My Child Magazine Issue 114 March 2021 by My Child Magazine

MAGAZINE.COM.AU

ISSUE 114 - MARCH 2021

parenting styles

EDITOR IN CHIEF

Bianca Medina ART DIRECTOR

Bianca Medina DEPUTY EDITOR

Feba Maryann  CONTRIBUTORS

Sheree Hoddinett Amy Adeney Lance Green Elly Fairytale Andrea Piacquadio RODNAE Amina Filkins Laura Garcia William Fortunato Vanessa Loring August de Richelieu Lina Kivaka CONTACT

My Child Magazine Newcastle NSW Australia +614 11 572 877 editorial@mychildmagazine.com.au

Contents 6

Helicopter Parenting: Pros & Cons

What Should You Expect With A

Dad Read - Tips To Cope With Being

Multiple Pregnancy?

A Stay-At-Home Dad

Get The Look Interiors

How To Be A Good Listener In

Marriage

Is Good Cop/Bad Cop Parenting The

Establishing Healthy Boundaries

Best Way To Raise A Child?

After The Baby Is Born

Blogger -Feeling The Pressure

100

Uninvolved Parenting -

How To Enjoy Life More With Your

Fashion

Consequences

New Baby

110

Book Reviews

Toy Reviws

Why And How Parenting Styles

Top Brain Foods For Toddlers

Matter

How To Pick The Best Parenting Styles That Work For The Family

Shein Feature

124 Recipes

Helping Your Child Deal With Bullies

138

MY CHILD DIRECTORY

DISCLAIMER: It My Child Magazine and mychildmagazine.com.au are wholly owned by My Child Magazine (ABN 79 167 787 662). No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in the company or in My Child or mychildmagazine.com.au. My Child contains general information only and does not purport to be a substitute for health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. Reproduction of any material without written permission by the publisher is strictly forbidden. We cannot accept responsibility for material lost or damaged in the post or for any unsolicited manuscripts and photographs. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.

Bianca Medina editor-in-chief

Editor’s Letter Hello My Child Mamma’s and Papa’s, Well here we are, Easter again! Goodness how time seriously flies when you bringing kids into the mix? I cannot believe that we are in March already, it feels like yesterday that we were celebrating Christmas and NYE. So much is going on in life at the moment and sometimes I have to admit, it feels overwhelming. I know there are lessons to be learned but I wish I could just get the universe to realise I don’t want or need them right now! I’m totally looking forward to the Easter Break , I need a little time to just recharge and get it together. 2021 hasn’t had the start I had hoped for so far and although we all have stuff that we need to overcome, the most important thing that keeps me going during trying times, is the tiny little human that I cannot imaging my life without. I love her beyond words. So when I feel like it’s all to much, I take a break. recharge and get it together so that I can be the best mamma possible and then everything else always seems to fall into place! Well, until Next Issue,

Bianca oxo

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helicopter parenting: pros & cons written by: feba maryann

Everyone has a different take on parenting — some are highly permissive and some are authoritative while others remain uninvolved. One such parenting style that involves the parent watching over every step of the child and trying to solve problems for them is called ‘helicopter parenting’. It is mockingly called so because the parent seems to stand over the child’s shoulder and hover over their life without a break. Perceived as the in-between of free-range parenting and lawnmower parenting, helicopter parenting or cosseting is one of the most criticized parenting styles. Here are some pros and cons of this widely known parenting style: Pro #1 Ensures Safety When the parents are hyper-involved in the children’s lives, one thing they always know for sure is the child’s location. Here parents know where the child goes, at what time they will leave, and how long they will stay. Helicopter parents also make sure that their child is not anywhere without their knowledge which gives them a chance to select the people the child will come to meet. Born out of the instinct to protect one’s offspring, this is certainly a pro of the helicopter parenting style. Con #1 Creates Sneaky Children 8

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A skill that most children with helicopter parents develop is the one of how to not get in trouble. These children keep away facts about themselves or their activities to escape harsh criticism. This tendency to hide information from people in their lives carries into their adult lives. This trait is not a good one to have in a potential friend or a decent partner. No matter what it concerns, certain children who grow up with helicopter parenting compulsively need to hide away information and can never trust enough. Pro #2 Rarely Finds Trouble Adults who have experienced helicopter parenting have been proven to be less likely to get in trouble. With their parents making most of the important decisions for them and solving their crises, kids who grow up under helicopter parents have very little freedom to speak of. While freedom is essential during the growing years to make a well-adjusted adult, these adults make their decisions just like their parents would have, thereby avoiding trouble. Con #2 Makes Children Less Confident If parents are looking to raise children who are confident in their decisions, the helicopter style is not the right MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

way to do it. Turns out, this form of parenting makes the parents overly critical about their children’s judgment and thereby reducing the children’s self-confidence. Besides, always trying to meet their parents’ high standards takes a serious toll on their self-confidence. Another reason behind much of the criticism for hovering is that it makes children feel grossly inadequate. Pro #3 The Parent Stays Happy Evolution has made it so that parents have an innate desire to keep their children safe. It has been noted that this parenting style makes parents happier and satisfied. Since the parents are kept in the loop of their child’s life, they tend to be less stressed. Growing up in an environment like this, children are likely to continue to update their parents about their adult lives as well. Con #3 Struggle To Be Independent Without allowing the children to have a developmentally appropriate level of freedom, helicopter parents create

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adults who become co-dependent. Since the parents have refused to let them solve their issues in the early years, the children find it hard to make sound judgments in adulthood. They are more likely to struggle to stand on their own feet as adults and fail to take care of themselves. Being unable to take care of oneself is a sign of a deficit in parenting. Final Thoughts Hovering over kids has its benefits and pitfalls. Helicopter parenting seems extremely convenient for young children. But as adults, they struggle to cope with life; this is termed as the ‘failure to launch’ syndrome. Also, helicopter parenting increases the chances of children developing problems with substance abuse. Despite being an intrusive parenting technique, ‘heliparenting’ is said to originate from the parents’ concern for children. The sole way to resolve the tendency to hover is by recognizing the urge and channelling it to grant more autonomy. Parents should aim to be a safety net for their children rather than surveillance helicopters.

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HOW TO PICK THE BEST PARENTING STYLES THAT WORK FOR THE FAMILY Written By: Feba Maryann

Being a parent is no easy task and can be overwhelming or confusing at times. Every parent-child relationship is different and there are no hard-set rules or formats to follow. Being a parent is about taking feedback and constantly embracing changes. You don’t have to be the best parent in the world, you just have to strive to be the best parent you can be for your child. This is why picking a parenting style that works for your family is critical. Online platforms will have millions of opinions and suggestions about parenting. Before you wade into these platforms brimming with information and embark on the journey of parenthood, here are some basics that every parent-to-be must know. What Are Parenting Styles? Parenting styles refer to the combinations of various methods and strategies parents use to raise their children. Parenting styles have been extensively studied and broadly classified into four, based on the kind of structure and nurturing that the children receive from their parents. Authoritarian Authoritarian parenting involves more structure than anything. Also called dictatorship parenting, children are expected to follow every rule their parents have set up for them without question. This form of parenting makes children secretive, submissive, or overly rebellious 14

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individuals who cannot stand up or think for themselves. Permissive

“You don’t have to be the best parent in the world, you just have to strive to be the best parent you can be for your child.”

Permissive parenting follows a more lenient route where parents are more like friends. Even though this form of parenting can have immense positive effects on the child’s independence, without enough structure, it can also make children lose self-esteem, reliability, and respect for the parents. Disengaged Also known as neglectful parenting, it involves leaving your child to raise themselves. Parents provide their children with necessities, but the structure and nurturing remain lacking. Children who grow up under such parenting lack motivation, do not follow rules and tend to resent their parents. Authoritative Dubbed as the best form of parenting out there, it utilizes effective communication between the parent and the child to ensure that the needs of both parties are met. Providing MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

a balanced amount of structure and care to the child, authoritative parenting makes the child feel loved, listened to, and independent. Choosing A Suitable Parenting Style Deciding on a parenting style well before the baby comes is the best decision because you can hash out the details if you and your partner disagree on any term. For instance, if you have been raised in a permissive household and expect to follow the same style while your partner knows only how to helicopter parent, the result could spell disaster. No parent can be strictly classified as textbook permissive, authoritative, or such. In real life, all parents are an amalgamation of more than two styles. Deciding on all the styles that you want to incorporate into your parenting sounds rather easy but implementing this can be a difficult task. For example, when your child throws a temper tantrum at the grocery, it is much easier to be a disciplinarian who orders the child to behave rather than a negotiator who tries to find a compromise. Such situations are where most parents feel out of their depth. Also, if the child has different thinking or learning needs, the styles of parenting that work for neurotypical kids may not hold the same. Thus, parents should consider the needs of their children before parenting. Finding a way to meet your needs while satisfying the child’s is the crux of healthy parenting.

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Tips To Find The Best Parenting Style • Discuss different parenting styles with your partner and agree on the one you want to follow. • Remember to make alterations in your approach to parenting depending on your child’s needs and temperament. • Ensure that parental duties are divided equally between the parents. • Listening to your children and being respectful of them while they approach you can go a long way. • Always remember to discipline children without shaming them. • Praise them appropriately and equally if there are siblings involved. Children with siblings often find that their parents prefer their siblings more than themselves, even if it is not true, and this causes a lot of adjustment issues. • Instilling good work ethics in your children at a young age is a sign of effective parenting. • Try to avoid being the parent that disregards the lessons that they teach the child in their own life. • Always try to nurture the child’s self-esteem by making them try new skills and let them know how proud of them you are. • Acknowledge your limitations and drawbacks as a parent. • Avoid parenting styles that encourage coddling the child. • Be consistent with your parenting. • Express your love regularly because, at times, your children may not realise that you do. Happy Parenting! MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

is good cop / bad cop parenting the best way to raise a child? written by: Feba Maryann

When it comes to parenting, there is no technique that is right or guarantees success. Through generations of parenting experience, we have been made familiar with the ‘good cop, bad cop’ strategy. Originally considered as a psychological tactic used by interrogators in law enforcement, it has also become a tried and tested parenting strategy. Recently, people have come to criticize this strategy due to its effects on parent-child relationships and the relationship between the parents. So, is the ‘good cop, bad cop’ parenting the best way to go? Ruining Relationships Implementing the ‘good cop, bad cop’ strategy makes the child view their parents in a specific way — the warm caring one and the nagging disciplinarian. Without proper communication between the parents, it is easy for the parents to stick to these roles such that there comes a split between the parenting styles of each parent. Children usually exploit this split to get their way and avoid consequences for their actions. For example, if the mom and dad have played the bad

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cop and good cop roles respectively for a long time, the child will choose to come to the dad to avoid punishments or let them in on secrets about rule-breaking behavior. When such a split occurs, the good cop refuses to enforce discipline or let the bad cop in on the secret. Eventually, the child comes to resent the bad cop parent and the good cop parent becomes unable to guide the child. At the same time, this causes the relationship between the parents to suffer because of poor communication and lack of trust. This is why it is important for the parents to always present a united front before the child. Presenting A United Front Discussions and disagreements about parenting should be done away from the child’s earshot. Arguments can be common but try to find a point of agreement in every scenario. Work from that point to find an appropriate way to parent. For instance, if you think that the child should do the chores after dinner and your partner believes that it should be done earlier, do not argue about it in front of the child. Listening to one parent

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vouching for one solution while the other parent suggests a different one can confuse the child and make them stressed. Back up each other when the child tries to negotiate to avoid responsibilities. Also let the child know that if the current decision is not working well, another one can be made but the chores will have to be done somehow. Dealing With Disagreements Using non-verbal cues to express disagreements while the child should be avoided. Children are competent enough to read their parents’ faces and learn which parent will be easier to give in to their whims. It is essential to know that solving disagreements immediately is not important. Parents can take a break and resolve the tension at a later time. This will give them some time to think and then come back with a level head. Discuss in private, come to a unified decision, and present it before the child. In Conclusion The good cop bad cop strategy helps the parents in many ways. Most importantly, it helps them divide 22

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their responsibilities based on their strengths and raise children who are ready to meet their responsibilities. At the same time, it has many pitfalls like confusing the children and breaking up the relationship between the parents. Thus, finding a middle ground is one way to break out of this parenting style. Parents should regularly switch their roles as the good cop and bad cop so that the children do not view one parent in a negative light. While using this strategy, parents should also make sure to communicate well with each other and the children because the lack of communication can cause serious damage. Moreover, parents need not be cops in front of their children. Children need teachers and coaches to guide them in their life and not cops. The good cop and the bad cop technique is one of the first tricks in the parenting handbook but its severe cons outweigh its pros. In conclusion, utilizing the classic good cop, bad cop parenting strategy is not advised for raising an emotionally healthy, responsible, and reliable child.

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UNINVOLVED PARENTING CONSEQUENCES WRITEN BY: LIZA JOHN

No two parents are ever the same, from financial backgrounds, family, support systems and various other factors everything is different. Hence, it is no surprise that different parents have different ways of bringing up their children. Although these differences exist, there are certain patterns or similarities found in various parenting approaches and based on these similarities parenting styles have been categorised as authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and uninvolved. The rest of this article will be focusing on uninvolved parenting and its consequences. What Is Uninvolved Parenting? As the name suggests, the uninvolved parenting method is when all the basic needs of the child are met, but parents have little or no involvement with the day-to-day activities of what is happening in their child’s life. In some extreme cases, parents might fail to provide the children with even the basic necessities. Thus, uninvolved parenting is also called neglectful parenting. Neglectful or uninvolved parents rarely try to set boundaries or discipline their children. Nor do they provide guidance of any sort. In simple words, the child is left to fend for itself. Factors That Cause Uninvolved Parenting Uninvolved parenting could be adopted intentionally by some parents. For instance, because they have been brought up under similar circumstances or as they believe that it is the right way to bring up children. It is common in such parents to believe that such a parenting style would help their children to take care of themselves and become independent at an early age, however in most cases this is far from true. Usually, uninvolved parenting is a result of other factors in life such as financial backgrounds, lack of a support system or the environment. Parents may be unable to find the right work-life balance and hence end up being unable to meet their responsibilities as parents. In cases where parents are dealing with issues such as depression, substance abuse or other mental health issues, they may not realise how uninvolved they are. Consequences Of Uninvolved Parenting The negative traits of neglectful parenting are more pronounced than its benefits and hence uninvolved parenting has been dubbed as the worst parenting style. Though it may be likely that children 26

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grow up to be tough and independent very early due to such parenting, chances that things go South are far greater. Children raised under a neglectful parenting style also find it difficult to make emotional attachments later in life. They may not easily trust or open up with people which makes it difficult to make healthy relationships. Moreover, such children may easily fall prey to substance abuse or alcoholism or cause self-harm. Children growing up in this atmosphere may grow up with low selfesteem and may not be able to connect with others or form good relationships. They may feel unwanted or unworthy of affection and need emotional support to help them get out of their problems. Children who are brought up by neglectful parents often feel neglected, lonely and have to learn from his or her own mistakes. In an academic context, involved parenting keeps the child on track. Allowing the child to do as they please, can have tremendous negative impacts, leading to a lack of self-control, impulsive behaviour and self-acceptance issues. The child may grow up without a belief system or regulated discipline. Uninvolved parenting method may not condition the child into believing a certain pattern works for life (this might perhaps be the only benefit). This mode of parenting may cause the child to have difficulty in opening up, be involved in social activities and act impulsive or not be able to keep track of oneself. Final Words The manner in which a child is brought up and made to feel, impacts his or her future tremendously. It is crucial for a child to feel wanted, listened to and cared for. Uninvolved parenting is a parenting style where parents do not or are unable to connect to and fulfill the emotional needs of their children. On the other hand, authoritative parenting includes involvement and imposing certain restrictions when necessary. Spending time with children and being a part of their life builds trust and thus gives rise to healthy relationships. In the initial years of growing up, children look up to their parents as idols or role models and try to copy their actions. Bonding between parents and children is critical in the early years and this can happen only by spending time together and communicating. MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

BOOK e

by: Amy Adeney from Busy Bookworms

M O AN D CR OW BY JO KASCH AND JONATHAN BE N T L E Y “Mo lived alone and he liked i t t hat way . He had a house to protect him . A nd a wal l . Mo trusted his wall. It kept e v e r y t hi ng out he wanted kept out.” U nt i l t he d ay that Crow came into his smal l and t i d y life off ering the one thing Mo d i d n’ t e v e n realise he was missing - friend shi p . Th is is a b ea u t if u l st ory a b o u t b r ea k i n g d own b a rriers a n d d isc ov erin g th e j o y s o f c omp a n ion sh ip , f rom t h e b rill i a n t c r ea ti v e t ea m of Jo Ka sc h a n d a wa r d -wi n n i n g illu st ra t or Jon a t h a n Ben t ley . T h e q u i r k y , h u morou s illu st ra t ion s will b e i n s ta n tl y a p p ea lin g t o rea d ers a ged f ou r a n d u p .

BLU E F LOWER BY S O N YA H A RT N E T T A N D G A B R IE L EVANS A yo ung c h i l d d es c r ib es h er q u alm s about going t o s c h oo l a n d h o w h ar d s h e f inds ask ing t h e t e a c h er fo r h elp , h o w s he f eels shy a bo u t m a k i n g fr ien d s , n o t b ein g funny or a f a s t r u n n e r . Bu t t h r o u g h h er l ove of art , a c o n v e r s a t io n wit h h er m o t her and he r o bs e r v a ti on s a b o u t n a t u r e s h e comes to se e th a t b e i n g d iffer en t mig h t n ot be a ba d t hin g a f te r a ll. T h is is a g e n tl e ex ploration of a c h ild ’s realisa ti o n t h a t i t is he r individual differen c es an d c rea t i v i ty that mak e he r s pe cial, wit h stunnin g i l l u s tr ations that delicately a n d sen sit iv e l y co n v ey the child’ s e mot ion a l jo urne y . A b e a u tiful and important st ory t o sha re w i th r e a d e r s aged four and up.

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WH ER E IS T H E D R AGO N? BY LEO TI MMERS In the middle of the night, t hr e e k ni ght s go looking for a dragon. The k i ng won’ t sleep until they find it. The k ni ght s k now everything about dragons, so wi t h onl y one candle between them, th e y go out i nt o the darkness. But in the dar k , not hi ng i s what it seems… Is that a dra gon? A t t ac k ! Th is is a n ot h er st ella r p ic t u re b o o k b y N ew York Times Best Illu st ra t ed B o o k r ec i p i en t Leo Timmers. Wit h f a b u lous r h y m e, a n d h u morou s in t era c t iv e illu str a ti o n s , th i s b ook will b e a firm fa v ou rite f o r r ea d er s a ged t h ree a n d u p .

MAYBE… BY CH R I S H A U G H TO N T hre e l i tt l e m o n keys , an d t h eir big mo nk ey , s i t h i g h u p o n t h eir b r a nch in th e f o r e s t c a n o p y. “ O k, m o n keys ! I’ m off ,” s a ys t h e b i g m o n key. “ No w r eme mber. Wha t e v e r y ou do , d o NO T g o d o wn to th e m a n g o tr e e . T h er e a r e t ig er s down th e r e .” M m m … ma n g o s ! t h in k t h e little mo nk ey s . T h e y LO V E ma n g o s . H mm ... ma ybe … m a y b e t h ey c o u ld ju s t look at th e man g o s ? T h a t ’ d b e o k, r ig h t ? This is a f u n n y , s us pens e ful and keen ly obse rv e d ca u ti o nary tale about pu sh in g bo u nda r i e s a n d indulging your more misc hiev o u s , ch ee k y s ide ( w hen nobod y is l o o kin g ) . T h i s h i l arious and highly rela t a b le s to ry w i l l b e e n j oyed by readers age d t h ree and u p.

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why and how parenting styles matter WRITTEN BY: Feba Maryann

‘What kind of a parent does my child see me as?’ is a question that often plagues the minds of many parents. This kind of thinking is a sure sign of the desire to be a better parent. Even though choosing how to raise your kids is a private matter, experts believe that certain parenting styles nurture children better than others. Good parenting starts right from the moment a child is conceived. Raising kids can be frustrating but also rewarding if done properly. Moreover, it is a wellknown fact that childhood lessons and experiences shape the adult that each child becomes. This is why choosing the parenting style should be done with utmost care. Impact Of Parenting Styles On Children According to psychologists, there are four basic types of parenting. Each of these parenting styles produces drastically different outcomes in children because of the difference in levels of parental involvement, communication, warmth, and methods of disciplining. Authoritarian Parenting Obedience is the prime concern of parents here. They enforce their rules harshly and do not stand for negotiations. Constantly seen giving orders to 34

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the children, the relationship lacks warmth and communication most of the time. Low self-esteem is a common trait that children under authoritarian parents possess. Since parents refuse to involve the children in any problemsolving, they find life as adults confusing. They tend to look for someone else to make decisions for them and always fear making the wrong choice. These children also tend to be less trusting and highly emotionally distant in adulthood. Permissive Parenting Leniency and easy forgiveness are expected in the permissive style of parenting. They interfere very less and remain of the standing that parents should be more like friends. A superficial relationship is formed with the parents because disciplining is almost non-existent. While the permissive style of parenting seems attractive in many ways, it results in a lack of selfdiscipline in children. Their academic performance is poor, and they run higher risks for diseases. Some children under this parenting develop poor social skills due to a lack of boundaries. There is a high chance that children may become over-demanding or indulge in attention-seeking MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

behaviour during adolescence. On the brighter side, since the parents interfere little in their life, children can make judgments for themselves. Disengaged Parenting Disengaged parents wait for their children to raise themselves. Providing only minimal attention and guidance, these parents rarely know the whereabouts of their children. Rules are almost non-existent and never enforced. The parent-child relationship lacks warmth and seems neglectful at times. This style of parenting is extremely unsuitable for children since they do not receive appropriate care and attention. It can cause children to become sad, angry, or resentful at the people around them. Disengaged parenting makes young children believe that their needs will never be met. These kids develop into insecure and unhappy adults. Authoritative Parenting Also described as supportive parenting, this is regarded as the form of parenting that yields the best results. Here, there is a positive relationship between both the involved parties. Adequate care, as well as attention, is given to the children to facilitate proper development.

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Parents have rules set in place and enforce them, but they also negotiate with the children about it. More than punishments, these parents support their children to correct their mistakes. Authoritative parents also use a regular reward system to reinforce good behaviour in children. Children who grow in such environments feel validated. They are ranked as more successful, happier, and emotionally stable as adults. These children are adept at evaluating their own problems and making sound judgments. Final Thoughts Some people follow their parents’ footsteps in parenting while others implement the polar opposite of what they grew up with. The popular opinion is that authoritative parenting is the most suitable since it promotes healthy family bonds and is more likely to produce happy and overall well-adjusted children. Parenting styles create a difference in how a child grows to see themselves and the world around them and how they interact with it. Many parents develop their own parenting techniques by combining various styles. Certainly, parents should continually work to find different ways to appropriately nurture the children. MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

WHAT SHOULD YOU EXPECT WITH A MULTIPLE PREGNANCY? Written by Liza John

Having more than one bun in the oven can be exhilarating. Multiple pregnancies are more common in women who become pregnant naturally in their 30s and 40s, or those who have undergone IVF treatment to conceive. Carrying singleton pregnancies to full term is no small task and if you are expecting twins or triplets, the rewards, as well as the risks, increase. All the behaviours deemed healthy in single pregnancies remain true for multiple pregnancies as well. If you have recently learned that you will be receiving more than a single bundle of joy at once, read ahead to know more about what to expect throughout the duration of your pregnancy: Increased Morning Sickness If you are getting multiple babies in one pregnancy, then you will have to weather worse morning sickness than the ones singleton pregnancies go through. Hormones like hCG, progesterone, relaxin, and estrogen are behind this nasty and unpleasant ordeal. Speaking simply, more young ones mean more hormones which lead to worse symptoms. Getting Bigger It is no new knowledge that pregnancy is going to result in a big belly. Baby bumps with only one bean inside can go unnoticed well into the first trimester but expecting to do the same here is a pipe dream. Here’s a fact — multiple pregnancy means a big belly. Even though the development varies across individuals, stay 40

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prepared and get those stretchy maternity pants ready. Reduced Mobility With great power comes great responsibility and with a big baby bump comes reduced mobility. Unlike carrying a single baby, the bulk of multiple babies along with the usual trials of pregnancy means that getting up without support or staying on your feet becomes next to impossible. A New Friend In OB/GYN Without a doubt, individuals expecting more than a single kid at once will be seeing their doctor more often than their singleton counterparts. More diagnostic scans to check the growth of the babies and extra care for the mothers going through the risky pregnancy means you get to develop a special bond with the technicians, nurses, and doctors. Complications To Expect Extra medical attention is essential while expecting in higher-order multiples. More often than not, premature birth is seen in cases of multiple pregnancies and the babies arrive before the prescribed 40 weeks are up. Pregnancy can take a toll on the mother’s health and carrying multiple babies at a time puts the mother at a higher risk for: • Anaemia: Usually caused by iron deficiency and leading to not having enough red blood cells, anaemia can leave the expecting MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

mother more fatigued and weaker. Severe anaemia can cause dizziness and increased heart rate. • Gestational Diabetes: This is a kind of diabetes that appears during pregnancy and goes away after giving birth. There is an increased risk for the condition to present in multiple pregnancies and the individuals who develop the condition have a higher chance of developing type 2 diabetes at a later stage. This is why individuals expecting more than one baby at a time should take a glucose tolerance test. • Pre-Eclampsia: Also known as hypertension, this condition results in potentially dangerous forms of high blood pressure. • Hyperemesis Gravidarum: Unlike the usual morning sickness, hyperemesis gravidarum or severe morning sickness results in prolonged nausea. Accompanied by excessive vomiting which leads to dehydration, the condition usually needs hospital treatment. To prevent unnecessary complications during the gestation period, remember to take help from a health care expert who has attended to a multiple pregnancy before. Postpartum Trials Pregnancy, having taken a massive toll on the mother’s body, does not end with childbirth. A significant portion of the new parents goes through postpartum depression. It is the

depression that appears in mothers between one month into the pregnancy and one year after giving birth is termed postpartum depression. Adjusting to the changes brought on by additions to the family can certainly be taxing. Multiple pregnancies run a higher risk of developing this condition and necessary help should be given to manage it. Another condition that individuals going through multiple pregnancy are prone to is postpartum haemorrhage. This is the heavy bleeding that appears after giving birth. It happens when the uterus has not contracted enough. Not giving immediate attention to the condition can lead to shock and death. Bottom Line Even with the complications involved, expecting in higher-order multiples means more love and joy to share. At the same time, it is crucial to provide a little extra care to the mother so that the pregnancy goes smoothly. Carrying more than one baby at a time puts the mother at high-risk. Therefore, do not forget to choose a medical practitioner who has prior experience in providing care during a multiple pregnancy. Be sure to get advice from other parents who have gone through similar situations to build a strong support system for yourself. Expecting parents should prepare themselves wisely during the gestation period and get ample rest during this time to be in their top form when the babies finally arrive.

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Suitcase Hamper Gift Box Grey $66 koch.com.au

Metal Pop Pendant Light $99 templeandwebster.com.au

MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

Handmade Braided Navy Blue Round Rug $140 homedezines.com.au

Grey Knitted Bunny By Es Kids $24.95 thegiftedit.com.au

Under Construction White Quilted Quilt Cover Set $109.95 adairs.com.au

MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

k i d s Photo: bluebrontide.com

SONGESAND $149 ikea.com/au

Ombre Blu Surf Stripe Quilt Cover Set $14 spotlightstores.com

Hard Sided Collapsible Fabric Storage Container $17.50 amazon.com.au

MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

Jaden Dining Chair $99 lifeinteriors.com.au

Natural Samuel Wooden Desk $439 templeandwebster.com.au

Stacking Cube - White $12 kmart.com.au

MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

establishing healthy boundaries after the baby is born Written by Feba Maryann

The arrival of a new child spells confusion for a family. Everyone is yet to find their footing with a new baby in their life and parents tend to feel overwhelmed. To avoid such chaos and tears, it is highly advised to establish some boundaries postpartum. Telling your parents or friends that you might not make it to brunch has many benefits when you have a baby to care for. Having a new baby also means hordes of relatives lining up to visit and spend time with the baby. Read ahead to find why establishing healthy boundaries postpartum is crucial for the parents as well as the baby. Need For Routine You have a new baby and certainly, it takes some time to get adjusted to the motions of parenthood. For at least a year after birth, new parents can be found trying to feel confident in their abilities to take care of the baby. Most parents have a rough schedule of how to manage childcare and other duties together. Family and friends visiting unexpectedly or traveling to meet family can throw a wrench into the carefully set schedule. Besides, the baby might have its own established schedule of waking, sleeping, and eating. Unexpected guests who wish to spend time with the child will 56

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disrupt this cycle and make the baby cranky. To Stay Healthy Postpartum looks different for everyone but excessive bleeding, hormonal imbalances, and breast tenderness are highly common. Adding stresses like hosting dinners and parties will surely affect the mother. Surround yourself with people that you are comfortable with and those who will aid your recovery. Also, patience is of utmost importance while recovering, new parents should understand that luncheons and parties will be held in the coming years as well. Besides, newborns do not have a fully developed immune system. Sudden and prolonged exposure to allergens and germs is not ideal for them. At times, young children may also get overstimulated by new people and places. Thus, refraining from a load of new activities will be beneficial for all the parties involved. Bonding A family will need time to adjust itself to its new addition, especially when there is more than one child involved. Everyone has different levels of intimacy with people, therefore, choosing people from your MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

intimate circles to be around you is a healthy practice. Saying no to those who exhaust you or are unsafe to have around a baby is not selfish. Put yourself and your baby first. Attempts to set boundaries with in-laws and parents have about a million ways of going awry. This is a fact that expecting parents worry about, making most of them fail in establishing boundaries. Here are a few tips on how to go about doing it the right way: Communicating Well The pregnancy period is the best time to start talking with your family and friends about your postpartum expectations. This will give them time to process and understand your decisions. Expecting parents can also make use of this time to discuss each other’s wishes about the future. Expressing your needs and wishes to others can be difficult but doing it is completely worth the effort. Building A Support System Having a sibling or a friend to support your need for space can be of much help. A support network can also come in handy when parenthood becomes

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overwhelming and you need a shoulder to lean on. Finding a group of people who are ready to help you anytime will be appreciated when you need a babysitter or have some emergency errands to run. Trial And Error After establishing some boundaries, if you feel that it is not right for you or the baby, express your desire to alter them. Let in more people if you need to or stay away from events that you do not want to be a part of. The whole process is about learning what is good for you and your baby, everything else can be dealt with later. Bottom Line Parenting is a skill that takes many years to master. New parents always need space and time to acclimatize themselves to their new baby. Family and friends will have advice and suggestions on parenting, but at the same time, new parents should try to figure out the basics themselves. This will help them bond with the baby and make lots of memories. This is why establishing healthy boundaries is extremely important and should be respected to have a pleasant experience.

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HOW TO ENJOY LIFE MORE WITH YOUR NEW BABY Written by Feba Maryann

After receiving the wishes, blessings and love on behalf of the adorable human you and your partner are now responsible for, you may have hit a roadblock — how does one enjoy life while taking care of a newborn? Going through the dizzying motions of childcare can leave little to no room for all the exciting activities you were previously a part of. Midnight nappy changes and incessant screaming might be part of your new normal, just like all the gummy smiles and warm cuddles. If you are feeling a little lost on how to make the best of life while taking care of a newborn, you have come to the right place. First And Foremost, Bonding Time How can one enjoy life more with a new baby? Spend time with them, of course! Take time to marvel at those squishy cheeks and tiny toes. Capture pictures to get a few good laughs in the future. Take your baby out on walks and show them the wonders of nature. Because before you know it, they will be off to college and you will be left thinking about how fast they grow up. Become A Scheduling Maestro Routines are very important when it comes to babies. Establishing a time frame to feed the baby, 62

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play with them, and put them down for naps can go a long way. This will clear up a lot of time for new parents like yourself to take some time for themselves. Using this time to calm down and center yourself can be beneficial to the baby and yourself. After your baby gets a little older, try to follow your routine and take your kid along with it rather than building your day around their schedule. This way you can satisfy the needs of both parties. Understand The Importance Of Sleep Being a new parent and being sleep-deprived are almost synonymous. Running on a few hours of sleep is never pleasant and can leave you knackered even after a small task. Most of the time, it is unavoidable to be woken up in the middle of the night but you can try catching up on sleep by napping while the baby does. Getting a healthy amount of sleep can make your mood more stable and will make you more attentive to the baby’s needs. If you are someone who has always had trouble with sleep, watching your caffeine intake, monitoring your screen time, and meditation could help you sleep a little better.

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Tap Out From Competitive Parenting As a parent, without a doubt, you are proud of your child but this does not mean you need to compare your child with another one. Different babies develop at different rates and obsessively hoping for your child to achieve milestones earlier than the others is not healthy. There is more to a child than reaching milestones and competing with others in this matter will harm you and your baby in the long run. Taking Time-Out New parents and newborns do not need to be joined at the hip 24/7. It might be surprising but your newborn baby can get tired of being with you all the time. Experts say that contact between the parent and child is necessary for development but if you and your baby need a few minutes away from each other, take it. Pass on the baby to your partner, a nanny, or to that friend who is a lifesaver. Then, when you can come back to it, your baby will be happily ready to spend some more time with you.

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Self-Care New parents get extremely wound up in meeting the needs of their little ones that they forget to pay attention to themselves. Understandably, you might be extra conscious about ensuring the baby’s comfort and safety but try not to sweat it. Evolution has made sure that you are well-equipped to ensure your child’s well-being. Take a breath ...and maybe a warm shower. Make yourself feel good both physically and mentally. Going through the motions of parenthood may not be as intellectually stimulating or exciting but make sure that you enjoy what you do. If you are a parent holding a job, a newborn baby can make you feel a little stretched thin. Communicate with your partner and never hesitate to ask for help. An extra hand to help you does not make you incompetent. Bottom Line Parenthood is a carousel of needs to be met and things can get crazy. As a new parent, your primary goal should be to be a part of the baby’s life in a way that is enjoyable and beneficial for both. Parenting is one of the few things that cannot be done entirely by the book. Improvise, find what works for you and your family, enjoy the experience. MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

T O Y r e v i e w s

by: SHEREE HODDINETT

LEAPFROG PURRFECT COUNTING HANDBAG $34.95

4/5

Sui t a b l e fo r : 6+ m o n th s Me e t t h e P u r r f ec t Co u n t in g H an d bag. This soft, multi- textured, fabric c at hand b ag co me s w i th l o a d s o f p er s o n alit y , accessories, and learning content. T he L e ar n, P r e t e n d a n d M us ic m o d es a d d p layf ul variety to learning. Press the ligh t -up j e we l s o n t he i n t e r a c t ive t iar a t o lear n about numbers and counting, colours and shap e s. To ddl e r s l o v e to fill t h in g s u p , u n l oad, and fill again, and this two- handl e d hand b ag st a nd s u p r i g h t an d wid e o p en t o make filling it easy. Fine motor skills ge t a wor k out a s lit t l e f i n g e r s p ic k u p an d g r as p the f ive included accessories: pretend sm ar t p hone , I D t a g w i t h k i d -s a fe mir r o r , key s et, comb, and non- removable circle coi ns i n a c oi n purse. Al l a c c e ss o r ies s t o r e in s id e the handbag. Enjoy this take- along f e l i ne f r i e nd w ho t e a c h e s w it h a wo n d er fu l s en se of humour.

Our Ve r d i ct – I t really is the purrfect first h a n d b a g for y ou r lit t le on e. It ’s n e v er to o ea r l y to st ar t th e m g etting us ed to carryin g a b a g ev ery wh ere t h ey go! So wh y n ot ma k e i t o n e the y c a n p l a y w ith as w e ll? ! L et’ s fa c e it , kid s like n ot h in g b et t er t h a n empty i n g o u t th e c o nt e n t s o f o u r bags w ith k e ys , wallet s a n d ev ery t h in g else b ein g sp rea d fa r a n d wi d e f o r yo u t o s t a r t f r a n tically s e arching at t h e la st min u t e. Wit h t h eir own v ersion ( th ey ’ l l s ti l l m ake a b e e l i n e for yours anyway) it ma y giv e y ou t h e ext ra d ist ra c t ion y ou n eed to k eep the m e n te r t a i n e d for a little w hile lon ger. It ’s sma ll en ou gh t o keep st ored awa y a t h o m e o r in a b a g f o r w hen you’ re out and a b ou t . As a lwa y s t h ere’s t h e a d d ed b on u s o f a b i t o f le a rni n g p l a y too plus s ome colour a n d loa d s of fu n ! Ava i l a bl e fro m: B i g W a n d l ea pfrog .com.au 68

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LEAPFROG PICK UP & COUNT VACUUM $49.95

4/5

Sui t abl e fo r : 2-5 yea rs Co unt on p i c k i ng u p lear n in g w it h the Pick Up & Count Vacuum. This sm ar t v ac uum t o y pi c k s u p 1 0 p la y d u s t p iec es as kids roll the vacuum over them, encouragi ng m ot or sk ills a s t h e y e as ily m a n o eu vr e t h e pretend vacuum around the room. As t he v ac uum pick s u p t h e d us t p iec es , it r ec o gnises each colour and helps children wi t h c ol our re co g n i ti on . B o u n c in g b a lls in s ide the spinning vacuum canister adds e x c i t e m e nt t o pr e t e n d ti d yin g . T h r ee p la y m odes teach colours, numbers and count i ng wi t h si x le a r ni n g g a m e s . Five lig h t -u p p a n els illuminate to match the colour of the p i e c e t he va cuu m p i c k s up , a n d t h e vac u u m says the colour name and counts t he p i e c e t o re inf o r c e l e a r n in g . A d u s t b in o n the back collects and stores all 1 0 dust p i e c e s.

Our v e r d i ct – T he y s ay imitation is t h e h igh est f orm of f la t t ery a n d lot s of k i d s l i k e to c o py th e i r p a r e nts at s ome point, e sp ec ia lly wit h h ou sework. Bu t I c a n ’t h el p b u t f eel a n o p po r t u n i t y w a s w e ll and truly mis s ed wit h t h is t oy - t h e b iggest d own sid e t o th i s v a c u u m is it do e s n ’t cl e a n up the re al mes s ! Th a t ’s n ot good if y ou rea lly wa n t t h e kid s to h el p wi th t he h o u s e w o r k ( othe r than jus t cop y in g y ou of c ou rse!). An d let ’s b e h on es t, wh i l e k i d s d o n’ t a l w a y s d o the greates t job, any h elp migh t b e b et t er t h a n n on e! So ess en ti a l l y th i s vac u u m t e a ch e s them the fundamen t a ls of c lea n in g wit h ou t d oin g t h e rea l th i n g . S a m e m o ve me n t a n d idea of colle cting “ d u st ” t oo! So, ma y b e it ’s sort of on t h e r i g h t tr a c k ?! It sc or e s b r o w nie points for be ing a t ea c h in g t oy wit h c ou n t in g, c olou rs a n d n u m b er s , whic h a r e a l w a y s gre at for k ids . B ut y es a rea l workin g t oy wou ld h a v e b een ev en b etter ! It w o u l d ce r ta i nly s top my children f rom wa n t in g t o p la y , wh oop s I mea n c lea n , wi th th e re al v a cu u m ! Ava i l abl e fro m: B i g W a n d l ea pfrog .com.au 70

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top brain foods for toddlers Written by Feba Maryann

Did you know that a newborn’s brain is only a quarter of its eventual adult size? By the age of five, a child’s brain is almost close to the size and volume of an adult brain. This means that prime growth and development of the brain occur before the child turns six. To facilitate the proper development of brain functions like learning and memory, the brain needs nutrients like complex carbohydrates, choline, antioxidants, and fatty acids in ample amounts. This article has been put together to help you find the top brain foods for your toddler. 1. Green Veggies We get that it might be a little difficult to convince your toddler to eat their sprouts and spinach but green vegetables are packed with folate and vitamins which are essential to brain development. Studies have found spinach to lower the risks of developing dementia at a later stage in life. Besides, the antioxidants present in these help protect brain cells from wear and tear. Go make that bowl of zucchini noodle or make a pizza crust with cauliflowers, get creative with veggies. 2. Berries Adding a handful of berries to the toddler’s cereal or yogurt can help them get their required amount of polyphenols. Polyphenols are crucial in preventing neurodegeneration. Diets containing strawberries and blueberries have also been found to improve memory in individuals. Apart from the abundance of antioxidants, berries also contain vitamins that prevent cancer, specifically vitamin C. Go ahead

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and swap the jelly from your classic PB&J with some fresh slices of cherries or strawberries to strengthen your toddler’s noggin. 3. Eggs Best known as a reservoir of proteins, eggs are also equally abundant in choline — a nutrient necessary for memory retention. Found concentrated in the egg yolks, choline also helps improve the communication between the brain and the rest of the body. Eggs are also rich in vitamin A and iron, these nutrients play an important role in the growth and repair of cells. 4. Nuts Nuts have essential fatty acids, vitamins, and minerals to keep the nervous system in check. Thiamine found in this superfood allows the brain to efficiently utilize glucose for energy. Vitamin E is an antioxidant present in nuts that nurtures the nerve membranes and boosts mood. Feel free to include loads of nut butters like peanut butter or pistachio butter in your toddler’s diet now. You can additionally get them snack mixes with nuts and seeds. 5. Fish Fatty or oily fish like salmon, sardine, and herring can be termed as brain food owing to their contribution to protecting a developing brain. These fish are rich in omega-3 fatty acid which plays a critical role in preventing deterioration of cognitive skills and memory. A healthy amount of fish in the diets of kids below the age of ten has been linked to better neurotransmitter function that helps manage behavioral problems.

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6. Whole Grains Carbohydrates are the best source of fuel for the human body. What else is a better source of complex carbohydrates than whole-grain products? Whole grains like oatmeal and brown rice also contain several types of Vitamin B and would aid to repair and restore the nerve cells. In addition, whole grains have been said to bring improvement in shortterm memory capacity and attention. Add whole-grain bread, pasta, and crackers to your young one’s diet to make sure that their brain gets a constant and steady supply of energy. 7. Dairy Milk and milk products, more or less, have all the nutrients that should be consumed in a meal. Teeming with proteins and vitamins, dairy products facilitate the proper production of enzymes, and neurotransmitters. Vitamins B and D present in dairy products also have an important role in maintaining the nervous system. Besides, vitamin D is essential in the proper functioning of the neuromuscular system. Bottom Line Children under the age of ten undergo tremendous developmental changes. Finding an appropriate diet that facilitates these changes can be a little tricky but is completely worth the effort. At the same time, ensure that your ward does not have any food allergies before making changes in their diets. Consult a nutritionist to inquire about allergies and nutritional needs of your child prior to implementing changes. Without a doubt, good food changes people, so make sure that you enjoy the process and that your child loves their food. 76

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HELPING YOUR CHILD DEAL WITH BULLIES Written by Feba Maryann

Imagining that your child is a victim of bullying can be difficult for any parent. In 2015, it was estimated that 22% of school kids face some form of bullying before they graduate high school. From name-calling and mocking to cyberbullying, bullying can take different forms. In no way or form can bullying be termed as ‘character building’ or a rite of passage. Without the child coming forward and admitting to being bullied or having some serious injuries, it can be nearly impossible for parents to find out about their child being targeted at school. Read on to know more about how you can help your child deal with bullies. Noticing The Signs If you get an inkling that your child is being bullied, take a look at some red flags to keep an eye out for. Stomach aches and headaches are the most common excuses used by victims of bullying to skip school. Sudden illnesses in the morning become more frequent. The child might appear more upset or moodier throughout the day. Bullying can also take a toll on the eating and sleeping habits of an individual. Anxiety, restlessness, and difficulty in concentrating are other subtle signs of being bullied in some. 80

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Children who are bullied at school also become more withdrawn in other social settings and refuse to talk about certain aspects of their life. Coming home hungry is another sign of being picked on at school. If you notice the child being reluctant to partake in an activity they previously or providing elaborate reasons to not attend school, try to talk to them about it. These are evident signs to suspect bullying. Creating A Safe Space After noticing that their children are being bullied, parents should create an environment at home that allows for proper communication. Try to let the child know that home is a safe space to talk about their experience and how it affects them. If the parents were victims of childhood bullying, try not to personalize the child’s experience, and encourage the child to open up. Often, children feel ashamed or embarrassed after sharing their trauma, this is when parents need to step into any role that the child needs them to be then — a shoulder to cry on, someone to hold their hand, or just a comforting presence. Let the child know that their parents will always be there for them. Do not get visibly upset, angry, or reactive because the child is in a vulnerable MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

position and this will only make them reluctant to share. Establishing Boundaries By teaching children about the dos and don’ts of a good friendship, parents can help them understand how to establish healthy relationships at school. Coaching children to stand up for themselves and others starts in this manner. Learning to distinguish between a disagreement and persistent victimization can empower kids in all walks of their life. At the same time, teaching kids that disagreements and conflicts are common in relationships is equally important. Not knowing how to effectively resolve conflicts can be a setback to children in their adult life too. Involving Others After learning about your child’s experience with bullies, a critical question that arises is what should be your next course of action. If the incidents have been sparse and not caused severe harm to anyone, contacting the bully’s

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parents is the best option. Connect with the other parent and communicate with them to find a suitable solution with positive outcomes for all parties involved. If the child has taken major hits due to the bullying, it is wise to notify the school authorities and work with them to resolve the issue. Finding a therapist for the children — the bully and the victim — to talk to can be beneficial. Most important of all, make sure that your child knows that you acknowledge their experience and will stick with them throughout the trying times. Conclusion A child’s time at school plays a major role in laying the foundations of their social adjustment. Finding this experience traumatic will do no good for these individuals. Being subjected to bullying in childhood has long-term effects like poorer health and lower quality of life as adults. This is why incidents of bullying should be helpfully dealt with by parents and teachers. While doing so, ensure that you allow the children to experience their emotions and equip them to healthily cope with them.

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tips to cope with being a stay-at-home dad Written by Lance Green

Slowly breaking the age-old stereotypes, dads deciding to be stay at home dads are ever on the rise. Statistics show that for the year 2018, approximately 190,000 married families had a stay-at-home dad. With the changes in perceptions of gender roles and childcare, moms are not the only primary caregivers for the children. Being a parent is hard and being a stay-at-home parent is no walk in the park. With the sudden and drastic changes brought on by being a stay-at-home dad, most men tend to feel lost or overwhelmed. If you are a stay-athome dad or are about to become one, read on to learn some tips on how you can better cope with the situation at hand. Schedule Well If you are new to the whole ordeal of parenting, figure out a routine for yourself and try to stick to it. This way, you can avoid feeling adrift and know what to do in the face of uncertainty. Yes, the baby can throw random obstacles at you like a diaper blow-out or relentless crying but having a semblance of a schedule will help you get through the day. 86

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Besides, having a routine to keep to is good for the kids as well. Remember to include the suggestions given by others who may have more experience in the field. Get Yourself A To-Do List Now that you have a general idea of what the day should look like, it is time to iron out the specifics. Discuss with your partner about the chores — this will help you to avoid disagreements at a later stage — communicate well about each other’s expectations and try to meet as many as possible. If you are working from home, prioritizing tasks can go a long way. Also, get yourself a ‘ta-da!’ list to enumerate all the tasks (no matter how small) that you tackled. Stay organized, stay motivated. Find Some ‘Me Time’ Parents, especially the stay-at-home kind, forget to take a breather. From changing diapers to whipping up meals and managing out-of-the-blue tantrums, stay-at-home parenting is not for the weak. This is why you should take some time for yourself when you have the chance. MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

Indulge in a movie, go for a walk, take a long shower, do what eases the stresses of being a parent. Make sure that you are in peak mental, physical, and emotional condition to be the best parent you can be. Socialise One thing that most stay-at-home parents have to battle is loneliness. Having only kids to hang out with all day long and listening to Baby Shark for the millionth time can have serious effects on a person’s sanity. Connect with other stay-at-home dads that you meet at the park or the school. Try not to be intimidated by the stay-at-home moms who look like they have everything under control. Understand that they are not from a different species; share your experiences, make friends and help each other out. Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help You are a stay-at-home dad, it is no surprise that life gets crazy at times. You may need assistance or guidance occasionally, don’t let this undermine your efforts. Do not think less of yourself for needing another helping hand once in a while. In 88

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fact, here is where all your stay-at-home parents/ friends can help you. Seek help in the form of parenting books, articles on the web (like this one), or another expert. Talk to someone if you feel like things are spiralling out of control. Moreover, believe in yourself and your capabilities to care for your child. Conclusion There is a general social stigma that stay-athome parents are lesser beings than their working counterparts; you know this is not true. Stayat-home dads get the worse of it because of the conventional role of men being the breadwinners and not caregivers. Certain people may try to undermine or emasculate you but we know for sure that there is nothing to be ashamed of in caring for your children. On the brighter side, you get to witness every milestone in your kid’s life and develop a special bond with them. If you are feeling swamped, step aside, take a breather, make sure you are alright, and right back to it. You got this!

MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

HOW TO BE A GOOD LISTENER IN MARRIAGE

Written by Liza John

Maybe your partner has been complaining about how you don’t listen to them and how they don’t feel heard. At first maybe you thought it was just silly from your partner’s side. It’s easy to pass it off as something laughable, but in reality, it is far from silly. Before you know it, lack of communication will result in resentment, emotional disconnect and might even tear your relationship into shreds. But first off, let us appreciate the fact that you took the first step. Maybe you wanted to make some changes or wanted to know the gravity of the issue, well whatever the reason is, what is important is that you’re here now. To find out more about how you can be a better listener read ahead. Empathy Is The Medicine That Humans Need. It is viewing the world through another one’s perspective. Empathy plays a vital role in a marriage. If your spouse is ready to see things through your eyes, listen through your ears, and could look into your heart with their whole heart, that’s when you will start feeling at home. Sometimes your spouse will have to vent about something that happened at their work, and it

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is quite easy to zone out of the conversation. But instead of doing that, try lending them your ears and listen to them whining about how tiring their day has been or how challenging their work has been lately. They don’t expect you to solve all of their problems, but they just want you to listen to it. Your Spouse Needs Time And Attention. Give them your time and attention, simple as that. Make time for them even without your partner asking for it. Even if you have a lot of work to do, try to spend at least a few minutes listening to their TED talks, their hardships, and those tiny boring details of their day. Try to make eye contact with your spouse while they are talking. Show them that you are attentively listening to what they are saying. These little things go a long way, they reinforce the fact that you can be that shoulder for them to lean on. Respect Individual Space Never forget the fact that your spouse is also an individual and they have their own lives to live. It is not necessary that both of you should be together always. There will be times when

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your partner will need their own space; to clear their mind or to get their things done. Instead of creating a fuss over this, give them the space they need. There are going to be times when even you’ll need a break or space from your relationship and that is completely normal too. Just remember that respect goes both ways, and you receive what you give. Hearing The Unsaid Voicing one’s thoughts can be difficult at times. When your spouse can’t find the right words to express how they are feeling, hug them, try listening to the inner voice that they’ve failed to put into words. Make them feel secure and wanted. Assure them that you are there for them and that you will help them figure out whatever is bothering them. Look for other cues like their body language, or tone or attitude. Try to read the room and act accordingly. Share Your Thoughts As Well Try not to bottle up your emotions or keep any secrets. When one is ready to open up and

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the other one is ready to listen with a genuine curiosity, do pour your heart out. Try communicating things without holding them back. Talk about all your problems whether it be financial, trouble with kids, family matters, or personal issues. How can someone know what you are feeling, if you aren’t telling them? Final Words It is very important to make sure your partner gets the motive behind what you are saying and why you are saying it. Show that you understand it, simple gestures like asking them questions and telling them how you might have felt if you put yourself in their shoes. Not everyone can be a good listener, but it is something we need to cultivate. It is very natural for couples to fight. But once you start listening to your partner patiently and try understanding them, you can see yourselves growing on each other. Respect your partner and their decisions. Always communicate, because communication is the key to a healthy marriage.

MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

feeling the pressure WRITTEN BY: Sheree Hoddinett

Do kids ever listen? No really, do they?! I feel like I spend most of my time talking to the wall. Actually, I probably get more of a response out of the wall. I guess it doesn’t talk back or give me epic doses of attitude. I thought I would have more time before I copped the full brunt of a child being so rude and full on. But nope, apparently it’s happening whether I like it or not. And she’s only 7! I swear, I don’t remember being that rude to my mum even as teenager. But I’m sure my mum would politely disagree, haha! I often feel like I don’t always make the right decisions when it comes to parenting. I know I yell when I probably shouldn’t. Swearing isn’t exactly ideal and telling my kids they can find a new family if they don’t like the rules really isn’t the best thing to say either. But kids, especially mine (I know they aren’t alone!), can be so infuriating. And it’s like they know when you’re already in a grumpy mood. Let’s see how far we can push mum before she completely snaps! Of course I usually always bite back, it’s something I do all too well!

With all that in mind, I thought I’d put together a list (some of it very much tongue-in-cheek, other bits might actually work) about what to do when your cherubs have you hanging on by a very loose thread: - If you can’t beat them, join them. No, seriously. When you’re at your absolute wits end and nothing else seems to work, just go crazy like the kids are. Drop everything and make a mess. Do all the sooky noises just like the kids. In the end, it quite often helps lessen the overall bad mood and creates a bit of laughter.

- Don’t be afraid to use bribery. Food, money (be careful if they’re old enough to understand the true value of money!), play dates, trips to the beach or park. Really, whatever may possibly work to alleviate the situation. Although sometimes it can make it harder on you or create even more work, especially trips away from the house. Make the decision based on what will work best in your favour and get you the peace you need!

- Put a movie on for them. Even if they have already been watching something or even if they have seen the movie a million times, give them - Sometimes it’s better a distraction. Give them to walk away. Or run! snacks too. Do whatever Whichever you can achieve works! with the most grace and dignity and your kids can’t catch you. Even better still, - Send them outside if you have somewhere to play and lock the door they won’t find you for for a few minutes (make ages, hide. Make sure you sure they don’t see, haha!). take some good supplies Secretly keep an eye on (something tasty to eat them while you enjoy a and something delicious to cuppa (or wine) and maybe drink) with you. Also make some chocolate so the kids sure you have your phone can’t steal it. on silent so they can’t hear it.

- Don’t be afraid to ask for help, aka reenforcements! Call a friend or family and get them to come over so you can run away. Just kidding! Sometimes a bit of fresh company can change the mood of both you and your kids. It could also go the opposite way so just be prepared for that too. - Last but certainly not least, completely ignore them. Yes, it’s rather childish behaviour and pretty much puts you on the same level as the kids, but sometimes it can have the desired effect. Be prepared for it to backfire as well and they end up annoying you even more. There may be no winners in this one but you can only try. In the end, kids will be kids and you may end up ten or even one hundred times worse off than when you started but it’s worth a shot to see what happens right?! For more “entertaining” reads, check out my personal blog at www.shereekim.com. Until next time…good luck!

MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

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MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

fashion MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

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girls FASHION

UNDER $25 bestandless.com.au

BABY Baby Dress And Gilet Outfit Set $25.00 Baby A-Bar Shoes $10.00

UNDER $20 bestandless.com.au GIRLS Girls Dress $12.00 Bow Boot $20.00

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UNDER $50 seedheritage.com BABY Spliced Tutu Dress $49.95 Glitter Pink Jogger $44.95

UNDER $60 seedheritage.com GIRL Denim Dress $49.95 Confetti Runner $59.95

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SPLURGE melijoe.com/au

BABY Dsquared2 Black Printed Sweater Dress $216.00 Adidas Originals Superstar Velcro Sneakers $62.00

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GIRLS Ralph Lauren Wool Sweater Dress $301.00 Chloé White Logo Sneakers $395.00

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boys FASHION

UNDER $35 bestandless.com.au BABY Baby Smart Set With Hat $35.00 Baby Boy Cord Boot $10.00

UNDER $20 bestandless.com.au BOY Boys Hoodie $8.50 Boys Denim Jean $20.00 Boy Hiker High Top $15.00

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UNDER $40 seedheritage.com BABY Logo Sweater $34.95 Animal Trackpant $29.95 Tab Jogger $39.95

UNDER $60 seedheritage.com

BOYS Honeycomb Knit Sweater $59.95 Classic Jean $49.95 Stripe Trainer $49.95

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MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

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BABY Ikks Navy Overalls Set $125.00 Adidas Originals Superstar Velcro Sneakers $62.00

SPLURGE melijoe.com/au BOYS Molo 3 Lions Road T-Shirt $72.00 Boss Khaki Branded Sweatpants $115.00 Tommy Hilfiger White Glitter Logo Sneakers $102.00

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Baby Boy Color Block Bow Neck Jumpsuit $17.95

Baby Boy Contrast Raglan Sleeve Popper Baseball Jumpsuit $19.95

Baby Girl Ditsy Floral Print Ruffle Trim Bow Front Jumpsuit $18.95

Baby Girl Schiffy Panel Ruffle Trim Jumpsuit $18.95

Boys Patched Sweatshirt & Striped Pants $25.95

Boys 3pack Striped Vest & Bow Tie Shirt & Pants $38.95

Girls Rib-knit Ruffle Hem Tee With Leggings $21.95

Girls Striped Tweed Jacket & Babydoll Dress $29.95

Boys Headset and Camo Print Pullover and Joggers Set $33.95

Girls Tie Dye Hoodie With Joggers Set $21.95 MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

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au.shein.com

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recipes sourced from: growinggoodhabits.health.qld.gov.au MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

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Delicious

Banana, Oat and Berry Breakfast Smoothie INSTRUCTIONS 1

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blend all ingredients until smooth. substitute any of your child’s favourite fruits and serve immediately!

MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114

prep time: 5 mins serves: 1 INGREDIENTS 1/2 cup 1/2 1/2 cup 1 cup

traditional rolled oats ripe banana frozen mixed berries reduced-fat milk reduced-fat Greek-style 1/2 cup plain yoghurt 4 large ice cubes

Quick & Easy

Mini Omelettes INSTRUCTIONS 1

pre-heat oven to 180c.

grease mini muffin tray.

dice capsicum, mushroom and grate carrot.

whisk 6 whole eggs.

divide the vegetables into the muffin tray.

divide the egg mixture into the muffin tray.

cook for 15 minutes or until set and golden on top.

prep time: 30 mins serves: 12 INGREDIENTS 6 1/4 1 4

Large eggs capsicum carrot button mushrooms

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Tuna Rice Paper Rolls prep & cook time: 20 mins serves: 5 INSTRUCTIONS 1

mix tuna, mayonnaise and spring onion in a bowl

dip 1 rice paper sheet in a bowl of water for 30 seconds until soft, then drain on paper towel

place the tuna mix and vegetables in the centre of the rice paper

to roll, fold in ends and roll tightly

repeat until you have used all of the rice paper

INGREDIENTS 1 2 2 tbsp 1 1 1 60g

packet of rice paper sheets tins of tuna in spring water low fat mayonnaise spring onion, finely chopped carrot, grated cucumber, finely sliced 60g baby spinach

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Salmon Cakes with Herb Mayonnaise prep & cook time: 25 mins serves: 4 INSTRUCTIONS

place the salmon, breadcrumbs, egg, lime zest, 3 tsp lime juice and 2 tsp dill in a bowl. stir until mixture comes together and the ingredients are evenly distributed.

with wet hands, use 2 heaped teaspoons of mixture at a time to shape into 36 small round cakes.

heat the olive oil in a large non-stick frypan. cook the salmon cakes in batches over medium heat for 2 minutes each side, or until golden and cooked through. drain on paper towels.

for the herb mayonnaise, mix the remaining lime juice and dill with the mayonnaise and garlic in a bowl. top each cake with a little herb mayonnaise. serve immediately. these can be refrigerated for up to a week so are great for emergency meals!

pair with homemade roasted sweet potato chips and a mixed salad, or basmati or brown rice and some steamed vegetables.

INGREDIENTS

500g 3 tbsp 1 1 tsp 4 tsp 2 tbsp

salmon fillet, cut into 5mm cubes or 415g tinned salmon dry breadcrumbs lightly beaten egg grated lime zest lime juice olive oil

3 tsp fresh dill, chopped low-fat whole egg mayonnaise 1 clove garlic, crushed

1/2 cup

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Spaghetti Bolognaise INSTRUCTIONS 1

cook carrot, onion, zucchini, celery and garlic in a large saucepan over a medium- high heat for 5 minutes.

add mince, breaking it apart with a spatula/wooden spoon and cook until browned.

add tinned tomato, tomato paste, legumes, balsamic vinegar, worcestershire sauce, ½ cup water, herbs and spices (you can add different ones here to make this dish your own).

bring to the boil.

reduce to a low heat and simmer for 20-30minutes or until the sauce has thickened.

while the sauce is thickening, cook the pasta following the directions on the packet.

serve with a small sprinkle of cheese.

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prep & cook time: 15 mins serves: 4 INGREDIENTS 500g wholemeal spaghetti 500g lean beef mince tinned diced/crushed tomato 1tbsp tomato paste 1 carrot, grated 1 onion, chopped tinned legumes e.g. lentils 1 (drained and rinsed) 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar 1 tbsp worcestershire sauce 1 tsp dry basil 1 tsp dry oregano 1 garlic clove grated low fat cheese to serve

Homemade Beef Burger

prep & cook time: 30 mins serves: 4

INSTRUCTIONS

INGREDIENTS 500g ‘heart smart’ beef mince wholegrain or wholemeal burger 4 buns 1/2 iceberg lettuce sliced 1 tomato sliced 1 red onion sliced thinly SAUCE 1/2 cup low fat mayonnaise 1 tbsp ketchup 1 tsp worcestershire sauce 1 tsp tabasco sauce (optional)

form 4 patties with minced beef

cook the patties in a hot frying pan over high heat until well done

to make the sauce put mayonnaise, ketchup, worcestershire sauce and tabasco into a bowl and mix well

cut the buns in half and toast them

spread both sides of the bun with the sauce (1 tsp each side)

put the patties on the bun topped with the iceberg lettuce, onion and tomato

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Berry and Greek Yoghurt Ice Blocks prep & freeze time: 5 mins serves: 6

INSTRUCTIONS 1

place ingredients into a food processor and blend until mixed (hint: if you don’t have a food processor use a fork to mash the thawed berries then mix in the yoghurt).

divide mixture into 6 ice block moulds (hint: if you don’t have ice block moulds use cups and place a popsicle stick in the top).

freeze overnight.

INGREDIENTS mixed berries (fresh 500g or frozen) reduced fat greek 500g yoghurt

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Whole Wheat Strawberry Banana Muffins prep & cook time : 40 mins serves: 8

INSTRUCTIONS 1

preheat the oven to 160c and lightly coat 8 muffin cups with nonstick cooking spray.

in a medium bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and nutmeg. in a separate bowl, whisk together the egg and vanilla. stir in the mashed banana, honey and yoghurt, mixing thoroughly. add in the dry ingredients, stirring until just mixed. fold in the strawberries.

divide the batter between the prepared muffin cups. bake for 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. place on a wire rack until room temperature and serve.

double the recipe and freeze leftover muffins for breakfasts or snacks throughout the week!

INGREDIENTS 150g 2 tsp 1 tsp 1/2 tsp 1 2 tsp 1 2 tbsp 1/4 cup

whole wheat flour baking powder ground cinnamon ground nutmeg large egg vanilla extract medium mashed banana honey non-fat Greek yoghurt strawberries, diced (fresh 3/4 cup or frozen)

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directory 138

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MARCH 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #114