However, the presence of A-list celebs in minor roles does ring a few alarm bells of the “worthy project” variety and, indeed, it can feel at times like the director is standing over you screaming “WE ARE DEALING WITH IMPORTANT ISSUES HERE!” in your ear while repeatedly hitting you over the head with a rolled up copy of the script. I’ve no idea if LA really is the tinder box of bigotry and resentment waiting to flame up into violence at any given opportunity depicted here, but whatever you think about the issues this film ambitiously attempts to explore, it’s undeniable that it is superbly faultlessly, even - shot, directed and acted. Indeed, it’s easy to enjoy Crash purely on this level. If you start digging a little deeper, however, problems soon arise. That people have the capacity for both good and evil is hardly revelatory. That even the worst can find some sort of redemption in individual acts of courage or kindness is only arguably more interesting but, when combined with film-making of this quality, makes Crash a worthwhile way to pass a couple of hours.

The recent rise of the feature-length documentary hasn’t had much to do with reality. Despite claims of authenticity, the quirkiness manifest in today’s ‘serious’ reportage puts most spoof efforts to shame. But Dig is different. For a start, being real is itself under the rock microscope. Anton Newcombe, lead man of the Brian Jonestown Massacre is in artistic turmoil, and has doubts about giving in to the machine: “Until they can write the letter that I’m writing, they are the postman and I am the letter writer. Period”, rings his whinier-than-thou American accent. This is, to quote filmmaker Ondi Timoner, “where art meets industry”, and the whole ‘scene’ is on display. But the underground gives way to the rise of fashionable fashion rejects The Dandy Warhols, and you’ll soon feel the flames of friendly rivalry licking at your eyeballs. Wipe them clean and watch as talent envies success, and success earnestly praises talent. Gape at the sheer sixties-ness of the BJM’s commune mentality, and marvel as tambourine and sitar soundtrack a barroom brawl – literally, and nearmusically in the band’s fiery retro melodies. Mercifully, there is no sensationalism at hand here. The source material spans seven years, and the band’s personalities more than carry the show. The promise of another 1498 hours of footage also confirms this as a remarkable example of editing-room dedication, though I can’t silence my curiosity for the untold stories, and the promise of more antics from oblivious Sam Rockwell/Kevin Eldon love-child Joel of the BJM. That aside, this is truly the stuff of legend. Like the wise souls who tried naively but commendably to bottle the spirit of Woodstock, we should be thankful that someone’s awake to the cool of today. Indeed, Timoner acknowledges that for those of us growing up in the 80s and 90s, “we knew we’d missed a certain era that was very rich, where there was a counter-culture, where the guitar was pretty new, and these guys (in the bands) are like, hell, we love that time”. They’re not the only ones. Extras: ✪

Trailer, and an insightful talk with the woman responsible. NM

Fantastic Four Released: Out now

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Not dark enough to measure up to Batman, and with no huge and exhilarating set-pieces like Spiderman, Fantastic Four inhabits the middle ground between both. As X-Men showed, this can work too, but the fantastic-ish foursome are like the slightly slower kids that Professor Xavier can’t be bothered to teach himself, and seem limp in comparison to other superhero film stars. The film feels uncertain – hinting at some serious action but backing out at the last minute, almost generating genuine belly-laughs, but deciding to stop pushing the funny buttons. Most disappointing of all however, is that there’s not enough investigation of, and playing with, the four’s new-found powers – the best part of any superhero movie. For someone who can stretch his body to ridiculous lengths, Reed Richards doesn’t seem all that surprised, nor does Sue Storm seem unduly worried about her sudden seethroughness. At least Michael Chiklis’ The Thing, and Chris Evans’ Johnny Storm react in slightly more layered, although contrasting, ways. Whereas Ben Grimm plunges into rage and selfpity at his rocklike form, cocksure Johnny Storm pushes himself and his powers to the limit and, surprised and ecstatic at the same time, has some serious fun with them. As irritating as he is, Johnny Storm is the best of the lot, with Evans unashamedly over the top and loving every second of it. With Chiklis’ The Thing, the makers took a big risk in choosing to eschew CGI, and being able to see the character behind the (literally) craggy features adds a great deal to the story, but

something isn’t quite right. The expressions of horrified New Yorkers would suggest that the hulking, orange man-mountain is a fearsome sight to behold – but for those watching, he’s just a bloke in a big rubber suit. In the film’s favour, it gets right in there, cutting out unnecessary exposition or character introductions, and within ten minutes the team are in space being blasted by cosmic radiation. The casting is pretty good too. Other than Chiklis and Evans, the cuterby-the-second Alba does what she can with a completely one-dimensional part,

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On the Sofa Wrestlemania: The Complete Anthology Silver Vision ✪✪✪✪✪ It would be spectacularly dumb of me to hand out anything less than a five star rating on this box - I mean, it’s made of 31 discs and spans 21 years of the biggest spectacle of them all. You can’t argue with longevity and while one or two of them will be watched with one finger on the FF button (stand up and be counted Wrestlemania 9!) others will be watched again and again because the sheer bravado. That’s what I always loved about the WWE. Never afraid to take chances, they often fell hard on their ass, but when they get it right, hell you’d be hard pushed to find a better show on earth. Old fans will doubtless savour every second of the whole box because history in the making

Jake the Snake Roberts: Pick Your Poison Silver Vision ✪✪✪✪✪ I kinda thought that the Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior would be the best disc from this new ‘legends’ series Silver Vision are putting out, but nothing prepared me for the story of Jake Roberts. Always loved the guy and thought I knew a lot about his background - turns out I knew almost nothing. On the first disc of this 2 disc set, Jake openly and frankly talks about a childhood that would have killed a lesser man - turns out it nearly has killed him in more ways than one, but you really need to hear Jake tell it himself to get the choke out of it. Couple that with some excellent research on his career and chats with the people who knew him best and you have a great start to a package. Some 084

of the stories that come out are exceptionally funny, others quite moving as it moves from the destruction of his marriage to the semi destruction of himself through drink, drugs and well... you name it. Jake can give more than a few dangerous rock n roll bands a run for the money. Over on disc two we find some of his best matches. The feud with Honky Tonk Man (which at Wrestlemania 3 featured a cameo from Alice Cooper), the bitter but excellent battles with Rick Rude and best of all the hookup he made with the Undertaker. You know, some things in life can’t be bought with Mastercard - some things in life that are beautiful are created out of things so ugly they have no right to exist. A practically flawless biography of a fantastic athlete who nearly lost it all - but I’m really not sure about some of those suits from thew 80’s! SS

ain’t what it used to be. New fans though might struggle with some of the lengthy choke holds and submission techniques that have since been culled in the name of entertainment.. can DiBiase really hold someone in the Million Dollar Dream for that long? Highlights of the early days Wrestlemania 1, 3 and 6 were all top notch. Wrestlemania 10 was also pretty good, but from 13 onwards, they really start getting hot. Wrestlemania 21, last years main event, is incredible and the wealth of talent is stunning. To be quite frank, if you think this is all fake posturing for children, shut the magazine now and never come back because you really don’t understand where we’re coming from. Again, pretty much a flawless product. One day everything will have this much thought out into it. SS

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and Ioan Gruffud is suitably dull as Mr Fantastic. The weak link here is Julian McMahon’s Doctor Doom. Who’d have thought that a half-metal megalomaniac that can control electricity would make a deeply boring and unworrying villain? A sequel is already lined-up, so here’s hoping that director Tim Story is kept well away from the project, and someone who knows how to crank up the tension, laughs, action and excitement takes the helm instead. At least it’s better than Daredevil. Extras: ✪✪✪✪ Commentaries, documentaries, makingof, casting sessions, deleted scenes, music vids and trailers MS

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however, is nothing like as straightforward as that précis makes it sound, and you have to dig very hard to find any kind of coherent narrative.

Killswitch Engage: (Set this) World Ablaze Released: Out now

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I’ve always liked Killswitch Engage. My opinion after watching (Set This) World Ablaze, their first live DVD release? I like them even more! Having broken the mould for melodic heavy metal, Killswitch Engage have always maintained quite a unique sound – and they play it well here. Performing in their hometown of Worcester, there’s so much energy and passion here that you’d be forgiven for thinking you were actually there. Howard Jones, having recently taken over frontman duties from Jesse Leach, flawlessly evolves his voice from a ragged, cracked tone to a melodic crooning instrument, and he never lets the audience rest.

Green Street Released: December 26

one of Hideki’s students, and he and his estranged wife begin a paranormal investigation… Light on action, but creepily atmospheric. OW

There are, at least, three story threads tangled here: the son, the transplant, and a hinted-at violent Russian past for Subor, which seems to be catching up with him. But if this movie is about anything, it’s about absolutely minimal dialogue; static shots of interminable length; and barely-sketched characters we never care about because we never learn anything about them. Oh, and dogs. Lots of dogs. Still, it’s not un-atmospheric, and has a soundtrack by Stuart Staples of the Tindersticks. And no film featuring Beatrice Dalle is a total write-off. OW

✪✪ Following his expulsion from Harvard for being caught in possession of cocaine, Matt (Elijah Wood) is shipped to London to visit his sister. Shy, nerdy baseball fan Matt Buckner is soon shoved into a world far removed from his civilised Ivy League life and introduced to the shady world of hooliganism. The hooligans of the plot, otherwise known as the ‘firm’ are the Green Street Elite. Led by Pete Denham (Charlie Hunham), this macho clique of West Ham supporters spend their Saturdays drinking and beating the living daylights out of their opposing teams’ own firms. Failed yank student Matt is finally accepted into the Green Street Elite, transforming him into a confident fullyfledged hooligan. This film does glamorise hooliganism, while real hooligans may chuckle at the ludicrous elements including the overuse of cockney slang. However, Elijah Wood puts in an impressive performance, for those of you conjuring images of Frodo chasing football thugs. A somewhat credible film. Extras: Interview with Elijah Wood, ‘making of’ featurette, director interview, UK & US trailers NL

The Intruder (L’Intrus) Released: Out now

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The Intruder is, on some level, a film about a recluse (played by Godard alumnus Michel Subor) living on the French-Swiss border, who undergoes a black market heart transplant and sets off on a journey to Tahiti to find his long-lost son. Claire Denis’ film

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Killing Joke: XXV Gathering. Released: Out now

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This live DVD from Feb 2005 captures KJ at their tribal best. As always, Jaz Coleman is the main attraction. He looks genuinely unnerving at the front of the stage, in his make-up and boiler suit, flitting between madness and lucidity, part demon, part preacher. The show spans their enormous back catalogue. Classics are delivered with a real sense of belief and freshness. Wardance, Requiem and Pssyche sit easily alongside more recent tracks such as Asteroid, Pandemonium and their biggest hit, Love like Blood. Overall, a brilliant offering from Killing Joke – if you only know the big hits, check this out and see what you’ve been missing all these years! Extras: Interviews

Scarface Released: December 26

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Despite great songs and great musicianship, all eyes are on Howard Jones and lead guitarist Adam Dutkiewicz as they vie for centre-stage – Dutkiewicz parading in small leather hot pants and a black cape in a seemingly possessed state. The band do little promo (when was the last time you saw them on the cover of anything?), letting the music speak for itself. There are no politics, no secrets or lies, just determined raw power and pure energy as the band plough through classics from all three studio. If you aren’t a die-hard Killswitch Engage fan when you put this on, you will be by the time it draws to a close. Extras: Four music videos, Documentary footage throughout band’s history, extensive band interviews SW

Along with Little Caesar and The Public Enemy, Scarface is one of the gangster films of the 30s that defined the genre and whose legacy was still very much evident decades later in The Godfather and Goodfellas, as well as, of course, Brian De Palma’s 1983 re-imagining of the film as a frenzied Studio 54 cocaine binge hangover. The 1932 original still packs a powerful brass-knuckled punch, and you can see why it had a two year struggle with the censors, who insisted on re-shooting the ending and adding a subtitle (The Shame of the Nation) before permitting a theatrical release. The film is a who’s who of early 20th century celluloid creeps, with appearances from George Raft and Boris Karloff, as well Paul Muni as the titular Tony Camonte. Loosely based on the life and crimes of Al Capone (who proudly owned a copy of the film), the story follows the rapacious rise of Tony from small-time hoodlum to mob boss, to his inevitable fall, and does so with a panache and artistry that puts most of what’s currently available in your local multiplex to shame. Extras: Alternate ending, game and trailer JMa

Premonition Released: Out now

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“Dread by my premonition / Contending the bone” sang Ned’s Atomic Dustbin in 1993. As a lyric it might be a bit opaque, but it’s positively crystal clear in comparison to this latest Japanese horror from Norio Tsuruta, the director of the uninspiring deadly-audiotape drama Ring 0. Boring and predictable though it may be to say this, Premonition very much conforms to the Ring / Grudge / Dark Water template, involving teacher Hideki Satomi stumbling upon a scrap of newspaper bearing a prophetic headline of his daughter’s imminent death. Three years later, following an interview with a psychic who can take polaroids of the future with her mind, another headline predicts the death of

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On the Sofa Clash of the Titans Released: Out now

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King Kong Boxset Released: Out now

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With Peter Jackson’s Kong remake upon us, it’s time for another cash-in boxset to wring more coin from ape-hungry fans. Of course the real highlight here – and deservedly so – is the original 1933 version which contains that iconic shot of the giant gorilla atop the Empire State Building. Having inspired many a filmmaker and set a blueprint for the blockbuster which has rarely been deviated from, the original King Kong is a classic worth your time. The other two films in the set are from Japan and stray ‘a little’ from the beaten path. First up two screen behemoths meet in King Kong vs Godzilla before the ever-so slightly more surreal King Kong Escapes sees Kong take on his robotic doppelganger MechaniKong in Tokyo. Both films are here with the chief aim of satiating someone eager for more big monkeys but ultimately they’re just a fun escapist test to see if you can spot the strings and find the seams in the suits. Extras Collector booklet, colourised version of King Kong (1933), documentary, interviews, trailer for King Kong (2005) DL King Kong: ✪✪✪✪

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King Kong vs Godzilla:

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King Kong Escapes:

How do you make a mediocre film into a cult classic? By giving it a special DVD release of course. Normally reserved for public holidays, this 1981 Greek epic has been wheeled out for (an unnecessary) re-release onto DVD. Based on the legend of Perseus, this follows his adventures to win the hand of the princess Andromeda and save her from sacrifice to the dreadful monster, Kraken. Featuring a stellar support cast including Ursula Andress (who else) as Aphrodite and Laurence Olivier as Zeus, this is jam-packed with marvellously silly special effects and glorious ham acting, especially from leading man, Harry Hamlin.

His battle with Medusa is a particular highlight with the truly scary monster prowling around after our hero. It’s all incredibly dated, of course, but that is part of its charm. If epics are your thing, then don’t hesitate to add this to your collection. Otherwise, just wait until its inevitable rerun on telly at Christmas. Extras: Conversation with Ray Harryhausen, Map of myths and Monsters gallery LS

Heartbreak & Triumph Shawn Michaels WWE Books

✪✪✪✪ Since Mick Foley smashed down the gates with his blistering autobiography, WWE have been pumping out biogs at an alarming rate. Some have been excellent and some not - probably because the subjects really haven’t got enough years behind them. Ric Flairs was killer as was Hogans - they come and they go. This one however has been eagerly awaited mainly because Michaels has always kept his private life pretty much to himself, so it’s good to read about the man behind the superkick for a change.

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Silver City Released: Out now

Sky Blue Released: Out now

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Silver City is an absorbing drama that many will have missed on its cinema release in July. It’s a kind of detective thriller delving into the murky waters (literally) of US gubernatorial candidate

The problem with a lot of Eastern animated features is that their visual flair and imagination is marred by an incomprehensible or incredibly dull plot. Sky Blue is, unfortunately, no exception. In the year 2140, mankind’s reckless exploitation of the environment has sparked a planet-wide catastrophe that has shielded the sun from view and all but ended human civilisation on earth. Only a small number of elites possessing power and technology have been able to thrive, building a magnificent, organic city - Ecoban. Thousands of refugees have come to Ecoban seeking asylum, but the elites have barred their entry to the city and forced them to settle in the surrounding Wasteland, and become their workers. Are the elites working for the benefit of mankind, or is there a conspiracy afoot? With a production cost estimated at $10m, Sky Blue is the most expensive animated film ever made in Korea, and the money is there for all to see.

Dickie Pilager, played by Chris Cooper. On the campaign trail, a body turns up at the most inappropriate moment, and a washed up, ex-political journalist (Danny Huston) is hired to investigate; and find out who’s trying to burn “the candidate”. In this satirical snap-shot of America, it’s not hard to see which politician is being targeted by Cooper’s folksy dimwit, Pilager: “He’s never been much of a reader.” Silver City has a strong cast rounded out by Richard Dreyfus and Daryl Hannah, ably led by Danny Huston. The movie works well as a Chinatown-style investigation, and political satire-well worth catching up with on disc. Extras: Decent selection with a good documentary featuring the cast and crew. JMe

Coming from humble beginnings to life in the Rockers brings back some great memories - but it gets far more interesting when we reach his early thirties, we find that his body is almost destroyed from taking just about every risk there is to take. While we all know that every wrestler puts it on the line every night, most of the seriously injured guys dont’t come back to dominate the sport with the ability to headline a main event. For those wanting to get into the best of the man, hunt down Michaels vs Harts Iron Man match or Michaels vs HHH at Taboo Tuesday. Then come back and read this... SS

Director Kim Moon-saeng, has created an amazing mix of traditional 2D and three-dimensional CGI. But as dazzling as the animation is, the worthy storyline will kill your brain. LL

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Paper In Fire infatuation with DC characters from his childhood years, sculptures, limited edition prints and astonishingly enough, work that has never been published. Are these people mad! There’s material here that thousands would pay well over the top for, me included. His work with personal favourites of mine like Spectre and Green Arrow have done wonders to revitalise previously redundant

MYTHOLOGY Alex Ross Titan Books

✪✪✪✪✪ Make no mistake, Alex Ross is the greatest living comic book artist - and that’s without exception. Mythology is like looking at the work of a guy who has surpassed even his own expectations with regards to working in the genre. This collection is simply breath-taking. If you’ve ever wanted to be a comic book artist, then Ross is the man to better, but hellfire, he’s set the bar so incredibly high I honestly can’t see anyone within spitting distance that can match the guy. The book is packed with everything you could ever want to see - examples of his

V FOR VENDETTA Alan Moore/David Lloyd Titan Books

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I used to love this series as a kid but I;m not sure if I think this is great because it brings back good memories or because it truly is. Given the sheer quality of Alan Moores work over the last 30 years, I’ll go with the latter even though it does look a little B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

dated, but then as somebody so kindly pointed out, that’s because it is. V for Vendetta belongs in a time past , I kind of see where Moore is coming from with his bad feelings about the forthcoming film but I’ll still check it out. The artwork here serves only to move the story along but what a story it is! For those of you unfamiliar with it, please, please - you must check out the original before going to the movies otherwise the innocent political posturing of a young man at war with the world will be lost on you - and you can’t buy that back afterwards. It is 1998 (which was the future back then!) and a Fascist government has taken over the UK. The only blot on its particular landscape is a lone terrorist who is systematically killing all the government personnel associated with a now destroyed secret concentration camp. Codename V is out for vengeance ... and an awful lot more. It’s complex, it’s exciting and it’s as paranoid as they come, but given the year it was written that’s hardly surprising and it certainly sets the pace for Moores future

characters - somehow he even manages to make the biggest pile of dross character ever thought up - Martian Manhunter look cool. All that’s left to please this tiny mind of mind is for him and Neil Gaiman to resurrect The Question and i could die a happy man. This updated version also includes 32 new pages of paintings from the new Justice series along with an exclusive Superman/Batman story. It’s not right that one man should possess talent in such copious amounts, but he does and all fans of the genre should have a copy of this on the shelf. Lest we forget, the package has been put together by the number one book designer in the business Chip Kidd, who gives it that edge and also provides the storyline for the aforementioned Superman/Batman story Throw in a neat introduction from Mr Shyamalan and you have a perfect gift for any comic book fan. For anyone who thinks this is not a genre to be taken seriously, well, you are SO missing out! SS

work - as far as the beginnings of a career go, you can’t get much better or stronger than this. It’s always worth going back to the old Warrior comics that it’s collected from too in order to get the perspective right. So to go back to the beginning of the review, having dissected it left, right and centre in my head, I would commit to my original decision and say that it truly is great. It’s not flawless, but that’s part of it’s charm. Moore answers to nobody in this game and I’m sure he can live with a little criticism about his first major work. See the film by all means but don’t shaft yourself! Read! SS 087

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ESCAPE TO T.V.

ESCAPE TO T.V. ESCAPE TO T.V. ESCAPE TO T.V.

It’s the great BURN Christmas giveaway - and we got stacks of the stuff here. Fill your boots, it’s firstout of the mailbox.. The incredibly groovy Fantastic Four comes the little screen we’ve got 10 copies of this to give away, and the first one out of the mailbox also gets this good lookin’ Toshiba DVD player! Fantastic Four is available to buy and rent on DVD, UMD and VHS from Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment from 2 December 2005 © 2005 Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment LLC. All Rights Reserved

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Over at Anchor Bay, they’ve been throwing around some cool stuff. We’ve got five Blind Dead boxsets doubled up with five Creature Feature boxsets! That’s enough to keep any horror fan happy for a couple of days! Send that entry in... they’re as good as yours! If you’re unlucky enough to be a complete losert though, you can always pick them up in store! Blind Dead is available to buy right now and Creature Feature from 24 January.

Ever seen a ghost in a shell? Us neither, but we have three of these rather groovy tins to hock about. The tin includes a copy of volume 7 of Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, a laughing man t-shirt and a Tachikoma ID Card.

Got yourself a PSP for Christmas? Take a look a this little set of neat blockbusters: 28 Days Later, Chain Reaction, Cheaper by the Dozen, Kiss of the Dragon and The Fifth Element. Want it? It’s all yours if your the first one in. Also available to buy on UMD right now from 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment.

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Grease paint &

Monkey

Brains Welcome to the Christmas Experience! Just when you thought it was all going swimmingly well and life couldn't get much better, who should come along but regular joe… Whenever I'm switching CD's over in the car, the radio comes on. I'm not sure why. It shouldn't but it does. It happened to be an “o'clock” while I was switching today so the news came on. Believe me, it's not something that I normally tune into - hell, the war in Iraq was over before I even knew it started. This story caught my ear long enough to listen to the end of it - it went something like this: “An 18 month old baby was found abandoned today in (anytown). He was naked in his buggy but otherwise in good health. Police and social services are appealing for the parents to come forward”. What for exactly? Are they going to give them the kicking of their lives? Are they going to strip them naked on the coldest day of the year and staple them by their hair to a 'phone box as an example? Will they tie them with chains to the back of a Harley and drag them through town as a lesson others not to be so fucking stupid? No. They'll probably have a nice chat with a cup of tea, maybe someone will get sectioned or maybe somebody will go to prison. I'm not sure of the legal workings in a case like that, doesn't really matter. The punishment will hardly fit the crime will it? I once knew someone whose mother had whatever job it is where you're able to section someone. She told me a story one day about a guy who carried his mothers head around in a carrier bag. He only got found out when the head started to decay and smell. First question on my lips was 'where was the rest of her?' He got sectioned straight off the bat. Did the punishment fit the crime? Probably. Maybe his mother had done something so bad that her punishment was suitable to 090

her crime also. We shall never know… and we really won't because I honestly don't know the end of the story. I forget lots of things. I completely and utterly forget how I came to be asked to illustrate a book of poems by a guy who was/is in prison for murdering his girlfriend. I can't draw for shit, but he was a nice guy y'know so I went ahead and did some bits anyway and the damn thing got published. In it's first week of release, it sold eight copies. It was a kind of small-time publishing house obviously but eight is OK sales, right? This in turn caused me to remember the story of a guy I knew from ‘overseas’ who shot a man because he took his parking space. A bit extreme, but not as extreme perhaps as going round to the judges house and telling him that he was next if he got put away. Some people really are off the scale. Back in the late eighties, when hair was big and ego was not so smacked about, I used to know this guy who we'll call Paul mostly because that was his name. To say that he was 'off the scale' would probably be quite an understatement. We had absolutely nothing in common with each other apart from the fact that we lived in the same part of town and both drank in the same pub. I suppose that's what qualifies as a 'friend'. Anyway, he did more drug shit than anyone I've ever known. Too many mushrooms with acid tab chasers on a daily basis can't be good for you. He was a bit of a manic depressive too - he cut himself up pretty bad with razor blades and knives quite often. Despite all of this, he was an incredibly nice guy. Time moves along though and the last time I saw him was around 1990 (fuck I got old quickly)... I was back home for a few days to do the radio show and I end up in that very same pub with some friends that I haven't seen for almost as long. Curious as to how everybody is getting along, we inevitably go through the list of people we know - who's married, who moved abroad and then we get around to Paul… My friend tells me that he got fed up with being a drunk fuck-up. He cleaned himself

up, got himself a girlfriend, went to college and was getting his shit together to be a drug counsellor. I mean, if you were in drug trouble, you'd want someone who had been there right? Then one night, he lies down for a bit of a rest, falls asleep with a cigarette in his hand and well, you can guess the rest. One more dead friend to add to the list of people who should still be here - although in his case, and I know he wouldn't mind me saying it, it's a fucking miracle he made it that far. There have been others who fell by the wayside as well. Bike accidents, car accidents, diseases and just good ole Death herself taking an active role in the thing we call our 'life'. Not so very jolly seasonal stories huh. All of these things happened just before various Christmas in various years gone by. You could probably catalogue similar events in your life without trying too hard. Shit happens. Everyday of the year, somewhere, shit happens. It happens to you and it happens to me, but why is it that all the really bad shit always seems to happen to someone else? Maybe there's some kind of cosmic databank that takes care of 'really bad shit'. So whether you like it or not, here comes Christmas - and we'll all have too much to drink and shove too much powder up our noses or whatever your vice is because far too long ago we all stopped believing in Santa which is the start of the great 'growing up' we all do. First you stop believing in Santa, then fairies and pixies but you shouldn't. You shouldn't because that leads to the loss of innocence and you stop believing that there are scary things under the bed and things you don't want to know about in the cupboard. But it's good to be scared of the dark and things you can't see. This next bit of text is in black on a black background..

Scary huh. Reality check.

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A P R I L / M AY 2 0 0 4 BURN