GLOSSY �Y�S

Weeks have sped by, and your memory only pops up when I think of the things that never turned out the way I bet they could have. I once again found myself making you more beautiful in my mind than you deserved to be in the reality you made. Yet there was something about you that was so gorgeous, so intriguing and enticing and different that something fell somewhere along the communication lines between my brain and eyes that made you beautiful and my eyes Glossy. historically uncoincidentally never listened to him but you made his songs appealing venus in scorpio you seem driven and bright are… actually no one can deny you’re also gorgeous dark hair and eyes… reminds me of mine your humour and grammar … perfect like mine for you to be so perfect i am viciously determined to scout out your grand flaw yet i feel it doesn’t exist.

Stage 1: you’re so impressive i like that you read books & my writing most don’t but you do.

Stage 2: in a world close enough to hold 48 texts seem daunting unless they’re from you you’re interesting to me smart i wonder how your mind works what keeps you up at night why you work so hard where our safe haven would be so opposed to my usual run ignore ick I indulged 47 or 49 or whatever helped to get to know you better to know to imagine to touch the potential baking with you predicting psychological thrillers telling you all the best books i’ve read this year that you’ll read next dipping into your world until you grab my hand and pull me right under with you

Stage 3: stones thrown at this glass house stomach bugs bring me the stones glass fragments on them still roof walls fireplace small attacks make it cold you deflect but continue on all the things that amaze me you could never do that despite how you aren’t around an answer for it always surely you can’t think i’m dumb with all you’ve read & interest taken you ought to know i am not dumb trust given i hope not misplaced i know not …partially yet your grand flaw peaks through the precipice though i wish i don’t see it

Stage 4: cold water gets a blood stain out winter is coming large breaks in this glass house (that you haven’t returned to) your grand flaws came in boulders shatter crack snap

… of course they did the november wind loud and annoying …yet you’re much worse shatters cracks snaps drew blood from my cheek onto my cardigan the white one … so i sat crossed-legged on the floor. placed my cardigan in front of me. tried to blow out the candle… the wind beat me to it. did it for me. i breathed deeply and gently. closed my eyes. let myself cry. onto the cardigan. the stain. the candle. i asked for rain to wash away this stain. i asked for rain to wash this glass house away. i asked for rain to return your boulders. i asked for rain to wash me back to whoever I was before you came along. i asked for rain to wash me back to wherever i was before you came along with your questions and good grammar and dark eyes and intelligence and perfect venus sign. on a cold night in november. i haven’t cried since. i like looking at my new glasses and my new house too much. when i opened my eyes, the optometrist’s number was there, i just had to dial. i dialed. she checked and prescribed. i picked out black frames and saw shine and light again when she gave them to me. i look back on that glass house and realize none of those windows or walls or even the roof was my prescription. i was never stupid the way you likely thought. i just couldn’t see properly. gave my trust and kindness to you. trust and kindness you were never deserving of. maybe if i had my glasses then i never would have given you those. but i don’t have time to speculate like that. i have a date in an hour. like i said, i haven’t cried since. not even when i think of that time in that glass house. cold and miserable. because i got out and got better. i am okay. i know you’re just fine. and we are okay. though you never heard from me again. will never hear from me again. just some boulders that washed up on the end of your driveway.