My Child Magazine Issue 104 May 2020

MAGAZINE.COM.AU

ISSUE 104 - MAY 2020

healthy children

EDITOR IN CHIEF

Bianca Medina ART DIRECTOR

Bianca Medina DEPUTY EDITOR

Caroline Meyer CONTRIBUTORS

Sheree Hoddinett Amy Adeney Lance Green Andrea Piacquadio Julia M Cameron August de Richelieu Rene Asmussen J Carter

CONTACT

My Child Magazine North Parramatta NSW Sydney Australia +614 11 572 877 editorial@mychildmagazine.com.au

Contents 6

46

88

Covid-19 And Children

Benefits And Hazards Of

Lack Of Communication

12

Essential Oils For Children

Can Ruin A Relationship

52

96

Healthier Eating Habits

Through The Eyes

Blogger -Growing Up Is

16

Of A Toddler

Hard To Do!

56

102

Get The Look Interiors

Fashion

68

114

Encouraging Kids To Read For Fun

Fashion Feature - Iris & Wool

How To Encourage

Healthy Mum Healthy Baby

22 Hygiene Habits For Kids

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76

Check-Ups During Pregnancy

Toy Reviews

34

82

Book Reviews

38

126 Recipes

Dad Read - Appreciating Mothers

VBAC Possibilities And Risks

140

MY CHILD DIRECTORY

DISCLAIMER: It My Child Magazine and mychildmagazine.com.au are wholly owned by My Child Magazine (ABN 79 167 787 662). No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in the company or in My Child or mychildmagazine.com.au. My Child contains general information only and does not purport to be a substitute for health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. Reproduction of any material without written permission by the publisher is strictly forbidden. We cannot accept responsibility for material lost or damaged in the post or for any unsolicited manuscripts and photographs. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.

Bianca Medina editor-in-chief

Editor’s Letter Hello Everyone, I hope you are all healthy, well and have been staying safe!

I am so happy that our lives are returning to a somewhat kind of new normal as restrictions are eased. I breathed a sigh of relief when my darling daughter returned back to school this term and resumed her kindergarten routine.

However, I won’t lie, I shed a tear or two on that first day back, it was actually a worse feeling than her first day at school!

So, with everything that’s been going on in this crazy world, it’s given me a chance to focus on what’s really important to me. Since becoming a parent, life has sped by at a lighting pace, there is no slow it down button and 5 years feels like a year. Being a mother is by far the greatest honour the universe has provided me in this lifetime, I can’t remember my life without my darling daughter, and nor would I want too, but being together for 7 weeks has also provided me with perspective.

I have a lot of help with raising my child and I am so appreciative to my family that give me endless support, words cannot describe how thankful to them I am. I am a fan of the saying “it takes a village”, but this time in lockdown has showed me how much I need and missed my village.

Until Next Month

Bianca oxo

editor’s picks

Staysharp Triple Rivet Knife Block Set 6 Piece $179 wiltshire.com.au

Issey Miyake Rose & Rose $146 myer.com.au

Rouge Hermes $94 hermes.com/au

Owens Crew $169 camillaandmarc.com

Heeler 4WD Family Vehicle $39 kmart.com.au

KIDS Light Warm Padded Parka $49.90 uniqlo.com/au

Tonya Tan Leather $228 tmidasshoes.com.au

JARDIN D’ORANGERS Candle $120 dior.com.au

Le Toy Van Petilou Gears & Cogs Busy Bee Learning Puzzle $39.95 discounttoyco.com.au

covid-19 and children written by: caroline meyer

The coronavirus seems to be all that everyone is talking about in 2020, and the hype may be justified. How the virus affects children needs to be assessed and understood to help find ways to prevent and treat COVID-19.

Children in general are less likely to develop the more severe form of COVID-19 and it is less likely to be fatal. However, children that are more vulnerable such as those already suffering with acute respiratory distress syndrome are likely to contract COVID-19 and experience a more extreme reaction.

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Children with immunocompromising conditions and existing pulmonary conditions are more likely to have severe outcomes with coronavirus infections, including non-COVID-19 infections.

It can be quite difficult to do an accurate assessment as around 60% of children that test positive for coronaviruses usually have other viral infections at the same time. So, the severe reaction could come from the coronavirus but also quite possibly as a result of one of the other infections which may even have similar symptoms. That being said, many children that may test positive may be asymptomatic and show no symptoms at all. This means that they are able to infect others without anyone knowing they are carrying the coronavirus.

This can result in contamination via means other than the respiratory tract as well. Children in many cases are not trained to clean their hands adequately after using the bathroom and can transmit the virus through faecal-oral transmission.

There is a recommendation that people ensure they have their mouths and noses covered in public spaces and keep a 2-metre distance between themselves and others. This can help reduce the spread as people who are asymptomatic and are carrying the virus are less likely to spread the virus in this way. Children should also wear masks in public areas. This may be a lot harder to enforce as little ones don’t understand and when irritated with the mask will simply pull it off. At schools and day-care centres, they come in to contact with many other children and physical distancing is a lot harder to enforce in these types of environments. It is suspected that COVID-19 affects children differently to adults, but the research is still in its infancy.

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Most children will experience mild symptoms similar to the common cold or otherwise be completely asymptomatic and display no symptoms at all. This means parents needs to be extra vigilant especially if there are elderly people in the home, immune compromised individuals or people with underlying conditions such as asthma, high blood pressure and diabetes.

Anyone who has a chronic illness should be aware of the risks involved with not practicing adequate hygiene and where possible, social distancing, in the home.

COVID-19 is likely to be around for some time to come and we may have to learn to live with a new normal until such time a cure is found or the virus eventually fades away in the way that other pandemics have in the past. In the meantime, it is up to us to protect our family and friends as best we can.

You don’t have to lose touch though. Have Skype meetings with the grandparents or electronic play dates with friends.

Make a game of wearing masks to get them to wear them in public. There are ones made with favourite characters that can help with this. Teach them songs that help them wash their hands well and for at least 20 seconds at a time, using soap and water. Avoid contact with family and friends suffering from chronic illnesses or are immunocompromised as far as it is possible. If you can keep your child home and avoid interacting with many other children, do so, as this can also help stop the spread. If you believe you or your child may have been exposed to the virus, practice self-quarantining and get tested to know for sure. If they seem to be having a severe reaction to the virus, they may need to be hospitalized.

Stay safe!

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HEALTHIER EATING HABITS

HOW TO ENCOURAGE

Written By: Caroline Meyer

It is important to develop healthy eating habits in children in order to ensure their well-being. If children are overweight, they are at a higher risk for many health problems.

If you are seeking ways to maintain the wellbeing of your children through eating habits, here is some guidance.

Ways to Keep Your Children Eating Healthy It is essential that your child eats a full breakfast every morning. Skipping breakfast may cause them to feel hungry and tired.

This can ultimately lead to them snacking on unhealthier foods during the day. When you’re planning meals for the day, consider how nutritional the food is. It is important to plan meals that are healthy. A great tip is to eat meals with the family to teach your children how to enjoy various different foods.

Incorporate more fruit and vegetables into daily meals, whether it is canned, frozen or fresh, it is a great source of vitamins and minerals. Allow your child to pick the fruit and vegetables they would like to eat when possible. This will help ensure that they usually eat what you serve. Start cutting out carbonated drinks and snacks that are high in calories. Rather turn to healthier snacks.

Although chips, candy or cookies is fine to have on the odd occasion, it’s better to have healthy snacks on hand and to offer it as a substitute to the high fat food options.

When considering portion sizes for your children, it is best to serve smaller amounts and allow them to ask for a second helping. It may be your responsibility to regulate the type of food your child is consuming, whether it be meals or snacks, however your children should be given the opportunity to choose the amount of food they want to eat. This helps reduce the chances of your child overeating.

A great place to start when deciding how much to serve is to dish up one tablespoon for each year of age. Do this for all components in the meal. This will help you work out a good portion for the age of your child.

You already know that soft drinks are not healthy choices, but don’t substitute them with fruit juices only. It is fine to serve fruit juices occasionally, but the best option is to offer your children low-fat milk or water. Fast foods are not recommended and should be kept as a minimum. However, on the days when you do get take-out, purchase the healthier options on the menu as far as possible.

If you’re serving new food in a meal, don’t feel discouraged if the children don’t eat it on the first try. Many kids don’t eat new food until it is served at least10 times, sometimes more. The key is to continue serving it and trying to convince them to give it a try. Don’t create the image that unhealthy foods are better than vegetables by using dessert as a reward for example. It is important to send the message that all food is equally valuable. Make healthier food easily accessible and keep the rest out of sight, this will make healthy choices easier for your kids by removing the temptation.

Ideas for Health Snacks: • Fresh vegetables, for example: baby carrots, squash, tomato.

• Lots of fruit, it can be fresh, frozen or canned.

• Dried fruit is also an option, except those portions should be kept small.

• Whole wheat crackers with low fat cream cheese or peanut butter.

• Low-fat yoghurt containing fruit.

• Crackers or low-fat wafers.

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Along with eating healthily, there are other parts of your child’s lifestyle that should be changed if necessary, in order to attain the best results. Consider working along the following lines:

“The most essential part of creating a healthy lifestyle or addressing your children’s eating habits, is staying positive.”

• Consume at least 5 vegetables and fruits daily; • Minimize screen time, whether it is TV, computer, phones and so forth to a maximum of 2 hours per day; • Add at least 1 hour of physical activities to their daily routine; • Ensure they don’t drink any sugar-sweetened drinks. This includes sports drinks, sodas, 100% fruit juices and similar. Replace it with water or low-fat milk.

The most essential part of creating a healthy lifestyle or addressing your children’s eating habits, is staying positive. This requires a support system and possibly setting goals to reach. Make sure to reward children when their eating habits improve to help them stay on track. Another aspect of support is showing the child love and affection. Letting them know that they are important and that you care is essential to help them stay healthy. Showing compassion and encouragement, throughout the process of creating healthy eating habits, is the key to maintaining this lifestyle.

If you put all of these steps into action, your child’s eating habits will become healthy in no time. It is important to keep a strict eating routine in the house for everyone and to help encourage your child by eating healthy too. The whole family will probably feel the results as well. Remember not to completely cut off all junk food, it is okay to occasionally let them have a treat, just don’t let it become a habit.

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HEALTHY

MUM

HEALTHY

BABY written by: CAROLINE MEYER

It is well known that if mum is ill during pregnancy, there can be consequences for the unborn child. Getting the right care is important to make sure the outcome is for the best of baby and mum. Even without there being an illness, there is a lot to consider to ensure that baby is healthy and happy. It can be overwhelming trying to decide what to do and what not to do as the internet can offer qualified and unqualified advice, which can sometimes appear contradictory or just too much for any expectant mum to have to deal with.

In the past, women had to deal with all sorts of unsolicited advice from parents and relatives and much of what they were told to do, may not have been backed up by any medical research at all. Women were given all sorts of herbal mixtures and even alcohol. In some cases, women were told to stay in bed for 9 months, even when they were perfectly healthy. Some people recommended exercise to prepare for the coming labour, while others said there should be rest and relaxation to avoid overexcitement which could lead to losing the baby.

With the vast amount of research that has been done over the years, more knowledge of the risks involved for pregnant women and improvement in diagnoses and inspection equipment, advise is generally personalized and is more trustworthy. This means that there is a lot more that can be done to protect your health and that of your unborn baby. While there is a lot that you can do, in some cases there is nothing you can do. In these cases, you have to try and keep your stress levels lower as far as possible and not dwell on things you cannot control.

If you haven’t already started improving your health and stopping bad habits, then pregnancy is a good time to do so for your health and that of your unborn baby. Stop smoking, avoid alcohol consumption and the use of unprescribed drugs and start improving your diet. One of the main problems leading to dangers during pregnancy is obesity. A large portion of women are overweight, which can lead to a variety of complications. Women that are obese during pregnancy are at higher risk of blood clots and delivering prematurely. They may also be at higher risk for diabetes and heart problems. While it would be better to start an exercise program and lose some weight before becoming pregnancy, there is no harm in doing mild exercise for 30 minutes at a time, 5 times a week in most cases. Discuss this with your doctor to ensure there are no issues for you personally.

Even just walking is better than no exercise at all. Some research suggests that children born from obese mums have a greater chance of becoming obese later in life as well. This may actually be related to a gene that turns on during pregnancy and can have an effect for up to 2 generations.

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Other issues such as rheumatoid arthritis, Crohns disease, lupus and other autoimmune diseases have a higher risk of preeclampsia. This also leads to a higher risk of heart disease later in life. Your doctor should be able to offer advice on reducing the risk of preeclampsia as far as is possible.

Preeclampsia can result in severe hypertension, preterm delivery, seizures, stroke and can even lead to death in a small number of cases. Another risk for issues during pregnancy includes anxiety and depression. A mum that is experiencing mental health issues may not eat properly or otherwise take care of herself during the 40 weeks of pregnancy. Taking anti-depressant medication comes with its own risks such as premature delivery. Discuss with your doctor and mental health professional the options available if you suffer from any mental health issues before or during your pregnancy. For some women, psychotherapy and other approaches may be recommended instead of drug interventions.

Keep a good hygiene level up during pregnancy including washing hands often. If you have other children, instil healthy hygiene habits in them too to prevent infections being carried home from school or day care. While it may be impossible to avoid all illnesses when pregnant, you should try and avoid infection as far as possible. Where possible, get vaccinated before you fall pregnant against tetanus, pertussis, diphtheria (3 in 1 shot), pneumonia, hepatitis A and B and the current flu vaccine. If you should fall ill, ensure you stay hydrated and take a recommended medication to reduce your fever where necessary. High fevers during pregnancy are correlated with autism and other conditions in the child. Ensuring you are on a good regimen of multi-vitamins and spacing your children out with at least a year between pregnancies can reduce the risk of developing autism.

Try and avoid contact with chemicals and contaminants as far as possible during pregnancy. Some chemicals that are in products being used daily can cause harm to the unborn child. This include phthalates found in some beauty products, bisphenol A that can be found in the lining of some food cans and in plastics as well as the chemicals used in flame retardants. Do not use plastic in the microwave or dishwasher (including baby bottles) as this can cause the chemicals in the products to leach out.

It is impossible to account for each and every eventuality during pregnancy and there will be instances that you cannot control. Improve your health and that of your unborn baby as far as possible by avoiding chemical you know are harmful, eating in a healthful manner, using supplements recommended by your doctor and mild exercise. For everything else, deal with it as it happens. Try and relax when possible and reduce anxiety. Sleep well and look after yourself.

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HYGIENE HABITS FOR KIDS WRITEN BY: CAROLINE MEYER

When we think of hygiene, we mainly consider washing hands and brushing teeth, but there are quite a few hygiene habits that we can teach our kids to improve their health and safety.

Home Hygiene consists of having your child develop an etiquette of cleanliness. Teach them to clean up after themselves if they mess (if they are small, you can help them with this). They can help take dirty dishes to the kitchen and when they are older, stack the dishwasher or hand wash the dishes. They need to learn to put on clean clothes every day and even if they have favourites, they should only wear them when they are clean. While you do not need to go overboard and have every surface spotless at all times, children can learn to be clean and hygienic in the home while still having room for exploration and creativity.

Food hygiene is quite important as bad habits can lead to illness. Explain to your children about the germs that can get into food and subsequently into their bodies if they do not practice food hygiene. Hands should always be washed before cooking or eating. If they help with the cooking, have them wear an apron and tie back hair (you can do the same as an example to them). Roll up sleeves to prevent food particles or grease getting on clothing.

While working with food always turn away and cough or sneeze into your elbow should you need to. Show your kids which foods have to stay in the refrigerator between uses and where and how foodstuffs are stored to avoid contamination. Food should be covered with clean lids to prevent bacterial growth. Make sure the refrigerator is cleaned regularly and all expired products are discarded.

Teach little ones to wash fruit before munching away or to ask for help with cleaning and peeling.

Hand hygiene is one of the top hygiene focusses to prevent the spread of disease. Use a song if needed to make sure hands are washed thoroughly. Wet hands, apply soap and build up a lather. Hands, fingers, palms and wrists should 24

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be well lathered and the underneath of the nails cleaned well. Wash for around 20 seconds. Rinse well before drying on a clean towel or use paper towels. Make this a habit so that your child learns to wash their hands often and especially before and after meals and snack times. Teach them to also wash after coughing or sneezing, playing with an animal and after using the bathroom. Other hand washing times should include after playing outside or handling dirt, coming into contact with a sick person, after shopping and coming home from school or extra mural activities.

Sleep hygiene may sound strange, but sleep is essential for children and creating a good sleep environment includes having good sleep hygiene. Avoid allowing eating or snacking in the bed to prevent crumbs and dirty bedding.

Keep sleeping hours to a routine unless the child is unwell.

The bed should be a place to sleep, not for working, playing or anything else. The bedroom should offer a clean, relaxed environment which can include lullabies, dim lights or night lights. Avoid having TVs, tablets, computers and other gadgets in the space. Make sure they are not hungry and that meal times are at least 2 or more hours before sleep.

You can offer a snack such as a cookie and a glass of milk before sleep if they complain they are hungry or thirsty before bed but don’t allow them to eat or drink in bed. The bedroom should be an area of peace and tranquillity and should not be used for time outs.

Oral Hygiene is a very important habit that needs to be started from when your child is small and will help them develop healthy habits. Oral health is essential to reduce bad breath, cavities and oral diseases. Even though the baby teeth are eventually replaced by adult teeth, the habits need to be in force before this point. Buy your child a child’s toothbrush so it fits comfortably in their mouths and is generally softer. Teeth should be brushed twice a day from the age of 12 months on. Don’t use toothpaste unless it is formulated specifically for children for the first year, water is fine. After the age of 2 they can use toothpaste.

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Try and clean teeth after they have eaten anything sweet to avoid the sugar that causes cavities from staying in the mouth for too long. You can also teach them how to use dental floss as soon as they are able to. Show them the correct way to brush and floss to set them up for a lifetime of clean teeth and fresh breath.

Nails can accumulate germs and dirt from playtime. Nails can also get damaged during play. Try and discourage nail biting to prevent them ingesting anything from under the nails. Trim nails weekly to keep them short and manageable.

Show them how to scrub under their nails and ensure they are clean when washing hands. Make sure toenails are not neglected and are also kept neat and clean.

Your child can also pick up issues related to their head and hair. This can include scalp infections, dandruff and lice. Hair should be washed at least twice a week to keep it clean and remove excess oils. Head lice should be treated immediately to avoid the spread and reinfection. Make sure bedding, hair brushes and so forth are thoroughly cleaned to remove any possible contamination from the lice and that your child knows not to let anyone else use her brush or comb. Keep your child away from other children that have lice. Encourage children with long hair to keep it tied up to reduce dirt accumulation. Don’t allow sharing of caps, combs, hats or pillows with other children.

Bathing is one of the most important hygiene factors and they should be bathing a minimum of once and preferably twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening.

Teach them to wash important areas such as groin, armpits, face, feet and legs thoroughly. They need to know how to apply soap or body wash/shower gels and to rinse well.

Show them how to wash their faces more gently as the skin in this area is more delicate.

Besides washing their feet, kids need to learn foot hygiene when it comes to shoes. Avoid wearing the same shoes for multiple hours daily especially without socks. Try and 26

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ensure that feet are clean before putting on shoes to prevent dirt and bacteria accumulating inside the shoes.

Show them how to wash their feet thoroughly including between the toes and under the toe nails. For rough feet, you can use foot scourers to slough off dead skin, but this is not likely to be needed when kids are small. Help them smooth and moisturize their feet and if needed, use creams to prevent build-up of fungus and bacteria. When they are older, they should wear slip-ons when using public showers to avoid bacterial contamination.

In the bathroom, there is likely to be all sorts of germs, no matter how diligent you are with cleaning. To reduce contact with bacteria from hands to face, teach them to wipe well or wash after using the toilet. Show them how to flush so that the toilet is left clean. You can also include a hand sanitizer in the bathroom for extra cleanliness. Start teaching bathroom hygiene from small and you will avoid a lot of issues as they get older.

Teach your little ones how to reduce the spread of illness when they have colds and flus by covering their nose and mouth with a tissue or piece of toilet paper when sneezing or coughing and to discard the used paper immediately.

Alternatively, they can cough into the crook of their arm.

This reduces the build-up of germs on to their hands, which can then be spread easily. If possible, they should wash their hands after a cough or sneeze if they were unable to get a tissue in time and had to sneeze into their hands.

Start building the habit early to help prevent the spread of common illnesses such as these.

Don’t expect your child to learn all of the hygiene habits instantly. Keep practicing good hygiene and set an example yourself and your little one will start following suit. Expect accidents to happen and don’t get too upset if the habits don’t form immediately. Be patient, keep explaining and showing your little one and they will eventually pick up the healthy habits that are important for their health and welfare.

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CHECK-UPS DUR

RING PREGNANCY WRITTEN BY: CAROLINE MEYER

It does not matter if this is your first or your 5th pregnancy, no two pregnancies are exactly alike. To do your best to ensure the health of yourself and your baby, you should schedule a visit with your caregivers as soon as you know you are pregnant. Whether it is your GP, your midwife or an OB/GYN, it is important that you set the milestone appointments as part of your antenatal care.

Antenatal appointments will allow your healthcare providers to do important checks to ensure your pregnancy is progressing well and that you and your baby are as healthy as can be. Potential risks can also be identified and with the right care and handling can be reduced or prevented.

These check-ups also allow you to ask questions or discuss anything pregnancy related that might be of a concern.

This is especially beneficial for first time mums who may need to find out a bit more the first time about all the changes happening in their bodies. During these checkups you can also discuss lifestyle issues such as improving your diet, quitting alcohol and tobacco or other substance abuse issues and even mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. You can speak to your carers about any other medical issues you may have or problems that could affect your or your baby.

You can choose who you wish to approach for your antenatal visits. You can meet with your usual doctor or a midwife or see your doctor before approaching a midwife if you prefer. You can discuss your birth plan with the health practitioner on the first visit and they may suggest you see a different medical professional if necessary. Depending on how or where you plan to give birth, your options may also change as to who you see for antenatal check-ups.

During your appointments you will usually give a short medical history the first time and thereafter updates on how the time between visits have been. You will most likely have a physical check-up and at some visits a scan.

Other tests may be run if needed. A lot will also depend on if you have had any problems, your health and that of your baby and the stage you are at in your pregnancy.

Your blood pressure, urine and weight are usually checked 32

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and any further testing is done or appointments are made for the tests at a later stage. This can include blood tests, screening and so forth.

The health practitioner will usually listen to the baby’s heart and measure and check your stomach as well.

During scans, you may also be able to listen to your baby’s heartbeat as well as see the growth of your little one inside your uterus. You may also discuss your birth plan during these appointments and ask for referrals for antenatal classes if you wish to attend these. Any issues you are having can be discussed and further investigation done if needed. Some issues can be alleviated slightly without resorting to medication and you can receive advise for this as well. Medication should not be taken during pregnancy, even over-the-counter medication without discussing it with your doctor or midwife first.

You will most likely have around 8 to 10 antenatal appointments during your pregnancy if it is your first pregnancy. Subsequent pregnancies usually require 7 to 9 visits provided there were no issues with the previous pregnancy. For complicated pregnancies, there may be a lot more visits to ensure the health of yourself and your little one. You can also may unscheduled appointments if there is anything that is bothering you during the pregnancy and you feel the need to have a check-up due to your concerns.

You can attend these visits on your own or with a partner, family member, birth coach or friend. This is especially important if you have someone that you want to be there to support you during the actual birth. This allows them to also have all the information they need to help make the birth go smoothly and within the structure of the birth plan you wanted.

To ensure the health and welfare of your baby and yourself during pregnancy, it is important that you do attend antenatal check-ups. This can often mean life or death in some cases where a complicated pregnancy is not monitored, or the baby presents in an unusual way during labour. The check-ups can pick up on risks early on and help a birth go a lot smoother.

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BOOK e

v

i

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w

s

by: Amy Adeney from Busy Bookworms

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MABEL AND THE MOUNTAIN

BY KI M HI LLYARD Introducing the marvel l ous M ab e l an adventurous fly who d r e am s of climbing mountains, m uc h t o t he disbelief of her f lying f r i e nd s. B ut instead of listening to t he v oi c e s of those who think she c an’ t d o i t , she listens only to the v oi c e i nsi d e herself, saying that she c an.

From exc it in g n ew p ic t u r e-b o o k ta l en t Kim Hilly a rd , t h is p osi ti v e p i c tu r e b ook will in sp ire rea d e r s to f o l l o w t h eir h ea rt s a n d fa c e n ew c h a l l en g es .

Ma b el will in sp ire, en g a g e a n d emp ower c h ild ren a ged 3 a n d u p .

NO ! NE V ER !

BY L I B B Y H AT H O R N & L ISA HAT H O RN - JA R MA N , A N D ME L P EA R C E Ge o r g i e i s a s w eet lit t le g ir l who a lw a y s m a k es h er p ar en t s h ap py... unt i l s h e d i s c o ver s o n e p o werf ul phr a s e : N o! Never ! It s u d d enly be c o m e s h er an s wer t o ev ery r e q u e s t , f r om t id yin g u p h er toys t o g oi n g t o bed . H er p a r en t s a r e at t hei r w i ts e nd , bu t w h a t h a p pens w he n th e y d ec id e t o t r y s a yin g No! Ne v e r ! t h e m selves ?

A lov e l y , l i v ely lo ok at the Terrib le T w o s ( o r T h r ees , or F ours , or F ives...) f ro m m o th e r -daughter team L i b b y H a th o r n a n d L is a H athorn-Jarm a n .

A g r e a t s p r i ngboard for dis cus s ion s a bo u t ta n t r u ms , defiant be haviou r or c o mm u n i ca t i on is s ue s , to re ad wit h c h il d r e n a g e d three and up.

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T H E H U M AN-K I ND SER IE S

BY ZANNI LOUI SE AND M I SSY TURNER Honesty and Persisten c e ar e t he first two titles in the n e w H um anKind Series, which of f e r s c hi l d r e n and their f amilies a f r am e wor k to talk about the shar e d b e l i e f s that underpin our l i v e s. Eac h book introduces and exp l or e s t he importance of a partic ul ar v al ue in everyday life, and gi v e s k i d s the language to talk ab out and understand them. The b ook s al so feature gorgeous vibrant ar t wor k , and provide fantastic inst r uc t i onal resources f or caregive r s f r om a child and adolescent psy c hol ogi st .

Ch ild ren a ged 6 a n d u p wi l l en j o y meet in g t h e d ifferen t c h a r a c ter s i n ea c h b ook, a n d will see t h e i r o wn l i v es reflec t ed in t h e c h a llen g es f a c ed b y ea c h c h ild on t h eir jou rn ey to wa r d s b ein g t h eir b est selv es..

THE PROUDEST BLUE

BY I B T I H A J M U H A MMA D WIT H S. K. A LI A N D H AT E M A LY I t ’ s F a i z a h ’s fir s t d ay o f s c h o o l, and he r ol d e r s i s t er As iya ’ s fir s t d ay of w e a r i n g h i j a b – ma d e o f a b ea u tiful blue f a b r i c l i ke t h e o c ean a n d the sk y. B u t n ot ever yo n e s ees h ijab a s b e a u t i f u l . In t h e fa c e o f h u r tf ul, co n f u s i n g w o r d s , w ill Faizah find ne w w a y s t o b e s t r o n g ?

T h is i s a n u p lifting, univers al s tory o f n e w e x p e r i ences , the unbre ak a b le b o n d s h a r e d by s iblings and of bein g p ro u d o f w h o you are, from Olym p ic f e n ci n g m e d a llis t Ibtihaj Muhamma d .

A po w e r f u l s t ory w ith an anti-bullyin g m e s s a g e w h i ch w ill he lp child ren ag e d 4 a n d u p to fe el proud of th eir o wn cu l t u r e , or to better unders tan d t ha t o f th e i r clas s mates .

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VBAC POSSIBILITIES AND RISKS

Written by Caroline Meyer

Many women opt to try for a vaginal birth after having had a caesarean and for around 70% of these women, the vaginal birth is successful. This does often have a lot to do with why the previous birth was done by caesarean section. A VBAC can be a bit more tricky and extra monitoring would be required, but it can be done safely in most cases. Just because your previous birth was a C-section, this does not mean that your next cannot be a vaginal birth. You can discuss with your doctor if you want to attempt a vaginal birth after having delivered via C-section with your previous pregnancy.

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In the past, C-sections were perfor med via a “classical incision”, which was a ver tical cup into the upper wall of the uter us. This caused weakening of the uter us and a strong likelihood of tears during labour. This led to doctors recommending that all bir ths after a C-section be done the same way to reduce the risk of the uter us tearing during labour.

Since 1950, almost all caesareans are done by an incision across the lower abdomen and into the lower section of the uter us. This is far less risky and has a reduced rate of complications should a vaginal bir th be attempted after having had a caesarean. Even if the exter nal cut is a ver tical one, the inter nal incision may be horizontal across the lower uter us and therefore pose lower risk. It is impor tant to understand the type of incision done into the uter us and also the reasons why a caesarean was required previously.

Some of the reasons a caesarean section may be required include: • Placenta Praevia: This is where the bir th canal is blocked by the placenta.

• Abnormal positioning: The baby may be presenting in a position which makes vaginal bir th diff icult or impossible such as feet f irst (footling breech) or across the uter us (transverse).

• Uterine Scar ring: Scar ring in the upper por tion of the uter us due to previous surger y can increase the risk of uterine tears during labour, making a C-section a safer alter native.

• Illness: Mother or baby are too unwell to undergo the stress of vaginal bir th and a C-section is the only alter native.

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• Baby in Distress: If labour is not progressing safely and baby is showing signs of distress, a C-section may be indicated as the less risky option.

• Baby position: A lack of progress due to baby being in an unusual position may not always require a caesarean, but one may be done in some cases.

• Baby too large: A nor mal baby would not often be too large to move down the bir th canal, but there are rare cases where this occurs and a C-section would be recommended.

• Mater nal anxiety: Some mothers will choose to have an elective caesarean due to anxiety or a belief that a C-section is safer. A previous stressf ul labour may make them feel that they are not able to have a successf ul vaginal bir th in the f uture.

A VBAC is usually f ine for most women who want to attempt it but it is contra-indicated in a few circumstances. These would include issues such as the baby lying transverse, placenta previa, previous upper uterine incisions or scar ring or previous vaginal bir th attempts which resulted in tearing of the uter us. Severe medical conditions or illness would also result in a VBAC being much riskier than a C-section. If labour is induced but the cer vix does not soften enough then a caesarean may also be recommended by your health practitioner.

Some of the benef its of VBAC include less likelihood of respirator y issues afterbir th and being able to cuddle and breastfeed your baby

shor tly after bir th. This improves the chances of successf ul breastfeeding. There is less recover y time and less pain from a vaginal bir th than a C-section and you are likely to spend a lot less time in hospital. Research shows a higher level of satisfaction after a vaginal bir th and the hor mone levels after bir th are a lot higher as well. Less chance of complications such as infection and bleeding as well as less risk in f uture pregnancies of ectopic pregnancies or placental problems. You can drive or pick up a toddler within a day or two of a vaginal bir th, whereas a C-section requires at least 4 to 6 weeks of recover y time.

The risks of VBAC include a slight risk of the previous C-section scar pulling apar t or r upturing during labour (less than 0.03%). Constant motoring is usually indicated so that this risk is mitigated.

If this or other problems arise, there is a risk of having to undergo an emergency C-section.

Fur ther more, there may be a call for instr umental assistance using a vacuum extraction method or forceps. This can result in an increases risk of developing incontinence. There is also a higher risk of an episiotomy in assisted bir ths.

It is impor tant to develop a good relationship with your care providers and discuss options with them for the bir th of your baby. W hile some women prefer to attempt a VBAC, it is equally valid to request an elective Caesarean. Ask your doctor or midwife what the risk factors are in your par ticular instance so you can make an infor med decision and mitigate risks to you and your unbor n child.

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BENEFITS AND HAZARDS OF ESSENTIAL OILS FOR CHILDREN Written by Caroline Meyer

Essential oils have been around for millennia and have gained popularity again within the mainstream during the last couple of decades. There is a ton of information and misinformation on the internet when it comes to the use of essential oils.

What Are Essential Oils?

Essential oils are compounds that have been extracted from potentially beneficial plants. These oils usually have a strong scent and contain higher levels of active ingredients than the plants they are extracted from.

Sometimes the extract is mixed with a carrier oil, and is then no longer considered to be a pure essential oil.

Essential oils are commonly used in the cosmetic and make up industry, as well as for aromatherapy.

Many people have started making use of essential oils for the benefits that have been highlighted. If you are considering using them for your children, here are some benefits and hazards you need to be aware of.

Benefits: Aromatherapy can be described as the use of essential oils to help you relax and lift your mood. If they are used carefully and correctly, some essential oils are known to help children sleep and feel calmer. Other essential oils can also be used to reduce nausea, discomfort and pain. Some clinical studies have proved that essential oils are effective in alleviating many symptoms.

Here are some of the most effective essential oils and 48

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what they can be used for: • Eucalyptus oil: disinfectant, nasal decongestant • Clove oil: toothaches • Tea Tree oil: antifungal, antibacterial, antiviral properties • Peppermint: digestive disorders • Lavender: anxiety, insomnia, restlessness • Chamomile: insomnia and restlessness If these oils are used in a diffuser or diluted and used in a topical, they could be beneficial in relieving children’s symptoms. However, there are still some risks that come with making use of these oils. It is important that you do research and consult a doctor before using essential oils with your little ones.

Hazards: • People have been led to believe that because essential oils are natural, they are safe to consume, but they are not. Consuming even the smallest amount of some essential oils can cause poisoning.

• Essential oils are very strong, using them without dilution on sensitive skin can cause irritation or burns.

In some cases, people can develop allergic reactions and rashes.

• Burning essential oils in a diffuser can induce an asthma attack for people who have asthma.

• Inhaling too much of the substance can cause headaches.

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How to React After Exposure: Ingestion: Rinse your mouth out immediately and call a hospital. Don’t induce vomiting or drink any liquids unless advised to do so by a medical advisor.

Eyes: Rinse the eyes under running water as quickly as possible. Let the water flow from the inner part of the eye, closest to the nose, and outwards. Do this for 15 minutes. If symptoms persist, seek medical attention.

Skin: Remove any clothing with the substance on it.

Clean the skin with soap and water. Contact your doctor if symptoms continue.

Inhalation: Leave the room contaminated with essential oils and get fresh air. Seek assistance from a doctor if symptoms do not settle.

Do’s and Don’ts When Using Essential Oils On Children • Do keep essential oils out of the reach of children.

Essential oils can be dangerous if not administered correctly. Do not let your children have access to the oils without supervision.

• Do consult a medical advisor. If you have questions about the safe usage of essential oils it is important that you contact an expert first.

• Do store in a cool, dry place without sunlight. This is necessary to ensure your essential oils are kept fresh and in good condition.

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• Do make sure your source is reliable. It is important to make sure you are purchasing quality products that haven’t been in contact with contaminants.

• Don’t let essential oils make contact with eyes, ears or the nose.

• Don’t use Peppermint oils on children less than 30 months old. Using it can increase the risk of seizures.

• Don’t use undiluted oils in your bath or directly on the skin. Rashes could be an outcome of using undiluted oils on your skin.

• Don’t swallow essential oils, they can be toxic.

How to Safely Apply Essential Oils You can use a diffuser, inhale it or apply it to the skin.

Keep in mind that if you use a diffuser, make sure it does not put others at risk. If you choose to use an aroma-stick, you will need cooperation from the child.

If you apply it to the skin, be wary of the dosage. Here are some recommended dosages to consider when making use of topicals: • 3 months- 24 months: 0.25-0.5% • 2-6 years: 1-2% • 6-15 years: 1.5-3% • over 15 years of age: 2.5-5% Essential oils can provide many benefits, provided they are used in moderation and correctly. Don’t replace medication with essential oils and consult your doctor before starting aromatherapy. If your child has any allergic reactions or symptoms after using essential oils, it is recommended that you stop usage immediately.

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through the eyes of a toddler Written By: Caroline Meyer

Imagine being able to see through the eyes of a toddler.

Actually, seeing things from their perspective can change the understanding of early childhood development substantially.

Being able to visualize and conceptualize like a little child may improve understanding about learning, language acquisition and the roles that teachers and parents currently have and what would need to change. Moving away from the model of adult observation, research from a child’s perspective is now possible.

A small camera on a toddler’s head can tell a story from their perspective in a way that previous observation never could. There is some concern that there is no informed consent on the part of the child in these types of observational studies, but similar techniques have been used in the past. It is not invasive and does no harm to the child in any way.

Taking note of what the child does and does not focus on and the length of time something can hold the child’s attention can be strategic. Children seem to focus for shorter periods on the things they already know, basically enough time to assess and move on and even to determine if it is currently within their developmental reach on a cognitive basis. They don’t focus for long on things that don’t allow them to develop and learn. These types of studies allow for children to be placed in a highly resourced area and to study their observations, which can be as many as 100 objects in an hour. Previous studies used a small number of items with a mother and child in the room, observed by researchers outside of the controlled space.

Using this technology, children’s viewpoints can be observed in a more comfortable setting. This is changing the concept of exploratory learning. While it may appear that toddlers are easily distracted, this could actually mean something else. Rapidly changing focus could mark a learning efficiency. This could help teachers and parents boost their development based on their explorations.

Using this type of technology, more insight can also be gained from the child’s interactions in the home. This will show their interaction with siblings, parents and friends. How much freedom they are given to explore and how their time is directed. This may also show language and patterns of play that would otherwise go unnoticed.

This type of insight can lead to new methods of teaching and providing learning opportunities to toddlers. Parents and teachers will be able to better support early childhood development with this knowledge. To date, the parental reporting may not always have been completely accurate. Observations done in a laboratory type setting may be a little more accurate but are tainted by the 54

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environment as well as having the researchers present. The new technology allows the toddler to “speak for themselves”.

The data gleaned from these studies using technology also allows for a greater and a more varied data sample. In the past, only a small number of children were observed and there was often little diversity. Now children from minority ethnic families, linguistic minorities, genders and backgrounds can be observed from an “equal” standpoint. More information can be gathered on the influences from extended families, community support, relationships with fathers as well as different child-rearing habits.

As devices become smaller, they also become less disruptive and obtrusive and “normal” behaviours should be discerned instead of generated responses under duress.

In the past, a lot of the research that was done did not take in to account the backgrounds, ethnicities, disadvantages and family make-up of the results that were being obtained. This led to insufficient data and a lack of understanding of minority groups. This could also lead to problematizing children from disadvantaged backgrounds. The new technology may help resolve the previous inadequacies in the research devoted to early childhood development. Are children from lower income groups exposed to fewer words than those of their peers from more advantaged households? Do they use more language at home than when they are at school or day care? These are just a few of the questions that could be answered by this form of observational technology.

In the past, many of the studies were focused on children from white families more than on children of other ethnicities. Many of the studies were based in the United States and Europe. This did not give an accurate account of toddlers in general. Studying children from a wider variety of backgrounds and ethnicities will give a much more thorough understanding and enable better optimization of early childhood development. Studies that are based only on evidence garnered from research in a Westernised society is not applicable universally. There may be many other alternative models that could be as effective or even more effective than the current studies show.

This type of observation could revolutionise how we see toddler development in the future. There may be many more models to work from to optimize their development during the early phases of childhood that will have far reaching effects for our little ones.

The audio-visual technologies available can also be used to check a child on an individual basis to be able to formulate programs to help them develop in a way that works best for them.

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INTERIORS

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Beech Wood Elephant Chair $351 smallable.com 62

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Bahar Stool $219.95 zanui.com.au

Totit Beige And Black Spotted Round Jute Rug $239 missamara.com.au

Crescent Moon & Star Pillow $39 each etsy.com/au

Giant White Polar Bear $91 ebay.com.au Seigaiha Linen Cot Quilt $149 templeandwebster.com.au MARCH 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #102

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Neutral Rainbow Wall Sticker $102 etsy.com/au Home Republic Natural 1 Drawer Bedside Table $269.99 adairs.com.au

Wall bookshelf $57 woodyoubuy.com.au

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Ostrich Feathers, 10 Pieces $36 etsy.com/au

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ENCOURAGING KIDS TO READ FOR FUN

Written by: Caroline Meyer

It is a well-known fact that people who read more have better analytic skills, can focus and concentrate better and are generally more knowledgeable than their peers that don’t. Teachers can get children to trudge through books at school, but this often has the opposite effect. They become bored and feel like reading is a punishment and not something they would do for fun. The aim is to get kids to read because they want to. As children get older, their penchant towards reading increases or decreases depending on whether or not they enjoyed reading when they were younger.

So, teaching a child to love reading from a young age will go a long way to encourage an enjoyment of reading throughout their lives.

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The home environment has to be conducive to developing a love of reading. It is critically important that parents are understanding and supportive. If one or both parents read regularly for fun, this also sets a good example for the little ones. Parents can have a nice environment set up for the children to read in or save reading for quiet time before bed every evening. It’s even better if a parent will sit and read with the child during the day, having them follow along and eventually allow the child to read to them. Bedtime stories should be in a relaxed environment but can be the highlight of the day for a curious youngster. Get books that run in a series, so the little ones can enjoy the anticipation of what happens next to the character in the book. You can even get them to tell you what they think is going to happen to work their imaginations before you read the next story.

Interactive books that can include the child’s name and include characters with familiar names such as the cat or dog’s name can also prove interesting and a favourite for little ones. You don’t always have to go out and buy expensive books for your little ones to enjoy.

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Books from 2nd hand stores and thrift shops are great for older kids or let them get books from the library. For the little ones, you can cut out pictures from magazines and use that to tell them stories. Avoid the chewie type books from sources unknown as they could be harbouring creepy crawlies. Change up stories as you go along as some kids will like one type of story, while others prefer something else. One might like a stay at home story while other kids might like an adventure. Try different types of genres to find ones that your kids love so that they really want to read the books. Include some fiction in with the non-fiction as kids do enjoy learning when they are younger. Finally, being able to identify all the fruits in the healthy eating book can bring a sense of accomplishment to your little one that can spur him on to becoming a reader for life.

Don’t forget the classics! Let your kids enjoy the books that inspired many children to become readers such as the Wind in the Willows and similar stories. As they get older, they can enjoy some of the heavier classics. Some children will enjoy reading Animal Farm for fun, while others may be delving into Shakespeare. Don’t hold 72

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them back. Besides topics that are perhaps far too mature for their years, don’t stop them from attempting books that may be a year or two above their current age recommendation.

Make sure the reading is moderated by play time and everything else that a growing child needs, but if they enjoy it, let them choose to read over watching TV or playing a video game during downtime if they want to. Encourage reading as much as possible and you are sure to have a child that loves to read. Reading leads to good vocabulary, more curiosity and greater general knowledge.

If they are struggling to read, check for medical conditions first and try and correct issues such as poor eyesight as this can cause them to hate reading as well. If this doesn’t resolve the issue, you can look at mental issues that can affect reading ability. Thereafter, show patience and keep at it. Try books on a slightly lower level or that are about things they really like and enjoy and let them work on expanding their mental horizons themselves as they go along. If you stimulate the reading bug in your child, you may find yourself unable to keep up eventually with their thirst for more.

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T O Y r e v i e w s

by: SHEREE HODDINETT MARCH 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #102

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VTECH FROZEN 2 MAGIC SECRET DIARY $45

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W e lcom e t o t h e wo r ld o f D is n ey’ s Frozen 2 ! With the Frozen 2 Magic S e c r e t Di ar y yo u c a n k e e p all o f yo u r s ec r et s locked away. By using the voice activ at e d l oc k i ng syst e m , y o u c a n c r eat e a s ec r et d iary without the worry of prying eyes. Pac k e d wi t h 1 9 a ct i v i ti e s t h er e’ s lo t s t o exp lo r e. Play through word games, f un number and m at hs g a m e s , l og i c a nd m emo r y g am es . ‘My Creativity’ features music, dance and shap e cr e a t i v i t y a c ti v it ies a ll wit h a Fr o zen theme. This cool diary also conta i ns a sup e r se cre t d r a w e r an d a s et t in g s m en u so you can set the clock, alarm and d at e s i n y our dia r y.

Our V e r d i ct – M y F roze n mad girls , wen t c ra z y ov er y et a n ot h er Froz en t h emed to y . Wi l l i t e ve r en d ? ! H o w can F roze n s till hold su c h p ower ov er a ll t h e lit t le girls, h a ha ! I th i n k th e d ra w ca r d w i t h any toys now is throwin g in t h e ed u c a t ion fa c t or wit h f u n a nd i t c er ta i n l y wo rks . M y e l d e s t daughter is at the p oin t n ow wh ere sh e is q u it e h a p p y t o l ea r n a n d I ’ l l t a ke th a t a s l o ng as I can! Plus s he d oes like b ein g a b le t o h a v e a f ew t h in g s s h e d o es n ’ t h a v e t o s h a r e s o a dairy lik e this on e is p erfec t for h er. N ot so su re h er y o u n g er s i s ter ag re e s . O n ce a g ain, the bigge s t is s ue I h a v e is t h ere a ren ’t t wo of t h em, a h h h th e j o y s o f h a v in g tw o g i r l s w ho both lik e F rozen !

Ava i l abl e F r o m : K MAR T

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VTECH RACE ALONG BEAR $20

4/5

I t ’ s t im e to r a ce w it h t h e Ra c e-along Bear. Press the bear’s head to wat c h t he r ac e ca r z oo m . T h e b ear p lays fu n r esponses, including short tunes, melodi e s, r ac e c ar so und s a n d m or e a s h e d r ives . T he f ront of the race car lights up whe n r e sp onse s a re p l a y i n g , w hils t t w o b u t t o n s o n the side of the race car trigger sing- a l ong songs, f un ph r a s e s a nd mo r e. T wis t in g t he race flag on the side of the car and p r e ssi ng t he but t o n s e n c o u ra g es m o t o r s kill d evelopment.

Our Ve r d i ct – T hey might be ge tting a lit t le b ig f or t h e b a b y t oy s b u t t h a t c ert a i n l y d o es n ’ t st o p m y g i r l s f r om trying them out a n d h a v in g a la u gh . “Wa t c h t h is” a n d “ i t’ s my tu r n ” c a n b e h e a r d a s they atte mpt to s ee wh a t t h is lit t le b ea r a n d h is c a r c a n d o ! Pl u s I d o n ’ t t hin k i t m a t te r s how old you are , pu sh in g b u t t on s on lit t le kid s t oy s is a lwa y s f u n , j u s t to se e w h a t th e y c an do. If you have a c a r ma d lit t le on e, t h is t oy is p erfec t . L o ts o f b r i g h t c o lo u r s , b u tto n s and w heels , as w e ll a s son gs a n d p h ra ses, y ou c a n ’t rea lly g o wr o n g !

Ava i l abl e F r o m : K MAR T

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APPRECIATING MOTHERS WRITTEN BY LANCE GREEN

Appreciate your own mother, but don’t forget the mother of your children.

Yes, she was your partner and your lover first, but she is also the person that you now share an adorable little creation or two. You and she both have another person to love who may or may not be of an age to say thanks for all that you do. She has gone through a massive change in her body for 9 months, suffered through late nights, early mornings, screaming, illness, frustration and everything that goes with having a baby. It’s true in 99% of cases that mum takes on the most when it comes to carrying, birthing and taking care of a newborn. As the children grow, dad usually takes on a larger role, but mum is always there to comfort and love, not just the kids, but dad as well.

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In general, mums do this with an open heart and aminimum of complaining. Take the time to show her just how much she means to you and how much you appreciate all that she does to make your house a home. You can do this for mum’s to be as well if you want to. You don’t really need a reason to show love to your partner.

Tell her you love her. This is one you shouldn’t restrict. Tell her every day, at least once a day.

Be a shoulder for her to lean on. Comfort her when she cries. Be patient if she gets moody.

Especially for new mums, there are bound to be adjustments as hormones balance and there may be lots of tears. Be supportive and strong and just let her know that you are there for her and that you can get through anything together.

Kisses and cuddles. There will be tons of kissing and cuddling with babies and kids, but don’t forget your partner. She deserves your affection. Give her plenty of affection and tell her how much you appreciate her.

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let her know that you think she is beautiful.

Even if she hasn’t slept well in days and her hair is in knots, let her know she is gorgeous to you, no matter what. Be sincere though.

You could offer to brush her hair if she looks like she’s heading for dreadlocks though.

Tidy up! Mum takes on a lot when there are small children and especially babies in the home. Help around the home as much as you can when you can. The least you could do is tidy up a bit and wash the dishes. Clean up after yourself and urge the kids to do the same if they are old enough. Mum would love to wake up to a sparkling home and have a day with more relaxation and less laundry.

You can make it happen!

You can do something extra special such as a home cooked meal, some nice flowers or a potted plant. Taking some of the load off her and taking the time out to make her feel special is not much effort and it doesn’t cost a thing. You can then rope the little ones into making some arts and crafts posters, hand painting or something fun to distract them for a while so mum can finally enjoy a bath in peace!

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LACK OF COMMUNICATION CAN RUIN A RELATIONSHIP written by: Caroline Meyer

A big problem in many relationships is bad communication, or the complete lack thereof.

It’s very important that people are given time to express their emotions in a relationship, if they aren’t able to, a healthy relationship can go downhill fast. Lack of communication is one of the most common issues in relationships and ultimately leads to the couple splitting up. This article will highlight what a lack of communication looks like, the effect it has on your relationship and ways to fix communication problems. But first, why is communication important?

People tend to have a need to belong and to connect with others. Positive interactions, whether it be verbal or non-verbal, help increase our wellbeing. In a relationship, communication is key to ensure growth and overall health of both partners.

Expressing emotions can be hard at times but is essential to maintain a positive relationship.

Signs That Your Relationship Is Lacking Communication Usually you will be able to tell when a lack of communication starts to affect your relationship.

Here are some signs to look out for: • Defensiveness; • Passive aggression; • Inability to compromise; • Being inconsiderate about each other’s emotions during an argument; • Failing to connect with each other; 90

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• Many unresolved arguments; • Criticizing each other; • Giving/ receiving less attention.

A lack of communication usually forms from a deeper problem within the relationship. When these signs start showing it’s best to seek professional help or confront your partner if possible. Some ideas on how to resolve the lack of communication issue will be given further on in this article and may prove useful.

How Does A Lack Of Communication Effect Your Relationship?

Being unable to communicate properly may destroy a relationship. The lack of communication will hinder the growth of the relationship. The effects include: • An increase in conflict and argumentative behavior. Individuals may start doing things purposely to get on each other’s nerves, blaming each other for everything and not complying to rules or requests. Ultimately this leads to ongoing arguments that cannot be solved without better communication.

• Misunderstandings. People who are in a relationship that lacks communication may have difficulty understanding each other. This causes confusion and misinterpretation.

• Loneliness. When people feel as though they are unable to talk to their significant other about their emotions, it causes them to feel alone.

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This feeling tends to make the person distance themselves and seek understanding elsewhere.

• A negative perspective of your partner. You may begin to see all the bad sides of your partner.

When there is little communication, it is easy to read into everything a little too much. It may become harder to see the positive sides to your relationship and this builds a barrier between two people.

• Being unable to set and reach goals. The emotional stress may cause people in a relationship to feel unmotivated. It may be difficult to set individual and relationship goals.

The relationship will suffer without growth and cause them to grow apart.

• Less intimacy and connection. Often people who don’t communicate begin to neglect other aspects of the relationship as well. This could leave the partners feeling unwanted and unhappy.

How To Solve Communication Problems Firstly, you should try improving your general communication skills. Consider your body language, be honest, find the right time and do it face to face. Once you have these skills mastered, it may be necessary to look deeper into what could be causing the problem.

• Look for meta-emotion mismatch: This is when people may feel differently about feelings. One person may think it is important to express emotions in order for the relationship to stay 92

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healthy whereas the other may think it is unnecessary. It may be difficult for couples to communicate if they have meta-emotion mismatch, but it is still important to try and explore how both of you feel about emotions.

From this point, you can decide how to effectively communicate. It could entail that you need to compromise and in some conversations dive into emotions whereas in others skip straight to a logical solution and leave emotions aside.

• Address previous problems that haven’t been solved: An event in the past may have had a negative effect on the relationship. If this problem has not been resolved it could be the cause of the lack of communication. In order to move forward in the relationship, you may be required to look back and find a solution to an existing or past issue before moving forward. It is important to find out why your partner is not communicating with you or vice versa • Consult a professional. If you and your partner are not able to resolve the issue between the two of you, you might want to take the next step and attend counselling or consult a professional to help you work through the communication block.

All relationships need to have a good level of communication. This is the only way you can work towards resolving issues in your relationship and be able to build and make your bond stronger.

Don’t be afraid to reach out or to ask for help if you are unable to resolve it between you.

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Vote For Favourite Baby Forumula

GROWING UP IS HARD TO DO! WRITTEN BY: SHEREE HODDINETT

Why do they have to grow up so quickly? My big girl keeps asking to sit on my lap. It’s a struggle because she’s getting taller (and heavier) but even as I write this I don’t know if it’ll be the last time she asks to do it. My baby girl (not so much a baby at 4) still asks me to pick her up. She’s also getting heavier and it’s a struggle but one day it’ll be the last time she asks and I won’t know (insert a few tears here). There will be a last time for everything and you may not know until it’s happened.

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• The last time you will rollercoaster of parenting. breastfeed or bottle Milk-fed (whether it’s breast feed your baby. or bottle, it doesn’t matter • The last time they will how you choose to do it) comes with its own mess nap during the day. and “fun” and then you • The last time they move into the challenging will ask you to open world of dealing with solid something for them or food, where it potentially help feed them. becomes a projectile and • The last time you will could land anywhere on you or near you! These have baby cuddles. days it’s about trying to • The last time they will get them to either actually ask for you to pick them eat or not eat so much. up or even hold their Ahhhhh, good times, haha! hand.

• The last time they ask you to sit down with If there’s anything I hope doesn’t change it’s the them. adorable attitude I get all • The last time they call the time. I’m kidding of you mummy before it course! Adorable barely becomes just mum. registers on my girls’ radar anymore, except maybe when they sleep. The As each stage passes by peaceful quiet time of day I realise there are little where I can enjoy some things that no longer chocolate without having happen and I can’t even to share. We’re definitely remember when they full of attitude alright, but stopped, so it might not adorable is the last word I’d entirely be bad. But it’s the used to describe it. Except bigger things that seem to when they really want have more of an impact, something and they really hitting you right in the turn on the sweetness feels. then! It’s funny though, that no matter how much they drive you crazy, how I have days where I cry often they change on you a little because things and continue to grow up are over and then other despite you willing it all to days where I’m extremely slow down, becoming and grateful there are some being a parent will likely things I will never have to still be the best thing that deal with again, nappies you will ever do. Maybe is definitely one, haha! It winning lotto might rate feels like you go from one pretty highly as well…. extreme to another in the

or not, haha! I know I complain a lot about the way they behave these days but I already worry about the day they may not need their mummy so much anymore…plenty of crappy times still ahead of me yet, right?!

On a side note, it’s May and with one day specially devoted to celebrate mothers and all they do, I thought I’d better give it a mention. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mums in every form out there, but especially to my awesome, amazing and very beautiful mum. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her or her influence. She is my rock when I feel like I’m failing and flailing and the best person to turn to when I need some advice.

Thank you mum for always being there!

This is just one chapter in the glorious tale that is my parenting ride. If you’d like to read a bit more, head on over to my blog: www.shereekim.com, you never know what you might find. Until next time…remember it’s okay to cry, scream and yell and if you need to, take some time for yourself, you’ll be an even better mum and person for it in the long run.

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UNDER $16 bestandless.com.au BABY Baby Organic Cotton Set $16.00 Baby Slipper $10.00

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CABLE-KNIT DRESS $69.95

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recipes sourced from: healthier.qld.gov.au MARCH 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #102

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Delicious

Raisin Toast With Fruity Ricotta Topping INSTRUCTIONS 1

toast the slices of fruit bread.

2

mix ricotta with cinnamon and honey or jam in a small bowl.

3

spread toast with ricotta mixture.

4

layer banana and strawberries on top of toast and serve.

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prep time: 5 mins cook time: 1 mins serves: 2 INGREDIENTS 4 slices raisin or fruit bread ½ cup smooth low-fat 1/2 cup ricotta cheese honey or strawberry jam 2 tsp (optional) 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon 1 lrg banana, sliced 125g strawberries, 125g hulled and sliced

Quick & Easy

Mango Delight Toast Topper

prep time: 5 mins serves: 1

INSTRUCTIONS

INGREDIENTS wholegrain bread, 1 slice toasted low-fat natural or Greek 1 tbsp yoghurt mango, peeled and 1/4 sliced

1

Spread yoghurt on cooled toast.

2

Top with mango slices and serve immediately.

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Pesto Chicken Wrap prep & cook time: 5 mins serves: 1

INSTRUCTIONS 1

Spread pesto down the centre of the wrap.

2

Layer ingredients, fold the wrap over and roll up.

INGREDIENTS wholemeal or wholegrain 1 wrap bread 1-2 tsp basil pesto cooked or BBQ chicken 90g breast Lebanese cucumber, 1/4 med thinly sliced 1/4 cup alfalfa sprouts red capsicum, thinly 1/4 med sliced lemon juice ground black pepper chopped chives, extra, to serve finely diced red chilli, extra, to serve

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Fluffy Spinach And Mushroom Omelette prep & cook time: 15 mins serves: 4

INSTRUCTIONS 1

Place the egg yolks in a medium bowl. Add the milk and mix well.

2

In a separate bowl, whisk the egg whites until soft meringue-like peaks are formed. Gently fold egg whites into the egg yolk mixture and set aside.

3

Lightly oil non-stick frying pan and place over medium heat. Add mushrooms and cook on medium heat for 3 minutes until softened.

4

Add baby spinach and cook for a further minute until wilted. Remove from pan and wipe pan clean.

5

Lightly oil pan again and return to medium heat. Pour in the egg mixture and cook for 2-3 minutes or until surface is nearly firm. Sprinkle the cheese, mushrooms, spinach, chives and pepper over half the omelette, then fold over the other side to enclose the filling.

INGREDIENTS eggs, yolks and 2 whites separated 1 tbsp low-fat milk olive or canola oil button mushrooms, 4 sliced 1/2 cup baby spinach leaves 1 tablespoon grated 1tbsp reduced-fat cheddar cheese 1 tablespoon chopped 1 tbsp chives freshly ground or cracked black pepper, to taste

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Quick Chicken Pizza

prep time: 10 mins cook time: 10 mins serves: 2

INSTRUCTIONS

INGREDIENTS 1 thin 23cm pizza base 1 med (dinner plate size) 2 tablespoons no-added1 salt tomato paste 1 cup (30g) baby spinach 1 tbsp leaves ½ large red onion, finely 1 1/2 cup chopped 100g cooked or BBQ 1/2 cup chicken breast, thinly sliced ½ small red capsicum, 6 cups seeded and diced 6 large cherry tomatoes 60g halved ½ cup grated reduced-fat 6 mozzarella cheese 6 basil leaves, to serve 1 spring onion, chopped

1

Preheat oven to 220ºC (200ºC fan-forced).

2

Spread tomato paste evenly over pizza base. Top with spinach leaves, sliced onion, chicken, capsicum strips and cherry tomatoes. Sprinkle with cheese and place on a baking tray, pizza stone or wire rack.

3

Bake for 5 minutes until cheese is melted then cover with foil to prevent burning. Bake for a further 5 minutes until base is crisp.

4

Sprinkle with roughly torn basil leaves on top to serve.

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Zucchini and Sweet Corn Soup INSTRUCTIONS 1

Place zucchini and stock in a large pot and bring to the boil.

2

Simmer over gentle heat for 10 minutes or until zucchini is tender.

3

Remove from heat, puree in a blender until smooth.

4

Stir through creamed corn and milk

prep time: 10 mins cook time: 10 mins serves: 4 INGREDIENTS 2 med zucchinis, chopped 4 cups vegetable or chicken stock* 1 can creamed corn 1/2 cup low-fat evaporated milk

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Outback Apple Crumble prep time: 5 mins cook time: 20 mins serves: 6 INSTRUCTIONS 1

Preheat oven to 180ยบC.

2

In a large bowl, mix wheat biscuits, flour, sugar and cinnamon.

3

Mix margarine and milk together and add to dry ingredients.

Stir to form crumbly texture.

4

Spread apple over the base of a greased baking dish.

5

Sprinkle crumble over the apple and bake for 20 minutes until golden brown.

6

Allow to cool

INGREDIENTS wheatmeal cereal 2 biscuits, crushed wholemeal self1 cup raising flour 1/2 cup 1/2 cup brown sugar 1 tsp ground cinnamon monounsaturated 3 tbsp margarine, melted 1 tbsp reduced-fat milk can unsweetened 800g apples

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Apricot Strudel prep time: 15 mins cook time: 25 mins serves: 6

INSTRUCTIONS 1

Preheat oven to 200 °C.

2

Combine apricots, honey, cinnamon and dates in a small bowl.

3

Lightly spray pastry with oil.

4

Lay pastry sheets on top of each other then spoon apricot mixture along the centre length.

5

Fold pastry to encase the apricot mixture, tucking neatly into a roll.

6

Spray top with oil and sprinkle with almond flakes.

7

Bake for 20–25 minutes until golden brown and crispy.

INGREDIENTS 800g 1 tbsp 1 tsp 1/2 cup 4 sheets

can apricots, drained honey cinnamon dates, chopped filo pastry (27cm x 47cm) Olive or canola oil spray 2 tbsp almonds, flaked

Tip: Always choose fruit canned in ‘natural’ juice or pie apples as these do not have ‘added sugar’.

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