Fourteen

This summer, I had the pleasure (no, seriously) of being the camp counsellor for two groups of girls, all around the age of 14. Throughout the summer, I watched as my kids learned leadership and teamwork, but I also noticed that as much as I taught them, they retaught me about what it is to be 14.

My kids reminded me about what it’s like to be figuring it all out. Today when we say we’re “figuring it out,” we mean balancing school and social life, budgeting, cooking, and so on. This, of course, is no easy task, but for these girls, figuring it out meant back to the basics. What do they like? Who do they like? What’s their inspiration? For them, figuring it out meant constant realizations, and constant changes in who they are or what they wanted. As older people, we try to resist change. We like to remain on the path we’ve created for ourselves and stick with what we already know. Witnessing them question themselves, I started to ask myself some big questions. What inspires me? What do I truly love? Who do I look up to?

My kids retaught me the glory of authenticity. They were unapologetic about themselves. They celebrated their passions for movies, or music, or books, or celebrities. What they loved was a part of them, and they wanted to share just that. I had forgotten what it was like to become obsessed with something, and how good it felt to love something completely.

Occasionally, my kids reminded me of the fear that comes with being 14. My kids were people with real problems— body-image issues, slut-shaming, and peer pressure. I couldn’t help but reflect on my early high school days, when the fear of being different was all-consuming, and authenticity could be used as a weapon against you. I offered advice and encouragement, but I could tell that these girls, and teenagers in general, were much smarter than anyone gave them credit for. They deserved to be listened to and considered. Their experiences gave them a view of the world that was unique and, most of the time, incredibly optimistic and hopeful. These were kids that were moving forward, putting the best of themselves into the world. They deserved love simply for being their authentic and beautiful selves..

14 is an age of change, but it is not the only age of change. We are all constantly transforming and sometimes this can be intimidating. Embracing the fear of the unknown, staying true to your passions, and asking yourself the big questions about who you are will keep you on the path towards the best version of yourself. Perhaps we’d all benefit from being 14 again … but maybe with better clothes.

By Trish Rooney | Photography by Lucy Welsh