My Child Magazine Issue 101 February 2020

MAGAZINE.COM.AU

ISSUE 101 - FEBUARY 2020

terrible toddlers

EDITOR IN CHIEF

Bianca Medina ART DIRECTOR

Bianca Medina DEPUTY EDITOR

Caroline Meyer CONTRIBUTORS

Sheree Hoddinett Amy Adeney Lance Green Derek Owens Hermes Rivera Jordan Whitt Christian Bowen Bruno Bueno Jonathan Borba Laura Garcia Katie E CONTACT

My Child Magazine North Parramatta NSW Sydney Australia +614 11 572 877 editorial@mychildmagazine.com.au

Contents 6

40

88

Toddler Discipline: What Works?

Common Birth Related Traumas

Toy Reviews

12

46

94

Tips To Survive The Toddler Years

Little Innoscents Natural Sun

Dad Read - Becoming A Father -

16

Lotion SPF30

Things I Wish I Knew

52

100

Difficult Topics For New Mums

Toxic Habits That Are Accepted As

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Normal

Why Are 2-Year-Olds So Difficult?

20 Talking About Difficult Topics

Get The Look Interiors

26

68

Positive Parenting For Toddlers

32

Real Read - Joanna Jensen

76

Book Reviews

Naughty Or Normal?

36

82

Choline: The Importance Of This Nutrient For Your Baby’s

Topics Parents Should Talk To Kids

Development During Pregnancy

About

148

104 Blogger - Parenting Reality Check

108 Fashion

118 Fashion Feature - Junior Blvd

134 Recipes

MY CHILD DIRECTORY

DISCLAIMER: It My Child Magazine and mychildmagazine.com.au are wholly owned by My Child Magazine (ABN 79 167 787 662). No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in the company or in My Child or mychildmagazine.com.au. My Child contains general information only and does not purport to be a substitute for health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. Reproduction of any material without written permission by the publisher is strictly forbidden. We cannot accept responsibility for material lost or damaged in the post or for any unsolicited manuscripts and photographs. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.

Bianca Medina editor-in-chief Editor’s Letter Hello Peeps.

Hope you’re all well and enjoying the new year! So much has been happening this past month, I’m still trying to catch up and it seems like I’m almost there and then the goal post change! Does anyone else feel like that?

Firstly, let’s start with the biggest change, my darling little baby girl has started school! I cant believe that she is almost 5 already and in kindergarten. I say it all the time, but time disappears when you have a child.

She has settled into school well and the dfeedback I received was she was a bit of a chatterbox! Well dah, she is my child, so honestly that didn’t shock me to much!

I was kind expected to fail when it comes to this school thing! Let me explain, see since Max was born, we have kept our own schedule and we sleep from 11pm to 10-11am and everyone was so concerned that we both wouldn’t adjust to the new school routine. If I was paid a dollar for every negitive comment thrown my way I be at least 100K better off. So anyhow the good news is we have ajusted to this school thing like the dedicated professionals we are! We’ve created a new routine and head to bed at 8pm and get up at 8am so we have been nailing this school routine right out of the gate! I have to say that I’m extremely proud of us both and especially my little angel!

Until Next Month

Bianca oxo

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Toddler Discipline: What Works? written by: caroline meyer

Discipline in the early years of your child’s life can be complicated and quite vexing. Trying to curb the temper tantrums especially in public or trying to explain to your toddler why they should or should not do something can end up as a contest of wills. Your baby is growing up and wants to be a little individual. They want to be independent, but they are not yet able to reason or communicate very well. They do not think rationally and their self-control is very limited. They also get frustrated quite easily leading to what can be a volatile combination.

This makes it challenging to parents to be able to instil boundaries and limits while still allowing their toddler some autonomy to develop on a personal level.

BE CONSISTENT The world seems chaotic and unpredictable to a small child and they cannot take the changes in their stride the way adults can. Establishing some routine and order allows the toddler to feel more safe and secure. This leads to calmer, better behaved children as they know what to expect. Sticking to a daily routine of meals, naptimes, bedtimes, playtime and so forth gives a child consistency, making them feel there is some predictability and tends to lead to less stress. Where the routine changes, it is important to try and prepare your toddler for the change before it happens. When it comes to limits and boundaries, you also need to be consistent. Both partners need to be on-board and the message needs to be consistent. If you threaten a punishment, after the 1st warning, carry out the discipline (make sure it is age appropriate, such as a time out) and explain why they are being disciplined. Consistently disciplining for the same things and carrying out the punishment each time will allow a child to understand there are consequences for their actions. Proper limits also give a child a sense of security as they learn what is or is not acceptable behaviour.

CUT DOWN ON STRESS Each child will have different triggers that cause outbursts.

These can include sleepiness, hunger, thirst and even a change of environment. This means that you have to adjust your schedule to avoid potential triggers. Don’t take your child shopping just before mealtimes or naptimes. Rather go afterwards and take along something to drink to avoid thirst. Try and limit your rushing around to the minimum and avoid changing the environment too many times in one trip if you know this is a trigger for your little one. You can also take snack with to avoid hunger tantrums.

Keep the excursions short. Plan ahead so you have ample time to 8

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avoid the stress of rushing to get somewhere at a specific time.

Talk out loud to your toddler of what is going to happen next.

This makes the transition easier for them as they understand a lot more than they are able to verbalise.

ADJUST TO THEIR PERSPECTIVE We take a lot for granted that may be difficult for a toddler to comprehend. Adjusting your perspective to that of your toddler can ward off many arguments and tantrums. Validate their feelings such as that of frustration while explaining why certain limits are in place or why specific behaviours are necessary. In this way you help them learn rules and regulations and to cope with frustration that is unavoidable. You can also offer choices to allow a toddler to feel more in control of the situation. Simple choices such as picking between 2 shirts to wear or which snack to take with for the care journey can go a long way to making the situation feel manageable for your child.

DISTRACT, DISTRACT, DISTRACT Toddlers have a much shorter attention span that adults and are much easier to distract. If your toddler is doing something annoying and is not responding to verbal commands to stop, you can try distracting them with a different task instead. If they have favourite things they enjoy doing, you can use these to divert their attention from the annoying activity to something more acceptable. You can also try an environment change to distract them such as going in to the garden instead of playing with a ball in the kitchen.

STAY CALM This can be quite a trying time as your toddler pushes boundaries daily and regular tantrums can be enough to push you over the FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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edge. Losing control will only result in an even more stressful situation and very little resolution will result. Calm down, count to ten if need be, don’t vent your own anger as it will only make things worse. Avoid becoming emotional and where possible, ignore behaviour such as tantrums or screaming fits. They will eventually tire of it when they see they are not going to get their way. Don’t let spates of bad behaviour drive you to physical punishment. We want to avoid teaching a child that violence is an acceptable way to handle things. They need to find ways to cope with frustration and you need to control your emotions and stick to your usual methods of ignoring the behaviour or acceptable discipline as per your house rules.

LET IT GO Does it really matter if they wear the red shirt instead of the blue shirt to pre-school? Some things are not negotiable such as eating, getting dressed, brushing teeth and car safety. Some things are a definite no-no, such as biting, hitting, kicking and hair-pulling or dangerous behaviour such as running in to the street. Some issues are not worth the arguments and tantrums though. Let them have their way when it does not matter such as wearing a towel as a cape to run around the house or wanting to play in the bath for a few more minutes. Pick your battles so you can focus on the important stuff and let it go when it comes to the small stuff.

Yes it is going to be tough, but that is part of the joy of being a parent. Watching a little person grow and develop into being their own person. Remember to praise them for good behaviour and reward for improving on things so that they are encouraged to display better behaviour. Allow them to flourish and grow and hopefully the toddler years will prepare you for the teenage years yet to come.

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FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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TIPS TO SURVIVE THE TODDLER YEARS Written By: Caroline Meyer

Between the age of 2 and 4 things can get quite rough for parents. Little ones are starting to assert their independence and will be little rebels after the comparative ease of control in the years prior. Here are a few tips to help you survive this phase of development.

Avoid the screams. Your screams, not theirs. Yelling at a child can cause real psychological harm and may do nothing to curb the behaviour. Positive parenting will help improve on bad behaviours without the need for severe discipline or for increased stress in the situation for both parent and child. Label their behaviour. They can learn what words such as kindness, patience, anger and disappointment mean. These words can then be used to label behaviour and discussions can ensue on whether or not the behaviours are good or bad.

Stay attuned so that you understand your child’s needs. You put yourself in your child’s place and try to see why they are behaving badly. Make sure you are consistent in how you deal with bad behaviour. Stay calm, don’t punish when angry and don’t give warning after warning. After a second warning, there should be a consistent follow through with consequences for actions. Often, when you look at things from their perspective, you can resolve the conflict before it escalates to a time-out.

Make sure you spend enough time with them. Give them your full attention. It does not have to be for long. Look them in the eye, have a conversation with questions and answers and actually listen to your child. When you find they are demanding your attention often, give them some attention, then go back to what you were doing. Those few minutes of complete attention will often be enough to buy you some time to have a life before they want your full attention again.

Hugs and snuggles are also important to little ones. Make sure you give plenty and tell them you love them. Especially after a time-out, this is crucial, so they know they are loved and it is the behaviour you don’t like, not them.

Distract them with something creative or physical. Children can act out due to many reasons. When you see potential for a negative behaviour such as the child starting to yell at a sibling, before it escalates to violence, distract them. Let them blow off steam playing outside or let them do a quiet activity such as colouring in. If you stay aware of triggers, you can often fend off bad behaviour before it escalates.

Notice the patterns. Most children will repeat bad behaviours. Do they scream in the car every day? Do they fight over breakfast?

Most children will do the same thing again and again even if given a time-out. They use these behaviours to try and assert control. You need to give some control such as choices they can make that won’t be disruptive and this may help you as a parent gain back control.

If they fight to get dressed every day, lay out 2 choices and let them choose the one they want to wear. If they refuse to eat whatever you serve for breakfast, let them choose between 2 types of food. This causes less hassle in the long run and everyone is happier.

Make sure the house rules are clear. For little ones, the rules should be simple and easy to understand. Don’t hurt other people, no yelling, listen to mum and dad, be kind to the cat etc. Go over the rules often and give them praise when they are able to follow the rules successfully every day. It is hard for a small child to be obedient and we have to teach them that it is a good thing. Reinforcement 14

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“Loving, consistent parenting with lots of hugs and attention will help you to get through the terrible twos”

and praise when they do as they are told to instil the idea that being obedient is good. This can start from very young with simple things like getting them to clap hands when you say the words.

Make sure you praise them if they try hard even though there will be times they lapse. Don’t go overboard though as this can have the opposite effect of what you are trying to achieve.

Be consistent in how you address behaviours. You cannot allow a behaviour on one day and punish for it on the next. Both parents have to buy in on how their child is raised and what rules and regulations apply so that they don’t play you off against each other to get their own way. Explain the rules and regulations and the method of behaviour correction to other people that they will be spending time with. This means that the rules stay consistent at grandparents and friends as well. If the child is at a pre-school during the day, find out what reward systems are in place there and bring it into your home as well so that the rewards stay the same for the child’s behaviour as well.

Loving, consistent parenting with lots of hugs and attention will help you to get through the terrible twos (and threes) to a potentially calmer, well behaved 4 year old. Remember to stay calm and take a time out for yourself sometimes as a reward (not a punishment).

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WHY ARE 2-YEAROLDS SO DIFFICULT? written by: CAROLINE MEYER

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This development stage is a period of adjustment for both parents and toddlers. There is a rapid shift from the complacent baby to the rebellious little one with a mind of their own. There are rapid mood swings and plenty of inappropriate behaviour. Your little one can go from a loving little angel one minute to a screaming, kicking banshee the next. Little ones are driven to assert themselves as individuals during this phase. They want to let you know what they like and dislike and they want to do things for themselves which may not be practical. They are also not able to articulate everything very well which leads to frustration and the inevitable screaming. They are still developing all the skills needed to express their wants and needs.

They have limited self-control and battle with the concept of patience and having to wait for something. Parents can become very frustrated and find themselves arguing a point with a two-year-old. This is not a position you would want to be in.

While this is challenging, it is quite normal. Between the ages of 2 and 4 little ones undergo major emotional, social, intellectual and motor skills development. They are able to understand a lot but may not be able to express themselves in words as well. This can lead to emotional behaviour and frustration. This can be quite difficult for parents to interpret.

DEALING WITH EMOTIONS Little ones start experiencing strong emotions that are beyond the scope they previously understood. There are more than just happy, sad, angry emotions but also lot more complex feelings such as embarrassment, guilt, shame, pride and so forth which are being experienced for the first time. They may also have mood swings that flip from one extreme to the next. You will have to remain calm and help your child recognize and cope with the emotions they are dealing with. They can display the inability to deal with their emotions by: • • • 18

getting angry and acting out such as throwing things saying no when they actually mean yes having a tantrum when you don’t understand what they are saying

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• refusing to accept a substitute for what they want • simply give up when they get frustrated

When they are able to manage their emotions, they will demonstrate this by using actions or words to get attention or ask for help. They may also talk to themselves in a way that reassures when they are frightened or frustrated. They will use words to state how they feel without resorting to violence or acting out. You might also find them re-enacting an event that was stressful for them in order to make sense of everything. They may also parrot back rules and regulations they have been taught. Guilt at breaking rules may also be demonstrated by children learning to cope with complex emotions.

Toddlers are still reliant on you as a parent, while wanting to be independent. They want to be independent and being constricted by rules can be difficult to deal with. Expect some acting out and even tantrums as they learn some self-control.

SELF-CONTROL Out of control behaviour usually means that your little one has not been able to figure out how to express the way they are feeling in an acceptable manner. They know what they want and how they feel but don’t know how to let you know in an appropriate way. As a parent, you need to be constructive in how you deal with these emotional outbursts. This will improve as your child learns language skills and can tell you in words and as they learn a little more self-control.

Life experience such as learning to follow rules and dealing with disappointment helps them develop and grow during this phase. Help them redirect their emotions and above all, stay calm. Take them out of the situation, allow them to calm down, discuss the feelings as best you can before allowing the child back into the previously volatile situation. Try and avoid changing environment when your child is tired or hungry as this can lead to them displaying inappropriate behaviour as well. Praise them when they behave or overcome the intense emotions. This is a tough time for your toddler, as well as for you. Give them plenty of love and guidance and know that this phase will eventually pass.

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Talking About Difficult Topics

WRITEN BY: CAROLINE MEYER

Children are exposed to a lot more horrific subjects due to media and internet access. This can leave them afraid, confused and traumatized. As parents, we have to be able to talk to them about the harshest of topics in ways they can understand. Parents have to be able to answer questions to allay fears and help little ones make sense of it all.

Topics such as their bike getting stolen or a favourite toy being chewed up by the dog can be difficult enough to put into perspective for a child. Major issues such as drugs, racism, violence, natural disasters and death can seem like impossible topics to broach. That being said, it is important for parents to deal with these tough realities and teach your child about the world. This strengthens your bond with your child and can help them feel more secure. Encourage them to ask questions and look deeper into topics. This will help them think critically and not believe all the sensationalism and hype that is common today. We may not be able to resolve many of the problems in the world today but we can help our kids build strong characters. We can teach them to empathise and show compassion. Knowledge also gives them power in a world that is full of deceit.

When your child is exposed to something that is unsettling or scary, encourage them to come to you to talk about it.

It may be quite uncomfortable for you as well, but base answers on what they can absorb at the age they are at and ensure they can understand the replies to their questions. Children absorb information differently at different stages of development. Looking at how they perceive the world at a certain way allows you to give them information in ways they can understand. You obviously also need to take your child’s personality into account.

For this you will need to use your own judgement about how in-depth you want to go and how much you want to share on the topic.

From around the age of 2 up to the age of 6 little ones don’t have much life experience and will have difficulty in understanding some of the concepts when it comes to talking about difficult topics. They also don’t understand cause and effect very well at this point. Their point of view is centred on themselves and those that are closest 22

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to them. It is best to avoid as much media exposure as possible, but this is not always possible. There may also be harsh realities such as the loss of a pet or a grandparent as an example and explaining why they can’t see them anymore can be tough to explain. If you are grieving, they may also not understand and think they did something to upset you. For children at this point of development, they need reassurance both with gestures and words. Hug them and assure them they are safe and loved. Tell them that it is okay to feel scared, confused or sad. Tell them about your feelings too, and assure them they are not the cause. You can also ask them what they think about what has happened to see how much they understand before you further with the discussion. Keep explanations simple and easy to understand.

Avoid using words that show bias such as “fat man”, “homeless person”, “black woman” and so forth. Ethnicity, sexuality, financial status, body size or looks should not be brought into the discussion unless it is directly relevant such as with a hate crime.

Find out what they know. Your kids might not understand the issue very well. Ask them what they think happened before giving them any imagery. Use language and ideas that are familiar and easy to understand. For example, a robbery can be related back to when someone stole the child’s jacket at school, so they can empathise on a basic level. Use terms such as “happy”, “sad”, “afraid”, “mad” and similar terms relating to feelings so they can understand the emotions. Be as literal as possible and avoid using metaphors or idiomatic expressions such as “he went nuts”, as they are not likely to understand what this means. Let them know that the situation is under control and that there is someone dealing with it. This will help them feel safer.

It is never easy to discuss harsh topics with little ones and where possible it is better to leave these until they are older and can understand a bit better. Where they have been exposed to traumatic or disturbing situations, it is important to help them feel safe and secure and limit the trauma. If necessary, seek professional help to assist a child in dealing with a traumatic event.

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POSITIVE PARENTING FOR TODDLERS WRITTEN BY: CAROLINE MEYER

That day arrives when you realise that your baby has become a little person with a mind of their own. They are walking (perhaps not all that well, but up on two legs most of the time), they are talking (well they can say no and a few other less annoying words) and they seem to have become little rebels without a cause overnight. Things just got a whole lot more complicated. Up to this point, we were focusing on feeding, cleaning and putting them to bed. Now we have to help them develop emotionally, socially as well as physically.

This is the start of some major parenting challenges. How you get through this phase will determine how they handle their emotions and learn to accept the appropriate behaviours dictated by polite society.

Children have to be taught methods of dealing with their emotions in a healthy way. This includes being able to voice how they feel and having their feelings validated. Little ones will also react better during this phase if they feel like they have some control. Listen to your child and allow them the option to make decisions whenever it is practical. Allow them to experience what competence feels like. Praise them for exhibiting appropriate behaviour. Let them do things for themselves. Be patient and be available if they need assistance, but when it is possible, let them try. Don’t interfere unless it becomes necessary. Offer encouragement and praise for trying. Let them take on challenges to build their confidence. You can always be there for support and assistance if they need it, but let them start being independent in an age appropriate way. Each success boosts their confidence and sets them up for success with the next obstacle that comes along.

Don’t treat learning as a series of tests. Instead of asking them to identify things off cards or in a book, where there is a chance of failure, instead teach them by pointing things out in everyday life or simply reading them the book. Let them discover things on their own and answer the many, many questions that will come. This is how they learn. Join in when they get excited about their achievements but don’t make a performance of it so that they feel evaluated.

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Comment on what they did successfully. Be excited with them when they discover something or achieve something on their own. Give encouragement when they attempt things and praise the effort put into it, not the results. There is no need to evaluate what they have done or make them feel that they need someone to validate what they do for it to be worthwhile. Encourage them to keep practising and trying without harping back on something they have previously achieved or not achieved. Yes, toddlers will make mistakes, plenty mistakes. Encourage them not to give up and to try again. Teach them how to fix mistakes or clean up after one, but never to stop trying just because something didn’t turn out right the first time.

Teach little ones to stay calm and work through challenges by encouraging themselves. This will help them self-motivate and enable them to try again and again without getting frustrated or giving up. Help them makes their internal talk positive. Set a good example by avoiding negative language when you talk to your child but also when you talk about yourself. Instead of calling yourself stupid or otherwise berating yourself for something, turn it in to a positive experience that your child can emulate. Talking positively to yourself will help your child do the same.

Teach your child to handle frustration. Some frustration is necessary and a challenge to be overcome. Too much frustration becomes a cycle of failure and quitting. As they get older kids learn to handle more and more frustration and can attempt ever more difficult challenges. Don’t set your child up for failure by creating excessively frustrating tasks and if you see they are becoming frustrated, suggest they try again later instead of forcing them to continue trying.

Continually pushing them into negative situations such as this will make them feel less secure and very unhappy. You can also offer to step in and help. You don’t have to do it for them, but you can help make the challenge a little easier this time around. Let them know that you understand how they feel and offer them your support.

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Let them make a difference in their own world. Small things such as turning on the lights or turning off the cold tap can have a big impact on them. They will learn there are things they cannot influence, but that most of the times, their parents can’t either. They will learn that there are limits to their power but allow them the chance to feel capable by doing things that do change the world around them.

Encourage your child to be responsible. They must learn to clean up their messes. You can help at the start, but as they get older, they can do more and more for themselves. Don’t yell or complain about the level of cleanliness to start with instead encourage and praise while showing them the better way to do it. This will most likely be something you have to encourage until your child one day flies the nest in differing degrees. Start early and it will make it a little simpler for you in the long run while teaching your children responsibility.

Let them help. When they are toddlers they can’t do chores on their own, but you can encourage them to help you when you are doing things in the home. Let them push the vacuum cleaner or help you fold shirts. Let them help you make the bed. They most likely won’t be very effective to start with but they will enjoy contributing. Praise for a job well done (or for trying hard). Eventually they will be able to do their chores on their own. Letting them help will require a lot of patience from you as the job will most likely take a lot longer, but it is worth it for the lessons learned. This is also a good bonding experience.

Structure and routine is crucial for small children. This will help them develop good habits such as grooming and hygiene and mastering basic life skills. Knowing what comes next allows for a feeling of security and removes a lot of potential frustration. Treat your child with love and respect and you can’t go wrong. Get them to show the same kind of love and respect for others and your toddler will grow into a fine human being.

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e

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by: Amy Adeney from Busy Bookworms

BOOK

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IZZY & FRANK

BY KATRINA LEHMAN & SOPHIE BEER

Izzy loves her island, and m ost of all, she loves Frank t he se agul l .

But when Izzy has to l e av e he r lighthouse home and i sl and l i f e behind to move to the ci t y , she al so has to say goodbye to F r ank . T he city is crowded and noi sy , and I z z y misses the sand and t he se a. C an Izzy find a place f or her se l f i n he r new home? And will she e v e r se e Frank again?

From t h e a u t h or/illu st ra to r tea m wh o c rea t ed t h e b ea u t ifu l p i c tu r e b o o k Wren c omes t h is v isu a l l y s tu n n i n g t a le of a d v en t u re, frien d s h i p a n d c omin g t o t erms wit h c h a n g e. Per f ec t for rea d ers a ged 3 a n d u p .

BR O N TE : ME & MY B O OT S

BY PENNY HARRISON & EVIE BARROW

Thi s i s t h e fir s t p ic t u r e b o o k i n a ne w s e r i e s st a r in g Br o n t e, a funlo v i n g c h a r a c t er wh o in ad ver t ently cha l l e n g e s g en d er s t er eo t ypes t ho u g h h e r ever yd a y ad ven t ures.

I n Me a n d M y Bo o t s , Br o n t e r ejects t he l a b e l ‘bo s s y b o o t s ’ , a n d in int r od u c i n g u s t o h er fam ily and f r ien d s , o f f er s u p alt er n at ive ways t o d e s c r i b e a s s er t ive g ir ls like he r s e l f .

Yo u n g r e a d e r s age d three and up will id e n ti f y w i th B ronte ’ s feis ty s pirit , a nd t h i s i s a great book to open u p disc u s s i o n a bout how e ach of us c a n be ma n y d i f f ere nt things at once.

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C O M I N G H O M E TO COUNTRY

BY BRONWYN BANCROFT

Bronwyn Bancrof t is a p r oud Bundjalung Woman a nd ar t i st who has illustrated and/ or wr i t t e n over 4 0 children’s books i nc l ud i ng Clever Crow and Big Rain C om i ng. I n Coming Home to Country , B anc r of t uses a stunning colour p al e t t e of “leaf green, red rust, ye l l ow oc hr e , deep blue and crimson” t o t ak e t he reader on a journey thr ough our ever- changing landscape .

Th e resu lt is v isu a lly str i k i n g , a n d en c ou ra ges rea d ers a ge d f o u r a n d u p t o see t h eir su rrou n d i n g s th r o u g h n ew ey es. A b ea u t ifu lly t o l d s to r y o f c on n ec t ion wit h n a t u re a nd C o u n tr y .

ROO KNOWS BLUE

BY RENÉE TREML

W ho k n ow s b lu e? R o o kn o ws b lue!

B ut d oe s R o o kn o w o t h er c o lours t o o ? T h i s i s a jo yo u s c eleb r ation o f c o l ou r i n t h e Au s t r a lia n b ush f ro m R e n e e T r em l, t h e b es t s ell ing a ut h o r -i l l u s t r a t o r o f t it les s u c h as S le ep T i g h t, P lat yp u p a n d S h er lock B o n e s a n d t h e Nat u r a l H is tory Mys t e r y .

The i n t e r a ctive rhyming t ext e n c ou r a g e s readers to s ing alon g wit h ch a r a ct e rs Roo and Pos s um a s t he y l e a r n t heir colours . Children ag e d o n e a n d up w ill e ngage w ith t h e se n s e o f h u mour and playfulness, whic h a r e co m plemented by Tre ml’s ado r a b l e i l l u strations .

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Choline: The Importance Of This Nutrient For Your Baby’s Development During Pregnancy Written by Sharon Natoli - Dietitian and Founding Director of Food & Nutrition Australia

Pregnancy is an exciting time in any expectant parent’s life, with many mums-to-be keen to ensure that their diet is meeting the nutritional needs of their growing baby and setting their child up for good health in later life. This can be tricky, especially when trying to avoid foods like processed meat, high mercury or raw fish and soft cheeses.

Advice on eating well during pregnancy is constantly evolving, with dietitians frequently discovering new associations between vitamins and minerals and their role in health and disease prevention. The essential nutrient choline is the latest topic of discussion as it has flown under the radar until now. However, research highlights its important role in contributing to brain and spinal cord development of unborn babies during pregnancy.

Found naturally in several food groups, choline could be as important as folate during pregnancy. As this nutrient is not usually included in common prenatal vitamins, it is important that pregnant Australian women are mindful of consuming foods that naturally contain choline.

In fact, less than 1% of Australian pregnant and breastfeeding women eat enough choline.

Boosting your choline levels is surprisingly easy to do, with most women already consuming foods containing choline such as eggs, fish, meats and dairy to name a few. These foods can be easily incorporated into a balanced diet focusing on natural whole foods and lots of fruit and vegetables.

WHY IS CHOLINE IMPORTANT FOR ME DURING PREGNANCY? Eating foods containing choline during pregnancy is extremely beneficial, as choline aids in development of the spine and reduces the risk of neural tube defects.

Research has also shown that eating high amounts of choline during pregnancy can help to regulate production of cortisol in unborn 38

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babies. This may reduce the likelihood of stress-related conditions for your child later in life, such as hypertension, obesity, diabetes and depression.

Eating choline rich foods during pregnancy may also be important for the brain development of babies, with research finding that it helps with brain function, including the speed of information processing, learning, memory and attention.

HOW CAN I BOOST MY CHOLINE LEVELS? Choline is found in foods such as eggs, fish, dairy such as milk or yoghurt, poultry and red meat, wholegrains and some green vegetables.

Eggs are one of the best sources of choline, containing almost twice as much as other frequently eaten foods containing choline. Provided they are cooked well, eggs can be safely eaten during pregnancy.

However, pregnant women should avoid raw and undercooked eggs (including from homemade mayonnaise and aioli) due to the risk of illnesses such as listeria.

With nearly all choline in the body coming directly from food, it’s a good idea to include choline-rich food in your diet daily.

For breakfast this might look like scrambled eggs, muesli with fruit and yoghurt, or cheese, tomato and avocado on wholegrain toast.

Choline rich lunch ideas include a vegetable frittata, wild rice, dukkah egg and pomegranate salad or lentil stew.

For dinner try snapper and grilled vegetables, chicken and sundried tomato pasta or marinated beef skewers and salad.

Boosting the amount of choline you consume through healthy whole foods is a great way to assist in the development of a healthy baby, and is easy to incorporate into a balanced diet.

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Common Birth Related Traumas written by: CAROLINE MEYER

The birth of a child is a joyous thing, but it can also be a little frightening. It is helpful to know that birth injuries are not very common and most are not serious. Some of the most common neonatal injuries affect the neck, head and shoulders of the baby, although any part of the body can be injured. The upper body is most likely to be injured due to babies generally presenting head first. Here is a list of some birth injuries that can occur: Cephalohematoma is when there is a build-up of blood under the protective membrane covering the baby’s skull. It usually only shows up a few hours after delivery and usually presents as lumps on the head. They feel soft and may get larger. These injuries are usually self-healing and don’t need medical intervention. Within a month or two, baby’s body will reabsorb the blood and the lumps will disappear. In severe cases, this injury can result in jaundice due to the breakdown of excessive amounts of red blood cells.

Caput Succedaneum is a swelling of the scalp that usually happens during or just after birth. It is caused from pressure of the vaginal wall or uterus during delivery or through vacuum extraction devices. This scalp bruising is usually only seen from protracted labour especially if the amniotic sac breaks early and there is no protection for baby when it passes through the birth canal.

Broken bones and bruising can occur from physical stress on the face or body during birth. They can also be caused through forceps delivery which can leave lacerations and bruising on the baby. Bones can also be broken due to an excessively forceful assisted birth. In rare occasions injuries can be due to a baby being dropped.

Subconjunctival Haemorrhage shows as a bright red band around the iris and is caused from tiny blood vessels in the eye breaking, usually due to pressure. They do not cause permanent damage and should heal within a few days after 42

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birth.

Brachial Plexus Injury is damage to the nerves that connect the arms and legs to the spinal cord. This results in Brachial palsy where the injury limb cannot be rotated or flexed by the baby. This usually only occurs in difficult births where the doctor has had to tug on a limb to get the baby out.

If the nerves are stretched or bruised, this can heal within a month or two and may require some physical therapy.

Serious injury to these nerves can result in permanent nerve damage.

Bell’s Palsy is a facial paralysis due to damage to the facial nerve during birth or through forceps delivery. The facial muscles on the injured side of the face do not move, which is noticeable during crying or sleeping (one eye remains open). Minor damage to the nerve such as bruising will heal without treatment. Severe injuries may require surgery.

Oxygen Deprivation (Anoxia) can lead to a number of problems for the newborn baby. Anoxia can occur when the umbilical wraps around the babies throat or if the placenta separates prematurely resulting in a reduced flow of oxygen to the brain. This can lead to cerebral palsy which is a neuromuscular condition affecting posture, movement and muscle tone. If baby does not breathe independently after birth for 3 or more minutes, this can also result in brain damage. This can result in seizures, coma and death if baby isn’t transferred to life support in time. Oxygen deprivation can also result in blindness, hearing impairment, learning disabilities and other complications.

Fractures are the most common birth injuries and most often affects the collarbone which is usually caused during a breech delivery or shoulder dystocia. There will be some pain and baby will not be able to move the arm on the affected side very well. This is usually treated with a soft bandage or splint to prevent movement until the injury heals.

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Most birth injuries are minor and very little medical intervention is needed.

Babies will heal on their own within a short period of time and have very few or no complications as a result of the trauma. It is only in severe cases that there is long lasting injury or long term complications. In these instances, medical intervention may be required on an ongoing basis.

Most birth trauma can be avoided by using proactive methods such as ultrasounds to check position of the baby prior to labour and birth. If you have any concerns, talk to your healthcare provider. Good health and regular pre-natal care will go a long way to mitigate the risk of trauma during labour and birth.

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Natural Sun Lotion SPF30

Slip Slop Slap! That was the mantra in my day growing up! Knowing this was the best way to protect my skin from a young age has really set me up for life to always look after my skin in the sun regardless of summer or winter sun exposure!

I’ve always loved being out and about, getting a bit of sun and grabbing some fresh air has been a part of my lifestyle for as long as I can remember. It has always been something that my hubby and I have enjoyed!

When we welcomed our daughter to our new little family, this part of our lifestyle did not change, it did get a little bit more tricky with the pram, the baby bag and everything in-between that we would take and not need on every outing, but that’s another story for another day!

Now little babies under 6 months of age shouldn’t really be exposed to the sun at all. They should be covered in light clothing with a good sun hat and be in shaded areas at all times, this however, can often be one of those “easier said than done” moments!

There is no need to stress yourself out or too stop your life or the things you enjoy when you have a child, you just have to care for your child’s skin too! Hubby and I decided to add an extra step of sun precaution into our daughters daily skin care routine as an effective way to ensure that we are doing everything we could to reduce our daughters risk to sun exposure, and this has paid off, with time and age, she has of course been taught that sun lotion is an import part of her daily skin care routine - woo hoo it’s a Parenting Win!!!!

So, When it comes to sun protection for your child skin, choosing a sunscreen that protects and blocks

both the UVA and UVB rays that damage skin is a must.

Why? Because UVA causes aging and UVB causes burning, however they both contribute to skin cancer.

You’ll also want to choose a product that is good for sensitive skin.

We were recently given the opportunity to review the Little Innoscents Natural Sun Lotion and there is so much to love about this product. Here what we loved most: • It offers UVA and UVB protection • It’s SPF 30 • It’s natural - this mineral based sun lotion contains no nano particles, chemicals or preservatives. Its active ingredient is zinc oxide and it also includes a soothing vitamin E, cucumber and rose hip extract with organic green tea!

• t’s 3 hours water resistance • The formula that Little Innoscents has developed for this sun lotion make its it easy to apply to dry skin and it doesn’t leave you feeling sticky or greasy.

• It smells good and is suitable for the whole family so there is no need to buy any other sunscreen.

• It’s Australian Made and meets TGA safety standards • The Little Innoscents Natural Sun Lotion is suitable for babies 6 month plus, children, adults and for anyone with sensitive skin making it the ideal choice. You simple apply it 20 mins before you go out for maximum protection and re-apply every 1-3 hrs.

We had 2 mums review the Little Innoscents Natural Sun Lotion and here’s what they had to say:

“I’m loving the new packaging Little Innoscents has created.

The bright peach colour and wooden style lid make this sunscreen look beautiful and gives it a luxurious feel (and it’s not hidden in the cupboard like the many other products I have for the kids!). The product feels super rich and I really like the way it absorbs into the skin without leaving that greasy or gooey feeling that many sunscreens have. I used this when going to the beach over the school holiday’s and was impressed with the how long it lasted.

The best part, we only needed one sunscreen for the whole family. As directed, I applied the sun lotion every 2 hours and there I’m happy to report, there was no sunburn. I would definitely recommend this as a family sunscreen especially for those that don’t want the icky feeling you get with most sunscreens.”

- Nat “When My Child Magazine approached me to review the Little Innoscents Natural Sun Lotion, I was a little hesitant.

My daughter has super sensitive skin and suffers from eczema, so I am sceptical with any skin products as they usually result in a breakout of some sort. Because of my scepticism, I decided to test the Sun Lotion on a short walk to the park which is at the end of our street, that way when my daughter skin couldn’t cope any longer and had gone red and blotchy and was making her eczema super itchy, I would be in easy walking distance to get her home to shower her and wash it all off. What I wasn’t expecting was to be out for nearly 90 mins without a complaint! As a parent of a child with a skin condition this was amazing, I don’t think I have experienced that with her since she was a toddler. Thanks Little Innoscents for creating a product that not only protects my daughter skin, but is gentle enough to not cause her any irritations” - Michelle

When choosing a sunscreen, choose Little Innoscents Natural Sun Lotion SPF30 to keep your child skin safe and healthy!

For more information visit: littleinnoscents.com.au

Difficult Topics For New Mums Written By: Caroline Meyer

Motherhood brings with it a lot of joy but also curiosity. Sometimes the curiosity may be inappropriate and prying and can put new mums in the middle of awkward conversations. Here are a few of the questions that are asked which mum’s may need to sidestep if they feel uncomfortable. Remember, you have the right to privacy and your choices are valid, whatever they may be.

QUESTIONS ON FERTILITY AND CONCEPTION People may not pry into your sex life but they may ask questions such as whether or not the baby was planned. They may ask how long it took to fall pregnant and if you used fertility treatments. These questions are very personal and if you feel uncomfortable answering them, you don’t have to do so. This can be a traumatic topic for some mums as well especially if the conception took a lot of time or they have to undergo IV treatment etc.

THE BOTTLE VERSUS BREAST DEBATE This is an ongoing topic where people feel they have the right to jump in with advice and suggestions. This is also a personal choice for new mums and there may be a lot of background and anxiousness when it comes to this topic. Research has shown that breastfeeding has a number of health benefits, but this choice is not always an option for some new mums. Formula is a tried and tested option and a valid alternative. Another topic that comes up is how long a mum should breastfeed for. Again, this is a personal choice. You may decide to breastfeed for two years or never breastfeed at all. Mums get to decide and advice is not always welcome from others on this topic.

THE NAPPY SAGA There are pros and cons to using cloth or disposable nappies. Cloth nappies are better environmentally speaking and cheaper to use but they need a lot of extra time to clean, wash and keep hygienic and available. Disposable nappies are a lot more convenient, especially for busy mums that hold down a job as well as take care of a little one. Some mums prefer to use both, cloth at home and disposables for when they are out the home. It doesn’t matter what someone else has to say on the subject, mums get to decide the best option for them and their little ones.

GIRL OR BOY? New mums will have many people assume the sex of the baby without 54

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asking. If you are asked the gender directly, this makes things a little easier. You can introduce your child by name, although gender neutral names can still lead to the same confusion. Mistaking your child’s gender is a very common mistake. Try not to get upset and correct the person on the gender, or not if it is a casual acquaintance or random stranger if you prefer not to discuss it further.

CIRCUMCISION YAY OR NAY? This is another highly personal decision that new mums need only discuss with their partners and no one else unless they want to.

There is plenty research on the side of future benefits but not enough evidence to conclusively prove which is better one way or another. For many new parents this decision may be based on religion or whether or not dad is circumcised. At the end of the day, new parents do not need to get involved in a discussion on whether or not to circumcise their child with anyone except their paediatrician.

THE CHOICE OF NAMES Unless you ask someone for input on this topic, your choice of baby’s name is not a topic for debate. Most parents think long and hard on the perfect name to name their baby. While other people may not like the name, may think it is too trendy or old-fashioned or whatever reason they believe it unsuitable, it is not their decision.

Unless someone is offering positive feedback, you don’t have to buy in to advice or comments on the choice of a name for your child.

STAYING AT HOME OR GOING BACK TO WORK This can be a very emotionally charged topic. Everyone’s challenges are different and new mums should be supported in their choices.

For most mums, their situation may demand they return to work even though they would prefer to stay home. Not having a choice can be quite traumatic as well. Mums do not have to justify their choice and this is again, a very personal decision. New mums can lay out the pros and cons and make decisions based on their personal circumstances. No debate needed.

ADVICE ON BABY’S DEVELOPMENT A lot of mums will get input from others on their baby’s development and size. This can cause new mums to become overly concerned and stressed. Unless it is the doctor telling you that you need to be concerned about the rate of your child’s growth and development, FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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you can brush off the questions from others. Some babies will be faster or slower than others and no amount of negative input will change this. New mums can be given advice on topics such as the best baby bum cream to use, but certainly not on how fast or slow a baby is with sitting, crawling, walking etc.

CRYING Many people will try to guess at why a baby is crying. As a new mum, you will get to learn your baby’s cries or know from routine what the problem is. If your baby cries and it is not based on the usual reasons such as hunger, tiredness, dirty nappy, requiring comfort etc., then have your baby checked by your paediatrician to ensure it is not due to illness or pain. At the end of the day, you will be the one that knows your baby best.

HOW TO PARENT There are almost as many parenting styles as there are parents. There is plenty research on the internet on a wide variety of styles and their impact on babies and children over the years. How parents decide to parent is ultimately up to them. Despite all the research, parenting is not an exact science and no one can tell new parents how best to raise their children.

BODY COMMENTS ARE UNACCEPTABLE During pregnancy, after pregnancy and really at any time, commenting on a woman’s body in a negative way is unacceptable. Comments on how much weight you put on, how much you lost or didn’t lose, how tired you look or really any comments that have negative connotations are a big no-no. Unless someone is commenting on how great your new haircut looks, they should refrain from voicing comments which may impact negatively when it comes to you or your body. Feel free to let them know that they are out of line.

As a new mum, you may also want to share your birth experience with others, especially if you have a wonderful pregnancy and birth.

Unless someone asks, this can be an insensitive topic to bring up around other new mums as some may have had very traumatic experiences. As new parents, you should feel empowered to make the decisions on what is best for you and your little one. Know that it is okay to ask people to butt-out on private topics or to ask for advice on those same topics if you need it.

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Joanna Jensen understands, first-hand, the stress of wanting to relieve her child’s pain.

When her first daughter, Mimi, was born in 2006, Joanna’s life-long passion for natural ingredients was explored in the same way many new parents investigate ways to protect their children’s precious skin. But it was when her second daughter, Bella, suffered from extremely sensitive skin that demanded effective healing and relief, that Joanna’s interest in using mild, gentle and moisturising skincare transitioned into an urgent need – and then a business idea.

‘Bella came along in 2008, and she had appallingly sensitive skin.

It was red raw much of the time and she had terrible eczema,’ Joanna says. ‘It was heart-breaking and incredibly frustrating because most skincare products on the market irritated it even further.’

At the start – determined to find relief for her daughter’s irritated skin - Joanna experimented with mixing different ingredients from the humble surrounds of her ‘freezing cold barn’, drawing on expertise she learned while making shampoos for her horses.

It was a natural evolution. Natural and homeopathic medicines had always formed part of Joanna’s life, since childhood, when she made rose and lavender-scented water for her family, and ‘treatments’ from flowers & hedgerow plants.

There was a process of trial and error and, when she eventually settled on the combination of natural ingredients that proved helpful in healing her young daughter’s eczema, Joanna worked with a manufacturer to create the formulas for her first six products.

‘The change in Bella’s skin was incredible and the feedback I received from other friends who trialled the products was fantastic,’ she says.

The Childs Farm brand, named after the farm where she lived, was born, with a range of products that contained naturallyderived ingredients that would suit every child — even those with sensitive skin and eczema-prone skin.

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“3 in 10 little ones in Australia suffer from atopic eczema and world-wide statistics indicate that sensitive skin conditions amongst the young are on the rise.”

Watching Bella suffer with sore skin, Joanna was passionate about helping other parents of children with painful skin allergies and irritations. By 2011, armed with 1,000 bottles of the bubble bath, hair & body wash, shampoo and conditioner she had formulated, Joanna was selling online to individual customers and small retailers.

She’s come a long way.

Today, as founder & CEO of Childs Farm Ltd, Joanna Jensen is proud to oversee a company that sells more than $40 million worth of products a year. The sales figures are so impressive, in fact, that Childs Farm is the now the largest baby & child toiletries brand in the UK by sales volumes and is expanding globally to revolutionise baby and child’s skin and haircare with quality, specially formulated products.

3 in 10 little ones in Australia suffer from atopic eczema - and world-wide statistics indicate that sensitive skin conditions amongst the young are on the rise. Joanna is thrilled to play a part in offering relief to sore, stressed skin and, with Childs Farm claims that, in user trials of more than 100 babies aged 0-18 months with medically-diagnosed eczema, 100 per cent of parents reported no irritation to their baby’s skin when using the baby moisturiser, and 94% said they would recommend the range to other parents of children with medically

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diagnosed eczema, it’s definitely a positive sign to parents that there is an answer to their child’s skin irritation.

‘It sounds dramatic, but people have phoned me in floods of tears telling me they’ve had eczema all their lives and now it’s gone. We’re part of that change,’ Joanna says.

Already, the Childs Farm brand is trusted by parents across the world and has helped treat thousands of children’s eczema-prone skin world-wide – thanks, in part, to the viral spread of glowing social media reviews.

Formulated especially for the delicate skin of babies and children, Joanna says that Childs Farm uses natural, ‘free-from’ ingredients and essential oils to create toiletries that are mild, kind and delicioussmelling, with natural fragrances, such as organic tangerine, sweet orange, grapefruit and tea tree, adding to the sensory delight.

‘All Childs Farm products are free from parabens, SLSs, minerals oils and artificial colours and is one of the very few baby and child ranges to undergo clinical safety tests and controlled user trials,’ says Joanna. ‘These certify that the products are dermatologically tested and approved, paediatrician approved and are suitable for newborns and upwards, even those with sensitive skin, prone to eczema.’

For Australian mum and influencer, Rebecca Little, the discovery of the Childs Farm range provided much-needed comfort and healing to the severe eczema her four-year-old daughter, Charlotte, had suffered most of her young life.

Charlotte’s skin was so irritated that she would scratch until she bled and, after desperate trips to the emergency department of their local hospital and a regime of treatments that included everything from bleach baths to steroids, Rebecca was contacted by Childs Farm, who had read about her plight with Charlotte.

For Rebecca and Charlotte, the relief was almost immediate, and, with regular use of the bubble bath and moisturising products, her tender skin was healing and the painful scratching had stopped within just a few days.

It’s a story with a happy ending that Joanna loves being part of.

Any successful business, says Joanna, is dependent on ‘super-human drive, commitment and ambition – not forgetting a thoroughly researched and brilliant idea’.

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‘You need to know and understand your competition and ensure that you can offer something differentiated and that consumers really want.

And you must believe in your brand or products with total conviction,’ Joanna says.

But success is not without its challenges.

In 2017 and 2018, Childs Farm experienced the unexpected impact of outstanding growth – success that came so fast that keeping up with it meant a struggle to keep up with demand.

‘It’s what we call a quality challenge,’ says Joanna.

When asked what she wishes she would have known in the brand’s earliest days, Joanna says it’s the reality that time really does fly when you have children.

‘Enjoy and embrace every moment with them. If I had really understood this nine years ago, I think I would have brought in some business big-guns to help run the business sooner,’ she says.

For other businesswomen hungry for their own business-building tips, Joanna’s advice is clear.

‘Be prepared to give the hours the business needs to be able to succeed, whilst managing your family. If you really want it, you will find the energy to do it,’ she says. ‘But running your own business is all consuming, so go into it being prepared to give everything you need to be able to win.’

Working full-time, running a business, being a parent and a girlfriend is pretty challenging, Joanna admits.

‘The amount of time and energy spent at work sometimes leaves me exhausted when I get home, so I have to conjure up a second wind to be able to cook, catch up and chat with the family,’ she says. ‘As my girls have got older - they are now 11 and 13 - they need me more, FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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and add to that the love of my life, Jonathan, who I met four years ago, and his two kids. It’s all go.’

As the brand continues to expand, Joanna’s recent decision to bring a new Managing Director into the business provides her with more time to focus on the parts of the business she loves the most – ‘and that only I can do, freeing up my hours to be more human’.

The change means Joanna now only works across five days, not seven, and for the mother who turned a barn-based invention into a global skincare empire – driven by her desire to make her child’s life healthier and happier – Joanna is looking forward to writing the next chapter in this business success story.

In the short-term, though, she’s also excited about the prospect of taking time for a proper family holiday – without her laptop.

“It’s real progress!” says Joanna.

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Childs Farm is now available in: Australia, New Zealand Thailand, Cyprus, Ireland, Iceland, UAE, South Africa, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malta and 5 Star hotels in the UK, France and Hong Kong, as well as Scott Dunn villas & chalets world-wide. Joanna currently lives in Hampshire with her two girls, boyfriend Jonathan, 3 dogs, one cat and an elderly bantam.

Fast Facts: • All Childs Farm products are suitable for newborns and upwards • All Childs Farm products are dermatologist and paediatrician approved • Childs Farm has been awarded the Leaping Bunny certification which confirms that none of the ingredients or finished products are tested on animals. All products are only ever tested on children and parents • Childs Farm products are not organic but contain naturally derived ingredients • All Childs Farm products are suitable for vegans with the exception of the hair conditioner and de-tangler, which both contain honey • The only difference between the baby moisturiser and the moisturiser is the fragrance. The Childs Farm baby moisturiser is only lightly-fragranced, whilst the Childs Farm moisturiser contains grapefruit and organic tea tree oil Childs Farm is named after founder, Joanna’s, old farm which was owned and built by a family called Childs in 1745.

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Naughty Or Normal?

Written by: Caroline Meyer

There are many behaviours that we might see as naughty that may actually be quite normal. These can be unwanted behaviours as a result of a developmental phase or due to the environment they are in. These behaviours require proactive intervention and compassion instead of punishment. Let’s look at a few of these behaviours.

CORE CONDITIONS Some behaviours are linked to core conditions such as thirst, hunger, tiredness or illness. Little children are not always able to recognize the core conditions and have difficulty managing their emotions and behaviours. They may act out inappropriately as they are unable to communicate their needs. You may notice your child is grumpy and may act out a little while before mealtime. This can be as a direct result of feeling hungry and being unable to let you know. There may be big changes in behaviour when a child is ill or before bedtime. If behaviours fluctuate at different times, try and find out if there isn’t something behind the behaviour and not just a child being naughty.

OVERSTIMULATION Have you ever noticed that there are almost always screaming kids in the grocery stores? Often little ones have already been exposed to a number of other activities prior to going shopping. They become overstimulated and sometimes even tired as well.

Rushing around without any downtime can make children lash out and behave inappropriately as they are not able to communicate how they feel. Cut down on activities, make sure kids have rest and enough quiet time in between activities to allow them to cope and not become overstimulated. This should prevent the behaviours from being asserted.

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NO IMPULSE CONTROL Studies show that there is a region of the brain that is directly involved in impulse control. This area is immature to start with and develops slowly over time. It is only matured at the end of the adolescent stage of growth. This is often why kids under the age of 4 are unable to resist doing something even when they have been told they must do. Being able to resist temptation is very hard for toddlers and younger. While this behaviour can come across as naughty, it is generally due to the lack of impulse control. We need to be aware of this and empathise with our little ones instead of being upset by the behaviour. Using games that require the child to wait for their turn is a good way to start developing impulse control. You can start this with youngsters by rolling a ball back and forth so that the child has to wait to receive the ball before rolling it back.

THE EXPRESSION OF EMOTION As we mature, we learn to subjugate, hide and defuse emotions that can overwhelm us. Kids have not yet learned to do so. They may instead act out by crying, screaming, yelling and throwing tantrums. The best way to deal with these behaviours is to ignore it where possible and try and talk to the child about how they feel once they calm down. You can help your child express these emotions constructively by reading them books where the characters have feelings and even expressing your own feelings in words when things happen at home.

Being able to label the emotion and communicate it to others will go a long way to defusing situations where emotions are running amok. Once your child is calmer, you can also discuss ways of doing things that can help fix the cause of the emotion. Even if it is not possible to completely remove the source of the emotion, kids can learn ways of coping with them instead. Validate their emotions and offer appropriate strategies to deal with it instead of inappropriate behaviours.

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naturally energetic and want to be moving. This can result in frustration for parent and child. This is not being naughty, but part of their physical needs while developing. You can teach patience and how to wait by starting with small steps and explaining why they need to wait. Use a timer so that they know when a task will start or end. See when they are at their peak of energy explosions for the day and use this time for outdoor play, going to the park or other activities where they can burn off some of the excess energy. Kids also have a need to play. This is often how they learn.

This can lead them to playing when they should be doing something else or ignoring instructions as they are doing something fun. Build in playtime with your child into the daily routine so they will not interrupt daily activities with a demand to play quite as often.

A BID FOR INDEPENDENCE Young children will start trying to do things for themselves. They will start devising plans and attempt to carry them out. This is not usually to be naughty or behave badly, but simply a need to assert themselves.

As parents this can be difficult when a toddler wants to dress themselves in clothing that is not suitable for the occasion and takes twice as long as it would for you to dress them. Finding your little one with a scissors and hair cut into an interesting new style can be quite alarming. They may carry out plans without thinking of the consequences, but they are not necessarily being naughty. Becoming independent is part of normal development. Allow your child to make choices to help them become confident in their own decision making. Instead of letting them choose from their entire wardrobe, pack out 2 to 3 appropriate choices and allow them to choose the one they prefer to wear. This is a win-win for both parent and child.

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IT MAY BE THEIR NATURE Some children are less sensitive than others, some are moodier. Some pick up cues from others, some don’t. Some may do well in some areas but battle in others. Some take criticism well, while others struggle.

Some kids don’t like to take chances or try anything new while others will jump in feet first. Look at your child’s strengths and weaknesses and realise that some of the behaviours they exhibit is as a direct result of their inherent nature. Be understanding of their character and help them find ways of mitigating their behaviour that you want to remedy.

Sometimes you have to just let them be.

THEY MAY RESPOND TO YOUR MOOD Kids pick up on your mood very easily and may emulate them. If you are joyful and happy, you may find your child behaves in a happier, more light-hearted way. If you are always grumpy and unhappy, you may have a child that is excessively moody. Your kids will often look to you on how to behave in situations as well, so learn to defuse your own anger and frustration and lighten your own mood and it may also have a beneficial outcome for your child.

INCONSISTENT PARENTING All children need boundaries and limits. Parents have to be consistent if they want children to learn to cope with the limits placed. You can’t offer choices one day and insist on no choices the following day. You can’t give in to the child’s demands one day and punish them when they protest the next day when you don’t give them what they want.

Decide the limits and boundaries and lay them out to the kids, age appropriately. Then stick to your guns! Consistency is key.

Be compassionate and empathetic and help your child grow and thrive through some of the really difficult developmental stages of their lives.

Parent consistently and help your child deal with their energy and emotions. This will result in a lot less “bad” behaviour and a wellrounded child.

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Written by Caroline Meyer

TOPICS PARENTS SHOULD TALK TO KIDS ABOUT

With social media and technology expanding rapidly, kids are exposed to topics at a much younger age than in the past.

The internet is also full of fake news, myths and legends and this can be very confusing to children learning about these topics for the first time. Here are a few recommended topics to discuss with your children to give them a factual rendition or to warn them about dangers especially trends that come and go which can be harmful.

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INTERNET CHALLENGES There seems to be a new challenge doing the rounds every second week. Many of these can be harmful and cause permanent damage. Challenges such as “Pass Out Charlie”, “Salt and Ice Challenge”, “Cinnamon Fire”, “Hot Pepper Challenge” and even silly things like eating Tide Pods, can cause harm to your child. Children follow these challenges because their peers are doing it or to prove a point or even for “likes” on their social media.

Many of these challenges have resulted in harm and even death to children that try them. Other challenges such as “Charlie Charlie” which is a creepy game, in which children try to summon demons, can result in nightmares and fear responses. Talk to your children about internet challenges and why they should not take part.

CYBERBULLYING/BULLYING Bullying has been around as long as children have been around (and some adults remain bullies even after they pass the stage of being kids). The advent of the internet now allows for even more bullying as people can remain faceless and anonymous while using text to bully others online. Encourage your children to talk to you if they are being bullied. Let them know it is okay to be upset by it and it is never okay to bully someone. If this occurs at school, you may want to approach the teachers or someone in authority to deal with the problem and to prevent future bullying. Talk to your child about predators on the internet as well and let them know people on the web are not always what they seem. As a parent, you do need to monitor the sites your children visit and restrict them from making friends with strangers on social media and even in games that allow for interaction between players.

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Internet safety is very important and it is not an invasion of privacy to check on your child’s internet activities in order to keep them safe.

HIV AND STDS Children are exposed to sex talk on the internet, radio and television as well as in discussion with peers from an early age. Children are also engaging in sex acts from a younger age. It is important that the discussion be had about HIV and other STDs as soon as children have the capacity to understand the topic. It is also important to broach the topic of vaginal infections with girls as well when it is appropriate.

LGBT LIFESTYLES The LGBT community has been in the news a lot over the past couple of decades and what it means can be quite confusing to children. Explain what it means and you can also add on that everyone deserves equal rights and the same treatment regardless of race, religion and sexual orientation. If they are brought up knowing that it is not okay to mistreat people based on their differences, then this subject may end up just being a discussion on definitions as they are commonly understood.

RACE RELATIONS This is important for all children, regardless of their race.

Talk to your child about instances where minorities are treated differently in a way that is harmful or discriminatory and how this is not acceptable. Help them get support for themselves or their friends should they be treated badly based on race. Let them know who to approach to get something done to correct the problem and that they can always come to you if they have concerns.

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TEEN SUICIDE This is something that all parents need to get educated on so that they can look for warning signs. Do not ignore warning sighs such as depression, mood disorders, behavioural changes, withdrawal and so forth. Do ask the difficult questions. If your child tells you about friends that may be talking about suicide, listen and get involved.

Issues that cause suicide need professional input in most instances to help the child deal with their symptoms.

BEHAVIOUR PROBLEMS Children may suffer from anxiety, depression and other mental illness and parents may be afraid to address behaviour problems that result for these issues. Many behavioural problems can also be due to psychological problems and even physical ones. If your child is demonstrating problem behaviour, it may be a good idea to consult your doctor who may then recommend a psychiatrist. Getting to the bottom of the problem and getting treatment can help your child’s behaviour improve.

SOCIAL BEHAVIOURS Having friends is important for development of a child. It helps teach them to handle expectations and emotions of others and how to give and take in relationships.

Friendships help children grow socially and emotionally.

Encourage your child to make friends. Keep track of their friendships and make sure you get to spend some time with their friends as well to ensure there are minimal negative influences and that the “friends” are not bullies.

Social interaction is very important, but the quality of the friendships is equally important.

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T O Y r e v i e w s

by: SHEREE HODDINETT FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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JELLYCAT SHOOSHU PUPPY WOODEN RING TOY $45

4/5

Che w y c h u c k l e s wit h t h is d ear d o ggo! Tufty- terrif ic and ruff - ruff - rattly, t he S hooshu P uppy Wo o d e n Rin g T o y is s t r o keably sof t. This puppy has scrummy vani l l a p aws and f a ce , a n d f a b u l o u s flyin g g r ey ear s! This Shooshu has brought a sturdy wood e n r i ng t o he l p w i th t r ic ky t eet h in g !

Yo ur l i ttl e o n e will only have eye s for t h is gorgeou s p u p p y on c e y ou h a n d it o v er ! Wi th t he sof t e s t f u r , w hich is almos t lik e t ou c h in g a rea l p u p p y , ev en y ou will f ind y o u r s el f t e m pt e d to o f f e r up a pat, if you can get a n y wh ere n ea r it of c ou rse! Sh oosh u wi l l wi n yo u ov e r w i t h o n e glance from thos e p u p p y d og ey es a n d will ea sily b e p a rt o f th e f am ily i n n o ti m e !

Ava i l abl e fro m: Li l Trea su res, Mig hty Ape

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LAGOON BRAINBOX ANIMALS $12.95

5/5

The o b j e c t o f t h es e fu n lit t le b o xes is to study a card for 1 0 seconds and t he n answe r a que s t i on o n a r o ll o f t h e d ie. T h ese f un, fast paced and educational gam e s p r ov i d e e ndle s s e n t e r tain men t as w ell a s i mproving visual recall.

Our v e r d i ct – M emory game s are a lwa y s good for a la u gh ! It ’s fu n n y t o s ee wh a t y o u ac t ua l l y t a k e n otice of and it’ s us ua lly t h e most irrelev a n t p iec e of in f orma ti o n o n th e c a rd t h a t y o u d on’ t need to ans wer t h e q u est ion or c ou ld ju st work in y ou r f a v o u r ! T h i s ga m e w o u l d b e perfe ct for k ids aged 8 a n d u p a n d ma y b e ev en a f ew a d u l ts wh o wa n t to jo in i n o n th e fun, a few drink s migh t ev en ma ke it more fu n . It ’s id ea l for th o s e b o th lo o kin g t o te s t t he ir me mory and e v en st ren gt h en memory skills wh ile lea rn i n g r a n d o m f ac t s a b o u t a n i mals of the w orld!

Ava i l abl e fro m: G a m eo l ogy, Mi ghty A pe, My er FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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VTECH TURBO FORCE RACERS ASSORTMENT $29.95

4/5

S t a rt y o u r e n g i n es wit h t h e T u r b o Force Racers! Shake your wrist when we ar i ng t he re m o t e -c o n tr o l wr is t b an d t o c h a r ge up the vehicle f or a Turbo Boost. Onc e r e ad y t o ra ce , p l a y i n t h r ee m o d es : Ma n u a l Drive, Robot Control, and Responses. T he b ut t ons o n t h e T u r b o S t a t io n t r ig g er t h e t urbo boost f or f un play and interactive r e sp onse s.

The a s s or t m e n t is ava ila b le in b lue, red, green and yellow. Pick your f av e r ac i ng co lo u r a n d y ou ’ r e o ff a n d r ac in g ! Have you got the need for speed? Vroom V r oom . . .

Turbo F o r c e R ac in g !

Our V e r d i ct – While my girls can be a lit t le b it on t h e girly sid e wh en it c omes to th ei r to y s , we ’ re s t i l l a l w a ys up to give anything a go a n d ra c in g lit t le c a rs is n o exc epti o n . Wh i l e a lit t le u n s u r e a t firs t, once the y have t h e h a n g of it q u ic kly t u rn s in t o a c omp eti ti o n to s ee who ca n g o t h e fas tes t and cove r the b iggest d ist a n c e. Th e wrist b a n d wa s a littl e tr i c k y f o r m y 4- y e a r - o l d t o navigate but s he s t ill wa n t ed t o h a v e a go, a lmost ma sh in g th e b u tto n s in t he p r o ce s s ( not unus ual for her wit h a n y t h in g!) a n d h er b ig sist er worked th i n g s o u t h e rse l f ( v e r y i n d e pe ndent!) . D efinitely wort h a go if y ou h a v e kid s wh o lov e r a c i n g to y s !

Ava i l abl e fro m: B i g W , G ood To y Stor es And Online Retailer s

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VTECH LEARN & DANCE DINO $49.95

4/5

R o a r , d a n c e a nd la u g h wit h t h e innovative Learn & Dance Dino. This c l e v e r d i no in t r o d u c e s t h e ST E M b a s ic s o f c o d ing, movements, cause and ef f ect as well as e m ot i ons a nd f i n e m ot o r s kills . H e c o m es w ith three emotion tiles (happy, angry, sl e e p y ), t hr e e music ti l e s (h i p h o p , m a r c h in g , ballet) plus three- character tiles (dinosaur , r ob ot , a nd m on s te r ). M ix a n d m a t c h t h em to create 2 7 diff erent combinations o f e m ot i ons, music s ty l e s a nd c h a r a c t er s s u c h as happy hip- hop dino or angry marchi ng m onst e r .

P la ce t h e c o l ou r fu l t iles o n D in o ’s back to customise how you want t o p l ay wi t h him . E v e r y ti m e a t ile is in s er t ed , Dino moves, sings, dances, talks and e nc our age s childr e n t o f ol l o w alo n g fo r g r o s s -motor play. Experimenting with the e m ot i on t i l e s he lps c h i l d r e n b u ild s o c ia l a n d emotional skills. Angry Dino may stomp ar ound or sa y, “L e t ’s p r a c t ic e c alm in g d o wn , ” helping children learn that there are m any way s to e x p r e s s f e e l i n g s . W h en p la yt ime is done, store the tiles in the dinosaur e gg.

Our v e r d i ct – We all k now k ids can be a b it a ll ov er t h e p la c e wh en it c omes t o f eel i n g s a n d e m o t ion s . S o t o have a toy that helps t h em u n d erst a n d a lit t le b it b et t er is one b o n u s wi th this c u t e D i n o ! B ut for any k ids w ho lov e t o d a n c e (like min e!) it ’s ev en b etter ! I t wo r k s p e rf e ctl y w i t h m ultiple functions s o kid s won ’t get b ored ea sily , it ’s in t era c t iv e , th e v o i c e i s c le ar a n d e a s y t o unders tand and thi s is id ea l if y ou h a v e a lit t le on e wh o is a ls o a d i n o s a u r f an. I’ v e f o u n d over the years that a n y t h in g wit h b righ t c olou rs, ma kes n oi s es a n d h a s lo t s o f b u t to n s to pus h ( better than y ou rs righ t p a ren t s?!) is a lwa y s a n a t t ra cti o n f o r k i d s o f a ll a g e s , i n cl uding my two w ho s eem t o en joy p la y in g wit h t h in gs u n t il t h e b a tter i es r u n out!

Ava l i abl e fro m: Ta rget, K m a rt, Good T oy Stor es And Online Retailer s .

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BECOMING A FATHER THINGS I WISH I KNEW WRITTEN BY LANCE ARROW

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Being dad to a child can be a very daunting task. For some dads the panic sets in on hearing:” I’m pregnant” while for other dads, it may not kick in until after baby is born. For me, the last 2 months of pregnancy were petrifying! I knew there was a baby coming but besides the occasional scan, I was battling to get my head around it. Would I bond with the baby?

How will I know what to do? Will I be a good dad? How can I tell if I’m parenting right? So many questions. I’m going to list just a few of the ones I struggled with while becoming a dad which may help a new father-to-be in some small way.

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LABOUR

We had discussed this a few times. The hospital bag was packed; the plans were all in place. It seemed like it would be a breeze! Cue baby that decided to come 2 weeks earlier than anticipated and in the middle of the night. I was woken from a deep sleep by a panicked spouse. My head was fuzzy, I was tired and everything we had planned went right out of my head. I managed to get the bag into the car and helped my wife get dressed.

I was timing the contractions, but I was not sure on how far apart they needed to be before we headed to the hospital or even what the contraction looked like.

I went according to my wife’s groans of discomfort and headed to the hospital when they were 5 minutes apart, hoping that I was getting this right. Luckily the hospital is only 10 minutes’ drive away. I found myself relying on my wife for cues and instructions, where I should have been much better prepared.

BEING SUPPORTIVE If I had been better prepared, I would also have been able to offer more support. You are in this together and you have as much responsibility as your partner does. I realised in the labour ward that nothing I said could make any difference to what she was going through. All I could do was offer a hand to hold, icechips to suck on and to listen to her curse me for the pain she was going through. Trying to offer anything else is not constructive. We really do have no idea what a woman goes through in childbirth. I realized that a FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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trained doula offered a lot more than I could except to just be there and tell my partner how great she is and how proud I am.

DECISIONS AT THE HOSPITAL I wish I had known beforehand all the medical decisions that would or could be made on the day. You may not even know enough to be able to decide which options are best, but you find yourself signing papers allowing medical professionals to do all sorts of things. I didn’t know what the long-term effects would be or any common side effects from different procedures.

My wife was not in a state to decide coherently either at this point, so I had to sign off on things with very little knowledge. Not a good position to be in. I wish I had read more on the possible issues that could occur and discussed it with my wife long before we were at the hospital awaiting our child’s entry.

THE BIRTH My wife had natural birth with an epidural, so part of the labour was at least a lot more comfortable.

To go from that to the screams and obvious pain that kicked in before baby came out was distressing for me as well. I did not realize how much pain she would be in or how messy the 98

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process is. Hearing my little girl cry was extremely emotional for me and I found myself sobbing with joy tinged with relief. I was handed my little baby to hold and I instinctively knew how to how her. The love just wells up inside. I was a Dad. I had taken paternity leave so I could spend the first few days of my daughter’s life at home with her and my wife. I found myself having to run up and down doing things I would never have imagined before to help my wife. She was exhausted and had a tear which needed to heal. She was breastfeeding which as well drained her quite a bit at the start. I did the night shift to give her a few hours extra sleep.

I learned to change nappies and how to bath a tiny, squirming little person. I wish I had taken some extra some and had not gone back to work so soon. I could’ve been more supportive and spent even more quality time bonding with my child. For the next one, I will take some annual leave as well to supplement the paternity leave.

I know my partner will appreciate it and I will enjoy spending more time with my new baby.

I will also do a lot more research and be more supportive. While scary and full of challenges, this is one of the highlights of my life and I am grateful for every minute of it.

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TOXIC HABITS THA AS NORMAL

AT ARE ACCEPTED written by: Lance Green

There are tons of books written on sex, marriage and relationships. None of these set us up to be good partners though. Most of the movies we watch portray fairy-tale-like relationships or dysfunctional ones. They set unreasonable standards or set us up for failure if we try to emulate them. Books and movies on love and relationships generally by-pass unconventional relationships and sexualities and ignore the routine and practical. People are pigeon-holed in to categories and partners are often seen as trophies instead of being partners. For many people, looking to their parents doesn’t help to find a relationship that is healthy or relatable either. So what do you do? There are many new studies done that look at happy, healthy relationships and what has been discovered is that there are some general principles that result in relationship failure. They may not be what you would expect.

KEEPING SCORE This is when one or both partners keep track of every wrongdoing or mistake the other partner has made. Whenever there is an argument or even a difference of opinion, these failures are brought up over and over. These failures are often used to justify bad behaviour by the other partner. For example, you were caught messaging sexual messages to a friend online, but you justify it by reminding your partner that they were flirting with your best friend three years ago. This is a very toxic thing to do in a relationship. All this does is build up bitterness and your partner will feel manipulated by your guilt-tripping. This also prevents you and your partner from dealing with the current issues as well as letting go of the past. This ends up with one-upmanship where both people deflect their mistakes on to the partner and no conflict gets resolved. No one moves on and the relationship eventually breaks down.

Constructive resolution to keeping score includes dealing with only the issue at hand without dredging up previous issues unless they are directly connected. Move on from past mistakes and do not use your partner’s errors as an excuse to commit your own. Forgive, forget and move on.

If you can’t do this, you can’t accept your partner as they are and the relationship is unlikely to succeed.

BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE While some people are more sensitive and will pick up on cues, many people will not. Throwing out hints or finding ways to annoy your partner instead of coming out and discussing what is upsetting you can make for a very uncomfortable relationship. You need to be able to communicate with your partner without fear of retaliation. If your relationship is open and honest, there should never be a reason to try get your point across using suggestions and hints. Talk it out instead. A partner who supports you will validate your feelings, even if they do not agree or are not necessarily responsible for those feelings. They can then offer their own input, which you would see as equally valid. In this way, feelings are 102

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expressed and improvements can be made.

THREATENING TO BREAK UP Some people will use the threat of ending the relationship as blackmail to get their own way in a relationship or as a way to refute a complaint or criticism from their partner. This type of emotional blackmail creates a lot of tension and drama in a relationship. Even the slightest issue can lead to a commitment crisis. Both partners need to learn how to deal with negatives in the relationship and communicate effectively without threatening the continuance of the relationship. Constant drama and threats of a breakup will ultimately culminate in just that.

MISPLACED BLAME You have valid feelings, your partner has valid feelings but blaming each other for your feelings is not okay. There may be lack of support for your emotions sometimes, perhaps due to your partner also having a hard day, being distracted or even fatigued. This does not mean that you can then lash out and blame them for how you are feeling. Take ownership of your emotions and discuss with your partner ways of supporting each other emotionally. This stops your partnership turning into a codependent relationship where you rely on your partner to make you feel better and cannot cope with your own feelings. This leads to selfishness and resentment and can cause intense bitterness in a relationship. Learn to be supportive of each other without be obligated to “fix” the emotions of the other person.

JEALOUSY Invading your partner’s personal space, monitoring who they talk to, their social media interactions and interpreting everything as a threat to your relationship can be very damaging. Turning your feelings of jealousy against your partner and attempting to control their behaviour leads to an extremely toxic situation. This is not affection and excessive jealousy is not healthy. It is controlling and manipulative and displays a lack of trust in the relationship. This kind of behaviour leads to discord and drama and is very demeaning to the partner that is being mistrusted.

A relationship does not work without trust. Mild jealousy is natural but excessive jealousy means that you need to work on your own insecurities and trust issues. Being jealous to the extent that it becomes a problem can lead to a severe breakdown in the relationship and more than likely the failure of it in the long run.

Communication is key. Talking openly and honestly is the best way to make a relationship work. It is nice to spoil your partner now and then, but don’t use a gift or a meal out as a way of avoiding the conflict and looking for forgiveness. The problems will only rear their ugly heads at another time. Talk it out and resolve the conflict and look forward to a healthier, happier, long-term relationship.

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PARENTING RE A LITY CH ECK

WRITTEN BY: SHEREE HODDINETT

You don’t realise how hard parenting is until it hits you in the face. Literally in the face, with either an arm, leg, head (the worst!) or a dreaded toy which has been flung in your direction, either deliberately or in frustration, it doesn’t matter, it still hurts! If someone had told me in the beginning how different each day can be with kids, I probably would have laughed in their face.

But it really can be different every single day. Every. Single. Day. Just when you think you have a handle on things, bam like a smack in the face, the kids change it up again. I guess it’s great they keep us on our toes but sometimes a bit of warning would be nice. Yeah I know, right?!

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I have had a bit of a glimpse into my future of parenting two girls. My current partner has two older girls and wow is it a big change. I think I have enough drama dealing with attitude now, I think I will have to run away when my girls hit pre-teen territory.

It is scary. I think my girls don’t listen now but that is the understatement of the century. I know as kids grow older they go through puberty and finding their place in the world but I swear I don’t remember being that bad. Granted it was over 20 years (gee I’m showing my age now!) but surely things haven’t changed that much, have they?!

I guess it goes to show how different things are as a parent. You gain a lot of respect and understanding for what your own parents must have gone through in raising you and your siblings. I know my brother was the painful one because I was a saint!

Haha! I know I wasn’t but compared to others I believe I may have been a walk in the park, right mum?! Nudge nudge, wink wink! I did apologise to my mum when I came out the other end of being a

tortured teenager. Well mum, I think karma has got its sweet revenge in the form of two very beautiful and very spirited daughters. Like mini versions of myself to pay me back for all the grief I may have caused, back in the day!

most kids, mum is their safe place where they can let all their feelings and emotions play out without fear of reprimand. Yep I can agree that I deal with that on a regular basis, does my head in but I’m there for the big hugs at the end of it all.

I think every parent knows nothing is going to be easy but when you’re actually living it, it’s a totally different story. I wasn’t one of those parents-to-be who said “oh my child will never do that”, well I could have said it in my head and not realised what an idiot I was being! In a way I feel it’s not so much that you choose a parenting style but more that your child chooses their path and way of doing things. Yes, there are many children that may be missing some, shall we say, “direction”?

Oh my children are far from perfect, believe me.

The way I get spoken to sometimes is enough for me to blow a gasket ten times over, but I’ve been told by many people that they are beautiful, polite children. I often have to double check we are talking about my children and not someone else’s!

But they do say that for

It’s hard but I often have to remind myself that it’s not forever. They won’t need me 24/7 forever, they won’t be hanging off me all the time and no doubt one day, I’ll be more of an embarrassment than anything else. But for now I will continue to scream at them when they drive me crazy and hug them tight when they need it and when I really need it too, because it’ll all be over before I know it! Head on over to www.shereekim. com to see what else has been happening in my parenting life. Until next time, keep enjoying the wild ride and ups and downs of parenting knowing you aren’t alone…

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fashion FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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girls FASHION 110

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Daydreamer Hoodie $99.95 Daydreamer Shorts $69.95 120

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Soho Hoodie $99.95 Soho Track Pants $89.95 FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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Soho Hoodie $99.95 Soho Track Pants $89.95 FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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Peach & Flame Panel T-Shirt $59.95 Balmoral Boy Shorts $59.95 FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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recipes sourced from:

australianblueberries.com.au FEBRUARY 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #101

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Delicious Waffles with Blueberry, Apple Compote & Cinnamon Mascarpone

prep time: 10 mins cook time: 10 mins serves: 4

INSTRUCTIONS 1

Combine the mascarpone, honey and cinnamon in a medium bowl with a spoon. Cover and place in the fridge to chill.

2

For the apple compote combine granny smith apples, blueberries, lemon juice and sugar in a large saucepan. Place over a low heat for approx. 10min stirring gently and occasionally until apples are tender but not soggy. Remove from heat, set aside to cool completely.

(Makes around 400g).

3

Pre-heat your waffle maker.

4

For the waffles place the milk, vegetable oil, and egg together in a medium bowl and whisk together.

5

In a separate, large sized bowl, combine self-raising flour and sugar.

6

Slowly pour the liquid mixture into the dry mixture and mix well with a spoon.

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INGREDIENTS 2 cup fresh blueberries 250 g mascarpone 3 tsp honey 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon granny smith apple, 2 lrg peeled, cored, and cut into 2cm chunks 1 tbsp lemon juice 3 tbsp sugar 3/4 cup cup milk 3 tbsp vegetable oil 1 egg 1 cup self-raising flour 1 tbsp sugar Maple syrup Cinnamon

Quick & Easy Blueberry Ombre Chia Pudding INSTRUCTIONS 1

Place fresh blueberries, sugar and 3 tablespoons water into a small saucepan. Set over high heat and bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes or until blueberries have burst.

2

Transfer into a fine mesh sieve over a bowl and strain juice. Using the back of a spoon or spatula squash the berries into sieve to remove excess liquid. Discard seeds and skin and set blueberry juice aside.

3

Place 1/3 cup of chia seeds in 3 separate bowls. Follow with 1/3 cup almond milk in each bowl and 1 tbs maple syrup. Add 2/3 of the blueberry juice to one bowl and the remaining 1/3 of the juice to another.

4

Stir 3 bowls thoroughly and allow to sit and swell for 10 minutes.

5

Using a tablespoon, evenly transfer the white chia mixture into the glasses first. Follow with the medium tone chia mix and finish with the darker tone chia mix.

6

Place in fridge for 1 hour or overnight to set.

7

Garnish with fresh blueberries, dark chocolate and mint. Serve immediately.

prep time: 10mins cook time: 15 mins serves: 2 INGREDIENTS 1/2 tsp fresh blueberries 2 tbsp sugar 1 cup white chia seeds 1cup almond milk 3 tbsp maple syrup fresh blueberries, 1/2 cup for garnish Dark chocolate, for garnish Mint sprigs, for garnish Coconut chips, for garnish

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Chicken, Blueberry & Avocado Burgers prep & cook time: 40 mins serves: 4

INSTRUCTIONS 1

For the burger mix: In a large bowl add chicken, avocado, garlic, panko crumbs, salt, pepper, oregano, parsley and chives. Mix well.

2

Divide into four even portions, shape into patties and place on a tray.

3

Place a large fry pan on high heat. Cook burgers for 5-8 minutes each side or until cooked through. Leave to rest for 5 minutes, covered in foil.

4

In the meantime lightly toast your burger buns in the toaster or under a griller until golden brown.

5

Lay out on individual plates and smear with whole egg mayonnaise. Top with lettuce, pattie, bean shoots, tomatoes and fresh blueberries. Smear chutney on remaining burger halve, top and serve immediately.

INGREDIENTS 500g fresh chicken mince 1 lrg avocado cut into chunks garlic clove finely 1 chopped 1/3 cup panko crumbs 1/4 tsp salt 1/4 tsp fresh ground black pepper 1/4 tsp oregano 1 tsp fresh parsley 1 tbsp fresh chives 4 sourdough burger buns 1/2 cup mixed lettuce 1/2 cup bean/snow shoots mini heirloom tomatoes 4 cut in half 1/2 cup fresh blueberries 4 tbsp mayonnaise 4 tbsp chutney of choice

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Blueberry Pizza prep & cook time: 35 mins serves: 4

INSTRUCTIONS 1

Preheat oven to 180°C.

2

Place pizza bases onto baking tray and set aside.

3

Combine cream and 1/2 the gorgonzola in a small saucepan and whisk over a low heat for 3 minutes or until cheese has melted.

4

Divide the cream mixture between the 4 pizza bases and spread all over evenly.

5

Scatter the remaining gorgonzola and mozzarella cheese over the bases.

6

Top with torn prosciutto and piles of blueberries. Cook for about 8 minutes, or until cheese is melted and pizza bases crisp.

7

Remove from oven and allow to cool a little. Top with the arugula and serve with shaved Parmigiano Reggiano.

INGREDIENTS 4 mini pizza bases crumbled gorgonzola 3/4 cup cheese shredded mozzarella 1 cup cheese 1/4 cup cream thinly sliced 70g prosciutto 1 1/2 cup blueberries 4 handfuls rocket Parmigiano1/2 cup Reggiano, grated

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Grilled Salmon With Blueberry Balsamic Sauce INSTRUCTIONS 1

Preheat oven to 180°C. Prepare a tray with baking paper.

2

Drizzle 1 teaspoon olive oil into a non-stick pan over a high heat. Place fish in, skin down. Cook for approx. 2-3min until crisp.

3

Remove from pan and place skin side down onto prepared tray.

4

Drizzle with 1 tablespoon melted butter and sprinkle with brown sugar and paprika.

5

Place the salmon in the oven for 15 minutes for medium.

6

In the meantime bring a medium sized saucepan to the boil. Using a slotted spoon carefully lower in the beans and boil for 2 minutes before removing and immersing in a bowl of ice water.

7

Drain then finely julienne the green beans. Place in a mixing bowl and season with salt, olive oil, pomegranate seeds and dill.

8

Remove fish from oven and set aside. Meanwhile, place a small saucepan over a medium heat.

9

Add the balsamic vinegar and cook for 5 minutes or until reduced by a third, then add the fresh blueberries and maple syrup.

10

Cook for another minute, stir in the tablespoon of butter and serve over salmon.

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prep time: 20 mins cook time: 25 mins serves: 4 INGREDIENTS 1 tsp 1 teaspoon olive oil 2 x 150g salmon fillet, skin on 1 tbsp butter, melted 1 tsp brown sugar 1/2 tsp paprika 1 /4 cup balsamic vinegar 1/2 cup fresh blueberries 1tbsp maple syrup 1tbsp butter 4 cups green beans 1/2 tsp salt Additional olive oil 1/2 cup pomegranate seeds Fresh dill, chopped

Haloumi, Blueberry & Baby Spinach Salad INSTRUCTIONS 1

Using a small sharp knife, cut the peel off the grapefruit. Slice in 1 1/ 2 cm thick rounds. Cut each round into quarters.

Using a vegetable peeler, peel the cucumber into long strips.

Combine the spinach, pea shoots, blueberries and mint in a medium bowl.

Heat a large non-stick frying pan over medium heat.

Slice the haloumi into 1 cm thick slices. Pat dry with paper towel. Grill for 1–2 minutes on each side, until browned.

Add the grapefruit, cucumber and haloumi to the salad and toss to combine. Drizzle with lemon juice and olive oil.

Serve topped with freshly ground black pepper.

prep time: 2 mins cook time: 8 mins serves: 4 INGREDIENTS 1 ruby red grapefruit 1 lebanese cucumber handfuls baby spinach 2 lrg leaves 2 lrg handfuls pea shoots 1 punnet blueberries 1 lrg handful mint leaves, torn packet haloumi (sheep & 1 cow milk blend) 1/2 lemon, juiced extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling freshly ground black pepper

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Raw Blueberry & Cashew Coconut Cake prep time: 3hrs 30mins chill time: 3hrs serves: 10

INSTRUCTIONS 1

Place the 450g cashews into a small bowl and cover with water.

In a separate bowl repeat the same step with the 40g portion of cashews. Set aside for 1 hour.

2

For the base place the walnuts and pecans into a food processor blending for 2 minutes or until fine. Add the dates and melted coconut oil and blend again for 30 seconds until incorporated.

3

Place mixture into a 22cm non stick cake tin. Push the base in firmly with your fingertips and place in fridge for half hour to set.

4

For the white layer pour the 450g cashews, soaked water, agave and coconut oil into a high-speed blender. Blend for 1 minute or until smooth.

5

Remove cake tin from the fridge and pour in mixture. Place into the freezer for 1 hour.

6

For the purple layer pour the 35g cashews, soaked water, blueberries, coconut oil and coconut flour into a food processor. Blend for 1 minute or until smooth.

7

Remove pan from the fridge and pour the purple mixture into cake tin.

8

Top with blueberries and lemon zest and place into the freezer for 1 hour.

9

Remove from fridge and decorate with buckinis, pomegranate seeds and edible flowers.

10

Slice and enjoy!

INGREDIENTS 3 cup cashews 1/4 cup cashews 1 1/3 cup walnuts 1/4 cup pecans 1 1/4 cup pitted dates 5 tbsp coconut oil, melted 1/4 cup agave 1 tbsp coconut oil 1 /13 cup fresh blueberries 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted 1/3 cup coconut flour 1/2 cup blueberries 1/2 lemon zest 1 tbsp buckinis 1 tbsp pomegranate seeds Edible flowers for decorating

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Three Ingredient Blueberry Ice-Blocks prep time: 10 mins freeze time: overnight serves: 4 - 6 INSTRUCTIONS 1

Place blueberries in a medium bowl and crush with a fork until smooth.

3

Add yogurt and honey and mix well.

5

Spoon mixture evenly into 6 ice block molds.

7

Freeze for a minimum of 4 hours or overnight if possible.

INGREDIENTS 2 cup fresh blueberries reduced-fat Greek 2 cups natural yogurt 2 tbsp honey

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