My Child Magazine Issue 123 December 2021 by My Child Magazine

MAGAZINE.COM.AU

ISSUE 123 - DECEMBER 2021

christmas

EDITOR IN CHIEF

Bianca Medina ART DIRECTOR

Bianca Medina DEPUTY EDITOR

Feba Maryann CONTRIBUTORS

Sheree Hoddinett Amy Adeney Lance Green Liza John Cottonbro Anastasia Shuraeva Koolshooters Yan Krukov EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA BARBARA RIBEIRO Sora Shimazaki Ron Lach Taryn Elliott Markus Spiske Ron Lach Olya Kobruseva CONTACT

My Child Magazine Newcastle NSW Australia +614 11 572 877 editorial@mychildmagazine.com.au

Contents 6

CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS

WHY IT’S IMPORTANT FOR THE KIDS

HOW TO AVOID GIVING YOUR CHILD

ON A BUDGET AND MANAGING YOUR

TO BELIEVE IN SANTA

NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE ISSUES?

KID’S EXPECTATIONS

GET THE LOOK INTERIORS

DAD READ - SUPPORTING A

PARTNER WHO IS STRUGGLING

12 HOW TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS DURING THE PANDEMIC

THROUGH A BURNOUT

WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR BODY AFTER BIRTH?

HOW TO KEEP YOUR BABY SAFE FROM CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS

WHY AREN’T I READY FOR SEX AFTER HAVING A BABY?

102

TIPS TO DESIGNING A BABY FRIENDLY BACKYARD

WAYS TO CONNECT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY VIRTUALLY DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON

BLOGGER -CHANNELLING MY FESTIVE SPIRIT

106

CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDE

BOOK REVIEWS

FASHION

116

WHAT ARE THE WARNING SIGNS

THAT YOU ARE A CODEPENDENT PARENT?

DAUGHTER FEATURE

WHY IT’S IMPORTANT FOR THE KIDS

130

TO BELIEVE IN SANTA

RECIPES

144

MY CHILD DIRECTORY

DISCLAIMER: It My Child Magazine and mychildmagazine.com.au are wholly owned by My Child Magazine (ABN 79 167 787 662). No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in the company or in My Child or mychildmagazine.com.au. My Child contains general information only and does not purport to be a substitute for health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. Reproduction of any material without written permission by the publisher is strictly forbidden. We cannot accept responsibility for material lost or damaged in the post or for any unsolicited manuscripts and photographs. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.

Bianca Medina editor-in-chief Editor’s Letter Hello Mamma’s and Papa’s, Yep, it’s here, the silly season is upon us! I cannot believe that we are already at the end of 2021! This year (as did last) has gone by in record time, it really must be a pandemic thing! Now as I reflect on this year and give thanks to the universe to the lessons I learned, the first thing that I’m always thankful for is my little angel and the lessons she teaches me daily. Max and I were 100% paired together by the universe to enjoy this crazy journey in life in each other’s company with laughter, some tears but most importantly, pure unconditional love and that I will never doubt! My darling daughter is the light of my life, and this year she has shown not just me, but her emerging world, what is truly an exceptional human she is becoming! Just like many parents in 2020, we also came out the other end a little rougher than expected. 2021 has been better, we had an idea of what to expect with lockdowns, home schooling, social isolating etc, however on top of that, we also decided to relocate from Sydney to Newcastle and well, that didn’t honestly go as smoothly as planned! Throughout these challenges, Max has shown me that she has a level resilience I did not expected in someone so young! Max has been so adaptive to these ever-changing situations, and I am so proud of how she not only survived but thrived in 2021. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually, my daughter grew and as the year comes to an end, I appreciate and acknowledge all the milestones she’s hit out of the park! Thank you, universe for allowing me to guide this little spirit in her journey of life. Now goodbye 2021 and May 2022 bring back balance and calm! Well, until Next Issue,

Bianca oxo

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CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS ON A BUDGET AND MANAGING YOUR KID’S EXPECTATIONS written by: Liza John

Christmas is right around the corner and the joy of giving is in the air. If you are not someone who leaves their Christmas shopping for the last minute, it is the right time to get started with the task before other holidayrelated obligations take over your mind. While the adults are curating a careful list of Christmas shopping in their minds, the children are probably fantasizing about the flashiest toy or the latest gadget they are going to ask Santa this year. As much as putting a satisfied smile on their face brightens your holiday, racking up debt worth thousands of dollars is not worth it. There is a real-high chance that the present they beg for will be left forgotten in a corner by February. Thus, you don’t need to be a part of the sample population indicating the rise in debt during the holidays. Be smart and start budgeting your holiday shopping already. Basics Of Budgeting Studies show that most people bring up their credit debt during the holiday season despite strict budgeting. To prevent the expenses from spilling over the limits, set a few checkpoints for yourself. Before you add that item to your cart, ask yourself whether the recipient really needs the gift, is it a practical gift (both in terms of your

DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

budget and its use), how long will you take to pay off the credit and also calculate if making the purchase will make a bigger dent in your set budget than planned. It may seem rather Scrooge-like when you do these steps but remember that it is not the material value of the gift that counts. If you cannot find a suitable gift under the price limit for someone on your list, get creative and try thrifting or DIY. If your kids are really young, they probably might not remember the exact gift they received a few years down the lane. Or if the kids believe that Santa can bring them a new iPad, you can build a better tale on how Santa has a deal with the parents regarding gift-giving. Managing Your Kid’s Expectations The Straightforward Approach Cut to the chase, sit your children down and explain how expensive holidays can get sometimes. Most of the time, children above the age of three can get a solid understanding of their family’s financial scenario. Once you describe how much stress debt puts on you, your child can tone down their expectations for the season.

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Don’t worry about spoiling the festivities for them though, you can always have an exciting day with the family while camping, hiking, or at a carnival to make up for it. Foundations Of Accounting What’s a better way to teach your children a little money management than with Christmas shopping! Let your kids know that they have an upper limit on the spending amount, say $50. Help them plan the gifts they need so that all the items come under the set limit. Apart from making your child’s grey cells active with the maths, this also teaches the kids to learn to prioritise their needs. Working For a Goal Hard work is a skill you can teach in the most fun way. If your child is a pre-teen or an adolescent and their demands are reasonable yet expensive, here’s a way to help them. Explain to them that you will provide a portion of the item’s price and the rest is up to your child to earn. Encourage them to get a part-time job or pay them for the chores they do around the house. There are many opportunities for children to earn a buck or two, such as babysitting, lawn mowing, clearing

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driveways and so much more. Now, your child can proudly claim that they had a hand in buying their own gift. Christmas Joy Does Not Come from A Store Sometimes, families cannot afford to put gifts under the tree like the convention. But that’s okay because you can still make the day memorable. Instead of spending the Christmas morning unwrapping gifts, maybe have a heart breakfast with the family or bake a cake together. Visiting the less fortunate and sharing what little you have is another way to spread the joy of Christmas. At the end of the day, that can be the lesson that your children take home, after all, gift-giving on Christmas was to show generosity and love before it became a highly commercialised holiday. Final Thoughts The Magi came to meet the infant Jesus bearing wise gifts to show their reverence and generosity. Holding up this tradition, teach your children that Christmas gifts do not have to be something that comes in a big box. It is always the thought and the emotions behind the gift that counts.

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HOW TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS DURING THE PANDEMIC Written By: Liza John

The aroma of freshly baked gingerbread, the excitement around gifts, the green and red Christmas wreaths hanging on doors, Santa figures and the joy of getting together with our extended family; these holiday traditions are what we associate with a typical Christmas. However, we are still fighting a global pandemic that has left many families shattered. While vaccines and reduced restrictions have let us breathe a sigh of relief, we can’t yet lower our guards. But then again, this doesn’t mean that one must be responsible and avoid celebrations and festivities entirely. You can enjoy your holiday traditions and stay safe by sticking to a few safety guidelines. Let us take a look at some general safety precautions as recommended by health experts and government health institutions. General Safety Measures • The number one priority must be to get eligible family members vaccinated first. During your festivities, members of various age groups interact with each other. Getting eligible people vaccinated keeps the younger ones safe. • Wear masks: The importance of wearing masks cannot be stressed enough. Even those who are fully vaccinated are recommended to wear masks. Wear the mask over the nose and mouth, covering the chin as well. You can even get Christmas themed masks for your household.

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• Outdoors are better than indoors: This holiday season avoid gathering in poorly ventilated indoor spaces, rather go outdoors. • Feeling sick: If you are feeling sick or someone from your household is sick, avoid hosting or going to gatherings. Get tested for Covid-19. Celebrating The Season

“You can enjoy your holiday traditions and stay safe by sticking to a few safety guidelines.”

After 2020, if you’re still unsure on how to celebrate your Christmas, you’ve been doing it all wrong. But we got you covered, here are some ideas on how you can welcome Santa this Christmas. Decorate ‘Tis the season, and the Christmas spirit does not depend on whether someone is going to visit you or not. The tall Christmas trees, the Christmas wreaths hung outside the doors, the ribbons, dazzling lights, and the figurines will get your household in the Christmas spirit. Joy and excitement will fill

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the atmosphere, and you’ll be prepared to welcome Santa and his reindeer. Don’t forget the cookies and milk for Santa *wink wink*. Shop Online Do your shopping online rather than queuing up at crowded mall stores. You can literally get anything under the sun from online stores from the safety of our homes. Besides, with festivities come festival discounts. This holiday, save your money and stay safe by shopping online. But be sure to plan and order gifts beforehand so that the products don’t go out of stock. Virtual Christmas Gatherings If the spread rate is high in your community or if it’s difficult for you to host a gathering, go online. Video conferencing and online activities are the new normal for connecting with your family and friends during the pandemic. Plan out the activities and arrange some family games like Dumb Charades, Bingo, and karaoke or watch movies together via streaming platforms. There are numerous ways to engage your family virtually and share the joy of Christmas. Cook A Festive Meal Prepare that one meal that the household goes crazy for. Encourage your family members, including young ones, to help you with the cooking. This 16

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way you’ll be able to bond as a family and have a fun time. Bake gingerbread cookies and build a gingerbread house to keep the young ones engaged, so that you don’t have to be stressed about keeping them safe. Share The Joy Unemployment, health issues, and losing loved ones, the pandemic has caused agony to many. Christmas is about joy, kindness and smiles, so this Christmas let us try to put some smiles on the underprivileged. Visit an orphanage and drop off some food or give some to charity. Remember that love only grows by sharing. Planning Small Gatherings If the virus spread in your community is low, then small in-person gatherings are an option to celebrate with your family and friends. But remember to keep the headcounts as limited as possible, and ask your guests to refrain from attending if they have Covid-19 symptoms. Keep the general safety measures in mind and stick to Covid-19 protocols in your area. Final Thoughts The pandemic has been tough for all of us, a return to normal is perhaps still long away. But we can try to get accustomed to this new normal. This Christmas, let us be responsible and celebrate our joy, hope and happiness while staying safe. Merry Christmas. DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

HOW TO KEEP YOUR BABY SAFE FROM CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS written by: Liza John

When the Christmas season arrives, excitement flows through the air. Putting up Christmas trees, decorating homes with lights, baking, and creating memorable moments are all part of the Christmas spirit. ‘Tis the season and things are about to get busy but add to that keeping your tiny elves from wreaking havoc by ruining the decor and risking their own health. It comes as no surprise that the safety of your baby should be the #1 priority this holiday season. Wondering how to keep your baby safe? Let’s find out. Install Baby Gates Baby gates act as a barrier between children and the Christmas tree or decor and help avoid children from touching the Christmas tree. You can also use them to place around the things which you do not want the baby to touch. Go For Unbreakable Christmas Decorations Decoration items made of glass may break accidentally and will hurt the baby. So to avoid

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those kinds of issues, select unbreakable items such as things made of plastic or rubber. Even if the kids throw them or hit them to the floor, nothing happens. Use Soft Ribbons Most of the time, to hang the decoration items to the Christmas tree, we use wired hangers or sharp metallic objects. Instead, use soft ribbons to hand the decorative items. These do not cause any harm even if the baby touches it. Adorn With Bells Hang bells to the lower side of the Christmas tree. In the event that your toddler touches the tree, the bells will help you notice that the baby is around the Christmas tree. This makeshift alert system, although crude, will be effective to a large extent. Avoid Using Tinsel Most of us use tinsel in decoration for extra sparkle. Tinsel poses a serious choking hazard to your tiny elves. So, it’d be a wiser choice to cut down on the sparkle. Besides, tinsel is not a very eco-friendly

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product and is mostly made up of plastic. The Lights We use plenty of lights during Christmas. So, you need to make sure that all the connections are working well. You should put all the plugs out of reach of children. If you are planning to use candles for lighting, then keep the children away from the candles and extinguish them as soon as you are done using them. Maintain Proper Placement It is important to choose the right place to place the Christmas tree and other decor. Choose a place where the toddler cannot reach. If you want to place the tree on any elevation like a table or a cupboard, make sure that the tree does not fall down when pushed over. The same goes for other decorations like Christmas Wreaths, hang them well above your child’s reach. Similarly, placing all the gifts under the Christmas tree on the big day is not recommendable. Toddlers are attracted to the big boxes wrapped in colourful papers. Kids being kids, they may crawl towards them and tear them open, or worse yet ruin your 22

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tree. So, place the gifts out of reach of children. Skip The Tree Christmas Trees are a matter of life and death when it comes to Christmas decorations in many households. But they also pose real dangers to the young ones. Now this may not be a very popular opinion, but it is okay to skip the tree. Hear us out! Firstly, this takes away a lot of stress from parents who are much worried about their child’s safety. Your child is still young and has a lot of new things to learn about Christmas, so skipping the tree one or two times is totally fine. Final Thoughts Another way to avoid children from going towards the Christmas decorations is to create distractions. Involve them in fun activities and keep their minds busy. If your baby is old enough, you can even bribe them to stay away from the decor. Use the oldest trick in the book, SANTA! Tell your kid that Santa doesn’t like homes with broken decor and wouldn’t drop any gifts if the decor is ruined. Happy Holidays and stay safe.

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WAYS TO CONNECT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY VIRTUALLY DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON WRITEN BY: FEBA MARYANN

The holiday season is fast approaching, and it is time for family, fun, and food. However, if the aftermath of the pandemic is still keeping you away from your friends and family, don’t be disappointed. There is technology at your fingertips that can connect you to your dear ones who are miles apart. After 2020 and 2021, if you still believe that you cannot have fun virtually, you have been doing it wrong. There is no way that you will still be missing out on the nuances of the family holiday party. If anything, you get a bonus of quick exit if the family tries to be nosy. Jokes aside, seeing the holiday cheer around you can make you miss your loved ones majorly. If all the virtual meetings and classes have got to you, you can still try to spice up the virtual family gettogethers with the ideas given below. Watch Christmas Classics Together Watching a Christmas movie together is a tradition in almost every family and friend group. Even if it is not, you can start now. Get everyone to set aside a night and to pick their favourite Christmas movie. Find your cosiest pyjamas, some treats, a warm blanket, and press play. Most streaming platforms offer an option to host viewing parties for just this purpose. From Home Alone to How the Grinch stole Christmas, take a walk down the memory lane with your favourites. Cook A Meal For most of us, baked goods and roasts might be the best part of the holiday. Be it a Christmas breakfast or Hanukkah dinner, every family has a tradition of enjoying a meal together to celebrate the season’s festivities. Don’t let anything break that tradition this time, either. Collect the recipes of your family recipes, share them with everyone, and get cooking together. Share the memories of the holidays past while you are cooking and once the food is ready, sit down and share the meal virtually. This way, you can spend an entire day with your family virtually and still have fun. Learn A New Skill Once the lockdown had taken over our lives, many artists and 26

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experts took to the digital world to impart their knowledge. If there is a knitting class that you said you would take with your sister or a dance lesson that you had planned for just your mum and you, this is the time to seize the opportunity. Sign up for the classes that you have been putting aside for years and get to it with your family. That’s some quality time and a new skill that you can get by the end of the holiday. Game Night! This is an old idea, but nothing ever beats game night. Have a night of competitive Pictionary or Bingo. There are many apps that support a wide range of games and numerous players. Kahoot and House party are a few popular services to name. Explore your options with your family and friends and waste no time worrying about missing game night this year. Decorate The House Bringing out the holiday decorations each year and decking the house is always a core holiday memory. Again, don’t break the traditions this time around but do it differently. Get your family on a video call and decorate your living spaces at the same time. This form of parallel socialisation can be interesting, and you may even get better insights on how to decorate. Karaoke Most of us may not know, but you can have Karaoke night even if all the participants are not in the same room. Find a karaoke version of your favourite holiday songs on YouTube or any other platform that you prefer. Share it with your family and enjoy the off-key singing that comes with family get-togethers. Final Thoughts The holidays make it difficult to be with family and it also makes it equally difficult to be without them. However, there is no reason why you should hold back from spending some quality time with your loved ones this season, even if you can’t be physically present. Make use of all the technology at your disposal and enjoy the season’s festivities. DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

BOOK e

by: Amy Adeney from Busy Bookworms

T H E AB C K I D S G U I DE TO LOV I N G T H E PL AN E T BY JACLYN CRUPI & CHERYL O RSI N I Our planet is precious. It’s where we live, learn, work and p l ay . The planet is in your hands — c ar e f or i t gently and f ight for its future. Love the planet! Th is c h a rmin g p ic t u re b ook i s a g en tl e in t rod u c t ion t o c a rin g f or t h e w o r l d a r o u n d u s. Th e simp le, en ga gin g t ext an d b ea u ti f u l illu st ra t ion s exp lore id ea s l i k e p l a n ti n g v eggie ga rd en s a n d rec y c lin g, to s h o w th e wa y s t h a t ev ery p erson , n o matter h o w b i g or sma ll, c a n ma ke a d if f eren c e. T h i s i s a p erfec t b ook t o in sp ire y ou n g r ea d er s a g ed t h ree a n d u p t o lov e t h e p la n et.

I T F ELL F R OM TH E SKY BY T HE FA N BR O T H E R S I t f e ll f r o m t h e s ky o n a T h u r s d a y. None of t he i n s e c t s k n o w wh er e it c am e from, or w ha t i t i s . S o me s a y it ’ s a n eg g . Others, a g um d r op . B u t wh at ever it is , it fell near Sp ide r’ s h ou s e , s o h e’ s c o n vin c ed it belongs to him. S p i d e r b u ild s a wo n d er o u s display so t ha t i n s e c ts f r o m fa r an d w id e c an come to lo o k a t t h e ma r vel. S o wh at if he has to cha r g e a s m a l l fee? S o w h a t if t he lines are lo n g ? B u t a s S p id er r a is es t h e prices, in se ct s s to p s h o win g u p . An d t h en, all of a sudde n , a n u n exp ec t ed d is as t er hits and the ma r v e l d i s a pp ear s ! T h is c h a r m i n g s t ory tack le s importan t life lesso ns a b o u t g r eed and the importan c e of sha ring . T h i s i s a w hims ical and elega n t ly illust rat e d p i ct u re book about comm u n it y , ar t , a nd t h e i m p ortance of giving ba c k, a n d is a be a u ti f u l ch oice to s hare w ith rea d ers age d f ou r a n d u p .

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B O S S L AD I E S O F SPO R T BY PHI LLI P MARSDEN Boss ladies unite in this c e l e b r at i on of inspiring and empowered fe m al e at hl e t e s from around the world. Fro m A ust r al i an legends Sam Kerr, Ash Bart y and A r i ar ne Titmus to international su p e r st ar s l i k e Ruby Tui, Simone Biles, Nao m i O sak a and the Williams sisters, these b oss l ad i e s ar e at the top of their games, bot h on and of f the field. Ev ery b oss la d y wa s on c e a l i ttl e k i d wi th a h u ge d rea m. Th eir t ria ls a n d tr i u m p h s will in sp ire sp ort y kid s a ged f o u r a n d u p to work h a rd a t wh a t t h ey lov e, a n d to b el i ev e in t h emselv es, n o ma t t er wh e th er th ey wi n or lose.

BIG LOVE BY M E G A N JA C O B S O N & B E C K F E INER T his is t h e h ou s e. It’ s v e r y b i g ! Bu t it ’ s n ot a s b i g a s my lo ve fo r you. H o w c a n y o u d e scribe how big a pa ren t ’s l o v e is fo r t h e i r child? Is it as big as a hou se, as big a s a ci t y , as big as the w orld ? Th is up lif t in g p i ct u r e book helps young rea d ers fin d an a n s w e r . No m a tte r h o w different our families ma y be , t he o n e th i n g w e all have in comm on is l o v e . T h e e v o ca ti v e tex t and vibrant ar t work ex plo re th e b o u ndle s s love of a p a ren t , com p a r i n g t h e s cope of the familia r a n d th e g re a t u n k n o w n to the love they ha v e f or th e ir c h i l d . T h i s i s a s tunning book to sh a re wit h c h i l d r e n a g ed tw o and up.

DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

WHY IT’S IMPORTANT FOR THE KIDS TO BELIEVE IN SANTA WRITTEN BY: Feba Maryann

Every year, parents find themselves puzzling over whether they ought to advance the legend of the carefree elderly person in a red coat, A.K.A. Santa Claus. The legend of Santa stretches back hundreds of years to Saint Nicholas, a fourth-century Greek bishop. Santa is said to bring gifts and toys to wellbehaved children on Christmas Eve, riding his magical sleigh and assisted by Christmas elves. While this sounds humanly impossible, the tale of the jolly, white-bearded Santa is a time-hallowed tradition. For many, Santa and related traditions, bring joyous and fun experiences to their holiday celebrations. But some others feel that the Santa story consists of lying and think that it is unethical. Here’s our take on why we think that it is important for kids to believe in Santa. Affectionate Memories Everybody can think back and recall the happy occasions as well as memories during Christmas. Everybody has a memory they can think back on and

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get happy. Santa Claus permits only that for youngsters all over the world, these are occasions that they will think back about. Those exceptional recollections aren’t restricted to children alone, Santa can make magnificent recollections for grown-ups as well. In case you’re a parent, seeing your kid get invigorated in the arrangement of the Christmas Tree and hang tight for Santa all energised and grinning, could perhaps be one of the best memories you would have. Sneaking in the middle of the night to place the gifts and gobble down on the cookies and milk, would all be fun moments that you could cherish forever. Solid Imagination Accepting the stories of Santa Claus requires an exciting, creative mind on the youngster’s part. It can’t be difficult to shut your eyes and see a gathering of huge reindeer driving a sleigh during that time in sky with a huge elderly person dressed in red and a huge sack of presents riding in it. Envisioning Santa sliding down a little smokestack

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that might have a fire at the base is something that requires a noteworthy measure of the creative mind. Having a creative mind that enormous can be utilised for more than simply envisioning occasion figures, if an individual fosters a sufficient creative mind they can envision anything even the incomprehensible. Inspiration for Good Behaviour Everyone knows about Santa’s Naughty or Nice rundown. Regardless of whether they’ve caught wind of it from one of the various tunes, their family, or from a Christmas film that rundown turns into a colossal idea in a child’s mind as Christmas seems to be around the corner. Kids on the nice list, get gifts of candy, and toys, while the troublemakers who find themselves on the naughty list, receive coal or no gifts. When this story is told in a snappy tune by someone they love and trust, for any youngster who has faith in Santa this turns into an extremely serious deal. This pushes kids to behave better and cut down on their shenanigans. Final Thoughts The primary contention is that educating kids regarding 36

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a mysterious figure who conveys presents to youngsters throughout the planet on Christmas Eve is false. This untruth might be upheld by sincere goals, yet it’s completely false regardless, one that will unavoidably disentangle sooner or later during a child’s advancement. Sorting out reality can be horrible for a kid; this contention goes and will project the message that kids cannot confide in what their folks tell them. Further, lying to empower appropriate conduct is manipulative and urges kids to act for some unacceptable reasons. There is some proof that prizes (like Christmas presents) subvert children’s inspiration. So perhaps depending on Santa or an Elf on the Shelf to advance acceptable conduct isn’t the best system assuming you need your children to be acceptable lasting through the year. However, there is no proof proposing that learning reality regarding Santa is awful for children or that it prompts trust issues among kids and their folks. Small kids who have confidence in Santa might act insignificantly better briefly for the season contrasted with kids who don’t, however that is not a justification behind guardians to stress over them growing up. At the point when kids ultimately quit putting stock in Santa, in case they were at that point great children that won’t change. DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

HOW TO DEAL WITH SEPARATION DURING PREGNANCY Written by Liza John

Pregnancy and giving birth are perhaps the most joyous moment in a couple’s life. But in some cases, due to abuse or difference in opinions, divorce may be the only option to lead a peaceful life. Getting a divorce is a disquieting and tormenting affair, but in addition to that, you also have a baby to take care of, which truth be told will push your back against a wall. In that case one should follow the steps given below to deal with separation during pregnancy. Build An Emotional Support System Getting separated during pregnancy is a bitter experience. You might find yourself reduce to tears and experience a lot of mood swings. In such times, take emotional support from the loved ones. Having a family member or a close friend that you can talking to and share your emotions might provide you a lot of relief and make you feel better. Some may choose not to open up as they might feel that opening up may be perceived as a sign of weakness. But bottling up your emotions will make you 40

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feel much worse. Besides, nurturing a whole human in your womb is not something a weak person can do; the point being that you do not have to prove to anyone else that you are strong. Seek Professional Help A separated and expectant mother goes through a lot of emotions and sometimes, it might feel spiralling out of control. In such times, taking help from the professionals helps them a lot to recover and focus on the positive things. Professionals to be consulted not only include the healthcare team who helps in your mental and physical well-being, but a legal advisor as well. Take Care of Yourself and Your Baby During separation, you may feel emotionally or physically sick and may feel alone. Take a rest and get some fresh air. Eat healthy food. Do some light exercises. Consult the doctor regularly. Remember that you should take care of you and your baby too. Do things that make you happy, and practice self-care. For example, watch DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

a funny movie that makes you laugh or sing your heart out or dance like nobody is watching, you do you. Have Hope In hard times like getting separated, hope is the only key to survival. Remember that good things are going to happen and tell yourself that everything is going to be okay. Remember that life is a roller coaster and there will be ups and downs. Yes, it is easier said than done, but it is essential to be happy and hopeful. This helps in maintaining the good health of you and your baby as well. Avoid all the negative thoughts that give you bad vibes. Try not to dwell in the past, think about what you can do now for your baby and yourself. Stay Connected You may not have any need of your spouse, but your child needs both parents. So get in touch with your spouse. Talk to them and plan to meet them at some specific locations and share the responsibility of your kid equally. This may also help in rebuilding your relationship and create

a healthy environment for your child to grow up in. Separated parents might be a very stressful situation children to grow in. But by being mature responsible adults working together, you can ensure that your child grows up to become a healthy and happy individual. Do Not Beat Yourself Up Just thinking of divorce during pregnancy is enough to put you down in the dumps. You may feel that you are doing some kind of injustice to your child. But before thinking about your baby, think of yourself. Remember that only when you are mentally good enough, can you completely take care of your baby. Do not feel guilty for getting separated. Instead, feel proud for standing up for yourself. Remember that being with your partner did not result in a happy life. Such an unhappy life situation would be more vulnerable if you give birth to the baby. Coming out of any relationship is completely fine and you do not need to worry about it.

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INTERIORS

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nursery Photo: aboutwallart.com

Stokke® Sleepi™ Bed $1,390.00 stokkeshop.com.au

Miffy – Sitting Corduroy Off White (50cm) $104.95 lumibear.com.au

Mini Faux Fiddle Leaf Fig Plant in White Porcelain Pot $162 newnestshop.com

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Under the Sea Baby Boy Wall Art For Nursery Framed $151 etsy.com/au

Fitted - Cot Sheet $79 bhumi.com.au

Shangri-La Chest of 6 Drawers $229 mattblatt.com.au

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k i d s Photo: chalkpinklinencompany.co.uk

Grey Town & Country Bed $579 templeandwebster.com.au

Oxford Antique Desk Globe $280 chartandmapshop.com.au

Jeffrey The Wooden Giraffe $96 lacasavita.com.au

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Denver Rug $1,199 lifeinteriors.com.au

Tumbled Grey Single Linen Duvet Cover Set $39.95 chalkpinklinencompany.co.uk

Grey Chloe 2 Drawer Side Table $149 templeandwebster.com.au

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WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR BODY AFTER BIRTH? Written by Liza John

Your body has been nourishing a little human for the last nine months. During this period your body has undergone an incredible transformation. Your stomach muscles have stretched to accommodate for the growing baby. Your hips widened to birth the baby, and you have also undergone tremendous hormonal changes to nourish the baby. All these rapid changes seem to slow down a bit after the delivery. The long, exciting journey, filled with joy and the occasional worries, has finally come to an end. But this does not mean that your body is back to normal, there’s more coming your way. Your Body After Birth Regardless of how your delivery went, whether it was a normal birth or Caesarean, whether you were in labour for hours or days, your body has gone through a lot of trauma. So, your body needs time to rest and recover. Most women feel back to normal by 6 to 8 weeks, but it may take longer for others, depending on how difficult the birth was. You may feel physically tired and emotionally drained during this period. It might feel like the odds are stacked against you. You must rest, eat well, stay hydrated, and engage in self-care. Even if you feel completely well, do not skip your

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appointments for post-partum check-ups. These check-ups are crucial in spotting and treating any health conditions that put new moms at risk. Your Hormones and Brain You ever feel like you aren’t the old you anymore? Do you feel that your life has changed drastically? These changes and feelings could be accredited to the change in hormone levels in your body right after birth. Right after your delivery, all of a sudden, the level of estrogen and progesterone hormones in your body drop. This contributes to what is known as Baby Blues or may even lead to post-partum depression. At the same time, the oxytocin levels in your body start rising. This hormone is responsible for the behavioural developments of a mother. At the same time, this can amp up your anxiety. Usually, the body uses more progesterone to combat anxiety, but since the progesterone levels are already low, this wouldn’t be very effective. This situation again adds up to your post-partum anxiety. You might experience a lot of mood swings for several months as your hormones balance out. But be sure to visit a doctor if you are struggling with these problems.

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Nutrients Iron deficiency is quite common in new mothers, due to the blood loss during delivery. Symptoms of iron deficiency generally include feeling shaky, exhausted as well as more severe symptoms like shortness of breath, pale skin, swollen tongue, dizziness. The solution is quite simple: incorporate iron-rich foods such as red meat, leafy greens, beans, and lentils into your diet. Additionally, you can keep taking the prenatal multivitamin with iron for as long as you experience post-delivery bleeding. If you are a breastfeeding mother, you’ll need some additional vitamins and minerals such as Vitamins A, B, C, and E, choline, copper, iodine, selenium, and zinc. Try to have a balanced diet with a good quantity of protein, carbs, fruits and veggies. Your doctor will help you choose the appropriate supplements if necessary. Uterus, Vagina and Vulva Your uterus probably feels like it was wrecked by a nuclear missile, and it needs to recover. You’ll experience pain similar to menstrual cramps, that last for about two or three days. This will help your uterus contract to its original shape and flatten your belly to some extent. You’re going to have what is known as Lochia, which is a bloody discharge coming out of your vagina for 58

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about six weeks past delivery. Your perineum or abdomen will take about six weeks to heal. However, sometimes nerves around them may be damaged during delivery, in which case you may encounter numbness or sensitivity. Pelvic Floor, and Bladder The pressure and stress that your bladder and urethra underwent during delivery may sometimes make it difficult for you to pee. At the same time, you will be peeing a lot and we mean a lot during the first two weeks after delivery, as the hormones in your body balance out. Post-partum constipation is quite common in new mothers, due to dehydration, or side effects of painkillers, or fear of tearing. Stay hydrated, drink lots of water and eat fruits. You might sometimes need a stool softener, so consult your doctor or midwife for the same. Are you scared of peeing your pants a little while you are out or around people? Incontinence is another problem that new mothers run into. The good news is, you can get rid of them by paying some attention and showing some love to your pelvic floor. The labour and delivery has put immense stress on your pelvic floor and it will be weak in the initial weeks or months after delivery. However, you could employ a wide range of tools such as Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor and put a stop to the pee leaks. DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

TIPS TO DESIGNING A BABY FRIENDLY BACKYARD Written by Liza John

Kids are supposed to run around and play, having a backyard gives them the liberty to do so. But with freedom comes a few hazards you need to deal with. Being a responsible parent, it is your duty to keep your child away from harmful things, both indoors and outdoors. In this pandemic-stricken time, your backyard could be a better place for your kid to play rather than going to the park. So here are a few tips you can follow in order to make your backyard childfriendly and safe for your children. Make Your Backyard Free of Hazards: While designing your backyard, make sure that there are no such things that cause harm to your kids. Keep all your gardening tools such as spade, ladder, chemicals etc out of reach of children. It is better to put all of them in a room and lock it. Along with this make sure that there are no holes, thorns, insect nests or any bugs present in the backyard. In any kind of backyard design, building a fence is the most suggested. This fence helps the kids or pets to stay within their boundaries. In addition to

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this, make sure that the fence does not have any wires or metal strips pointing out. Playhouses And Play Sets: Kids love playhouses and play sets. If there is sufficient space in your backyard, try to build a playhouse. Decorate it with fairy lights, hang colourful curtains, arrange some kids’ furniture and even add some blankets and cushions. If you want to install any kind of play sets in your backyard, then you must plan routine checks for them. For example, if you install a swing then you should check it regularly to see whether the bolts, frame or any other parts are in good condition or not. Secure Your Pool: Most of us like to have a pool in the backyard. But there is a risk of children getting drowned into it. So, if you are planning to have a pool in the backyard, then You should provide a high deal of observation and maintenance. Building a secure wall or door outside the pool area is most advisable. Lock that when not in use.

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Maintain Minimum Furniture: Design your backyard in such a way that it requires minimum furniture. This helps you in maximum usage of the play area. Do not use heavy furniture. Furniture made of glass is highly not recommended. The less furniture, the less will be threats. Prefer Smooth Flooring: In the backyards, grass is only the most suitable flooring option. You may also choose outdoor rugs and even layer them with children’s rugs in order to maintain a smooth surface. Do not put any kind of gravel as there is a possibility of toddlers swallowing it. It may also hurt the children when walking with bare feet. Choose Child-Friendly Plants: We all generally grow a variety of plants in our backyards. Know about all the plants in your backyard. Make sure that no plant in your backyard causes harm to your child. Kids are clumsy, and if your

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backyard has plants with thorns, it could lead to numerous painful experiences. Also beware of any plants with poisonous berries or leaves and plants that cause skin irritation in your backyard. Clear your backyard of such plants or make sure that your child can’t touch them by using a fence, mesh or a plant barrier. At the same time, try to nurture plants that attract butterflies. Butterflies will engage your kids, while helping you capture some cute, memorable pictures. Maintain Constant Adult Supervision: You may design your backyard in a highly secure way, but even then, there is a possibility of accidents to the kids. To protect them from accidents, make sure that your kids are always under the adult supervision when playing in the backyard. And in addition to that, make some rules for kids such as do not enter into some areas, do not play in the rough areas etc. Ask your kids to follow them. And it is better to paste those rules in the backyard.

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Last Minute

CHRISTMAS G i f t

G u i d e

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GIFTS FOR

Fisher-Price Rock-a-Stack $10 target.com.au

B.toys Fish N Splish Bath Boat $35 target.com.au 68

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Huffy 4-in-1 Canopy Trike $119 kmart.com.au

Peppa Pig Large Beanie Buddy Plush $25 toysrus.com.au

BABY

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GIFTS FOR

My Fairy Garden Fairy Garden $24 kmart.com.au

Play Dirt Bugs In A Jar $14.99 kidstuff.com.au 70

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Wooden Toy Play Kitchen With Accessories $89 bigw.com.au

Fisher Price 6-in-1 Qwikflip Sports Activity Centre $129 toysrus.com.au

TODDLERS

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GIFTS FOR

INVERT TS3+ V2 Freestyle Scooter - Black Neo $19 target.com.au

Connect 4 Shots Game $25 kmart.com.au 72

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LEGO Minecraft The Bee Farm $28 bigw.com.au

Gazillion Bubbles Big Bubble Wand (Giant) $12.99 kidstuff.com.au

SCHOOL KIDS

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GIFTS FOR

Band of Hearts Ring $69 au.pandora.net

Must De Cartier Keyring $680 cartier.com.au 74

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Dior Lip Maximizer $55 dior.com.au

Givenchy Baby Antigona Crossbody Bag $857 au.cettire.com

MUMS

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GIFTS FOR

DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

Evil Eye String Bracelet $292 farfetch.com/au

Blake Illustration Oversized T-Shirt In White/Black $685 alexandermcqueen.com/en-au

Armani Exchange $140 sunglasshut.com.au

DADS

Men’s Gucci Tennis 1977 Sneaker $1095 gucci.com/au DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

WHAT ARE THE WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU ARE A CODEPENDENT PARENT? Written by Liza John

Co-dependency is a term often associated with alcohol and substance abuse. But when it comes to co-dependent relationships, the first thing that you may picture is a toxic romantic relationship. However, that is not the only scenario where people are co-dependent in relationships. More often than not, parent-child relationships can have an element of co-dependency if you don’t keep an eye out. In a co-dependent parent-child relationship, the parent displays an unhealthy attachment to their child. Co-dependency is a step further from the average controlling parenting style. Here, a parent derives everything that people usually receive from their partner, friends, and other relations from their relationship with the child. The kind of close relationship that the co-dependent parent seeks with their child is no longer a sign of a well-functioning family but of a dysfunctional one. Co-dependent parents are not uncommon but they can be a little tricky to spot. Here are a few tell-tale signs that you are a co-dependent parent. Being Overly Emotional Is Commonplace Expressing outrage and sadness in a conversation is not a surprise, but there might be a problem when it is always done through screaming, crying,

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and yelling. When co-dependent parents feel like they no longer have the upper hand in an argument, they resort to manipulation tactics like silent treatment or crying and yelling. When called out on these attempts to turn the argument in their favour, the parent goes on to ignore them or becomes extremely insensitive. Listening Is a Tough Job For any relationship to work smoothly, the parties involved need to communicate well by listening and speaking in turns. Children with co-dependent parents will tell you a different story though. These children feel that more than talking to their parent, they talk ‘at’ the parent. No matter how much evidence the child presents before the parent, there comes no change in the position they hold. Co-dependent parents seem eager to ignore or move on to another topic without addressing the issue when their stances are questioned by the children. The Role of The Victim Is Always Yours Co-dependent parents love playing the victim. When sharing experiences with their child, these parents always frame events in such a way that elicits sympathy from the child. Expecting your children to give you the emotional support that should

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come from another adult is called parentification. Relying on your children to be your caretaker can weigh heavily on the child’s health. The idea of establishing boundaries never crosses their mind. Need To Control Reigns Supreme A co-dependent parent derives their sense of self from being involved in their child’s life. At any sign of distress or discord, the parent gets over-involved in the child’s affairs. Not only for problem-solving, but co-dependent parents also find it difficult to give children age-appropriate autonomy. When this happens, children feel caged in and unable to make any decision on their own as adults. You Know the Best People tend to be wrong sometimes but codependent parents think differently. They believe that there is no wrong they could do when it comes to their children. Even as their children mature into adults, these parents approach discussions, and arguments with the stance that they cannot be proved wrong. Thus, when the child supplies proof that the parent is incorrect, the co-dependent parent views it as a question of their authority. Even if the child shows the error in the parent’s way, they never apologize or take corrective actions.

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You Lack Other Healthy Relationships This is the easiest sign for spotting a co-dependent parent. Co-dependent parents set aside their other fulfilling adult relationships to focus on their children. In fact, most co-dependent parents describe their children as their best friends. When you sacrifice your time with the adults to cater to every whim of your child, they lose respect for you and this further deepens the co-dependency of the relationship. Final Thoughts Having a co-dependent parent has long-lasting effects on the children. From being unable to make decisions on their own to having issues with commitment in relationships, children who grew up under co-dependent parents even become codependent in other relationships. Once you notice this behaviour in your relationship, breaking out of it might be difficult but it is necessary for everyone involved. Usually, children with codependent parents often cut off ties with their parents as they grow. To prevent this, relationship therapy and family counselling is the best way to tackle this issue.

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HOW TO AVOID GIVING YOUR CHILD NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE ISSUES? Written by Liza John

How one views their body can form an enormous part of their identity. Body image is the way in which you look at your body and the confidence you feel in it. With a positive body image comes a good self-image and self-esteem. However, experts suggest that children as young as 4 and 5 express dissatisfactions with their bodies. Poor relationships with your body can result in social, psychological, and emotional distresses for all ages and genders. As much as it is upsetting when adolescents and adults find flaws in their bodies based on an idea of non-existent perfection, it is downright disturbing when it comes from toddlers. On the brighter side, changing this perceived image is easier when it comes to young, impressionable minds than adults. Here are a few ways that parents should attempt to avoid negative body image issues in children. Learning that a person is worth more than their appearance is a lesson that can help you open dialogue on various other sensitive topics with your child. Being A Role Model Your children look up to you and pick up on your most minute responses more often than you think. Thus, it is important that you become a good example to your children when it comes to having a good relationship with your body. Actions such as sighing while looking in the mirror, commenting on how unflattering you look in new clothes, or refusing dessert because it will make you fat can impact your child as well. Rather than criticising bodies for looking the way they do, tell your kids that health looks different on each body. With unedited and unfiltered pictures of people, show your children that deviating from

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the standard set by media does not equal unhealthy. In addition, make sure that you break the negative body images you hold as you try to teach your child better ideals. What To Eat? One of the earliest lessons taught to kids beginning their education is to distinguish food as ‘good’ and ‘bad’. While that is one way to classify food, it might be better to take an approach of ‘regular’ and ‘occasional’ foods. Regular food can include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and other nutritionally rich food that is essential to growth and development. On the other hand, the occasional food group includes the sugary, fried, and processed foods that are better when consumed in smaller quantities. As you take this way to segregate food, make sure that the child knows about the importance of vitamins, minerals, proteins, and at the same time, avoid giving fats a negative image. Let them know that fats are a great source of energy and keep them warm. In a society where fat-phobia is acceptable, the term ‘fat’ has garnered an ill-reputation for itself, and it is about time to change this. Ideas On Eating Habits Most people with a tendency to develop eating disorders often have a muddled idea about hunger, satiety, and eating their fill. Learning to make this distinction at an early age can have various benefits in the long run. You can teach your kids to eat how much they need without wasting food. Also, teach them to eat when they are hungry and not as part of a routine.

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Most importantly, stop the trend of dieting in your household. Introduce the concept of eating healthy instead. With today’s diet culture and social media’s influence, even children under the age of 9 attempt weight-loss diets. What Does Exercise Mean? As toxic as the diet culture, exercising to lose weight and look attractive is another bane for positive body images. Emphasise to your children that physical activity is meant to make the body stronger and healthier, not attractive. Influences On Body Image The content you view leaves lasting impressions on children. Superheroes with sculpted chests and dolls with unrealistic proportions can mould how the child pictures an ideal body. Screen the content that you expose your children to understand the problematic concepts they propagate. Sit your child down and discuss with them why such portrayal of bodies is incorrect. Having this conversation can have an impact not only on children’s body images but also on their perception of gender, sex, and relationships. Peer groups are integral to forming healthy body images. When young children associate words like ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ with their concept of self-due to namecalling from school, their self-confidence takes a hit. These children become more prone to developing depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. Thus, schools should pay attention to educating students on this subject. Final Thoughts To build a positive image in your child, start with creating one for yourself. When your child makes negative comments about their body, instead of brushing it off, ask them why they think so and what led them to such negative conclusions. Teach your children to look for positive character features and compliment people for that instead of their looks. Honest conversations and having a positive relationship with your own body can guide your child to the same. 88

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SUPPORTING A PARTNER WHO IS STRUGGLING THROUGH A BURNOUT Written by Lance Green

Everyone has gone through a burnout, once or several times, in their lives. Burnouts can be caused due to either an exhaustively long day at work or stress at home. It may damage our emotional, mental as well as physical well-being. Burnout may sometimes be interchanged with depression, however, a burnout is entirely different from depression. Depression may be from long term overthinking or anxiety and can be triggered by anything. Whereas a burnout leaves people drained and unable to perform even the simplest of tasks. Therefore, one needs to support a partner who is struggling through burnout differently. The partner who is struggling through burnout may make you feel like they do not want to talk to you, or they may say some mean things. But you should understand that this will perhaps be the hardest stretch of the relationship for both of you, and that you need to be there for them. You should know that the fight should not be between the both of you, rather it should be you and your partner fighting the problem. Here are some tips that will surely help you out in supporting your partner who is struggling through burnout.

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You Have to Start the Conversation If your partner is struggling through burnout, and you can see it, you should start the conversation with a positive attitude and ask them about their problem without sounding rude. You can paraphrase the question like “ You seem a bit tired, are you alright?” Or “ You are not looking for yourself, you should take some rest or have coffee” These positive and caring approaches will ease out their frustration and irritation. The conversation is the only thing that will hold you together and neglecting them will only increase the distance. Ask Them How You Can Help Burnout can be of longer work or extra workload and your partner might need some help, but they might be uncertain whether they should ask for your help or not. Therefore, asking your partner how you can help will remove some burden from their shoulder and they will have surety that there is someone to help. You should prepare or practice some work-related conversation with them.

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Speak Less, Listen More One of the effective methods of communication is to listen actively. Once you start conversations with your partner about their burnout, you should listen to their problem actively. When they are speaking about their problem, you should avoid starting your grieving or start giving suggestions because, in burnout, everyone’s problem is different and in burnout they need help, not suggestions. Try To Be Constructive Going through a burnout, things are going to be pretty hectic for your partner. During this time, you must be stronger, constructive, and positive with your partner. Try to avoid negative criticism about your partner. Try not to complain about their time and behaviour. People experiencing burnouts can sometimes shut down when given advice. So, frame positive requests, rather than trying to make them feel like they are being instructed. For example, use “Do you think you can talk to your boss?”, over “Talk to your boss.”.

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Help Them with Household Chores Men do help women in household chores, but on average, women do household chores more than men. But when it comes to burnout, you should give more effort to managing household chores like looking after children, preparing food, sweeping, washing your dishes, clothes, etc. These simple things will give them lots of relief and time to cope with burnout. Check Regularly with Them In burnout, you’ll need to constantly keep checking on your partner. You can’t just talk to your partner and expect them to be okay in an instant, it takes a longer time to recover from burnout. You had to check on them regularly and at regular intervals of time. This will build effective communication with your partner and the bond with your partner will get stronger and better. Be Available and Actively Take Care Of Them Being available and actively taking care of your partner might be one of the hardest things to do in their burnout. Give plenty of time to your partner. When your partner is around, you should keep your laptop, mobile away and be with your partner. Actively doing all things in time, will give extra rest to your partner. DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

WHY AREN’T I READY FOR SEX AFTER HAVING A BABY? Written by Liza John

If you have been feeling reluctant to get intimate with your partner postpartum, you are not alone. It is very common to feel awkward and like you’re not ready to have sex like you did before giving birth. This change might seem terrifying because suddenly you are pulling away from your partner, which is something you don’t want to do, but you don’t have the same sex drive anymore. Such sudden changes are brought about by many factors. There is no singular cause-effect relationship to your decreased interest in sex. However, navigating this issue is clearly important because it affects the relationship dynamic and status with your partner. Moreover, for a average adult with a healthy sex drive, suddenly feeling uninterested in sexual activities can bring on emotional and psychological turmoil as well. A good sexual health expert or your general physician can inform you about the basics of sexual health after giving birth and give you personalised recommendations. However, here are some general reasons behind why there is a dip in the interest to initiate sex after having a baby. Fluctuating Hormones The entire duration of pregnancy is characterised by 98

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changes in the hormone profile of a person. While expecting, estrogen levels in the body are high but once you give birth, they drop to the normal level. If the parent is breastfeeding, the estrogen levels drop further. Apart from being responsible for facilitating pregnancy, estrogen has a significant influence on regulating libido. Since the hormone levels are fluctuating, it is only normal for some side effects to be visible. This should resolve itself quickly, from anywhere within a few weeks to six months depending on whether you breastfeed. Changing Body After pregnancy, your body changes, this is a fact. Despite being a well-known fact, some people might find it difficult to come to terms with the changes their body has undergone. The most visible changes are on the waist, breasts, and legs, and these changes might make you feel insecure. Some parents become concerned about the C-section scar or the stretch marks that have surfaced. More often than not, the fear that their body is going to be no longer attractive to their partners keeps some individuals from initiating intimacy postpartum.

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Anxiety About the Baby You have an entire human being, depending on you to take care of them now, and it is understandable if you are anxious about it. Most new parents feel that their newborn will need them while they are in the middle of intercourse, and not being able to reach the baby immediately holds them back. Some parents also feel weird about having the baby near them when they are being intimate. Also, sharing their body with someone who is not their partner, the baby, can cause some confusion on a deeper level in some new parents. This explains why some new parents are even hesitant about touch from anyone else. Discomfort and Stress This reason is an interplay of all the factors mentioned above. A new baby means caring for them all day and having a disrupted sleep schedule, eating habits, and even hygiene routine. The idea of engaging in something sexual might be the last thing on one’s mind when they have been puked on and are running on short naps.

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The changes in hormones and the process of natural birth also make the pelvic floor and vaginal muscles ‘loose’. This means that pleasure is no longer the same in penetrative sex. There also might be vaginal dryness and a shift of erogenous zones, especially the breasts, to account for. Even after the doctor or midwife has given you and your partner the green light to resume sexual activities, the fear of getting pregnant so soon after a child can hold some people back. Final Thoughts Loss of sex drive is quite common after giving birth. Resolving it together with your partner can help you strengthen your relationship and prevent unnecessary problems due to miscommunication. The key is to take it slow. Communicate well with your partner and initiate cuddling or hand holding so that they don’t feel shut out. Take care of yourself and familiarise yourself with the changes in the body. Mutual masturbation, new sex positions, and the use of lubricants can go a long way. Try to connect with your partner in other areas and avoid giving the sexual aspect of the relationship undue importance until things settle.

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channelling my festive spirit WRITTEN BY: Sheree Hoddinett

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum. No that’s not right. Ho ho nooooooo. No that doesn’t quite work either. The silly season or crazy season, whichever way you want to word it/label it/describe it, is well and truly upon us. It’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year and in some part it. kind of is. But I also find it full on, especially as my girls approach ages where they don’t really need a million toys anymore. I’m not the Grinch, I promise. I just find this time of year…. hectic to say the least. Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy the atmosphere and idea behind Christmas (especially if there is wine involved, haha!). I’m just not a massive fan of madly getting ready for the day itself. Namely the night before! It really is all about the kids in the end. But I often wonder why we put so much pressure on ourselves to get the “perfect” present. For me, it’s about not wanting to disappoint anyone, especially my girls. Keeping the magic of Christmas alive is so important while they’re little. And at 6 and 8, I want them to believe and receive as long as possible! The anticipation of waiting for Santa to start his journey, the excitement of making sure there’s food for the reindeers and of course waking up on Christmas morning to see what’s been delivered overnight. It really is all about the wonder and excitement. I do remember what it was like when I was a kid, even though it feels like forever ago now.

It’s funny the little traditions I have started with my girls in the last few years since they started realising what it all meant for them. They started wearing their Christmas pyjamas in November and we put our tree up early too (that was fun, not!), so we can appreciate it for a little bit longer. But they also enjoy their advent calendars as we countdown the days and they may have two little elf friends that visit every December, named JoJo and Sprinkles. They may not exactly be my favourite visitors but it sure keeps the girls entertained seeing the mischief that has been created every night. It just fries my brain being so creative every night…. sigh, groan, mumble…. better go move them to their new hiding spot before I forget. But there’s one other thing we love (yes me included!) doing every

year - heading out to see all the Christmas lights. I’m truly a kid at heart when it comes to all the bright, sparkling and amazing light set ups out there. I love seeing the smiles on the faces of my girls as they discover all the fun. Plus, no Christmas would be complete without our visit to Santa with all 3 of us jumping in the photo. Yep, I’m a little bit old to be visiting Santa now, but I don’t mind the visit when it’s only once a year! So, I’m not exactly a Grinch or Scrooge, just a bone-tired and weary mumma trying to battle her way through this insane time of year ordering presents and sorting food all while keeping the littlest versions of me extremely happy. It’s a tall order but I can only try right?! Although don’t judge me, I have considered wrapping up things they have forgotten

about by pushing them to the bottom of the box and seeing if they notice it’s one and the same, haha! It’ll be funny for about a second and then they’ll want to know where the real presents are…. maybe I should shove them at the bottom of the box and see if they actually find them. If you’re looking for something to do over the silly season (because as parents you have so much free time!) check out my personal blog www.shereekim. com. It may not be the highlight of your day but it might make you feel a bit better about any parenting decisions gone wrong, haha! On that note, however you choose to celebrate at this crazy and hectic time of year, make it a good one and enjoy the festive season. Have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Until next time…...xx

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fashion DECEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #123

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girls FASHION

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UNDER $55 davidjones.com BABY David Jones Organic Cotton Nappy Cover & Tee 2pc Set $39.95 Old Soles Gabrielle Snow $54.95

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UNDER $55 davidjones.com BABY David Jones Organic Cotton Nappy Cover & Tee 2pc Set $39.95 Old Soles Bambini Market $54.95

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Petal Dress $98.00

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Maja Romper | Sky Gingham $79.00

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recipes sourced from: healthyliving.nsw.gov.au

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Delicious

Fruity Yoghurt Breakfast Crunch INSTRUCTIONS

prep time: 10 mins serves: 2 INGREDIENTS

mix chopped mango and kiwi fruit with orange juice.

place cereal in two breakfast bowls, top with mango and kiwi mix and yoghurt.

eat straightaway or place in the fridge for up to an hour before serving.

2 tbsp 1 cup

hint: swap mango and kiwi fruit for your favourite seasonal fruits. 1 1/2 cups

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mango, peeled and chopped kiwi fruit, peeled and chopped fresh orange juice granola-style breakfast cereal natural yoghurt (reduced fat if available)

Quick & Easy Mango & Passionfruit Breakfast Smoothie INSTRUCTIONS 1

place the fruit into a blender with the milk, yoghurt, honey, almonds and ice. blend until smooth and serve immediately. hint: stir the passionfruit into the smoothie after the rest of the ingredients have been blended together.

prep time: 5 mins serves: 1 INGREDIENTS 1 sml 3/4 cup 1/4 cup 1 tbsp 1 tbsp 1/4 cup 1/2

mango or 2 frozen mango cheeks milk (reduced fat if available) natural yoghurt (reduced fat if available) honey almonds crushed ice passionfruit (see hint)

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Avocado and Bean Salad in Lettuce Baskets prep & cook time: 20 mins serves: 4 INSTRUCTIONS 1

put the corn, kidney beans, red onion, capsicum, tomatoes and avocado in a bowl and mix to combine.

fold through the salsa and coriander. spoon the salad into the lettuce leaves.

top each lettuce cup with a dollop of yoghurt and a sprinkling of lightly crushed corn chips.

INGREDIENTS 300g 1 sml 2 tbsp 2 tbsp 8 lrg 2 tbsp 130g 1 2 1 lrg 100g

can red kidney beans, rinsed & drained red onion, finely chopped mild bottled tomato salsa chopped fresh coriander iceberg lettuce leaves, washed reduced fat natural yoghurt can corn kernels, drained 1 green capsicum, chopped vine ripened tomatoes, chopped avocado, chopped toasted corn chips

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Avocado, Egg and Spinach prep & cook time: 5 mins serves: 1 INSTRUCTIONS 1

put spinach leaves over one slice of bread.

in a small bowl, mash egg and avocado together. add yoghurt, mustard and lemon juice and mix well.

spread over the remaining bread slice and sandwich to the spinach.

INGREDIENTS 2 1/2 cup 1 2 tbsp 1 tbsp 1/4 tsp

slices wholegrain bread baby spinach leaves hard boiled and deshelled avocado low-fat natural or greek yoghurt dijon mustard

1/2 tbsp lemon juice

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Pasta Primavera with Cannellini Beans INSTRUCTIONS 1

cook pasta in a large pot according to packet directions. drain, remove from pot and set aside.

add oil to the pot and cook garlic and salami for a few minutes until aromatic.

turn heat down to low and add the pasta and stir until coated.

add the pesto, ricotta and cannellini beans and stir well.

combine peas, zucchini and asparagus in a microwave safe container and cook on high for 3 minutes. drain any water, then add vegetables to the pot.

add tomatoes and fresh basil leaves and stir until warmed through.

serve garnished with fresh basil leaves.

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prep & cook time: 40 mins serves: 4 INGREDIENTS 350g 1 tbsp 2 50g 2 cups 1 1 cup 1 1 cup 1 cup 100g 2

wholemeal pasta olive oil cloves garlic, crushed salami, finely chopped zucchini slices bunch asparagus spears, sliced into 3cm lengths frozen peas punnet cherry tomatoes, halved cooked cannellini beans (canned, drained) reduced fat ricotta basil pesto sprigs fresh basil leaves, torn into pieces

Warm Roasted Vegetable Salad

prep & cook time: 50 mins serves: 4

INSTRUCTIONS

INGREDIENTS

preheat oven to 220˚c. line a large baking tray with baking paper.

place pumpkin and potato in a microwave dish with a little water, cover with cling film and cook in microwave on high (100%) for 4 minutes.

toss pumpkin, potato, capsicum, onion and mushrooms together then spread in a single layer over tray. lightly spray with oil. bake for 30-40 minutes, turning after 15 minutes.

1 100g

mix dressing ingredients in a small bowl. when vegetables are cooked, pour over dressing.

line serving dish with spinach leaves and pile roast vegetables on top. serve immediately. tips: serve with roast meat. try including sweet potato, zucchini, carrots, beetroot, squash and baby eggplant when in season.

300g

butternut pumpkin, peeled and chopped into 2cm cubes potatoes, peeled and chopped into 2cm cubes capsicum, seeded and cut into large pieces onion, chopped into eighths 100g flat mushrooms, quartered olive or canola oil spray bunch english spinach leaves, washed and drained

FOR DRESSING 1tbsp 1 tsp 1 tbsp 1 tbsp

balsamic vinegar olive oil honey fresh basil, chopped

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Berry Rhubarb Meringue Pots prep time: 40 mins serves: 4

INSTRUCTIONS 1

preheat oven to 180ºc (160°c fan forced).

place rhubarb, apples, berries, juice or water and cinnamon into a large saucepan over a moderate heat. cover, bring to the boil and simmer gently, stirring occasionally, over a low heat for 15-20 minutes until rhubarb is soft but apples retain their shape.

in a clean dry bowl whisk the egg whites until soft peaks have formed. add sugar and beat until sugar has dissolved. y.

divide cooked fruit between 4 small 1-cup capacity overproof bowls and top with meringue, shaping into a peak.

sprinkle with almonds and bake for 10 minutes until golden.

serve immediatel

INGREDIENTS stalks rhubarb, cut 4 into 5cm lengths apples, peeled, cored 3 and sliced 1 1/2 cups rozen mixed berried unsweetened apple 1/2 cups juice or water 1 tsp ground cinnamon egg whites, at room 2 temperature 1 tbsp caster sugar 1/4 cup slivered almonds

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Apple Pudding With Custard prep & freeze time : 25 mins serves: 4

INSTRUCTIONS 1

INGREDIENTS

preheat oven to 180ºc (160°c fan forced).

remove crusts from 6 slices of raisin toast and flatten bread with a rolling pin.

spray 6 holes of a regular sized muffin tin with oil and press bread firmly into holes.

combine apple, sultanas and lemon in a medium-sized bowl and mix well.

place apple mixture on top of bread in the muffin tin and press firmly with the back of a spoon.

with the remaining bread slices, cut out circular lids by using an upside down glass and cover apple mixture with bread lids.

bake in the oven for 20 minutes until golden brown.

remove puddings onto a plate and serve with a dollop of custard.

400g 4tbsp 1 tsp 200mls

slices raisin toast or fruit bread olive or canola oil spray can of unsweetened pie apple mixture sultanas lemon zest or grated rind premade custard (reduced fat if possible)

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