My Child Magazine August 2014 Issue by My Child Magazine

AUSTRALIA’s BEST PREGNANCY, BABY & PARENTING MAGAZINE ISSUE 35

* AUGUST 2014

Enter our

BIG Funny Faces

competition

and you could win one of three $500 Purebaby Essentials packs

PREGNANCY

ALERT

11 things you swore you’d never do (but do anyway)!

DOES YOUR HOME NEED A

DETOX?

SHOP IT! Spring

FASHION FINDS

Rise & shine

Brekkie ideas

TOP BABY CARE TIPS Sleep, sickness, teething & night terrors

Back to work? HOW TO SUCCEED

SIBLING RIVALRY // MANAGE MORNING SICKNESS // GREAT GAME IDEAS

M E R I N Othe Knatural I D Schoice TM

E S TA B

L IS H E

D 2003

HED TA B L IS nd

ala New Ze

2003

eala AAnLdG ZN wI eG N I R B

SEATBELT VENT FOR USE IN THE CAR OR BUGGY

O SL E E P te edA L BA B Y G Ia nN

RB Iy G u a r BAG O Q u a l itY S L E E P teed BA Q u a l it y

Guaran

DOME SYSTEM FOR EASE OF USE

A LUXURIOUS MERINO WOOL LINING. (FLEECE/SHEEPSKIN)

SUPERFINE MERINO PJS

NEW Winter Weight Go Go Bag The N E W Wi nter We ig h t G o G o B a g s h a ve a ll t h e fea t u res you wou l d ex p ect from t he worl d ’s b es t b a by s l eep i n g bag (t he G o G o B ag ) b u t we h a ve a d d e d a lu xu r io u s meri no fl eece l i ni ng to keep you r l i t t l e ones wa rm i n t he coo l est o f ro o m tem p e ra t u re s ! Th is is th e wa r m e st 100% na t u ra l b a by s l eep i ng b a g on t he ma rket . Spe c i al M y C hi l d E xc lu s ive O f f e r – E n te r co u p o n cod e ‘MYCHILDVIP ’ w hen p l a ci ng you r ord er onl i ne a nd rece i ve 1 5 % O FF. Te r m s & Co n d itio n’s a p p ly.

Superfine Merino Pyjamas

Duvet Weight Go Go Bag

Cocooi Newborn Babywrap

100% Superfine Merino 6-12mths, 12-24mths, 2-3yrs, 3-4yrs, 4-5yrs

100% Superfine Merino Lining & 100% Organic Cotton Outer NB-2yrs & 2-4yrs

100% Superfine Merino NB-3mths

+64 (0) 9361 6941 • 1800 643 056 • info@merinok ids.com

w w w.mer ino k ids.co m 2

mychild | july 2014

Editor’s column

ach stage we go through during our pregnancy and then with our baby and child brings with it new joys along with the inevitable challenges (and my mum would say adult kids too – think divorce, family fallouts etc!). Just as we think we have our head around the current stage, it soon passes and we have a new one to grapple with. This issue is a kind of tribute to all those little life stages we go through during the journey from pregnancy (morning sickness, labour and recovery) to baby care, to going back to work, to managing sibling rivalry and even play ideas for grandparents! My personal favourite article is “11 things you swore you’d never do (but do anyway)”… I can really relate! Before I fell pregnant, I definitely had plans to be healthy, wholesome and active, but I found myself more than once curled up on the couch nursing a bucket of ice-cream. It happens to the best of us! We’re also longing for the start of Spring so have pulled together some great newseason fashion finds and a host of inspiring interior styling ideas plus some yummy brekkie options – and even tips on detoxing your home. Enjoy!

LISE TAYLOR

loves If your tiny tot is teething, brighten up your day with a teething necklace priced from $40 at Monkey & Mum. Visit monkeyandmum.com.au. Plus turn to page 128 to read our top tips.

july 2014 | mychild

56 102

contents COVER STORIES 12 36 44 78 104 106 124 138 148 152

Enter our BIG Funny Faces comp Does your home need a detox? Spring fashion finds Rise & shine Brekkie ideas Manage morning sickness Pregnancy alert 11 things you swore you’d never do (but do anyway)! Top baby care tips Sleep, sickness, teething & night terrors Back to work? How to succeed Great game ideas Sibling rivalry

win! 12 19 82

Big Funny Faces Facebook competition Win one of three $500 Purebaby Essentials packs Readers’ letters Win a Closer to Nature infant prize pack worth over $300 Subscribe Win one of seven $149 Woolbabe duvet sleeping bags

mychild | august 2014

style 10 16 20 22 24 28 32 44 48 60 65 68 72 78

Editor’s picks Bits & bobs News & reviews What we love about... Stokke Xplory My 5 favourites Dijana Dotur from Australian fashion label SOOKIbaby Behind the brand Meet Lillemor Jakobson from BabyBjörn Have you met…? Aimee Marks from TOM Organic My business Alina Sack from ErgoPouch and the background to her business Behind the brand Meet Sharon Chim from Queen Bee Fashion Discover new-season styles for babies and children Shopping compare Kids’ lunchboxes Interiors report Soft spot for pastels Interiors my space Seeing stars in this little girl’s bedroom Party Toy Story fourth birthday bash Cooking Yummy breakfast ideas

®Trade Mark Johnson & Johnson 1465/13

Bath, massage, quiet time and I’m out like a light, mum.

I need twice as much sleep as you do, mum. So I love how we do this JOHNSON’S® baby bedtime routine every night. With NATURALCALM® essences, it’s proven to help me fall asleep faster. Thanks mum, you’ve got the magic touch. august 2014 | mychild

67 54

contents PREGNANCY & BIRTH 96

100 104 106 110

News Pesticides linked to autism, placenta capsules & the Name Game app Shopping 5 ways to manage morning sickness 11 things you swore youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d never do The after birth All you need to know about post-birth recovry

preschooler & big kids 144 News Anxiety disorders, worms

& getting kids to eat more vegies 146 Shopping 148 Play the game Great game and activity ideas for quality bonding time 152 Sibling rivalry A paediatrician explains how to restore peace in your household

BABY & TODDLER

family

116 News Baby talk, toddler meals to your

36 40 86 90

120 124 130

134 138

142 6

door & how to share a nanny Shopping Baby care tips Sleep, sickness & teething Touch base Raise your bub in the right emotional environment to avoid stress Why does a baby bite? Women & work Back to work? Read our tips for a successful transition Dealing with night terrors How to cope

mychild | august 2014

6 good reasons for a home detox Family matters Feeling neglected? News Mumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s health & wellbeing Mummy bloggers

ON THE COVER Styling Samantha Campbell Photography Michelle Young Model Nell wears Eeni Meeni Miini Moh. Visit eenimeeni.com.

august 2014 | mychild

PUBLISHER & EDITOR LISE TAYLOR DEPUTY EDITOR & online editor CASSANDRA HOLLAND ART DIRECTOR & STYLIST SAMANTHA CAMPBELL features editor NICOLA CONVILLE NEWS editor JO HEGERTY NEWSLETTER EDITOR & WRITER AMY LOVAT sub-editors

CASSANDRA HOLLAND & AMY LOVAT

social media manager SELENA THURBON @ SOCIAL MEDIA MINDS EDITORIAL ENQUIRIES editorial@poppetgroup.com.au CONTRIBUTING EXPERTS SHELLEY DAVIDOW, KAREN GATELY, JESPER JUUL, PROFESSOR KIM OATES, LAURA TROTTA, KELLY WINDER

STOCK PHOTOGRAPHY iStock ADVERTISING DIRECTOR LISE TAYLOR m 0410 660 578 e lise@poppetgroup.com.au

CONTACT 61 2 4981 8876 mychildmagazine.com.au PO Box 174 Stockton NSW 2295 Australia

MANAGING DIRECTOR LISE TAYLOR

GENERAL MANAGER BRIAN TAYLOR MY CHILD IS PRODUCED & PUBLISHED BY POPPET GROUP PTY LTD ABN 93 120 831 021 My Child magazine and mychildmagazine.com.au are wholly owned by Poppet Group Pty Ltd (ABN 93 120 831 021). No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in the company or in My Child or mychildmagazine.com.au. My Child contains general information only and does not purport to be a substitute for health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. Reproduction of any material without written permission by the publisher is strictly forbidden. We cannot accept responsibility for material lost or damaged in the post or for any unsolicited manuscripts and photographs. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.

mychild | august 2014

july 2014 | mychild

review

editor’s picks ALL KINDS OF PRODUCTS CROSS lise’s DESK EACH DAY. HERE ARE a few of her favourites

How on trend is this vintageinspired pastel crochet rug by Danish kids’ interiors brand Sebra? It’s yours for £95 at nubie.co.uk. Sydney-based designers Micky & Stevie have the coolest stuff for children, including this soft toy rabbit $29.95. See mickyandstevie.com.au. Carry everything for bub in this stylish and functional Lola Tote by Il Tutto. Available at iltutto.com.au for $249, it accommodates all the bits and bobs you need in a nappy bag. Ever-so-flattering, Mothers En Vogue’s Algeria dress, $99, can be dressed up or down for growing bellies. See mothersenvogue.com. I would’ve just loved one of these upholstered beds, $1,300, as a little girl! Check out lillylolly.com.au. Ever since I discovered online store Little Pie Street there’s no turning back! This Lulu knitted art toy, $159.95, by Lucky Boy Sunday is precious. See littlepiestreet.com.au.

2 3

5 6

mychild | august 2014

august 2014 | mychild

* 11

MY CHILD PROMOTION

Enter our BIG Fun Faces competition Pop a funny photo of your baby or child on our Facebook page and you could win one of three $500 Purebaby Essentials packs

We love chatting to all of our readers via our Facebook page and wanted to give back to our social media followers by holding a fun Facebook competition. Plus by entering, you could win one of three fantastic Purebaby Essentials packs worth $500 each. The packs contain a selection of baby necessities, including sleepwear, clothing basics, wraps, sheets, soft toys and loads more! The Purebaby Essentials range has been

TO ENTER

thoughtfully designed to nurture you and your little one. Their products are made using certified organic cotton, grown and harvested without the use of harmful chemicals. Each piece is soft on your baby’s skin and gentle on our planet. Competition closes August 22 2014. To find out more about Purebaby’s news and promotions, sign up to be a member at purebaby.com.au, or see facebook.com/purebabyorganic.

• If you aren’t already a Facebook friend you’ll need to like us at facebook.com/mychildmagazine. • Post a funny picture of your child as a comment in our Facebook competition post. • Include #mychildmagazine in the post when uploading the photo. • See mychildmagazine.com.au for terms and conditions.

mychild | august 2014

nny n

august 2014 | mychild

* 13

my child promotion

THE BEST IN WEBSIT

shopping online for pregnancy, baby and kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ge

just for mums koolamandesigns.com.au babynappybags.com.au newbeginnings.com.au loveloops.com.au metromum.com.au littlesilverprints.com.au manthaandyou.com.au healthymummy.com.au lassig.com.au thestorknest.com.au

baby care difrax.com.au pigeonbaby.com.au medela.com.au yourcheekymonkey.com.au essentialbabyneeds.com gelpack.com.au bambooty.com.au keepmecosy.com.au peapods.com.au stokke.com

eco friendly earlybirds.com.au masterandmiss.com.au ittybittygreenie.com.au moltex.com.au ettitude.com.au babyluvdesigns.com.au naturaltransition.com avidiva.com.au raindropsandlollipops.com.au petitarmoir.com.au

mychild | june 2014

out & about babybjorn.com.au gear4baby.com.au haggusandstookles.com.au hugglebabycarriers.com.au bumbo.com.au tooshcoosh.com.au fridge-to-go.net.au hugabub.com limetreekids.com.au bambooty.com.au

toys/parties/gifts thebabyshowershop.com.au misskikiofcherryblossomlane.com happylittlehippos.com.au brightstarkids.com.au babyvegas.com.au zimmerjee.com.au tinypolkadots.com.au donnerandblitzen.com.au papereskimo.com.au novelgifts.com.au

sweet dreams snugglebum.com.au louandolly.com bambinipronto.com.au sleepywings.com.au babyo.com.au babydonkie.com.au merinokids.com.au marquise.com.au ergopouch.com.au alfredandmaize.com.au

TES

ear? give these great sites a go!

baby fashion oishi-m.com plumcollections.com.au puretots.com.au brightbots.com.au maxandtilly.com.au angelfishdragonfly.com.au skiptomylou.com.au buddhababy.com.au gaiaorganiccotton.com.au littlefrenchy.com.au

Gifts/fun/learning solvejswings.com donnerandblitzen.com.au maxandella.com.au brainychild.com.au littlebeba.com.au thebabyshowershop.com.au uberkate.com.au vtechkids.com.au urbanbaby.com.au moowoo.com.au

nutrition/feeding qubies.com.au fridge-to-go.net.au wholekids.com.au philips.com.au/avent raffertysgarden.com onlyorganic.com.au waterbuddies.com.au boobiebikkies.com.au cheeki.net.au losebabyweight.com.au

Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fashion koolamandesigns.com.au platypusaustralia.com nestling.com.au babydonkie.com.au designchild.com.au purely4kids.com.au eternalcreation.com eenimeeni.com tinytribe.com.au naturebaby.com.au

GO NATURAL bambooty.com.au littleinnoscents.com.au motherscorn.com.au mambinoorganics.com.au ittybittygreenie.com.au merinokids.com.au kidsecostyle.com.au littleeconest.com.au naturebaby.com.au aromababy.com.au

smart interiors leafydreamsnurserydecals. com.au speckledhouse.com.au siroccohome.com.au petit.com.au myfirstroom.com.au thelittlekidzcloset.com.au stuckupkids.com.au danishbydesign.com.au 41orchard.com.au

june 2014 | mychild

* 15

ideas

mychild | august 2014

Ahead of the game

PRODUCT

OF THE MONTH

This Peggy Indian Headdress, $79.95, is a quirky piece designed for childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s costume play or to hang on their bedroom wall. It is made from a soft suede base and decorated with beading, fur and feather details. See peggy.com.au to view the entire collection.

august 2014 | mychild

* 17

ideas

BITS&BOBS

APP HAPPY

Little Things in Common is an app designed to help new parents connect with other parents in the same situation. It has a function that allows you to search for parents who live close by and have things in common with you. Mums and dads can also join groups based on location, interest or baby age/due date. For more information see littlethingsincommon.com.au.

In the spotlight GET READING

Launched in Australia in July, personalised childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book series Lost My Name, $33.95, was created and self-funded by three dads and an uncle who are based in the UK. The book tells the story of a child who has lost their name and sets off to find the missing letters. The story takes your child through a series of twists and by the end, they will have found all the letters that spell out their own name. It is ideal for kids between the ages of two to six years. Available exclusively at notinshops.com.au, you can buy the series in versions for either boys or girls.

mychild | august 2014

Bettina Management is now celebrating itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 22nd anniversary in the entertainment industry as an organisation dedicated to placing child talent in Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane and Perth. This model and talent agency represents kids from five months to 15 years who star in TV ads, catalogues for brands like Huggies, Bonds and Country Road, and TV shows such as Winners and Losers, House Husbands and Offspring. You can book a complimentary interview to see if your child has what it takes by submitting an online application at bettina.com.au, or check out facebook.com/bettinamanagement for daily casting news or to see some of the work of their current child models.

EASY AS A B C

Brand new from ABC Kids, Sesame Street has released three new preschoolage titles, including Bert and Ernie’s Greatest Hits, Hot! Hot! Hot! Dance Songs and Silly Songs. Sesame Street remains one of the most loved programs for preschoolers with a mix of education, colour, music, culture and, of course, fun! Your child will be sure to love the TV show theme songs and have their little feet tapping to great, classic hits like Rubber Duckie. Head to abcmusic.com.au to learn more.

STAR LETTER

letter to the editor

It dawns on me with two days to go before my third baby is due that I don’t know how I’m going to do this! You would think it gets easier with the more children you Taming tots have, but the last five-and-a-half months have been so busy and stressful for us. T My partner and I are dairy farmers and after telling our boss I was pregnant again they gave us the ultimatum of finding somewhere else to work or buying into the business. It has proven more difficult than expected. I feel like the worst mother as my three-year-old has become more defiant and a handful lately because I have been so busy juggling work commitments and my pregnancy. After reading your July issue articles (which I feel were written just for me) “Taming tots”, “Close to one’s heart” and “Finding your feet”, I feel a little more in focus with what I need to do. I’ve loved your magazine from my very first pregnancy and want to thank you for putting it out there. Beck Robertson, via email toddler

brings with it to toddlerhood Sheldon the shift from infancyges. Psychologists Terri on dealing a raft of new challen on offer their advice and dr PeTa STaPleT s with common Problem

ability to understand don’t have the cognitive aged between one they should do with oddlers are children these feelings and what have one you will the language to talk and three and if you Nor do they possess to tell and curious. them. use their behaviour know they are very active about them so they (such as tantrums touch, open, shut, throw They like to explore, you how they are feeling learning who they are frustrated or angry). and empty, all the while safe when they are stop themselves Toddlers long to feel and how things work. Finally, toddlers cannot in charge of themselves know is the wrong thing we what doing but want to be free and from to walk, talk, feed is the fun or interesting at the same time, learning but what they may feel to remind them adults toilet-train. need and still they themselves thing; them trying out safe. You may have experienced and to help keep them attempting to become their wills and skills, a little people. Within separate, independent COMMON PROBLEMS can move from being toddler problems: short space of time they These are some common myself’ to being very independent and ‘I do • whingeing/whining again. At this age, they needy and dependent • tantrums pushing about feelings and about others – biting, hitting, are beginning to learn to show • hurting how learn to living with others; starting and • difficulties sharing in others, how to share going to bed or staying love, how not to hurt • bedtime hassles – how to take turns. their own bed to understand our adult Toddlers are not able • toilet-training troubles understand why we reasoning. They cannot • eating/mealtime difficulties. thing and not another, want them to do one more other seems much particularly when the wait, TODDLER TIPS sane: cannot easily sit still, ideas to help keep you some are interesting. Toddlers Here or requests in the feelings. Although they Make your statements share or control their all of well, they will learn in the negative as the positive rather than can’t do these things . > the whole sentence, consistent management them with time and child often won’t process strong emotions but They often experience

144

mychild | july 2014

WRITE TO US FOR YOUR CHANCE TO

WIN

Closer to Nature infant prize pack worth over $300 One star letter published in our September issue will receive a Closer To Nature Infant prize pack worth over $300. The pack includes an Essentials Kit, Sangenic Nappy Wrapper System and 0-6 month soothers. Closer to Nature has just released their new soother range containing four styles – Air, Anytime, Night Time and Fun. The soothers are suitable to use from birth and are designed with an orthodontic silicone teat to support healthy oral development. For more information or to find your nearest local stockist, head over to closertonaturebaby.com.au. You can also learn their latest news at facebook.com/closertonaturebaby. For terms and conditions, check out mychildmagazine.com.au. You are welcome to email your letters to editorial@poppetgroup. com.au. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

august 2014 | mychild

* 19

IDEAS

What we love aboutâ&#x20AC;Ś the STOKKE XPLORY PRAM

rends will come and go, but true style endures. Stokke has just released their new-look colours, which find a sophisticated, timeless balance between classic and cool. The new black and deep blue Xplory pram options are made from richly textured fabric with the kind of signature premium quality you can expect from Stokke. The Xplory brings your baby closer to you with seat height adjustability, meaning you can interact and explore the world together. Effortless to manoeuvre, it has rear- or frontfacing options along with an infinite choice of seating positions. Two-wheel function makes it easy to push on rough and uneven surfaces like the beach,

mychild | august 2014

and the open space between the wheels wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t restrict the way that you walk. The adjustable stroller seat means bub can sit high at tables and benches in cafes, great for mums on the go grabbing a quick coffee! Better yet, the Xplory becomes a carry cot for easy travel, offering a curved base and optional opening with air ventilation to prevent your child from overheating when you are on the move. The visor also protects them from wind and light, or it can be folded back for your baby to enjoy the view. If deep blue and black are your kind of style, Stokke has also released the Crusi stoller and MyCarrier in both these colours. * Visit stokke.com to read more product information.

With NUK Bottles, everyone feels good.

Australian Distributor NUK AUSTRALIA Abu Garcia Pty Ltd PO Box 5199 Chittaway Bay, NSW 2261 NUK is a registered trademark of MAPA GmbH/Germany

‘‘Do babies always have tummy pains after their bottle?’’ If babies drink too quickly, they may swallow a lot of air – this can cause tummy pains. This is why the NUK First Choice Teat has a new vent which ensures a natural and regular flow of food from the bottle, which helps prevent colic.

‘‘What lies behind the shape of the NUK Teat?’’ Research shows that a mother’s nipple changes shape as she breastfeeds, adapting optimally to the baby’s mouth. The NUK Team of orthodontists and medical experts have replicated the natural shape of a mother’s nipple whilst breastfeeding and developed the NUK Orthodontic Shape for our soothers and teats, which plays a vital role in baby’s oral development. So babies will hardly notice any difference between the breast and the bottle.

‘‘Is breastfeeding the best for babies?’’ Yes, definitely. But if there is a time when it is not possible, NUK First Choice Teats are a good alternative. They are readily accepted by babies who are both bottle and breastfed and allow you to alternate between both breast and bottle without any problems as proven in our independent clinical research. *

For a drinking sensation as natural as possible: NUK First Choice Teats.

NUK. Understanding Life.

Available from

and all leading pharmacies july 2014 | mychild

* 21

IDEAS

mychild | august 2014

My favourites Dijana Dotur, owner of Australian fashion label SOOKIbaby, shares some of her best-loved products

Cuckoo clocks Our little cuckoo clock bird sings to us each hour in the design studio. I am just so cuckoo about cuckoo clocks and canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t resist stopping at Cuckoo Corner in Berry, NSW, each time the family heads to the beautiful South Coast.

Handcrafted white linen sheets I love the crispness and exquisite handcrafted embroidery of the linen sheets handed down to me by my mother-in-law that were given to her 40 years ago.

3 SOOKIbaby Swim I am so excited about our upcoming swimwear launch. Keeping it fresh and playful, SOOKIbaby Swimwear has been designed with long, hot Aussie summers in mind. See sookibaby.com.au.

Glow by Carla Oates, the Beauty Chef There are over 20 skin-loving super foods in this delicious berry powder that nourish and enhance the skin from the inside each day.

Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll This is my all-time favourite childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book. This treasure chest of witty quotes serves as my greatest source of inspiration for my designs.

august 2014 | mychild

* 23

IDEAS

mychild | august 2014

Behind the brand A mother of four and grandmother of 10, Lillemor Jakobson, creative director of BabyBjรถrn, talks about the challenges and rewards of being your own boss

august 2014 | mychild

* 25

ideas | behind the brand

mychild | august 2014

orking hand-in-hand with her husband, Björn Jakobson, Lillemor established the BabyBjörn brand back in 1961. Although their products are now sold in 50 countries, the brand didn’t become the success it is today without a few bumps along the way and Lillemor is constantly challenged by her role. ‘Thirty million babies have been carried in our baby carriers since we started,’ she says. ‘But we will continue to perfect our products – they will never stop evolving. There is plenty of work ahead!”

About the brand The company encompasses a wide range of baby products, including baby carriers, travel cots, bouncers, highchairs, and feeding and bathroom items. ‘We’re among the very best at what we do,’ says Lillemor proudly. ‘Trends come and go but we’ve been at the top of this game since the 1970s, and although the products have been around a long while, they have evolved over time and always stayed true to three core values: safety, quality and style.’

The business side of things This once-small business now boasts almost 100 employees. ‘Many of our staff have been with the team for a long time so it feels like a family company in more ways than one,’ Lillemor explains. While many small companies have been

bought out by larger corporations over the years, Lillemor takes pride in the fact that BabyBjörn is still a family business. And while some might baulk at working so closely with

“Thirty million babies have been carried in our baby carriers since we started… but we will continue to perfect our products – they will never stop evolving. There is plenty of work ahead!” their other half, Lillemor says she loves it. Björn works on the business side of things, while she takes care of the aesthetics – the perfect partnership. ‘When it’s your own business you can really make a difference. My opinions and decisions have affected and shaped the company,’ she adds.

Future endeavours Looking ahead, Lillemor says she hopes to keep the company relevant by finding the right balance between tradition and renewal, explaining, ‘BabyBjörn has given me so much already, including the possibility of working with my husband while we built the company together. I hope we will continue to be able to make day-to-day life easier for parents with small children.’ *

Visit babybjorn.com.au.

august 2014 | mychild

* 27

ideas

Have you metâ&#x20AC;Ś? Aimee Marks from TOM organic

mychild | august 2014

august 2014 | mychild

* 29

ideas | have you met…?

imee Marks is the founder and CEO of TOM Organic, a new Australian organic feminine hygiene range. She is dedicated to an organic lifestyle and committed to caring for the environment. TOM supports a range of charities including the Australian Cervical Cancer Foundation.

Tell us about your family life I was raised in a household filled with passion, laughter and fun. I’m really close to my family and I guess it’s the one space where I can let all my barriers down. My parents are quite entrepreneurial and I grew up with small business being the norm. As kids we were always Mum and Dad’s day-to-day support crew – this taught us that a good work ethic is important and finding something you are passionate about is even more important. I have always been surrounded by healthy eating habits and fitness too. This was just a part of my daily life growing up, whether it was playing sports or understanding where our food was coming from. It’s followed me into adulthood and is something I’m incredibly grateful to my parents for. My husband and I are starting our own family later this year. We’ve got twins on the way and we can’t wait to start that next phase of our life.

How would your friends describe you? Passionate, with a quirky sense of humour. They’d also say I was generous of heart, honest, healthy and crazy at the best of times (in the sense of always pushing the boundaries and never settling for complacency).

mychild | august 2014

What is your favourite childhood memory? Family ski trips and holidays! There were always so many laughs, usually involving me stuck in an all-in-one ski suit without enough time to get it off to go to the bathroom! I can laugh about it now…

what inspired you? It started out like any business idea: solving a problem. I was 18 and tired of my tampons falling out in my handbag. I wanted to redesign conventional packaging but as soon as I hit the ingredients list everything changed. When you ask women ‘What’s in your tampon?’, most don’t actually know the answer. We’re talking about a product that goes into one of the most absorbent parts of our body. I didn’t feel comfortable using other feminine hygiene products that were made from synthetics and pesticide-sprayed cotton, so it made sense to

Aimee’s tips for starting your own business

1 2 3

Never compromise on your values and believe 100 percent that no-one knows your idea or company better than you. Seek out great mentors and surround yourself with people who inspire you. You need some serious determination – to have the drive to keep going no matter what, no matter how many roadblocks come your way. I never let a ‘no’ stand in my way. Ever. Passion changes everything – it pushes you to persevere and is the fire in your belly. It’s why we do what we do.

produce a product that I would feel safest using in my own body. We use over 12,000 tampons in a lifetime – it was a no-brainer.

What is the hardest decision you have had to make? To de-range our product from a chain of stores that was not ethically aligned – a huge part of what we do is build relationships, and sometimes those relationships don’t align with what you believe in or there’s a lack of respect for what you’re trying to achieve. It was a risk and a challenge to pull our products from 300 stores in the early days – but looking back I’m confident I made the right decision.

Explain the environment that best stimulates your creativity Being in solitude, in beautiful surroundings overlooking water gives me the time I need to reflect and consolidate my ideas. On the flip side, I love attending inspiring conferences and get-togethers.

Describe life outside your job As a business owner it can be difficult to distinguish life from your job: my job is my life! But at the end of the day TOM is such an extension of all the things I believe in, so I don’t necessarily think that that’s a bad thing. I am passionate about my business and about what we do! I also do lots of yoga, and walking and running with my dogs.

Who inspires you? I love Stella McCartney – she’s an inspiring businesswoman. Her values and beliefs are ingrained in her business philosophy. I love that she doesn’t compromise; that beautiful design and ethically and sustainably sourced materials can go hand in hand. She uses her business and supply chain to help impact the world for the better and that’s something we can all learn from. * For more details visit tomorganic.com.au.

august 2014 | mychild

* 31

ideas

mychild | august 2014

My business Alina Sack is the founder and owner of organic baby brand Ergopouch

lina was keen to create her own business after starting her family and describes her range of award-winning sleeping bags, swaddles and baby pyjamas as “sleep saviours”!

What inspired your designs? My own experiences inspired the designs. I have two boys and both had different sleep issues as babies. With my first, I couldn’t seem to keep him at the right temperature. I tried lots of different sleeping bags, but none worked that well. In particular, they would get tangled up as he was such a wriggler. He would then wake up in a panic as he couldn’t move comfortably. The ErgoPouch came out of lots of prototypes – each one trying to address the ergonomics of baby and toddler sleep. The current design has borrowed from my experience as a designer of sportswear for elite athletes:the stretch panels at the sides and shoulders are similar to the ones you see on cycling apparel. They allow the athletes (or babies!) to twist and move comfortably. The second product I designed was the ErgoCocoon for Alex, my youngest child. I drove myself crazy trying to wrap him so he would be comfortable and secure, and in the end I sewed something, which became the first ErgoCocoon. >

august 2014 | mychild

* 33

ideas | my business

Which product is the closest to your heart and why? The ErgoPouch sleeping bag started it all, so it’s special for that reason.

When was the business created? ErgoPouch officially launched in 2008. Its birth coincided with me becoming a mother and facing the sleep issues which most new mums encounter.

Where are they available? In Australia you can now find our products in around 300 different stores, and we also sell

mychild | august 2014

our full collection from our own website. In addition, we have launched around the world and continue to enter new markets.

What can we expect next? I love coming up with new ideas and thinking of products that could make life easier for busy mothers. I invariably have a couple of innovations that I’m working on at any time. Some make it past the drawing board and some don’t! The best part of my job is seeing our products on the people they were designed for. We love to hear from our customers. * For more information visit ergopouch.com.au.

august 2014 | mychild

* 35

FAMILY

mychild | august 2014

6 good reasons for a home detox Want to build your children’s immune systems and save money in the process? Then throw out all of those chemical-based cleaning products, says environmental engineer Laura Trotta

ike many women in their mid-30s, I grew up in a household where every cleaning task boasted its own cleaning agent. Windex was reserved for mirrors, White Lily for the stovetop, Morning Fresh for washing the dishes, Domestos for the floors, Harpic for scrubbing the toilets, Shower Sparkle for the shower and Handy Andy for the bathroom. Mr Sheen came to the rescue when our wooden furniture required polishing, Mr Muscle made our benches shine, Sard Wonder Spray dissolved stains on our clothes and “You Can’t Wash in that Little Bucket” Dynamo was a powerhouse in our laundry. I didn’t question this way of homemaking until I moved into a share house while studying at university. I simply couldn’t afford the luxury of a designated product for every household cleaning task on my modest casual waitressing wage. Instead, I purchased one or two heavy

duty cleaning products that could handle most of the jobs; the same chlorine-based disinfectant cleaned my floors, toilets and bathroom. It was the mid 1990s and eco cleaning products had yet to hit the market. When eco cleaners started appearing on our supermarket shelves a few years later I had no hesitation purchasing them, even though they were more expensive than the conventional cleaning products. I was suffering from frequent migraines, was eager to break up with using chemicals and these new eco cleaners were a convenient way to achieve this result. I tested many different brands of eco cleaners over a few years, as some were more effective than others, until I realised that over time I had accumulated a separate product for most household cleaning applications again. That didn’t seem particularly eco to me! It was then when I truly started researching >

august 2014 | mychild

* 37

family original green cleaning methods. You know, cleaning methods that were around before chemical cleaners infiltrated our homes. After all, homes were clean before the 1950s and the explosion of home cleaning products, right? I started experimenting with products such as baking soda (sodium bicarbonate), various essential oils, citric acid and white vinegar, and was pleasantly surprised. I loved discovering that I could maintain a clean home using everyday products from my pantry. I am now happy to report that we do not have harsh chemical cleaning products in our

“Giving your home a chemical detox ensures that your children, and you, aren’t participating in an ongoing, large-scale science experiment” home, nor are our cupboards brimming with their eco alternatives. My migraines have gone from a weekly occurrence to a rare event, and our “chemical” cupboards in the kitchen and laundry are almost bare, save for a few natural cleaning products.

Am I anti-chemical? Certainly not! For 11 years I worked as an engineer in heavy industry and recognised first-hand the value of chemicals in processing minerals that have undeniably improved our standard of living beyond our wildest dreams. I firmly believe that chemicals have a place in our modern society. I just believe that this place is in a controlled industrial setting, not in our homes. Strict health and safety policies manage the exposure of industrial workers to chemicals. In a household context, chemicals are often used in and around young children, and this is mainly by women, who may be pregnant or breastfeeding. There is a risk that safety precautions may not be taken at a household

mychild | august 2014

level to the same degree as they would within an industrial setting. Moving to a chemical-free home has many benefits, six of which are outlined below:

Your children won’t be guinea pigs It’s a concerning fact that many of the 40,000 individual chemicals that are permitted for use in Australia have never been assessed by the National Industrial Chemicals Notification and Assessment Scheme, the chemical safety regulator. According to a review by Choice, this is primarily because they were in use prior to 1990. They have been considered safe simply because they’ve been used for a reasonable period of time without known adverse effects, not because detailed testing has approved their safety. Giving your home a chemical detox ensures that your children, and you, aren’t participating in an ongoing, large-scale science experiment.

You will save money It’s a no-brainer that buying different commercial cleaning products for various household tasks adds up financially. A chemical-free home doesn’t mean you stop cleaning your home, it just means that you become a little smarter when selecting the products you use to clean your home. This may involve making your own cleaning products from cheaper, readily available natural products.

Your home will be less cluttered Cleaning without commercial chemicals means having fewer cleaning products to store and we could all do with more cupboard space!

Your children’s immune systems will be stronger Products claiming to kill more than 99 percent of germs have gained in popularity in recent times. The issue with these is that in addition to removing all the bad germs from our homes, they remove the good germs; those that build up our immune

ergobaby ergobaby

systems and are beneficial to our health. As a result, children today who have grown up in sterile, germ-free households are less hardy and have lower resistance to bugs than kids of past generations. It’s one of those examples where advertising has appealed to our desire to provide a clean and safe environment, but in effect, may have caused the opposite.

NEW

Wrap

Chemical-free is kinder to our planet Many modern cleaning agents are made from petrochemicals, which is a non-renewable resource. When you stop and consider that every different product has been manufactured, transported to market, used, flushed down our drains and then, more often than not, the container disposed to landfill, it doesn’t take long to realise that our environment is paying quite a costly price for our love affair with all of these chemicals.

You will reduce your child’s overall chemical load Exposure to chemicals in everyday toxins has been linked to conditions including asthma, eczema, autism, dyslexia and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. By reducing exposure to chemicals in your home, you are lowering your child’s risk of developing such disorders. Kids today are exposed to more chemicals in their everyday environment than at any other time in history. By creating a chemical-free home you can help reduce this burden. You will also go a long way to improving your own health and saving a few dollars along the way and not many people can argue with that! * Laura Trotta is an “ecoceptional” mum, environmental engineer and founder of sustainababy.com.au. She is passionate about helping parents to lead a more sustainable lifestyle. Laura created an eight-week online e-course, the Sustainababy Home Detox Boot Camp, which guides participants through the process of replacing common chemicals with safe, effective and economical natural alternatives. For details visit sustainababy.com.au/ecourse-home-detox.

Wrapped in Love It’s all about the fabric... made from innovative 4D Stretch™ material that flexes equally in four directions, offering unmatched support and comfort. Our ultra-breathable, luxuriously soft cotton provides a calming womb-to-world transition for your baby. Love carries on...

WATCH HOW TO WEAR FROM PREGNANCY TO TODDLER

“The Ergobaby Wrap holds baby firmly against the wearer’s chest, offering excellent head, neck and spinal support. It also distributes baby’s weight evenly for the wearer, which is especially important for new mums with recovering bodies.” Dr Bridie Cullinane - chiropractor and mum

ergobaby.com.au 1300 725 276 august 2014 | mychild 39 ergobaby.co.nz +61 3 6240*4001

FAMILY MATTERS

Do you feel like you’re not enough? Jesper Juul, a family therapist, author of raising competent children and the head of FamilyLab International, counsels Mary, who’s concerned that her son prefers her ex-partner over her

ary has a son, John, who is four. He was only little when Mary separated and now she is struggling because he rejects many of the things she does. Mary cannot control John’s behaviour and he often throws tantrums. She fears taking him out and even dropping him at childcare.

THE COACHING SESSION Jesper Welcome! What is on your mind? Mary My ex and I divorced when John was a baby. At first there was some contact but then my ex left and John didn’t see his father for two years. Lately, they’ve been seeing each other again. But now, John’s behaviour towards me has changed.

mychild | august 2014

Jesper What has that been like? Mary John and his dad bonded very quickly. John normally doesn’t connect well with people so it was odd the way they connected. At the same time, it seems like John doesn’t want to listen to me or do anything I say. Jesper Many parents feel just like you do – regardless of whether or not they are together. Children at that age are only able to express what they want – not what they need. Since John has connected with his father he feels like he doesn’t really want you anymore – although he still needs you. From our research we know that most kids have a special connection with one of their parents. This is not a question of who they >

august 2014 | mychild

* 41

family matters love most or who loves them most. Neither is it about who spends the most time with them. This is simply a question of the child needing to find out how to live. John has a connection with his father. This doesn’t mean that his father needs to “teach” him anything, as this often ends in complete failure. Fathers have a tendency to teach and lecture, but John does not need that. John needs to learn how to live – to absorb knowledge

Children at that age are only able to express what they want – not what they need. Since John has connected with his father he feels like he doesn’t really want you anymore – although he still needs you about life, just like a plant absorbs oxygen. John can do that simply by being with his dad. If I were to translate John’s frustrations, then I would think he is saying, ‘I am missing something!’ My interpretation is that John needs something he isn’t getting. He says, ‘I am missing something and I need it now!’ Then you offer him what you can, which is you! So he says, ‘That’s not what I need!’ This is heartbreaking for you because you are disqualified – not because of who you are but because of who you are not. The issue is not whether John loves his dad. It is about the connection they have. His dad has something special to offer which you can’t. This connection is very important in John’s situation. It is as if he only has one shoe and now he has realised that his dad has the other. Mary I have felt like there was something wrong with me. Jesper I can understand that. But there isn’t anything wrong with you. In fact, many mums feel like that – including those mothers who are in relationships. Mary I’ve also wondered if there is something

mychild | august 2014

wrong with John. He throws tantrums but I can’t do anything about them. Jesper That is the way it is – you cannot do anything. If John spends more time with his father then he will also want more of what you have to offer. When you speak with John’s father about the connection ask him what he intends to do with it. John’s wellbeing depends on how well his father is able to organise his life and be with John. Mary The idea is that John will see his father once or twice a month. Jesper Why is it that they haven’t had a fixed arrangement until now? Mary Because his dad simply left the family. We never saw him and he didn’t stick to the appointments we made. He has a strong will and John is rather like him. He wants to do things his way. Jesper John’s father must make up his mind. For his sake, but also because it is important that John has a mother who is fit and healthy enough to look after him. Mary Well… I haven’t been. I haven’t felt like being with other people. I have felt that John controlled my life and I feared others would think, Why can’t she control him? Sometimes it takes me up to an hour before I can get him to stop screaming if he wants me to sit in another chair or drink from another cup. At childcare he screams and screams, and I feel it is wrong to leave him in that state. Jesper That isn’t wrong at all. The carers know how to do their job. Mary There are conflicts all the time – from early in the morning to late at night. I know I shouldn’t say this, but sometimes I don’t really like John. I hate all the fights. I hate every day. And I know tomorrow will be the same. To cope, I just try to make things bearable. All I can think of is to give in. Jesper No matter what happens in regard to John’s father, I suggest you say to John, ‘I have been deeply saddened by all the fights we are having. So I went to speak with a man about

it. He understands children and he said: “Dad is more important for you than we thought.” He also said: “You do not hate me but you are missing your father and he needs to spend more time with you.”’ It is crucially important that you do not say this in a pedagogical or child-friendly way. Speak to him like you would to a friend. John will either start crying or be extremely happy. In either case his whole body will completely relax. It will be an enormous comfort and relief to John. At the moment, things are a mystery to him too. He’s probably thinking, Why am I so horrible to my mother? She really is a nice person! If we look at his reactions through the eyes of a chef, then John sees his dad as the entrée and the main meal. His mother is the dessert. John is not content with just dessert. He has a strong will – just like his father. It is highly likely that there is a fundamental loneliness inside John’s father and the connection with John will do both of them good. Mary Most importantly, they need to spend time together. I am happy for that to happen because it will be good for both of them. Jesper You might need to prepare yourself for the possibility that John at some stage spends more time with his father than with you. Mary I just want John to be happy but I have felt that he didn’t have an inner balance. Jesper Exactly right. He is lacking a feeling of self-worth. This is serious. I hope his father is prepared to meet the challenge. John needs the connection. It will make him more stable and then he will feel more comfortable with other people as well – including you. This may mean you’ll be able to reclaim your own life. Mary That would be nice. Thank you! * Text by Jesper Juul and Hayes Van Der Meer. Names have been changed. Jesper Juul’s book Raising Competent Children (Rockpool Publishing, $24.99) can be purchased from familylab.com.au. You are also welcome to email info@ familylab.com.au for a special offer. in Eu

rope No.1 , ov be er 50 stse 0,0 ller 00 copie

s so

A new way of developing relationships with children

J ESPER JUUL

Live Cheeki No Excuse for Single Use

Australia’s Leading Brand Of Stainless Steel Lifestyle Products • Premium Grade Stainless Steel • No inside lining • Toxic free inks Stainless steel has never looked this Cheeki. Best of all our products are healthy, environmentally friendly and cost effective. See our website for full range of water bottles, insulated bottles, flasks, shakers, food jars, coffee cups and baby bottles. Available at leading Healthfood stores, Pharmacies and Homeware stores.

www.cheeki.net.au facebook.com/cheekistainlesssteelaugust 2014 | mychild

* 43

fashion

Behind the brand Creative director and mum of two Sharon Chim from maternity, nursing wear and babywear store Queen Bee explains the ins and outs of her online business

n accountant by profession who admits to a love of bank reconciliations – believe it or not! – Sharon launched Queen Bee in 2005, six months after the birth of her first son, Mitchell. ‘I decided not to return to my position in accounting as I wanted to be with Mitchell every moment as soon as I saw his face,’ she explains. ‘I knew I needed to do something where I could stay at home with him. As I was breastfeeding, I was always on the lookout for stylish nursing wear. There wasn’t much around in Australia at the time so I started the online store. I could never have imagined it would grow so big so quickly. What I thought would be a small home-based business grew into something much more.’

About the collection Sharon says Queen Bee stocks the largest range of stylish maternity wear in Australia. ‘We have been dressing pregnant ladies since May 2005 so we really know what they’re after,’ she explains. ‘We stock the latest maternity fashion with new arrivals weekly, and have

mychild | august 2014

lots of exclusive pieces that you won’t find anywhere else. Our focus is on quality and excellent customer service with fast express shipping. The site’s blog is updated weekly with helpful tips and style advice, too.’

The business side of things As the creative director, Sharon is mainly responsible for the design of the website along with the marketing and advertising. She also does some of the purchasing and liaising with new suppliers and on top of that has control over all of the company’s finances. ‘We have a great team and I am so thankful for everyone’s commitment to the company,’ Sharon says. ‘My sister Karen joined us as e-commerce director in 2009 and my brother, Colin, now manages the warehouse. We have a passionate team of mums who help with the packing, a reliable accounts manager and lovely Catherine manages the office. ‘We also have a lot of people who work off site in various roles including dedicated virtual assistants who we have used for years and are so reliable and trustworthy.’ >

“We stock the latest maternity fashion with new arrivals weekly, and have lots of exclusive pieces you won’t find anywhere else” august 2014 | mychild

* 45

fashion | behind the brand

“The whole reason for starting Queen Bee was so I could spend more time with my boys in their early years and I’m so lucky that I’ve been able to do this”

SHARON’S BUSINESS TIP

I would strongly advise doing a small business course first with some form of accounting module. It will always be useful whatever you decide to do, and will help you to make the right decisions as you grow.

View Queen Bee’s Spring/Summer 20

Visit facebook.com/queenbeematernity a

mychild | august 2014

Now that Queen Bee is in its ninth year of business, Sharon says managing growth in the e-commerce environment has been one of the company’s most challenging issues. ‘The digital world is changing daily and I believe you thoroughly need to embrace change and use the latest technology to your advantage,’ she says. ‘We use social media and various forms of online advertising to market Queen Bee but without a doubt our best marketing has just been through word of mouth – with ladies spreading the word about our store among friends and relatives, which has been so rewarding.’

Family life Being a mother to Mitchell and Koby, now aged nine and six respectively, Sharon loves everything about being a mumpreneur. She says, ‘Being able to drop my boys to school in the morning and pick them up most afternoons has been amazing. I work in the office two to three days per week and can attend to errands on the other days. The whole reason for starting Queen Bee was so I could spend more time with my boys in their early years and I’m so lucky that I’ve been able to do this.’

Future endeavours In the future Sharon plans to expand the company’s range even more with new unique designers, a few new innovative products for pregnancy that they’ve discovered and also more babywear. *

014/15 collections at queenbee.com.au.

and instagram.com/queenbeematernity.

august 2014 | mychild

* 47

FASHIOn

spring fling get set for days filled with warm sun, gentle breezes and the scent of freshly cut grass with newly picked pieces

mychild | august 2014

THIS PAGE: Mini Girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; range 0-3 by River Island au.riverisland.com

august 2014 | mychild

* 49

fashion

5 9

7 7

1| sun hat $24.95 XXS-M by Bebe

2| top $29.95 0-24m by Country Road

minihaha.com.au

countryroad.com.au

0-5 by Billabong billabong.com.au

4| Sandals $49.95 26-34 by Clarks

5| Mermaid Top $26.99 12-18m to 6 by Pumpkin Patch

6| kaftan $88 2-14 by Coco and Ginger

clarks.com.au

pumpkinpatch.com.au

cocoandginger.com

7| Pants $39.99 0-5 by Billabong

8| Shorts $29.95 00-2 by Plum

9| Mary Janes $29.95 12-36 by Walnut Melbourne

billabong.com.au

plumcollections.com.au

walnutmelbourne.com

mychild | august 2014

3| talle Top $29.99

SHOP NEW ARRIVALS >

10% OFF QUEENBEE.COM.AU *

APPLY CODE MYCHILD10 AT THE CHECKOUT *SEE WEBSITE FOR TERMS & CONDITIONS OFFER ENDS 31•08•14

* FREE EXPRESS SHIPPING FOR ORDERS OVER $50 august 2014 | mychild

FASHIOn

SET SAIL Anchors away! This month, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re mad about nautical. Say hello to bold red, blue and white stripes with deep navy contrasts

mychild | august 2014

THIS PAGE: tank $28.50, TEE $29.95 and shorts BOTH $44.95 0-8 by Hootkid hootkid.com

june 2014 | mychild

* 53

fashion

6 4 5 9 7

1| Rashie $39.95 2-10 by Fox & Finch

2| Tee $39.95 6-14 by Tahlia

minihaha.com.au

by Beautiful Soles beautifulsoles.com.au

4| bow shorts $34.95 2-7 by Mooce

5| SneakerS $49.99 6-13 by Crocs

6| Skort $16.95 0-24m by Liâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;l Zippers

mooce.com.au

crocsaustralia.com.au

lilzippers.com.au

7| Rex Shoes $44.95 4-12 by Clarks

8| Romper $34.95 0000-0 by Plum

9| Skater Dress $49.99 5-13 by Pumpkin Patch

clarks.com.au

plumcollections.com.au

pumpkinpatch.com.au

mychild | august 2014

3| Fedora Hat $19.95

growing babies organically. Made with love for your baby, the nature baby range always respects the best ethical and environmental practices. With a fresh modern take on all the essentials you will need for your baby, our range includes 100% certified organic cotton and merino wool baby clothing, sleepwear and bedding. A luxurious botanical skincare range for mothers and babies and unique toys to inspire the imagination.

www.naturebaby.com.au

1800 240 358 june 2014 | mychild

* 55

FASHIOn

mychild | august 2014

PEACHES & CREAM tuck into the “it” shade of the season as whimsical items speak softly of sherbet and sorbet – with a side of cream, please!

THIS PAGE: spring/summer 2014 range 4-14 by Pale Cloud pale-cloud.com

august 2014 | mychild

* 57

fashion

1| Skirt $39.95 0-24m by Peggy

2| Sandals $69.95 10-5 by Clarks

peggy.com.au

clarks.com.au

2-14 by Missie Munster munsterkids.com.au

4| Bodysuit $34.95 0000-0 by Plum

5| Dress $59.95 3-7 by Ouch Clothing

6| Tie Front Top $34.99 5-12 by Pumpkin Patch

plumcollections.com.au

ouchclothing.com.au

pumpkinpatch.com.au

7| Skinny Jeans $54.95 2-14 by Havoc Denim

8| Singlet $49.95 6-14 by Tahlia

9| Ballerina sHOEs $29.99 1-13 by Pumpkin Patch

havocdenim.com

minihaha.com.au

pumpkinpatch.com.au

mychild | august 2014

3| Shorts from $69.95

august 2014 | mychild

* 59

SHOPPING COMPARE

mychild | august 2014

pack it in Kids can munch anD crunch in style with these cool and quirky lunchbox options

THIS PAGE: dabbawalla Monkey See Monkey Do $30 haggusandstookles.com.au

august 2014 | mychild

* 61

shopping compare | lunchboxes

YUMBOX Pomme Green $34.95 minihippoimports.com.au

BLACK AND BLUM Bento $32.95 yellowoctopus.com.au

LUNCHBOTS Duo $22.51 sustainababy.com.au

OLULA Sandwich bag $22.47 etsy.com

THE MONSTER FACTORY VW Camper Van $47.90 thedesigngiftshop.com

BLAFRE Tractor $35 babydonkie.com.au

SKIP HOP Snack Bag Set $21.95 davidjones.com.au

BEATRIX NY Dieter Monkey in Space $39.95 beatrixny.com.au

BOBBLE ART Babushka $24.95 bobbleart.com.au

GOOIE Dino $34.99 gooie.com.au

PENNY SCALLAN Chirpy Bird $29.95 pennyscallan.com.au

FRIDGE-TO-GO Medium cooler $35.95 fridge-to-go.net.au

GOODBYN Bynto $18.95 biome.com.au

OOPS Take Away Owl $24.95 cnpbrands.com.au

mychild | august 2014

BUILT Big Apple Buddies SO YOUNG $29.95 haggusand Orange Daisy $20 stookles.com.au minihippoimports.com.au

To get them through the day Fantastic range of drink bottles and lunch boxes to keep food cold and fresh

haggusandstookles.com.au

august 2014 | mychild

* 63

Original Logos:

LET BUMBLERIDE NAVIGATE YOU TO YOUR NEXT DESTINATION, BUMPS AND ALL Equipped with the proper construction and ergonomics, Bumblerideâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all-terrain strollers are tailored to give your child a comfortable ride across every surface.

New Logo 1:

CAYENNE RED

AQUAMARINE

FOG GREY

TWIN New Logo 2: PRAM & ACCESSORIES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE

mychild | august 2014

www.bumbleride.com.au

JET BLACK

INTERIORS REPORT

Olivia Rose cot set from $195 by Petit petit.com.au

Soft spot mix ultra-girly interiors with a delicately feminine colour palette such as greys and pinks to create a room that is every little girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; dream august 2014 | mychild

* 65

interiors | report

1 2

5 6

7 9

12 10 11

GET THE LOOK 1

Shaggy Rag rug $295

by My First Room myfirstroom.com.au

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Nina bean Bag $295 by Littlephant littlepiestreet.com.au

Alhede Rug $139 by Ikea ikea.com.au

nextime diy Clock $22.95 by Micky & Stevie mickyandstevie.com.au

Bon Bon $149.95 by Lucky Boy Sunday littlepiestreet.com.au

Scottie Dogs Paper Cut Design $69.95 by Almond Tree Designs almondtreeframes.com.au

Pinocchio Hat Stand $550 by Lilly & Lolly lillylolly.com.au

Clouds Cot BlankeT $59.95 by Little Bonbon littlebonbon.com.au

Storage Box $54.95 by SNE Design norsu.com.au

Chester Armchair $770 by Strut Living strutliving.com.au

Abby the Elephant Bookend $74.95 by Zuny zuny.com.au

Sweet Pea Stool $229 by Strut Living strutliving.com.au

Kili Cot and Junior Bed ÂŁ699 by Nubie nubie.co.uk

Deer Quilt cover set $100 by By Nord norsu.com.au

Interiors MY SPACE

mychild | august 2014

Seeing stars Three-year-old Chloe Oliver’s gorgeous room was created by her talented mother, Katherine. Nicola Conville reports

atherine Oliver had a ball putting together her daughter Chloe’s beautiful bedroom and she is now helping other mothers with styling and sourcing for their children’s bedrooms.

What was your inspiration? I wanted Chloe’s room to be fun, colourful and pretty (but not overly girly) – something cool that wasn’t babyish and would grow with Chloe. For example, with the doona cover (it’s from Cotton On Kids) I wanted one that was simple and didn’t have to be updated often. The stars are timeless and colour was added through cushions and toys.

What about timing and budget? No set budget was allocated but I’m known for being a bit of a bargain queen. I basically waited until Chloe was out of her cot and into her big bed to finalise it all. I had collected things over time, such as the pictures, frames and shelves. Once she moved into the bed – just a couple of weeks before her third birthday in April – I put it all together. >

august 2014 | mychild

* 69

interiors | my space

• The stars are timeless and colour was added through cushions and toys

• I wanted Chloe’s room to be fun, colourful and pretty (but not overly girly)

mychild | august 2014

• I had collected things over time, such as the pictures, frames and shelves

Do you have a design mantra? My design mantra is probably clean design crossed with pops of colour.

“gumballs” metal sign, her doona cover from Cotton On Kids, her replica Eames armchair and the cushion combo from Belle & Boo.

Does chloe enjoy her room?

Which are your favourite shops?

She does love her room. It’s kind of interactive for her – she likes to switch around all the little toys in the compartments of the little white “house”, and the bookshelves next to the bed are at her height so she can choose books to read but were also placed that way so she can pack them away herself.

Cotton On Kids for clothes and homewares, Belle & Boo for framed pictures, as well as the cushion and a quilt (Mandy is super cool and does the best illustrations) and I love scouring Vinnies – a few of the framed prints in the room have been taken from old books.

What’s next? At this point it’s done for now – no plans to evolve for a while. I feel like it’s grown-up enough for it to last the way it is for several years to come.

What are your favourite pieces? My favourite pieces are her Chloe print, which was illustrated by my friend Inga, her Typo

Any tips for parents-to-be on decorating a child’s room? My tip would be keep it simple and clean, and add colour through things like cushions, toys and blankets. That way, when your children grow, you can change the small things over, which will save you money too. * Follow Katherine on Instagram at @hellokoandco or email her at hellokoandco@gmail.com. Also see cottononkids.com.au and belleandboo.com.

august 2014 | mychild

* 71

PARTY

mychild | august 2014

Toy story Leonardo just loves Toy Story and so his mum Daisy kelvin, owner of party styling company Leo & Bella, designed this inspired theme for his fourth birthday party

august 2014 | mychild

* 73

party

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I booked a baker to create a Toy-Story themed cake and cupcakes and also had cookies as party favoursâ&#x20AC;? 74

mychild | august 2014

• Leo’s invitation was designed by Ham & Pea

• Existing toys worked as decorations

eo is a keen fan of all the Toy Story movies, and after a trip to the magical world of Disneyland just one month before his birthday he was determined to have a Toy Story theme for his party.

What was your budget?

How did you begin the planning process?

Tell us about the key elements

I started by researching Toy Story-themed parties on the internet. I enlisted the help of an invitation company to design the invitations and stationery for the party, booked a baker to create a Toy Story-themed cake and cupcakes, and also had cookies, which showed the bottom of Woody’s shoes with Leo written on them, as party favours. The whole thing took about oneand-a-half weeks to pull together.

My budget was around $1,600. The party was being held in May so we had it indoors and it included a party entertainer and also catering for the adults. We had 26 guests altogether.

We used a lot of existing toys as decorations and simple elements from the movie such as alphabet blocks and crayons as centrepieces. For the dessert table large boxes were used to recreate a big alphabet block and I placed all the desserts on them. I personalised the water bottles so they read To Infinity and Beyond Water. I also took a small milk bottle and dressed it up with twine and a personalised sleeve to make it a “Woody” chocolate milk. The kids were >

august 2014 | mychild

* 75

party

• Personalised To Infinity and Beyond Water

very excited to see their names on their place settings and they enjoyed colouring in the Toy Story characters.

Do you have any advice? Choose a theme that your child is interested in. Get in contact with suppliers four to six months in advance so you are organised. Buy your party ware around two to three months beforehand so everything arrives with plenty of time to spare. Keep it simple and don’t go overboard with ideas!

So what’s next? We actually just wrapped up Leo’s fifth birthday a couple of weeks ago, which had an Octonauts theme! The Octonauts is a fun and educational

mychild | august 2014

• Large boxes were used for the dessert table

children’s show and we have given it our own special take rather than creating a commercial themed party. * To contact Daisy from Leo & Bella, phone 0438 733 088, email daisy@leoandbella.com.au or visit the website at leoandbella.com.au. Invitations and stationery were from hamandpea.com, the cake from kissmycakes.com, desserts from sutsa.com.au and cookies from madeit.com.au/dessertmenuplease.

DAISY’S PARTY TIP

Consider using a professional photographer so you can sit and relax and enjoy the day with your friends and family, and also be in some of the photographs.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;The kids were very excited to see their names on their place settings and enjoyed colouring in the Toy Story charactersâ&#x20AC;?

august 2014 | mychild

* 77

COOKING

Rise & shine! Are you Looking for some bright, fresh ideas for breakfast for your family? Try these tasty morning treats from Stacey Deutscher at A Healthy Mum

BAKED EGG & AVOCADO PREP TIME 1 minute

COOKING TIME 15 minutes

SERVES 1

INGREDIENTS 1 avocado 2 eggs METHOD • Preheat oven to 220°C. • Cut avocado in half, remove seed and crack 1 egg into each of the avocado holes that have been left by the disregarded seed. • Roast in warm oven for 15 minutes or until the whites of the eggs are solid and the yolk is cooked to your liking.

TO SERVE • If preferred, sprinkle chilli flakes and salt and pepper on top. • With toast and grilled mushrooms.

mychild | august 2014

Stacey is a mum of one who is dedicated to developing and sharing healthy and easy-to-make recipes that the whole family can enjoy. She is currently studying to be a health coach with a major emphasis on nutrition for mothers and children. To find out more go to ahealthymum.com, email stace@ahealthymum.com or head to facebook.com/ahealthymumpage.

august 2014 | mychild

* 79

cooking

SMEET OMELETTE PREP TIME 5 minutes

COOKING TIME 5 minutes

INGREDIENTS 5 eggs 5 tbsp almond meal 3 tbsp desiccated coconut 1 tbsp vanilla bean essence coconut oil, for frying 2 bananas, thinly sliced 8 medium strawberries, thinly sliced 1 /2 cup of yoghurt

SERVES 4

METHOD • Whisk together the eggs, almond meal, desiccated coconut and vanilla bean essence until it forms a thick batter. • Heat a little coconut oil in a non-stick frypan over medium heat and pour a quarter of the mix into the pan. Cook until golden brown. • Continue cooking the remaining quarters of the mix until all omelettes are made.

TO SERVE • Cut the cooked omelette into strips and serve alongside the fruit and yoghurt.

mychild | august 2014

Coconut Quinoa Porridge with Pears PREP TIME 5 minutes

COOKING TIME 15 minutes

INGREDIENTS 2 /3 cup tri-coloured quinoa 1 cup coconut cream plus 3/4 cup, for serving 3 /4 cup water 1 whole vanilla bean, seeds removed and saved 2 pears 1 tsp coconut sugar 2 tbsp pumpkin seeds 2 tbsp shredded coconut 6 tbsp kefir

SERVES 4

METHOD • Rinse the quinoa then add to a medium-heat saucepan with 1 cup of coconut cream, the water and the husk of the vanilla bean. Cook for around 15 minutes or until tender and all the liquid is absorbed. • Meanwhile, cut the pears into quarters, dust with the coconut sugar then fry in a warm, greased frypan until caramelised. • Stir through the remaining ingredients into the quinoa mix.

TO SERVE • Place in a bowl with the caramelised pears on top.

my child promotion

For your chance to win one of sev valued at Receive My Child magazine direct to your inbox every month! Our new digital format allows you to interact with informative articles, discover great shopping and fashion trends, and read and share inspiring stories, party ideas and more â&#x20AC;&#x201C; all with just the click of a button. Better still, by signing up to our free digital issue you have the chance to win one of seven comfy Woolbabe duvet sleeping bags worth $149 each! While most other bags are filled with a synthetic

mychild | august 2014

polyester or cotton filling, the duvet sleeping bag uses quilted wool filling for temperature regulation and warmth. They can be used in temperatures of 14 to 22Â°C by varying the clothing inside the bag, and are made from a merino and cotton blend. The sleeping bags are available in both front- or side-zip styles, as well as a front zip with sleeves option. They come in a range of soft colours and are suitable for children from three months to four years. See thesleepstore.com.au for more details.

FOR FREE!

ven Woolbabe duvet sleeping bags t $149 each

CLICK HERE to SIGN UP

• ENJOY Australia’s best parenting mag • DELIVERY straight to your inbox

• SHARE with family & friends • NEVER miss out on a great read!

Terms & conditions Prizes will be sent by post approximately six weeks after this offer closes on August 22 2014. In the instance where a prize company forecloses or is unable to fulfil a prize commitment, My Child will not be held liable for reimbursements in the form of cash or subsidiary prizes. These circumstances fall outside the bounds of My Child’s responsibility as the giveaway promoter. If your details are not provided for prize fulfilment within five working days of notification of win, your prize will be forfeited.

august 2014 | mychild

* 83

MY CHILD PROMOTION

WHAT’S IN STORE What a relief Soothe and relieve sore and cracked nipples experienced during breastfeeding with Rite Aid Hydrogel Breast Discs. Available in a 12 pack for $7.99, the discs are cool and moist to heal broken skin. For a full list of stockists or to find out more, visit riteaid.com.au.

Snot on Australia’s first and only portable, batteryoperated nasal aspirator, Snotty One, is ergonomically designed and convenient for parents. Providing you with constant suction, it is stronger than a normal aspirator and is priced at $74.95. Check out snotty.com.au.

Drink up Priced at $16.95, Canpol Babies’ non-spill cup promotes independent drinking from nine months of age onwards. It can store up to 250ml of liquid and features an Anywayup valve designed to prevent spilling. The cup is available online at papenboo.com.au.

Pure wipes WaterWipes are the world’s purest baby wipe and are now available in Australia for $6.99. Moistened with purified water and fruit extract, these wipes will help your bub be free from nappy rash and skin conditions such as eczema. See waterwipes.com.au.

mychild | august 2014

Seeing double

Snack attack

This Mountain Buggy pram is the superior way to move around with your bub. Priced at $749, this compact buggy can go from a single to a double and is suitable from birth to four years and suits twins or siblings. See mountainbuggy.com for more details.

The Squooshi Reusable Food Pouch packs, from $21.95 for a pack of four, are great for a growing appetite. Conveniently BPA free, these 130ml pouches are ideal for a toddler snack or in a school lunch box. Head over to moowoo.com.au to purchase.

Cheeky monkey Introducing the Minimonkey Dynamic Baby Carrier, $159.90, inspired by Mother Nature. Bearing the weight on your hips, back and abdomen, the carrier is suitable up to the age of three. Check out kiekaboo.com.au.

Sleep soundly Ultimate Sleepâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s range of Fossflake junior pillows is specifically designed for children from 18 months of age. Suitable for allergy sufferers, they are a synthetic equivalent to feather and down. The My First Pillow, $24.95, is available at ultimatesleep.com.au.

august 2014 | mychild

* 85

NEWS

MUM’S WELLBEING

Echinacea in small doses

Echinacea has been shown to reduce the length and severity of colds, but don’t take this herb as a preventative, says naturopath and doctor Dan Labriola. It works by stimulating the body to create more white blood cells to fight off infection. If you use echinacea continuously, however, you will run your immune system down and end up with more colds and flu.

Lanolin-free nipple cream

While medical-grade lanolin can provide great relief to sore nipples, some women may find they are allergic to this ingredient, which is derived from the wool of sheep, while questions over purity and ethics leave others such as vegans searching for an alternative. There is also a chance of residual pesticides secreted through the sheep’s skin in lower-grade lanolin products. If you are looking for a non-lanolin product, Gaia Skin Naturals’ new nipple balm, $12.95, is made from organic edible plant oils (sunflower, avocado and carrot) so doesn’t have to be washed off before feeding, and won’t go hard in the cold. Visit gaiaskinnaturals. com.au for more information.

mychild | august 2014

Perfectly Floored

Boost your fitness and strengthen crucial muscles with the Pelvic Floor First app by the Continence Foundation of Australia. Start out with a 30-minute workout and build up to longer sessions of low-impact exercise routines designed by a physiotherapist with your pelvic floor in mind. The Pelvic Floor First app is available on the App Store and Google Play. For more details see pelvicfloorfirst.org.au.

DOWNLOAD: Pinky’s FREE Ebook “Making More Mummy Milk Naturally”

Mama love

As mothers we spend most of our energy caring for, supporting and worrying about others. No wonder we sometimes need a little spiritual pick-me-up! Happy Mama affirmation cards, $29, can give you a moment of self-love in the midst of the baby daze. They’re available from seekactlove.com.

www.boobiebikkies.com.au

Want More Mummy Milk? I woke up in the middle of the night to find my boobs were trying to take over the world! I actually had to wake little Max to relieve me of some milk... Meryl, Sydney

Created by Pinky McKay, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant and best-selling Baby care author, Boobie Bikkies – all natural and organic ‘superfood’ cookies are rich in nutrients to boost your energy and support a healthy breast milk supply.

ys a w 7 TO GET

MORE SLEEP 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Talk to your family about your sleep needs. Forget the chores; sleep when your child sleeps. Say yes to offers of help. Say no to extra commitments (for now). Leave your devices in the living room. Set a regular bedtime and stick to it. Remember, sleep is not a luxury, it’s a requirement!

Boobie Bikkies Just Grab and Go

NEW GLUTEN & DAIRY FREE Individually wrapped cookies now come in 3 delicious flavours:

• Organic Oat and Vanilla • Organic Oat, Orange and Cinnamon • Coconut, Date & Seed (Gluten & Dairy Free) Try Boobie Bikkies today! Grab a free sample at www.boobiebikkies.com.au

Order Online at www.boobiebikkies.com.au and use coupon code MYCHILDAUG for free postage! Coupon valid until 20 August 2014. Not valid for samples or subscriptions.

august 2014 | mychild

* 87

news | mum’s wellbeing

Does red meat cause cancer? A new US study at the Harvard School of Public Health has found the incidence of breast cancer to be higher in women who ate more red meat. Although the large, longitudinal study does not prove cause and effect, it is yet another mark against the great Aussie steak – previous research has linked higher red-meat intakes with bowel and stomach cancers. However, red meat is a key source of iron, which is essential for women

to have during their childbearing years, so it’s not advisable to cut this protein source from your diet altogether. The recommendation is for 65g cooked or 90 to 100g uncooked red meat per day. You may also want to speak to your doctor about your current iron requirements. Remember that fish and chicken are also sources of iron, as are beans and lentils, dark-green leafy vegetables and iron-fortified breads and cereals.

To give blood phone 13 95 96 or visit donateblood.com.au

mychild | august 2014

written By jo hegerty

Every year 4,800 women giving birth require blood transfusions

PHOTOGRAPHY BY Nicole Proy of Mockingbird Photography

The

T H IN K ING WOM ANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S website

For Conception, Pregnancy, Birth and Baby

august 2014 | mychild

* 89

MUMMY BLOGGERS

Reality check Reading blogs is a great way to discover what other mothers’ lives are really like. Each month we feature mummy blogs of all kinds so read on to find your favourites to follow. Hannah Saunders reports How did you first get into blogging?

HUGZILLA

I started blogging in 2004 when it was a littleknown niche subculture for nerds and wannabe writers. Hugzilla started in 2013 after the birth of my kids and the blogosphere had exploded into this massive mainstream phenomenon. Way before that I was publishing fanzines the old-fashioned way. I’ve always been a writer.

A mum of two boys – four-year-old James and two-year-old Mark – Melissa Hugzilla and her partner live in the Blue Mountains, west of Sydney in New South Wales. Her blog address is hugzillablog.wordpress.com.

How do you find the time?

Tell us about your blog

What do you love about blogging?

Hugzilla is the anti-mummy blog. I do honesty. Blunt honesty. Funny honesty. I cringe at the saccharine “mummy mythologising” I see: the cliched garbage about loving every moment, worshipping your children’s poop, sacrificing everything and being a martyr. That’s just not me. I’m selfish. My kids annoy me. I hate being a mum sometimes. A lot of it is tedious and frustrating but we are fed all this backslapping garbage about how wonderful it is all the time. Nothing is wonderful all the time – except maybe chocolate.

I love cracking stupid jokes that make my friends laugh. I love making fun of myself. I love the adrenalin rush that comes from writing a really great post then having lots of people comment and share it via social media.

mychild | august 2014

I have no idea, to be honest. I work from home as a freelance writer after the kids are in bed at night so I have to squeeze blogging around that as well. I wish I had more time for it.

Any advice for beginners? Don’t overthink it. Go to WordPress. Set up a free blog. Start typing. Have fun.

Which is your favourite post? Things I never knew before having children.

What do you love about blogging? I love the connections I’ve made with other people – most I’ve never met but I feel as though I have. Having someone tell me how much of an impression my post has had on them makes it all worthwhile.

THE MULTITASKING MUMMY

Based in Ipswich, Qld, and married to Gavin, Eva Lewis is mum to Elliott, two-and-a-half. Her blog is at themultitaskingmummy.com.

Tell us about your blog The blog started its life in July 2012 because I was pulling my hair out being at home with nothing stimulating to do. Becoming a careerwoman-turned-stay-at-home mum was a tough move for me. Over time the blog has grown and is now a place where I enjoy connecting with other mums by openly sharing my personal and parenting journeys, experiences and emotions, as well as tips and ideas, which other mums find useful and can relate to. My blog doesn’t just represent me – it represents all mothers who juggle life and parenting. It’s about being the best mum you can be even through the tough times. It’s not about being a domestic goddess or parenting expert, it’s about parenting your own way and with your own style, and I aim to promote this through a very candid writing style.

How do you find the time? I’m lucky that I am able to have my son in daycare once a week so I can focus on my blog and other writing projects, but my rule is not to do any blog work while he is awake. During the day it’s about going to the park, playgroups, play centres or meeting with friends. I try to make the most of his daytime sleeps to write, but I know these sleeps aren’t going to last for much longer. I also do a lot of writing at night and tend to stay up much too late sometimes.

Any advice for beginners? Join blogging groups and Facebook groups within your blogging niche. It’s the easiest and quickest way to learn from experienced bloggers and promote your blog.

Which is your favourite blog post? I’m no longer banking my brownie points.

MUMMY, WIFE, ME

Renee Wilson and her husband, David, have two daughters, aged four and 21 months. She lives in Brisbane, Qld, and her blog address is mummywifeme.com.

Tell us about your blog Mummy, Wife, Me is a personal blog about my life as a mummy, wife and a woman on a journey of rediscovery. I write about juggling the various roles in my life while not losing sight of me.

How did you first get into blogging? On maternity leave the second time around, I felt trapped in a mummy fog. I was a zombie moving through the motions of life and felt I had lost sight of me. I yearned for a creative outlet and for something special I could call my own. I’ve always loved writing and am an open book, so blogging was a natural progression – the something special I was looking for. >

august 2014 | mychild

* 91

mummy bloggers

How do you find the time? Working part-time and raising two young kids doesn’t leave me with a lot of time. I steal a few hours most mornings before anyone wakes and then do the bulk of my blogging in the evenings after the kids have gone to bed.

What do you love about blogging? Oooh, there are so many things. I guess my favourite would be when I receive an email from a reader telling me that they can relate to what I’ve written. I can’t describe how amazing it is to know that my words have touched someone and made them feel like they are not alone.

Any advice for beginners? Before I leapt into the blogosphere I jotted down why I wanted to blog, it’s purpose, it’s theme, my objectives and the target audience. This has helped me stay on track throughout my blogging career and stay true to myself.

Which is your favourite blog post? I’ll share the most popular post to date: Where have my boobs gone?

I also share products and experiences that help make the lives of families happier and healthier. I have a keen focus on supporting small and local businesses, as well as parents who have found their niche and passion.

How did you first get into blogging? As a deputy principal in a primary school I have always had a passion for technology in education. I’ve blogged for a long time in the area of contemporary education and a friend suggested I create a family blog to document our journey. It started with snippets about being a mum and has just grown from there!

How do you find the time? I blog across many social platforms: website, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest. I try to post on my web blog at least twice a week, and every day on the other sites. Lately, I’ve been posting when I find a spare moment, and even find myself posting photos and links to Instagram and Facebook during night-time feeds! Like all bloggers, I just try to do it when I can! Instagram is my current favourite way to engage with my audience and share what I’m currently thinking about.

What do you love about blogging? I love sharing ideas, experiences and precious moments with my readers. I also love getting their advice and recommendations. We all help each other, and I couldn’t be a mum without their assistance!

HAPPY ELLA AFTER

Any advice for beginners?

Kate Korber and her husband, Daniel, have two children, two-year-old Ella and Hudson, who is two months old. They call Melbourne, Vic, home and you can connect with Kate via happyellaafter.com.

The motto “content is king” always rings true! Write content that you are passionate about. Follow bloggers who inspire you and don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve.

Tell us about your blog

It’s a recent one: A letter to my former (pregnant) self. It was a reflection on advice I would give to myself before having my first child.

My blog focuses on my experiences behind the mayhem, milestones and magic of motherhood.

mychild | august 2014

Which is your favourite blog post?

What do you love about blogging?

BUSY MAMA BEE

Busymamabee.com blogger Nelinda Vega and her husband, Marcelo, live in Brisbane, Qld, and their twins, Vincent and Vivian, are two and a half years old.

Tell us about your blog It’s a lighthearted look at the all joys of twin rearing and sleep envy. In my mind everyone else has calmer babies who sleep better and aren’t as crazy as mine. It’s always a relief to hear back from my readers that I’m not the only one to have full-of-crazy-beans toddlers who are intent on making their mama slightly demented. My posts are always bite sized so even the busiest mama can enjoy them before investigating why her little darlings seem to have suddenly gone quiet.

I have terrible “twins-stole-my brain-itis” and I am on this incredibly frustrating but rewarding journey that I don’t want to forget. Blogging is like an online journal, a journal that I share so I know I’m not the only one with sleep envy and one that I can look back on with my rosetinted glasses and think, Yep, I survived that!

Any advice for beginners? Write for yourself. It takes a while before you have an audience so if you’re writing for any other reason, you’ll lose motivation quickly. Another big tip is to join a blogging community. Bloggers don’t just write, they love reading blogs too and it’s a great way to build your audience while reading some quality writing.

Which is your favourite blog post? My favourite post is Why is there a tent in my living room? My husband (aka The Papa Bear) is great with our twins but it goes without saying that his twin rearing is different to mine.

How did you first get into blogging? I love writing and I especially love writing about my twins so blogging was a natural progression for me. The only difference was that everything I write is now public. That was a mindbender for me. In the beginning I was too worried about what others would think but now that I have been doing it for a while, I’m more confident about why I write.

How do you find the time? By the time I sit down and type my post, it’s already half-finished in my head. If something has happened that is crazier than normal, my brain is working overtime doing a rough draft. My toddlers give me lots of material to work with. I normally type up my posts once they’re in bed. It helps that my posts are bite sized!

SUNNY COAST KIDS

Based, of course, on the Sunshine Coast of Queensland, sunnycoastkids.com.au is written by Lara Hodgson. She and her hubby Charles have two boys, seven-year-old Spencer and Hawker, four.

Tell us about your blog It’s a family resource, full of information that families want, news, product reviews, articles, competitions and events. You don’t have to live on the Sunshine Coast to use our website; it’s full of information that anyone can use. What is unique about us is that we are a >

august 2014 | mychild

* 93

mummy bloggers media company and use our local connections to provide information that affects families in our local area.

How did you first get into blogging? I had recently had my second son and knew I wasn’t going back to work any time soon. I was also looking for something to occupy my time. Then one day I was trying to find some school holiday information in my area. Everyone was offering great school holiday fun but no-one was collating it into one easy-to-find spot. So I launched Sunny Coast Kids. It then grew into a media website thanks to my husband who’s worked in IT and was then doing local news as an all-in-one reporter, publisher and editor. He helped get it off the ground – designing our site and launching it as a family media website.

How do you find the time? I work when the kids are at school or in bed and a little after school and before dinner.

What do you love about blogging? I like being able to provide answers to questions families have like: Where is the nearest park? What is the best product for such and such? Or who is the best dentist in our area? I have always liked customer service and this is doing that on a large scale. I have had some wonderful feedback from families who use the site about how informative it is and how quick and easy it is to use. I like helping people.

Any advice for beginners? Just go for it and be yourself. But do research your area and make sure that it’s not already a flooded market. Be unique and it will set you apart. Don’t try to copy what someone else is already doing unless you can make it bigger and better, otherwise you will only make it hard on yourself and you won’t enjoy it.

[http://sunnycoastkids.com.au/news/fivethings-i-didnt-know-before-havingboys/32190/]

HONEY BEE BOOKS

Melissa Squire and her husband, Matthew, have two kids: James, six, and Emily, four. Melissa writes her blog honeybeebooksblog.blogspot.com.au from her home in Canberra, ACT.

Tell us about your blog I am passionate about reading and helping my kids discover the wonder and magic of books through engaging story-time sessions and fun book-inspired craft and play activities. I share our adventures on my blog and hope to provide parents with ideas to help them bring a story to life and make reading fun for their children.

How did you first get into blogging? I started after the birth of my second child. We spend a lot of time reading some amazing kids’ books and I found the blog was a great way to record and share our reading adventures.

How do you find the time? My younger daughter is at home with me during the day while my son is at school and she keeps my day full of play, so I blog mostly at night after the kids have gone to bed.

What do you love about blogging? I love the flexibility it provides, as I can blog whenever it suits, and the connections I’ve made. I have been fortunate enough to meet some amazing authors and illustrators who continue to inspire me through their work.

Any advice for beginners? Write about what you are passionate about and above all be yourself.

Which is your favourite post?

Which is your favourite blog post?

Five things I didn’t know before having boys.

Six tips for hosting a children’s book swap party. *

mychild | august 2014

directory

An organic range of health and beauty products that won’t cost the earth or your health. Spend $150 or more on your initial Contact Lindsay on order to get 20% off this and all future orders. 0434 644 353 www.naturalbeauty.miessence.com

SIT WITH EASE PROTECTED ON A HYGIENIC BARRIER • RECYCLED PAPER • BIODEGRADABLE

Maternit y & Breastfeeding

AT WOOlWORTHS & INDEPENDENT SuPERmARkETS, TOIlET PAPER AISlE

www.bluelinehygienics.com

SAVE $1000’s per child • EnVironmEntAlly Friendly EASy to Use • BAmBoo Absorber Included

onE SiZE with adjustable leg elastic!

www.peapods.com.au

100% bamboo liners

• Flushable • Antibacterial • 100% Biodegradable

august 2014 | mychild

* 95

NEWS

PREGNANCY&BIRTH

Did yo..u. know

Vitamin D deficiency during pregnancy increases the risk of your child developing tooth decay

Put pressure on morning sickness

In Chinese Traditional Medicine, the P6 pressure point is used to combat nausea. You can find this acupressure spot on the inside of your wrist, around two finger-widths below the crease, between the two large tendons. Hold the wrist firmly with your thumb and forefinger at this point until the nausea passes. For ongoing morning sickness, Sea-Band acupressure bands apply constant compression to the P6 point. Look for them in pharmacies.

ash* fl s w e N *

The European Food Safety Authority has classified placenta capsules as a “novel food”. In theory, this would make it illegal for anyone to offer placenta encapsulation services throughout Europe. Novel foods range from genetically modified fruit and vegetables to meat products from cloned animals.

Switched on for Caesarean

mychild | august 2014

written By jo hegerty

Australian researchers studying muscle biopsies of pregnant women have discovered the uterus controls contractions via an electrical current. When the body is ready to labour, the current is switched off and the contractions begin. However, for women who are overweight, the “switch” fails to activate, labour is delayed or fails to progress and the end result for the mum-to-be is often an emergency Caesarean. With 35 percent of Australian women at childbearing age considered overweight, this is an important discovery that could lead to a new treatment and reduction in surgical births.

name game

Having trouble choosing a name for your new baby? Don’t worry, there’s an app for that! The Baby Name Game app asks which of two names you prefer then compiles a list of best options based on your preferences. Available free for iPhone on the App Store.

AUSTRALIAN DESIGN • AUSTRALIAN MADE ORGANIC COTTON COVERS

Pesticides linked to autism

Although there is no one cause for autism, a study in California, US, found that pregnant women living near agricultural areas that were sprayed with pesticides had a significantly higher risk of their child developing an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Those living near farms where organophosphates were sprayed had an increased risk of 60 percent, while those exposed to pyrethroids (also commonly found in insect sprays used in the home), had a 50 percent higher chance of having children with ASD and developmental delays when the exposure occurred just before conception or in the third trimester. This is not the first study to find a connection between pesticides and autism, and researchers say the link should be explored further.

• Offers back & belly support • No need to swap bulky pillows side to side • Minimises partners disturbance and overheating • Available in four beautiful colours • Can be used for breast feeding

www.bellybean.com.au LIKE US ON FACEBOOK TO RECEIVE A

10%

DISCOUNT * 97 august 2014 | mychild

news | pregnancy & birth

What does a maternity concierge do? Mother’s help meets private midwife! A maternity concierge is someone who helps families prepare for their new baby. Depending on the qualifications of your maternity concierge, she can help you with: • setting up the nursery (even the painting!) • choosing the perfect pram, cot, high chair and other equipment • preparing emotionally for the baby • arranging pre- and postnatal care • in-home support with settling your new bub. Michelle La Roche, midwife, paediatric nurse, childbirth educator and the founder of Bump

mychild | august 2014

Consulting, says, ‘Maternity concierge services aim to remove any stress and confusion by doing all of the hard work, especially if there are other complications involved such as moving house or high-risk pregnancies. This allows mums and dads to enjoy their pregnancy and be prepared for life with a newborn.’ When choosing a maternity concierge, look for someone with a healthcare background. Also ensure they have extensive knowledge of baby products, Australian standards and safety. To find out more, visit bumpconsulting.com.au.

Choline a must for pregnant mums

You may not be familiar with the name, but choline is the latest supernutrient for expecting mothers. Similar to folate and the B-vitamins, choline is essential for healthy brain development. It also plays a significant role in supporting the development of the neural tube, and has been shown to reduce the effects of Down syndrome and protect babies from developing Alzheimer’s disease and schizophrenia. Researchers at New York’s Cornell University also found that higher intakes of choline in a mother’s diet was linked to a decreased risk of their offspring developing diabetes and high blood pressure. Choline is naturally present in foods such as lecithin granules, eggs, salmon, beef, chicken, kidney beans, lentils, brussels sprouts, broccoli, spinach, cauliflower, oats, milk, wheatgerm and chocolate. It’s recommended that women increase their intake before falling pregnant and continue with at least 450mg during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. Zycia Natal Nutrients, $49.99 for 120 tablets, provide 500mg of choline along with other essential vitamins and minerals. Available at zycia.com.au.

Pregnant or trying to conceive? This is for you! Zycia means life and the company is dedicated to supporting life in it's earliest stages. Zycia Natal Nutrients is a comprehensive multivitamin for conception, pregnancy and breastfeeding. Providing • An active form of folic acid • Choline and iodine to support healthy brain development • 1000IU of vitamin D Plus other essential nutrients and nutritional antioxidants to support conception and the progression of a healthy pregnancy through to breastfeeding. 100% Australian Made 100% Australian Owned 100% Vegetarian friendly 100% Halal Certiﬁed

Natal Nutrients With Choline and Iodine for brain development

Premium nutrients for

Percentage of profits donated to

PRE-CONCEPTION PREGNANCY BREASTFEEDING

august 2014 | mychild

* 99

shopping

PREGNANCY&BIRTH buckle up

At $39.95, this 200 thread count cotton Shnooki Sheet is the safest way to tuck your baby into the cot. It’s basically a shortened cot sheet with a soft adjustable band and fitted corners. Watch the video and buy from shnookisheet.com.au.

Available from Bubba Bags, this Toile Black & White Buckle Bag, $99 by Kalencom, is packed full of practical features. It has an easy-clean waterproof coating, adjustable pram straps, bottle holder and roomy pockets for all of bub’s things! There is also a bottle bag, zippered storage pouch and padded change mat. Go to bubbabags.com.au to find out more.

take a Joy ride

Mini massage

One of the most important things to consider when travelling in a car with your new baby is safety. Joie Baby’s newest car seat capsule is a lightweight, durable and affordable addition to your car. Retailing at $379, the Gemm capsule is super handy as you can move your bub from car to stroller to home with only minimal fuss. Go to joiebaby.com.au.

As part of Johnson’s Baby massage range, the Johnson’s Baby Lotion, $5.49 for 200ml, is specially formulated to nourish your bub’s skin and protect against dryness for up to 24 hours. Hypoallergenic and clinically proven to be mild, this lotion is great for soothing your baby before bedtime. For more information head to johnsonsbaby.com.au.

safe sleep

It’s high time Chicco’s Polly Double Phase highchair follows baby’s growth from five months to three years of age. It’s secure and comfortable with a removable outer cover and activity tray, plus double padding for excellent support, and four wheels and brakes for maximum safety. Better still, the frame adjusts to seven different heights! It retails for $299 and you can find stockists at chicco.com.au.

100

mychild | august 2014

pillow plus Ultimate Sleep’s Comfort-U Pregnancy Pillow by Fossflakes, $320, is designed to eliminate tension and pressure on your back and joints when you’re sleeping, allowing you to deeply relax. See ultimatesleep.com.au.

see more Oricom’s Secure910 Digital Video Baby Monitor, $329, lets you monitor your baby clearly with a split screen view to different rooms. It can connect up to four cameras, has digital pan-tilt and zoom, parent talkback to comfort your baby, a nightlight and room temperature display. Head to oricom.com.au.

Bunny love Little Bonbon’s reversible, cotton bunny baby blanket, $49.95, is durable and suitable for everyday use. Plus it can be machine washed and tumble dried, so it’s ideal for bassinettes, prams or floor play. See littlebonbon.com.au.

Hand-illustrated furniture for your child. Designs inspired by you to create magical spaces for your child!

pinkcoyote.com.au facebook.com/pinkcoyote.com.au

M 0414 260 110

august 2014 | mychild

* 101

shopping | pregnancy & birth

doesn’t grow on trees Speckled House stocks the much-loved Australian wall decal brand Forwalls, which specialises in vinyl wall decals that can be applied to pretty well any surface including painted walls, wallpaper, counter tops, windows, mirrors and tiles. This trees wall decal pack, priced at $42.95, contains three sheets with 54 trees in total. Bring your child’s room to life! Visit speckledhouse.com for a huge selection of wall decals, canvases, storage hampers and certified organic cotton blankets for babies and children.

heart strings

cream of the crop

Designed in Australia, LoveLoops are created from quality sterling silver or solid nine carat gold. A gorgeous gift for any new mother, the company also does custom engraving so you can keep your baby’s name close to your heart. Engraved LoveLoops start at $149 and chains start at $58. Cufflinks are also on offer – ideal for a new dad. Go to loveloops.com.au.

A great solution for minimising scars, stretch marks and dry skin, Phytocare’s Gotu Fade cream, priced at $24.95, has been ethically formulated by experienced naturopaths. The ingredients work synergistically to promote skin elasticity and hydration. Better yet, the cream is made from 100 percent natural ingredients and is free from preservatives, hydrogenated castor oil and lanolin. Head to phytocare.com.au.

be prepared

the breast time Brought to you by Pinky McKay, the Arden All-in-One Bra, $79, is beautiful, practical and lets you nurse or breast pump hands-free, or nurse and pump simultaneously! Better yet, you can adjust the sizing using the crossover panel. Get yours at boobiebikkies.com.au.

102

mychild | august 2014

Closer to Nature’s Perfect Prep machine makes a fresh bottle for your newborn at just the right temperature in under two minutes. Perfect Prep, $250, is designed to give you peace of mind. The filter system also removes impurities and bacteria that might be present in the water. Head to closertonature baby.com.au.

august 2014 | mychild

* 103

PREGNANCY tips

5 ways to manage morning sickness As exciting as pregnancy is, one of the not-so-exciting side effects is morning sickness. Here are a few top tips to help get it under control. Nicola Conville reports

Eat small meals Can’t stomach large meals? Eating small meals regularly can help ease the symptoms of morning sickness. Larger meals get more difficult to eat as your pregnancy progresses anyway so it’s good to get used to eating a few smaller, healthy meals and snacks every day.

Keep snacks by your bed Nausea can often strike in the wee hours of the morning so keep a few crackers, plain biscuits or an apple on your bedside table so you have something to nibble on if you wake up feeling queasy.

Cave in to cravings Many women report craving foods they would never usually eat – normally more calorific foods such as toasted sandwiches, takeaway burgers or hot

104

mychild | august 2014

chips! Don’t fret about giving in to seemingly “unhealthy” cravings. Better to have something in your stomach than go hungry. Your body is hard at work and needs the extra calories.

Keep it cool If your morning sickness is so severe that you’re having problems keeping anything down, try sucking on ice cubes made from water or fruit juice so that at least you’re staying hydrated.

Outsource some meals Is preparing and cooking the evening meal making you feel nauseous? Ask your partner, family or friends to pitch in by helping out with the cooking, especially in the first trimester when morning sickness tends to be more severe and your energy levels are very low anyway. *

Pure Tots

Beautiful handmade crochet toys, clothes & accessories

Designed for newborns to 12 years, with a focus on using 100% organic fair-trade cotton, Pure Tots offers beautiful handmade, eco-friendly crochet toys, accessories and clothes – all created in Western Australia. Our range brings you old-world charm with a modern twist.

puretots.com.au

Keep your little ones close with a Woven Wrap - Safe, Comfortable & Stylish -

SHOP ONLINE – 24/7 WWW.WOVENWRAPS.COM.AU WWW.WOVENWRAPS.COM.AU

105

PREGNANCY

106

mychild | august 2014

11 things you swore you would

never do (but do anyway) Prior to falling pregnant, you probably rolled your eyes at the clichéd things other women did. Then you found yourself doing the exact same things, says doula and bellybelly website creator Kelly Winder

efore you have experienced pregnancy, it is all too easy to tut and roll your eyes at those women who, you think, have let pregnancy get the better of them. After all, how can you possibly foretell what pregnancy will truly be like, and how you will react to growing another person. Before the pregnancy, you probably imagined yourself heavily pregnant, jogging through your local park then stopping at an organic cafe to grab a green smoothie for the stroll home. In reality, however, the nearest you get to jogging is your “there’s-a-baby-on-my-bladder” fastpaced walk to the bathroom. In fact, the pregnant you isn’t anything like

what you imagined. Here are 11 things many mothers-to-be swear they will never do during their pregnancy… but do anyway.

Worry about everything Prior to your pregnancy, you looked on with a mix of disbelief and horror as your pregnant friends wept about sleepless nights spent worrying about their developing baby. These women seemed to be on constant alert for disaster, waiting for everything to come crashing down around them. Now it’s you who lies awake at 3am, searching forums to find reassurance that your baby will be OK. At least that obsessive worrying won’t harm your unborn child. >

august 2014 | mychild

* 107

pregnancy

Become a baby bore You’ve seen it so many times. Your wonderful, intelligent, feisty friends suddenly turn into baby bores as soon as the little blue line appears on their pregnancy test. You swore this would never happen to you – you would be different and stay true to yourself during pregnancy and motherhood. But then you got pregnant, and found out how tiring it is. Most of your spare time is spent sleeping, and the few waking

“You wanted to give caffeine up, but were just sooo tired. And eating only healthy food is fine in principle, but hardly realistic when you spend most of the day craving chocolate ice-cream!” hours you do have away from the office are spent obsessively reading about pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and motherhood. When your friends ask what you’ve been up to, you can tell them in great detail about the stages of labour, advise them on potential breastfeeding problems, and let them in on the secret to avoiding stretch marks. However, if they want to strike up a political discussion or ask if you like a new band, the conversation hits a dead end.

Cry at everything You can spot a pregnant woman on television not by her bump, but because she’s the only one in tears. Apparently pregnant women cry at work, weep during any arguments and sob during commercials. Not you though, at least until you became pregnant yourself. Why must they put such adorable babies on nappy commercials? How are you meant to hold it together through that?!

Get pregnancy brain In your pre-pregnancy life, you probably thought pregnant women were simply pretending to have “pregnancy

108

mychild | august 2014

brain”. If they were colleagues, you may have thought they were doing it to get out of their workload (and been annoyed when yours increased). Now you are pregnant, however, you may have noticed your own brilliant mind starting to fade somewhat. Maybe it’s time you apologised to the pregnant women you accused of putting it on? If you can remember who they are, and what you were meant to say to them when you get there.

Give up fashion in favour of stretchy pants It’s true; there are some beautiful maternity clothes available. Some stores have maternity sections in the latest trends, and there are loads of maternity designers creating stylish and flattering outfits. But they’re just not as comfy as yoga pants. Every morning, you waddle over to your wardrobe and gaze longingly at the beautiful polka dot maternity dress you spent a small fortune on. And yet, every day your hand reaches out for those stretchy grey yoga pants.

Do the breathing thing Before you fell pregnant, you probably thought the sight of mums-to-be doing those intense breathing exercises was rather odd – all the humming, the loud exhales and the warrior-like facial expressions do look a little strange. Now that you are pregnant, however, you’ve discovered that the price of a bit of humiliation is worth it when faced with the prospect of giving birth to a baby. If the breathing is supposed to help, then you will practise those breathing exercises during every available second.

Exploit your bump Not getting a seat on the train is rubbish. Sorry, was rubbish, it doesn’t happen to you now because you simply gaze longingly across the seats while rubbing your belly and within seconds you have a seat. You can also get out of heavy lifting this way. And you’re allowed to take naps whenever you like, and are guaranteed the comfiest seat wherever you go.

Break the rules Despite spending a large proportion of your waking hours reading articles telling you what you shouldn’t do during pregnancy, you aren’t an angel. You wanted to give caffeine up, but were just sooo tired. And eating only healthy food is fine in principle, but hardly realistic when you spend most of the day craving chocolate ice-cream!

Cancel on friends Your friends are your family; you’ve been through everything together. You swore you would never miss Friday night cocktails (mocktails, thank you very much), lunch dates or movie nights. Then you fell pregnant, and fell asleep on the sofa and missed everything. And not just once – you’ve slept through almost every social event for the last month.

Be irrational You’re not going to be one of those irrational, over-the-top pregnant women you see on TV. Certainly not. Well, not all the time anyway. I mean, if someone does something ridiculously offensive like filling in a spreadsheet incorrectly, buying the wrong type of bread or making an offhand comment then, yeah, maybe you’ll lose your cool. But only because it’s a totally normal reaction to such a catastrophe.

Fall into unhealthy habits You are definitely, definitely going to eat only healthy foods, drink filtered water, exercise every single day and give your baby the templelike body they deserve. Until you actually become pregnant, that is. Then you’ll spend your days eating cookies on the sofa, falling asleep just thinking of the gym, and throwing up every piece of fruit that passes your lips. Why is it only junk food that will stay down? * Kelly Winder is a doula (birth attendant), the creator of the BellyBelly website and a mother. Check out bellybelly.com.au for a range of informative and supportive articles about conception, pregnancy, birth and baby.

ECOLOGICAL FUR PRODUCTS FOR ALL AGES

Receive a 20% discount for My Child readers Code is MYCHILDMM august 2014 | mychild Expires 31 August 2014

* 109

BIRTH

The after birth You’ve read all about what to expect during your delivery, but what about your post-birth recovery? Brooke Wells from Essential Baby reports on everything from sex to stretch marks

egardless of whether you deliver your newborn vaginally or by via Caesarean section, all mothers will experience certain symptoms as they recover. After months of feeling elevated, hormones like oestrogen, progesterone, prolactin (the milk hormone that is stimulated via breastfeeding), thyroid hormones and cortisol will fluctuate as your body tries to get itself back into balance and greatly influence the amount of time that it takes to recover from giving birth – both physically and emotionally.    Fatigue is inevitable so mothers should take the opportunity to rest in the hospital prior to returning home. Then, once you are at home, further care should be taken to make sure that your body recuperates completely, in particular so that wounds acquired during childbirth are not exacerbated.

110

mychild | august 2014

GENERAL RECOVERY AFTER BIRTH  It is common to have bloodshot eyes, facial bruising and muscle/joint pain related to the strain of pushing during labour although this won’t last long. Other complaints include: UTERUS The uterus will take around six to eight weeks to shrink to its pre-pregnancy size and the contractions may be felt as “after pains” for the first few days after giving birth, especially when breastfeeding and in subsequent pregnancies.    STRETCH MARKS The stretch marks that develop during pregnancy (mainly on the stomach and breasts but often on the thighs and buttocks as well) may turn from red and purple streaks to a silver or pearly colour and could itch after pregnancy is over. Treating stretch marks with vitamin E cream as soon as they appear, in addition to trying not to >

august 2014 | mychild

* 111

birth gain too much weight during pregnancy, will help to reduce the extent to which stretch marks evolve, but for the most part, they will never fade completely.   BREAST PAIN Many new mothers experience breast pain. This is caused by engorgement (as the breasts begin milk production), mastitis (if milk ducts become blocked) or cracked nipples, all of which can usually be treated with creams or antibiotics.    INFECTION Other symptoms such as fever and/or chills, inflammation, having difficulty passing urine in a similar way to a urinary tract infection, a very strong vaginal odour,

“Most women are aware of what post-partum depression is but may be unsure about how to differentiate between it and the less severe baby blues” a lack of appetite, hot flushes, night sweats or dry skin could be an indication of infection or circulation problems, so it’s best to advise your GP as soon as they occur.   LIBIDO Even several months after giving birth, some women may feel a lack of libido due to dips and spikes in hormonal activity, while others may have a lack of vaginal lubrication even if their libido levels seem to be fine. Both should pass with time.    DEPRESSION Most women are aware of what post-partum depression is but may be unsure about how to differentiate between it and the less severe baby blues. Post-partum hormonal instability causes a rush of emotions and mood swings that range widely between elation, sadness, anxiety and agitation, but this is very normal. More extreme emotions such as persistent despair, anguish and rage may be felt by some women, and are suggestive of post-partum depression. This can manifest as panic attacks, suicidal thoughts and insomnia, and it can surface anywhere

112

mychild | august 2014

between the early days following birth and up to 12 months later. Counselling, antidepressants and oestrogen replacement therapy are several options that are available to mothers who are suffering from depression, and often doctors will recommend all three in conjunction with one another.

RECOVERING AFTER VAGINAL BIRTH  The amount of swelling and pain that women will experience after giving birth vaginally varies, depending on whether there was any tearing or if forceps or a vacuum ventouse was used to assist with delivery, and this can be further aggravated by stitches or constipation. Painkillers and ice packs can alleviate this.    URINATION, CONSTIPATION & HAEMORRHOIDS Urinating and defecating will probably be very uncomfortable at first but you should feel less sore with each day. Laxatives may help with avoiding constipation and to make passing bowel motions easier, given that the vaginal and rectal area will be tender and sore for some time, especially if haemorrhoids (tissue and veins protruding through the skin around the anus) develop. Sitz baths will ease both haemorrhoids and episiotomy-related pain, and can be taken in warm or cold water, but their main function is to alter the blood flow to the vaginal area so that there is less pressure.   BLEEDING Bleeding with small clots and then later a bloody discharge called lochia continues for the first week or two after birth, shifting from dark red to pink to a yellowy-white hue. This is nothing to be concerned about unless the bleeding doesn’t ease over time or blood clots are frequently being passed and are very large. These things should be reported almost immediately, instead of waiting for a scheduled post-pregnancy check-up.    INCONTINENCE Urinary incontinence is a physical effect of vaginal birth that can last for years for some women, but not all are affected. Again, the degree to which the vagina is >

Maxi-mum benefits for you and your baby Swing maxi & Calma

The new double electric breastpump Swing maxi offers proven advantages: gain more milk with a higher energy content in less time. Thanks to the innovative breastmilk feeding solution Calma, switching from breast to bottle and back to the breast has never been easier. Benefit from precious time to care, relax and enjoy the most peaceful moments with your lovely baby. www.swing-maxi.com

Learn more about our Breastfeeding solutions at www.medela.com.au, and join the ‘Medela Australia’ Facebook community

“Pumping and feeding made easy with the medelaMe iPhone app, available on the App Store for free!” august 2014 | mychild

* 113

114

mychild | august 2014

august 2014 | mychild

* 115

NEWS

BABY&TODDLER

BABY tALK

Since their launch in 2013, Red Nose Baby Wipes have raised more than $90,000 for SIDS and Kids, with a goal of $1 million to help fund research into stillbirth, SIDS and safe sleeping practices. Available in independent supermarkets and Big W, the wipes are Australian made and owned and have FSC (Forestry Stewardship Council) certification, meaning the raw materials come from sustainably managed sources. During August, each carton of jumbo Red Nose Baby Wipes comes with a free personalised My Adventure book worth $20. Each carton contains nine 100-wipe packs, $35.97, and you can order online at aussiewipes.com.au.

written By jo hegerty

Whether they’re spoken to in English, Chinese or Latvian, all babies learn to speak following a similar pattern: • newborns communicate by crying, then start cooing at around one to two months old • by six months most babies are babbling • between eight months and one year, infants can make gestures and understand a wide range of words spoken to them • their first words are at around 13 months • at one-and-a-half years of age, toddlers experience a rapid increase in vocabulary, putting two words together any time from 18 months to two years old.

Wiping out SIDS

Who are you calling average? Recent research conducted by breast-pump manufacturer Medela demonstrates the huge range of what’s considered “normal” when it comes to breastfeeding your baby. Here are some findings: • Number of breastfeeds per day: 4-13 • Duration of a feed: 12-67 minutes • Amount of milk taken per feed: 54-234ml • Daily milk intake: 47-1,356ml

116

mychild | august 2014

ergobaby ergobaby

MUMS COMPARE COSTS

NEW

Swaddler

Get the best price on your favourite cloth or disposable nappies, prams, car seats and more with new Bubsac app. Search online stores, add any bargains you find and chat with other mums. It’s completely free on the app store! Go to bubsac.com.au.

Homemade to your door

In a study that will alarm busy mums, researchers at the University of Glasgow, UK, found store-bought baby and toddler foods are only half as nutritionally dense as homemade food. Cooking up a storm and freezing meals is one way to ensure you have good food at the ready, another is a new service that delivers healthy baby food from one mum’s kitchen to your door. Based in Melbourne, Baby Bistro baby and toddler meals are made from fresh, organic produce and blast frozen to retain nutrients. Orders are packed into cool bags with ice packs and couriered to your workplace or home. The range includes purees from $3.95, baby meals such as cheesy fish with broccoli and cauliflower, $6.95, and toddler mains such as chicken and mushroom risotto, $7.95. Visit babybistro.com.au for details.

Sweet dreams for you and your baby The innovative Ergobaby Swaddler provides a soft, breathable and flexible swaddling option for your baby. Unique ergonomic features keep baby’s legs in the correct ‘frog-leg’ position and secure the arms close to the heart to ensure your baby sleeps longer, safely and more peacefully. Sweet dreams for you and your baby. 1

watch sleep magic here!

The Ergobaby Swaddler holds baby securely and comfortably in the ideal position for sleep and for hip development. I recommend it wholeheartedly. And most of the babies I have seen in the Ergobaby Swaddler are asleep. That says it all!”

Dr Howard Chilton - Author of ‘Baby On Board’ - www.babydoc.com.au Leading neonatologist, Sydney’s Prince of Wales Private Hospital

ergobaby.com.au 1300 725 276 august 2014 | mychild 117 ergobaby.co.nz +61 3 6240 * 4001

news | baby & toddler

How to share a nanny With the cost of daycare going up all the time, in-home childcare is increasingly appealing. One way to make it more affordable is “nanny sharing” where one nanny cares for the children of two families at once (up to four children in total). Typically, the location alternates between the two families’ homes and, apart from invoicing, all aspects of care are handled jointly. Louise Dunham from Placement Solutions, a Melbourne-based company that specialises in in-home childcare, says, ‘We interview parents from both families together and select potential nannies based on the joint needs of the families.

Ongoing client liaison visits are also held jointly.’ Before considering nanny sharing, potential “share parents” should discuss matters of how much reading and screen time is considered suitable, discipline, nutrition issues such as sugar “allowances”, and also what the children are allowed to watch. ‘Where these things are in sync and the two homes aren’t too far apart,’ says Dunham, ‘nanny sharing between two families can be a realistic and money-saving option.’ For more information on hiring and affording nannies, visit placementsolutions.com.au.

“From 12,000 in 2008 to more than 40,000 today: the number of stay-at-home dads” 118

mychild | august 2014

Guess what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been growing? Just veggies!

august 2014 | mychild

* 119

BABY&TODDLER

shopping

Simple sip Papenboo’s Lovi 360 Cup range, from $18.95, is BPA-free and made with a unique sealing system that allows children to drink from around the rim without spilling. You can buy the cups in sizes Mini 210ml, Junior 250ml and Active 350ml. Head to papenboo.com.au.

Extra padding These reusable Nursing Pads by Pea Pods, $19.95, are an environmentally friendly alternative to standard disposable pads. They’re breathable and made from soft bamboo with a waterproof outer layer. See peapods.com.au.

My octopus friend This Lamaze Octotunes toy, $29.95, is lots of fun. It’s a great educational toy to help your baby develop their motor skills while entertaining them with music. Designed to promote imaginative play and hand-eye coordination, visit lamazetoys.com.

Snack time Zestio reusable food pouches feature a resealable zip lock, are a great size for a lunch box and can even be frozen and are dishwasher safe. Priced at $12 for four, head to zestio.com.au.

How soothing

Easy does it

Chicco’s Physio Soft Soother, $8.99, has been designed to ensure gentle contact even when baby sleeps. It’s available in natural latex rubber or silicone, and in sizes 0, 4m and 12m. The soother has a thin profile on the teat to help bub close their mouth correctly. Head to chicco.com.au.

The RockaRoo by 4Moms is the baby rocker of the future! Retailing at $339.95, the RockaRoo has robotic motion control to maximise the sensation of motion for your baby. It also comes with an MP3 Plug-in to connect your iPhone with some soothing music while bub rocks. The rocker is exclusive to Target. Go to cnpbrands.com.au.

120

mychild | august 2014

AVAILABLE IN

august 2014 | mychild

* 121

shopping | baby & toddler

At your fingertips Brand new to Total Bag Envy, the Madison nappy bag, $164.95, is super stylish and practical. It comes with a photo charm so you can personalise your bag and features a pram strap, clutch pocket, five internal pockets and a change mat. Go to totalbagenvy. com.au to learn more.

Cultural cuisine Rafferty’s Garden has added another recipe to their Flavours of the World range called Moroccan lamb, $2.49. Their specially formulated recipes from around the world are for babies from 12 months of age onwards and aid with developing acceptance of different flavours and textures. Available at Woolworths, Coles and leading supermarkets, head to raffertysgarden.com.

Soak it up

Let off some steam

Those first few days after birth can be painful, but the folk at Cussons Mum & Me have made it a little easier with this Calm & Soothe Bath Soak. Retailing at $9.99 for 300ml, it’s fragrance free and gynaecologically tested. Plus it contains arnica, which reduces bruising. You can purchase it from Priceline. Check out mumandme.com.

Medela’s Quick Clean Microwave Bag, $26.95, is an easy-to-use disinfectant bag that kills 99.9 percent of germs and bacteria. It is perfect for breastfeeding accessories and only takes three minutes in the microwave to sterilise the contents, making it a chemicalfree cleaning option. Go to medela.com.au.

Lend a hand

Throw over

Scratch mittens are an essential for every baby after birth as they help keep hands warm, and stop them from scratching their skin. These mittens from Fourzero are priced at $14 and are made in Australia from organic cotton and bamboo fabric. Choose from a variety of colours such as raspberry, moss green and navy at fourzero.com.au.

One garment, worn 12 ways! The Topszy Nursing Cover, $38.50, is available in several colours and you can wear it as a vest, top, scarf, shawl and more. Plus you can nurse your baby discreetly in four positions. Go to topszy.com.au for more information.

122

mychild | august 2014

More than just nappies!

Old fashioned service with expert advice

Natural skincare ranges Chemical-free cleaning products Chemical-free baby products

thenappylady.com.au august 2014 | mychild * 123

BABY TIPS

7 baby sleep ideas Sleep can be elusive for everyone in the first year of baby’s life. Here are some hints to help your family get more precious shut-eye. Nicola Conville reports

Pat baby’s bottom Hold your baby over one shoulder and gently pat their bottom in time with your own heartbeat. You can sing a quiet lullaby at the same time. Often baby will be so busy focusing on your voice and the patting they will stop crying.

Create a bedtime ritual It’s important to create a routine so baby starts to recognise the signs that you’re winding down for the day. Try a bath, milk feed, story and cuddle. The order you do things in may be more important than sticking to a rigid time schedule.

Go for a walk If you’ve tried everything and nothing is working, popping baby in the pram or in a sling and going for a gentle walk may do the trick. Even if bub doesn’t drift off, you’ll both benefit from the fresh air.

Cuddle up Exhausted? Then lie down with your bub. At least you’ll be able to get some rest and hopefully baby will be comforted.

124

mychild | august 2014

Watch for any early tired signs The trick is to get your baby off to bed before they get overtired. Early signs to watch out for include clenched fists, rubbing at ears, grizzling, jerky movements, pink around the eyes and staring. If your baby starts displaying one or more of these signs, get them straight to bed!

Do what works Keeping safety and SIDS guidelines in mind, it is OK to do whatever works for you, whether it’s co-sleeping, letting bub be fed to sleep, having naps in the pram or sling, or rocking to sleep. Sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to get a good night’s sleep. As long as it’s safe and gentle, there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to get a baby to sleep!

Find out what’s wrong Babies cry to let us know something is up. Is baby hungry? Do they need their nappy changed? Are they too hot or cold? By process of elimination you should be able to work out what’s causing the problem – most of the time anyway! *

Swaddle COOL This Summer!

New! Summer Convertible Woombie

-SAFE-

-EFFECTIVE-

-COMFORTABLE-

-EASY-

The Woombie is the safe & natural way to swaddle your baby, allowing and encouraging your baby to softly stretch their extremities as needed - just like in the womb. Our Patented Peanut Shape gently cocoonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the babies unique curves, and is hip healthy.

www.woombieaustralia.com.au Woombie Australia

august 2014 | mychild

* 125

BABY TIPS

5 tips for dealing with a sick bub Nothing is worse than seeing your baby miserable with a cold or tummy bug. But at least there’s lots you can do to make them more comfy. Nicola Conville reports

Phone a friend If you’re up with a sick baby in the middle of the night, call a helpline such as the After Hours GP Helpline (1800 022 222). They’ll give you practical advice, help you make a call on whether you need a GP or even a trip to the hospital and put your mind at rest.

Ease cold symptoms Little bubs often come down with coughs and colds. Help ease the congestion by raising the head of their cot with books under the top two legs or by placing a rolled-up towel under the top of the mattress. This elevates their head, stopping mucus from going down their throat (nice) and helping them breathe more easily. Also try rubbing eucalyptus balm on the soles of their feet and pop cotton socks over the top – works a treat.

Better safe than sorry Never worry about bothering your GP or being thought of as a worrywart. Nothing is more important than

126

mychild | august 2014

your baby’s wellbeing so if you’re concerned, get them checked out. Equally, if your baby is sick, put everything on hold (including work) so you can be with them. They won’t want to be with anyone else when they’re not well.

Get support Looking after a sick baby is all-consuming as they will be clingy and won’t want to let you out of their sight. Enlist help with household tasks such as cooking and cleaning – get your husband, friends, family or neighbours on board. If no-one is available, get a cleaner or babysitter if you can afford it. And let your standards slip for a few days!

Switch to simple foods If your baby has an upset stomach or gastro, give them bland foods such as plain crackers, toast, rice and mashed banana. If they don’t want to eat, don’t worry too much – the main thing is to keep them hydrated so offer lots of fluids. *

august 2014 | mychild

* 127

BABY tips

Teething 101 Teething can mean sleepless nights, swollen gums and even sore bums! Here’s what to do when those pearly whites start breaking through. Nicola Conville reports Baby teeth usually first start to appear around the age of eight months, however some babies get their first teeth much earlier or later, says dental therapist Julie Barker. ‘Some children will have teeth pop up with no trouble while for others teething can make them miserable,’ she explains. ‘Thankfully teething doesn’t last very long per tooth and the biggest issue is usually the excessive drool.’ The first teeth to appear are normally the two bottom front ones, followed by the two top middle teeth, then others at the side and back.

How can you help?

Signs of teething

Caring for baby teeth

Apart from drooling, signs of teething include red cheeks, an increased interest in biting and chewing, general crankiness and discomfort. Other symptoms can include diarrhoea, nappy rash or a raised temperature.

Once the first teeth appear, use a soft, small brush to clean them. Before they even pop through, a washcloth wrapped around your finger can be used to keep gums clean and get baby used to the routine. *

128

mychild | august 2014

Barker suggests massaging your baby’s gums using teething gels, giving a chilled teething ring, offering chilled food or cool water in a sippy cup, depending on the age of the child. Rusks can also help, as can frozen bananas. Some babies may just need lots of extra hugs and reassurance. If your baby is in a lot of pain or teething is interfering with their feeding and sleeping, you can give them infant ibuprofen or paracetamol, taking care to adhere to the dosage instructions on the packet.

THE MOST DROOL-WORTHY ACCESSORY YOU’VE SEEN YET

www.jellystonedesigns.com

miffy

WWW.ANNABELTRENDS.COM

august 2014 | mychild

* 129

BABY

Touch base The emotional environment we bring our littlies up in can influence their stress levels throughout their lives. Author and educator Shelley Davidow says the right thing at the right time makes all the difference

ur most basic instinctive knowledge tells us the miracle of life depends crucially on the environment that supports it. Even before we’re born, this is of fundamental importance. It is obvious that a foetus is in need of the protection of the womb and the nutrients that come from the mother in order for them to survive. Before 26 weeks, most babies cannot survive outside the womb. Even when they do, their lungs are often weak as a result of entering our oxygen/nitrogen-rich environment too early. It’s obvious in this instance that an environment that is fine and healthy for a toddler is not good for a 26-week-old foetus. What we don’t often consider is that when we are pregnant, our emotional state, in other words everything that we think and feel, will naturally become an integral part of a child’s prenatal environment.

130

mychild | august 2014

THE STRESS RESPONSE Stress a pregnant mother, flood her system with stress hormones on a chronic basis, and her young baby may well carry this impact, this pattern of an overactive stress-response, throughout it’s life. In addition to keeping physically healthy, our emotional state is a highly influential factor in the healthy physical, emotional and intellectual development of our unborn babies. Then our babies are born, and as they grow, it seems to me that we slowly lose sight of the fact that the environment plays a crucial role in how they develop. Because, just as the womb was the perfect place for a 26-week-old foetus, what’s essential for one phase of a toddler’s development is no longer necessary for the next. And that thing called “stress” often happens when we forget that these phases are real – they are tied to >

august 2014 | mychild

* 131

baby our children’s physiological, emotional and cognitive development – and we often hurry our children into an environment for which they’re underprepared. It’s worth remembering that the right thing at the right time makes all the difference.

CHILDREN’S DEVELOPMENT The trouble is that children develop at slightly different rates from one another, so what’s right for one four-year-old is not yet quite right for another five-year-old. It really is up to us as parents to make careful individual decisions as we observe the unique process of a particular child’s development. Think about this classic example of how popular parenting techniques (which may go against our instincts anyway) may be damaging to infants. ‘Just put him in his cot,’ my friends advised me when my sleepless baby was six weeks old. ‘Leave him in his own room and let him cry it out. He’ll soon be sleeping through the night.’ Something felt wrong. I considered the fact that we spend the best part of our 80 or 90 years of life as independent human beings. A baby is by its very nature a dependent being. If that being depends entirely on me, if only

“A baby is by its very nature a dependent being. If that being depends entirely on me, if only for a short while, surely I need to be part of an environment that is dependable” for a short while, surely I need to be part of an environment that is dependable. And I wanted his environment to be a small step away from the one he had just left (inside me, under my heart), so I thought it should include, most importantly, my physical presence, most of the time, while he was tiny. A 2012 study by Wendy Middlemiss at the

132

mychild | august 2014

University of North Texas in the US, measured the levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, in babies who were left to “cry it out” during the night or “self-soothe” to get themselves to sleep. The study found that although the babies did eventually stop the physical behaviour of crying, they still exhibited elevated cortisol levels when they woke or transitioned from waking to sleeping. Middlemiss told the UK’s Daily Mail: Although the infants exhibited no behavioural cue that they were experiencing distress during the transition to sleep, they continued to experience high levels of physiological distress, as reflected in their cortisol scores. Overall, outward displays of internal stress were extinguished by sleep training. However, given the continued presence of distress, infants were not learning how to internally manage their experiences of stress and discomfort. So Middlemiss’ research finally supports those parents who think that letting babies cry themselves to sleep is potentially harmful. The right thing at the right time is essential. Our smallest babies need us near them.

LOVING TOUCH Our child’s early environment is made up of the family and friends who surround them, and it is the emotional environment that shapes their development to a large degree. Firstly, it makes a significant difference whether we are held to our mother’s hearts after we’re born or left in a cot in a povertystricken orphanage. Due to the controversial (and very cruel) experiments on baby rhesus monkeys by Harry Harlow in the 1950s, which were deprived of their mothers, we can now say with certainty that loving touch is the most basic and essential element that a baby needs from its parents – over and above food and protection – in order to thrive. Harlow wrote, The primary function of nursing… is that of insuring frequent and intimate body contact of the infant with the mother. Your four-week-old baby, who wants to

nurse every two hours instead of every four, wants you to hold him close more than he wants breastmilk or formula. So if you isolate a baby from its mother and deprive it of touch, you create complete stress and distress, with long-term consequences in terms of social, emotional and intellectual development. As a result of Harlow’s work, loving touch is now part of many programs in neonatal intensive care units. It is arguably the most vital element in healthy emotional, intellectual

“If you isolate a baby from its mother and deprive it of touch, you create complete stress and distress, with longterm consequences in terms of social, emotional and intellectual development” and physiological development. When our babies or young children are upset or distressed, we hug them and hold them close. Our physical proximity reduces stress and anxiety and comforts them. From birth up until three years of age, the prefrontal cortex is going through one of its most rapid development and pruning phases. It’s unprecedented how exponential learning is in these early years. If environment and the emotional state of a child is a critical factor in cognitive development, then the environment that surrounds our children in these early years is going to be as influential as the womb was when our children were there. Being deprived of a loving parent is an acute stressor for young children. People often talk about “separation anxiety” as if it’s something abnormal, a kind of affliction that has to be cured. Sure, we’ve all had to and will have to leave our children crying at some point in our lives, but I think it makes a difference when that happens and how we understand it; it’s probably most important that we don’t see

separation anxiety as something negative – children who never have the chance to attach to a loving parent very often suffer from lifelong attachment disorders. Being attached is absolutely right. We need to be sensitive to the wisdom of separation anxiety.

FROM HEART TO HEAD If we want to raise intelligent, well-adjusted kids who will be bright, happy and healthy, we have to consider this fact: everything that goes on in a child’s heart, from before birth onwards, also goes on in that child’s head. That’s quite a concept. In the US, the Institute of HeartMath has shown over the past three decades that our brains respond to our heart’s rhythms. Our children’s brainwaves entrain to their heart’s rhythms. Harmonious, ordered patterns in heart rhythms result in harmonious ordered patterns in their brains. So if you want to think clearly – to have an optimal cognitive state – your heart rhythms have to be coherent. If our children’s hearts and emotions are taken care of, their brains will have the chance to develop properly. Healthy heart rhythms mean healthy neurological development. I believe there are intense consequences for how we parent our children. The emotional state of a parent has a direct effect on a baby’s cognitive function and their development. We as parents are the emotional environment surrounding our babies. If this is true, then it is a stressful thought that our stresses can have a measurable impact on the neurological development of our kids. So maybe the focus on the importance of early independence, early literacy and rapid socialisation, which have become the myths we believe are essential for children, will dissolve into irrelevance once we realise what’s really important. * This is an edited extract from Shelley Davidow’s Raising Stress-proof Kids (Exisle Publishing, $24.99). Get it at exislepublishing.com.au.

august 2014 | mychild

* 133

BABY

Why does a baby bite? It’s common for babies to go through a stage of biting, hair pulling and pinching. the experts at the Raising Children Network explain what to do

w! It can come as a shock when your baby bites, pinches you or pulls your hair for the first time. But what does it mean when your baby hurts you and what can you do about it?

Six to nine months At six to nine months of age, your baby is stronger and more able to control her body. She can reach, grab, tug and bite. But she is still too young to be aggressive in the sense of intending to hurt. She is just beginning to connect cause and effect. Your baby drops something again and again, fascinated to discover that it always falls to the floor. For the same reason, he might grab your face again and again because he finds your response interesting. He is still months away from connecting your look of pain with any unpleasant sensations he himself experiences. Infants show anger very effectively with their faces and with their whole bodies, and you can probably tell an angry cry from other cries. Your baby might show anger because she is

134

mychild | august 2014

hungry, tired or uncomfortable in some way. She might just need attention or want to be cuddled. She is beginning to learn that her actions have predictable effects on the people around her. If she smiles and makes noises, she comes to expect that you will smile and talk back. If you refuse to respond in the expected way, your baby might show anger.

Nine to 12 months Every child has angry feelings from time to time. Pushing, grabbing or biting is usually just a baby’s way of trying to get something or to find out how something feels or tastes. But at times you do see real anger, for example, when you take something away or when your child cannot do something that he wants to do. When bubs show intense negative emotions, it can be hard to tell the difference between anger, fear and discomfort. For example: • a 10-month-old who lashes out when dropped off at daycare might need reassurance and more time to get used to being separated • an 11-month-old who uncharacteristically >

august 2014 | mychild

* 135

baby cries and throws everything might just have an earache • some infants are easily overstimulated and can respond in ways that appear aggressive, when in reality they could just be feeling overwhelmed or afraid. Some parents find it hard to accept that their babies have a full range of emotions, positive and negative. For example, when their infants yell or hit out in anger, the parents laugh and say, ‘Isn’t that cute? He’s mad.’ These parents are uncomfortable with anger in their children, so they make a joke out of it. The babies, seeing their parents laugh, can come to think that they actually approve of their angry behaviour.

Nine to 18 months Between nine and 18 months, many infants develop a habit of grabbing their mother’s or their father’s face when they’re being held, or pulling at hair or earrings. Biting is normal behaviour for infants, who naturally explore the world with their mouths. So the goal is to teach them to know the difference between things they should bite (food, teething rings) and what they shouldn’t (people). One way to manage this kind of behaviour is to anticipate the biting, pulling or grabbing and prevent it, while saying firmly and without a smile, ‘No biting. That hurts.’ Babies want to please their parents because they love them. On the other hand, they are also drawn to explore and experiment. If your baby is very persistent, she might not stop right away. The key is to accept the emotions for what they are and to set clear limits, even at very early ages, on aggressive behaviour. You might be tempted to yell, slap or bite back. These actions would only startle your baby. Eventually he would learn to mimic them. He might even try the behaviour again, to see if it will produce the same intense reaction from you. Remember too that biting a child back doesn’t stop biting. Instead a child is likely to learn by imitation to bite other people.

136

mychild | august 2014

Use feeling words When you talk with your baby, use emotional (or feeling) words such as “mad”, “scared” or “frustrated”, that seem to describe his state of mind at that moment. Of course, it will take years for those words and concepts to really sink in, but over time, the words you say will have more and more meaning. Eventually, your baby – at age three or four, sometimes earlier – will be able to use those words to describe and take control of her own feelings.

apply gentle firmness Respond to what may seem to be aggressive acts – hair pulling, biting or pinching – with gentle firmness: • unclamp your child’s hand (or mouth) from your arm and say something like ‘No hurting’ • if need be, put her down on the floor • let your expression be serious (no laughing, even if the behaviour seems somehow cute) but not overly shocked • pick him up soon, before he begins to fuss too much, and be prepared to repeat the whole procedure many times • for assertive, highly intense children, it can take many repetitions before they learn the boundaries of what is acceptable.

When should the behaviour stop? Even with the best, most consistent teaching, toddlers might not stop biting, pinching or pulling right away. A young child will stop pinching momentarily in response to being told no. In a few moments, though, she might be back at it again. Gradually, there will be less and less of the aggressive behaviour. * The information in this article has been sourced from the Raising Children Network. Supported by the Australian Government, this website is an Australian resource for expectant parents and the parents of newborns to teenagers. You can visit raisingchildren.net.au or connect on facebook.com/ RaisingChildrenNetwork, twitter.com/RCN_AUS and plus.google.com/+raisingchildren.

Have you always wanted to start up your own Virtual Assistant business but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know where to start? Learn all about the Virtual Assistant Industry from the experts! This gorgeous hardcopy book includes heaps of advice from expert VA, Rosie Shilo, about setting up your virtual assistant business and what to consider to ensure you are working with the right clients and getting them to LOVE you for your AWESOMENESS! It is a book and manual in one â&#x20AC;&#x201C; activities are included to help you along the way. Feedback and tips from many business owners are included so you know EXACTLY what they are looking for in an awesome VA!

VISIT OUR WEBSITE TO ORDER OR TO LEARN MORE!

www.virtuallyyours.com.au

august 2014 | mychild

* 137

Toddler

Women & work Heading back to work? Leadership specialist Karen Gately shares her essential steps to ensuring a successful transition for you and your family

or many women the prospect of going back to work is both a daunting and intimidating one. Some worry about being able to reconnect with, or fit in, among their colleagues. Others worry about their ability to get up to speed with or adapt to things that have changed while they’ve been away. These fears are common, especially among women who have spent a considerable period of time outside the workforce or away from their job. However, despite the many and varied challenges returning to work can bring, it’s also an exciting time if you choose it to be.

Be clear & have courage Take the opportunity that returning to work brings to reassess what is important to you and what this means for the career choices you need to make. A successful transition begins with knowing what path you want to go down and what first steps you need to take. Clarity will allow you to focus on what’s important. Being clear about how you want to apply your talents and invest your energy, the impact and influence you want to have and outcomes you want to create through your work is essential. Having a deep insight into what you want

138

mychild | august 2014

from work now and ideally into the future will help you make the best decisions along the way. Before you decide to return to work ask yourself: Do you want to return to your previous role? Do you want to change career direction altogether? What do you want to achieve in the next phase of your work life? What are you willing to invest in and commit to? What is non-negotiable about your next role?

Develop your capabilities Successful transition back into work life begins while you are still on maternity leave. If you’re eager to take your career in a new direction then maternity leave may be the perfect time to complete further study. Carefully consider the value that further education can offer. Contemplate whether or not a short course, TAFE certificate or higher education program is likely to support your career objectives. Research the specific skills and experience potential employers are looking for when hiring people for the roles you want. Recognise the skills you already possess and think outside the square to find ways you can develop others while on leave. For example, are there ways you can volunteer your services and in turn gain the experience you need? >

august 2014 | mychild

* 139

toddler

Believe in yourself Confidence is essential to anyone’s ability to move forward with conviction, particularly when a major change is involved. A lack of selfbelief is among the most common reasons why women returning to work hesitate or fail to pursue the careers they really want to. Too many are hesitant to stand firm in their expectations and as a consequence they can compromise, settling for roles and working conditions that work neither for them nor their families. Believe in and respect what you have to offer. Recognise the things you need to learn and change but also recognise what you are good at and the positive difference you can make. When taking new directions, choose to believe you are capable of learning what you need to and trust you’ll find solutions to any obstacles you encounter. Believing you will “get through” will help you find the courage needed to step into unknown territory and give things a go. Start by speaking positively about yourself. If you believe you are capable other people are more likely to see you that way. Most employers

Top tips 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 140

Be clear about what you want to do and achieve. Build your confidence and ability to promote what you offer. Have the courage to do what you really want to do. Plan ahead and transition your child’s routine over time. Know and value your strengths and your capabilities. Invest in your own development via further education. Have contingency plans in place – it’s always best to be prepared.

mychild | august 2014

and customers want to hire people who are self-assured and have the confidence to step into their role and bring their full potential to getting the job done. If you are uncertain about your ability to succeed, they will be too.

Value what you have to offer Too often women downplay the value of the knowledge and the skills they have acquired or honed through their experiences as a stayat-home parent. It’s essential that you think about the unpaid activities you’ve been doing and are prepared to sell the benefits of them. For example, it is often true to say that as a parent you have developed organisational, communication and multitasking skills that are valuable to any employer. All too often I meet women who fail to recognise the value of roles they have played in family businesses or on a volunteer basis. Raising money for a childcare centre, kinder or school often takes excellent persuading and influencing skills, the ability to think creatively about funding options and marketing knowhow. Even working in a school canteen requires money handling, customer service skills and teamwork – all of which are valuable.

Negotiate flexible working arrangements for yourself If flexible work conditions are important to you don’t wait until the last minute to have these conversations with your employer. Talk to your manager as soon as you can about what your options are. If you already know during your pregnancy you would like to return on different terms and conditions, explore the options your employer is able to accommodate. Don’t leave all of the thinking up to them either. Reflect on the tasks you perform and be ready to explain how a parttime or job share arrangement might work. Working from home some or all of the time is another option worth exploring. Be honest with yourself about whether or not it will

suit you. Are you disciplined with your time, and organised and focused enough to make it work? Reflect also on how well you will cope with the isolation that can come with working from home. Contemplate how lonely you may feel and the extent to which a lack of social interaction is likely to impact your motivation and ability to perform. As with any negotiation process, you’re more likely to achieve the outcome you are hoping for if your requests are reasonable. Therefore, it’s important to understand how your preferred work arrangements are likely to impact on your employer. Prepare your case in advance and be ready to talk about how any potential negative impacts to your colleagues and the business can be mitigated.

Prepare for your return Give some thought to how things will need to change at home when you return to work. Making necessary changes before you start back is likely to make your transition easier. Reflect on what your new daily routine will be

like and whether there are things you can start doing now to ease the transition. For example, starting your child in childcare ahead of time can help ensure they are well settled in before you go back to work. Not only will this help your child to adjust, it will also help you to get used to days without them in your care. Ask friends and family who’ve been where you are for advice. More experienced parents may be able to help you foresee challenges and take the steps necessary to avoid them happening. One useful piece of advice a friend gave me was to have a childcare back-up plan. When your arrangements fall through, knowing there is someone willing and able to look after your child with short notice can help to reduce the pressure you may feel. Some options worth exploring are friends, family, playgroup or school parents, or a neighbour. * A leadership and people-management specialist, Karen Gately is also the author of The People Manager’s Toolkit (John Wiley & Sons, $27.95). Visit karengately.com.au.

Case study Up until six weeks before her first child was born Fiona had been working as a team leader for a financial institution. Ten years after leaving her job, Fiona decided it was time for her to rejoin the workforce. Determined to find a way to balance her own desire to work with the needs of her family, Fiona took some advice from a life coach. They explored her options together and how she should go about pursuing them. The outcome was a complete change in direction – instead of looking for a job, Fiona decided to start her own business. Realising her talent and passion for interior design, she chose to turn her hobby into a career.

Over time she had built up a reputation for having exquisite taste and had often helped friends and family decorate their homes. Fiona knew she was able to draw on the support of these people and others within her school network to promote her new business. She completed a certificate at TAFE and at the same time began to promote the launch of what has now become a thriving business. From the beginning Fiona ensured her work life was in harmony with her family life. The hours she works and the places she is willing to travel to all depend on the needs of her family. At the heart of Fiona’s success is her belief that she is able to succeed.

august 2014 | mychild

* 141

TODDLER

Dealing with night terrors night terrors, which are not the same as nightmares, are scary for your child and you, but the good news is they are not harmful. Nicola Conville reports

night terror â&#x20AC;&#x201C; or nighttime waking â&#x20AC;&#x201C; occurs when a child is partially roused from deep, non-REM sleep. It differs from a nightmare in that it usually occurs in the early part of the night, an hour or two after the child has gone to sleep. Night terrors can start in the toddler years but normally occur in preschool and primary school-aged children, and luckily children usually outgrow them.

What happens? During a night terror, a child might sit or stand up, shake, move around, thrash and scream or cry. Their heart rate may be elevated, they may be sweaty and their breathing can quicken. Because they are only partially awake they will not respond to comforting and may lash out. Although their eyes may be open and they seem to be awake, the child often does not recognise their parents or carers, which can be distressing for everyone. This is one of the key ways you can differentiate between night terrors and nightmares, because a child waking up from a nightmare will usually respond to comfort from a parent.

142

mychild | august 2014

Can I prevent it? A regular bedtime and a consistent routine will help to prevent them as overtiredness can make night terrors more frequent. Fevers tend to make them worse too so try to keep their temperature down.

What can I do? Avoid waking them as a child who is woken during a night terror will be confused and disoriented and it may actually prolong the episode. Stay close at all times and if they are thrashing around, try to prevent them from hitting the sides of their bed or cot by holding them gently if necessary. When they become calm, tuck them in, or bring them back to bed if they have left it, and soothe them to sleep.

The next day Most kids will have forgotten about the episode by the next day so only discuss it if they bring it up first. As with nightmares, there are usually no long-term psychological effects. If the night terrors seem to be very frequent or violent or are causing you concern, see your GP. *

august 2014 | mychild

* 143

NEWS

PRESCHOOLER&BIG

Anxiety is a real worry

Recent research reveals at least one child in every classroom in Australia is suffering from generalised anxiety disorder, yet the condition goes largely unnoticed. Kids with this affliction are constantly worrying about things such as being on time, getting their homework right, their friendships and family relationships, their finances, being burgled or put in some type of uncomfortable situation. Professor Ron Rapee from the Department of Psychology at Macquarie University, NSW, says, ‘Some of the signs are always expecting the worst, stomach-aches, headaches, trouble sleeping due to worry, and asking questions over and over again about a new situation, such as, “What is going to happen” or “What if…?” But the strongest indicator of anxiety is avoidance – most anxious children have a range of things they just refuse to do.’ For further information on children’s anxiety disorders visit the Centre for Emotional Health at centreforemotionalhealth.com.au, where you will find a range of fact sheets, or speak to your family doctor.

7 signs

your child has worms 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 An itchy bottom.

Restless sleep.

Teeth-grinding.

Moodiness.

Bed-wetting.

Excessive nose rubbing.

Sudden increase or decrease in appetite.

With one in seven school-aged kids skipping brekkie, you may need a fast, gluten-free breakfast option kids will enjoy. Try the Envirokidz range by Nature’s Path. These rice- and corn-based cereals are low in sugar and have no added colours, flavours or preservatives. They’re $6.55 for 325g from bioliving.com.au.

144

mychild | august 2014

written By jo hegerty

bite size bonus!

G KIDS Sleep tight

If you’re struggling with bedtime battles, add a little relaxation to your routine. Dinosnores’ award-winning sleepy stories are designed by childcare and language experts to help kids slow down and get ready for sleep. Using sounds from nature, visualisation techniques and vocal rhythms, the 30-minute stories stimulate the imagination, encourage listening and help with language development. The range includes dinosaurs, fairies, mermaids and more. CDs are $19.99 at dinosnores.com.

sew together…

Even the most non-crafty parents can experience the satisfaction of creating something they love, says sewing teacher Trixi Symonds. Her new self-published book Sew Together Grow Together ($24.95) was developed for those who “can’t sew a button”, and features 20 sewing projects suitable for children as young as five with the help of Mum or Dad. Each project can be accomplished in an afternoon and requires only basic materials (so no sewing machine!). Sydney-based Trixi, who has been teaching her craft for 20 years, explains, ‘Hand-sewing is a simple, relaxing activity and kids love it.’ Buy the book online at colouredbuttons.com or in leading bookstores.

give them a vegie boost

Getting some kids to eat vegies takes time, patience and a few sneaky moves. Wendy Blume, author, mum and founder of Vegie Smugglers, shares these five tips:

Chop ingredients finely and add them to dinners that smell and taste great. When kids can’t identify ingredients, they’re less likely to pick the vegetables out. Use lure ingredients like croutons in a soup or pasta smothered in vegie sauce. The kids will go for the thing they like and eat the meal on the way, hopefully to discover that it’s tasty. Be realistic about the developmental stage your child is at and how it may affect their appetite. Toddlers eat less because they’re busy doing other things. If your kids hate anything green then start with a red capsicum or creamy chicken sauce. If they like bread, serve pancakes. If they like meat, pack meatballs full of good stuff. Relax. I know it’s hard to do, but remember this is another phase that will pass. Offer a variety of healthy foods and don’t succumb to their demands. Stay in charge and cook meals you’ll enjoy even if they reject them! The new Vegie Smugglers’ Kitchen Collection (Bright New Media, $34.95) is available from vegiesmugglers.com.au.

2 3 4 5

august 2014 | mychild

* 145

Preschooler&big k

shopping

whale of a time This Whale Lamp by Micky & Stevie is available for $109. The playful image is printed on pale-coloured timber veneer shade so the bright colours create a wonderful translucent effect with the wood grain. You can find more of this fun range at mickyandstevie.com.au.

all heart Check out Anarkid’s new range of prints! Made from uncoated 300gsm recycled stock, they’re priced at $19.95 for A4 size and $25.95 for the larger A3 option. To view more styles head to anarkid.com.au.

head in the clouds Priced at $1,450, Plyroom’s Dream Cloud loft bed is ideal for optimising space in a small room. The bed allows kids to create a hideaway cave with the addition of the Tenda curtain or it can be used as a study area/reading nook to keep the room more open. The bed is made from European FSC birch ply and you can buy it in a natural finish or with coloured accents. Head to plyroom.com.au to check out the range of compatible accessories.

146

mychild | august 2014

happy hamper

canvas this one

Keep things tidy in the bedroom or playroom with Mor-stor’s Charlie Laundry Hamper, $29.95. Available in boy and girl designs, Morstor’s products are “designed to be seen”. Head to mor-stor.com. au to discover more.

Retailing from $25, this mermaid name canvas by Pink Coyote is the creation of Sydney-based artist Maryanne Deans Kolek. Pieces can be personalised with a name, quote or poem in the style that your little one loves. Find out more at pinkcoyote.com.au.

kids on your bike Mores Design’s Petitpierre bikes, EUR1,499, come in black, white and rose, and the company says they are the most technologically advanced and lightest carbon running bikes available in Germany! The team has combined an elegant designer appearance with aerospace technology and here is the result. Visit mores-design.com.

slip, slop, slap Banana Boat’s Kids SPF50+ Roll On Sunscreen, $10.49, is ideal for fun in the sun with young children. With spring not far away, make sure your child’s face and body is protected with the highest UVA/UVB broad spectrum protection. Better still, this sunscreen is non-greasy, fragrance free, four hours water resistant plus mild and gentle. See bananaboat.com.au.

skate about

globetrotter

How awesome are these recycled timber Cruiser Skateboards by Tree Hugga? Made on the Gold Coast, they’re eco-friendly and a range of wheel colours are available. Priced at $199 for a 90cm size, head to treehugga.com.au.

Available in August, this inflatable Tiger Tribe Roly Poly Globe is $19.95 and comes in two colours – pink or blue. Designed for young children, the globe features brightly-coloured map illustrations along with special ballast weights at the bottom to ensure it always stays upright! Find yours and more fun toys at tigertribe.com.au.

scores of storage Mocka’s stylish storage solution, the Stacka, $19.95 each, is designed to be used for almost any room in the house – the office for storing files, the lounge room for magazines and DVDs or the kids’ rooms for toys. They’re made from medium density fibreboard with laminate plywood, stand at 25cm high and measure 40x40cm. Go to mocka.com.au.

august 2014 | mychild

* 147

preschooler

Play the game here author, mum of four, grandmother of 11 and greatgrandmother to two June Loves explains some of her favourite games and activities for other grandparents – and parents – to play with their kids

ll it takes is a little organisation and planning to have a stress-free and happy time with your grandchildren. Search your memory for activities you enjoyed doing as a child and later with your own kids. Choose some of your old favourites and give some new ones a go. You can begin by selecting the games and activities that fit in with your grandchildren’s interests. Next, gradually introduce new ones that will challenge your grandchildren to use their imagination and creativity, building and extending their skills along the way. Also, by changing your equipment and the materials, simple things to make and do with younger grandchildren can be transformed into more complicated activities that will work for your older grandchildren. Remember, if your game plan collapses, you can always fall back on the rule of serendipity where good things happen by chance! Often, simply tucking your grandchildren under your wing and involving them in your daily life can be the most rewarding activity of all.

148

mychild | august 2014

SOCK PUPPETS Sock puppets can be stored at your house for a rainy-day performance. What you need • Socks • Assorted materials such as felt, ribbon, wool, fabric scraps, buttons, feathers and sequins • Fabric glue • Needle and cotton What to do • Give each grandchild a sock to put on one of their hands. • Discuss with your grandchildren how they will make their puppet. What will it be – an animal, person or an imagined character? Where will the eyes go? How can they make a mouth? Can your grandchildren move their hand inside the sock to make a mouth? • The next step is for them to select materials, and glue or sew them onto their puppet. A hand inserted into the sock will help to prevent sewing or gluing both sides of the sock together. Younger children will need your assistance with this. >

august 2014 | mychild

* 149

preschooler

GROW-AND-EAT EGGSHELL GARDEN

BODY-SHAPE POSTER

Grandchildren will enjoy growing seeds indoors in these amusing containers – and they will be able to eat the results of their gardening. Cress grows very fast from seed and tastes good. What you need • Clean, empty eggshells – save these up when you’re cooking • Felt-tip pens • Cotton wool • A packet of cress seeds • Eggcups What to do • Decorate the eggshells with felt-tip pens. • Moisten the cotton wool with water and place it inside the eggshells. • Sprinkle some cress seeds on top of the cotton wool. • Stand the eggshells in eggcups and leave on a sunny window ledge. • Make sure the cotton wool is kept moist. • The eggshell gardens will grow quickly – in just a few days. • When the cress is as long as your finger, snip some off and serve it to your grandchildren in a salad or sandwich.

Kids will be able to see their actual size and shape when they make their poster. What you need • A sheet of paper as big as your grandchild – join several sheets together if necessary • Tape to join the sheets together • A thick pencil or crayon • Paint and brushes What to do • Put the paper on a smooth, hard floor surface. • Ask your grandchild to lie on the paper. Make sure their fingers are spread out so you can draw around each finger. • Draw around your grandchild with the pencil or crayon. • Now your grandchild can draw or paint their hair, face and clothes onto their body shape. • Cut out the finished shape to pin on the wall.

QUOITS These quoits are fun to make and play. What you need • Paper or plastic plates • Scissors • A stick How to play • Cut the centre out of the paper or plastic plates, making a ring. • Bang the stick into the ground. You will need it to stand up straight approximately 20cm out of the ground. • Each grandchild stands in a designated spot and tosses their homemade quoit in the direction of the stick. • Points are scored each time a quoit goes over the stick.

150

mychild | august 2014

PAINT WITH WATER Painting with water is a brilliant yet simple outdoor activity for three- to five-year-olds. What you need • A small paint bucket • Water • A paintbrush or pastry brush What to do • Half-fill the bucket with water and get the kids to “paint” the exterior walls of your house, the paths, trees, fences etc.

CLEAN-UP DAY Recruit your grandchildren to work with you to clean up your street, local park or area. What you need • Old clothes to wear • Strong gloves • Bags to collect litter • Food tongs What to do • Choose a local area that needs cleaning. • Wearing old clothes and gloves, the children can use food tongs to fill up the garbage bags with rubbish.

MARBLE BOMBS Many grandparents will remember owning a treasured collection of marbles. This is an easy marble game for younger grandchildren. What you need • Chalk • Eight to 10 marbles How to play • Draw a circle approximately 30cm wide on the ground. • Each player places two or three marbles inside the circle. • Each player takes turns to “bomb” the circle with one of their marbles. • The “bomb” marble should be dropped by holding an arm outstretched at eye level above the circle. Any marbles bombed out of the circle are taken by the bomber. • The game is over when there are no marbles left in the centre.

use the

code

D MYCHIL for a

kout at chec count 20% dis

INSECT WATCHING Insect watching is satisfying for children of all ages. There are always plenty of insects and bugs to observe. Encourage younger children to look for nibbled leaves, to count the spots on a ladybird, to listen and to draw the insects. What you need • Magnifying glass What to look for • Insect eggs. • Cocoons and caterpillars. • Butterflies and moths. • Ants and bees. • Slugs and snails. • Flies, aphids, beetles, ladybirds, centipedes, millipedes, grasshoppers, dragonflies and damselflies, and other bugs. * This is an extract from Modern Grandparenting by June Loves (Finch Publishing). For an excellent selection of activity ideas, pick up a paperback copy for $29.99 or e-book for $9.99 from good bookshops nationwide, online retailers and e-book stores.

Traditional play ...with a modern twist

To order online or find your local stockist visit

www.daju.com.au august 2014 | mychild

* 151

big kids

152

mychild | august 2014

Sibling rivalry Tired of having to break up fights between your kids? These tips from paediatrician Professor Kim Oates will help restore peace in your household

ibling rivalry is normal behaviour. Children argue and fight with each other. They can be aggressive. They might tell tales to their parents about their brother’s or sister’s misdemeanours to make themselves look good at the other child’s expense. And they can be intensely jealous, particularly when a new baby arrives. That’s normal. So if it occurs in your family, yours is not all that different from other families.

view it from their perspective If you put yourself in a young child’s position some behaviours can be easier to understand. You are the centre of your parents’ world. Everything revolves around you. Then a new baby arrives. She is very cute. Everybody says how lovely she looks. People come to visit, but it is a visit to look at the new baby, not at you. They bring her presents. She receives a lot more of your parents’ attention than you do, too. If you were that displaced and aggrieved child, admit it, of course you’d be jealous. Part of you likes having a new family member, but another part of you just wants to hurt her, to get rid of her, anything so that you can regain

your rightful place – a place where you once again have the exclusive love of your parents. Feelings of anger and jealousy don’t just occur when a new baby arrives. Kids fight with their younger or older siblings if they can’t get their own way, if they don’t want to share, and if they feel they aren’t getting enough attention from their parents. Sibling rivalry can be competition for a parent’s attention. This competition for parental attention can be obvious (fighting or complaining) or be hidden (non-cooperation, resentment or undermining), but it is often there. These feelings are normal. It’s how we as parents deal with them that matters.

The role of temperament A child’s temperament can also influence the way these feelings present themselves. If your child has a “challenging” type of temperament, he may have some difficulty controlling his feelings and may be more aggressive at times. A child with a slow-to-warm-up temperament may show jealous feelings in more subtle ways, such as hiding a favourite toy or slyly pinching a younger sibling and then looking the picture of innocence when their sibling bursts into >

august 2014 | mychild

* 153

big kids tears. The child with the “easy” temperament may show some of these feelings, but is more likely to fit in and be more tolerant of siblings.

Who do you focus on? When siblings fight, the common reaction is to focus on the person who started the problem. But remember even unacceptable behaviour can be attention seeking. Focusing on the child who started the fight feeds into their desire for attention – whether it be positive attention or negative. It acknowledges the person who is doing the hurting, but it doesn’t acknowledge the person who has been hurt.

When should you intervene? It’s tempting, but not wise, to always rush in and try to resolve every conflict. Children have to learn how to resolve their own conflicts. This is good training for later life. If we solve every problem that arises between our children, it can be exhausting for us and it just makes our children more dependent on us. There are times when we have to step in, particularly for reasons of safety, but many

“Children differ from each other. If we concentrate too much on their differences and make comparisons, one child is likely to feel less valued than the other” other problems can be left to the kids to sort out themselves. In doing so, they will gain skills in resolving conflict – especially if, on the times when we do step in, we do it in a way that gives the children ideas about resolving the conflict. Ways that can let them be in charge include using a kitchen timer so that after five minutes the other child can have her turn with the toy or by dividing a set of pencils into two halves with the children alternately choosing which ones they will use, then swapping the pencils

154

mychild | august 2014

over after an agreed time. Best of all, try being a good role model by saying things like, ‘Would you like to share this piece of cake with me?’ Don’t solve all of your children’s problems all of the time. Let them think of creative ways to solve problems themselves. They may need some guidance early on but learning to resolve conflict cooperatively and amicably is a major life lesson.

hostility & aggression A big trap in dealing with aggressive behaviour and fighting between siblings is to reinforce it by giving all your attention to the aggressor. Instead of dealing with the aggressor, first deal with the child who has been hurt. You could sympathise, acknowledging the hurt without even mentioning the aggressor. This gives zero attention to the child who was aggressive. Only after this, let the aggressive child know that the

simple solutions 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Describing children’s achievements is better than praising them. Describe, don’t compare. Focus on abilities, not disabilities. Share some regular time alone with each child. Avoid labels. Don’t reward telling tales. Recognise that you may have favourites. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge anger.

behaviour was unacceptable and use timeout or whatever means of discipline is appropriate for the child’s age and circumstances. Not dealing with hostility and aggression can make things worse. So can avoiding the opportunity to help children solve their own problems. The inability to deal with and resolve jealousy may continue into adult life, not just in family situations, but in other aspects too.

Focus on each child’s uniqueness

Finally, a different way of parenting! If you feel uncomfortable with the traditional authoritarian parenting style then Raising Competent Children is a “must-have”.

All children differ from each other, and if we concentrate too much on their differences and make comparisons, one child is likely to feel less valued than the other. Each of us has unique qualities. Parents, out of a sense of fairness, often strive to give their children equal love, such as by regularly telling them that they love them all the same. It can be more effective to concentrate on letting each of your children know how special they are in their own unique way, for example, ‘Jenny, you have a very special smile. I feel really good when you smile at me’ or ‘Tom, your kindness when your dog’s foot was hurt was really special. I’m so glad you’re part of our family.’ True statements like these can be made about the unique qualities of each child. They don’t compare one child with the other, instead they simply affirm the good qualities of each individual child. They may be best said during personal one-on-one time with each child.

It is full of inspiration on how to raise competent children and how to develop relationships based on equal dignity, integrity and authenticity, and how to support your children developing selfresponsibility – both personal and social. Raising Competent Children is easy to read and draws on examples from everyday life. The author, Jesper Juul, is the founder of FamilyLab and a renowned authority on the family. He has written a number of bestsellers and must-have books.

What if it doesn’t work?

FamilyLab ANZ www.familylab.com.au info@familylab.com.au PO Box 354 Summer Hill NSW 2130 02 9799 2424

Don’t worry! You won’t succeed all the time. Sibling rivalry can be hard to deal with. These tips will help in realigning your focus so that rivalry becomes less of an issue. Remember, you don’t have to be the perfect parent, just good enough. * This is an edited extract from 20 Tips for Parents by Professor Kim Oates (Finch, $24.99). Also available as an e-book ($9.99).

“Jesper Juul is one of the twelve leading enlighteners, thinkers and visionaries.” Die ZEIT Germany’s largest weekly newspaper

Visit “familylab anz” on facebook and try before you buy. Read 10 pages and receive free postage. Use the secure cart on Facebook.

Eu ro

pe No.1 , ov er best 50 0,0 selle 00 r cop ies

A new way of dev eloping relationships with children

ES PE R JU U L august J2014 | mychild

* 155

sold

You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and why his parents will always wave back. William D Tammeus

156

mychild | august 2014

august 2014 | mychild

* 157