AUSTRALIA’s BEST PREGNANCY, BABY & PARENTING MAGAZINE ISSUE 34
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Meditation
for fertility, pregnancy & birth
Winter FASHION special
10
top toddler taming tips
SAVE YOUR
SANITY HELP WITH BUB Crying • Soothing Sleeping • Pacifiers
BIG
baby GUIDE
A-Z
infant care
Everything you need to know
Modern mums Do we really have a
better deal?
ACTIVE BIRTH VS ACTIVeLY MANAGED BIRTH // yummy Pumpkin soup
growing babies organically. Made with love for your baby, the nature baby range always respects the best ethical and environmental practices. With a fresh modern take on all the essentials you will need for your baby, our range includes 100% certified organic cotton and merino wool baby clothing, sleepwear and bedding. A luxurious botanical skincare range for mothers and babies and unique toys to inspire the imagination.
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Editor’s column LISE TAYLOR
A
s I write this letter on the day before our July issue goes live, I am reminded of all the chaos having babies and little children entails (my son is 10 now and you really do forget!). Why? Because Sam our art director couldn’t get childcare for her twoyear-old daughter, Elita, so she is spending the day in the office with us. Elita is totally adorable however doesn’t want to be parted from her mum’s side. She has been sitting on Sam’s lap all day as Sam tries to finalise the pages ready for the digital magazine, which doesn’t make working easy. It was however quite incredible how much Sam got through during Elita’s nap time! It reminds me of when my son, Duncan, was a baby, when I was working for Australian Cosmetic Surgery Magazine. I was breastfeeding so I often took him into work with me (it was a wonderfully supportive workplace for mums). It wasn’t unusual for me to be interviewing a doctor with the phone in the crook of my neck, typing the story straight into the computer and breastfeeding Duncan at the same time! So with this, our big baby special, I want to
contratulate all mothers because we really are quite awesome! It’s incredible how much we are capable of as we endeavour to balance all the different elements of our lives. I’m sure too you will learn lots from all the stories we are running on caring for babies in this issue. And if you’re feeling lonely or that you are really struggling with your new baby and that all the other mums seem so “together”, do read Pinky McKay’s piece “Finding your feet” on page 140. Pinky writes: a conspiracy of silence perpetuates the loneliness of new mothers because with everyone pretending they have it “all sorted” an impenetrable wall develops that keeps mothers from reaching out to each other and becoming allies. I know I felt isolated as times when Duncan was a bub and Pinky offers some great tips on “getting out there”. Lastly, why is a soft, cuddly FLATOUTBear gracing this page? Well, it’s the first item that I bought for Duncan when I was pregnant with him. He still has his and it brings back so many memories of those amazing days. What are your special baby items? I hope you enjoy this issue!
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contents COVER STORIES 14 38 70 94 98 106 114 130 144
Modern mums Do we really have a better deal? Winter fashion special Yummy pumpkin soup Meditation for fertility, pregnancy & birth Learn the art of staying zen Active birth VS actively-managed birth Big baby guide A-Z infant care Everything you need to know Save your sanity Help with bub 10 top toddler taming tips How to face the challenges of raising a toddler
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10 12 22 26 30 32 34 38 54 58 win! 9 Readers’ letters Win The Stork Nest Out 62 & About set valued at $313.85 20 Subscribe for free! Win one of five 64 Ergobaby 360 carriers worth $199 each
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Editor’s picks Make your Toddler a Star Bits & bobs News & reviews Have you met…? Moran Dvir from The Nappy Collective What we love about… Babua Soft Toys My 5 favourites Lindy Klim from baby skincare brand Milk & Co My business Meet The Little Kidz Closet’s Lesley Grant Fashion 15 pages packed with Winter’s most stylish warmers for pregnancy, babies and children Shopping compare Kids’ backpacks Interiors report Join the circus trend with these troupes of carousel favourites Interiors my space A zesty lemon nursery for a twist on the traditional Party A Very Hungry Caterpillar birthday
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contents PREGNANCY & BIRTH News Apps for sharing, televised birth, seatbelt restraints and going alcohol free Shopping Out of joint Dealing with sore muscles The miracle of meditation Tips to help with your pregnancy and birth Be in on the act! Learn the advantages of having an “active birth”
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BABY & TODDLER 106 News Battling toddler coughs, breastmilk
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treasures and coin battery caution Shopping A-Z of baby care Our handy guide Close to one’s heart Keeping bub nearby The bare necessities Basic behaviour Express yourself Tips for using a pump Finding your feet Coping with loneliness Taming tots Common toddler problems
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preschooler & big kids 148 News Omega-3, eyecare and vaccinations 152 Shopping 154 How does your garden grow? Teaching
children to produce their own vegies 158 IQ or EQ? Which is more important?
family 14 70 72 76
The MOB The age of outsourcing Cooking Pumpkin soup News Good nutrition Mummy bloggers
ON THE COVER Styling Samantha Campbell Photography Michelle Young Model Zoe wears sweater cape $79.95 by Eeni Meeni Miini Moh, leggings $19.95 by Precious by Plum and organic earmuff $34.95 by Toshi
®Trade Mark Johnson & Johnson 1465/13
Bath, massage, quiet time and I’m out like a light, mum.
I need twice as much sleep as you do, mum. So I love how we do this JOHNSON’S® baby bedtime routine every night. With NATURALCALM® essences, it’s proven to help me fall asleep faster. Thanks mum, you’ve got the magic touch. july 2014 | mychild
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PUBLISHER & EDITOR LISE TAYLOR DEPUTY EDITOR & online editor CASSANDRA HOLLAND ART DIRECTOR & STYLIST SAMANTHA CAMPBELL NEWSLETTER EDITOR & WRITER AMY LOVAT NEWS editor JO HEGERTY sub-editors
CASSANDRA HOLLAND & AMY LOVAT
social media manager SELENA THURBON @ SOCIAL MEDIA MINDS EDITORIAL ENQUIRIES editorial@poppetgroup.com.au
CONTRIBUTING EXPERTS JANET BALASKAS, YOGI BRAHMASAMHARA, SHELLEY DAVIDOW, PINKY MCKAY, TERRI SHELDON, DR PETA STAPLETON, SHARON TURTON, LOIS WATTIS
STOCK PHOTOGRAPHY iStock ADVERTISING DIRECTOR LISE TAYLOR m 0410 660 578 e lise@poppetgroup.com.au
CONTACT 61 2 4981 8876 mychildmagazine.com.au PO Box 174 Stockton NSW 2295 Australia
MANAGING DIRECTOR LISE TAYLOR
GENERAL MANAGER BRIAN TAYLOR MY CHILD IS PRODUCED & PUBLISHED BY POPPET GROUP PTY LTD ABN 93 120 831 021 My Child magazine and mychildmagazine.com.au are wholly owned by Poppet Group Pty Ltd (ABN 93 120 831 021). No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in the company or in My Child or mychildmagazine.com.au. My Child contains general information only and does not purport to be a substitute for health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. Reproduction of any material without written permission by the publisher is strictly forbidden. We cannot accept responsibility for material lost or damaged in the post or for any unsolicited manuscripts and photographs. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.
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READERS’ LETTERs
win The Stork Nest Out & About set
WRITE TO US FOR YOUR CHANCE TO
WIN
WRITE TO US One star letter published in our August issue will receive The Stork Nest Out & About set valued at $313.85. The pack includes a Union Square Stop City carryall from Petunia Picklebottom, $199, Coffee Bean Totseat, $49.95, Béaba Green Ellipse Bento Box, $49.95 and Béaba Lime Soft Second Age Ergonomic cutlery and case, $14.95. The Stork Nest provides a new, exciting place to get the very best products for babies, toddlers, kids and their savvy mums and dads (all delivered direct to your door). Visit thestorknest.com.au for more details. To enter and for terms and conditions, see mychildmaga zine.com.au. You are welcome to email editorial@ poppetgroup.com.au. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.
ALL IN FAVOUR!
STAR LETTER
Out of all the baby/kids’ magazines available, My Child is my absolute favourite. It got me through my first pregnancy and is now getting me through my second! I absolutely love that it’s available online! The June issue was a blast to read, and what I love most is that with a click of the mouse I’m swept away to another site to shop, because in all honesty the part I enjoy most about reading magazines are the ads and product reviews. Looking forward to the next online issue. Samantha Kaminski, via email
Live in the present
Outback connection
Kylie Kaden deserves a big HIGH anxiety thanks for her “High anxiety” column. I get so easily caught I up in anxiety over Lego being a safety hazard or worrying about washing hands. I watch my husband with envy as he lives in the moment – never agonising about the “what if’s”. This was a real wake-up call to not dwell on the possibilities and to concentrate on the present instead. Brigitte Thomas, Kareela, NSW COLUMN
WHAT TYPE OF MUM ARE YOU? HERE MY CHILD COLUMNIST KYLIE KADEN ADMITS TO BEING AN EXPERT CATASTROPHE-INVENTOR
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PHOTOGRAPHY ISTOCKPHOTO
never used to imagine the worst – but When couples now I’m a mum, I’ve become an expert become families, catastrophe-inventor. Call me Anxiety dynamics change and Girl; willing to jump to the worst conclusion different parenting faster than a speeding bullet. Toy trains are styles emerge. The potential choking hazards, birds are swooping preferred MO for assassins and those innocent-looking sticks – getting bubs to sleep, they’re actually blinding implements. Is this eat and avoid sharp superpower a “mum thing”: a capability that objects suddenly grows alongside each child like some form of becomes a daily dance evolutionary safety check or is highly strung and some of us find just my unofficial parenting style? we occasionally step I married the smartest, most decent man I on a few toes. know. And, as predicted, he turned into a great So what are the dad. But, unfortunately, relaxed is his default official parenting setting. Me? Not so much, and I’m finding that styles? And do you and over the years his laid-back your partners clash? approach has made I returned from a writing Studies show authoritative my worry meter crank conference early styles produce the up a notch (or three) evening recently to find on happiest, most successful my boys half naked, the catastrophic thinking children. These are scale (after 10 years surrounded by slot cars the child-focused parents and chip packets, I can find a way to blame who bend down to him for most things). brekkie dishes in the child level and calmly sink and a husband This was all very clear explain the reasons with to me one day when no dinner plans. I fumed I behind their request for a while before returned home (from (I do this in public all buying more safety items, the realising that, while time!). Then there are there may have been probably) to find my the demanding (but husband teaching our not a few scuffed knees sons responsive) authoritarian and a big, sticky mess, how to fish. At least, parents, who yell, that’s how it looked to everyone had smiles him. ‘Do it because I said on their faces. From my perspective, so’ (this one I save for I saw my toddler sitting my There may be fewer kitchen.) Thirdly, there’s bandaids and lost shoes in a scattering of menacing-looking the permissive, freefish hooks, on my watch, but I’m range parents who treat sure my kids would moments from tetanus, their kids like friends be blindness or worse. less resilient if they always and avoid all conflict roamed in the safetyStress kitten. Helicopter (me… after a wine). If mum. Fun sponge. you first world I wrap them are like most, you borrow in. My husband and There are many names a bit of all of these in I for my condition. But have different parenting the course of each day styles, I don’t have to look far but (and perhaps time of the month?). to see the irony in a that’s why nature needs Why don’t we all just a union to reproduce recent finding: that helicopter be authoritative parents parenting – – and why I think it then? I like to think I would be so hard to hovering over their kids was, starting out, yet do on every step of the way I soon your own? But don’t found that trying to worry about fitting into – may be linked to the rationalise with a toddler a development of anxiety stereotype of what a is like attempting to parent “should” be – disorders in adolescence. herd cats. In fact, I think they (Great – that gives say you get major points I unknowingly encouraged just for turning up. me another thing to negative behaviours worry about!). I concede, the perfect through the extensive balance of parenting I feel it is my responsibility verbal attention. I also to predict the styles lay somewhere learned I have to have between my husband’s worst in an effort to expectations prevent it happening that are (resilience-building) to realistic and age-appropriate, way and my (safety-first) my kids. But ever since and not reprimand one of the first words method. At least, I hope kids too much for doing so, as until I can rein my two-year-old said what, developmentally, was ‘careful’, I’ve tried in my high anxiety, to nature intended. (I chant that’s what my lot are rein in my neurosis. this when I find myself (And why do we only going to get… ‘Because say surrounded by boys I said so!’ ‘careful’ after they’ve spear-tackling each fallen over?) other Kylie Kaden is a frazzled on the couch.) mum A pessimistic outlook may be an occupational of three boys with an honours ‘It’s a boy thing,’ my hazard for mothers, husband explains to but kids don’t need it. degree in psychology. Her So me, but I find some debut I try to phrase things things work better in more positively for their my novel Losing Kate (Random house if I just don’t benefit. Think, Get off have to watch. That’s the road, you’ll get hit one House, $32.99) is out by a way we try to blend in April car! but say, ‘Let’s all our style. Not to mention stay safe on the footpath.’ 2014. For more information a little compromise. go to kyliekaden.com.au.
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My Child has been my staple cover-to-cover read since conception and the beginning of a steep learning curve. Each issue is guaranteed to provide thought-provoking articles, inspiring ideas and trusted information. Living as I do on a remote outback cattle property, it brings me in line with fantastic new children’s products, clothing and so such more to desire, compare and purchase. Thanks for providing a lifeline to outback mothers, offering us ideas to share when attending outback playgroup days. Helen Commens, Windorah, Qld
july 2014 | mychild
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editor’s picks ALL KINDS OF PRODUCTS CROSS lise’s DESK EACH DAY. HERE ARE a few of her favourites
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Liven up your day with this Kalencom Bellisima tote. Priced at $110, it’s a nappy bag for mums with style. Head to bubbabags.com.au. Imagine slipping these everso-soft suede pre-walkers over your baby’s tootsies? Available from loveluckandwonder.com for $44.95 a pair, they’re super warm. Aren’t these leather Little White Birdy baby shoes adorable – they even have grip pads! Available for $39.95 at beautifulsoles.com.au. Who hasn’t read Miffy by Dutch author and artist Dick Bruna? Now you can pick up these cute Miffy money banks, $49.95 each, for your kids at annabeltrends.com. Being half Danish, I just can’t go past Scandinavian children’s fashion. This Panda onesie by Molo is $39.95 at babygoesretro.com.au. Another great Dane design is this fun Pictogram Rainbow children’s wall clock, $55. Head to talointeriors.com.au to purchase one.
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MY CHILD PROMOTION
Meet our toddler star of the year My Child & Little Boo-Teek partnered up to bring you 2014’s toddler star of the year and we would like to Congratulate all the winners! Launched in September 2013 by My Child and Little Boo-Teek, the Make your Toddler a Star competition proved to be highly popular. Hundreds of gorgeous littlies were entered but there could only be three People’s Choice winners and one overall winner who participated in an exclusive photo shoot.
The People’s Choice winners are: Charlotte LorenzStockdale Kings Park, Vic
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Tiyana Sleiman
Aayan Mumtaz
Coburg, Vic
Glenroy, Vic
And the overall winner… Onyx! Onyx Vella comes from a loud, outgoing and friendly family that consists of his mother, Nicole, dad Luke and sister Kalia, eight. On an average day, he loves to ride on his mini-Hummer or play with friends from playgroup. His mum describes him as “Mr Cool” because of his sweet, loving, daredevil personality.
And what did Onyx and Nicole think of the shoot? ‘We had a lovely time. Onyx enjoyed himself and the ladies were very friendly and made us feel comfortable,’ says Nicole.
Onyx wears shirt $39.95, pants $79.95 and scarf $39.95 all by Eeni Meeni Miini Moh. Vans shoes $69.95 from Kido Store
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the mob
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The age of outsourcing My Child columnist Kylie Kaden asks whether, as mums bringing up children today, with all of the outsourcing we utilise, do we really have a better deal than that of our mothers or grandmothers?
‘
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ou modern mothers don’t know how good you have it, with your microwaves and disposable nappies…’ We have all heard the words, but is there any truth in the proposition that we have the better deal? Sure, our mothers didn’t have the technologies we enjoy (in some cases, tolerate) but is parenting easier in modern times? Let’s do a comparison: Huggies disposables to scrubbing cloths, automatic washers to twintubs, iPads to I Spy; the modern world sounds like a breeze, right? Yet with the technology and all of the freedom of contemporary times come side effects: materialism, cyberbullying, screentime rationing; not to mention needing a matrix to work out which kid goes where each day. These may be First World “problems”, but there is far more pressure on parents now; a saturation in printed and online mediums of parenting issues, the childcare debate, articles
designed to pitch mothers up against each other for their choices… In some ways the explosion of information available to modern parents is valuable. We have the benefits of research, options, choice, and no excuse to be stuck in the rigid parenting practices of past eras. Yet all that choice can raise all sorts of anxieties and second-guessing when it comes to deciding how to bring up our children. Freedom is not always liberating. Maybe it’s just me, but when did parenting get so complicated? Along with technology and public scrutiny comes a whole new level of expectation – things like party planners for kid’s birthdays, camping out for kindy places, and having to enrol your child in schools before they’re even born. Crazy times. We all try to do the best by our children. How that looks in real terms differs from family to family. One easy trap to fall into is to start >
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the MOB subcontracting out the hard bits. If anxiety is limiting my child’s experiences, perhaps a psychologist can assist by “sorting them out”. If handwriting looks like it’s written in “doctor’s scribble”, perhaps an occupational therapist can help with their fine-motor skills. No need to kick a ball around in the arvo – Tiny Soccer can tick that box. Have we become an age of outsourcing when, in fact, it might be simpler to just put in the hard yards ourselves? Do you need the expense of an OT to teach your child where to start his d’s and e’s, or will a stick of chalk and an afternoon scribbling on the footpath do the trick? Do you have to become a frazzled maniac dragging the whole family across town at a scheduled time (rain, sick or not – you have paid so you go) to kick a ball around a field? And does a young baby really need to go to playgroup to “socialise” or will a trip to the shops suffice? Gone are the Huckleberry-Finn days of catching tadpoles down at the creek and making messy mud pies,
“What matters long term is the relationship between parent and child. Kids will remember if your eyes light up when they enter a room or the kindness in your tone…” now replaced with avatars running around in virtual worlds. But some kids just don’t seem to have time to be kids anymore. To be bored. To learn to entertain themselves. Discipline is also an area where an explosion of information and options exists. If you Google it, thousands of articles, courses and YouTube posts exist on the topic. In desperation, we trial a barrage of techniques, reward charts, timeout methods, but I doubt many of our parents recall the details of how we were kept in line. In my experience, even if some new scheme does have an impact, it will only work for a week before everyone becomes bored with the
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predictability. The instinctive notion of catching children doing something good and offering genuine praise in return might be all we need. In striving to do our best, I think it is easy to miss the forest for the trees. Perhaps it’s time to get back to basics. What matters long term is the relationship between parent and child. Kids will remember if your
“Our parents had the certainty of having no choice but to keep things simple and use their judgement… not a bad thing” eyes light up when they enter a room or the kindness in your tone, even when the words are not their favourite. That you encouraged learning and attended school events, not which school they went to. That you were around to nurture them, not whether it was by breast or bottle. They will appreciate all you do as their mum, not by which exit they were born. So let’s stop agonising and keep it simple. When you strip away the buzz phrases and the trends, they learn by observing, and it’s our job to expose them to kindness, patience and respect (well, at least most of the time – we are only human). My obstetrician told me, ‘Don’t worry about if your kids are listening; worry that they are. They are watching and learning something from everything we do.’ So do modern mums have it easier than our parents’ generation? OK, we have some perks (oh, how I love you ABC Kids). But our parents had the certainty of having no choice but to keep things simple and use their judgement – not such a bad thing. Just like parenting kids of different ages, it is all hard. Every era just has a unique set of challenges. * Kylie is a frazzled mum of three boys with an honours degree in psychology. Her debut novel Losing Kate (Random House, $32.99) is out now. Read more at kyliekaden.com.au.
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available from selected retailers
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SUBSCRIBE FOR F For your chance to win one of five Ergobaby 360 Carriers valued at $199 each
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Receive My Child magazine direct to your inbox every month! Our new digital format allows you to interact with informative articles, scroll through for great shopping and fashion trends, and read and share inspiring stories, party ideas and more – all with just the click of a button. Better still, by signing up to our free digital mag you have the chance to win one of five Ergobaby Four-Position 360 Carriers valued at $199 each! The new Ergobaby carrier offers parents the convenience of four carry positions, maintaining the highest standards in ergonomic design to ensure the ultimate in safety and comfort for both bub and you. The carrier can be used from birth to toddler (up to 15kg) and the deep seat provides ideal hip positioning as your baby grows. Nurture your newborn close to your chest then progress to bub facing outward as they grow, allowing you to explore the world together. For more product information, please visit ergobaby.com.au and follow the conversation on Facebook at Ergobaby Australia and New Zealand.
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ideas
BITS&BOBS PRODUCT
OF THE MONTH
Pretty as a picture
Run from a studio in the coastal hills of Northern New South Wales, Love Mae offers an adorable array of vintage-inspired fabric wall decals along with wallpaper, wrapping paper and dinner sets for the young and young at heart. Versatile and budget-friendly, the wall decals can be applied to any smooth surface and removed and repositioned as often as you’d like. There are sweet creatures, pretty birds, wild animals, pirate ships, whimsical woodland scenes, flowers, fairies and more! We love these Elephant Parade wall sticker options, which were designed by Australian graphic designer and illustrator Laura Blythman. The largest elephant measures 23 x 23cm and you can purchase the set for $79.95. See lovemae.com.au to view the entire range.
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QUOTE >UNQUOTE
We asked our Facebook fans whether it was best to bathe your child before or after dinner. In My Child editor Lise’s home, her hubby Brian did all the cooking so she’d always bathe their son before dinner, which also kept him safely out of the kitchen. Here’s what others say… • Bath then dinner – otherwise my daughter would often poo in the bath… aggghhh! • Bath then dinner. He loves his bath and it helps calm him down so he’s not in crazy toddler mode during dinner. • For Mr Three bath first. He needs to wind down in order to sit still to eat. Miss Seven Months, however, is dinner then bath. She’s a lot messier than her brother and always dirties her nappy after dinner. • I do baths first because my kids go to bed early and there wouldn’t be time after dinner. Every night I wonder why I do this when I’m changing them because they got dirty at dinner again! • For us it’s bath after dinner… it can get really messy, like lasagne in her hair tonight! • We do dinner first, then bath. Dinnertime is always busy and messy, so the littlies have time to play in the bath and unwind before quiet time and then bed. We love bedtime! • How about dinner in the bath? My boy would love that! • Dinner then bath. Miss One does a poo after dinner, plus dinner tends to go everywhere.
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ideas | bits & bobs
A warm welcome to Selena
We’re excited to announce we have a fantastic new social media manager on the My Child team. Please say hello to Selena Thurbon, a dedicated mother of two and grandmother of three! Tell us about yourself Originally I hail from New Zealand, leaving my family at 18 to travel before landing an office job. Over the years I developed two great passions: motorbikes and marketing! My husband and I eventually bought a Sydneybased motorcycle rental business, which is when I learned to ride. From there I ended up creating a new riding club for women, which later led me to design a clothing label for female riders. Driven by my passion, I’ve spent many years working and supporting women in the industry and in 2013 was recognised as Motorcycling Australia Woman of the Year. A few years ago I started specialising in social media management, and am now leaving the motorbike business behind and moving into the roaming laptop lifestyle on a permanent basis. How about your family? I‘ve been married for 30 years this December, and have two beautiful daughters. My husband and I became grandparents for the first time two-and-a-half years ago and we now have three gorgeous granddaughters. They’re the apples of their Pop’s eye and have managed to turn a big, tough giant of a man into a soft, cuddly teddy bear. I actually love being a nanna more than I did being a mother – it’s much less stressful and I know I can do it! I have two great daughters to prove it. Your parenting advice? I read a quote last week that really resonated with me: If you have children, remember this when you have finished with them, the rest of the world has to live with them. So please teach them respect. Give your children the tools to be
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strong and independent individuals with good morals. Parenting is the hardest job in the world, there is no manual but there is a great deal of information and support out there – don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed. Any hobbies or interests? My all-time favourite thing to do is travel around Australia riding my motorbike and visiting new places. I love learning new stuff too and like to craft things – candle-making, knitting, beading – but I can only do projects that have a quick result. I’m looking forward to a time when I can do more photography and storytelling of my travels around Australia. What about your work with social media? Social media marketing is the way to use technology to build relationships, drive repeat business and attract new customers through friends sharing with other friends. It is really just word-of-mouth powered by technology. It’s so exciting to be working with My Child, helping Lise and her team to enhance their social media marketing strategy to connect, engage and grow the business. Plus I’m really enjoying meeting all the fans on the Facebook page for chats about parenting and more! * Visit My Child’s Facebook page, facebook.com/ mychildmagazine, to welcome Selena to our social media community.
ergobaby ergobaby
TM
GET READING
Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue (Random House, $32.99) by developmental psychologist and mother Christia Spears Brown throws gender stereotypes out the window when it comes to raising kids. It’s an extensive guide that is directed towards parents of infants through to middle-school aged children and uses colloquial language and everyday situations to demonstrate outdated gender roles and change our cultural focus.
NEW
Wrap
APP HAPPY
You may have previously seen apps that allow parents to track the daily habits of their bub, but now Lullaby Nanny Share has made their own version designed to accommodate babysitters or nannies. The free app allows carers to track naps, feedings, moods etc and relay them to the child’s parents. It can also send photos and messages. The app is compatible with iPhones, iPads and iPod Touches and is available at lullabynannyshare.com.au. for free!
EDITOR’S PICK
When a friend suggested to Lise that she watch the BBC’s Call the Midwife (BBC, Series 1 to 3 boxset $84.99) she had no idea just how enthralled she’d become with the show. The British period drama series is based on the best-selling memoirs of former nurse Jennifer Worth, and follows 22-year-old Jenny as she leaves her home to become a midwife in London’s East End in the deprived Poplar district. It is set in the 1950s and shows in graphic detail the trials and tribulations of parenting at this time.
Wrapped in Love It’s all about the fabric... made from innovative 4D Stretch™ material that flexes equally in four directions, offering unmatched support and comfort. Our ultra-breathable, luxuriously soft cotton provides a calming womb-to-world transition for your baby. Love carries on...
WATCH HOW TO WEAR FROM PREGNANCY TO TODDLER
“The Ergobaby Wrap holds baby firmly against the wearer’s chest, offering excellent head, neck and spinal support. It also distributes baby’s weight evenly for the wearer, which is especially important for new mums with recovering bodies.” Dr Bridie Cullinane - chiropractor and mum | mychild72525276 ergobaby.com.aujuly 2014 • 1300 *
ideas
Have you met…? Moran Dvir from The Nappy Collective If you haven’t yet heard of The Nappy Collective, you need to hear about it now! Moran Dvir is part of the management committee – a team of amazing, dedicated Aussies who collect your leftover unused disposable nappies three times a year and redistribute them to organisations that support families in crisis or in need. We all know that nappies are a basic healthcare requirement, but many mums from disadvantaged families simply can’t afford to change their babies as often as necessary.
giving and involve my kids as much as possible in what I do. We empower our kids to donate their time and money for various causes that we’re passionate about. In addition to being on the Collective’s management committee, I’m also an advisory board member of Kids in Philanthropy, a giving circle for families.
What is your best childhood memory? I don’t have a lot of memories from when I was a child, but I do remember my mother waking me tenderly one morning with little kisses to get me up for school. I always remember this with my children and try to start the day with a hug and a kiss before commencing the mad rush for school.
Tell us about your family life
How did you come up with the idea for The Nappy Collective?
I am a busy mother of four girls, aged between two and 10. We love pink around here! I have a wonderful and supportive husband who is as hands-on as me – we make school lunches together and do what needs to be done. He is my partner in parenting. Our family life is pretty tightly organised, but we allow as much time as possible for our kids to mooch around, play at the park, get loads of fresh air, and do some art and craft. I’m also passionate about philanthropy and
Each of us on the team is passionate about helping mothers who are in need, engaging the community and being part of a collective movement to make a difference. We had heard awful stories of mothers not being able to change their babies regularly because they couldn’t afford nappies. This was in addition to the hardship and trauma they faced if they needed to flee a violent home situation. A light bulb moment occurred when we realised everyone has a stash of nappies >
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ideas | have you met…? in the back of the cupboard that might be too small, the wrong brand etc. The idea was that if everyone donated some leftover nappies, collectively this could make a huge impact, alleviating some of the financial burden on these mums and helping them to rebuild their lives with a little more ease when buying their next packet of nappies. This was reinforced to us when we collected 26,682 nappies during our March collective.
What’s the hardest decision you’ve had to make since starting it? A challenge for me personally has been whether we donate more nappies to fewer shelters or vice versa. The need for material aid among mothers in crisis can be quite overwhelming and even distressing, however we have made a conscious decision to remain focused on our growth, strategy and efficient processes to maximise our reach. In many ways we operate as a business and ensure we remain level-headed in our approach.
What type of environment best stimulates your creativity? A quiet one, with no kids, no interruptions and a napping toddler! I work best in my study, but I often get ideas at random times like at 6am or while I’m driving and quickly jot these down before I forget them!
What issues arise when juggling your work and motherhood? I try not to be on my phone too much from 4pm to 7pm. I’m really mindful of not ignoring my kids because another email or Facebook message has come up on my phone, so it’s a conscious (and challenging!) effort to put my mobile phone aside after school and to pay attention to my children! Having four kids means lots of simultaneous ‘Mummy, Mummy, Mummy’ so I really do need to give them my attention. Having said that, being part of a large family with a busy mum
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means my kids also have lots of opportunities to be independent, resilient and look out for each other, and that’s important too. The girls also know what I do and that I care deeply about helping other people and I feel that is an important example to set.
What advice do you have for women wanting to start a business? Be level-headed, organised and collaborate. Find a mentor and ask for help or guidance when you need it. Have clear goals and speak to people you consider knowledgeable to get advice and insights into where you want to be.
Describe your life outside your work At home, I love simple traditions, unstructured family time and cooking for my family. I tidy, constantly de-clutter and do all those mummy things that need to be done. I exercise three or four times a week, hang out with my little ones at the park and play playdough together. On the weekends it’s children’s activities and then a family bike ride on Sunday morning.
Who inspires you? Philanthropists who have created innovative projects that are making a real difference in people’s lives. Their courage, determination and conviction have inspired me to just “do something”. I admire people like Ronni Kahn from OzHarvest and those in the public eye like Jackie Frank who use their position as a platform for social change and awareness.
What is a little known fact about you that would surprise people? I have old-fashioned beliefs about kindness, manners and etiquette. * The next Nappy Collective occurs in Victoria and New South Wales between July 21 and August 4 2014. For more information on how you can donate as an individual or business, or sponsor The Nappy Collective, visit thenappycollective.com or contact thenappycollective@gmail.com.
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IDEAS
What we love about… Babua Soft Toys
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xclusively designed and handmade in Australia, Babua Soft Toys are quirky companions for kids of all ages. The plush toys are made from felt and come in a range of styles for all personality types. The Monster plushies are a collection of 34 playful characters, each with their own name and background. Priced at $18.50, the toys are lovingly hand-stitched using felt and thread. They even come with a cool swing tag. The Babua Mini range includes 10 miniature monster designs in a variety of colour options for $5 each. My Child reader Amy Scott says, ‘These little guys are very cute! They are well
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made and perfect to use as party favours. My husband and I used them at our grandson’s first birthday, which had an Adopt-a-Monster theme, and they were just the right size for the goodie bags.’ They are 10cm tall and are also available in a key ring for $7 so kids can hang them on their schoolbags. Not only does this brand create an array of original plush pals, but they also stock bright bibs and rompers so your baby can wear their favourite characters. The rompers come in sizes 000 to 0 for $13.50 while the matching bibs are $6 each. Head to babuasofttoys.com.au to purchase.
Capturing Treasured Moments In Time
Birth Certificate Kit
Inkless Footprint Frame Kit
Imprint kit
Belly Art is an Australian owned company creating safe and easy to use keepsakes products. www.bellyart.com.au
T: 03 9509 4060 E: info@bellyart.com.au
WINNER Best Childrens Product 2014
Gift & LifeInstyle Awards
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IDEAS
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My favourites Lindy Klim, creative director and co-founder of Milk & Co plus a mum to three and wife to Michael Klim, shares her best-loved products
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Love Luck & Wonder shoes These were launched around the same time as our Milk Baby range a few years ago, and I’ve been a fan ever since. Frankie (my youngest) loves the animal-print T-Bar sandals – they’re adorable! Visit loveluckandwonder.com.
Smiling Mind app We all live busy lives these days and I’m a huge advocate of “healthy mind, healthy life”. This app is great because it’s been designed for kids from ages seven and up to help bring balance to young lives. They’ve created easy-to-use programs that the whole family can utilise and I think it’s great to familiarise kids with “mental awareness” from a young age. It’s also a not-for-profit initiative. Check the app out at smilingmind.com.au.
Milk Baby Bath Time Wash The natural bath wash was one of the first products I created in our baby and kids’ skincare range back in 2010, and has been a staple in my children’s bathroom ever since. The lavender helps relax the littlies before bed and the chamomile can help soothe skin conditions or assist with irritations such as eczema, minor scratches or abrasions and sunburn. You can now find it (along with our Shampoozle + Conditioner and Moisturising Qweam) in your local Woolworths, too! It’s priced at $12.95. Visit milkandco.com.au for stockist locations.
Penny skateboards We’ve just bought my kids one each – and they didn’t leave them alone all weekend. The colours from the new Fades series are my favourite, but you can also design your own. They are such a fun gift! Head to pennyskateboards.com.au.
Frankie Ray kids’ eyewear I found it so hard to find super cool sunglasses for my kids, until I came across the Frankie Ray collection by Sticks & Sparrow designer Bec Bennett. Living in Bali, the children are always outdoors, so it’s important to me that these sunnies offer 100 percent UV protection. My girls love the pink- and leopard-trim Cleo style. Find them at eyetribe.com.au.
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IDEAS
My business Lesley Grant, director and operator of online children’s store The Little Kidz Closet, shares the inspiration behind her company
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ideas | my business
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fter having her second child, Lesley found venturing to the shops with two little children too stressful. The next viable option was to shop online, but she soon discovered that while online stores catered to their own fields such as fashion and interiors well, there wasn’t an individual website that stocked everything she needed. This inspired Lesley to establish The Little Kidz Closet, a onestop online shop for children’s clothing, decor, bedding and more. Now in its sixth year, The Little Kidz Closet successfully operates with a small team, with Lesley herself as the driving force behind the daily workings of the company. ‘I do everything from product selection and marketing to packing parcels,’ she explains. ‘I’m also fortunate to have a great team that pulls together to get the most out of the business.’ The online store gives Lesley a lot of flexibility when it comes to her family life. However, this
wasn’t always the case during the early days of the business. ‘Juggling a family and setting up a company was difficult,’ she says. ‘It took a lot of late nights and long hours but it was all worth it in the end.’ The only lesson Lesley wishes she’d known from the beginning was that websites require more marketing than she’d expected for them to really take off. However, she made up for this by networking with different magazines and blogs, which has proven a successful method as The Little Kidz Closet has recently won a Gold award for Favourite Online Store in the My Child Excellence Awards 2014. Lesley’s advice for other mums looking to start their own business? ‘Be prepared for a lot of hard work, get a business plan together so you can plan ahead and seek the advice of a marketing expert to gain some useful tools to “sell” your idea. It also helps to have a few trusted friends to bounce your ideas off.’ *
Visit thelittlekidzcloset.com.au for these Kip & Co products and to browse the rest of the store
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“It took a lot of late nights and long hours but it was all worth it in the end�
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FASHION
red hot! fire up your winter wardrobe with eyecatching basics for mamas in the making
THIS PAGE: maternity blouse $110 10-14 by Seraphine Maternity highstreetmama.com.au
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1| PEASANT dress $119.95 XS-XL by Esprit
2| TUNIC $89.95 XS-XL by Ripe Maternity
3| TOP US$87 & JEANS US$147 XS-L both by Olian Maternity
queenbee.com.au
ripematernity.com
olianmaternity.com
4| JACKET $179.95 S-L by Mamaway
5| TOP $67.95 XS-l by Mothers en Vogue
6| dress $68.63 6-18 by ASOS Maternity
mamaway.com.au
milkandlove.com.au
asos.com.au
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FASHIOn
the milky way‌ all shades of white work wonders for wee ones no matter what time of the year
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THIS PAGE: Knitted Coat $89.95 000-2 by Purebaby purebaby.com.au
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fashion | baby
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1| bodysuit $26.95 0-3M to 1Y by Nature Baby
2| Chantilly Lace Dress $67 3-24M by Fox & Finch
naturebaby.com.au
minihaha.com.au
by Cheeky Britches cheekybritches.com.au
4| Bunny from $14.95 by Purebaby
5| lace up Booties $35 0-6M by Papinelle
6| Fur Collar $22.99 S-L by Pumpkin Patch
purebaby.com.au
papinelle.com
pumpkinpatch.com.au
7| Cardigan $44.95 0000-0 & Beanie $19.95 both by Plum
8| Silver Trainers $36.95 S-L by Mooce
plumcollections.com.au
mooce.com.au
9| Beret $39.95, Mittens $33.95 & Vest $69 0-18M by Acorn acornkids.com.au
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3| Baby Hat $10.95
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FASHION
KNIT-knack warm woollens are all bub needs to feel snug as a bug all day long
THIS PAGE: Cardigan 0-3m to 2y, pants 6-12m to 2y & booties 0-3M to 2Y $44.95 each all by Nature Baby naturebaby.com.au
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1| Panda beanie $24.95
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2| Scarf $42.95 & mittens $32.95 both by Acorn
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3| Booties $20
by Hootkid hootkid.com
acornkids.com.au
by Ouch Clothing ouchclothing.com.au
4| Maple cardigan $59.90 3-24m by Bebe
5| Cable Knit mittens $33.95 by Acorn
6| Urban Knit Romper $44.95 000-2 by Plum
minihaha.com.au
acornkids.com.au
plumcollections.com.au
7| Hooded cardigan $79.95 000-3 by Purebaby
8| Dress $64.95 & leggings $39.95 000-3 both by Purebaby
9| waistcoat $69 2-10 by Fox & Finch
purebaby.com.au
purebaby.com.au
minihaha.com.au
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FASHION
bright spark
turn winter’s grey days sunny side up with a splash of mellow yellow
THIS PAGE: Monsters Beanies $29.95 1-6 & Thunderstorm TEEs $39.95 1-8 all by Kukukid alittlebitofcheek.com.au
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1| Puffer Vest $64.95 3-7 by Ouch Clothing
2| Penguin Tee $39 1-5 by Milk & Masuki
3| Jumpsuit $59.95 0-24m by Minti
ouchclothing.com.au
milkandmasuki.com
iloveminti.com
4| raglan tee $29.99 6-11 by Pumpkin Patch
5| socks $24.95 0-4 by Slugs & Snails
6| contrast tee $27.99 12m-5 by Pumpkin Patch
pumpkinpatch.com.au
babygoesretro.com.au
pumpkinpatch.com.au
7| Jacket $74.95 1-8 by Minti
8| Fur Vest $54.95 2-14 by Havoc Denim
9| boltz shoes $34.95 3-18M by Beautiful Soles
iloveminti.com
havocdenim.com
beautifulsoles.com.au
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FASHION
down to earth your kids are bound to hold their ground with our selection of seasonal basics THIS PAGE: Hoodie $69.95 2-14 & Leggings $39.95 2-14 both by Munsterkids munsterkids.com
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1| Puffer Jacket $54.99 12M-5 by Pumpkin Patch
2| Merino Vest $34.95 0-2Y by Nature Baby
3| Hoodie $34.95 6-24M by Plum
pumpkinpatch.com.au
naturebaby.com.au
plumcollections.com.au
4| Beanie $19.95 by Ouch Clothing
5| Mittens $33.95
6| Knit Jeans $27.99 0-24m by Pumpkin Patch
ouchclothing.com.au
by Acorn acornkids.com.au
pumpkinpatch.com.au
7| Leggings $39.95 0-2Y by Munsterkids
8| Diamond Dress $54.95 2-10 by Minti
9| Boots $79.95 24-36 by Walnut Melbourne
munsterkids.com
iloveminti.com
walnutmelbourne.com
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fashion
FANCY FEET let little kids Romp and stomp through the streets in these solely fabulous kids’ shoes
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THIS PAGE: Next Steps $44.95 5-13 by Beautiful Soles beautifulsoles.com.au
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fashion
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1| Crayons Greta $34.99 23-31 by Williams
2| Cambridge Boots $59.95 20-28 by Skeanie
3| Chase Hi Tops $29.95 22-35 by Billie Kids
williamsshoes.com.au
skeanie.com.au
billieshoes.com
4| Satin Princess $37.99 1-13 by Pumpkin Patch
5| Cloud G $79.99 4-7.5 by Betts Kids
6| Tom Tennis $29.95 24-36 by Walnut Melbourne
pumpkinpatch.com.au
bettskids.com.au
walnutmelbourne.com
7| Sugar Rain Boots $79.95 5-10 by Mini Melissa
8| Raffy Gumboots $39.95 24-36 by Walnut Melbourne
9| Leather Booties $39.95 S-L by Mooce
melissaaustralia.com.au
walnutmelbourne.com
mooce.com.au
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shopping COMPARE
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BACK ME UP whether they’re for daycare or playdates with mates, these super cool backpacks are a must
THIS PAGE: Beatrix NY Nigel $49.95 beatrixny.com.au
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shopping compare | backpacks
Green Sprouts
Lassig
On Safari Lion $27 forbabyandup.com.au
Wildlife Turtle $39.95 lassig.com.au
MIBO
Dabbawalla Bags
Tyrrell Katz UK
Whale $48 littlefrenchy.com.au
Blushing Monkey US$40 dabbawallabags.com
Dinosaur $40 lkgifts.com.au
Penny Scallan
Stuck On You
Uanyi
Juice Apple $39.95 pennyscallan.com.au
Zoo Days $49.95 stuckonyou.com.au
Canvas Pixel $119 upixel.com.au
BOBBLE ART Dinosaur $39.95 australiangeographic. com.au.au
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LĂ„SSIG IS commItted to envIronmentaL reSponSIbILIty.
www.lassig.com.au
Proudly distributed by the amazing baby company Email sales@theamazingbabycompany.com.au
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INTERIORS REPORT
Circus bizurcus Give your youngster’s room a magical touch with animal-antic accessories and carousel favourites in a feast of festival colours
Circus Duvet Cover £45 by Joules joules.com
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Furniture, bedding & dĂŠcor for the modern child Shop online 24/7 at www.thelittlekidzcloset.com.au
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Honeycomb Garland $39 by Poppies for Grace simplysweetsoirees.com.au Pass this On Wall Clock $88 by Habitots habitots.com.au Marquee Light 60cm $350 by Lark larkstore.com.au Croyde Cranberry Cushion $99.95 by Laura Ashley laura-ashley.com.au Elephant cushion ÂŁ20 by Stuf burpboutique.com Ride Cushion Cover $64 by Habitots habitots.com.au Lampshades $69.95 each by Little Lighthouse littlelighthouse.com.au Carnival Stripe Rug $835 by Armadillo & Co hardtofind.com.au Gingham Suitcase Set US$45 by Egmont Toys sundayincolor.com Georgia Cot $1,099 by Incy Interiors
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incyinteriors.com.au
Cirkustalt Children’s Tent $29.99 by Ikea ikea.com/au
Al & Em Elephant Pinboards $129.95 each by The Design Hunter
thedesignhuntershop.com
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Interiors MY SPACE
A zest for lemon One-year-old Oscar Arthur Grose’s gorgeous nursery is perfect for a growing little man, thanks to his mum, Sarah
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• The cute koala toy and cotbed blanket were custom made for Oscar by Shannon from Milly Molly Mandy
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ot only did Sarah Grose enjoy creating little Oscar’s nursery but she discovered a love for styling in the process and has set up a business to boot!
What was your inspiration? I fell in love with all things chevron and was keen to combine this with a more classic whale theme for a boy. For inspiration I researched via Pinterest, magazines and a variety of websites, then it was just a case of sourcing handmade decorative items. I’m a huge fan of Etsy and worked closely with several Etsy shop owners to design nursery items.
How would you describe the room? For a timeless, light and airy feel, I went with a lemon and grey colour scheme. I also wanted something gender neutral. The key elements are the chevron wall feature and the chevron rug – these really bring it all together – and are complemented by carefully chosen artwork.
What about timing and budget? After many months of research and sourcing products, it took a month to pull together! This was my first attempt at painting and I really enjoyed the process. The only furniture I had to buy was the chest of drawers as I already had the cot, change table and chair. I spent $1,500 on soft furnishings, wall art, the rug, decor etc.
Do you have a design mantra? Have a clear vision, pay close attention to detail and select handmade products where possible.
What was Oscar’s reaction? He’s too young to have much of a reaction but he loves his custom-made koala toy!
What’s next? I’ve set up a business selling bundles of handpicked decorative items to give your little one’s nursery a fun “toddler bedroom” makeover. * Contact Sarah at facebook.com/littlenestinteriors.
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PARTY
EFFI & ANNA’S PARTY TIPS
Always decide on a theme based on your child’s actual interests. It will make the party more enjoyable for them. And start planning as soon as possible – time allows you to be organised enough to create the greatest party!
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The very hungry caterpillar Le Petit’s event planners Effi Tsoukatos and Anna Vartanian were inspired by little Zoe Artemis’ favourite storybook when creating her fun first birthday party
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party
“The cake was a simple, clean design: a red fondantcovered mud cake with a fondant hungry caterpillar on top and cut-out fruit shapes around the base�
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• A baker made miniature marzipan fruits
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ccording to Zoe’s mum Anna, Zoe just loves the classic story The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle (Penguin Books, $16.95), which she enjoys being read to her. It was also Zoe’s mother’s favourite childhood storybook. So combined with Zoe’s love of food and eating, it was the perfect theme for her first birthday party.
How did you select the colour scheme? The Very Hungry Caterpillar children’s book has a wonderful array of colours. As the caterpillar is green and red, and we wanted him to be the feature of the party, we made these the main colours. We used other hues such as orange and purple as accent colours, which reflected the fruits and other foods that featured in this classic storybook.
• The central feature was the red tree
us were the party venue, which was Zoe’s house, along with the theme: The Very Hungry Caterpillar. They were the only two things we needed to work with. For us, Anna was the dream client, as we had completely free range to develop an amazing event. The first thing we focused on was creating the invitation. Once the design was finalised, we used the invitation’s bright and colourful feel to design the main cookie dessert table and decorations, party favours, birthday cake plus all of the other elements.
How long did it take to pull together? Including planning time, production time and the set-up time, there was probably a total of 40 hours spent on organising it, and this was spread out over a three-month period.
What steps did you take?
What sort of a budget did you have?
We began planning the party three months in advance. The only two decisions that were made by Zoe’s mother prior to approaching
We had a budget of $3,500 for the main cookie dessert table, birthday cake, party favours and children’s activities. >
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party
Tell us about the key elements First of all, we created the boxed invitations, which featured some of the food items that the caterpillar munched through. We approached a baker who made amazing miniature marzipan fruits and cherry tartlets, and we included a sherbet ice-cream cone and lollipop. They were packaged in simple red boxes with clear lids, and each box was trimmed with a ribbon and a hanging invitation that featured a printed hungry caterpillar. The cookie dessert table was set up in the kitchen area of Zoe’s house, and displayed grass and leaves, along with buckets filled with cookies in the shapes of various fruits. The central feature was the red wooden tree with hanging pear-shaped cookies. The cake was a simple, clean design: a red fondantcovered mud cake with a fondant hungry caterpillar on top and cut-out fruit shapes around the base. The inside and outside of Zoe’s home was decorated with green leaves, artificial grass and bright, fresh flowers to create a beautifully “natural” caterpillar setting. The outdoor verandah area of the house was where many of the children’s activities were conducted, including making hungry caterpillar necklaces and painting their very own hungry caterpillars. It also housed the children’s drinks (a delicious “caterpillar” juice), which the kids drank from their own personalised green and red bottles.
• Invitations boxed with “food items”
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All the children participated in a treasure hunt through the garden, where they had to discover the food that the hungry caterpillar had munched through. These items included red swirl lollipops, personalised chocolate bars and little bags of caterpillar food (lolly-shaped fruits). Each little guest filled up their hungry caterpillar container with these items to take home and enjoy, and they each also received a jar of “caterpillar playdough” as a favour. It was a fantastic event to be a part of!
What was Zoe’s reaction? Zoe was amazed at everything, and was all smiles and laughs the entire day. She loved the bright colours and spent much of the afternoon dancing around.
So what’s next? Anna has already started planning Zoe’s next birthday, which will of course be as wonderful as this party! We have many christenings and birthday parties that we are currently styling – our vintage-inspired and pretty carousel themes have been popular for girls this year while the hot-air balloon and nautical themes have been sought after for boys. We enjoy creating magical events, and are always excited to design something new for our clients. * To chat with Effi and Anna from Le Petit, phone 02 9547 3535, email sales@lepetit.com.au or you can take a look at lepetit.com.au.
• Red swirl lollipops for the treasure hunt
“Both the inside and outside of Zoe’s home were decorated with green leaves, artificial grass and bright, fresh flowers”
• The hunt included “caterpillar food” bags
• “Caterpillar playdough” for the favours
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M
COOKING
This recipe uses the flavour of sunflower seeds to add a delicious “nutty� taste to the common pumpkin soup. Plus sunflower seeds are packed with antioxidants and magnesium, which are great for bone health, especially important for the younger ones. There are also variations for babies and toddlers.
Stacey is a mum of one who is dedicated to developing and sharing healthy and easy-to-make recipes that the whole family can enjoy. She is currently studying to be a health coach with a major emphasis on nutrition for mothers and children. To find out more go to ahealthymum.com, email stace@ahealthymum.com or head to facebook.com/ahealthymumpage.
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My sweet pumpkin! Stacey Deutscher from A Healthy Mum turns the common pumpkin soup into a warming winter favourite with the “nutty” flavour of sunflower seeds
NOT-SO-NUTTY PUMPKIN SOUP PREP TIME 10 minutes
COOKING TIME 1¼ hours
SERVES 4
INGREDIENTS 1 medium butternut pumpkin, cut in half, approx 900g ½ leek, roughly chopped ½ cup sunflower seed butter 2 cups chicken stock ¼ cup coconut cream 1 large lime, juiced 1 teaspoon dried chilli flakes salt and pepper, to season 1 sourdough loaf 2 tablespoons grated full-fat cheese, for the toddler version
METHOD • Preheat the oven to 190°C. Place both halves of the cut pumpkin on an oven tray skin side down, bake for 1 hour, or until the flesh is soft and tender. After 40 minutes add the leek. Bake for the remaining 20 minutes so that it softens too. Remove from the oven. • Use a spoon to remove the pumpkin flesh and place in a food processor bowl. Lay the pumpkin skin on a baking-paper lined oven tray and bake until crispy and crouton-like, approx 10 minutes. • Remove some pumpkin for the baby version. Add the sunflower seed butter, 1 cup of the chicken stock and the coconut cream to the pumpkin in the food processor then blitz. Once combined, transfer to a large saucepan and bring to the boil. Remove enough for the toddler version. Add the remaining stock and simmer for a few minutes before serving. • Garnish with the lime juice and chilli flakes, then season with salt and pepper. Serve the croutons and sourdough on the side.
BABY VERSION To make a version that’s ideal for babies simply add a teaspoon of the sunflower seed butter to the pumpkin you left on the side from the third step and serve.
TODDLER VERSION Cut 2 slices off the bread, sprinkle with the grated cheese and bake in a 190°C oven until bubbling. Serve with the thick pumpkin soup that you left on the side from the third step.
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NEWS
GOOD NUTRITION
How to use coconut oil for weight loss Packed full of medium-chain fatty acids, which boost your metabolism, coconut oil has been found to stabilise blood sugar and make us feel fuller for longer, making it a great aid for shedding post-baby kilos. Here are some easy ways to include coconut oil in your diet: • Eat a tablespoon of extra virgin coconut oil before every meal • Use it to replace butter or margarine when baking • Cook stir-fries, roast vegies and other meals with it • Make a salad dressing with coconut oil, lemon and herbs • Add it to protein smoothies.
More than one million Australians regularly purchase organic food and beverages
beat obesity
Leading dietitians Justine Hawke and Sally Johnston have found overweight kids are consuming up to twice their energy needs owing to hidden sugar and fat in common foods. They have released Spoons for Thought ($39.95) a visual reference guide that shows how many teaspoons of fat and sugar are lurking in your food, and how to reduce your child’s energy load without them going hungry. See spoonsforthought.com.au.
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drink up!
When you’re pregnant, it can feel like there’s not enough water in the world to slake your thirst. Instead of turning to a sugar-laden soft drink or “nutritional water”, try AquaMamma. This electrolyte drink was created by an obstetrician concerned about the drinks he saw in his patients’ hands! AquaMamma contains half the sugar of sports drinks or coconut water and is available in packs of six priced from $27. Look for it in clinics, cafes and pharmacies, or shop online at aquamamma.com.
DOWNLOAD:
VEGIES FOR A
song
If you’re trying to convince the kids that good food is great, a new DVD can help. It’s Yummy Tummy Time is a collection of songs and stories by children’s “edutainer” Aunty Rozzy. This dynamic DVD, $19.95, will appeal to two- to eight-year-olds with songs like Little Green Courgettes, the Veggie Everyone Forgets! Visit auntyrozzy.com.
Tuck in for A fibre boost
Your body requires higher levels of fibre when you’re pregnant or are breastfeeding, and this increases with age. To ensure you’re getting enough dietary fibre, choose wholegrains, eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and drink lots of water (you can even buy tasteless soluble fibre!). Aussie Tucker’s Natural Multifibre snacks are delicious on their own, with dips or crumbled over salads and soup. Priced from $3.99 they come in six different flavours from Woolworths, Coles and online at tuckersnatural.com.au.
Pinky’s FREE Ebook “Making More Mummy Milk Naturally” www.boobiebikkies.com.au
Want More Mummy Milk? I woke up in the middle of the night to find my boobs were trying to take over the world! I actually had to wake little Max to relieve me of some milk... Meryl, Sydney
Created by Pinky McKay, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant and best-selling Baby care author, Boobie Bikkies – all natural and organic ‘superfood’ cookies are rich in nutrients to boost your energy and support a healthy breast milk supply.
Boobie Bikkies Just Grab and Go
NEW GLUTEN & DAIRY FREE Individually wrapped cookies now come in 3 delicious flavours:
• Organic Oat and Vanilla • Organic Oat, Orange and Cinnamon • Coconut, Date & Seed (Gluten & Dairy Free) Try Boobie Bikkies today! Grab a free sample at www.boobiebikkies.com.au
Order Online at www.boobiebikkies.com.au and use coupon code MYCHILD07 for free postage! Coupon valid until 20 July 2014. Not valid for samples or subscriptions.
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news | good nutrition
Kids consume high levels of sulphites
One of the most commonly used preservatives, sulphites are found in a wide range of foods, from fresh prawns and grapes to pickles and hot chips. Sulphites are believed to destroy thiamine (vitamin B1) and can cause serious problems for asthmatics. Owing to the prevalence of treated foods in some kids’ diets, children can consume especially high levels of this preservative. The worst offenders are dried fruit, minced meat, sausages and desiccated coconut. Look for numbers ranging from 220 to 228 in the ingredients listing and visit fedup.com.au for more information.
77% of ready-to-eat deli meats have bacterial levels that do not meet food standards guidelines. Cheese sandwich, anyone?
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Dad needs to watch the junk food, too Mothers should avoid eating junk food during pregnancy and while breastfeeding to ensure healthy eating preferences in their bubs and to prevent metabolic conditions that could lead to obesity in their children. But it seems mums aren’t the only ones who need to shape up. Researchers at The University of Adelaide, SA, have found that dad’s weight and fitness level played an important factor in their offspring’s health too. In the study, which used
rats, fathers who lost weight, exercised more and ate healthily before conceiving a child increased the number of cells that support the growth and development of their baby. Compared to 30 years ago, men are three times as likely to be obese during their reproductive years, coinciding with an increase in male infertility. Research suggests better outcomes for everyone if men take control of their health in preparation for fatherhood.
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MUMMY BLOGGERS
Reality check Reading blogs is a great way to discover what other mothers’ lives are really like. Each month we feature mummy blogs of all kinds so read on to find your favourites to follow. Hannah Saunders reports How did you first get into blogging?
PARENTAL PARODY
Georgia Johnson from parentalparody.com is busy with three children: an eight-year-old daughter and five-year-old boy/girl twins. She and her husband live in Perth, WA.
Tell us about your blog Being that my own preparations for becoming a parent consisted of reading Kaz Cooke’s Up The Duff (Penguin, $45), I was keen to share my frequent parenting fails, face-palm moments and honest (read: sarcastic) opinions on day-today life as a mum. I have absolutely no useful tips (beyond stocking up on wine in the lead-up to the school holidays). Heartfelt moments are few and far between (mostly when the kids are asleep and at their most endearing). My blog is more about finding the funny and lamenting the other side of parenting. Because if you can’t laugh, what hope have you got?
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I talk a lot. When I found myself at home with my first child, there was nobody to benefit from my lame jokes and sarcasm. At the same time, I was feeling quite lonely and isolated from adult conversation. I’d launch into a babbling explosion of random comments the second my husband walked in the door. When I couldn’t wait for him to get home, I’d email pretty much everyone who had ever given me their email address. One of my regular victims/recipients pointed out that, while my emails were indeed entertaining (detailing my frequent parenting failures), they were also endless, and very, very long. In the spirit of “sharing the love”, a public blog was her suggestion (I suspect it was more to “share the burden”). A perfect example, right there – probably could’ve explained that in two brief, succinct sentences.
How do you find the time? Finally, all three kids are at school full-time (picture me doing a fist pump). I only work parttime, so that means I can now blog during the day… which I’ve always done, only now it’s without realising halfway through a post that I’ve started typing the kids’ argument taking place in the toy room over Dora vs Barbie.
What do you love about blogging? It’s an outlet and I’m an over-sharer – it’s a match made in heaven! I especially love it when people acknowledge the same experiences and feelings with their own kids. My husband is also thrilled that I no longer go all “tourettes” on him the second he walks in the door. It also makes an excellent bribery tool, as his boss reads the blog and I need only threaten to blog anything annoying and he immediately ceases and desists out of fear of exposure.
Any advice for beginners? Just do it. If you’re really sure you want to, and you have enough ideas to sustain you for more than a month, then go for it.
Which is your favourite blog post? Life’s big questions according to the feral threesome.
Poppy for my family and friends who live further afield. Now, 600 posts later, it’s nearly three years old!
How do you find the time? It is challenging but the blog is really important to me and so I make time in the evenings or do a quick post in-between playing with my kids on the floor!
What do you love about blogging? Sharing the experiences we have together in our beautiful state of Tasmania. I also love capturing images of our kids and seeing how much they’ve changed over time. I’m creating a memento of our young family – one that will always be treasured for years to come.
Any advice for beginners? I knew nothing about blogging when I started but through perseverance and a desire to learn I have stumbled my way through. I use the WordPress platform and find there is so much support online when uncertainty strikes. I also believe if you really love something it will be pleasurable – just go for it!
THE POPPY FILES
Which is your favourite blog post? This boating life.
Larni Davies has two children – three-year-old Poppy and James, 10 months – and lives with her partner in Tasmania’s Hobart. Her blog is larnidavies.com.
Tell us about your blog The Poppy Files is about a girl named Poppy, whose mum loves: Design. Boating. Cashmere. Champagne. Chocolate. Family. Mountains. Fashion. Friends. Leather. Shoes. Snow. Travel. And most importantly my man, kids and dog.
QUITTING THE QUICK FIX
Based on the Gold Coast in Queensland, Kate Thompson is married to Ben, and they have two boys, two-and-a-half-year-old Joseph and Caleb, one. Her blog is quittingthequickfix.com.
How did you first get into blogging?
Tell us about your blog
When Poppy was four months old, I needed a creative outlet apart from being a full-time mother. I started out documenting photos of
QTQF came about after the birth of my second baby. It was a hectic time and I was in survival mode, relying on any and every quick fix to >
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mummy bloggers try and get by. I got to a point though where I had to draw a line in the sand. It was time to make better, more sustainable choices. I started my blog to keep me accountable and encourage other mums in the same situation.
How did you first get into blogging? I’ve dabbled in blogging for a few years now on a purely hobby level but started QTQF about a year ago. I’m still finding my voice but I’ve been learning so much and working hard behind the scenes so I’m excited about what lies ahead.
MUMMY HEARTS MONEY
Elise Ellabban is based in Sydney, NSW. She and her partner have three kids: Madeleine, 13, Lorelei, three, and Sebastian, who’s one. Head to mummyheartsmoney.blogspot.com.
How do you find the time?
Tell us about your blog
I enjoy blogging but it is definitely a labour of love. I also work as a freelance writer so it is a juggling act of squeezing in time during naps and after the boys are in bed. I often forsake TV and hand over dishwashing duty to my husband to make it happen. A timer is slowly becoming my ally to keep me on track!
My blog is mostly personal, with a focus on living life to the full on a shoestring budget. Life shouldn’t be about sacrifices; it should be about smart choices so that you enjoy every minute.
What do you love about blogging? I love to write and have a creative outlet. I love the community of other bloggers and I love how it stretches my mind at this crazy stage of life when I’m otherwise immersed in dirty nappies and toddler tantrums.
Any advice for beginners? Don’t worry about all the pretty stuff or the audience you are hoping to connect with, just jump in and commit to one month of posting a couple of times a week. You’ll have a much better idea of whether it is for you and what direction you want to take it in after that time because, believe me, it changes.
How did you first get into blogging? I was lonely after taking a break from work with my second daughter. Blogging provided a chance to write, connect and play. I have tried out countless new products, been on a cruise and interstate for blogging conferences, and enjoyed plenty of local blogging events.
How do you find the time? Scheduling tools give the illusion that I’m online at more friendly hours, but really it’s a midnight activity. The housework suffers for it but my hubby is awesome about picking up the slack.
What do you love about blogging? The community. It’s insane how great it is to get a comment from a stranger letting me know they read my blog on their commute each day.
Which is your favourite blog post?
Any advice for beginners?
Lessons from a temporary single mum. I wrote this after my husband returned from his third trip away in less than four months while I was home with a newborn and toddler. It was great to connect with readers through the comments and know I wasn’t alone.
Just focus on the fun and not the statistics. If you’re doing it for the money it’s hard work and not nearly as much fun as for the community.
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Which is your favourite blog post? Raising a financially savvy teen.
PIPER & POPPIES
Ashley Williamson and her fiancé, Lindsay, are parents to two littlies. Poppy is aged one and Piper is three. They’re based in Margaret River, WA. You can check out Ashley’s blog at piperandpoppies.com.
Tell us about your blog My blog is focused on being a mother to my little girls. It’s essentially a series that’s based on different parenting topics and interests ranging from decor to diapers.
How did you first get into blogging? I started blogging in 2007 while I was teaching in a remote community. I started as a craft and photography blogger but becoming a mother changed all of my interests and direction!
How do you find the time? I also teach part-time so time isn’t something that I have a lot of, but I have passion, and with that you find the time. I usually blog in the early mornings, nap times and after the little people are fast asleep.
What do you love about blogging? The people I have met. Some have become dear (real) friends. It’s an amazing community.
Any advice for beginners? Don’t try and have a certain style. Be yourself. There is a place for all of us. Leave comments on other blogs, be social and make friends.
Which is your favourite blog post? A guide to early waking for toddlers and babies. *
Hand-illustrated furniture for your child. Designs inspired by you to create magical spaces for your child!
pinkcoyote.com.au facebook.com/pinkcoyote.com.au
M 0414 260 110
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MY CHILD PROMOTION
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WHAT’S IN STORE
On the cards
perfect pack
This creative and colourful Batman-inspired handmade card by Made With Love, $12, is made with over 25 individually assembled pieces of card stock. The card can also be personalised with a name, age or printed note at madewithlovecardsandcrafts.com.au.
Bottomsup organic products contain the finest ingredients and the Moisture Pack with 125ml Moistsurpriser and 100ml Baby Balmy Bottom Butter is ideal for babies who are prone to skin irritations. The eco-friendly set is $32.50 at bottomsup.com.au.
Sling it my way
CRAFT TIME
Minimonkey’s 4 in 1 Baby Sling is the ultimate way to carry bub safely and comfortably. Retailing at $79.90, it can also be used as a hammock in the cot, is machine washable and made from 100 percent cotton. Go to kiekaboo.com.au to browse the range.
Mosa Craft is the creation of children’s book illustrator and author Thomas Swift. Every piece is designed as a one-off mural, suitable for your child’s bedroom or play area. These bold vinyl murals retail from $110 per square metre. Visit mosacraft.com.au.
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Goodbye germs
DREAM ON
Since 1916, Milton Antibacterial Tablets, $6.99, have been tried and tested for protecting your baby from harmful germs. The tablets allow you to sterilise bottles, toys etc in 15 minutes, killing bacteria. The solution lasts 24 hours. Visit miltonbaby.com.au.
New from Cuski, this black bamboo muslin, $34.95, is the first of its kind in the world! It can be used as a pram block-out, baby wrap, breastfeeding shawl, mama wrap and more! Head over to yourcheekymonkey.com.au for more information.
Head over heels
Sure-fire shampoo
From Johnson’s Baby, this Top-to-Toe wash retails from $5.49 and it is the number-one choice in hospitals. An ultra-mild cleanser for baby’s skin and hair, it’s even gentle to use for newborns. Plus it’s soap- and dye-free, and dermatologically tested. Head over to johnsonsbaby.com.au to discover more of the Johnson’s Baby skincare range.
Baby Sebamed shampoo is great for little ones with eczema or skin sensitivities. It is soap-free and developed by dermatologists plus it contains natural herbal extracts for healthy hair growth. Priced from $9.95, buy it online at sebamed.com.au.
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NEWS
PREGNANCY&BIRTH New app for sharing, privately
For those who love the convenience of Facebook and Instagram but don’t fancy sharing their private moments on a public platform, the new app Pic’n’Roll provides the perfect solution. Using a secure six-digit password, selected friends and family can share albums (rolls), which are updated the instant you snap a shot using the app. Available for free on Mac and Android, visit picnrollapp.com.
Your body for science
What actually happens to your body when you’re pregnant? Well, that’s exactly what a nutrition and dietetics team from the University of the Sunshine Coast (USC), Qld, is trying to find out. The researchers will use techniques usually reserved for elite athletes to assess body composition, metabolism and more throughout pregnancy. USC is now recruiting women in their first trimester of pregnancy. To participate, email lswanepo@usc.edu.au, phone 0404 060 200 or visit facebook. com/theCHANGEstudy.
None’s the limit
One of Australia’s key researchers in pregnancy and alcohol says it’s best to play it safe and avoid drinking when expecting Dr Colleen O’Leary, adjunct research fellow at Telethon Kids Institute for Child Health Research in Perth, WA, has reviewed all existing evidence on low-level alcohol exposure and concluded that the current guidelines are correct. Although there is still no clear evidence that one drink per day will affect foetal development negatively, no-one can say for sure it won’t, either. Dr O’Leary did find, however, that the point at which alcohol consumption becomes dangerous to a foetus is only marginally higher than what’s considered low-level drinking. For this reason, she says pregnant women should continue to abstain altogether.
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Support from bump to baby Expectant and new mums can call on expert health advice whenever, wherever, with a new Bump to Baby service. Chat with experienced midwives via phone, email, Skype or SMS about any pregnancy concerns, birth plans, feeding and sleep issues you’re experiencing. Find out more at bump-to-baby.com.au.
Birth
au naturel How to practise restraint
The safest way to wear a seatbelt when you are pregnant is with the lap belt beneath your baby bump, across the tops of your thighs. This will prevent damage to your baby or the placenta in the case of a minor accident. If you find the belt is uncomfortable or rides up, or you want extra reassurance, the Dreambaby Bump Belt is a device that holds the seatbelt in the correct position and can be transferred easily from car to car. Visit dreambaby.com.au for more information.
A new US reality TV program will show women giving birth unassisted, in nature. Despite the title of the show being Born in the Wild, the women will actually be labouring in a natural setting close to hospitals and with emergency teams on stand-by. The show was inspired by the popularity of a YouTube video showing an Australian doula giving birth to her fourth child by a creek in the rainforest at the Daintree National Park in Queensland, which has been viewed more than 23 million times.
When she first lays eyes on you, baby’s eyes will dilate. That’s her way of saying you are the most beautiful person in her world!
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news | pregnancy & birth
Four ways to prevent PND from recurring Mums who’ve experienced postnatal depression (PND) in the past can significantly reduce the risk of recurrence with some preparation, support and therapy. Melbourne-based parenting coach Shirley Taylor says it is essential to identify the individual triggers of PND, which can range from lack of sleep to feeding issues or isolation, and devise strategies to avoid or overcome these triggers. Taylor, who experienced PND with her first child, offers a range of coaching programs for parents, including the MotherCalm Postnatal Depression Prevention Program. To ward off PND, Shirley offers these four tips to use while you’re pregnant:
1 2 3 4
Identify what makes you happy and spend a little time doing something for you every day. Try to recognise your triggers and search for solutions to them. Prepare yourself physically for the journey ahead by eating well and getting plenty of gentle exercise and rest before the baby is born. Enlist the support of family and friends. They often want to help but don’t know how – talking to them before the arrival of your baby about specific ways they can assist enables them to be useful and takes the pressure off you once your new bub comes along. Visit purepotentialcoaching.com.au.
More than 18 months between pregnancies means you are less likely to have a pre-term birth 84
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directory
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PREGNANCY&BIRTH
shopping
romp on Cool kids’ fashion label Kapow Kids has you set for the season with this geometric-printed, appliqued Stormy II Romper. Priced at $34.95, this longsleeved style is made from 100 percent organic cotton. And as if that isn’t awesome enough, Kapow Kids’ products are made fair-trade in India. You can browse the range at kapowkids.com.au for more fab finds.
bag me happy Budu’s Baby Bag is practical and stylish! This beautiful looking high-quality leather bag functions as a nappy bag, so you’ll have everything at your fingertips. With easy-clean lining, four big zip compartments, a padded change mat and insulated bottle holder, it retails for $349. See budu.com.au.
cosy up Manufactured from European birch, the Troll Sun Bedside Bassinet also acts as a co-sleeper. Place it right by your bed and drop one side down so you have easy access for breastfeeding and settling your baby. Purchase for $379.95 from danishbydesign.com.au.
swaddle safe The practice of swaddling has been used for centuries as it recreates a womb-like environment and Ergobaby Swaddlers are designed to produce that calming and soothing effect for your bub. They are priced at $69 for a pack of two and made from 100 percent cotton terry knit. Visit babesinarms.com.au.
Urban stroller Getting around with your baby, running errands and being a busy parent has never been easier thanks to the City Mini Stroller by Baby Jogger. Retailing at $399 and available in four colours, this stroller is perfect for urban living. It’s lightweight, compact and nimble, with a practical design and sleek features. A travel system is also available. To find out more details about it visit babyjoggerstrollers.com.au.
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rest easy
UNIQUE NAPPY BAGS FOR EVERY-MUM
New Zealand’s Cariboo Infant Sleep Bags, $119 each, are made from pure New Zealand merino wool with a 100 percent cotton outer, and are available in soft beige, blue and pink. An easy alternative to swaddling while still helping your baby feel safe and secure, find your sleep bag at cariboo.com.au.
it’s a wrap Designed for style, comfort and versatility, the Beck’s Ribbed Knit Faux Wrap Cardi by Mothers en Vogue is available in two colours for $85.95. The beautiful wrap styling with waist belt detailing accommodates a growing belly and is also convenient for discreet nursing once bub is born. Check out milkandlove.com.au.
you’re the one! Now available in khaki, Baby Bjorn’s Baby Carrier One, $199.95, is a classic design with four front and back positions for your newborn. Plus it’s safe and easy to move bub from front to back positioning while you are out. Head over to babybjorn.com.au.
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WIPE CLEAN
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shopping | pregnancy & birth
blanket love
memories are made of this
Minimink specialises in soft, quality faux fur products. The original and best-selling newborn Baby Blanket, $99.95, is now available in seven sweet colours. With a cream jersey lining, the 100cm square blanket is machine-washable and safe to tumble dry. Visit minimink.com.au.
Create lasting impressions of your young one’s hands or feet with Belly Art’s Baby Imprint Kit. Priced at $24.95, this is a kit like no other as there’s no baking or mixing involved, plus it’s mess-free, easy to use and safe for baby. View the video at bellyart.com.au.
suits me Priced from $84.95, Ergopouch’s 3.5 tog two-in-one Sleepsuit Bag quickly converts from a sleeping bag to a sleepsuit with legs. Ideal for the transition between cot and car, it has slip-proof foot pads and zippers for easy nappy changes. Get yours from ergopouch.com.au in sizes 2-12M, 12-36M and 3-6Y.
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pull up a chair
pick me!
Mantha & You’s Monte Design Como Glider, $1,599, has a smooth glide plus an extra soft seat and back cushion. Complementing the fabric is the solid wood base that gives the glider a sleek modern look. It also comes with a matching lumbar pillow for extra back support and you can match it with the Luca Ottoman, $599. Head to manthandyou. com.au to order the set today!
With 12 stickers in each $18.95 pack, these month-bymonth stickers from babbleonbaby.com. au help you capture memories of your bub as they grow. Simply stick one to your baby’s outfit and take photos to capture their first 12 months!
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PREGNANCY
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Out of joint? If you’re experiencing any muscle or joint pain during your pregnancy it may be time to call a physiotherapist, say the experts at victoria’s The Royal Women’s Hospital
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ntenatal care aims to ensure that your growing baby is well medically, which is obviously of vital importance. Taking care of you, the mother, is also important. If you are experiencing a problem with muscle or joint pain, let your midwife or doctor know so that they can refer you to a women’s health physiotherapist. Don’t let common aches and pains lessen the enjoyment of your pregnancy. Exercise well, allow some time for rest and recovery, and, above all, listen to your body and request the assistance you need as soon as you need it.
SEPARATION (DIASTASIS) OF THE RECTUS ABDOMINIS MUSCLE There are two sets of abdominal muscles, one on each side of the abdomen, joined together in the midline by a fibrous sheath that is less stretchy than the muscles. These abdominal muscles stretch over a baby as it grows. To protect these abdominal muscles from overstretching, the less stretchy midline sheath gradually widens. The widened gap in the centre of the abdomen is called a diastasis, or
separation, of the abdominal muscles, and it is a protective feature rather than a dramatic injury. Stretched and separated muscles may not provide full support for the back however, increasing the risk of back pain and back injury. Physiotherapy for separation of the rectus abdominis muscle Treatment is aimed at learning how to use the abdominal muscles effectively during all activities, to relieve stretch on the muscles. If the diastasis is large, you may be prescribed a support garment to support your abdomen for the rest of the pregnancy. The support garment can also be worn after the birth, up until the diastasis has healed, which is usually in six to eight weeks. Avoid lifting and straining with the abdomen, and sit-up exercises.
PREGNANCY-RELATED PELVIC PAIN Pain in the pelvic joints may develop during or after pregnancy. Pelvic pain may be due to hormonal changes that soften the ligaments of the pelvis, or to changes in your posture or increased pressure on the pelvis due to the >
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pregnancy growth of the baby. These changes can then place strain on the pelvic joints, making them inflamed and painful. Pelvic pain is felt in the front or the back of the pelvis, in the buttocks and groin, and sometimes radiating into the thighs. An obvious sign of pelvic joint pain is walking with the “pregnant waddle”. Pelvic pain can be made worse by: prolonged or fast walking, getting in and out of the bed or the car, rolling over in bed, going up and down stairs, deep squatting or lunging, standing on one leg (as in when putting on pants), moving from a sitting to a standing position, or highimpact exercise (like running and jumping). Pelvic pain lessens with relative rest rather than pushing through the pain. This means avoiding the activities that cause any pain. Rest may also mean using crutches to walk, and in the most severe cases, bed rest. Physiotherapy for pelvic pain Treatment is aimed at learning pain-relieving strategies, such as use of an icepack, and may also involve wearing a pelvic support belt. If your buttock muscles are in spasm because of the pain, you will learn trigger-point massage and stretches. You’ll then be advised to practise strengthening exercises for your hip and pelvic muscles so the pelvis gains stability from the muscles surrounding the softened pelvic joints. You’ll also be taught tips for managing pelvic pain during labour and during the time just after your baby is born.
LOWER BACK PAIN Lower back pain is very common in pregnancy. Up to 50 percent of women experience back pain at some time, and for one-third of these women it is severe. Because it is so common, it is often seen as an inevitable part of pregnancy and so not reported to the medical team until the pain is disabling. The causes are mostly weight gain and postural change leading to a forward drag on the spinal joints (“sway back”), combined with hormonal softening of joints,
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which makes them more vulnerable to strain. Fatigue and spasm of the back muscles occurs as they work hard to hold up the spine and the growing baby and uterus. This muscle spasm is felt as back pain. You are more at risk of back pain if you have had previous back pain, have weak abdominal muscles, are overweight, do strenuous repetitive work or have joint hypermobility (unusually supple joints). It is extremely rare for lower back pain in pregnancy to be caused by a disc injury. Physiotherapy for lower back pain Treatment follows three pathways: • pain relief through regular use of ice or heat packs and wearing a support belt • postural correction through learning postural changes and correct lifting techniques to keep the spine in best alignment and lessen the drag on spinal joints • strengthening back and abdominal muscles through exercises so that they can support the weight of the growing baby. The greatest benefit will result if these strategies are incorporated into daily activities.
UPPER BACK PAIN Towards pregnancy’s end the uterus presses up under the diaphragm. This pressure makes the work of breathing harder, especially during exercise. To compensate for this, the ribs flare out to the sides as you breathe, which may cause a sharp pain under the shoulder blades that radiates around the chest. Women whose work involves sitting at a computer for long hours are often affected by this sharp pain. Physiotherapy for upper back pain Chest pain can cause anxiety, so education about its causes will assist. Pain relief can be achieved with regular use of ice or heat packs and wearing a thoracic support to keep the upper back in alignment. You will also learn flexibility exercises, and be advised against high-intensity exercise in the last trimester.
CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME Carpal tunnel syndrome is a condition that causes pins and needles, numbness or burning and stiff, painful hands. The carpal tunnel is a small passage in the wrist where nerves and tendons pass from the arm into the hand and fingers. During pregnancy, hormones cause fluid retention. When this happens, the nerves running through the carpal tunnel may become squashed and react by causing pins and needles in the fingers. The symptoms may be worse at night and radiate back up the arm, making sleep difficult. Constant movement of the hands and heavy lifting make the condition worse. If it persists after birth, care must be taken when lifting and caring for the baby. Physiotherapy for carpal tunnel syndrome Treatment is aimed at relieving the pain, and reducing the hand movements and swelling. wA compression bandage or wrist splint will often be prescribed to limit hand movement and any swelling, along with the application of ice or other cooling to the hand and wrist. The physiotherapist will advise elevating the arms when sitting, teach some simple fluid drainage massage, and give tips for managing wrist and hand pain during labour and breastfeeding. * This is an edited extract from The Women’s Health Book (William Heinemann Australia, $35). For more details go to thewomenshealthbook.com.
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PRE-CONCEPTION PREGNANCY BREASTFEEDING
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PREGNANCY
The miracle of meditation Feeling stressed or anxious about your pregnancy, impending birth or new baby? These tips from Zen meditation master Yogi Brahmasamhara will assist
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he author of the newly released book for mums-to-be Meditation for Motherhood: Gentle Zen Meditation for Conception, Pregnancy and Birth is Yogi Brahmasamhara (Brahm), a meditation master from the Meditation Sanctuaries in Sydney, NSW. Brahm is Australian born but, from the age of 20, he spent five years studying meditation with an Indian yogi and then another three years in a Japanese monastery with Suni Kaisan, a Zen meditation master and monk. Brahm has now practised and taught Zen for almost 40 years. After writing a book on Zen meditation, Awakening, he had no idea that his next book would be on conception, pregnancy and birth. But some unexpected and startling comments from pregnant students were the beginning of a writing journey that culminated in his new book… For me, the first “clue” that authentic Zen
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meditation may be of profound value to women at all stages of the motherhood journey came when a young pregnant student told me that her baby had stopped moving for three days after she’d enjoyed a long meditation. Naturally anxious, she visited her specialist who explained that they were both fine and the baby had also been meditating. The second was another student who had recently given birth after practising meditation throughout her pregnancy. She told me she was so peaceful and calm during the birth that she had actually fallen asleep between contractions. In then contacting many other new mothers who had practised meditation while pregnant, it slowly dawned on me that meditation may be significant in other aspects of the pregnancy/ birthing process, such as increasing the chance of overcoming difficulties in falling pregnant >
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pregnancy
SIMPLE MEDITATION EXERCISE To get a little taste of the wonderment of meditation, you might like to try this simple meditation exercise in letting go of tension. Even this one practice, done daily, can have great benefit on your wellbeing quite quickly! Lie down on your back with your arms away from the body, ankles a little apart and hands facing down. Stiffen your whole body (including your face muscles) and hold comfortably for about 15 seconds. Take a minute or so then very slowly release the tension in your whole body – all at the same time. Next we take the “relaxation” deeper, letting go of more tension in little body areas, one at a time. Focus on each area in the following order: start with the muscles around your eyes (very important), then your face, scalp, neck, arms (one at a time), hands, fingers – right to the tips – slowly down the body, chest, stomach, lower body, back, buttocks, thighs, calves, feet and toes. Focus on each part. Be aware of just that part and keep letting go, one little bit at a time, then move on. Do this until you think that this time you are really relaxed. Then think like you are an iceblock in the sun and visualise your whole body “just melting”. Try keeping your awareness in your body and how it is feeling. Just allow yourself to relish the enjoyment of your experience of being tension free. Complete the practice very slowly so that you “don’t spill the calm”. Enjoy!
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(including IVF) as well as a vastly increased possibility of a completely natural delivery. For example, in my admittedly tiny sample of about 35 meditating new mothers, only 13 percent had experienced intervention of one kind or another at birth – quite meaningless to me until my subsequent research showed that more than 90 percent of women in Australia do not experience a totally natural childbirth. In fact, 37 percent of births are by Caesarean (an astonishing 74 percent increase in only 20 years) whereas only two of the meditating mothers delivered their babies in that way, both for medical reasons. Further research worldwide showed that healthcare experts and scientists are now using meditation to reduce stress in IVF (a subsequent 60 percent increase in success rates) and that a significant number of the world’s 40 percent of “inexplicably infertile” couples who meditate are becoming mums and dads after all!
CONFLICTING “EXPERT” OPINIONS Another very important issue drummed its way through in talking to many more mums (particularly non-meditators). One deeply recurring theme was that virtually all had experienced anxiety, confusion and even deep distress over conflicting “expert” opinions – not on the scientific understanding of foetal development or the medical side of baby’s basic health but, incredibly, the key natural aspects of the early nurturing of the little one: crying, comforting, feeding and sleeping! I found that the utter naturalness of nurturing a newborn has seemingly gone “off the rails”. Mothers are being conditioned to heed the often ridiculous expectations and false advice saturating modern society. They are beginning to forget the age-old practice of listening first to their own innate wisdom and also to the clear messages every baby conveys from the second of birth. As one mother said to me, ‘Don’t they know that, deep down, we know!’
neW INHERENT WISDOM The key message in the book then became: the greatest wisdom on caring for your little one is inherent in both you and the baby, passed into your very genes through countless generations before you. In Meditation for Motherhood, I say authentic Zen meditation is not a miracle that gives you a golden pass to the perfect pregnancy, perfect delivery and perfect way of having a positive influence on your baby’s experiences. However, it is the most natural and beautiful practice available to drill right into that innate wisdom. Meditation is now proven worldwide to help women become calm, poised, deeply focused,
SWADDLER
Helps babies sleep longer, safely and more peacefully. 1
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“Healthcare experts and scientists are now using meditation to reduce stress in IVF (a subsequent 60 percent increase in success rates)” peaceful of being, awake and wiser in all the motherhood situations they may face. In practical terms, meditation is the wisest and most successful way to de-stress through learning how to let go of tension, breathe right, damp down the mind worry and apprehension, and deeply focus on “just this”. Above all, it becomes a complete, confidence-building support resource from conception to bonding. So that mothers-to-be can reap optimum benefits from practising meditation, in the book I have selected some of the loveliest and most authentic practices. They are presented as a developing program for the motherhood stages from pre-pregnancy, throughout the trimesters and delivery itself to bonding with the precious one. * Meditation for Motherhood (Rockpool Publishing, $24.99) and Awakening (Rockpool Publishing, $29.99) can both be purchased from rockpoolpublishing.com.au.
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BIRTH
Be in on the act! UK author and childbirth educator Janet Balaskas describes the advantages of having an “active birth” – rather than an “actively managed birth”
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ctive birth is not new. It’s a way of describing the way in which women the world over have always behaved during labour and birth since time immemorial. It was only 300 years ago in 17th century France when forceps were first invented and that the idea of women lying down for birth first became common. This made it easier for events to be “managed” by the birth attendant and the baby to be “delivered”, a trend which continued for the following three centuries and which still haunts us today.
a natural birth. Hoping to manage without drugs, women were learning breathing and relaxation techniques, but were still being prepared to labour and give birth lying down or semi reclining, mostly in a medicalised environment. Despite this preparation, the majority of these women ended up with a cascade of interventions and complicated births. The whole atmosphere surrounding birth was one of fear and the expectation was that women needed help to have a baby.
MODERN OBSTETRICS
“ACTIVELY MANAGED BIRTH” OR “ACTIVE BIRTH”?
This was the start of modern obstetrics and led to the medical backup for birth that we can be thankful for all over the developed world today. However, along the way, the birthing mother became disempowered. Birth, for the majority of women, became a medical event carried out in a clinical environment. Age-old wisdom and midwifery skills were lost and forgotten. By the late 19th century, most women became passive patients rather than active birth givers and the semi-reclining “stranded beetle” posture for giving birth to a baby became the norm. When I trained as an antenatal teacher in the late 1970s, the aim was to educate women for
Disappointed with these results, I decided to do some research into how women have given birth in other cultures and other environments. I very soon saw that cross-culturally, labouring and birthing women were standing, kneeling or squatting and were generally assisted by the presence of other women. It dawned on me simultaneously that the anatomy of the female pelvis is ideally designed for labour and birth in upright positions. I coined the phrase “active birth” in the early 1980s, when the first women I taught began to use upright positions. It was a deliberate play on the words “active management of labour”, which were used at the time to describe the >
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birth medical style of managing birth with such procedures as induction of labour, epidurals, electronic foetal monitoring etc. Today we have progressed a long way from these early beginnings. Active birth has become a generic term and we are moving closer to a better balance between nature and the benefits of science. There is growing understanding of birth physiology and a gradual transformation of the birthing environment, whether home, birth centre or hospital, to one which is more conducive to the natural processes of birth. In an active birth the mother herself is in control of her body. She moves and changes position freely – she is the birth giver. Whereas in an actively managed birth, all the power is taken from her, her body is controlled and she is a passive patient. An active birth is one where the first resort is the mother’s own instinctual and natural resources and the last resort is medical intervention. When they are needed, medical interventions can often be adapted to use in upright positions, so that even when a birth is difficult and needs obstetric support, the basic principles and benefits of birth physiology can often still be observed as much as possible. Obstetrics is there as backup to serve women when there are difficulties or complications. Change is slow and there is still a long way to go before active birth becomes a real option for all women, but amazing progress has been made in just over two decades, since the Active Birth Movement was founded in 1981.
TRUST YOUR BODY & GIVE BIRTH ACTIVELY If you would like to give birth actively, the first thing to learn is how your body is ideally designed to birth a baby and inherently knows what to do. Given the freedom and privacy in labour to follow your instincts, you’ll probably want to move your body and change positions to make yourself as comfortable as possible during the contractions and while resting in
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between them. At its most practical level, an active birth involves having the freedom to use upright positions such as standing, walking, kneeling or squatting. Simple props such as a beanbag, a mat on the floor, a chair, a low stool or a birth ball can help support you comfortably in these “gravity effective” positions. These days you may well find that your midwife will be encouraging you to use these props and may even provide them for you. This means that you are free to be led by your own powerful intuition, to move spontaneously
“In an active birth the mother herself is in control of her body. She moves and changes position freely” and guide your baby through the birth canal in the most effective way through your natural movements. When birth is active, you are encouraged to stay out of bed in labour. For example, you could try sitting upright on a chair leaning forward, kneeling on all fours on the mat or over the birth ball, or standing and walking. It is easy to move your body in response to the contractions by bending and swaying, circling your hips, or rocking forward and back. Alternatively you may want to settle into a comfortable position sitting or kneeling, propped up by lots of pillows, so that your partner or midwife can massage your back, shoulders or feet. When your body is relaxed and free to move, your breathing becomes deeper and more spontaneous. You are likely to release sound freely as you move, which will help you to express and release pain as it arises and cope more easily with the intensity of sensation during labour and while giving birth. The sounds and movements I have described are universal to birthing women. >
How can you benefit from an active birth?
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A SHORTER, MORE EFFICIENT LABOUR During labour your baby’s head moves slowly down deeper into the pelvic canal as it emerges from the dilating cervix. In these positions your pelvis is at the best possible angle for gravity to help the process. Many studies have shown that this is likely to make labour shorter and more efficient.
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LESS PAIN Being free to move and choose your own positions has other advantages too. It’s easier for your uterus to do its work, so the contractions tend to be less painful than if you were lying down. Freedom of movement, free expression of sound and the natural forward tilting of the uterus helps to modify the pain and are likely to reduce the need for medical pain relief.
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LESS RISK OF FOETAL DISTRESS There is also a better blood flow to the placenta when you are upright and breathing deeply, so that your baby receives plenty of oxygen and there is less of a risk of “foetal distress” developing. There is no compression of the internal blood vessels as there may be if you lie for an extended period on your back or in the semi-reclining position. Foetal distress is a common cause for a Caesarean or the use of forceps or ventouse to deliver the baby quickly. Blood flow to the placenta and the baby is optimal in upright positions.
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AN EASIER WAY TO PUSH In the second stage, when you are ready to give birth, choosing a kneeling, supported squatting or standing position will help you to use your energy in the best way while you’re pushing. It is much more effective and powerful to push with the help of gravity, and the rotation and descent of the baby’s head is easier.
There is no ideal position for giving birth. You may use several upright positions during this phase and can give birth in any one of them. When you are upright, the pelvic joints are unconstricted and this allows a degree of movement and expansion of the pelvic diameters. In the final stages, the back wall of the pelvis (sacrum and coccyx) is free to move back, increasing the diameters of the pelvic outlet to make plenty of space for your baby to come out.
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ENJOY COMFORTABLE SKIN-TO-SKIN & BREAST CONTACT After your baby is born and you are enjoying the pleasure of holding him or her in your arms for the first time, it’s a good idea to sit upright so that you can hold your baby skin to skin and position your baby well for the first contact with the breast. Then, while you are welcoming your baby and the first breastfeed begins, gravity will be helping your placenta to separate and your uterus to contract down efficiently to prevent excessive blood loss.
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PARTNERS CAN GET MORE INVOLVED In an active birth the partners are often actively involved in giving emotional and physical support. This active sharing of the experience can be fulfilling and memorable, and is a good start to a new relationship as parents and the start of your new family.
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MINIMAL TRAUMA An active birth usually results in minimal trauma for the baby during the birth process. Generally the baby is likely to be born in optimal condition, bonding after birth and the first breastfeeding are facilitated, and the mother generally feels good and recovers well from the birth, which makes caring for the newborn baby easier.
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birth
HORMONES IN AN ACTIVE BIRTH Two important elements in an active birth are the quiet presence of a supportive midwife and the right atmosphere in the labour room. The room needs to be comfortable, warm, calm and peaceful so that you have enough privacy and security to let yourself go, to be noisy if you need to, and to relax and rest in between the contractions without distractions. When the lights are turned down low or the curtains are drawn and it is quiet, your body produces high levels of the hormone oxytocin, which stimulates good, strong contractions. You also produce floods of hormones called endorphins, which are natural painkillers and relaxants. Combined with the benefits of being upright, these hormones help you to forget about everything else, to sink into labour and
“Experience has shown that it’s best to think of using water in mid labour, when you are about 5-6cm dilated” concentrate on the contractions. Once you can relax with it, labour usually progresses well, leading to an efficient second stage and a successful birth for all concerned. It’s important to understand that labour and birth are involuntary, in that the uterus contracts spontaneously, firstly to open the womb and then to give birth to the baby. All of this occurs without your conscious control. It’s not about doing anything and is more to do with relaxing and letting it happen. The entire birth process is stimulated by these hormones. They are produced by the “old brain” or hypothalamus. We have this in common with all other mammals, and like them we need to feel safe and protected in order to secrete the birth hormones effectively. These are the very same hormones that we produce when we make love, which is why the renowned French active birth pioneer Michel
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Odent calls them the “love hormones”. Think about the kind of environment you like to be in when you make love, or how mammals usually choose a warm, dark and secure place to give birth, and you can guess what kind of atmosphere you will need to encourage good secretion of these hormones during labour.
ACTIVE BIRTH – WITH WATER An important innovation in the ideal birthing environment for an active birth has been the introduction of water-birth pools. These are becoming much more widely available and many hospitals and birth centres have installed pools. They can also be rented for homebirths. In addition to gravity, water is one of nature’s elements and has enormous power to support your instinctive resources in labour. Experience has shown that it’s best to think of using water in mid labour, when you’re about 5-6cm dilated. Labour is usually very intense at this stage and you may well feel you need some help – this is the ideal time to enter the birth pool. After half an hour or so of being in the warm water you are likely to enter a very relaxed state where you can go to a deeper level inside yourself and let go to the power of the more active phase of labour. This is the time to trust in nature and surrender to the involuntary forces that are opening your body and bringing your baby to birth. The warm water on your skin will help to modify the pain, and the buoyancy relieves you of your body’s weight. This helps enormously to make you more comfortable in upright positions and to conserve your strength and energy. It’s much easier, for example, to move or to squat in water. Your partner can sit right beside the pool or even get in with you to massage and hold you. Once in the pool, you are unlikely to notice the world outside the rim of the pool or how much time has passed. It helps you to stop thinking and to be in your body. There is an increase in oxytocin secretion when you enter the water, >
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birth which peaks after about two hours, so you may find that contractions become stronger and you reach full dilation within a few hours. When you feel you are ready to push and give birth, you may want to leave the birth pool and have your feet firmly planted on the ground or decide to remain in the water for the second stage. Provided that there is good progress and no sign of any complication, birth in water can be easier for the mum and gentler for the baby.
ACTIVE BIRTH – AFTER THE BIRTH There is no denying that going through an active birth and experiencing the pain of labour is a huge challenge that will probably stretch you to your limits and beyond. In the peak of the experience, just before you are ready to give birth to your baby, you may feel despairing, as if relief will never come. Yet the nature of birth is that pain comes and goes. In between contractions there are intense moments of peace, bliss and even ecstasy. The moment you are holding your baby in your arms for the first time, you are likely to forget almost instantly the pain that you have been through. Instead, a feeling of enormous exhilaration may arise. I often think this must be something like the way a mountaineer may feel reaching the peak of Everest and seeing the view at the top for the first time. However you give birth, producing a baby is an achievement you can be proud of. While aiming for an active birth, it’s important not to forget that the baby is more important than the birth! While birth is very rarely easy and sometimes the challenge is to get through the experience with all the medical help you can get, having an active birth is an empowering and life-transforming experience for many women. Starting from the basic wisdom that it’s best to keep upright and with a few simple modifications to the environment, most women can have a much better experience of birth than they might otherwise have done.
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A VISION FOR THE FUTURE Active birth involves a true partnership between the woman and her midwives and doctors, which encourages her to be an active participant in her care rather than a passive patient. This sense of partnership empowers her to be actively responsible and involved in all aspects of her care, so that her birth is active whether she manages it all naturally, decides on an epidural or ends up having a Caesarean section. Midwives are the traditional guardians of natural active birth, and have the skills and intuition to enable the right emotional and physical environment for a physiological birth. Active birth involves a humanistic approach where the obstetricians need to hand over the reigns to midwives for normal births. It also
“The moment you are holding your baby in your arms for the first time, you are likely to forget almost instantly the pain you have been through to get there” involves encouraging more women to give birth at home and providing home-like birth centres in hospitals. My vision is that active birth will become a widely available option for all those women who choose it all over the world – whether they are giving birth at home, in a birth centre or at a hospital. I hope that millions more women can discover the joy of natural childbirth and that there will be a time when no-one knows it wasn’t always like that. * Janet Balaskas is the author of many books including the bestselling Active Birth: The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally (Thorsons, $17.87). You can find out more about her resources and work at activebirthcentre.com. For a range of informative pregnancy, birthing and baby articles head to bellybelly.com.au.
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NEWS
BABY&TODDLER Beware
of coin batteries
3 ways to treat a toddler’s cough
A cough brought on by a cold can be upsetting for little people and there’s not much you can do to make it go away. Once asthma and bronchiolitis have been ruled out, try these simple ideas to provide relief: Warm water with a little honey added for toddlers over 12 months. Raise the head of the bed slightly when they are sleeping. Give your child plenty of upright cuddles and sympathy. If the cough persists for more than a week or causes significant distress, breathing difficulty, pale or blue skin, or comes with a high fever, seek medical help.
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If a child swallows a coin-sized lithium battery (button batteries), it can quickly become a lifethreatening situation. Prevent this happening and know what to do with these tips from Kidsafe: • Identify the items that have coin-sized batteries in your home and keep them out of sight and out of reach of children. • Check the battery compartments of toys and other devices are secure. • Choose toys, key fobs, remote controls etc with screw-down battery compartments. • Old batteries are still dangerous so they need to be disposed of safely. • Store unused batteries in a locked cupboard out of sight and out of reach of children. • Purchase batteries in kid-proof packaging, such as Energizer. • If you believe your child may have swallowed a button battery or inserts one into their ear or nose, take them immediately to a hospital emergency department. • Warn other carers about the dangers of button batteries and young children.
When bubs go bump
Preschool teacher and occupational therapist Gloria Gallardo-Walker has written a book to reassure parents and littlies that bumps are all a part of growing up. Ka-Lunk! (Aly’s Books, $21) is a charming, rhyming tale that entertains toddlers and educates firsttime parents on their child’s development. It’s available from alysbooks.com.
INTRODUCING Introducing THE BUDU
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“Babies sleep more like drunk homeless men – they make loud random noises, startle easily, cry themselves to sleep, fart with abandon and end the night by pissing themselves.” Meagan Phillipson from And then I peed my pants… My misadventures in new motherhood mevach.com
what a gem!
Looking for a unique way to remember your child’s birth and your role as life-giver and nurturer? Consider having your placenta or breastmilk made into jewellery. Artist and midwife Amy McGlade turns fresh breastmilk or encapsulated placenta into “gems”, which are encased in resin then lovingly handcrafted into earrings and pendants. Find the mum-of-three at facebook.com/babybeehummingbirds.
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news | baby & toddler
Long hours in care must be good quality The last thing working parents want to hear is that recent findings have shown children who spend more than 21 hours per week in daycare perform worse at school. John Cherry, advocacy manager for Goodstart Early Learning, says the 2007 study simply reflects the quality of childcare at the time of the study. ‘The good news is that since 2007, Australian governments have been working together to raise the quality of childcare and early learning through the National Quality Framework (NQF),’ says Cherry. ‘For example, the NQF now requires
every educator in the centre to be qualified and at least one must be a teacher. What’s more, a recent report by Melbourne University, Vic, found attending preschool with a qualified teacher can add 20 to 30 points to a child’s numeracy, reading and writing tests three years later.’ Cherry goes on to say that while Australia has come a long way in recent years in improving the quality of early learning, more needs to be done to catch up with other developed nations, particularly in relation to making quality care accessible to more families.
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shopping
BABY&TODDLER
the best bounce Priced at $549, the Bounce Stroller and Bassinet Set in Royal Navy by Redsbaby is the ultimate in functionality. A smart all-inone stroller that’s designed with safety in mind, it also features a super lightweight frame (8.5kg), folds in one easy movement for compact storage and has 360-degree swivel wheels for manoeuvrability. Better still, it comes with a shopping basket, reversible seat liner and rain cover! Visit redsbaby.com.au.
basket case With handy handles and handwoven from durable, waterproof plastic strapping, Holy Tote’s awesome storage baskets are available in loads of colours and come in three sizes – small priced from $24.95, medium from $34.95 and large from $49.95. See holytote.com.au.
light as a feather Specialising in funky everyday wear for babies and children, Baobab is a muchloved fashion label. This Red Feather Baby Dress, $41.95, comes in sizes 0 to 1 and is made from a 100 percent organic cotton knit fabric with raglan sleeves. Find yours and more of the collection at baobab.com.au.
baby boy doll This Gotz Aquini Boy Bath Baby by Goetz retails for $34.88. Designed for water play with a beautifully sculptured vinyl face, it’s a perfect introduction to the world of dolls for littlies. What’s more, he comes with a potty, towel and bottle, and his body can be squeezed to give the effect of going to the toilet! Visit axistoys.com.
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fantastic fox An original work by artist and film animator Adam Murphy, the Burton the Brave Flying Print is $39.95 from Welly’s Wonders. Check out the other eight designs at wellyswonders.com.au.
roar for a romper Fox & Finch Baby’s Britannique Romper, $39, is made from a 100 percent cotton knit and is available in sizes newborn to 9M. Be sure to check out more of the Fox & Finch range at minihaha.com.au.
LITTLE LUXURY Mockingbird Street’s 300 thread count luxury quilt, $79.95, is fairtrade certified and made from organic cotton. Featuring the Village and Ticking Stripe pattern, find it at mockingbirdstreet.com.
fair lady Eternal Creation’s fairtrade fashion includes these sweet Starburst Corduroy Overalls, $49 in sizes 3M to 36M. Match with the hat, $24, for the cutest little outfit. Go to eternalcreation.com.
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shopping | baby & toddler
bubbles for bub
see the light
Who doesn’t love a good bath? Make bath time fun for your bub with Johnson’s new Baby Bubble Bath & Wash, $8.59 for 444ml. It combines a hypoallergenic baby wash with big, bubbly fun. Plus it’s gentle enough to use every day. Suitable for babies as young as six months, find out more information at johnsonsbaby.com.au.
Priced at $79.95, this clever night light lantern is ideal for toilet-training. The soft light turns on when lifted from the bed so your child can walk with it to the bathroom. Complete with soothing lullaby music and two levels of brightness, for stockists head over to rogerarmstrong.com.au.
creature comfort
wash away
Handmade in Central Portugal, Flora Garden Cuddle Creature plush toys, $130, are made from 100 percent cotton and are ideal as a cuddle companion. See the full range of pretty things from Portugal at iberica.com.au.
Made with natural ingredients, Baby U’s Goat Milk Body Wash has been enriched with oatmeal extract to increase it’s antiirritant properties. It is free from harsh chemicals and can help reduce skin inflammations, soothe dry and damaged skin, and assist with eczema. Priced at $8.99 for a 250ml bottle, visit babyu.com.au.
on the go
time for a cuppa?
Paul & Stella’s new nappy bag, $199.95, is super stylish with it’s EVAcoated cotton exterior, leather handle and nylon lining. It also comes with a wet bag and baby changing mat. Read more at paulandstella. com.au.
Parents, here’s one for you! Get your caffeine hit on the go with this Cheeki stainless-steel coffee cup, $17.95. It’s even safe to use when you’re with your baby as it has double-wall insulation and a unique non-spill lid! Head to cheeki.net.au to buy it!
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HIGH CHAIR OXO’s Sprout Chair grows with your tot from 6 months to 5 years
grow with me This cute Tree Friends growth chart by Petit Collage, $20, makes a wonderful keepsake. It’s easy to track your young one’s milestones on the sturdy, printed illustrations, up to 122cm tall. It even comes with 23 leaf stickers to write notes on, and it folds down compactly for storage. Made from recycled paper and printed with vegetable ink, pick one up from petitcollage.com.
Solutions for feeding babies and big kids For information on the product range visit oxotot.com and for stockists go to rogerarmstrong.com.au
set to slumber Ergopouch’s Bamboo Kid’s Pyjamas, $39.95, are made from bamboo fleece so they are ubersoft and comfy, and the bottoms feature an adorable animal flap on the back. Get a set for your littlie at ergopouch.com.au.
FEEDING PRODUCTS OXO’s line of Feeding Products are designed to help your little ones transition from baby to big kid...at least in the kitchen july 2014 | mychild
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BABY
A-Z of baby care There’s a lot to learn about looking after your new baby. here midwife and author Lois Wattis explains everything from kangaroo care to tummy time
S
o you’ve just arrived home from the hospital or birth centre with your new baby and can’t believe how blessed you are. However, this can also be a daunting time. You’re now on your own without the support of the midwives and lactation consultants. If you’re feeling overwhelmed read on…
A
TTACHMENT Babies are “hardwired” to
be close to their mums and to demonstrate their needs. They come into this world attached to their mothers until their placenta is born and separated from them. When a newborn baby is placed in his new “habitat” – on his mother’s chest – the profound attachment process ignites for both mother and baby. Returning baby to this natural skin-to-skin habitat frequently during the early weeks will assist the explosion of hormonal responses for both mother and baby. Baby’s closest carers can also connect with baby via eye contact, touch, smell and voice, establishing and confirming their unique attachment to one another.
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B
REASTFEEDING Breastfeeding is the
natural culmination of growing and giving birth to your new baby, and this extraordinary continuum has ensured both the survival and development of our species. Modern women may doubt their own capacity to completely nurture their child but scientific discoveries continue to confirm the wondrous properties and unique benefits of human breastmilk for newborns to toddlers and beyond. Babies know how to feed and they know when they need to feed, and they give clear signals to let their carers know their needs – these are called “feeding cues”. These cues or signals progressively intensify as baby’s need to be fed increases. Babies need to be fed frequently day and night to sustain their rapidly changing bodies and brains. In the early hours and days of life babies do best if they are cuddled with mum in skin-to-skin contact, which enhances the baby’s instinctive responses and the mother’s breastfeeding skill development. Beginning >
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baby breastfeeds with a breast crawl “switches on” baby’s instinctive feeding reflexes, and mum can help baby to attach to the breast however she finds works best for her baby and her own comfortable breastfeeding experience.
C
IRCUMCISION Circumcision of baby
boys is discouraged by health professionals around the world. Complications after infant circumcision surgery can be very serious and even fatal. If circumcision is performed on a baby boy it is essential to follow the medical advice provided about surgical dressings and
“Babies need to be fed frequently day and night to sustain their rapidly changing bodies and brains” cleansing of the wound until it is completely healed. Babies should be given regular oral pain-relief medication for at least a week and if any signs of infection appear medical care must be sought immediately.
D
EVELOPMENT At each well-baby check-
up baby’s head circumference, height and weight will be measured and then recorded on a growth chart. Baby’s developmental milestones will also be observed and explained. Your baby’s developmental milestones may be unevenly achieved. In fact, consistently moving through a progressive sequence is more important than the actual age baby achieves a new developmental skill. Babies grow differently to one another and there is a wide variation in normal growth and developmental patterns. Charts may imply smooth steady progression but most babies grow in “spurts” with bursts and pauses in their development. In addition, breastfed and bottle-fed babies show different growth patterns. It is important that this is taken into account when assessing your baby’s overall development.
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E
XPRESSING Most mothers will express
their breastmilk for their baby at some time and it is common for mums-to-be to have a breast pump on their baby shower wish list. While breastmilk expression most often occurs after baby is born, in certain circumstances such as when a mother has diabetes, hand expression and collection of colostrum before baby is born may also be recommended. Early lactation is driven by the hormonal changes after the birth rather than “supply and demand”. Supply and demand (or actually it is the other way around – baby demands and supply increases) dominates the lactation process from a few weeks after the birth and is regulated in response to baby’s changing needs as he grows. It should also be understood that it is not only the breastmilk volumes that change as baby grows, but also the constituents of the breastmilk produced, which constantly change as the baby matures. The constituents also vary according to the time of day it is expressed and whether it is before or after a breastfeed.
F
EEDING Breastmilk is the optimal food
for babies. Skin-to-skin contact with baby laid on mother’s bare chest prompts baby to instinctively search for the breast. Baby begins by lifting his head, bobbing and stroking his face and cheeks on her skin, and with upper body movements and perhaps crawling motions of his legs and feet, he begins wriggling towards a breast. The mother instinctively gives baby gentle support of his body, and when his chin comes in contact with the breast tissue under the nipple, he will gape his mouth widely with his tongue down and forward, and “launch and latch” to the breast. This is an inborn ability that all well newborns can demonstrate when given the opportunity and environment. It is important how a baby is held during bottle-feeding. Breastfed babies spend lots of time in close contact with their mums, allowing time for them to gaze at one another, enhancing
bonding. Bottle-fed babies can miss out on this physical and eye-contact time, particularly as a bottle-feed is usually completed in a shorter time than a full breastfeed. Holding a bottlefed baby in a similar position to breastfeeding allows your baby to relax and enjoy physical communication with his mother during feeds.
bloody discharge from the baby girl’s vagina can be quite profuse and continue for several weeks. This is normal and is not harmful. Baby girls sometimes have little skin tags, which protrude from their labia or vagina. These don’t usually cause problems and gradually shrink and recede out of view as the baby grows.
G
H
IRLS It is important to always cleanse
a baby girl’s bottom in a stroking motion from front to back. An upward motion from back to front could transfer the poo from the rectum to the vagina and urethra, and cause bacterial contamination and potential infection of those delicate areas. A front to back action will ensure this can’t happen. Newborn baby girls often have a mucousy discharge from the vagina, which may also be blood stained. Although this may be disturbing to the parents it is a normal occurrence due to hormonal changes occurring in the baby girl’s body after birth. Sometimes the mucous or
UNGER Well newborns are naturally
inclined to breastfeed immediately after birth. Hunger or feeding cues include turning the head with an open mouth, licking the lips and protruding the tongue, and movements with tense arms and clenched hands. Baby places the hands towards the mouth, sucking the fists or fingers. Restlessness and fussing leads to crying if there is not a prompt response to the earlier hunger cues or signs. If baby is crying he needs to be calmed down before he can feed effectively. Baby will feed frequently in the early days of life. Baby may be satisfied easily in the first day >
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baby that the milk arrives with one session or phase per feed. Over the next day or so this will alter and baby will begin to seek a second or third phase to most breastfeeds until he is satisfied. Giving supplementary feeds during this time
“Parents need to be aware of the importance of your baby taking frequent and effective feeds if he is jaundiced” will interfere with establishment of the mum’s milk supply so avoid giving any unnecessary formula feeds. Effective drainage of the breasts will encourage your supply to meet the baby’s growing needs.
I
NTOLERANCES Food sensitivity is a broad
term covering intolerances and allergies, which usually manifest as stomach or bowel upsets in your baby. Intolerances can occur in
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response to infant formula and less commonly in exclusively breastfed babies. One of the most common foods that causes intolerances is cow’s milk protein. Breastfed babies may also show signs of intolerance to certain foods eaten by their mums. It is important to obtain a diagnosis from a specialised medical practitioner if food intolerances are suspected in both breastfed and formula-fed babies.
J
AUNDICE Most newborn babies have
some jaundice (yellowish skin) temporarily, from day two to day seven of their life. This is called physiological jaundice and happens as a result of baby’s natural adjustment to life outside of the womb as excess red blood cells break down, resulting in a release of bilirubin molecules. If the condition is mild and baby continues to wake up for feeds every few hours, and does plenty of wee and poo to excrete the bilirubin molecules, jaundice does not cause problems for baby.
If the baby becomes very sleepy he should be woken for feeds if he does not self-waken, and he may need stimulation and prompting to continue feeding properly after latching. Parents need to be aware of the importance of baby taking frequent and effective feeds if he is jaundiced. If baby is very jaundiced blood tests need to be done to determine the bilirubin levels and if they are high, phototherapy (light) treatment must be commenced without delay, as jaundice in its advanced form can be lifethreatening to baby.
K
ANGAROO CARE Kangaroo Mother Care
(KMC) is regarded as the optimal method of care for premature babies, however term newborns benefit greatly from KMC too. KMC has three parts, commencing with skin-to-skin contact between baby’s front and the mother’s chest; the more skin-to-skin contact the better. For comfort, a small nappy on baby is fine and
“It is not only the breastmilk volumes that change as baby grows, but also the constituents of the breastmilk produced, which constantly change as the baby matures” a cap may be used for warmth. Skin-to-skin contact is commenced at birth but is beneficial at any time. Ideally the skin-to-skin contact is continuous – both night and day – but shorter periods are also helpful. Exclusive and unlimited breastfeeding is the second component of KMC, allowing baby direct access to suckling. For premature babies expressing breastmilk and additional nutrients may be needed. The third component of KMC encompasses support of the mother and baby to avoid separating them. Medical, emotional, psychological and physical support in addition to modern equipment is provided to enhance the wellbeing of mother and baby.
L
ATCH Obtaining a comfortable latch
for both mother and baby is the key to successful breastfeeding. A technique which works well starts with baby positioned on an angle with his hip towards the mother’s hip and held securely over his shoulders, not his head. Mother snuggles baby close so his chin touches the breast below the areola. It is the chin being in firm contact with the breast, not just nearby, that triggers baby’s reflex to gape widely and to “launch and latch”. When baby’s head is tilted back so his chin contacts the breast, the mother shapes her areola and nipple, poised waiting for baby to gape his mouth open wide with his tongue down and forward. As baby gapes she hugs baby closer to her breast, folding the areola and nipple into baby’s mouth, and keeps that position momentarily as baby draws the breast tissue and nipple into his mouth and begins sucking. When the mother feels he has established the latch, she can gently take her hand away from the breast, and rest her arm under baby’s back or shoulders for comfort.
M
ASSAGE Just about everyone enjoys
massage! For babies massage enhances development, and relaxation and readiness for sleep. Massage also stimulates the release of endorphins – the feel-good hormones – and lowers levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Loving touch has profound effects on both of the participants, and studies have shown a positive effect for reducing postnatal depression symptoms in mothers and enhancing fatherbaby bonding when dad massages baby. Baby massage therapists can guide parents with techniques but it is not necessary to follow a specific method to enjoy the many benefits that baby massage offers.
N
AILS The easiest time to cut your baby’s
fingernails is after a bath, when she is asleep. You can use baby nail clippers, but the method I prefer is to use little nail scissors >
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baby with rounded ends for baby. You make a tiny snip at the corner of the long fingernail, then peel it off. This method does not leave any sharp corners on the nails. You can also use a fine emery board very gently on baby’s nails if you wish. Some parents prefer to bite their baby’s fingernails instead of cutting them.
O
VERTIRED Just as babies signal to their
parents that they are hungry by showing “feeding cues”, they also show “tired signs” when they need to sleep. Parents quickly learn to recognise and respond to their baby’s early “tired signs” to avoid him becoming overtired. An overtired baby may find it very hard to go to sleep even though it’s what he really needs. A newborn baby will become tired when they have been awake for an hour or more – including his feeding time. Their arm and leg movements become jerky, and they may yawn, frown, fuss and look away from stimulating toys or faces. Their hands may be in fists, their arms tense, and they may arch backwards when being held. Fussing turns to crying and when very overtired, they may “lose the plot” and it can be difficult to calm an overtired crying baby. Responding to baby’s early tired signs by preparing baby for comfort and sleep will avoid baby becoming overtired.
P
OOS Copious amounts of sticky black
meconium are passed by the newborn in their first day or two. Then the colour begins to change to brownish “transitional stools” and when baby is digesting milk, the poo changes to a mustardy yellow with a soft and runny consistency in breastfed babies, and a more formed light-brown poo in formula-fed bubs. Your baby’s wees and poos are a good guide to how the baby’s feeding is going. The expected output of a well baby from day three to four is six to eight nappies per day, and three or more of these should be poos. If a breastfed baby is producing two or less poos in each 24 hours from day three onwards, this is the first sign
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that the volume of breastmilk being transferred to baby is insufficient. Seek advice from a child health nurse, lactation consultant or doctor.
Q
UIET ALERT & ACTIVE ALERT Your
baby is in a quiet alert state when she is attentive and absorbed in whoever or whatever is within her view. She may respond with facial movements and cooing sounds. The quiet alert state is ideal for interacting with your baby with facial expressions, words and song and waiting for his responses. When baby is in an active alert state she will be clearly aware of movement and sound around her, turning her head to look at toys or other stimuli. She may respond with body movements and vocal sounds, and engage in play with toys or pictures, especially faces. If and when she has had enough she will begin to fuss, and be more sensitive to noises. She is letting you know she is ready for a change of pace, and it is sensible to back off with the games and stimulation, removing her to a quieter environment if necessary.
R
ELATIONSHIPS Babies are born into all
types of relationships and it is inevitable they will be changed by baby’s arrival. Couples are often overwhelmed by the responsibilities of caring for a baby and can forget to care for one another in the same way they did before baby became the centre of attention. At the same time, the intense feelings of love experienced by new parents can create a new and different level of connection. Less time for sleep and conversation can challenge even the best relationships, and it is wise to discuss feelings openly both before and after baby arrives, and seek professional help if difficulties arise.
S
WADDLING Most newborns enjoy being
wrapped securely (called swaddling) to settle to sleep. Babies have a natural startle reflex, which occurs periodically when they >
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‘‘Do babies always have tummy pains after their bottle?’’ If babies drink too quickly, they may swallow a lot of air – this can cause tummy pains. This is why the NUK First Choice Teat has a new vent which ensures a natural and regular flow of food from the bottle, which helps prevent colic.
‘‘What lies behind the shape of the NUK Teat?’’ Research shows that a mother’s nipple changes shape as she breastfeeds, adapting optimally to the baby’s mouth. The NUK Team of orthodontists and medical experts have replicated the natural shape of a mother’s nipple whilst breastfeeding and developed the NUK Orthodontic Shape for our soothers and teats, which plays a vital role in baby’s oral development. So babies will hardly notice any difference between the breast and the bottle.
‘‘Is breastfeeding the best for babies?’’ Yes, definitely. But if there is a time when it is not possible, NUK First Choice Teats are a good alternative. They are readily accepted by babies who are both bottle and breastfed and allow you to alternate between both breast and bottle without any problems as proven in our independent clinical research. *
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baby are sleeping. This reflex is believed to protect baby from sleeping so deeply they forget to breath, but it can also disturb and waken baby before she has had sufficient sleep. Swaddling baby firmly around the shoulders and less firmly around the hips and legs can help baby to settle and sleep well. Baby can be swaddled using flannelette bunny rugs or lightweight muslin wraps. These are made of a light, open-weave cotton so they “breathe”, ensuring baby does not get overheated. It’s handy to have a couple of the larger sized muslin wraps as well because baby may still enjoy swaddling to settle as she grows bigger. Ready-made swaddle suits and wraps are another easy option; some close with velcro and others have zips. Make sure the fabric is soft, closures are comfy and easy to undo, and the suit is not too small for your baby. Baby should not be swaddled or wrapped when in a baby car seat or capsule.
This area should be gently cleansed with plain water and a cotton ball or cotton tip at each nappy change. Keeping this area clean and dry will assist it to heal. It is not necessary or recommended to apply any other products (such as methylated spirits, antiseptic creams or powders, or Betadine solution) to the stump for cleansing or for healing. These products will, in fact, slow separation and healing of the umbilical stump. If the area becomes red have it checked by your midwife or child health nurse. The stump will naturally become a bit smelly as it dries up and becomes ready to fall off. When the stump has separated, cleanse the umbilicus base with water and a cotton ball at each nappy change and it should heal within a few days.
V
OMITING Babies will often bring up a
tummy time on a rug on the floor every day, although younger babies will do a lot of “face planting” during these closely supervised times and an adult will need to move your bub when she’s had enough of that position. Baby can then be turned over onto their back for a change of scenery. Play mats with pictures and textured fabrics to explore on the base, and an arch that can hold a couple of toys or objects suspended overhead, will provide all the extra entertainment a young baby needs during the early months of play time.
little of the milk (called posseting) when they bring up a burp. The official name for this is gastro-oesophageal reflux or GOR, which is a common and benign (nothing to worry about) condition caused by the immature sphincter muscle at the top of baby’s stomach, which does not close very firmly, and when some wind comes up a bit of milk comes too. Provided a newborn baby is gaining weight and does normal amounts of wee and poo (a minimum of two poo nappies each 24 hours and five wet nappies) GOR is not a problem except for the extra washing it may create. It is never normal for a baby to vomit bile. If this happens your baby should be seen by a doctor as soon as possible.
U
W
T
UMMY TIME Baby should have some
MBILICAL CARE Nappy time is the ideal
time to also care for baby’s umbilical cord stump. Your baby may still have the cord clamp in place when he is discharged home from the hospital. Ensure the clamp is always positioned outside the nappy. This will be more comfy for baby and also assist the umbilical cord to dry out, which is necessary to enable it to fall off and for the umbilical base to heal.
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IPES These are handy to use when
water is not available to cleanse baby’s bottom, however using them for every nappy change can mean baby’s skin is frequently exposed to chemicals of some type, even though claims of “gentle and organic” appear reassuring. There are a few health concerns associated with commercial nappy wipes, all of which contain chemicals and can lead to >
Choose an
Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper® for you and your baby
Sleep better, Sleep closer, Sleep safer
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The Benefits of a Co-Sleeper:
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• You can feed and comfort your baby without getting out of bed, allowing everyone a better night sleep
• Endorsed by world renowned paediatrician Dr William Sears and baby sleep specialist Dr James McKenna
• Securely attaches to the side of the parental bed and converts to a freestanding bassinet
• Only range of bedside sleepers available in Australia to meet ASTM Bedside Sleeper Safety Standard (F2906)
• The close proximity promotes parentinfant bonding
• The Mini is lightweight, portable and requires no assembly
• Great for mums that have had a C-section
Now available at Toys R Us and www.justfor.com.au
Pure Tots
Beautiful handmade crochet toys, clothes & accessories
Designed for newborns to 12 years, with a focus on using 100% organic fair-trade cotton, Pure Tots offers beautiful handmade, eco-friendly crochet toys, accessories and clothes – all created in Western Australia. Our range brings you old-world charm with a modern twist.
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baby skin irritations on babies’ and parents’ skin. A new product has recently been released here called WaterWipes, which are guaranteed to only contain water and no chemicals.
baby is sleeping, go to bed early at night and nap whenever you can. Baby’s sleep patterns will gradually align with your own as he grows, and the crazy tiredness does pass eventually.
X
Z
-RATED Sex and intimacy can seem like
a thing of the past when a new baby takes centre stage. Hormonal changes and recovery from the birth naturally put sex on the backburner for a time, but most couples work out when they both feel ready to resume sexual relationships. Differences in levels of sexual desire require honest discussion between couples, and patience, cuddling and tenderness without actually having sex goes a long way towards reuniting on a physical level. Many women find breastfeeding is a very sensual and sexual experience and surprise themselves that their libido actually increases. This is because the hormone oxytocin has a central role in breastfeeding and also stimulates sexual arousal. An Australian study found that about 40 percent of first-time mums had sexual intercourse within six weeks of giving birth, and 80 percent had resumed by 12 weeks. Breastfeeding mothers often find milk leaks from the breasts during sex so feeding baby or expressing before having sex may be helpful. If vaginal dryness is a problem using a lubricant can make sex more comfortable.
Y
OURSELF It is natural for parents to
become totally absorbed with caring for their baby but caring for yourselves is essential too. This is a time of transition and requires nurture of the whole family unit. Be prepared to accept offers of practical assistance such as meals, housework and shopping. You do not have to be superwoman to be a great mum and partner. Eating healthy food, getting as much rest as you can, and getting active and outdoors will all help to restore your energy and enthusiasm for life, which will enhance your mothering experience. The way to get over the inevitable sleep deprivation is to sleep when
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ZZZ Expectations regarding your baby’s
sleep can be the source of great anxiety for parents if they believe their baby is not sleeping “well” or “enough”. Understanding how variable baby’s sleep patterns are from baby to baby, and from week to week according to individual feeding, growth and developmental stages, can relieve parents’ concerns, and free them to “go with the flow” of their baby’s needs. Parents will learn how to interpret their baby’s needs by closely observing baby’s facial expressions and movements. Baby’s sleep states transition between active sleep and quiet sleep. Drowsiness upon waking transitions to the
“Many women find breastfeeding is a very sensual and sexual experience” quiet alert state often combined with feeding cues – the perfect time to feed baby. Young babies often move from state to state quickly so parents who respond to baby’s changing cues swiftly encounter fewer feeding and sleep problems. Babies arouse frequently between sleep states, which is believed to be part of their in-built survival mechanism, which may protect them from SIDS. Baby’s sleep patterns alter as they progress through developmental changes and growth spurts, so it is a sign of normal growth for baby to go through periods of sleeping well and of being less settled. * Lois Wattis is a registered midwife, International Board-certified Lactation Consultant and author of the newly released New Baby 101, a free app that includes videos on swaddling and changing your baby. Topics can be unlocked for 99c each or all 50 frequently asked questions for $6.99. The New Baby 101 e-book is $19. See newbaby101.com.au.
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BABY
Close to one’s heart according to the experts, keeping your baby close to you during the first six to 12 months aids with both bonding and breastfeeding. Hannah Saunders reports
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ou’re pregnant! These words change your world like no others before or after. In that instant you become responsible for more than just yourself. For many of us it is the first time we have someone else to take care of, someone else who will depend on us, someone else who will depend on our love. It’s exciting, wondrous, and for many of us… daunting. Then the questions start: How
“There is without doubt a universal need of every child to feel loved and nurtured by their parents…”
BONDING So how do we develop that bond of trust with our newborns? According to experts in infant sleep and attachment such as Dr William Sears, almost all of the ways to develop this bond involves the parents and their newborn being in close physical contact with one another. This can start from those special moments immediately after the birth, by having your precious new baby placed on your chest for their very first, intimate moments of skin-toskin contact. Your little one feels your skin and your heartbeat and you get to feel their tiny body on yours. The bonding begins!
CLOSE PROXIMITY do I do this? Will I be a good mum? What is a good mum? These are just the first questions and as time goes by we all develop our own answers. However, there is without doubt a universal need of every child to feel loved and nurtured by their parents, to feel connected to them and to develop a bond of trust.
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A newborn baby sleeps up to 16 hours a day (although some days it feels like much less!). To develop and enhance the trust and bonding experience, experts recommend that you and your baby sleep within a close distance to each other. This closeness encourages all of those beautiful mothering feelings that come with >
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baby being able to touch and talk to your baby, and simply look into their eyes. The great news is that this close proximity is ideal for your baby in so many ways. Being able to touch your new baby is therapeutic for them as the stroke of a parent’s hand stimulates them to breathe more rhythmically. The close proximity also lets your baby get a good look at you. A newborn can only see 25cm away and by being so close to them they get to see who it is that cares for them, and simply gazing at them is a beautiful way to build their trust. So how do we keep this close proximity, which is integral to developing the trust between you
“Being able to touch your baby is therapeutic for them as the stroke of a parent’s hand stimulates them to breathe more rhythmically” and your newborn, while keeping them in a safe sleeping space? SIDS and Kids and other similar organisations recommend against bed sharing with your baby. A great option to keep your baby close and safe is by using a bedside sleeper such as the Arm’s Reach Co-sleeper. They attach to the side of your bed (like a sidecar) and allow you to touch, see and talk to your baby while they are safely in their own sleeping space. This gives you the best of both worlds – close proximity and safety. Using one will also help to maximise breastfeeding as you can simply pull your baby from their bedside sleeper to feed them and then place them back into it without having to get out of bed.
BREASTFEEDING Several studies have demonstrated that babies who sleep in close proximity to their mothers have better outcomes relating to successful initiation and duration of breastfeeding. Breastmilk contains all of the nutrients an
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infant requires for the first six months of life. It also helps a baby’s resistance against allergy and disease. Both the Australian Breastfeeding Association and SIDS and Kids recommend breastfeeding an infant where possible and this is made easier when the mother and infant sleep in close proximity.
SAFETY From a safety point of view, studies suggest that if the parent and infant are sleeping in close proximity and exchanging sensory stimuli (including touch, smell, breathing sounds and vocalisations) that the infant’s chance of dying from SIDS reduces by between 33 and 50 percent. This is why SIDS and Kids recommend that you and your baby sleep in the same room for the first six to 12 months. So being in close proximity to your baby from the very first moments helps to develop the trust between you and your baby. This also makes breastfeeding easier and is safer for your baby. * Head to justfor.com.au for information about the Arm’s Reach Co-sleeper range.
sleeping guidelines To keep your baby safe from SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) it is essential that you follow these guidelines: • sleep your baby on their back from birth; not on the tummy or side • sleep baby with head and face uncovered • keep your baby smoke free before birth and after • provide a safe sleeping environment both night and day • for the first six to 12 months sleep your baby in their own safe sleeping place in the same room as an adult caregiver • breastfeed baby. For further information head to the SIDS and Kids website at sidsandkids.org.
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BABY
The bare necessities In this lighthearted piece, Bunny Banyai and Madeleine Hamilton give you their perspective on the realities of crying, sleeping, pacifiers and soothing
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e’ve all read the parenting manuals that discuss what an enlightening experience it is to raise a baby, but where is the material that discusses the filth, fury and mad love of parenting? Here we offer parents an honest, judgement-free guide to a few of the basics.
CRYING Stuff the baby whisperers. All crying babies sound the same – with minor variations in volume and frequency. If you can determine the difference between a “tired” cry, a “wind” cry or a “hungry” cry, then you should be employed by the Bureau of Meteorology to sit atop a mountain and predict catastrophic weather events. A new parent can quite understandably decide the whole crying lark is nonsense and try to find a solution. Be warned: this is the Road to Madness. Because in every pharmacy,
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every bookshop, every health-food store, every internet forum, you will find six million wildly conflicting theories on How to Stop the Crying. It is possible, of course, that the first thing you try will actually work. Or you may discover something that works only after the 5,999,999 other options have been tried and failed. Much money and precious time can be sapped in this pursuit when what’s really required is both a stiff drink and upper lip. The crying phase passes before you know it. In rare instances it’s unbearable and prolonged and medical advice should be sought, but the majority of bubs do just cry, and it’s not because they have a compacted bowel or silent reflux or deep psychic pain. Don’t take it as any kind of great personal failing on your part or baby’s if he screams for a few hours every night. Partake in whatever personal indulgence you need to get through it, and don’t be fooled by those at your parents’ >
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baby group who say their baby doesn’t cry. If you fess up to having an infant who does indeed cry, you’ll find a bunch of grateful, hollow-eyed zombies sidling up to you and conceding that, ‘Actually, bub has been rather difficult.’
SLEEP The number of hours per night that their baby sleeps brings out a strangely competitive streak in some parents. On one side you have those who boast that from day one their sweetie has woken but once a night. The flipside is those who compete to be the most poleaxed by sleep deprivation: ‘My baby woke every hour-and-ahalf last night.’ ‘Oh, is that right? You’re lucky. I’d be fine with that. My baby woke every halfhour.’ ‘Well, my baby woke every 15 minutes.’ It’s advisable, when listening to these stories, to remember that your fellow new parents are just as out of their gourds as you are. If baby doesn’t sleep through at an early age, don’t feel pressured to implement the routines espoused by the army of baby-sleep gurus. They will assure you at length that your infant knows how to sleep through the night, and that it’s your meddling ways that have stuffed up her programming. If you just stick to this particular routine with absolutely no variations your 10day-old will sleep through the night. This is bonkers. Your baby wakes up because her stomach is the size of an ant’s penis and she needs regular feeding. She’s also adjusting to living in a house constructed of bricks and mortar rather than from organs and fluid. Also, don’t forget that just about the only form of entertainment she can produce for herself is the trick of going to sleep and waking up. It’s little wonder she will play around with endless variations on the theme.
PACIFIERS Before you have a baby you may have highminded thoughts like, No child of mine will ever use a pacifier and People who give pacifiers to kids are clearly lazy or incompetent. But after a month
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of haplessly attempting to settle your fractious newborn you’ll likely be yelling at your partner, ‘Where’s the goddamn pacifier? Quick!’ After some initial trepidation, you will be happily reaching for the pacifier as an avenue of first resort – especially if it actually works. Maddeningly, some babies just don’t take to pacifiers, preferring to exercise their right to scream unplugged, but if yours accepts one, sucks contentedly until he falls asleep, then remains shut-eyed from dusk till dawn, you’ll be hastily revising your ideas about the ill effects of substitute nipples. Babies like to suck. A lot. They’re like tiny human pool filters.
SOOTHING If you’re one of the many mad cat people of this world then you’ll know that when your feline is unsettled you put her on your chest, stroke her head and say nice things about her fangs. You may not see any reason why this approach wouldn’t work with a baby too. And, yes, you’re absolutely right! Soothing pets and babies really isn’t so different. Cats can wail at a frequency that is just as earshattering as any newborn’s. They can keep it up all night, just like a newborn. And often there’s no telling precisely what it is that has disturbed their delicate equilibrium. Just. Like. A. Newborn. So, if you’re thinking you might actually be quite well equipped for parenthood because you have been the proud but tired owner of a particularly precious pet, you’re probably not too far off the mark. But you’re well advised to keep these thoughts under your hat. “Ridicule the Deluded Expectant Parent Who Thinks They’re Prepared” is a game many old-timers like to play (‘nothing can prepare you’ they trill, voices dripping with an odd mix of saccharin and bleach). * This is an edited extract from Sh*t on my Hands by Bunny Banyai and Madeleine Hamilton (Hardie Grant, $19.95).
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BABY
Express yourself Do you need to express breastmilk for your new baby? here The experts from the Australian Breastfeeding Association explain everything you need to know about using an electric pump
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his information aims to help you to use your electric breast pump well so that you can provide your breastmilk for your baby. An electric breast pump is not the same as the sucking action of a baby. If your baby is feeding well, he will be better at getting all the milk from your breasts. Because of this, expressing breastmilk may take a little longer than breastfeeding your baby. There are many reasons why mums express breastmilk for their babies: • you may work or study outside the home where you cannot be near your baby • your baby may not be able to suck, due to prematurity or other problems with sucking • your baby may be in hospital and you cannot be there for every feed • you may need to go to hospital and you may
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not be able to take your baby with you • you might be using a pump to increase your milk supply, relactate or induce lactation. Your breastmilk is a unique gift only you can give to your baby. It is the normal food for your growing baby. Breastfeeding also protects babies from illness and infection. Even a small amount of it provides important nutrition and health protection for your baby.
HOW OFTEN SHOULD YOU EXPRESS? If you are expressing for a newborn baby, try to express often, between eight to 10 times in a 24-hour period. Hand expressing is usually easier until your milk comes in (usually a few days after your baby is born). At first you will get a small amount of milk. This is normal, as your newborn baby has a >
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baby stomach that only holds a small amount (about a spoonful) of milk. Premature babies need even less. The more milk you take out of your breasts, the more milk you will make. You may find it easier to express for shorter periods at first but more frequently. In fact, the number of times you express during the day is more important than the length of time spent expressing. Many mothers find a routine of expressing every two to three hours during the day, with a session just before going to bed, works for them. Others find they need to learn their own routine. Milk supply and response to expressing vary between each mother, so you may have to try different timing to find a pattern that suits you. Each session may be up to 20 to 30 minutes, or until milk no longer flows out but just drips. Some mums set an alarm to express at night, however others find this too tiring. Do what your body tells you is best for you.
HOW BREASTMILK IS MADE An important factor in making breastmilk and being able to express it is the let-down reflex. This causes the milk to be released from the milk glands. When your baby sucks at your breast, nerves send a message to your brain, which causes the hormone oxytocin to be released. The let-down reflex occurs when this hormone causes the cells around the milk glands to tighten and squeeze the milk out. It is possible to start this reflex without a baby sucking, but it can be slowed by pain, tension or stress. When expressing, you can help the let-down reflex work by: • relaxing (especially your shoulder and chest muscles) and taking deep breaths • listening to quiet music • thinking about your baby, a photograph can sometimes help • placing a warm (not too hot) face washer over the breast • massaging your breast with smooth strokes from the chest to the nipple and drawing
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your nipple out gently between your fingers • sitting in a comfortable position • perhaps making sure the telephone is turned off or that the answering machine is set to take any calls • your toddler (if you have one) is safe and you have a warm or cool drink handy. As milk is removed from your breasts, more milk will be made. Your supply will depend on how often you express along with how well the breasts are drained. If you’ve been expressing every feed for your baby, then before you are fully breastfeeding you may need to adjust the number of times you express to equal the number of expressed milk feeds he is having. This will help to adjust your milk supply to meet your baby’s needs. Your baby may need to learn to milk the breast well, so take each feed as it comes. Many mothers find talking to a trained counsellor on the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA) Breastfeeding Helpline (call 1800 686 268) very helpful in providing support and information at this time.
USING THE BREAST PUMP Assembly Assemble the clean electric breast pump kit using the maker’s instructions. There will be written instructions with the kit. Let-down & positioning Set the pump to the lowest suction setting. Try to start your letdown by using some of the ideas listed on the left. When putting on the breast cup, make sure the nipple is in the centre and that the cup has good skin contact all around to stop air leaking in. If your nipple hurts when you start expressing with the pump, stop and check to make sure the nipple is centred in the breast cup and the suction is low. Start with short sessions For the first few times you may find it helps to keep the session short, then lengthen the session gradually. Some mums find it useful to change breasts several times during the session. If you use a double pump kit, the session will be shorter than >
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baby expressing with a single kit. Once you feel you are comfortable with using the pump, you can increase the suction setting. Make sure it’s still comfortable for you. Keep the kit upright while you are expressing to prevent milk from going into the tubing. If milk does go into the tubing, stop the pump and rinse the tubing with water. It is best not to use the breast pump when the tubing is wet,
“The colour of colostrum from different mothers can vary a lot so don’t be surprised if yours looks quite different to another mother’s. This is normal” especially in pumps where the tubing connects to the inside of the pump. It can draw moisture into the pump and cause damage. In pumps with a closed kit, slight dampness or moisture in the tubing shouldn’t be a problem. However, after expressing with wet tubing, take the kit apart to allow all parts to dry. Colostrum & milk supply In the first few days or so after the birth, you will make only small amounts of first milk, called colostrum. It is usually best to express this by hand. You will find that you will have a lot more milk a few days later, once the milk comes in. An electric breast pump is then very useful. The milk supply settles down within a few weeks to be the right amount to meet the baby’s needs. The mother of a premature baby makes slightly different milk to the mother of a fullterm baby, because her milk is more suited to her baby’s level of maturity. Be guided by your medical advisers for your baby’s feeding needs. You will be able to express more milk as you get used to expressing. Breastmilk colour While you still have some colostrum in your breasts, the milk will have a yellow colour and may look rather creamy. It will form layers on standing. The colour of colostrum from different mothers can vary a
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lot so don’t be surprised if yours looks quite different to another mother’s. This is normal. As your milk supply increases, the colour of the milk becomes more bluish-white. It still forms layers on standing, with the creamy layer at the top. Milk may look different at different times of the day and this also depends on how long it has been since you have expressed or fed your baby. The colour of the milk can vary widely and it can be quite normal for your milk to look very different from another mother’s; your milk is right for your baby. Decreasing milk supply Some mothers find that after expressing for many weeks their milk supply decreases. This is because a baby is better at getting the milk from the breast than a pump. When you are able to feed your baby at the breast, you will find that with frequent feeds, your supply will soon increase. If you are unable to feed your baby at the breast, expressing more often will help to increase your milk supply. After a week or so, you may be able to return to your previous expressing schedule. It can be helpful to finish off each session with a few minutes of hand expressing. This will help to empty your breasts and increase your milk supply. If your supply is decreasing despite your attempts to increase it, you may wish to contact your breastfeeding counsellor to try other ideas.
CLEANING INFORMATION Here are some important points about cleaning your equipment. Please note that cleaning well is important when using your pump kit and bottles. Note that you must clean your new kit before the first use. If your baby is in hospital or is ill, be guided about extra cleaning by your medical advisers. Care of your breast pump kit If you are the only person to use your breast pump kit, you are expressing several times a day and if your baby is healthy, breast pump kit parts should be cleaned as follows: • rinsed well in cold water after each use to
remove surface milk. Store in a clean, closed container or the kit can be stored unrinsed in a closed container in a fridge • cleaned well once a day when in frequent use or after each use if used only occasionally. How to clean well Follow these steps to ensure a thorough clean: • first wash your hands well, with soap, and dry them on new paper towel or a clean, unused cloth towel • take the breast pump kit apart and separate all the pieces. Rinse in cold water all the parts that have been in contact with your milk • take care to remove all traces of grease, milk and dirt with a small amount of dishwashing liquid and hot water – use a brush kept only for this purpose • rinse all parts in hot water, at least twice • drain bottles and containers upside-down on new paper towel and cover with more paper towel while they air dry. Finish drying it all with new paper towel before putting away • store the dry kit in a new plastic bag, plastic wrap, more paper towel or a clean, covered container until next use. *
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further information • The ABA has breastfeeding counsellors available on the Breastfeeding Helpline who are able to help mothers with any questions. Call 1800 686 268 any time! • Well worth reading on the ABA website at breastfeeding.asn.au are these booklets and articles: Breastfeeding: Expressing and Storing Breastmilk, Which pump is best for you?, Breastfeeding your Premature Baby, Increasing your Supply and Breastfeeding: Women and Work. • Pick up a copy of the ABA’s Breastfeeding… Naturally. This handy book comes free when you become an ABA member or non-members can purchase it for $34.93 from mothersdirect.com.au.
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BABY
Finding your feet It’s not uncommon for new mums to feel isolated. international board-certified lactation consultant and best-selling author Pinky McKay reveals her tips to overcoming loneliness ‘
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ave you tried talking about this in your mum’s group?’ I asked Sonya, a mum who was struggling with an unsettled baby, a partner who worked long hours and no family close by. It turned out Sonya felt very isolated, even though she lived in the city and was within walking distance of cafes and her child health centre. Sonya was anxious about admitting just how tough she was finding mothering right now because she believed all the other mums were so “together”. Sadly, this conspiracy of silence perpetuates the loneliness of new mothers because with everyone pretending they have it “all sorted” an impenetrable wall develops that keeps mothers from reaching out to each other and becoming allies. There can be many reasons for mummy isolation – and you don’t have to be a new mum to feel like “the only one”.
BEING SINGLE, BUT NOT SINGLE You don’t have to be separated or divorced to be parenting alone most of the time. Many partners travel for work, leaving you making all the big decisions and managing the day-to-
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day stuff of babies and small children without any relief for days at a time. As Jessica, a mother of two toddlers, says, ‘I can’t do things with my married friends at night because their partners are home, and I feel I can’t be supportive to single friends when my husband is home, as I’ll “drop” them because I cherish the short time we do have together.’ Jessica’s solution is to enjoy playgroup and kids’ activities during the day and “socialise” on Facebook at night when her partner is away. She explains, ‘At least I feel connected to the world and I can talk to adults, even though it’s not really in person. And when Ben is at home, I switch off the technology to be with him.’
GEOGRAPHY You live in the country and don’t have any close neighbours. The scenery is pretty but you can’t talk to the cows. It may seem like a major effort to bundle your baby in the car and get out but you could be pleasantly surprised at just how much fun it can be – and who you might meet. Genna, a country mum, says, ‘I drove for an hour to my nearest Australian Breastfeeding >
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baby Association group. I’m so glad I made the effort. I now know two other mums who live nearby and we are meeting up for coffee next week.’
YOUR PARENTING STYLE You don’t gel with your mums’ group because your parenting style varies. Alice says, ‘My baby sleeps less than the other babies but if I dare mention I am feeling tired, all the talk turns to sleep school. That’s not something I want to do. I don’t even want advice, all I really want is a little bit of understanding – without being told I am doing everything wrong.’ Instead of torturing yourself, try seeking out a different group where you can vent safely and keep the conversation at your mothers’ group neutral, such as what toys the babies are enjoying or great places to go with a baby. Or look for another quiet mum who’s probably feeling “different” too and invite her to meet up outside of the group.
YOUR ROUTINES Having a routine can be a source of sanity for many mothers and babies but if it works out that your baby is sleeping when it’s playgroup time, you miss out on the interaction with other mothers. It’s a trade-off between the sanity of sleep and a calm household or the sanity of connection with other grown-ups – only you know whether to consider that as a short-term sacrifice or if your need for company trumps your baby’s routine occasionally.
MONEY Let’s face it, if you had a bucketload of money, you could join a gym class with the childcare thrown in or you could hire a personal trainer and a nanny and meet up with other mums at the gym. But don’t let that stop you – why not organise a local a mother and babies walking group? You could put up a notice in your baby health centre or the local supermarket notice board to gather some other mums and babies to join you.
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DIFFERENT AGED KIDS You are the first person in your pre-baby best friendship group to have children and your childless girlfriends just don’t get that you can’t spontaneously drop everything and go out for a drink at 5pm. Or you are the last person in your
“I don’t even want advice, all I really want is a little bit of understanding – without being told I am doing everything wrong” group to have a baby, their children are older and they are busy with activities so catching up is much more difficult than you had expected. It’s time to connect with a new group with little ones the same ages as yours. Organise catch-ups with old friends during the school holidays when most preschooler activities are on holiday too or plan a girlfriends’ get-together without kids.
YOU AREN’T A “SOCIAL BUTTERFLY” You enjoy meaningful conversations, you hate rowdy girls’ nights out or you aren’t ready to leave your baby yet. Relax: there are all kinds of personalities among mothers, just as there are among people in general. You may have to start at a mothers’ group to find your “kindreds” but you can branch out from there – and when you “gel” with another mum, invite her for a coffee. Don’t judge any mother’s intelligence because so much of the group conversation revolves around completely banal discussions about nappies and sleep (or lack of it). When you chat one on one, you can extend the discussion – and this can be where the longest lasting friendships begin. * It may be worthwhile checking out Pinky McKay’s Parenting by Heart Mummy Meet-ups by visiting pinkymckay.com. These are free informal meetup groups of mums with babies and small children who share and support gentle parenting.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY Nicole Proy of Mockingbird Photography
The
T H IN K ING WOM AN’S website
For Conception, Pregnancy, Birth and Baby
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toddler
Taming tots The shift from infancy to toddlerhood brings with it a raft of new challenges. Psychologists Terri Sheldon and Dr Peta Stapleton offer their advice on dealing with common problems
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oddlers are children aged between one and three and if you have one you will know they are very active and curious. They like to explore, touch, open, shut, throw and empty, all the while learning who they are and how things work. Toddlers long to feel safe but want to be free and in charge of themselves at the same time, learning to walk, talk, feed themselves and toilet-train. You may have experienced them trying out their wills and skills, attempting to become separate, independent little people. Within a short space of time they can move from being independent and ‘I do myself’ to being very needy and dependent again. At this age, they are beginning to learn about feelings and about living with others; starting to learn how to show love, how not to hurt others, how to share and how to take turns. Toddlers are not able to understand our adult reasoning. They cannot understand why we want them to do one thing and not another, particularly when the other seems much more interesting. Toddlers cannot easily sit still, wait, share or control their feelings. Although they can’t do these things well, they will learn all of them with time and consistent management. They often experience strong emotions but
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don’t have the cognitive ability to understand these feelings and what they should do with them. Nor do they possess the language to talk about them so they use their behaviour to tell you how they are feeling (such as tantrums when they are frustrated or angry). Finally, toddlers cannot stop themselves from doing what we know is the wrong thing but what they may feel is the fun or interesting thing; they still need adults to remind them and to help keep them safe.
COMMON PROBLEMS These are some common toddler problems: • whingeing/whining • tantrums • hurting others – biting, hitting, pushing • difficulties sharing • bedtime hassles – going to bed or staying in their own bed • toilet-training troubles • eating/mealtime difficulties.
TODDLER TIPS Here are some ideas to help keep you sane: Make your statements or requests in the positive rather than in the negative as the child often won’t process the whole sentence, >
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Dealing with tantrums It is normal for young children to go through a period of throwing tantrums, particularly at around two years of age, which is where the “terrible twos” saying comes from. In most children, tantrums have become infrequent or ceased by the ages of three or four but in some circumstances they can continue until a child is much older. This will depend on the child’s personality and on how the behaviour has been managed. Tantrums can range from crying through to rolling around on the floor and kicking and screaming, and can last anywhere from 20 to 30 seconds through to an hour or so. They can be very stressful for the parent dealing with them. Tantrums usually occur when toddlers are angry, frustrated, things don’t go the way that they wanted or had expected, told ‘no’, unable to manage difficult tasks, don’t have the words to communicate what they want or feel overtired.
MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES • Be prepared for situations you know may spark a tantrum. For example, don’t take them to a busy shopping centre when you know they are overtired. • Use “planned ignoring”. This is when you walk away and do not look at or speak to the child until they have quietened down. Once they have quietened, praise them and look for something positive to do together. This technique only works when you can control the environment (such as at home). It may be hard to use when you are out shopping or have visitors. • Give an instruction to, ‘Stop screaming and speak nicely’ or ‘Stop screaming and speak in a quiet voice.’ Praise them if they do and
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look for a positive activity to involve them in. Speak in a calm, firm voice, not by yelling or losing control yourself. It’s also a good idea to squat down and look your child directly in the eyes, rather than standing over them. This helps the child feel they are on the same level as you and avoids the power stance of being smaller than you are. • If they do not stop, give an instruction to go to time-out or quiet time. Be calm and firm: ‘You are not quiet so you must go to timeout now.’ Time-out should be a quiet, safe space away from your attention, either the corner of a room facing the wall or an uninteresting room. Some children will take themselves to time-out but most at this early stage will need the adult to take them. Do not make a fuss or talk to the child further as they go to time-out. Tell them they must be quiet for one minute before they can come out. • Once quiet they can rejoin a positive activity with you. Avoid fighting about them coming out at the end of this time if they want to stay and sulk. Let them come out when they are ready after the minute is up. • If they start another tantrum repeat the above steps calmly.
COPING WHEN IN PUBLIC • Try planned ignoring first. • If this doesn’t work find somewhere quiet, away from any busy stimuli, such as your car. Tell them to sit quietly and once they are quiet return to what you were doing. • If the child persists, leave and return home, placing them in time-out once you get home. Following through with your plan and being consistent is the most important step here.
so rather than saying, ‘Don’t go over to the door’ say ‘Come over here.’ This is much easier for their brains to understand and you will be more likely to get compliance. If your child doesn’t follow your directions ensure you have their attention. Go closer to them, get their eye contact and gently touch them rather than call out across the room. If the issue is not negotiable and the child doesn’t have a choice don’t give them a choice. For example, don’t say, ‘Would you like to pick up the toys for Mummy?’ as you will likely get a ‘no’ response and you have given them the choice and set yourself up for a battle. Just say firmly and calmly, ‘Let’s pick up the toys then we can play with something else.’ Start picking them up and encourage your toddler to join you in this. Give them your positive attention when they are doing what you require of them. When dealing with difficult behaviour, stay calm and minimise the attention they get. Tell them firmly what you require and help them to carry this out. Perhaps model what is required. Say, ‘We pat the puppy gently’ then take their hand and show them how to do it. It is very important to always be persistent and consistent. Help children learn about feelings and how to express them. Give names to feelings so they learn that feelings are something you can talk about and start to manage. You could say, ‘You’re feeling sad because Daddy had to go to work’ or ‘I can see you’re angry.’ Also separate feelings from behaviour. You might say, ‘I know you feel angry but you must not hit. When you are angry, you can come and tell me.’ Help them understand the difference between their own feelings and those of others. You could say, ‘It hurts the kitty when you hit him. Let’s pat him gently and make him feel better.’ Plan ahead for outings you know may be a problem, like shopping, visiting friends or having friends visit you: try to make sure they are not overtired and don’t overstay their
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tolerance levels; prepare them for any trips and tell them what is going to happen; if you plan on giving a reward for good behaviour tell them what is expected and what they will get; take a toy to give them something to do; when you go shopping, involve them by giving them little tasks to do like holding things for you or pointing out various items. If you try a new behavioural strategy, be prepared to apply it for a good week consistently before you can evaluate whether it is working. Be aware that the behaviour you are trying to change usually worsens initially (increases in frequency or severity) as the child can be confused about the change and needs to recognise that you are going to stick to the strategy consistently. If, after a week, you are not seeing any improvement then it is time to try a new strategy.
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SEEKING HELP If you are unsure how to manage a particular problem you can seek advice from a child psychologist or attend a parenting group. * The Lakeside Rooms has a number of experienced child psychologists and runs parenting groups. Go to lakesiderooms.com.au or call 07 5562 0466.
useful contacts • familiesaustralia.org.au An independent, not-for-profit organisation that promotes the needs and interests of families. • familyrelationships.gov.au For support with family relationship issues. • kidscount.com.au Ideas on raising happy, confident children from the Australian Childhood Foundation. • parenting.sa.gov.au For Parent Easy Guides that contain detailed behaviour management advice and tip sheets. • parentlink.act.gov.au This website offers a handy network of information, ideas and community services.
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NEWS
PRESCHOOLER&BIG 30% of four-year-olds wet the bed
15% of five-year-olds Omega-3 improves kids’ sleep
A recent Oxford University, UK, study has found a daily supplement of omega-3 DHA improved the length and quality of sleep for children aged from seven to nine over the course of 16 weeks. DHA is one of the omega-3 essential fatty acids that is found in fish oils. Although the study was only small (362 children were involved), previous research has shown an association between low omega-3 levels and poor sleep in infants and also children who have learning difficulties, and this randomised, controlled trial suggests children’s sleep can be improved by DHA supplements. Look for supplements with higher ratios of DHA to EPA and other fatty acids, such as Children’s DHA by Nordic Naturals, $14.95.
30 years
of saving kids
The Children’s Cancer Institute (CCI) is celebrating 30 years since its laboratory doors first opened. Founded by two fathers who met in an oncology ward while their children were undergoing treatment for leukaemia, the CCI is the only independent research institute that is dedicated to children’s cancer in Australia. Executive Director Professor Michelle Haber AM explains, ‘Our focus on finding a cure for childhood cancer is stronger than ever. Sixty years ago, children’s cancer was almost always a death sentence. Today we are proud to say eight out of 10 children survive.’ Visit childrenscancerinstitute.org.au.
NT: 1.01
Percentage of parents recorded as having a conscientious objection to vaccination 148
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QLD: 2.16
ACT: 1.14 SA: 1.99
NSW: 1.38 VIC: 1.47
WA: 1.79 TAS: 1.60
G KIDS Look after little peepers in JulEYE!
July is National Eye Health Awareness Month. Did you know that 75 percent of vision loss is treatable if detected early enough? Orthoptist Handan Otay shares four ways in which to care for your children’s eyes: Have your child’s vision tested before they start school or earlier if there is a family history of eye conditions. Look for unusual behaviours in your kids such as rubbing the eyes, holding objects close to the face, poor night vision or handeye coordination. Limit study time and make sure they spend plenty of time outside in the sunshine. Give them a diet rich in betacarotene (yep, carrots!), omega-3 and antioxidants.
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Endless hours of holiday fun for kids… and peace of mind for parents The school holidays are fast approaching and Christmas is right around the corner. So why not put a Springfree Trampoline under the tree… the tree in the backyard that is! Proven to be the world’s safest trampoline since 2003, Springfree Trampoline is the only trampoline to receive a CHOICE Recommendation following an extensive independent review. With a Springfree Trampoline, safety is something you can depend upon this Christmas.
www.springfree.com.au 1800 JUMP SAFE (1800 586 772) Visit an experience centre Springfree™ Trampoline’s R54 Compact Round - recommended by CHOICE
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news | preschooler & big kids
Holiday help
When travelling with children, your choice of accommodation can make or break the holiday. With this in mind, mum Amanda Woodward has created the Family Friendly Accommodation site with reviews and information on hundreds of holiday properties including resorts, holiday parks, B&Bs and farm stays, both here and overseas. Go to familyfriendlyaccommodation.com.au.
Safety starts on the home computer
As they grow up immersed in technology, Generation Next’s brains will be different, their identities will be forged online and they will outgrow conventional education systems, according to a report commissioned by Intel Security, Safeguarding the Future of Digital Australia in 2025. On the positive side, our kids will be better at multi-tasking and making connections between ideas and will find like-minded communities where previously they may have been isolated. On the flipside, however, there are also more opportunities for bullying, children may become more precocious and will expect to be connected all the time, and many will become increasingly frustrated as they learn faster than the pace of the classroom. The major concern for parents of these hyper-connected kids is safety. Parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson says, ‘We need to teach our children principles for staying safe online and the importance of privacy, because they will be connected, regardless.’
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shopping
PREschooler&BIg
shelf life
planes, trains & automobiles
This Jimmy Stand, $39.95, by Mocka can be used as a shoe rack or to stack storage boxes to keep toys off the floor, minimising mess. Made from natural bamboo and available in two colour options, visit mocka.com.au.
At $49.95, this Bright Star Kids wall sticker set is great for bedrooms or playrooms. Complete with roads, tracks, trains, planes and cars, the removable and reusable stickers can be moved around the wall! Go to brightstarkids.com.au.
take the floor
put your feet up
How awesome is this rug by Armadillo & Co? Handmade from soft hemp in a hard wearing weave, the daisy rug, $255, has a great tactile quality for kids to play on and is a classic style. Head to thelittlekidzcloset.com.au.
With a scalloped design and channelling Moroccan vibes, this turquoise pouffe, $220, which has been handmade from leather in Morocco, is an ideal footrest, coffee table or fun item for a child’s room. Visit moowoo.com.au.
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g KIDS
“keeping kids covered” peas in a pod
Nanny McPea, $9.95, is a non-toxic, reusable and convenient pea to soothe any ache, pain or injury incurred by kids at play. It can be frozen to relieve fever and swelling, or heated to provide comfort for a sore tummy or a cold winter night too. Keep it in the fridge for easy access at any time. See nannymcpea.com.
From this
To this
easy as abc For awesome toy storage, look no further than these Charlie canvas printed tubs, $49.95 each, by Morstor. With super cute ABC patterns in little boy’s or girl’s styles, they’re educational, with two sturdy handles and made from durable nylon canvas so you can easily move them around the room. Get yours from mor-stor.com.au.
squeaky clean All-in-one is the solution for busy little ones, making the Organic Care Kids 3-in-1 Conditioning Shampoo and Bodywash, $3.99 by Nature’s Organics, ideal. Plus it’s a tearfree formula. Read more at naturesorganics.com.au.
Kids Zip Sheets is a sleeping innovation to
prevent children from kicking off or tangling in their sheets. It’s a flat sheet that’s attached to the fitted sheet with zips on either side to allow for easy entrance & exit.
P Children are less likely to fall out of bed P No more tucking in sheets P Great for bunk beds! Cot size $59.95
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How does your garden grow? Get your children out into the garden growing their own vegies with these five fun tips from author and small-time farmer Bianca Ross
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e are in the midst of a backyard revolution. The vegie patch is back, and whether you have a large yard with a garden bed or a courtyard adorned by a vertical garden, growing your own food is firmly on the menu. The garden is a wonderful place for children too. Once they discover it for themselves, the TV will be off and you’ll have your phone back! Here are five ways you can encourage your kids to get outside:
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Show them something new each day We all love new things, especially children. And that’s the wonderful thing about a garden – there’s always something different to see. A new flower appears for this season’s crop, leaves change colour and birds fly by to pay a visit. Start a conversation with your child by asking them what they’ve found today: • have them draw a picture of one of their favourite discoveries • suggest they make up a short poem about it • encourage them to share their thoughts with you and ask about what they’ve seen.
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Empower them & embrace “Let me do it!” Kids love doing things for themselves and the garden is a wonderful spot to indulge their independence. It’s the one place where they have the license to spill water and spread dirt! Allowing your child to literally get their hands dirty is liberating for both you and them: • encourage them to pick produce, dig garden beds and water pots • teach them about the benefits their activities provide for the garden • discuss how gardens and plants enhance our everyday life.
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Encourage them to be creative We’ve all heard that every idea is a good idea and this is especially true for our children! There’s no strict colour palette to adhere to, and it’s a place where “alternative” design can indeed work. Discuss with your child what they think would work in the garden: • have them paint pots with their own designs using their favourite colours • encourage them to arrange garden beds and pots in their own way. >
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preschooler
planting guide 4 for winter Planting seasonally is as nature intended for our bodies, with each crop delivering the nutrients and minerals we need throughout the year to stay healthy and well. Although cold weather can pose some challenges to planting there are a number of things we can do to ensure that our vegetables grow happily in the winter months. Preparation is essential so make sure you select a sheltered spot away from chilly winds and in full sun. Also ensure the soil is well drained, and dig in some mushroom compost to give your plants the best start. Plant each variety in its own space, as some varieties compete with others. Here are four vegetables you can grow with your children right now: Broad beans Plant seeds approximately 5cm deep. Sprinkle over with dirt as this allows air to remain in the soil, which the seeds need to sprout. As the plants grow, stake them to ensure sunlight reaches them. Harvest in around 15 weeks and pick regularly to encourage more growth. Lettuce Plant seeds approximately 5cm deep. Sprinkle over with dirt as this allows air to remain in the soil, which the seeds need to sprout. Harvest in seven to 10 weeks. Onion Plant seeds approximately 5cm deep. Sprinkle over with dirt as this allows air to remain in the soil, which the seeds need to sprout. Onions take quite some time to grow, over 20 weeks, but they are worth the wait! Radish Plant seeds about 5cm deep. Sprinkle over with dirt as this allows air to remain in the soil, which the seeds need to sprout. Radishes are easy to grow and will be ready in around five weeks. Enjoy planting, and eating, your homegrown winter crop!
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Give them responsibility for their own section of the garden Allowing a child to have their very own space fosters a sense of pride. It gives a child the feeling of ownership and encourages their buy-in for a range of activities and projects. Designate an area of the garden that will become their domain: • encourage them to draw up plans with pots or garden beds to lay out their space • help them make a list of the materials they will need to achieve these plans • once it’s up and growing, encourage them to weed, water and check for garden pests. Little people love slimy things!
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Have them choose what they want to grow We all love our favourite things, and children have such a special way of expressing delight in theirs. Harnessing their enthusiasm for gardening can be very beneficial. Studies show that kids who are involved in growing fruit and vegetables are far more likely to give them a try. Seeing plants develop and grow helps children learn and appreciate the effort and time it takes to produce food: • talk about which fruit and vegetables they like to eat, and make a planting and picking chart for the seasons • discuss the time it takes for the plants to grow to help manage their expectations • make a list of recipes that include each fruit and vegetable as an ingredient to help with meal planning.
Help your children prosper! Kids are naturally inquisitive and the garden is one of the best places to satisfy this. It is handy too – it’s within walking distance, it’s always available and, best of all, it’s free! * Bianca C Ross is the author of Herbert Peabody and his Extraordinary Vegetable Patch (Farinet, $18.95). See herbertpeabody.com for details. To order your copy simply email sales@herbertpeabody.com.
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Finally, a different way of parenting! If you feel uncomfortable with the traditional authoritarian parenting style then Raising Competent Children is a “must-have”. It is full of inspiration on how to raise competent children and how to develop relationships based on equal dignity, integrity and authenticity, and how to support your children developing self-responsibility – both personal and social. Raising Competent Children is easy to read and draws on examples from everyday life. The author, Jesper Juul, is the founder of FamilyLab and a renowned authority on the family. He has written a number of best-sellers and must-have books.
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FamilyLab ANZ www.familylab.com.au info@familylab.com.au PO Box 354 Summer Hill NSW 2130 02 9799 2424
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BIG KIDS
IQ or EQ? family therapist Sharon Turton says it is enhancing our children’s Emotional intelligence – not their cognitive ability – that is the key to raising happy kids
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s a parent, what do you really want for your kids? Do you want them to be financially secure, with a great job and able to afford all that this wonderful world has to offer? Of course you do. But is this the key to their happiness? If it were, we would not have soaring rates of depression and anxiety amongst our youth, even though Australia is one of the most affluent nations on the planet. Where does happiness come from if it’s not from owning the best house, the latest car and the smartest gadgets? I would hazard a guess that it comes from the way we connect with our world, our beliefs, values and our ways of being. In other words, happiness resides deep down inside of us. The connection kids have with their parents and the messages they receive in the early years literally shapes their neural pathways and has a massive input on how they see the world, how they communicate with others and how they connect with themselves… feeling joyful, loving, full of confidence and self-worth, or anxious, angry and depressed.
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The way that we relate to others, not only intellectually but also emotionally, has a far greater impact on happiness than material gain. Having a healthy EQ (emotional intelligence) is more important than a high IQ in determining a fulfilled and happy life. EQ guides us to know how best to handle difficult situations without metaphorically “losing the plot”. It is being sensitive and empathetic, and understanding why someone might behave in an unfriendly or downright nasty way. Having a high EQ means you understand your own emotions and can manage them, so you have the choice to respond when triggered rather than just react unconsciously in anger, impatience, anxiety or fear. In fact, our ability to manage our behaviour depends completely on our ability to manage our emotions. Many parents are focused on their children’s IQ and improving their grades! However, your child’s emotional intelligence is more important to their life success than a high IQ. If we look at kids, those with a challenged EQ are unable to manage their emotions or to
control themselves. If children can’t manage their emotions and don’t know how to express them appropriately, they act them out because they can’t tolerate their feelings. They end up fighting or being overly anxious and uncooperative. Punishment doesn’t work nor does it teach children anything particularly constructive, as they don’t even know why they are acting like this. While there are many wonderful therapies out there to help kids release their emotional blocks, I believe it is also vital for us parents to look at our own EQ in our busy and stressful lives, and “get real” with what we are role modelling to our kids. Studies have shown that parents who are emotionally intelligent role model healthy EQ to their children, so the child grows up with the ability to manage his own emotions, and therefore manage and understand his own behaviour. Conversely, parents who react with anger, impatience or anxiety to their children’s behaviour are actually teaching just this… regardless of the words that are used. In fact,
a resounding 80 percent of a child’s behaviour comes from what you do as a parent, despite what you say! We all have challenges in life where our buttons are pushed and we are triggered and react in ways that we would rather not, and our kids more than anyone else know how to push these buttons. But when you realise that so much of a child’s behaviour is modelled from the parents, it is well worth taking a good look at your own unconscious reactivity, which may be inadvertently projected onto your child. So the question is – what behaviour are your kids reflecting back to you? It all starts with us! * Sharon Turton is a family therapist and journey practitioner. She has been running children’s and parents’ emotional release and wellbeing workshops around Australia and overseas since 2003. Sharon is available for private sessions in Sydney or over Skype. You can check out her free e-book, The 7 Steps to a Loving Connection with your Child, at connectingkidsandparents.com.au or phone her on 0412 792 967.
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You know thatplace between sleep and awake That place where you still remember dreaming That’s where I’ll always Love you Peter Pan by J M Barrie
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