Gorgeous Dilemmas - Ally's Anthology

Page 1

Gorgeous

Dilemmas



I dedicate my anthology to those who never feel like their smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough or do enough. You are enough.



Name Vignette How can a four-letter word embody who I am? It can’t possibly express my awkward side, my creative side or my confused side; because I am confused. A name is such a simple thing to have ownership over, yet is the tour guide to your life. It is what us, what guides our lives and is the first adjective used to describe you. Not morning person or colorful personality. Just Ally, and I am ok with that. As my mother watched TV in the 90’s, my name’s inspiration grew like a tumor. Entering the the set to the popular tv series was Ally McBeal; my name was born. Though I needed a more professional name in case I walked along the same path of my names inspiration. So on July 30th 1999, a blue eyed, redheaded girl was born already shouldering the expectations attached to her name, Allyse. It means nobility or noble kind to strangers. It means loving daughter and vibrant friend to others. But to me it has no meaning. My name evokes no emotion, no deeper thoughts, perhaps because I still have yet to connect to it. Yes, it is me but I am more than a word on a name tag. I’m a piece of grass poking through the cage of snow. Unseasonal. I’m a crack in the canvas of an exquisite painting. An imperfection. Something to paint over. My hands quiver when I talk in front of large crowds yet I say my name boldly to individuals like they can feel the pride embedded in it. The definitions of me on the Internet plaster even more weight on my shoulders, a weight that begs to be relieved only by the unjustifiable definitions coming true. A name should be something that suits you, not something that you have to fit into. Its like a new bag, it should be you; you shouldn’t have to suit it. But unlike my name, I can buy a new bag. The inner struggle should be a myth, a wives tale. Who I am shouldn’t be a challenge, something I have to Google to know the answer to. And it shouldn’t be four letters. It should be a paragraph. Something I can shout from the mountaintops without hesitation. It should be a collage of images from when I was 2, 9 and 13. Images from when I first walked, I first laughed, my first day of school. But now I look to the future. Anticipating my graduation, traveling the world, and growing up. Maybe even one day I will make my own definitions for myself and follow those instead of the ones that have been made for me.


Autumn by Rainer Maria Rilke

The leaves are falling, falling as if from far up, as if orchards were dying high in space. Each leaf falls as if it were motioning "no." And tonight the heavy earth is falling away from all other stars in the loneliness. We're all falling. This hand here is falling. And look at the other one. It's in them all. And yet there is Someone, whose hands infinitely calm, holding up all this f a l l i n g


Autumn uses symbolism with the leaves and hands. The leaves could be a person, plunging, needing someone, the hand, to help and hold them up. It could be referencing to winter coming and Mother Nature’s hands, are keeping all of the leaves from falling. Autumn could be referring to someone on their deathbed, falling, and God holding them up from descending into an immortal sleep. This poem has an abundance of meanings, allowing the reader to make their own interpretation. The description and detail to the words swallows the reader into an image of the scene, leaves falling, hands, the universe. Falling is a commonly placed word in this poem. The lack of pattern for use of the word could mirror the lack of order when leaves are falling.


Lament by Edna St. Vincent Listen, children: Your father is dead. From his old coats I'll make you little jackets; I'll make you little trousers From his old pants. There'll be in his pockets Things he used to put there, Keys and pennies Covered with tobacco; Dan shall have the pennies To save in his bank; Anne shall have the keys To make a pretty noise with. Life must go on, And the dead be forgotten; Life must go on, Though good men die; Anne, eat your breakfast; Dan, take your medicine; Life must go on; I forget just why.


Millay took a common theme and made it personal; Life must go on. Her simplicity provides a more realistic feel for the audience, and an easy connection to the reader. Lament explores repetition, echoing the same sentence three times in different sections of the poem, hinting to a deeper theme. The theme of this poem is to look forward and accept what cannot be changed. While the theme is inspiring, the tone contradicts it with a dark and wretched sense. This poem pushes imagery, describing the fallen dad forming a strong portrayal of whom he was.


Invictus by William Ernest Henley Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.

It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.

“Invictus” applies an abab rhyme scheme as a wri6ng form throughout the poem. Henley uses a simile to expand the meaning of “Black” and figura6ve language to reach the perfect Goldilocks Zone. The theme promotes strength and perseverance by using words like, “unbowed, unafraid and unconquerable”. Henley’s inspiring piece speaks to a variety of intellectual levels with an indirect way of communica6ng his inten6ons through this piece with metaphors and examples; “Finds, and shall find, me unafraid”, “It maGers not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll”. “Pit from pole to pole,” is an allitera6on because of the repea6ng “P” three 6mes in the same sentence.


Medicine by Daughter Pick it up, pick it all up. And start again. You've got a second chance, you could go home. Escape it all. It's just irrelevant. It's just medicine. It's just medicine. You could s6ll be, what you want to, What you said you were, when I met you. You've got a warm heart, you've got a beau6ful brain. But it's disintegra6ng, from all the medicine. from all the medicine. from all the medicine. Medicine. You could s6ll be, what you want to, What you said you were, when you met me. You could s6ll be, what you want to. What you said you were, when I met you. when you met me. when I met you.

This song depicts the path of someone gone the wrong route and the writers faith in them finding their way back. Medicine incorporates repe99on in stanza 4, lines 4 -­‐ 6. This poem has a lot of faith and hope that transfers to the reader in a melodic way. Medicine has a rhythm but instead of it rhyming it explores a beat allowing the words to role of the tongue fluently. “Medicine” could be symbolism for many different bad habits, drugs, bad rela9onship, alcohol, etc. The theme of this poem is to take a U-­‐ turn; head back onto the right path and escape the poison of your wronged route.



Instruc9ons for a Bad Day by Shane Koyczan

Instruc,ons for a Bad Day does exactly what it says; instructs, “Be calm… Be diligent… Be pa9ent…” Koyczan explores frighteningly honest depic9ons of society and burly metaphors to stress his message that life will be okay. This poem alludes to Tupac Shakur’s poem “The Rose that grew from the Concrete”, wriQen about a rose that grew from the concrete and its beauty. The poem builds during the middle and descents during the end, making the reader inspired during the growth and rendering thought about the poem during the end. Koyczan applies retrograde, ending the poem the same way it started, and repe99on to finalize his point in the poem.


Pull Me Back to Sanity By Ally Norris

! ! ! ! ! ! ! Everyone! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Falls! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Down! ! ! coming ! ! ! ! ! ! ! And loses hope of ever ! ! ! ! ! ! !

! ! ! ! up ! ! ! back ! ! !

!

!

!

!

For me, my family is the rope

sanity to back me pulling


Scattered Thoughts.

Not

Knowing How To Cope

With Heavy

Pressures Of

Life


Sheltered from society, with the best intentions

Secrets being buried under the dirt of guilt

Paranoia of exposure following like a shadow

Expectations of who you are, who you should be, who you will be.


Getting everything you wished for Having everything you want Life goes as planned And as expected With goals being Achieved Like it Happens To

Everyone


All of these stanzas touch a common theme – my family and life. I explore my families’ role in my life and life itself. I chose to do different shapes for every stanza because each one explores an intricate aspect in my life and should each be represented with a different shape. The first shape mirrors my poems words about falling by have the words in the stanza going down. The second shape is used to echo the “scattered” message by having all of the words sporadically placed. For the third image, the solidness of the shape represents my solid and sheltered life. I’m sheltered not only from normal teenage conventions but also by living in a nice neighborhood and city, not having to witness the evil of the world. And finally the last stanza is in the shape of an exclamation point; highlighting my amazement and appreciation to have everything I have wished for in life. I used a simile in the third stanza “Paranoia of exposure following like a shadow” to make the line more relatable for the reader.



Three by Ally Norris First, second, third; leader, heir and just me Born first; became a natural commander Enabled the best due to her degree Thinking everything she gets is grander

Second; least likely to thrive and succeed Forming a shadow of her eldest kin Expectations that she cannot seem to feed In a race with herself to try and win

The shadow of a worn shadow; the third Forced to go a anew or race an old run Reserving her voice for they know her word Always feeling like the unnoticed one

Third in the line-up of diverse sisters Loving every moment, dreading the end‌


I chose to write every stanza about one sister so I could focus in on each ones role. The first stanza – about Maddie, the eldest - depicts her role as the sibling leader and her “grander” opportunities because she is a first-born. The second stanza is about Dakota’s place and role. The first line – “Second; least likely to thrive and succeed” - isn’t directed towards her, but is a characteristic of a second born I read in a book and does not apply to Dakota directly. I used that knowledge to provide a different perspective and external opinions on second born children. The third stanza is about myself, about how I shadow someone, Dakota, who is a shadow herself. The third line explains that when I was a child I didn’t need my voice because my sisters could always use theirs for me. The final stanza is my turn, going from dark to hopeful, about loving my sisters and enjoying my time with them. I chose to include “dreading the end” because this year has taken a turn, Maddie going to college and Dakota in high school, a reminder that within the next 5 years our closeness will be a memory.


Truth by Ally Norris

Tantalizing Truth;

Summer divorce with brutal

Candor and impacts


This haiku follows the basic 5, 7, 5 syllable rule and incorporates a kireji and a kigo as well. The semi colon signifies the mark in the poem changing points but keeping the same theme – the kireji. “Summer” is the kigo representing a season in a direct form. I chose to set the tone with two powerful words at the beginning and have them start with the same letters to have a poetic feel. The second line carries off into the third without starting a new point because I wanted the second line to be the main idea. The theme of this poem is discovery over time, written about uncovering truths about my parents divorce. I chose to say “impacts” because they could be both positive and negative.


Even though we may hope for the best, the pessimistic monster called Reason creeps up your spine like a shiver and demands recognition. It demands to be acknowledged and fed until Reason grows like a weed, towering over all of the buoyant flowers. I have always thought the villains were stronger. The devil was more brawny; the shadow was better at trapping the sunlight. But without the light there would be no dark. And without that dark there would be no light. Life is a seesaw, a constant balance between two forces. The thing we fear most about overtaking us often camps within us. We are the monster. We control the dark. We control the light. We hold the reigns to Reason, but sometimes the reigns have something on the other side pulling harder.

The Monster Called Reason By Ally Norris


In “The Monster Called Reason” I chose to incorporate similes, metaphors, personification and parallelism to strengthen the quality of my writing. “Creeps up your spine like a shiver” is the simile I used to provide recognition and understanding of what I mean by “Reason”. I included a metaphor “Life is a seesaw” as a way of comparing two things – seesaws and life – to issue a more dimensional piece. Harnessing parallelism creates suspension, making the piece seem more tantalizing and encouraging the reader to finish off “The Monster Called Reason”.


Change

by Ally Norris

The kiss of the leaves When they reach the snowless ground, And signify change

“Change” is inspired by the symbolism fall holds. This season epitomizes a change or something new and so does the poem. It pauses the season at the moment a leaf falls, striking a clichéd action known by all as a new beginning. I took what fall stands for and turned that into the theme of my piece; new beginnings, tired ends. The theme speaks to many occasions and can be applied to many people’s lives. That alone makes the poem relatable and desirable. The kireji is expressed through the coma at the end of the second line, starting a different but related point. “Leaves” is the kigo – its what creates a sense of fall and signifies the season.



Part D “The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls” – Edgar Allen Poe Acceptance. A word that up until now I had no idea was a value to me. Subconsciously, acceptance is a value. “Medicine” by Daughter and “Lament” by Edna St. Vincent Millay was the key to my discovery over this aspect. Both poems explore an acceptance topic, relating to me because I have learned to value this and it has helped me get through tough situations to get me where I am today. “Life must go on” (line 15, E.M) resonates with me because it reminds me that the small issues masquerading as large ones will pass and soon be forgotten. You know that metaphor of holding a rock in the sea - the thing keeping you from drowning?? For me, it’s less of one person and more of a group. The Norris, Bowers, Everett family members each holds a place in my heart, and when intertwined have the force to lift me from the weight of the world. “Truth”, “Three”, “Autumn” and “Pull Me Back To Sanity” are the poems depicting my families meaning to me. “Truth” being about my parents divorce, “Three” about my sisters, “Autumn” a metaphor for their contribution and “Pull Me Back To Sanity” highlighting what they do for me. Each poem is about a different dynamic within my family and each difference is what makes me Ally today. Everyone faces the struggle to find yourself and just when you think you do, you change again. In my anthology I explore this concept with four of my poems. “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley is about being the controller of your life, holding on to the pull-strings of who you are. As a teenager, the battle of who you are never sleeps, influenced by everyone around you. “At the age of 14, who I become in 10 years is reliant on who I choose to be now.” Shane Koyczan – the author of “Instructions for a bad day” – is easily the most inspiring piece I have ever heard - rich in guidance, advice, and hope that there is good in everyone. When I read this piece, something inside of me sank. It’s easy to think you have everything together in your life until someone points out where you can improve. Koyczan made me look at myself differently, and encouraged me to attempt at better things. My household is chaotic right now and this piece has helped me hold on to the greatness that life can be instead of focusing on the miserable. The last 2 poems I chose in include in my anthology follow the same “Being yourself/Change” topic.


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