My Child Magazine Issue 122 November 2021 by My Child Magazine

MAGAZINE.COM.AU

ISSUE 122 - NOVEMBER 2021

metal health

EDITOR IN CHIEF

Bianca Medina ART DIRECTOR

Bianca Medina DEPUTY EDITOR

Feba Maryann CONTRIBUTORS

Sheree Hoddinett Amy Adeney Lance Green Liza John Tú Nguyễn Liza Summer Anete Lusina August De Richelieu Pixabay Ketut Subiyanto Jonathan Borba Josh Willink Büşranur Aydın Karolina Grabowska Kampus Production Any Lane Laura James cottonbro

CONTACT

My Child Magazine Newcastle NSW Australia +614 11 572 877 editorial@mychildmagazine.com.au

Contents 6

WHEN TO SEEK HELP FOR

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT

WHY SHOULD YOU TEACH YOUR

POSTNATAL DEPRESSION!

VAGINAL TEARING DURING BIRTH?

CHILDREN ABOUT SEXUAL

HARASSMENT?

CREATING A SAFE ENVIRONMENT

GET THE LOOK INTERIORS

FOR YOUR CHILDREN TO OPEN UP

THEIR FEELINGS

90 DAD READ - THE BENEFITS OF DAD SUPPORT GROUPS

SHOULD YOU CHOOSE A MIDWIFE AND THE BENEFITS

HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR

CHILD’S MENTAL HEALTH

IDENTIFYING A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP DURING YOUR PREGNANCY

HOW TO KEEP YOUR KIDS SAFE

102

FROM THE NEW COVID-19

SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD IS

VARIANTS?

STRUGGLING WITH THEIR MENTAL

HEALTH

BLOGGER -DOING IT COMPLETELY RIGHT OR ALL WRONG

CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDE

BOOK REVIEWS

FAILING TO DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD AND THE CONSEQUENCES!

106 FASHION

116

WAYS TO DEAL WITH AN

BODEN FEATURE

EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN WHEN

124

PARENTING YOUNG CHILDREN

RECIPES

144

MY CHILD DIRECTORY

DISCLAIMER: It My Child Magazine and mychildmagazine.com.au are wholly owned by My Child Magazine (ABN 79 167 787 662). No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in the company or in My Child or mychildmagazine.com.au. My Child contains general information only and does not purport to be a substitute for health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. Reproduction of any material without written permission by the publisher is strictly forbidden. We cannot accept responsibility for material lost or damaged in the post or for any unsolicited manuscripts and photographs. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.

Bianca Medina editor-in-chief

Editor’s Letter Hello Mamma’s and Papa’s, November, here we are! How on earth did you sneak up so quickly and silently? That I’ll never comprehend! Since becoming a mother, I have constantly said that time flies by, and true to form, it gets worse as your child gets older! Go Figure… I do love this time of year though, there is so much to look forward too! I’ll get to spend some quality time with my daughter and without the stresses of home schooling. There is Christmas approaching and that really is a magical time of year, especially when you look at it through the eyes of your child. There are the summer days spent by the ocean and those balmy nights hanging out with family and friends. What’s not to LOVE? There are so many things I need to do to warp up 2021. With December almost upon us and no doubt, going to fly by in a flash, I will just take a moment to reflect on the year so far, take a breath and so that I can really enjoy what lays ahead. Well, until Next Issue,

Bianca oxo

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WHEN TO SEEK HELP FOR POSTNATAL DEPRESSION!

written by: Liza John

Giving birth brings along a lot of changes for parents. Amidst all the chaos it is normal for new parents to feel slightly overwhelmed or anxious. However, the general idea about baby blues should not be mistaken for postnatal depression. Though it presents with similar symptoms, baby blues and postnatal depression are vastly different. Baby blues manifest within three or four days after giving birth and disappear within a week or two of feeling emotionally overwhelmed and anxious. Postnatal depression, on the other hand, is a serious mood disorder that presents in new parents due to hormonal imbalance, prior trauma, pre-existing mental illness, and so on. Postnatal depression can appear anywhere during the first year after giving birth and can last for varying periods in different people. Individuals with postnatal depression experience low moods, feelings of unhappiness, lack of interest in things previously enjoyed, trouble with sleep habits, fluctuations in appetite and weight, as well as negative and guilty thoughts about the baby and their partner. Occurring in 10-15% of new parents, the condition is not that uncommon and is unlikely to go unnoticed in most cases.

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Postnatal Depression & Your Baby Postnatal depression may produce feelings of guilt in parents because they don’t seem to feel the way they are expected to. They may even come to the conclusion that they do not love the newborn and cannot feel close to them. Most of the time, parents with postnatal depression find it difficult to figure out the baby’s feelings and needs. All this leads to a feeling that you are not enjoying parenthood or that you are not doing it right. In some cases, parents even blame the newborn for causing all the turmoil. In many people with postnatal depression, the worry that they will harm their newborn is alarmingly high. Even though most individuals with the condition experience thoughts of hitting or shaking the baby, they rarely go through with it. Fuelled by exhaustion and sleep deprivation, frustration is easy to appear in new parents but talk to someone if you have such feelings. A lot of new parents worry that if they share their negative feelings, the baby will be taken away from them. This is not true because your health expert or midwife wants you to be healthy enough to take care of yourself and your children.

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Preventing Postnatal Depression Entirely eliminating the chances of developing postnatal depression is impossible. Not enough research has been conducted on the topic as such but there are steps to implement in order to prevent it from causing lasting damages. Interventions and support groups by people with similar experiences can be of great help. Health professionals may recommend cognitive behavioral therapy or psychotherapy in case of preexisting mental illness. A few other ways include: • Avoid getting overtired by trying to do everything yourself. Asking for help from your parents and partner will only make your life easier. • Make friends with others who are pregnant or have just had a baby. Making friends may become trickier after developing postnatal depression. This way you will have someone to talk to in times of need. • Do not stop antidepressant medication during pregnancy without advice. This can lead to relapse if you have had severe depression, several episodes, or a recent episode. Discuss the risks and benefits of continuing treatment in pregnancy and breastfeeding with your health professional before

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making any decisions. Remember to keep in touch with them throughout the pregnancy and the first year after the birth for better results. • Don’t hesitate to share the feelings of anxiety and guilt that you have with a trusted person. Letting someone know about your worries can allow them to provide better care for you. Final Thoughts Being depressed does not mean that you are a bad parent. It also does not imply that you are ‘going mad’ and your baby will be taken away from you. Even though you may be separated from your baby for your betterment, you will be reunited once you seem healthy enough to take care of the child. The primary step in seeking help for postnatal depression is sharing your negative feelings with someone around. Once you notify another person of your fears, you become much less of a threat to yourself, your baby, and your partner.

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CREATING A SAFE ENVIRONMENT FOR YOUR CHILDREN TO OPEN UP THEIR FEELINGS Written By: Liza John

Growing up in an environment where children are physically, socially, and emotionally secure is imperative for their healthy development and a successful future. Children who feel a connection with their caretakers and their home tend to exhibit fewer at-risk behaviours later on. Creating a safe and open home for your child is not just about meeting their necessities for survival. While food and shelter form the foundation to nurture a child, parents often overlook the benefits of creating an open and confirming emotional zone for their children. When your child knows that they can trust you and talk to you about their problems, they grow up to be strong, happy, and independent individuals. This can be achieved through many simple methods. Here are a few ways to create a safe environment for your children to open up their feelings: Don’t Yell Take a moment and think back to the last time someone yelled at you. How did it make you feel? It probably made you feel sad or angry, or possibly yes both. No one likes to be yelled at, and children are definitely no exception to this. We all get wrong sometimes or make less than perfect decisions. Children should be taught that it’s okay to make a mistake without stewing about, 14

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feeling fouled or frenzied at. Yelling or shouting can induce fear in children and may prove detrimental to your future lines of communication with them. Let Them Be Kids

“The consequence of not showing affection can cause harm to your relationship with your child as well as your child’s mental and emotional health.”

Playtime is absolutely necessary for learning good motor and social moxie. That’s not to say they should be free to hang off the ceiling or draw on the walls, but rather that they must be free to explore their surroundings and express themselves. Take care to make sure any potentially dangerous particulars are put out and allow them to play, imagine, raise, and dream. Give Them Room to Play with Other Children Too Spending time interacting with their peers can be good for their social and emotional welfare. They’ll see how bearing them can affect others and learn a lot about themselves in the process. Host play dates or allow them NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

to hang out with their friends from time to time. This social interaction is essential to their growth as happy and confident individuals. Display Affection The consequence of not showing affection can cause harm to your relationship with your child as well as your child’s mental and emotional health. Show concern when they’re feeling bad and ask questions about why they’re feeling that way. Talk to them about their day. Allow them to express their heartstrings and let them see yours. Showing your child that you love and care for them helps foster their faculty to develop empathy for others. Displaying kindness will allow them to rear healthy, lasting relations as they grow. Be Honest & Straightforward Children can ask a lot of questions, none of us have all the answers. Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know”. What’s important is to nurture their desire to learn about the world around them. Power their curiosity. Use these questions as a shot to bond with them and suggest you find out together. They’ll appreciate your honesty and begin to develop a love for knowledge and new knowledge that can last all their lives.

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Be Compatible For patterns of good bearing to develop, be compatible in your approach to childcare. These strategies will do no good if a child is confused about what’s awaited of them. It’s important to know how they carry themselves in external contexts too. So, take some time to get to know their preceptors, day care staff, or after school program leader – wherever they spend the top time out of the home. Stay Positive We all face challenges in life, and mostly we respond to those challenges negatively. When unexpected difficulties arise, it can be easy to forget, but having a negative stance will likely only lead to fresh negativity in the future. Don’t let it grow a pattern. Yes, when correcting, it’s important to always use kind words to avoid other sensibilities of hurtfulness. Remember, stay calm when you see the storm brewing with your little one and help them move through the pathway of comfort. Help your child feel the crucial emotion and what goaded the reaction. Playback the cause and reply to see if your child has farther input or is feeling a different emotion. Validate their passions and, if the space allows prompt them to find an answer to the problem on their own. The more you rehearse these pathways to helping your child express their big feelings, the easier they will go. NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD’S MENTAL HEALTH written by: Liza John

Regular visits to the doc, vaccinations, developing healthy eating habits, and encouraging children to be physically active, parents do really go the extra mile when it comes to taking care of their child’s health. Or do they? A 2014 study revealed that about 14% of the young population in Australia aged between 12 and 17 experience some form of mental disorders. The numbers only seem to be going up with the pandemic aggravating this issue. From these reports, it is evident that mental health in children is more often than not neglected. So, what can you as a parent do to take care of your child’s mental health? Let’s find out. Stress Management Throughout life, we are and will be subjected to stress, whether it is a class test, being fired from work, or stuck on the crossroads not knowing what you are doing with your life. There are no methods you can employ to prevent stress. Stress is a part and parcel of life and learning how to manage stress is essential to being successful and happy in life.

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Teach your child healthy ways of dealing with stress, like talking to their loved ones about their problems. Let them know that you are always there for them and that they have your unconditional love and support. While it might be tempting for you to jump in and solve any issues your child may face, refrain from doing so. Encourage your child to solve their problems and guide them if necessary. Improving Self-Esteem Having good self-esteem means that your child is able to find their positives and believe that they are good. This will generally enable your child to lead a happy and successful life. Research suggests that self-esteem and mental health are closely linked. Having low self-esteem in early years of life can lead to addiction, depression, anxiety and having poor relationships. So as a parent, it is crucial that you help your child build good selfesteem. Praise your child on their achievements but be genuine and realistic at it. Children can call your bluff better than you think. Additionally, the goal is to make your child feel good about themselves, not to feel full of themselves.

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Another approach is by giving your child a sense of independence. When you show your child that you trust them with some tasks, they feel good about themselves. This can be asking them to babysit their younger sibling (of course, in the supervision of another adult babysitter) or any random household chore. Nurture Healthy Relationships Humans being social animals, the relationships we have with people play a critical role in our mental health. You are your child’s first point of contact with the outer world. Establishing a healthy relationship with your child is the first step while teaching them about healthy relationships. Encourage them to develop healthy relationships with others. Make avenues for them to connect with their best friends by hosting play dates or connect with others like their grandparents by visiting them from time to time. Healthy Diet What has your diet got to do with mental health? Well, everything! Research suggests that there is a complex relationship between the food we eat and our mental health. Eating well, which means having a well-balanced diet full of vegetables and essential nutrients, could 22

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help improve your child’s feeling of well-being and overall mood. Experts suggest that a Mediterranean style of diet, which includes a lot of vegetables, seafood, grains, cereals, and garlic, can help battle mental health issues such as depression. While setting up a good diet, do not neglect your child’s gut health, so be sure to include probiotics and plenty of fibre in the diet. There are also foods that have been found to produce deleterious effects on the brain. These include caffeine, chocolate, and saturated fat. Obviously, it is going to be impossible to keep your children away from chocolate, the key here is to ensure that they stick to a healthy limit. Stay Healthy Yourself Your children look up to you as a role model and try to inculcate habits you follow into their lives. The way you deal with your own mental health problems can act as a guide for your children. By taking care of your mental health, you also provide your children with a healthier environment to grow. Mental illnesses can seriously affect your family life and children. So do consult a doctor if you find yourself feeling low or find your mood, eating habits or sleep cycle changing. Similarly, spot for your partner as well, and ensure they get professional help if required. NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD IS STRUGGLING WITH THEIR MENTAL HEALTH! WRITEN BY: FEBA MARYANN

Children often express their emotions in the most unexpecting ways. As they go through the ups and downs of life, ways in which how they express their emotions, regulate their behaviour, and function on a normal day might change. What most parents fail to understand is that most mental health disorders that appear in adults can be present in children as well. Due to the symptoms manifesting differently and children’s behaviour often being mercurial, parents attribute the changes they notice in their children to ‘growing pains’. Of all the psychological disorders, disorders in children can be classified into two broad categories─ conditions that present with depressive or anxious episodes and conditions that present with hyperactivity and behavioural issues like delinquency. In order to extend a helping hand to their struggling child, parents need to recognize the warning signs in them. After recognizing these symptoms, you need to take the child to a mental health professional to obtain a proper diagnosis and help them further. Signs To Look Out For Most children quickly bounce back to their normal mood a few hours or days after something has upset them. When there are sudden persistent changes in your child’s behaviour that are unprompted or due to major events like the loss of a loved one or divorce, you need to get concerned. Here are few signs that are seen in children who are struggling with their mental health and if these are noticed for more than a few weeks, it is time to talk to them. • If your child has been throwing tantrums or behaving in an extremely aggressive manner as a response to minor incidents, you need to find what is troubling them and causing the outbursts. Often, outbursts in children can be linked to the emotional turmoil from an underlying learning disorder, loss of parental figures, or bullying at school. • Signs like the reappearance of thumb-sucking or bedwetting are not to be taken lightly either. These usually show up in children who have faced abuse in any form. • Some children suddenly start worrying too much or start fearing situations with unwarranted intensity. They may also lose interest in activities that were previously enjoyed. Some children also become sad for long periods and start crying abruptly. • Avoiding social situations and having trouble interacting with their peers are other warning signs. Such emotional and behavioural changes are, more often than not, signs of depressive or anxiety disorders. 26

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• Physical symptoms like disturbances in sleeping patterns are easier to note in young children. Signs of constant fatigue are something that should not be taken lightly. Sudden changes in eating habits are also something that needs your due attention. • Many children, especially those who are bullied, develop sudden stomach aches or headaches without any physiological reason. Remember that most unaccountable physical problems that may lead to skipping school or social activities should not be attributed to the child’s laziness. • Most of the time, when teenagers show deteriorating performance in school or skip school altogether, make sure that they are not abusing any substance. • Keep an eye out for self-harming behaviour or expression of thoughts about harming others or oneself. Approaching Your Child Now that you have noticed some of the signs mentioned above, try to see if this behaviour is persistent throughout. For this, connect with your child’s teachers, coaches, peers, and other caregivers. Once you have enough information, broach the topic of mental health with your child. This is important before directly asking them about their struggle because many cultures portray mental health conditions as a weakness or something to be ashamed of. Mental health conditions are no one’s fault and there is no shame in asking for help. As soon as you convey this to your child and make them feel comfortable, talk to them about your concerns. If your child does not feel comfortable talking to you about their struggle, give them an opportunity to talk to a trusted person. Make sure that you consult a mental health professional to help your child. Final Thoughts Childhood and adolescence is a time when individuals get exposed to novel experiences that may bring about both positive and negative changes. If you feel that your child is showing signs that they need help keeping up with their normal function or if they are failing to meet developmental milestones, do not hesitate to approach a clinical psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a counsellor. Help given at the earliest is the most beneficial to people struggling with their mental health. NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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BOOK e

by: Amy Adeney from Busy Bookworms

WH AT D O YO U D O TO CELEBR ATE ? BY ASHLEI GH HEI DUCZEK

BARTON

M A RT I N A

In every corner of the globe, as years begin and end, there are many ways to celebr at e with f amily and f riends. A joy ou s b ook t h a t exp lore s th e m a n y d if f eren t wa y s we c eleb ra t e t h e c l o s e o f o n e y ea r a n d t h e b egin n in g of a n ot h er . Wh a t D o You Do t o C eleb ra t e? is a f a sc i n a ti n g l o o k a t f est iv it ies a n d t ra d it ion s from a l l a r o u n d t h e world , f rom C h rist ma s a n d H a n n u k a h to t h e Gia n t La n t ern Fest iv a l a n d L u n a r N ew Yea r. An in t erest in g a n d en gag i n g c h o i c e for rea d ers a ged 4 a n d u p .

CHR IST MA S ALWAYS C OM E S BY J A C K I E F RE NC H & B R U C E WH AT LEY I t’ s Chr i s tm a s E v e in 1932, an d Jo ey, Ellie and t hei r p a r e n t s ar e d r o vin g c at t le in the dro ught. H o w w i ll S an t a fin d t h em on the lon g a n d d u s t y r o ad ? An d w ill t h ere be pudding a n d p r es en t s an d a t r ee in the mo r nin g ? I t d oes n ’ t lo o k likely, b ut Joey kno w s t h a t C h r i st m a s alwa ys c o mes. Fr o m t w o o f A u stralia’ s bes t-loved p ic t u re boo k c r e a to r s co mes a s tory about f in d in g jo y and b e a u ty w here you le as t ex pec t it , an d ho w k i n d n e s s can create miracles. Th is he a rt - w a r m i n g s t ory is a love ly choic e t o sha re w i th r e a d e r s aged 3 and up.

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CH R IST M A S SWI M BY BLUEY Bluey is a six- year- old blue he e l e r p up who loves to play. Along with he r f r i e nd s and family, Bluey enjoys e x p l or i ng t he world and using her imaginat i on t o t ur n everyday life into an amazin g ad v e nt ur e . It’s Christmas Day and it’s t he p e r f e c t weather f or a family swim! B ar t l e b e e i s Bluey’s new toy – how will he c op e wi t h his f irst Heeler Christmas? Blu ey ’s ra n ge of p ic t u re b oo k s h a v e b een a s p h en omen a lly p op u la r a s th e T V s er i es it self . Ch rist ma s Swim h a s B l u ey ’ s c l a s s i c h u mou r a n d c olou rf u l c a st o f c h a r a c ter s , ma kin g t h is a p erfec t Ch ristm a s g i f t f o r Blu ey fa n s a ged 3 a n d u p .

LITTLE BILBY’S AUSSIE BUSH CHRISTMAS BY YV O N N E ME S & JO D Y PR AT T T hro ug h b r u s h an d s c r u b a n d r iver sand, C o me f l a p w i th u s , t h e Bilb y b an d , As w e c h a n g e t h e Au s s ie Bu s h Int o a C h r i s tm a s w o n d er lan d . Jo in a g r o u p o f l i t tle bilbie s as the y hu n t for de c o ra ti o n s to t urn the ir A us tralian b u sh ho m e in t o a m a g i cal Chris tmas wonderla n d , and m e e t s o m e frie ndly animals a lon g th e w a y . T h i s j o y ful rhyming picture b ook s h o w c a s e s A u s tr alia’ s colourful flor a a n d fa una , a n d i n cl u des a bonus puzzle p a ge and C h r i s tm a s c raft activity. A fun a n d en ga g in g r e a d to s hare with childre n f rom birt h on w a r d s .

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WAYS TO DEAL WITH AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN WHEN PARENTING YOUNG CHILDREN WRITTEN BY: Feba Maryann

When your child has been unusually stubborn and uncooperative all day, and you have been woken up at 4 a.m. to change the diaper, at 5 a.m. to distract them from a nightmare, and at 6 a.m. to feed, you have already reached the brink of exhaustion. Now, if your child keeps up the behaviour the next day or if you meet with added stress from work or family, chances are that you will be overwhelmed and unable to watch over your child properly. In case a day takes its heavy toll on you, here are some ways you can continue to parent well while you sort through the turmoil of emotions. Remember That You Are Not Alone, And You Are Not the Worst Parent Sometimes, with all the anxiety that comes from being a new parent, hormones going haywire after pregnancy, or it being a very humid day, you can feel unsettled, and your child might feel the same. To top it all off, if your child has a meltdown, you are not far from following in their footsteps.

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When your emotions are out of control, and you feel like a bad parent, remember to reaffirm to yourself that you are not. Talking to yourself and reassuring yourself that you can manage your emotions and watch over your baby can mitigate sessions of both the parent and child crying in the same room. Dial Your Parents Number When in doubt, call the experts. Your parents will be available to you for most hours of the day and if you cannot find your partner or babysitter to help, the grandparents should make an appearance. Besides raising you, your parents might also have insights from parenting advice from their friends. Even if they don’t bring advice, they will always bring something new and exciting for the child to focus on. As the grandparent and grandchild bond, go get some me time and recharge.

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Join Parent Groups Join hands with others who are in the same phase of life. Compare notes and experiences to find out how each other’s tips and tricks help in difficult times. Ideally, the group can consist of your childhood and college friends who would listen to you at any hour of the day or it can be the neighborhood parent community. Whether it is a support group or friend circle, having a strong support system and a foundation to fall back on can be beneficial when you seem close to a breakdown. Try Meditation This is a long-term plan to center yourself in any stressful situation. Get the help of any app or an instructor to guide you through the motions of meditation. Since the process helps you to become more mindful, aware of body sensations and your emotions, you get to understand your body better. This means you can identify warning signs of a breakdown and try to channel that energy towards something else as soon as you feel overwhelmed.

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Take A Moment to Gather Your Thoughts When your toddler has been kicking and screaming at a public place, the best thing you can do is remove yourself and your child from the situation. Once you have taken your child home and entrusted them to someone’s care, take a walk to expend all that nervous energy. Some time away from all the noise can give you a chance to reevaluate where you stand. Look through your thought process again and see how you could have handled things better or prevent such situations in the future. Summing It Up It is often said that it takes a village to raise a child. Unfortunately, villages are not available at our every beck and call, so you need to arm yourself for this task. More than just material requirements to raise a child, parents need to be mentally and emotionally prepared to raise almost functional adults. As you try to parent children, you should remember to take care of yourself. A parent running on three hours of sleep, excess caffeine, and missed deadlines at work is going to do more harm than good to a child. Only a parent who remembers to take care of themselves will be able to support their child’s wellbeing. NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT VAGINAL TEARING DURING BIRTH? Written by Liza John

It is common for women to experience tearing during vaginal birth. Although the area around the cervix may be swollen or inflamed, it’s still important for many women to have a vaginal birth despite the risk of tearing. Many women report that they feel overwhelming shame about their experiences of recovery time after childbirth, recovery from tears, and pain of labour. But having a natural childbirth with complications doesn’t mean you are “damaged goods”. Let us try to understand vaginal tearing in a bit more detail. What Is Vaginal Tearing? Women can experience tears in certain places during birthing, for example, the perineum or around the opening of the vagina. This kind of tearing is caused by the baby’s head or emerging body passing through the vaginal canal. About 80 to 90 per cent of women have some type of tearing during birth. Most of the time, tearing does not occur as the vagina stretches naturally during childbirth. But sometimes due to reasons like large babies weighing more than 8 pounds, early delivery or use of forceps during childbirth, episiotomy, and so on tearing may occur.

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Although it is normal for women to experience tearing, not all tears are equal. Some are more serious than others. The following are types of tears that occur during vaginal birth: First-degree tear: The perineum stretches slightly but does not tear completely through. Second-degree tear: The second-degree tear is seen during childbirth in most cases. The tearing is however bigger than first-degree tearing and skin and muscular tissues mostly get torn. Third-degree tear: The anal sphincter and perineum area is mostly get damaged in this extreme case of tearing. Fourth degree tearing: Fourth degree tears are very uncommon and is an extreme tear that involves all muscles surrounding the vagina including the perineum area, muscles and rectum. How To Treat or Repair Vaginal Tearing? If you have gone through the first-degree tearing, then it is normal as there will be no proper tearing and it will recover within weeks. But if you have gone through any other degree, then your physician will stitch the NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

perineum and vaginal area. After childbirth because of this tearing, you might face some difficulties in that area. The stitches however will get dissolved in the skin and your vagina and perineum area will come back to normal. However, during the discomfort, the following tips that will surely be help you in coping with the tearing discomfort: • Drink plenty of water, so that the problem of constipation will not arise. • You can use a squirt bottle to wash after the bathroom. • Instead of wiping, use tissue papers to dry yourself. • Do not take any painkillers or medicine unless they are prescribed by your doctor. • Use cooling or sanitary pads to reduce or overcome the pain of discomfort. How Much Time Does It Require to Heal from Vaginal Tearing? The time period required for the healing process of vaginal tearing is dependent on the type of tearing you have. If you have first-degree vaginal tearing, then the healing will be completed within the first week after the childbirth. However, if you have been through, the

second or third degree of vaginal tearing, where stitches have been applied, then the repairing takes about six weeks. The stitches usually take six weeks to dissolve in the skin, however, if you still feel discomfort after these six weeks you should visit your physician. If you are feeling symptoms like fever, pain and excretion of foul smell though you have taken medications, then visit your physician or doctor for treatment. How Can Vaginal Tearing Be Prevented? To prevent vaginal tearing during childbirth, physicians used a technique called Episiotomy. In this technique, the physician gives an outward cut to the vaginal opening so that the opening will happen in a controlled and smooth way without tearing. However, one should note that episiotomy is not an appropriate preventive measure for preventing vaginal tearing. It has been found that episiotomy might cause third and fourth-degree vaginal tearing. You will not have vaginal tearing during the second delivery of childbirth if you have experienced the tearing during the first delivery.

NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

INTERIORS

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NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

Rainbow Wooden Light $49.95 changingseasons.com.au

Lorena Canals World Map / Globe Bean Bag $281 scandiborn.co.uk

Star Child - Sky Blue Fine Art Print $56 moozlehome.com

NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

SHOULD YOU CHOOSE A MIDWIFE AND THE BENEFITS! Written by Liza John

A midwife is a professional and a well-trained caregiver who accompanies you through your pregnancy and shows you the ropes of childcare. Including a midwife in the plan for your pregnancy can be helpful because they assist you in sorting out the overwhelming amount of details that comes in association with pregnancy, birthing plans, and childbirth. At the beginning of the gestational period, you may feel like you don’t need additional help but with time, you may come to the realisation that having a mediator between the medical staff and your-self is crucial. From advocating for your rights to helping you into safe birthing positions, the benefits reaped from having a midwife along the way are endless. Benefits Of Choosing a Midwife Better Chances at Experiencing A Natural And Satisfying Birth Studies show that births with midwives involved have higher chances to take place without medical interventions. More often than not, medical professionals recommend interventions such as inducing labor and C-sections. While they are inevitable in some cases, these interventions can 56

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have life-long effects on both the parent and the baby. Inducing labor with Pitocin results in the blockage of the natural hormone, oxytocin. Oxytocin is important to reduce pain during labor, form a bond between the parent and child, as well as producing milk for breastfeeding. Sometimes, medical professionals administer epidural before the right amount of dilation, which gradually leads to C-sections. A midwife can communicate with the medical experts around you and assert your plans for the child birthing process. They can also ensure and advocate for your rights in a hospital, especially when the doctors are pushing for unwanted or avoidable interventions. Become Financially Safer With a midwife to help you with your birthing plan and removing undue pressure from the medical professional to undergo procedures that you don’t need, your midwife saves you thousands worth of extra medical bills. Pregnancy and childcare are not inexpensive as one might assume, and a good midwife can make things smoother for you.

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Furthermore, even if you are undergoing an extensive procedure, dealing with the aftereffects of the same, years into the future is going to weigh heavily on your wallet. So an experienced midwife now can impact your future as well. More Focused Prenatal Care Your regular OB/GYN sees a wide range of patients every day. For you to receive the best possible prenatal care, there is no better option than a midwife. As you choose a midwife to guide you through the pregnancy, you spend more time together. From getting to know each other and sitting through appointments, by the end of the gestational period, you will have a professional who you can trust through the pains of labor and birthing. Once you have a strong bond, they might even give you tips on coping with the side effects of being pregnant. Authority On Birthing Positions This is another aspect of birthing that gives rise to conflict among the patients and medical professionals. In hospitals, there is very little chance that they will allow you to try any other position than lying flat on your back. Maybe if you come

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across strongly enough, you might get the birthing bar that allows you to sit in a squat-like pose. Even though it seems minor, changes in posture can drastically affect how the baby gets into the birth canal. The easier the delivery, the less chance of tearing you will face. With the support of a midwife, you can try out numerous positions for birthing and work through them while you are in labor. They can also walk you through the pros and cons of giving birth at the hospital or home and choosing water birth over other options. Midwives with experience can give you extensive information on everything you might need to know about giving birth. Final Thoughts Many people seem reluctant to look for a midwife but you need to know how much easier your pregnancy will be with the help of one. Apart from the benefits mentioned above, a midwife will give you their undivided attention. Unlike your OB/GYN or other medical professionals who attend to many expecting parents at once, your midwife focuses on you alone. This can make your pregnancy less stressful and smoother.

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HOW TO KEEP YOUR KIDS SAFE FROM THE NEW COVID-19 VARIANTS? Written by Liza John

The Covid-19 pandemic has thrown all of our lives into what seems like an unending frenzy. New variants and outbreaks around the world mean that we have to get acclimated to the new normal. Schools and educational institutions have slowly started opening their gates to in-classrooms classes. Vaccines for children under 12 years are yet to be made available for children in large parts of the globe. Naturally, parents may feel anxious and have concerns about their child’s safety. The rising concerns about new variants and their impacts on children only add to these concerns. How can you keep your kids safe from the new Covid-19 variants? Covid-19 is shrouded by a lot of misleading or false information. We can’t really afford to take risks when it comes to our children’s lives, so it is instrumental that you have reliable information and strategies to keep your child away from harm’s way. What Are Covid-19 Variants? Viruses are known to mutate or change over time; this applies for the SARS-CoV-2 Virus as well. While most changes do not affect the virus’s characteristics, such as its transmissibility, severity of symptoms, or performance of drugs and vaccines. Some variants termed as “variants of concern” might demonstrate these changes and require more caution. 62

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The variants which dominate, spreading among the global population are Alpha, Beta, Gamma and Delta variant. The Delta variant is causing more infections of Covid-19 in kids, and reports suggest that the cases are more severe. Symptoms Of Covid-19 In Kids Fortunately, enough, Covid-19 seems to produce milder symptoms in children as when compared with adults. The symptoms are the more or less the same as with adults, and include respiratory issues, loss of taste, fever, sneeze, cough or sore throat. In some cases, gastrointestinal symptoms such as vomiting and diarrhoea are also seen. But a large majority of kids tend to have asymptomatic infections. How To Keep Kids Safe? The ideal option would be to prevent exposure to Covid-19 virus by staying at home and not going out unless absolutely necessary. But this may not be a very practical solution, so what else can we do? Let’s see. Prevention Prevention is better than cure, applies to Covid-19 as well. Prevention here is not limited to your child following social distancing or maintaining good personal hygiene, but also includes a collective NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

responsibility to reduce the number of infections all around. With new variants popping up, including the highly contagious ones like the Delta variant, it is best to limit your child’s exposure to potentially contaminated areas. But again, with schools opening up, you may not always be able to keep an eye on your ward or limit exposure. But there are ways to keep prevent your child from contracting Covid-19, such as: • Physical Distancing - Ensure that your child stays at least 2 metres away from strangers or crowds. As much as possible, avoid going to crowded places with your child. In case you go out, ensure that the spaces are well ventilated. • Mask Up - Depending on the local administration, check if your child should be wearing a mask. While wearing the mask must cover their mouth, nose and chin. • Clean Hands - Hand hygiene is imperative to preventing Covid-19, so teach your child to maintain clean hands. Use sanitiser or soap as available. Clean hands before and after touching masks or other possibly contaminated surfaces. Also teach your child to refrain from touching their face if you are out. 64

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What To Do If Your Child Gets Covid-19 Let’s say you failed to prevent your child from contracting Covid-19, and they tested positive. What now? You might naturally start panicking and be anxious. But the important point to remember is that children are highly resilient and only seem to have mild infections. So, the first step is for you to calm down and think straight. • Taking Care of Your Child - Figure out a plan to take care of your child, as in who will be taking care of your child and when. For example, if you live in a household with your spouse and two children, and one of the children tests positive, you can split the household into two parent-child pairs. This way you can minimise contact with each other and avoid spreading it to the other child as well. Every household is different, so what works for you may not work for someone else and vice-versa. Think through your situation and plan accordingly. If you have elderly or people with respiratory issues or underlying health issues in your home, make sure that your child has minimal contact with them, if possible, move them elsewhere until a negative result is obtained. • Keep Your Child at Home - This one is pretty selfexplanatory, do not take your child out of your home unless it is an emergency or until your child has returned a negative result. This would usually mean that your child is to stay at home for 7-14 days. NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

Last Minute

CHRISTMAS G i f t

G u i d e

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NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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Stanton Copacabana - Ivory $49.95 hatsbythe100.com.au NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

FAILING TO DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD AND CONSEQUENCES? Written by Liza John

Discipline is not only good for children, but also necessary for their happiness and well-being. Discipline is as vital for healthy child development as nourishing food, physical and cognitive exercises, love, and other necessities. Failure to discipline a child may result in them being unhappy, angry or even resentful. An undisciplined child could be annoying or draining, and hence may find it difficult to make friends. Not enough discipline can leave children feeling insecure and elders feeling out of control. There are multiple reasons why a parent will not want to correct a toddler. Some parents could be hesitant to correct children because they feel necessitated to avoid conflict or because they don’t want their child to be angry at them. Others may find it difficult to devote time and energy to the task of correcting children. Some may have sour recollections of being corrected during their childhood, and hence may want to go easier on their own moppets by relaxing rules and giving them more slack. But the very fact is, discipline is not about creating conflict along with your child or lashing out in rage. Disciplining, when done in the right manner, is not about trying to regulate your child, but about showing them a way to control their own conduct. It is not just about correcting a child, but about setting clear parameters and consequences for 80

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breaking rules, so they find out how to correct themselves. Why Parents Fail to Discipline Children Let’s be honest, children are a lot of work and disciplining them requires you to be vigilant, consistent and on your toes. Some days you may not feel like putting in the effort and just leaving them be, and you are not alone at that. However, failing to discipline your child and trying to come up with excuses for your child’s indiscipline will have serious consequences later on. Here are a few common excuses that get in the way of a parent trying to discipline their child. •

“Too Tired”

You had a long day at work, and you come back to your child throwing a tantrum. You might be too exhausted to discipline your child, but you need to squeeze out the last bit of energy you have to discipline your child. Think of it as an investment, the more you invest now, the better returns you’ll receive later on and you’ll also need lesser effort down the road. •

Kids Will Be Kids

Kids can be naughty, but you need to draw a clear line between normal and abnormal behaviour. NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

Don’t let your child get away with violating a lot of the rules you’ve set up. Teach them how to make healthier choices. •

Your Child Didn’t Mean to Do It

Children are clumsy and may end up accidentally doing stuff they don’t mean to, but that doesn’t mean you let them go without any consequences. Yes, accidents happen, but you need to teach your child to take responsibility for it. Say your child dropped a sandwich on the floor by accident, you can always ask them to be responsible and help with cleaning it up. Consequences Of Not Disciplining Your Child Parents often fail to realise the consequences of failing to discipline their children, only to regret it later. By the time parents realise these consequences, it would have been too late. So let us try to understand what the potential consequences are as you may have to face if you fail to discipline your child. •

Defiance

Failure to discipline your child may result in your child being rude, obstreperous, rebellious, or aggressive with parents, relations, instructors, or other figures of authority. 82

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•

Social Isolation

Undisciplined children may feel a need to be left alone irrespective of family and confidantes reaching out, not curious about connecting or engaging with others. They may feel distant and may exhibit antisocial behaviour. •

Low Self-Esteem

Over-apologising, seeking constant consolation, and constantly comparing themselves to others. Children brought up without discipline often tend to have a negative image of themselves; they could feel bad, unattractive, unlikable or lack confidence. These factors mean that your child will find it hard to form and keep goodwill and will feel victimised by others. Loneliness and isolation are also characteristic in such children. •

Deception Or Lying

Repeated lying to hide up or avoid consequences for misbehaviour, to get goods or favours, to avoid scores. When children start to lie, it means they understand that others have different beliefs than they’re doing.

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WHY SHOULD YOU TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT SEXUAL HARASSMENT? Written by Liza John

Sexual harassment may be a kind of harassment involving the employment of explicit or implicit sexual overtones, including the unwelcome and inappropriate promise of rewards in exchange for sexual favours. Harassment includes a variety of actions from verbal transgressions to statutory offence or assault. Harassment can occur in many alternative social settings like the workplace, the home, school, or even places of worship. Sexual harassment may happen to adults as well as children irrespective of their ethnicity, religion, caste, gender. There are not any ways to completely avoid sexual harassment, but there are some ways to reduce the dangers and impacts it can have. Media outlets continuously report sexual harassment on a daily basis. The trauma and victim shaming might even lead the victims to suicide. To avoid this and shield our kids, they need to be taught about molestation and awareness must be created from childhood itself. Effects Of Sexual Harassment Victims of molestation may suffer significant psychological effects like anxiety, depression, headaches, sleep disorders, weight loss or gain, nausea, lowered self-esteem and sexual dysfunction. They experience job-related issues as well; from job loss, decreased morale, reduced job satisfaction to irreparable damage to interpersonal relationships at work.

NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

In addition, within the education setting, student victims of molestation may feel pressured to drop a category, change their major or minor, which could steer their lives in a different direction altogether. The physical and psychological distress due to harassment can be detrimental to their future and success. It causes a tense, unproductive and inefficient working and learning environment. Why Should You Teach Your Children About Sexual Harassment? To protect our youngsters from of these, a parent must create awareness among children about harassment and therefore the ways to face them in their life. By teaching the youngsters about harassment they find out how to handle such situations in their lives, at schools, I the workplace etc., Children may face harassment at schools or after school activities like sports time. They have to save themselves in those situations wisely. To protect themselves, children must be informed about the problems that can arise i.e., molestation and therefore the way to best face it. If a parent talks and teaches them, their first choice of sharing such quite issues are a parent. So, to induce through the society altogether the situations and to avoid harassment, one must sit down with their children about harassment and the way to handle the worst situations. If a. child knows a particular thing’s, he/ she may avoid those in their life. So, every parent must teach their children about molestation. There are many ways to safeguard our youngsters from molestation.

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Be Involved Within Your Child’s Life Be involved within the child’s life, so their daily activities are known and moulded in a very positive matter. Allow them to sit down with the parent with none of hesitation. Allow them to share their happiness, hurdles, experiences etc., with the elders. Always choose the caregivers carefully, so they’re safe in class and after school. Notice changes in children and their behaviour and provides freedom to speak about the explanations behind. Make Them Feel Comfortable If your child raises any discomfort with an issue, never allow such issues to repeat with them. While doing so, the kid feels valued and that they can trust us. With such support, we help make the kid feel secure and create a secure environment around them. This makes the kid comfortable and away from harm’s way. Early Communication Always Helps Talking to your child and asking them about unusual situations they faced ahead always helps. As you create the primary move, it helps the kid feel that it’s okay to talk about all the insecurities they faced. This also helps in making the kid awake to issues like what’s molestation and the way does it affect child life beforehand. Conversation about harassment could be a part of safety conversation. All you would like to grasp is when to talk and the way to talk about this issue along with your child. It’ll be better if you begin speaking on such issues as early as possible. By helping them in handling such situation, you’re giving more strength and power to them. 88

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THE BENEFITS OF DAD SUPPORT GROUPS! Written by Liza John

The expectations and social stigmas associated with being a father have changed markedly. From being a distant, authoritarian figure, fathers today are expected to be involved in all stages of pregnancy and afterwards, nurturing the child. Fathers also face the emotional and mental challenges as with mothers. But mother support groups are widely present and utilised by most mothers, the same cannot be said about father support groups. Many fathers do not realise the benefits they can reap by joining father support groups. These groups often contain many experienced fathers who can easily help new fathers on their way to becoming better parents and enhance their parenting skills which will ultimately result in a better future for their children. Additionally, these groups also help combat feelings of isolation and other issues that are limited to fathers. Let’s take a deeper look into what benefits are offered by father support groups: Father Support Groups Help with Guidance Many of the new inexperienced fathers who are facing problems related to childcare can easily 92

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get guidance from experienced fathers who have already faced the same kind of problems and very well know how to solve those problems. For example, if a father is worried about the lack of intimacy or sex after delivery, he will most likely be able to figure out solutions by approaching the support group and learning how other fathers coped with this problem. Dad Support Groups Offer Friendship Along with problem-solving help in making good friendships with other fathers present there with whom they can discuss their child’s problems along with their problems which can act as the best stress buster for them. Dads can hang out with people who are going through the same phase as them and understand each other., A Father Support Group Is A Resource Hub In case you are looking for resources and information on how to become a better dad, there is no better place to look than a father support group. These groups will help you balance your career prospects as well as childcare. You might also be able to find resources on maintaining your finances and health care in the event your child gets sick.

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Groups Let You Feel Normal When you are regularly in touch with other fathers, talking about your problems as well as hearing their problems, you realise that what you are going through is a normal phase of your life. You slowly acclimate to parenting and turn it into your daily habit. Fathers become relaxed as they know, that if in case they run into any obstacles, their support group has their backs covered. Father Support Groups Might Be Your Most Affordable Option We can consider groups as the best and affordable option to address a father’s emotions. Other options like therapy sessions might put a hole in your pocket. In case you need to babysit your kid, a daycare or babysitter might charge you a fee. At the same time, if you ask someone from your support group to take care of your baby, they might do it for free, provided you assure them that you’ll do the same for them when they need it. To top it off, most father groups only charge a nominal fee.

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Groups Help You Understand That This Will Pass This group helps you understand that parenting and bringing up a child is a normal thing and it may sometimes be harder for a parent to cope with problems and blunders a child makes. But this group makes you strong and helps you understand that this time will pass as with time when your child becomes old, he\she will start to understand that what is wrong and what is right they will stop making blunders. You Realise That You’re Not Alone As when you are busy with your career-related work which gives you mental stress along with which taking child’s care is a hard job. Feelings of isolation are common in both parents. Dad support groups offer a way out of this, you could make friends who are on the same page as you, making you feel less isolated. This helps you be more involved as a parent and take some stress off your partner as well. Additionally, you also receive parenting tips which will enhance your parenting skills. So, what are you waiting for? Go join your local dad support groups or even an online support group!

NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

IDENTIFYING A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP DURING PREGNANCY! Written by Lance Green

Data suggests that about one in four women experiences abuse or domestic violence before or after pregnancy. Abuse in any form- physical, mental or emotional- is never acceptable. During pregnancy, any form of abuse can have detrimental impacts on the baby as well as the mother. At least for the sake of the baby, you have to get out of a toxic relationship if you are in one. The first step is you should take is to figure out if you are in a toxic relationship, let’s see how you can do that. What Is a Toxic Relationship? A toxic relationship is a relationship where people don’t support each other, simultaneous conflicts, undermining the other, lack of respect and cohesiveness or one there’s a competition. Such kinds of relationships, if not corrected, can mutate into issues that possess the potential to push one’s well-being to an extreme level. In a toxic relationship, one can face physical abuse, domestic violence, which is an act that causes emotional pain by constantly blaming you for things you haven’t done or by calling you names. They might try to be

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dominant on you by not allowing you to catch up with your friends and family. By emotional abuse, you may undergo depression, or feel scared. Being in a toxic relationship, you might suffer from physical attacks; in worse cases, partners might even aim at your pregnant belly, which might not only harm you but also the unborn baby living inside it. Moreover, during pregnancy, any physical abuse can increase the chances of miscarriage, internal bleeding, vaginal bleeding, and can put you through excruciating pain. It can also cause low baby weight, early birth, or some physical injuries. There are two absolute ways to such a relationship, such as, either you try to solve it out or it’s better to leave and end it right there. Factors That Can Trigger Abuse During Pregnancy In some families, pregnancy can bring a lot of stress or burden. And in such conditions, the partner may act violently, which is completely not acceptable. They become abusive when they feel as follow: • Due to unplanned pregnancy, they might feel upset • Financially not that great to handle the first baby or another baby coming. NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

• Jealousy, sometimes, is because the attention is driven to a new relationship. • Constantly being judged, controlled, pressurised by the partner. • Saying no to the activities you like to do because of the partner. • When you do not feel comfortable or avoid saying what you think because of your partner. • Being ignored, lack of trust and the relationship feels one-sided. • Feeling unsupported, envy and jealousy, unworthy or sad and scared too • You don’t feel like speaking openly about your opinions or thoughts, unable to speak about your important needs. • Afraid to say no or refusing things to the partner. How To Identify Such Behaviour During Pregnancy? Well, couples arguing on a topic is a lot more common nowadays. Though abusing, violence is a different thing. To identify such an act, ask yourself: • • • • •

100

Has your partner caused harm to you or the baby? Why is he becoming more violent day by day? Has he promised you to never hurt you, yet he does? Why does he blame you for his actions? Does he always put you down and make you feel bad

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• • • •

about yourself? Why does he threaten you, or the baby? When the partner is less interested in the pregnancy than you. Sometimes, the partner is way too protective of you. Being anxious about becoming parents.

If you find a yes to all these questions, then, unfortunately, you’re completely strangled in a toxic relationship. Solutions You Could Give a Try By recognising that you are in a toxic relationship, you are done with the first step. The next thing you could do is ask for help or talk to someone whom you trust. Be it a friend, a health care provider, counsellor, or a member of your family. You may gather help from the domestic violence program, legal-aid services, or crisis hotline. You must conduct a plan for your safety, which can include: • Seeking help and contacting the local police department or health care provider’s office if your partner hurts you. • Finding a safe place. Stay at your trustworthy people’s place like a friend, neighbour or family. • Carry some extra cash and your important documents like driver’s license, a chequebook, health insurance card, bank account information, and some proper medication with its prescription. • Educating yourself and much self-love. NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

101

knowing right from wrong WRITTEN BY: Sheree Hoddinett

Do you ever wonder if you’re teaching your kids the right or wrong way to do things? I’m a classic example of doing a lot of the wrong things. I swear a lot (I know!), I yell (always warranted mind you…I promise!) and I probably give in a little too much just to keep the peace. There’s always got to be some give and take right?! I can’t have them thinking they’ll win every battle (although it’s pretty close) but they also need to know who’s running things…I think it’s me, haha. When I first became a mum I often thought about the type of mum I would be. I was never going to be a perfect parent (is there such a thing? Apparently so!) and I don’t even strive to be. I’m doing my best and while some days it’s not quite enough, other days it’s all I can really offer. Do I think I’m doing everything wrong and setting my girls up for failure? Absolutely! Is that actually going to happen? Of course not! In typical me fashion, I’m a worrywart and my girls are doing great, well it looks that way…I hope. I have a few friends who have had their kids after me and they often turn to me for advice. Like I’m an expert, yeah right?! I don’t mind giving them advice or letting them know that their child is going through a horrible phase and it only gets worse (I’m all about honesty) but my disclaimer is always the same - use whatever advice I give in the way it works for you because every child is different. I know that much is true even with my own 2 girls. I have a princess and I have a fighter. But when push comes to shove they can both be absolutely feral and all bets are off.

I often wonder what my girls will be like when they head towards adulthood. I’ll happily skip the horrible teenage years to get there, no one needs those! I can only hope despite all my own faults, that I’m setting them up for something good. I think every parent hopes they do everything right and then has to sit back and watch as their child finds their own way in the world. It’s scary, it’s terrifying and I know that there’s absolutely nothing I can do to control it. Ahhhhh the joys of parenting. It really makes me appreciate my parents even more, it’s a shame I wasn’t as nice growing up, haha!

my girls but more so me in the mum role. I never felt like I had the mothering gene when I was growing up. I certainly had no idea what to do with babies when I was handed one to cuddle prior to having my own children. Although that certainly changed when I became a mum, it definitely wasn’t an instant thing. Initially I struggled with the idea of how to be a mum and what that meant in the whole perspective of my life. I think in some way I’m still trying to work it out while I wing it on raising 2 very strong willed young ladies. But in the whole scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter. I’ve managed to get to this point and they’re still going, so I’m obviously doing something right! Shhhhhhh, don’t tell anyone!

I wouldn’t exactly describe my motherhood journey so far as a great one. It’s not like it’s terrible but I am my own worst critic, so it’s usually I’ll admit there’s bad. I’m not talking probably a few things about interacting with I could have done

differently over the years but hindsight is always a wonderful thing. I’m still learning as I go and let’s face it, the girls are pretty much in the same boat. I figure we can either sink or swim together, but either way they’re stuck with me. Insert evil laugh here. In all seriousness, being a parent is hard work and while you know what you’re signing up for when you take it on, it doesn’t mean you always have to like it. However, you approach it, I’m sure your kids still love you at the end of the day. Mine still flock to me like a bad smell that won’t go away so I obviously haven’t scared them away yet. If you like laughing at the expense of others, why not check out my blog www.shereekim. com. There’s plenty of fun to share over there. Until next time…..you have got this! NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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fashion NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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girls FASHION

UNDER $15 kmart.com.au BABY Romper $15.00 Baby Sandals $12.00

UNDER $12 kmart.com.au GIRLS Shirt Dress $12.00 Junior Sandals $12.00

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UNDER $55

countryroad.com.au BABY Floral Yoke Dress $54.95 Cut Out Pre Walker $34.95

UNDER $80 countryroad.com.au GIRL Organically Grown Cotton Metallic Midi Dress $79.95 Plaited Sandal $49.95

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SPLURGE melijoe.com/au

BABY Tartine Et Chocolat Pink Taffeta Dress $190.00 Dolce & Gabbana White Baby Booties $315.00

SPLURGE melijoe.com/au

GIRLS Dolce & Gabbana Red Carretto Dress $975.00 Pom D’api Marine/Or Plagette Tek Sandals $126.00

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boys FASHION

UNDER $16 kmart.com.au

BABY Stripe Dungaree Set $16.00 Baby Boat Shoes $12.00

UNDER $18 kmart.com.au

BOY Australian Cotton Henley T-shirt $5.00 Embroidered Shorts $12.00 Junior Closed Toe Sandals $18.00

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UNDER $55

countryroad.com.au BABY Organically Grown Cotton Multi Stripe Bodysuit $34.95 Moccasin Pre Walker $34.95

UNDER $50

countryroad.com.au BOYS Organically Grown Cotton Splice T-Shirt $29.95 Spliced Short $44.95 Boat Shoe $49.95

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SPLURGE melijoe.com/au

BABY Ralph Lauren Navy Logo T-Shirt And Shorts Set $92.00 Gucci Newborn Baby Trainers Bande Web $258.00

SPLURGE melijoe.com/au BOYS Lacoste Cream Colorblock Polo Shirt $85.00 Ralph Lauren Red Classic Shorts $105.00 Dolce & Gabbana White Logo Sneakers $625.00

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Cord Dungarees - Multi Sky Apple Blossom $56.00

Jersey Hotchpotch Romper - Multi Coral Reef $44.00

Summer Jersey Dungaree Set - Multi Animal Adventures $52.00

Animal Adventures Romper - Ivory/Blue Animal Adventures $42.00

Fun Jersey Dress - Elizabethan Blue Flowerpatch $42.00

Charlie Pom Jersey Dress - Violet Navy/Ivory $42.00

Piqué Polo Shirt - Navy/Ivory Hotchpotch Stars $38.00

Graphic T-shirt - White Dinos $30.00

Smart Roll-up Shorts - Rockabilly Red/Celeste Blue $46.00

Chino Shorts - Pineapple Yellow $46.00

augustethelabel.com

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recipes sourced from: healthier.qld.gov.au

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Delicious

Simple Muesli INSTRUCTIONS 1

mix all ingredients together and place divide between four bowls.

serve with reduced fat milk or yoghurt and seasonal fruits.

prep time: 10 mins serves: 4 INGREDIENTS 3/4 cup 3/4 cup 4 tbsp 1/3 cup 1/2 cup 1/2 cup 1/3 cup 1/3 cup 1 1/2 cup 2 cups

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wheat (or oat) bran rolled oats wheatgerm sunflower seeds dried apricots, chopped currants or sultanas pepitas (pumpkin seeds) flaked almonds reduced-fat milk or yoghurt chopped seasonal fruit such as bananas, berries, passionfruit

Quick & Easy Pumpkin, Leek & Feta Mini Frittata INSTRUCTIONS 1

preheat oven to 200°c (180°c fan forced).

spray a 12-hole, ½-cup capacity muffin pan with oil, set aside. spray a non-stick frying pan with oil and place on medium heat.

add leek and cook for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally, until softened.

add pumpkin, spray with oil and stir to coat vegetables. add ½ cup water, cover pan and steam for 10 minutes until just tender.

in a medium sized jug, whisk together eggs and milk. season with black pepper.

remove pumpkin mixture from heat and stir through feta and basil.

place muffin pan on a flat baking tray then spoon pumpkin mixture evenly into 12 holes. carefully pour over egg mixture to almost fill muffin holes. bake for 25 minutes, or until firm and golden.

cool in the pan for 5 minutes before turning on a wire rack.

serve warm or cold with a green salad or wrap

prep time: 60 mins serves: 6 INGREDIENTS

1 600g 6 1/3 cup 95g 3/4 cup

olive or canola oil spray leek, white part only, cut lengthways and finely sliced peeled pumpkin, cut into 1cm cubes eggs, lightly beaten low-fat milk reduced-fat feta cheese, cut into 5mm cubes chopped basil leaves small green salad, to serve

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Thai Fish Cakes With Crunchy Salad prep & cook time: 40 mins serves: 4 INSTRUCTIONS 1

place fish, garlic, coriander, curry paste, juice and egg into a blender or food processor. process until the mixture is well combined and is a smooth paste consistency.

transfer to a large bowl with diced red capsicum and the green beans. mix until well combined.

with damp hands, using 2 tablespoons of mixture at a time, shape mixture into 12 balls. flatten into 1cm thick patties.

spray a large non-stick frypan with oil and place over medium heat. place 6 fish cakes evenly around the pan. cook for 3-4 minutes then flip and brown on reverse side for a further 2-3 minutes until cooked through. transfer to a plate and repeat with remaining mixture.

begin to prepare salad by adding remaining ½ red capsicum, thinly sliced, to a large bowl. using a teaspoon, discard seeds from cucumber. slice thinly on the diagonal and add to capsicum along with bean sprouts, extra coriander, mint and chilli.

INGREDIENTS 400g 1 4 1 tbsp 1 tbsp 1 150g 1/2 small

SALAD 2 lrg

make the dressing by combining extra juice, sweet chilli and fish sauce in a cup and pour over salad just before serving.

2 cup

divide fish cakes and salad among serving plates.

1cup

serve with lemon or lime wedges, if desired.

MICROWAVE fish cakes can be steamed in the microwave rather than browned in a pan. place fish cakes around the outer edge of a large microwave-safe plate lined with non-stick baking paper. cook, uncovered, on medium (50%) for 12-15 minutes or until firm and cooked through.

firm boneless white fish fillets, roughly chopped clove garlic, peeled and quartered stems coriander, roots removed (50g stems and leaves) red curry paste lemon or lime juice egg green beans, trimmed, cut into 1cm rounds red capsicum, seeded and diced olive or canola oil spray lemon or lime wedges, to serve

1/2 cup 1 1tbsp 1 1/2 tbsp 1 tsp

lebanese cucumbers, halved lengthways bean sprouts roughly chopped coriander, extra fresh mint leaves, torn long red chilli, seeded, thinly sliced (optional) lemon or lime juice, extra sweet chilli sauce fish sauce

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Vegetable Paella prep & cook time: 85 mins serves: 6 INSTRUCTIONS

heat a large deep non-stick frying pan, brushed with olive oil over high heat; cook onion and capsicum, stirring, until onion softens.

add paprika, turmeric and mushrooms; cook, stirring, until mushrooms are tender. add rice; stir to coat rice in vegetable mixture.

add tomatoes, 1/2 cup of stock and 1/2 cup of water; cook, stirring, until liquid is absorbed. add remaining stock and water; cook, covered, stirring occasionally, for about 1 hour or until liquid is absorbed and rice is tender.

INGREDIENTS 1 sml 1 med 1 med 2 tsp 1 tsp 1/2 tsp 200g 1 2/3 cups

sprinkle beans and peas over rice. cook, covered, for about 10 minutes or until beans are tender.

cover paella and stand for 5 minutes. sprinkle paella with parsley; serve with lemon wedges.

4 med 2 cups 2 cups 200g 1 cup 2 tbsp 1

brown onion, chopped finely red capsicum, chopped finely yellow capsicum, chopped finely olive oil paprika turmeric button mushrooms, halved brown short-grain rice tomatoes, chopped coarsely salt-reduced vegetable stock water green beans, trimmed, chopped coarsely frozen peas coarsely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley 1 lemon, cut into wedges

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Quick Vegetable Stir-Fry INSTRUCTIONS 1

heat the vegetable oil in a wok.

add the ginger, garlic, broccoli, capsicums, spring onions, snow peas, mushrooms, baby corn and stir fry for 2-3 minutes.

stir in the sesame oil and oyster sauce, add the noodles and heat through and combine all ingredients.

serve immediately.

prep & cook time: 15 mins serves: 4 INGREDIENTS 250g 1 1 100g 1/2 cup 6 pieces 5-6 1 tbsp 1 1/2 tsp 1 tbsp 1 tsp 375g

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broccoli, chopped red capsicum, sliced green capsicum, sliced snow peas, trimmed of strings baby mushrooms, sliced baby corn, sliced on diagonal spring onions, sliced on diagonal into 0.5cm sections up to the green part vegetable oil clove garlic, crushed ginger, finely grated oyster sauce sesame oil pack of pre-cooked noodles (singapore, hokkien or thick egg noodles), rinsed to loosen and then drained or follow packet instructions

Pumpkin Mac & Cheese With Bacon INSTRUCTIONS

prep & cook time: 45 mins serves: 4 INGREDIENTS 2

preheat oven to 220ºc.

heat a small non-stick fry pan over high heat. add the bacon and cook for 3 minutes until crispy. set aside.

2 tbsp 1 med 2

in a large pan, heat the olive oil over a medium heat, add the onion, garlic and cook until soft.

400g

add the pumpkin and 1½ cups of water to the pan and allow pumpkin to cook until soft.

remove from heat and blend until smooth.

stir through the cooked pasta, pumpkin, bacon, zucchini and half the parmesan cheese and freshly ground black pepper.

1 med 2 tbsp

pour the mixture into a baking dish, spread with remaining parmesan and breadcrumbs.

1/2 cup

1 1/2 cup 2 cups

bacon rashers, trimmed of fat and thinly sliced olive oil onion, chopped cloves garlic, finely chopped butternut pumpkin, peeled and chopped water pasta (macaroni, penne, shells or spirals), cooked according to instructions on packet and drained zucchini, chopped Parmesan cheese, finely grated freshly ground black pepper dried breadcrumbs parsley for garnish (optional)

cook in oven for 15 minutes or until top is golden and crunchy. garnish with parsley and divide among bowls. NOVEMBER 2021 | My Child Magazine Issue #122

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Plum Sponge Pudding prep time: 45 mins serves: 6

INSTRUCTIONS 1

preheat oven to 180°c.

lightly spray baking pan (20cm x 20cm) with oil.

place fruit in pan. whisk eggs and sugar with an electric mixer for 4–5 minutes until very thick and creamy.

with a spatula fold in flour and hot milk as lightly as possible.

pour over fruit to cover and bake for 25–30 minutes until golden brown and firm to touch.

serve with low-fat vanilla yoghurt.

INGREDIENTS olive or canola oil spray stewed, poached or 2 cups canned plums, well drained 3 eggs 1/2 cup caster sugar self-raising flour, 3/4 cup sifted 1 tbsp low-fat milk, hot low-fat vanilla 150g yoghurt

tip: make sure there is no liquid or juice with the fruit or the sponge topping will not cook properly.

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Honey Panna Cotta With Tropical Fruit Salsa prep & freeze time : 25 mins serves: 4

INSTRUCTIONS 1

sprinkle gelatine over water in a cup and set aside.

place milk and sugar into a small saucepan over medium heat. stir occasionally and heat until hot but not boiling. remove from heat and stir through gelatine until dissolved. set aside to cool slightly then add yoghurt and mix well until smooth.

divide yoghurt mixture among four 150ml capacity individual jelly, panna cotta or dariole moulds. cover each mould with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 4 hours or overnight until set.

cut all fruit into 1cm dice and combine in a medium sized bowl with passionfruit.

just prior to serving, break the seal by running the blade of a knife around the edge of each panna cotta. upturn mould onto serving plate and shake to release.

INGREDIENTS 1 1/2 tsp 1 1/2 tbsp 1 cup 1/2 tbsp 1 1/2 cups 1 2

powdered gelatine water low-fat milk caster sugar honey-flavoured yoghurt mango, peeled and stoned kiwifruit, peeled pawpaw, peeled and 300g seeded pineapple, peeled and 1/4 cored 2 pulp of passionfruit

divide fruit salsa between plates and serve immediately. HINT - if jelly or dariole moulds are not available, use a similar shape plastic container such as an individual disposable yoghurt tub or a silicone muffin tray. alternatively, set panna cotta in a glass or bowl and top with fruit salsa.

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