Can we create the community mothers need and yearn for?

DO YOU REMEMBER THE DAYS WHEN WOMEN WOULD GET TOGETHER, WHILST THE CHILDREN PLAYED AND “CHORES” STILL GOT DONE?

Specifically, those early days with a newborn, where the support of another mother who gets it - especially one with older children - was so helpful to the mind, body and soul. I am one of the lucky ones that do remember this, as I grew up in a culture where my grandmother, my aunts and others in our village were an integral part of my upbringing. Sadly, when I became a mother, this was not my experience. I want to make it clear that it was no fault of anyone. It was a mixture of the system/society and the judgement that mothers can have for each other.

The Australian maternal care system tries hard to create this support through a mother’s group. I know this has been successful for some mums who years after their children have grown up, are still connected. However, I know for many, this is not the case. For me, it personally brought a lot of shame and inferiority with it as I never fitted into the group I was allocated.

I don’t hide the fact that I went through an awful bout of post-natal anxiety and received judgement and criticism from the group. Most days, I was trying to survive to then only feel judgement for not having a child who played a certain way or slept through the night, which added to my feelings of inadequacy. Sadly, the only criteria the maternal nurses need before they lump us with a bunch of other women is the fact that we all had a baby at similar times. However, this may create further isolation because other than the factor of being a new mum, there are no other common grounds for these mothers to connect. The pressures on mothers are endless - to be, feel and do things in certain ways and then judged by the expected milestones our children do or do not attain. Imagine a space where women are encouraged to tap into their innate wisdom, knowledge and power to pass to mothers in ways that are supportive and non-competitive. A societal structure that promoted the wonderful creative giving beings women are. If we can recognise this divinity in women, we truly can make the world a better place for all humans. I know this to be possible because I have arrived at this place with my second child.

Read the complete article in the Mumpreneur Movement Magazine: Stronger Together issue.

Marilou Coombe

Marilou runs orchestrate coaching & consulting. She is passionate about helping families and their children with positive mindset, self-regulation and expressing their emotions productively. A loving mum of two boys with an acute understanding of the challenges and growth opportunities of being a parent.

She works primarily with 4-16 year olds, parents and educators in the areas of strengthening neural pathways to promote wellbeing through gratitude practices, yoga, meditation and coaching.

She possesses extensive training and is certified in a number of modalities related to the social sciences, coaching and human behaviour dynamics more broadly.

She draws her extensive life experience, including travelling to over 36 countries and 67 cities, living in 5 different countries and speaking 2 languages fluently. Underneath it all, She aims at understanding human behaviour and what it is that motivates people to behave the way that they do.