YOUNG AT HEART
THE CHANGE GAME You’re getting married. Congratulations! If you are a woman in an opposite-sex relationship, and if it hasn’t happened already, one or more individuals will ask, “Are you planning to change your name?” When Roger and I were planning our wedding – 11 years ago – I recall being asked this question. I didn’t have a professional identity tied to my maiden name nor was I particularly attached to it, so I took Roger’s name. However, I must admit that while I was somewhat aware of the history of this custom, I gave little consideration to the patriarchal traditions associated with it. The practice of a woman taking her husband’s name at marriage dates back to 11th century Norman England and the law of coverture, under which a woman’s identity was erased upon marriage. A married woman could not own property, enter into contracts, and had no legal
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rights. While such laws seem absurd today, it wasn’t until the 1970s that a married woman in this country could get a driver’s license and/or passport or register to vote using her maiden name – in essence, forcing a woman to take her husband’s name. While there are no current laws that require a woman to change her name, the majority choose to do so. According to recent Google consumer surveys reported in the New York Times, around 70% of heterosexual women in the United States elect to take their husband’s name after marriage. Whereas, only around 3% of men take their wife’s name.
Weighing the Options There are reasons why a woman may want to change her name and reasons why she may not. For example, a woman may want to
change her name because: • The tradition is important to her. • She sees it as a symbol of commitment and/or a new beginning. • She wants to share a surname with possible future children. • She doesn’t like her maiden name. • She likes her future spouse’s name. And, she may want to keep her maiden name because: • She does not agree with the above-mentioned patriarchal traditions. • She sees it as an inherent part of her identify and/or is established professionally under her maiden name. • She likes her maiden name. • She changed her name after a previous marriage and doesn’t want to change it again. • She doesn’t feel connected to her future spouse’s surname and/or doesn’t care for it. And, also, have you considered, what aawmag.com
