My Child Magazine January 2016 Issue by My Child Magazine

ISSUE 52 - JANUARY 2016

MAGAZINE.COM.AU

literacy DEVELOPING

WITH YOUR TODDLER

STARTING SCHOOL enrolment& preparation

DAYS OF SCHOOL

lunches ANIMALS ROCK We interview Shelley Craft and Beau Young about their new Kids Band

18 52 CONTENTS

COVER STORIES

EVERY MONTH

DEVELOPING LITERACY

EDITORS LETTER

5 DAYS OF LUNCHES

EDITOR PICKS

MY CHILD KIDS

INTERVIEW: ANIMALS ROCK

104

STARTING SCHOOL: Enrolling and Preparing your child

106

PRODUCT OF THE MONTH

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24 62

ANIMALS ROCK Interview with Shelley Craft and Beau Young DADDY BLOG The Preparation

YOUR CHILD DEVELOPING LITERACY

INSPIRING READS

8 18 74

POSITIVE ATTENTION AND YOUR CHILD

A BRAVE NEW WORLD Interview with Bernadette Black

GETTING STARTED WITH CHILDCARE STARTING SCHOOL: Enrolling and Preparing your child

92 98

INDEPENDENT SLEEP

SCHOOL REFUSAL

PREGNANCY

14 68

WORKING AND PREGNANT BUYING BABY GEAR

LIFESTYLE

30 40 42 52 64

GETTING THE BALANCE RIGHT WITH CO-PARENTING TWO PEOPLE ONE RELATIONSHIP GET THE LOOK – INTERIORS 5 DAYS OF LUNCHES

BOOK REVIEWS

SHOPPING

28 34 78 96 102

PRODUCTS WE LOVE

SHOP KIDS FASHION

TOY REVIEWS

ORICOM BABY MONITOR REVIEW STARTING SCHOOL WITH FRIDGE-TO-GO

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EDITOR IN CHIEF BEAU MEDINA

DEPUTY EDITOR ANNA DIXON

ASSISTANT EDITOR SHARRY FOUROTAN ANDJA CURCIC

ART DIRECTOR ANNA DIXON

SALES DIRECTOR BIANCA MEDINA

CONTRIBUTING EXPERTS LITTLE READING ROOM PETITE VINTAGE INTERIORS LUKE DENHAM

EDITORIAL ENQUIRIES EDITORIAL@MYCHILDMAGAZINE.COM.AU

ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES ADVERTISE@MYCHILDMAGAZINE.COM.AU

CONTACT: CRE8 PUBLICATIONS PHONE: 0406 295 555 8 GROSE ST, PARRAMATTA, NSW 2150

My Child magazine and mychildmagazine.com.au are wholly owned by Little Blue Dog (ABN 611 996 81 521). No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in the company or in My Child or mychildmagazine.com.au. My Child contains general information only and does not purport to be a substitute for health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. Reproduction of any material without written permission by the publisher is strictly forbidden. We cannot accept responsibility for material lost or damaged in the post or for any unsolicited manuscripts and photographs. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.

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january 2016 | mychild Always read the label. Use only as directed. If symptoms persist consult your healthcare professional.

e EDITOR’S LETTER So we welcome another year, and I can confidently predict that 2016 will be a momentous year for us. So much has changed about our humble publication and I have a feeling that just like a good wine, over time, it will only get better!

42 58

We have added tremendously to our repertoire, topics such as the Inspiring Stories section. This month we’re featuring Bernadette Black, a woman whose own personal struggle as a teenage mother led her to start an incredible charity, Brave – this is a must read. We’ve also got a celebrity interview with Shelley Craft and Beau Young about their all so hip and happening kids group, Animals Rock. We have also jam-packed this month’s magazine with our new content writers who share with us awesome new interiors (nursery ideas) as well as 2 new resident writers for book and toy reviews, so that when we are spending our hard earned cash we are doing so with some level of confidence on these products. But this month really focuses on back to school for our kiddies. We have articles for getting them ready for school and/or daycare, as well as an article to help if your child refuses to go to school, yes this happens. We’ve also got brilliant lunch ideas and our resident dad blogger who chimes in on the back to school topic. Hopefully our informative reads will really help with all the transitions happening in your family life right now. We are gaining more and more attention from readers for My Child Magazine, so thank you for all your support over the last few months and years for that matter. Our digital site has been strengthened considerably in the past year and is now attracting three times as much traffic as it did a year ago. There’s much to look forward to as we take a break. All it leaves for us now is to wish you and your family a Happy Christmas and for us all to give some thought to those less fortunate than ourselves.

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editor

PICKS

WHO SAID BACK TO SCHOOL STATIONARY IS JUST FOR KIDS

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: HIPPO BOOK ENDS $85.00 top3.com.au, GOLD DIPPED NOTEBOOKS $24.95 etsy.com, DESK ORGANISER $115.00 downthatlittlelane.com.au, WOOD & PASTEL LAMP $99.95 beaconlighting.com.au, PENCIL HOLDER $43.68 dawanda.com, NOTEBOOK $12.95 circlinghound.com.au, WOOD STEEL INSULATED BOTTLE $49.99 biome.com.au, CLOTH LUNCH SKIN $13.95 biome.com.au, BROWN INSULATED LUNCH BAG $35.95 isgift.com, LEMON NOTEBOOK $7.95 kikki-k.com, WOODEN LAMP WITH EDISON BULB $89.00 beaconlighting.com.au, DACHSHUND BOOKENDS $39.95 yellowoctopus.com.au, STORAGE BAG $22.00 cranmorehome.com.au january 2016 | mychild

TODDLER

DEVELOPING

Literacy LITERACY IS MOST COMMONLY UNDERSTOOD AS READING AND WRITING. BUT BEFORE CHILDREN CAN READ AND WRITE, THEY NEED TO LEARN ABOUT SOUNDS, WORDS, LANGUAGE, BOOKS AND STORIES.

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Literacy is most commonly understood as reading and writing. But before children can read and write, they need to learn about sounds, words, language, books and stories. You have a vital role to play in helping your child with early literacy development.

ENCOURAGING LITERACY DEVELOPMENT The growth of literacy skills is a vital part of your child’s overall development. It’s the foundation for doing well at school, socialising with others, developing independence, managing money and working. But before your child learns to read and write, he needs to develop the building blocks for literacy – the ability to speak, listen, understand, watch and draw. With time, and your support, your child will also come to understand the connection between letters on a page and spoken sounds. For this to happen, she’ll need plenty of experience with: • pictures and objects – how you can use words to talk about them • letters and words – their shapes, sounds and names • sounds – how words can rhyme, begin and end with the same letters, be broken up into parts (for example, syllables), be formed by blending different sounds, and so on. This will prepare your child for school, when he starts learning the more formal aspects of literacy. You can help your child’s literacy development by communicating with her, reading with her and teaching her about sounds in ways that are fun for both of you. The language experiences that children have before they start school form multiple and powerful brain connections. These connections are used for language, thinking and understanding. Without activities like

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talking, singing and reading, the brain doesn’t develop this rich network of connections.

COMMUNICATING: ITS IMPORTANCE IN LITERACY DEVELOPMENT Bonding and interacting with your baby or child helps create a sense of security in him, and a desire for him to interact with you in return. You might notice your baby responds to your smiles and baby talk. She might try to imitate your sounds and facial expressions. When you repeat your toddler’s babble, it lets her know she’s communicating. Singing to her teaches her about the rise and fall of sounds. It also introduces her to the music and stories of her culture. All of these back-and-forth interactions are getting your child ready for talking and socialising.

WHAT YOU CAN DO Copy the sounds your baby makes and don’t be afraid to use baby talk – it helps babies understand how language is put together. • Sing with your child. • Talk to your child about the everyday things you’re doing and seeing together. For example, ‘Let’s get the washing now’, ‘Look at the red bird’ or ‘Yum, what a nice lunch we’re having’. • Name people, items at the supermarket and special features on different objects – for example, the velcro on shoes or buttons on a shirt. • Talk about feelings and chat about whether your child is happy or sad. You can help out by giving him the words to describe his emotions. This can help him understand how others feel too. • Listen to your child. Follow her lead and talk about things she brings up. If she asks a question, give her the chance to

A CHILD LEARNS THE MEANINGS OF ABOUT 1000 WORDS A YEAR FROM BIRTH TO THE START OF SCHOOL. BY THE AGE OF 10, CHILDREN ARE LEARNING MOST OF THEIR NEW WORDS THROUGH READING – UP TO ABOUT 12 000 WORDS IN GRADE 4 AND 80 000 BY THE END OF HIGH SCHOOL.

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come up with answers before you step in. For example, you can respond by saying, ‘What do you think that is?’, ‘What do you think it’s used for?’ • Share stories with your child. You could share funny or interesting stories from your childhood or tell him about your family’s past. You could take turns creating a story together. • As your child gets older, teach her that words can be broken down into segments. For example, ‘man’ is made up of m-a-n. Also show how parts of spoken words can be blended to produce whole words. For example, r-u-n or r-un or ru-n makes ‘run’. • You can also play a game that gets your child thinking about the different sounds in words. For example, ‘Say the word butter. Say it again but don’t say “but” ’. Your child might say ‘er’ or ‘ter’. This helps your child understand that words are made up of sounds.

READING: ITS IMPORTANCE IN LITERACY DEVELOPMENT It’s a good idea to read with your child often – you can start from birth onwards. Children who have had experiences with language and print from an early age are more likely to develop a solid literacy foundation. Reading with your child: • gives you enjoyable time with him as you share an activity, looking at pictures and playing with words • helps him start to appreciate what books have to offer, and shows him that books can give both pleasure and information • helps him learn the sounds of letters in spoken language • helps him understand that stories aren’t coming from you, but from the words on the page – this teaches him about how the printed word works • helps him develop a larger vocabulary, which increases his understanding, pleasure and interest in reading (this is because books offer more unusual words

than are used in everyday language or on television) • improves his thinking and problem-solving skills • can start a conversation about a new concept, an event or something that interests your child.

WHAT YOU CAN DO • Read with your child. You can start from birth, but it’s never too late to begin. • When your child is old enough, encourage her to hold the book and turn the pages. This will help her start to understand that the book should be a certain way up, and that pages are always turned in the same direction. • Slide your finger underneath the words as you read them, pointing out each word. This indicates to your child that we always start on the left and move to the right when reading English, helping him start to understand the rules of reading. • Point out pictures and talk about the pictures your child points to. • Make the sounds of animals or other objects in the book – have fun!

RHYME: ITS IMPORTANCE IN LITERACY DEVELOPMENT Rhyming is a great way to teach children the connection between the sound of a word and how it’s written.

WHAT YOU CAN DO • Play games that involve rhyming. Rhyming words helps children appreciate beginning and ending sounds – for example, ‘cat, pat and mat’. You can play them at any time – in the car, while shopping or at the dinner table. • Play games that involve the sound and rhythm of words. You could try ‘I Spy’ and tongue twisters such as ‘She sells seashells by the seashore’. • Read rhyming books, such as The Cat in the Hat or Doodledum Dancing.

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& pregnant WORKING

Working while pregnant can be a positive experience â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and also physically, emotionally and financially challenging. Here are some tips for managing pregnancy symptoms, working through pregnancy and planning your return to work.

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PREGNANCY

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MANAGING PREGNANCY SYMPTOMS AT WORK Working while pregnant – especially during the early months – can be tricky if you’re going through morning sickness and feeling really tired. Here are some tips that might help you manage these pregnancy symptoms: • Take regular breaks at work if you can. • At home, rest when you can and go to bed early if possible. This can help you start the day well rested.

• Wear comfortable shoes and clothes. • Eat a light breakfast. • Eat small, regular meals. Being tired and hungry can make morning sickness worse. • Try snacking on healthy, carbohydrate-rich foods like cheese and crackers, toast, rice, cereal or fruit. • Drink more water than usual to help keep your body at a regular temperature.

WORKING THROUGH PREGNANCY Here are some things you can do to help make working while pregnant a comfortable and positive experience. MAKING THINGS EASIER • Consider what could make your life easier at work, such as travelling to work outside of peak hour, having a temporary car space or working from home, if possible. • Try to plan meetings so people come to you, or set up a conference call, if this is an option for you. • If you’re a pregnant casual worker, it’s OK to

let your manager know what your ideal working hours are. For example, if you work most efficiently after 11 am when morning sickness has eased, your employer might be able to give you these hours, especially if you’ll be more productive at these times. • Think ahead about how to respond to tricky situations. For example, people might comment on your belly or even touch your belly. It’s OK to tell people not to do this if it makes you uncomfortable – it’s your body.

ORGANISING THINGS AT WORK Depending on your job, you might need to let your colleagues, workmates and/or clients know how your role at work might change. • Start planning a handover by noting the parts of your job that you’ll need to give to others when you’re on leave. Schedule training and handover activities well in advance so you don’t find yourself doing too much or getting stressed before going on leave. • If things don’t go to plan and you’re feeling overwhelmed, tell your manager and discuss ways to manage your workload.

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GOING TO PREGNANCY APPOINTMENTS • Schedule medical appointments and time off in advance, where possible. • If you’re a casual worker, you might be able to organise your pregnancy appointments at times you’re not working. Or you might be able to work public holidays (which usually offer a higher rate of pay) to make up for income you lose when you take time off for appointments. Whether you’re a permanent or casual worker, it’s a good idea to find out more about your pregnancy and work rights and entitlements.

PLANNING YOUR RETURN TO WORK Many working parents say they wish they had thought more about preparing for their return to work before going on parental leave. This can make the experience of returning to work more positive and less stressful. Planning ahead is great, but bear in mind that your ideas and plans might change after you give birth. You might want to stay at home longer than you first thought, or return to work earlier than planned. There are rules about these things, so you’ll need to discuss them with your employer. It’s a good idea to give yourself time to think, talk and negotiate. WORK AND FAMILY CONSIDERATIONS • Think about your career goals, family arrangements and work-life balance. This can help you work out your ideal return to work, which you can discuss with your employer. • Talk with your partner if you have one about when you might like to return to work and what this means for your partner and family. • Talk with your partner about whether they might take some time off work after baby is born, and about how you plan to share the child care when you return to work. PRACTICAL MATTERS • Think about your financial situation. For example, it can be useful to calculate in advance how long

you can afford not to do paid work. You might be able to get some government parenting payments. • Look at child care options, if you plan to use child care. Depending on where you live and the type of child care you want, you might need to put your child’s name on a waiting list before your baby is born. You could also look at sharing a nanny or ask about grandparents caring for your child. WORK ARRANGEMENTS • Check your employment contract and find out what your rights are. • Talk with your employer about how to stay in touch with your workplace during your leave. Many employers have informal arrangements (including intranet access) or more formal events such as return to work seminars. You can do up to 10 days paid work while on leave if this work is to help you ‘keep in touch’ – for example, by becoming familiar with changed systems or getting used to work again. • Talk about return to work options with your employer, including new or more flexible work arrangements or roles. Usually your employer must think about this thoroughly and come to a reasonable decision. Think about where you might be able to compromise or negotiate. • Talk with your employer about breastfeeding at work, including facilities where you can breastfeed, express breastmilk and/or refrigerate milk, and times when you can have a break to breastfeed.

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The Fair Work Ombudsman has lots of practical information about parental leave and returning to work from parental leave.

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GETTING STARTED WITH

Childcare THE KEY TO MAKING CHILD CARE WORK IS DOING WHAT BEST SUITS YOU AND YOUR CHILD. HERE ARE SOME IDEAS TO HELP YOU START PLANNING YOUR CHILDCARE CHOICES.

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TODDLER

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IF YOU NEED TO PACK FOOD FOR YOUR CHILD TO TAKE TO CHILDCARE, THERE ARE A FEW THINGS TO REMEMBER. MEAT OR DAIRY PRODUCTS BEING TRANSPORTED FROM HOME TO THE CENTRE SHOULD BE PUT IN AN INSULATED LUNCH BOX WITH A FROZEN DRINK BOTTLE TO KEEP THE TEMPERATURE BELOW 5ยบC.

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SIGNING UP EARLY FOR CHILD CHOOSING CARE FOR YOUR CARE CHILD Thinking well ahead is a must if you want your child to go to the childcare service of your choice. For example, you might have limited choice in your area, or you might not know how long the waiting lists are. You should organise childcare early because: • there’s usually high demand for places • most formal child care services have waiting lists • regional and rural areas often have limited child care facilities. It’s a good idea to register your child with services even if you’re only considering a return to work or other change. Taking the time to register will mean you’ll have the option later. Occasional care and playgroups are funded by the government to offer support and respite for at-home parents. These can also fill fast. To find available childcare places in your area, phone the Child Care Access Hotline on 1800 670 305 (free call).

The different types of child care all offer slightly different things to you and your child. You might want to have your child cared for in a home environment, or you might prefer the structure and formality of a childcare centre. You might try several different types of childcare before you find what works best for your family. To get a better idea of what’s on offer, you could visit local child care services or carers to see what you think of them. Trust your own reaction and instinct, as well as doing research on the options available. If it feels right, chances are it will be. If you plan to use a childcare centre it’s a good idea to ask yourself the following questions. • Are their structured activities, naps and mealtimes planned? • Is this plan well displayed for parents? • Is there a chance for quiet time or rest during the day? • Will staff report back fully on your child’s day? • Is there easy-to-access information about the centre’s policies, level of staff training, hygiene and discipline procedures?

STARTING CHILDCARE: WHAT THE SETTING Is the environment stimulating and AGE? the centre or home have a relaxed There’s no best time to start childcare – it all depends on what suits your family and child.

safe? Does and happy atmosphere? Do the staff spend time talking to and encouraging the children?

There are some advantages to having your children, especially a newborn, at home longer, including: • easier breastfeeding • a chance for you and your child to bond • time to get to know your child • one-to-one nurturing contact with your child.

•

The first time you leave your child in care, no matter what his age, is likely to be challenging. Some children will cry the first few times you leave them, but things usually get easier after this.

•

Having a good relationship with your child care workers is a good start. They’ll let you know if your child’s having trouble settling in.

• • •

Do you feel welcome to discuss any issues with staff? Can you and your child do an orientation program? Can you drop in at any time to visit and observe your child in the environment? Will other family members be encouraged to be involved in activities? Does the centre/home seem bright and interesting, with plenty of light and lots of toys and activities? Will your child have the chance to explore and create? Do toileting, nappy changing and rest times meet individual needs? Check the ratio – for example, is there at least one carer for every four babies?

• Is there plenty of room and outdoor

december january 2016 2015 | mychild

equipment for your child to enjoy? • Is a healthy selection of snacks and drinks offered? • Are meals provided, or do you need to supply them? • Do snacks and meal arrangements meet children’s individual needs? • Does the centre follow Australian dietary guidelines for children? The centre should be able to show you their menu, if applicable, and policy on nutrition.

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GENERAL INFORMATION

You might also want to ask: • What happens when my child’s sick? • Will I pay for days we don’t attend? • What happens if I’m late for a pick-up? • Who else can pick up my child? • What do I pack for my child? • How can I help my child adjust to child care?

INFORMATION CARERS

GIVE

Once you’ve chosen the child care setting that best suits your child and you, you’ll need to give some information about your child to her new carers. This is likely to include: • information about your child’s wellbeing, including sleeping patterns, emotional and social preferences, and any unusual events that might be affecting her • any food allergies, intolerances or other medical conditions your child has • your child’s hygiene practices • learning activities your child enjoys • any concerns you have about your child’s development • any cultural or individual differences in practice that need to be considered sensitively and positively.

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YOUR CHILD’S IMMUNISATION STATUS MAY AFFECT YOUR CHILDCARE OPTIONS. From 1 January 2016, new laws mean that your childcare options may be affected if you can’t show that your child’s vaccinations are up to date.

QHIM0005_MC

If you’re up to date, you’ve got nothing to worry about. But, if you’re behind schedule, help is available. Call 13 HEALTH (13 43 25 84), ask your GP or immunisation provider, or visit qld.gov.au/vaccinate

Download VacciDate FREE from your app store.

Apple and the Apple logo are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the U.S. and other countries. App Store is a service mark of Apple Inc.

Authorised by the Queensland Government, George St, Brisbane.

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THE

DADDY

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THE

PREPARATION BLOGGER LUKE DENHAM IS A SINGLE FATHER DRAWING FROM HIS OWN EXPERIENCE AND WRITES HIS BLOG NOT JUST FOR SINGLE PARENTS OR FATHERS, BUT FOR ALL PARENTS.

We can either have 13 years of hell or 13 years of, well, not so much fun but calm preparation. Every year our children have to return to school. From the moment they start till their final year there are always going to be some trials and tribulations. It can be a daunting time because we all remember what itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like not to have to make lunches, drop them off, pick them up and endure hours of extra-curricular 26

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activities. We all remember the relief at the end of a school year. The huge exhale. Strangely, there can also be a lot of excitement and a whole world of possibilities. Now I was never the most organised parent when it came to the whole return to school thing. There was no way in the world I was going to start covering books - arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t they already in a cover? - nor was I purchasing a new dictionary every year. That did drive me mental. How many dictionaries do

they need? Seriously, I think that every book list that came out demanded, yes, demanded that we purchase a new dictionary. What I did do was try and install a sense of calm excitement about the new year, school or grade that my children were going into. Nothing over the top just realistic expectations that everything was ok and that I was always there to support them. There was a routine that I would

use every year. The week before school started I would adjust their bedtimes and their wake up times so they were as close to what they would have at school. If it was a new school, we would go and visit the school and try to work out pick ups and drop-offs. We would work out bus routes and, if needed, actually catch the bus to and from the new school. That way it wasn’t such a rude shock to them. They were already slipping back into the routine. In that week before we would always organise their uniforms and book lists. Stationery is

always the highlight of every child’s journey back to school. It’s like a christmas stocking but with more purpose. These are their tools and you can sense their desire to put them to use. Although, I’m sure we ended up with about 7000 rulers and compasses in this household. Make sure you have a wad of cash handy or at least a holiday bruised credit card. Once we lugged all the new books home it was always exciting for my children to name everything, organise their pencil cases and pack it all up in their new

bags. For some reason my daughter always seemed a lot more interested in this. I’m not sure if it’s a girl/boy thing or that her personality was just that way inclined. I would just shake my head in amazement at her zeal and my son’s lack thereof. That last week of holidays is a very important time to settle down and let the euphoria of the holidays sink into their memories. The beach, Christmas, family gatherings, time with friends and late nights staying up watching movies become something they can look forward to again next holidays. It always amazed me how people would try and cram everything into this last week and the children would be left frazzled and exhausted. I always felt it was time for them to accept and look forward to the other part of their lives. School. I would emphasise to my children that school was a tool. Something that they could either disregard and endure or something they could use to their advantage. I left it up to them. Sure, I would actively encourage them to embrace whatever they did, but with school they had to have an innate sense that it was their domain and something they could actually enjoy. Incredible as it may seem. Perhaps it came from the dire dread of my school years, like getting dragged over broken glass. There was no way I was going to let my children go through that. Despite all these good intentions, there were still tears and misery. Yet, there were also lots of hugs and smiles.

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backTO SCHOOL

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PRODUCTS WE LOVE

Skip Hop - Forget Me Not

Forget Me Not - Backpack & Lunch Bag Set

No more forgotten school lunches! Easily spot when lunch is missing through the window on the backpack. This set includes a backpack, insulated lunch bag and reflective clip-on. Forget Me Not Lunch Kit Take meals on the go with our cool-for-school kit! Your big kid will love this colourful kit, great for toting lunch to school or a snack to the park. This four-piece set features easy-snap clips and a rubber seal that locks the lid in place to prevent leaks. Forget Me Not Insulated Food Jar This colourful stainless steel container keeps food warm or cold for your big kid. Store the spork, or more utensils, in this handy built-in holder for on-the-go convenience. Forget Me Not Straw Bottle Featuring a flexible straw, flip lid and grab-me strap, this cool-for-school sports bottle is perfect for big kids with places to go. Holds 350ml.

$69.95 - FOR YOUR NEAREST STOCKIST VISIT BLOOMANDGROWASIA.COM

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MARRIAGE

Balance GETTING THE

RIGHT WITH CO-PARENTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER MIGHT HAVE ENDED, BUT YOU’RE BOTH STILL PARENTS TO YOUR CHILDREN. IT’S IN YOUR CHILDREN’S BEST INTERESTS FOR YOU TO FIGURE OUT HOW YOU CAN BOTH BE INVOLVED IN THEIR LIVES.

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ESTABLISHING CO-PARENTING

It’s not easy to create new parenting arrangements when a relationship breaks down. You might both want as much time as possible with the kids, or your ex-partner might not want to see them. You might see equal time as a fair solution – then again, you might not have the resources to do this. Whatever your situation, you and your ex-partner need to make firm decisions about how you’ll parent your children now. You might be able to sort this out together. Here are some tips for setting up your new arrangements.

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DEVELOP A CO-PARENTING PLAN

A parenting plan is a useful way to set out the details of your new relationship. To create one, you and your ex-partner need to discuss your rights and responsibilities with regard to your kids, and set up a way to work out disputes. A shared parenting plan should address: • a custody or visitation schedule • education • finances • children’s medical needs or concerns • discipline and household rules • holidays and special events • decision-making guidelines.

HAVE A CONTINGENCY PLAN

Once your arrangement is in place, you need to agree on what happens if one of you needs to change plans or has a change in circumstances. You might be able to discuss this in person, on the phone or via email. If you can’t talk by yourselves, seek help – perhaps from a family dispute resolution practitioner.

AIM FOR A FLEXIBLE ATTITUDE

It benefits everyone to be a little bit flexible january 2016 | mychild

KEEP YOUR EX-PARTNER UP TO DATE

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IT’S GREAT IF YOUR CHILDREN ARE LOVED AND CARED FOR BY THEIR OTHER PARENT, AND ARE SAFE IN THAT PERSON’S CARE. KIDS NEED TIME WITH BOTH PARENTS – AND TIME APART FROM THEM CAN GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO REST, RELAX AND PURSUE RELATIONSHIPS, HOBBIES OR INTERESTS.

about your arrangements. For example, if your ex-partner is sometimes late for pick-ups, it might help to be ready with alternative plans. Try to keep in mind that getting upset about a change your ex-partner makes will only make it difficult the next time you need to change things. Your plans will also need to adapt as your children grow and their circumstances change – for example, when they start school or take up a new sport.

Children benefit when their other parent knows about their interests and keeps in touch. Even if other parents live far away, kids still benefit from regular email, phone and letter contact, particularly if it goes both ways.

PLAN AHEAD FOR TASKS AND EVENTS

You might want your ex-partner to be involved in or take responsibility for tasks like child and family health visits, school outings or child care events. You can also contact your child’s school to make sure your ex-partner gets duplicates of school records. All this helps your ex-partner be more involved in your kids’ lives, which is good for everyone.

GIVE YOUR EX-PARTNER SOME TIME TO LEARN THE ROPES

Until your separation, you might have done most of the caring for your children. In this case, some ex-partners might take a little time to get the hang of a one-on-one relationship with their children.

BE PREPARED FOR SOME NEGATIVE FEELINGS

When your children are with their other parent, you might feel a sense of loss, loneliness and disappointment. Planning ahead can help you cope when your children are away. If possible, agree in advance on the kind of contact you will have with the kids during these periods. For example, you might have goodnight phone calls, emails or text messages. Try to put on a happy face for your children – this will help them with the transition.

DEALING WITH SPECIAL CELEBRATIONS

Sometimes the biggest days of the year – for example, special religious festivals or holidays – are the hardest times to work out parenting plans that suit everyone. Being alone on a significant day without your child is difficult for many separated parents. Some parents split special days in half. For others, it works better to alternate parenting on special days every year. You can also hold celebrations before or after the special day. If you can, hold on to some traditions that you previously shared, like opening presents in bed in the morning or sharing a special dessert. It can also help to talk with your kids in advance about what the arrangements will be for their birthdays and other special days. You might find you need to talk to your children’s other parent about when you want to give gifts and what sort of gifts are suitable. For example, you might decide only on special occasions, or

small gifts once a month. Try to share information about the larger gifts you might buy for a special occasion, to avoid doubling up. With all these decisions, try to step into your children’s shoes and figure out what will work best for them. You might have to make some compromises.

WHEN YOUR EX-PARTNER CAN’T BE INVOLVED

Sometimes keeping your kids in contact with your ex-partner isn’t possible, or might not be possible for periods of time. This could happen if: • your relationship involved violence or abuse • your ex-partner has died, is in prison or has moved far away • your ex-partner chooses not to have contact with the children. In cases like these, your relationships with other trusted adults can help. They can offer care and support and be role models for your children. These people might be members of your extended family, close friends, teachers, neighbours or coaches.

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shop

KIfa

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IDS ashion

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SHOPPING

january 2016 | mychild

shop

KIDS

WHAT’S IN OUR STORES THIS MONTH BABY

GIRLS Embroidered Top $15.00 rrp Trim Shorts $12.00 rrp TARGET.COM.AU

UNDER

Striped Panel Dress $25.00 rrp Jewelled Flats $15.00 rrp TARGET.COM.AU

UNDER

Crinkle Dress $44.95 rrp

MYER.COM.AU

Sequin Zebra Tee $19.95 rrp ZigZag Denim Short $54.95 rrp Wrap Sandal $39.95 rrp MYER.COM.AU

SPLURGE Zimmerman Jumpsuit $105.00 rrp Roc Sandal $69.95 rrp Guess Foil Print Dress $79.95 rrp

DAVIDJONES.COM.AU

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shop

KIDS

WHAT’S IN OUR STORES THIS MONTH BABY

BOYS

UNDER

Mooks Tee $15.00 rrp Mooks Shorts $15.00 rrp Kodi Thongs $8.00 rrp

Suit Romper $15.00 rrp

TARGET.COM.AU

UNDER

Tee and Boardshort Set $34.95 rrp MYER.COM.AU

SPLURGE

Hugo Boss Shirt $89.95 rrp Hugo Boss Shorts $89.95 rrp

DAVIDJONES.COM.AU

Chopper Tee $39.95 rrp Gingham Shorts $29.95 rrp Slip On Sneaker $44.95 rrp MYER.COM.AU

Armani Jr Polo $109.95 rrp Armani Jr Chino Shorts $149.95 rrp Walnut Sandal $59.95 rrp DAVIDJONES.COM.AU

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SHOPPING

january 2016 | mychild

MARRIAGE

TWO PEOPLE ONE

relationship

People generally seem to have two conflicting needs in relationships: We want a sense of space and autonomy, of being allowed to do our own thing. Our independence is important to us. We also want to be close to someone else, to know that we are loved and accepted for who we are, despite our faults. We need to know that we matter deeply to someone else, and that we are valued by them. In other words, we long for intimacy.

INTIMACY IN

relationships

Intimacy is also about being able to accept and share in your partner’s feelings, about being there when they want to let their defences down. Intimacy often doesn’t need words, but being able to put feelings and experiences into words makes intimacy more likely to occur. Intimacy involves being able to share the range of feelings and experiences we have as human beings - pain and sadness, as well as happiness and love. Intimacy is important in relationships, but is not always easily achieved.

INTIMACY AND

sex

For most couples, one of the times when they are most aware of being intimate is when they are making love. This is not surprising - sexual activity involves trust and taking the risk of being vulnerable with each other. It is a time when, both physically and emotionally, partners let themselves get close to each other. Sex cannot, however, carry all the burden of intimacy in the relationship. Being able to share feelings of anger, hurt, sadness, pride - the full range of emotional experiences - is also necessary. Without this, some couples find that after a while they begin to feel lonely and unappreciated however good 40

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their love-making might be physically. It is sometimes necessary for a couple to learn how to be close and express affection for each other without this leading straight on to lovemaking. This can be particularly difficult for some men. They may have been brought up to believe that showing their feelings is somehow a betrayal of their masculinity. The more a couple is intimate with each other in ways other than sex, the more rewarding their sex life often becomes. Sex and intimacy are not the same, but they are closely related and easily influence each other.

INTIMACY AND

separateness

Real intimacy is when two independent people choose to come together. The words of Kahlil Gibran from the poem “The Prophet” are often quoted about the balance of intimacy and separateness in relationships. ‘Let there be spaces in your togetherness ... Love one another, but make not a bond of love ... Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone ... And stand together, yet not too near together; For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.’

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GET THE LOOK:

interiors

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INTERIORS

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Armadillo&Co Marigold $599 rrp

Hello Henley Mobile POA

KSL LIVING Storage Bag $250 rrp

Love Elodie You Are So Loved Wall Decal $99.80 rrp

GET THE LOOK:

interiors

When it comes to childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s interiors, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no trend hotter than pastels and metallics. The Incy Interiors ellie cot is the centrepiece of this beautiful nursery that we designed recently. Mixed with peach and grey, the nursery feels modern but with the addition of timber and a textured rug, the space feels warm and inviting. INTERIORS BY

Down that Little Lane Gold Spot Cushion $55.00 rrp

little me little you Knot Cushion $68.00 rrp

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Incy Interiors Ellie Cot $799 rrp

INTERIORS

january 2016 | mychild

Greater Good Lulu Lucky Swan Print $50.00 rrp

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Down that Little Lane Hedgehog Handmade Cushion $75.00 rrp My Sweet Prints Eat Play Love Repeat Poster $32 rrp

Down that Little Lane Gold Foil Heart Cushion $45.00 rrp Down that Little Lane Gold Bow Baby Moccasins $29.95 rrp

norsu interiors The Paper bag $18 rrp

Jasper and Eve Cushion with polka dots $55 rrp

Noah and Bowie Bears Blanket $159 rrp

zimba Nel Lusso Gold Basket $79.95 rrp january 2016 | mychild

INATTENTION &

hyperactivity NOISY, HYPER AND SHORT ATTENTION SPAN?… COULD IT BE SOMETHING ELSE?

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HEALTH

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It is important to note that while inattention and hyperactivity are noted characteristics of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), not all people with ADHD have these symptoms, as everyone can be inattentive, hyperactive or impulsive some of the time, particularly children. But for a person with ADHD suffering these symptoms most of the time, these can seriously affect their everyday life. They may also be clumsy, unable to sleep, have temper tantrums and mood swings and find it hard to socialise and make friends. 1

For many parents, when their child is throwing a tantrum, not listening or aimlessly wandering around, sometimes there’s a moment when they wonder, ‘Is this normal?’, ‘Is this something I should be worried about?’ In most cases, teachers are the first to identify potential learning, emotional or behavioural problems and the first to provide avenues of support; as Nicole from Melbourne’s Narre Warren South recently discovered. “Liam’s teachers told me he’d been playing up in class, wasn’t progressing with his school work or keeping up with his classmates. That he was demonstrating inattention and hyperactivity problems,” she recounted. “They referred us to a speech pathologist and paediatrician, and we discovered Liam had problems hearing what his teachers were saying against the classroom noise. Once we figured this out, we were able to work with his teachers about speaking to him directly during class, to make sure he’d heard and understood what was being asked. But despite the extra classroom support, he still has inattention and hyperactivity issues,

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so we’re now investigating these with his paediatrician.” “Liam’s inattention and hyperactivity makes it difficult for him to focus. It gets in the way in the classroom, doing his homework and a lot of everyday life. Like any parent, you want your kids to enjoy life and we don’t want Liam’s inattention and hyperactivity to limit him in any way,” said Nicole. While working with teachers, child psychologists, paediatricians and a number of other specialists to help Liam manage his inattention and hyperactivity issues, Nicole also chose to enrol Liam into a clinical trial at Swinburne University. The trial is investigating whether a natural herbal medicine, already sold in pharmacies, may help boys between 6-14 years with symptoms of inattention and hyperactivity. “When I discussed the trial with Liam’s teachers and other parent friends, they weren’t very supportive; but I think it was because the thought of entering your child into a trial is a bit daunting. After reviewing the

HOW TO RECOGNISE THE SYMPTOMS OF INATTENTION AND HYPERACTIVITY 2 WHAT INATTENTION CAN LOOK LIKE IN YOUNG CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

trial information, Liam’s paediatrician thought it was a great idea. I would recommend the trial to any parents trying to help their son with similar issues. The trial staff were really friendly and helpful. They worked with the school psychologist to help Liam undertake the trial tests, which were more like games,” she explained, “I think the best of part of the trial is that it’s giving us something to try. It’s letting us be proactive in helping Liam. The opportunity to be doing something for your child is so important when you’re navigating the system in a very reactive way,” said Nicole. Always discuss any concerns you may have about your child suffering symptoms of inattention and hyperactivity with your healthcare practitioner or education provider. For more information about Swinburne University’s natural medicine clinical trial for boys aged between 6 and 14 years with symptoms of inattention and hyperactivity, visit www.inattentiontrial.com 1. Source: National Institute for Health and Care Excellence

• Having a short attention span and being easily distracted (also daydreaming) • Making careless mistakes – for example, in schoolwork • Appearing forgetful or losing things • Being unable to stick at tasks that are tedious or time-consuming • Appearing to be unable to listen to or carry out instructions • Constantly changing activity or task • Having difficulty organising tasks • Being unable to concentrate on tasks WHAT HYPERACTIVITY AND IMPULSIVITY CAN LOOK LIKE IN YOUNG CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS • Being unable to sit still, especially in calm or quiet surroundings • Constantly fidgeting • Excessive physical movement • Excessive talking • Being unable to wait their turn • Acting without thinking • Interrupting conversations • Little or no sense of danger

2. Source: UK National Healthcare System (NHS), Health A-Z, Introduction to ADHD;

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Days

of Lunches SOME HANDY IDEAS FOR THE LITTLE ONES’ LUNCHES THAT ARE QUICK AND EASY TO MAKE.

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day ONE MORNING TEA Yoghurt (approx.. 100g serve) Wholegrain crackers spread with vegemite

LUNCH Corned beef, tomato, lettuce and cream cheese in pita pocket Fruit in season, e.g. seedless grapes

Tips: Use leftover corned beef from last night's dinner

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day TWO MORNING TEA Banana pikelets Yoghurt drink

LUNCH Tuna, avocado and salad roll Dried or fresh fruit, e.g. apricots

Tips: Make pikelets ahead and freeze for quick lunch box treats OR buy ready-made wholemeal pikelets and top with a little lowfat cream cheese and sliced banana. 54

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day THREE MORNING TEA Yoghurt Wholegrain muesli bar

LUNCH Baked bean toastie Fruit in season, e.g. chopped melon â&#x20AC;&#x201C; can be frozen for extra chill

Tips: Quicker than you think toasties: Lightly spray a sandwich maker with spray oil. Place 1/4 cup of baked beans on a slice of bread. Add a slice of cheese or 2 tbls of grated cheese. Cover with the second piece of bread and toast.

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day FOUR MORNING TEA Veggie sticks with hummus (or Mexican Salsa) Frozen milk drink

LUNCH Lamb pizza Fruit in season, e.g. sliced watermelon

Tips: Great for leftover roast lamb. Spread 2 teaspoons of tomato paste over base. Arrange roast lamb, top with cherry tomatoes and grated cheese. Grill for 10 minutes. 56

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day FIVE MORNING TEA Cheese wedges â&#x20AC;&#x201C; one wedge or cheese stick (approx. 20g) Wholegrain crackers

LUNCH Mini meatball salad Cut apples with lemon juice

Tips: Use leftover rissoles paired with cherry tomatoes and vegetable sticks (e.g. carrots, celery, cucumber, snowpeas)

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BOOK

reviews

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BOOKS

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BOOKS

REVIEWED

The Little Reading Room http://www.thelittlereadingroom.com.au/

The Power of Henry’s Imagination Skye Byrne and Nic George Henry and his favourite toy, Raspberry, do everything together. When Raspberry is lost, however, Henry’s Grandpa tells him that he must imagine Raspberry found. Henry imagines he and Raspberry reunited and something amazing happens.

The Little Reading Room

From the team behind the bestselling The Secret, The Power of Henry’s Imagination is a thought-provoking book about the power of one’s imagination and how positive affirmations can manifest change. The illustrations are a combination of drawings with photographs, such as, a drawing of a tree with real leaves superimposed - visually representing both the real and imagined, and perfectly complimenting the narrative. The Power of Henry’s Imagination is recommended for readers aged 4 to 8 years and reminds us about the power of thinking positively, regardless of the outcome.

Where the Wild Things Are Maurice Sendak

classic

Max was causing mischief, so his mother called him a ‘Wild Thing’ and sent him to bed. Whilst in his room, Max imagined a forest and on an ocean sailed to a place where the wild things were. After a night of celebrations Max realised he felt lonely, so gave up being their king and sailed home. Where the Wild Things Are gently deals with themes of conflict and gratitude, applicable to all young readers. The stunning muted illustrations depict Max on his mythical journey, where wild creatures emerge from the pages and emotions are explored through the channel of a young boy’s imagination. Where the Wild Things Are is recommended for readers aged 4 and over. With its iconic illustrations and text, it is a must-have for every child and will warrant repeat readings.

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Old School Jeff Kinney To avoid punishment after a series of unfortunate events, Greg decides to go on a school trip and whilst there gets a taste of how things were done in the so-called ‘good old days’. The hilarious illustrations depict Greg on his technology-free school trip, where a comedy of errors unfold, including, a trust exercise that ends with a tooth in someone’s forehead, showering in sweat and a fish in the toilet. Children (and adults) will be laughing out loud, as Greg concludes that the old-fashioned way isn’t for him. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Old School is recommended for readers aged 7 to 11 years and whilst some of Greg’s antics are obviously included for comedic purpose, the subject matter is pertinent to younger readers, who will devour this book and the rest of the series.

Who Done It? Olivier Tallec Can you guess who didn’t get enough sleep or who forgot their swimsuit? Look at the different scenarios and guess who the culprit is in each one. Who Done It? is a wonderful interactive book for younger readers. The illustrations show double page spreads of the various characters in a police lineup structure, ready for the reader to examine the visual clues. Emotions or feelings are explored, as the reader is asked to identify the physical symptoms of feeling nervous, shy, pain and even the abstract concept of love. Who Done It? is recommended for readers aged 2 to 5 years and children will thoroughly enjoy the participatory nature of playing detective. The answers are also provided in the back of the book… but no peeking.

FOR

parents The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep: A New Way of Getting Children to Sleep Carl-Johan Forssen Ehrlin This number one best-seller is an innovative bedtime story that uses psychological techniques for relaxation, helping children fall asleep and feel valued.

The book provides instructions for reading, with parents asked to emphasise or slow down particular words and undertake physical actions, such as, yawning at specific intervals. The narrative itself involves a rabbit and his mother going on a walk, meeting enlightening characters along the way, who teach how to slow down, relax the body and importantly how to be happy, kind, loved and feel good enough. It is recommended to read The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep to children aged 3 to 7 years. The meditative techniques are familiar, yet by structuring them in a child-friendly narrative, the book is highly successful in its purpose (and beneficial for the adult reading it too).

Everything I Need to Know I Learned From a Little Golden Book Diane Muldrow A book full of important life lessons, such as, sweatpants are bad for morale, take a mental health day now and then, be open to making new friends and get more sleep (well try too). Based on the world famous and bestselling Little Golden Books, this book incorporates words of wisdom with iconic images from the classics. The advice is a gentle reminder to all of us to take time to stop and smell the strawberries, with humour and warmth entwined. This book is intended for adults and is the perfect gift for mothers or soon-to-be-mothers, who will be all too familiar with the comparisons made between their life and that of a circus and appreciate the consideration that they should take time out for themselves.

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Animals Rock We sit down with Shelly Craft and Beau Young to discuss their latest project Written By: Andja Curcic The adult friendly, infectious sounds of ANIMALS ROCK are the brainchild of Beau Young – Australian singer, songwriter, and musician (and not to mention two-time world champion surfer). Teaming up with television presenter Shelley Craft and a band of talented animals, Animals Rock is a kid’s entertainment act that is loaded with fun and sprinkled with educational value. INT: What inspired you guys to start up Animals rock, and how did the partnership come about? BEAU: Shell and I first met via me playing at her girl’s kindy in Byron Bay. Also pretty much around the same time, I got to surf with her husband at Watego. We got talking and Shelley had the album. It’s been a dream working with Shelley. Everything I had in my mind, Shelley thought as well. So it’s been incredible really, from my standpoint. SHELLEY: Well it’s the same for me, ladies. It was really a meeting of the minds and fabulous timing. My oldest one was only about 2 at the time when Beau first played at her day care, and she literally had these songs stuck in her head. So when I put anything else on in the car january 2016 | mychild

it’s like “No! Animals Rock!” INT: Well that actually is a great segway into our next question, because your songs are definitely catchy. I have two small children so I’ve been playing them a bit with my kids and I find myself hours afterwards still singing them over again. What is the creative process that you guys go through to create these songs? SHELLEY: Well this first album was definitely Beau’s from the start. He’s been touring with it at day cares for a number of years. So I’ve basically written myself into the script, decided which parts I thought my amateur singing voice would suit, and with a lot of coaching from Beau, we re-recorded parts of the album with me on it. But this definitely was his first baby and the birth of Animals Rock - being songs that are always going to be about animals, their environment and of course their characteristics. And then as you well know, every single animal plays a different musical instrument – that’s a part of it as well. There will always be an animal and a new instrument on every track. INT: Shelley, you sound really great on the album. Did you undergo any vocal training before Animals Rock or was this something that you were already skilled in? SHELLEY: No, I’ve always had the rock star fantasy. INT: Well you’re living the dream now. SHELLEY: What would I be next in my incarnation? It is either a Pink Impersonator or going back to being a kid’s entertainer. That was the beautiful appeal of it for me. I started in kid’s entertainment working at Movie World on the Gold Coast and then Today Disney being my first job in TV. I really consider that to be where my ultimate skill and heart lies - in entertaining kids. There’s nothing more rewarding than having kids dance and sing along with you. They are the toughest critics of all.

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Adults will always give you a second chance and even if they don’t particularly like you and they enjoy the show, they’ll keep watching. If kids aren’t interested they’ll switch off in a heartbeat. If they’re down the back at the day care centre playing with the blocks rather than dancing, well then you know you’ve missed the mark. INT: What kind of genres does Animals Rock explore? BEAU: So, it is kind of at the moment still in the blues/folk rock kind of area. I think as musicians Shell and I definitely want to expand and I know that all parents - not being a parent yet, unfortunately… I know that parents play their regular music to their kids and we know kids love it. So we’re definitely up for expanding as well, and you know whatever other elements would be nice just to really round things out for the children’s education. INT: We know music is extremely important for children, how do you think your music helps kids? BEAU: When it came to the song writing process Shelley and I have a giant animal dictionary, and that has every animal under the sun from the smallest of insects to the tallest of the dinosaurs. As you all know sitting in that room, children are so intelligent beyond their years. Each verse is based around the animal’s habitat, what it eats, its weight in comparison

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to say – an elephant weighs as much as two small Volkswagen cars, or whatever it may be. That’ll be the verse and they’ll get used to singing that with the catchy music behind it, and then comes the chorus. Each and every animal, like Shelley said, they’ll have a specific instrument, probably pipes in there or chimes in for the chorus. Obviously, an elephant it’d be a large pair of cymbals. BEAU: And then obviously using their arms as a trunk from side to side. So it’s subliminally very educational without them knowing it. They find themselves singing the song, ideally, and understanding a lot about the scorpion or a hawk or whatever it may be and then come the dance moves… that’s all about fun. SHELLEY: We cannot keep up with the moves [in other kids acts], so this is very much music that doesn’t make parents scratch their nails down the blackboard. It’s CDs that you can leave on in the car once the kids pop out and it won’t drive you crazy, and of course dance moves that will keep you fit enough and keep the kids interested enough but you don’t need a degree in dance to be able to keep up. INT: Beau, what is more fun – being a solo act or a part of a kid’s act? BEAU: I think that it allows a little bit more room to breathe. Playing day cares solo, I did find it was extremely hard to cover all bases and also fully engage the kids. And I just think having a group outfit, and I always dreamed of having myself – being a male, and having Shell there as a female – I think that’s great for kids – they can relate and I think we’ve really chosen the animals in that regard, too. I think it’s just a lot more fun – I think there’s a lot more to engage a child – and just seeing the animals play instruments and they all have their own personalities. It’s definitely bigger than myself which is awesome. That was the

dream, to take it a different context. In that regard the band - and then also now with Shell on board - we can hopefully write more songs together and after farm animals take it to the jungle, take it to the sea, take it to the land and prehistoric animals cause there’s definitely more songs in the bank there. It’s an important time for kids and the environment. INT: So what makes Animals Rock different from other children’s acts? SHELLEY: I think definitely the content and the music. It will always be about animals and their environment – we don’t need to sing about bubbles or brushing our teeth or hula hoops or anything else. It will always have that educational value of animals. And of course the music, Beau has got this amazing, as you’ve heard, blues roots – that’s where he’s from and that’s what it’s all about and again that lovely connection with music as far as the actual fundamentals of music, not just tunes that’ll get kids dancing but it really is very intelligent music and as you said it won’t drive parents mad in the prospect. INT: Where can our readers find more information about you? Where can they get your album? SHELLEY: You can find it all on www. animalsrock.com - we’ve got our Facebook page too which is ‘Animals Rock’, Instagram – we’re there as well. Tour dates – that will be the biggest thing for 2016. We’ll be hitting the road – so we’re actually kicking off with carols up here in Queensland and the Sirromet Winery – they do their Day on the Green and now they’ve got their Christmas carols, so we’re involved with that which is great. We’re doing the Essential Baby and Toddler show expos in Brisbane and Sydney and Melbourne – so that’ll be March and April – they’re on the road with Peppa pig. And from then on, hoping we can get to the regional centres as well. Eyes peeled, here we come.

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BUYING

Baby Gear: Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve probably been pinning your way to the perfect nursery and playroom, but these tips will help make sure all the baby gear you buy hits the sweet spot between adorable and practical.

january 2016 | mychild

PREGNANCY

WHICH BABY ITEMS ARE THE MUST HAVE ESSENTIALS With all the itty-bitty furniture and newfangled baby gear there is to buy, it’s tempting to grab a shopping cart (or a registry gun) and go wild. But first, pause to take your baby’s safety — and your wallet — into consideration. The one thing you don’t need when you have a newborn, after all, is a case of baby-related buyer’s remorse. Here’s what to know about each baby-gear essential before you buy.

CAR SEAT

You might be drawn to a convertible car seat, which can hold a baby as tiny as three pounds and last well into toddlerhood. But a bulky convertible seat will be tricky to manoeuvre in and out of the car while the baby is sleeping. Plus most convertible seats don’t have wheeled frames, so you’ll have to move the baby to a stroller if

january 2016 | mychild

you’re going more than a few feet. An infant seat, on the other hand, simply pops in and out of a car base with the click of a button. (Infant seats can also be installed quickly and safely with a seat belt, if you often travel by cab). Look for one with an easy-to-grip handle and a substantial sunshade, and test-drive it with a stroller frame if you plan on using one. Steer clear of used car seats, which can be compromised if they’re installed in a car that’s been in an accident.

STROLLER

Strollers see a lot of wear and tear, so unless you’re certain you’re getting a barely used model, spring for a new one. Shop for a stroller in person and have everyone who’ll be spending a lot of time behind it — Mummy and Daddy, at the least — take it for a spin. If the

handles don’t adjust, make sure they’re at a comfortable height for whoever will be using it most. Consider the amount of storage space it contains (bigger is better) and whether it will be easy to access once the stroller has a tiny occupant. If you think you’d like your baby to nap in the stroller, make sure it has a decent incline (at least 45 degrees) and that it’s easy to adjust without disturbing your little one. If you’ll be spending a lot of time on bumpy sidewalks, look for a model with air tires, which offer a smoother ride than plastic wheels. Apartment dwellers should try collapsing and carrying a few strollers; lightweight umbrella strollers with carrying straps are the easiest to carry up and down stairs. A substantial sunshade is a good perk, but if you fall in love with a stroller that has a wimpy shade, there are several tie-on shades available.

CRIB.

Vintage cribs might be charming, but the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) strongly cautions against using any crib that’s more than ten years old. Even newer models can be dangerous, with more than 11 million recalled since 2007. (Check the ACCC’s website before you buy or borrow from a friend). Cribs should have fixed sides with slats that are no farther than two and three-eighths inches apart. Because cribs come in different heights, you’ll want to shop for one in person to make sure Mummy and Daddy can both reach the baby when the mattress is dropped to its lowest point. A moneysaving tip: A model that converts to a

toddler bed offers a gentle transition from the crib, and it will last through several birthdays. MATTRESS AND BEDDING. The most important factor to consider when shopping for a crib mattress is how firm it is, as soft sleeping surfaces can raise the risk for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). To test firmness, press your hand in the centre of a mattress, then pull it away and check for a handprint — if you can see the outline of your hand, pick a different model. Once you have your mattress, you’ll need something to cover it with: All-inone bedding sets are virtually useless, since the only bedding your baby needs is a fitted sheet. Crib bumpers, a staple in many sets, are discouraged by most Paediatricians, which considers them a SIDS risk. And blankets are also a no-no in cribs. Stock up on fitted sheets and buy a crib skirt separately, if you’d like one.

CARRIER

You might wait on this purchase till after your baby is born so you can determine which style your papoose prefers — plus your baby’s size might affect your decision. If possible, borrow a few different carriers from friends before you buy to see which one works best for you and your little one. Take each for at least a walk around the block with your sweetie inside, so you’ll know how the carrier feels when you’re on the go. Keep in mind that a carrier that straps around your waist as they will

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be easier on your back than a model with straps that crisscross your back or a sling, which puts most of your wee one’s weight on one of your shoulders. If you opt for a sling, review the ACCC’s guidelines for wearing them to make sure your baby bundle stays safe.

SWING, SEAT, OR ACTIVITY CENTRE.

These are also purchases you can probably save for post pregnancy. Yes, the swing worked like a charm on your best friend’s babe, but for every little one that finds swinging soothing there’s

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another that starts sobbing. The same is true for bouncers and play saucers. To find out what your wee one prefers, let her give it a whirl first. If you can, bring your baby to visit a friend who has a little one who’s a few months older. You can catch up with a fellow mama — and your tot can test-drive some gear. If you do end up opting for a swing, look for a model that plugs into an outlet (unless you enjoy late-night battery runs). One final tip: Before making a purchase — new or secondhand — don’t forget to check the ACCC to make sure the product hasn’t been recalled.

january 2016 | mychild

TODDLER

School STARTING

ENROLLING AND PREPARING YOUR CHILD STARTING SCHOOL IS A BIG STEP FOR YOUR CHILD – AND FOR YOU TOO. IT HELPS TO PLAN AHEAD FOR ENROLMENT AND TO START PREPARING YOUR CHILD FOR THIS NEW PHASE IN THEIR LIFE.

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ENROLLING AT SCHOOL Enrolling your child can be as easy as contacting the school of your choice and filling in the relevant forms. Or it could involve putting your child’s name down at a private school from shortly after birth. PREPARING YOUR CHILD FOR STARTING SCHOOL Starting school can be a big change for your child – and a big change in your family life too. Although it’s an exciting time, it’s normal to feel a little worried or just sad about it. Keeping your worries to yourself and letting your child know that you think he’ll go well at school helps your child feel positive too. Here are tips to help your child feel ready for starting school. GETTING FAMILIAR WITH SCHOOL • If your child is at a preschool that runs a school transition program, try to make sure your child is at preschool on the days the children visit ‘big school’. If your child isn’t at preschool, visit the school yourselves. This helps your child get familiar with the grounds, the classroom, the toilets, the bubblers, the noise of the big kids and so on. • Meet your child’s teacher together and give your child an idea of how many children will be in the class. Let your child know that teachers are there to help, and she can ask for help any time. • Explain the basic school rules, such as putting up your hand, asking before going to the toilet, listening quietly when you need to, and doing what the teacher asks. • Show your child where the after school care facilities are, if you’re using them. PRACTICAL PREPARATIONS AT HOME • Get your child to try on the uniform and shoes before the first day, just to make sure everything fits. • Make sure your child has all the extras – bag, hat, art smock, library bag and so on. • Have a practice run with the lunch box to make sure your child can take off the lid (perhaps before buying the box). FEELINGS • Try to organise play dates with other 76

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SOME SCHOOLS START WITH FOURDAY WEEKS OR HALF-DAYS FOR THE FIRST MONTH OR SO TO HELP CHILDREN EASE INTO THE NEW ENVIRONMENT. IF THIS HAPPENS AT YOUR SCHOOL, YOU MIGHT NEED TO PLAN CHILD CARE FOR THESE TIMES.

children before the first day of school. It’ll help if your child knows another child from class before school starts. • Give your child lots of love and support. Be excited and enthusiastic about your child starting school. This sends your child the positive message that school is exciting and that he’ll cope and have fun. • Think about how you’ll manage your feelings on the first day. Even if you’re feeling sad or worried, it can help to keep these feelings from your child. Instead, try to see your child off with a happy, confident goodbye. Sometimes it’s helpful to talk to other parents about how you’re feeling. Other parents might also have helpful tips for preparing

and starting school. You can connect with other parents in our online forum for parents of schoolage children. STARTING SCHOOL: THE EARLY WEEKS Your child is likely to need a lot of support when school starts. There are some simple things you can do to help these first few weeks go smoothly: • Try to drop off your child at school before the bell goes in the morning. Also pick your child up on time. If you’re late it could make your child feel very anxious. • Consider limiting after-school activities like swimming lessons for the first term, and stick to a bedtime routine if you can. Your child is likely to be very tired after school for the first few weeks. • Try to make after-school time a bit special,

with a snack and time for the two of you to chat. • Be patient if your child wants to blurt out every little detail about school, or clams up completely. Try to respect your child’s response to this new experience. • Don’t expect too much too soon. If your child is happy and seems to be enjoying school, that’s a real achievement. The rest will come later. • When you feel your child is coping all right with after-school tiredness, think about setting up a play date with one of her new classmates. This helps to strengthen the links between school and home. If your child doesn’t seem to be settling well, or reports teasing or bullying, speak to your child’s classroom teacher. january 2016 | mychild

TOY

Reviews

january 2016 | mychild

TOYS

january 2016 | mychild

TOY

Reviews

REVIEWED BY APRIL DAVIS

OWL BACKPACK, OWL SNACK KEEPERS, DRINK BOTTLE, LUNCH BOX ICE PACKS (TWO PACK), INSULATED LUNCH BOX AND SANDWICH KEEPER Made from durable, high-quality materials, both kids and parents will love this bright and colourful owl backpack. The fully-lined interior keeps any spills contained, while the padded straps ensure the bag is comfortable to wear and carry. Perfect for school-aged children, there are plenty of compartments to store books, stationery, lunch boxes, or any small-sized items your kids may need to take with them. The backpackâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s straps are also adjustable to make sure the bag can be worn by children of varying heights and sizes and will remain suitable even after your child has gone through a growth spurt. Snack and lunchtime looks better than ever with this funky lunch set that will make the most stubborn eaters want to munch away at their apples and drink their water. Light-weight, functional, and eco-friendly are just some of the benefits of these cute and playful lunch items. Each item is completely BPA and Phthalate free and re-usable to cut down on the costs of cling wrap and sandwich bags. At a glance, this set seems like an awful lot to carry, however, each item fits perfectly inside the lunch bag, with an extra mesh compartment on the back and a zipped section on the base. The insulated lunch bag will help keep food cold for longer, however, we recommend you use the ice packs to ensure the food is kept cool until lunchtime.

BUNDLE PACK $99.00 - AVAILABLE FROM WWW.CHILDSMART.COM.AU

FIRE STATION PUZZLE + PLAY SET

$24.00 RRP - AVAILABLE FROM WWW.CHILDSMART.COM.AU 80

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Containing one truck, five figures and one puzzle this play set is suitable for ages four plus and is a great activity for preschool or prep-aged children. Once assembled, the puzzle measures 33cmx48cm and represents a fire station and animal character figures that stand upright and can be moved around on the puzzle. It teaches kids how to match colours and patterns and how different real-life people/ places piece together. Each item is made of durable, high-quality cardboard and can withstand slobbering and rough play. The pieces are also small enough to be a challenge for kids to put together but large enough to prevent choking.

COUNTING ANIMALS 2 PC PUZZLE SETS This animal puzzle set is both fun and educational. The pieces are made from strong and durable cardboard, are colourful, and picture cute animal drawings to help keep kids engaged for long periods of time. The point of the product is for kids to match the number of animals pictured, with the numeral labelled on each piece. For example, kids need to match the image of five elephants with the number five, the six zebras with the number six and so on. Suitable for age’s two plus, this puzzle is a great way for toddlers to start learning how to count in a fun and safe learning environment.

$12.95 RRP- AVAILABLE FROM WWW.CHILDSMART.COM.AU

MY FIRST RAILWAY ADVANCED KIT My three-year-old nephew had the honour of testing this railway set out over the weekend, and let me say, he was impressed! It’s listed as being suitable for ages one and a half plus, but judging from the level of engagement and enjoyment from my nephew, it’s safe to say children up to the age of four or even five will reap the benefits of this toy. The railway set contains a total of 18 pieces with two layouts. Although, it only has one engine and carriage that connects magnetically, extra pieces are sold separately and would be a worthwhile expense. The railway set is colourful and engaging and a great way to keep your kids entertained over the holidays.

$59.95 RRP - AVAILABLE FROM WWW.CHILDSMART.COM.AU

BUILD A HOUSE MIX & MATCH PUZZLE These heavy-duty cardboard blocks create six basic buildings, including: a fairytale castle, fireman’s house, farmyard barn, train station, robot factory, and an animal house. There are only nine pieces, but limitless potential for kids to harness their creativity. The Build a House Mix & Match Puzzle is recommended for children at least three years of age, however, it’s a good form of entertainment for almost any age, although, three to five-year-olds would get the most enjoyment out of this educational activity. Through mixing and matching the different pieces and patterns, children can learn how different colours, patterns, and themes all pair together.

$14.95 RRP - AVAILABLE FROM WWW.CHILDSMART.COM.AU january 2016 | mychild

january 2016 | mychild

A BRAVE NEW WORLD A

t 16, Bernadette Black unexpectedly fell pregnant and experienced firsthand the stigma associated with teenage pregnancy and the lack of support and education available. Flash forward to 2015 – Bernadette is the author of ‘Brave Little Bear’ and CEO and Founding Director of the Brave Foundation, which she established to provide education, support and resources for teenage and unplanned pregnancy. We have a chat to her about her journey and experiences. What inspired you to create the Brave Foundation? I was a 16 year old mother myself. As a pregnant teen I made myself three promises,

1) to be a good mum 2) to finish my education and 3) to write a book or pamphlet that would help others in this situation. I wrote the book ‘Brave Little Bear’, which is the meaning of my name. It received so much national publicity and feedback that I knew a charity needed to be started to help any person facing teenage pregnancy or parenthood in any community nationally. Brave Foundation was incorporated in 2009. Here I was as a Registered Nurse (at the time) starting a charity that would one day have a national presence. There has been much personal learning to do this over the years, business studies etc. and this is something I am so honoured to be a part

BERNADETTE AT 16, WITH HER NEWBORN SON january 2016 | mychild

Just one positive voice, just one â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;you can do itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; no matter how small or big, that is what makes the difference.

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of. It always feels like I’m at the beginning and I am quite comfortable with that! What resources do you see as important for a pregnant teen and what are the resources that the Brave Foundation provides? The reason I wrote my book was because it was literally the resource I couldn’t find. I asked a nurse in the young mums group I went to as a pregnant teen, if there was a book, pamphlet or something that could show me I could be ok. She said there was nothing and suggested I read an inspirational book! I wanted to know that someone had lived it, breathed and survived it. My main concern was for the others in my group. Even though my dad was angry (he didn’t talk to me properly until the end of my pregnancy) and my mum unwell due to the shock, at least I had a pillow to put my head on at the end of the day. Some of the kids in this group were homeless, one boy was 16 and was going to become the sole parent of his former girlfriend’s baby, others were in emergency housing. I wanted them to know there was some hope, a speck of light to say that they could be ok too. Brave Foundation provides resource packs to secondary schools and support services nationally; these include ‘Brave Little Bear’ and a policy standard for schools to help them equip the pregnant or parenting teen towards finishing their education. We

also assist with individualized education pathway plans for those in this situation. It is imperative that learning for someone in this situation can be flexible. A new mum needs the gift of maternity leave, no matter what age. However, keeping connected to education, even one subject a year, can create an entirely different future for the mother or father, and importantly their child and generations to come. Could you tell us a bit about your relationship with Brave Foundation Chair David Bartlett? What is your shared history? David Bartlett is the Former Tasmanian Premier. When I started Brave in 2009, I introduced myself to his wife Larissa at an event and she agreed to become an Ambassador for Brave. I didn’t know it at the time, although Larissa later told me that David was born to a teenage mum and adopted out. David’s story is another amazing journey, and is a big part of why he is Chair of the Brave Foundation. [Having David as Chair of Brave] is an incredible honour for me as the Founding Director and CEO. It was another personal honour to meet David’s biological mum at our recent national launch. They have a beautiful relationship that has been reestablished. It’s like David and I are two bookends of the teen pregnancy story. What challenges have you faced as a teen mum?

Many! From people saying ‘babies having babies’ to people suggesting I hide my belly if I was embarrassed! It was very tough and disappointingly, pregnant teens today still face these challenges. We can all take responsibility to change that in our society. What can people do to destroy the stigma surrounding teenage pregnancy? If you’re only told and only hear negative things, then unfortunately and understandably your outcome can be negative. Just one positive voice, just one ‘you can do it’ no matter how small or big, that is what makes the difference. Brave Foundation’s vision is to build up the village of support and acceptance around any person facing teenage pregnancy and parenthood. If this village is not in their family and support environment, it is Brave’s mantle that we bring the village to them through access to support and educational services. We have over 130 services displayed on the Directory of Services on our website. What piece of advice do you have for other girls who are in the same situation that you faced at 16? What my Year 10 teacher told me, ‘The journey might be different now but the destination can stay the same.’ Like I did, I would suggest they write down three promises for their life, keep them and watch

BERNADETTE PICTURED WITH HER SON january 2016 | mychild

how they walk into these. It is also important to have what we call one safe person in your life. That person will help you believe in your three promises at times when you can’t. This may be a family member or friend, or a teacher, nurse or chaplain. Find this person if they don’t seem obvious, and you will see those three promises come into reality overtime. I’d also say stick to secondary schooling, even if it’s a subject a year. It is so worth it across many aspects. Finally, visit bravefoundation. org.au to see how others have walked this journey. Find out about support for you and how you can be a part of the Brave village. What are the best things about being a mother? Being a mum has taught me more about myself than any other thing! It has taught me to be grateful in the little things, and then you can be grateful in the big. It has taught me to stop and listen and think of a world I want my kids to be a part of. Lastly, they give me every inspiration to be a part of changing our world towards one of encouragement and support for all people. We all need a village as parents. What is something your parents said to you that you find yourself saying now? It is so embarrassing when you realize you sound just like your mother! Although, my mother is pretty amazing! It’s more the things I do than say. Every morning I make my kids 86

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a cup of tea – that started when they were 5. I swore I’d never do that! I dance like a mum, when did that happen? I swore I’d never do that either! Yes, the ultimate parent highlight, yelling out ‘I love you’ to your teenage kids through the car window when they are heading to school ma jor parent fail if you ask them!!! My mum did this too. My Dad has been deceased for 12 years. I learned so much from him too - most of all perseverance and running the race, finishing the race well, and keeping the faith. I hope in a small way that my life as an action shows my kids the significance of these words. Do you want your kids to follow in your footsteps? I’d want them to run this life with perseverance, and at every chapter make it to the end and finish well. Starting something is easy, carrying it out and finishing things well is tough. I’m still learning that. The other thing I would say is, no matter what, love never fails. That is fact.

runner. He died training for his 8th Melbourne marathon at 49. His whole life changed when I had my baby at 16. He stopped gambling, being emotionally aggressive and so much more. I had 5 years with an amazing father (he died when Damien was 5), that some would never have in a lifetime. Quentin Bryce, Australia’s first Governor General. I’ve been fortunate enough to meet her a couple of times and can admire greatly the incredible journey her life has taken her on. I admire people like Quentin that play a substantial role in shaping culture for the betterment of all. How would you describe your parenting style?

My husband. Steven holds such strength with the perfect ingredient of gentleness. I’ve never met another human being like him. Man, he is immovable in his love for his family. It is quite incredible and something I am in awe of. I want to be more like him.

You’d have to ask my kids! I suspect their answer would depend on the day!! Seriously, our parenting journey is always evolving. I’ve never been a mum to a 22, 14 and 11-year-old before. I’m always learning as a mum and I need people around me at each stage. My husband and I are very conversational with our 3 children. You might think the older they get the less you need to be there; I’ve found the opposite. By just being with them in the evenings, cooking tea etc. is the time they start talking and I listen. Much comes from those moments. I hope we have them at every stage, even when I’m a parent to a 60-year-old!

My dad. He was a marathon

How is your parenting style

Who is your hero? Can I have three?

BERNADETTE PICTURED WITH HER FAMILY

different to the way your parents raised you?

encouragement regardless of the situation.

We talk about anything, there are no off limit conversations from our end. We challenge ourselves and our parenting every week without even realizing, by checking on how each child is travelling and what is happening in their worlds. When ours are so full this is really important. Also, my kids learnt how to do their own washing from 14!

What is the one thing you’ve learnt from being a mum?

List three things every child needs (besides the obvious basics, i.e. food, water & shelter). Honesty,

truth

and

To pick your battles as we are all learning, my kids and I included. Although, I need to remember that I’m the adult that has learned a chunk more! I’ve learned to give myself grace. I’m not going to get it right all the time, but I can learn a bit more about how I might approach the same issue next time! Is there anything else you would like My Child readers to know? Being a parent is the most

rewarding and challenging role you will ever live. We are all learning together and need a village of support and acceptance around each of us, at each stage of parenthood. Remember to listen to your kids. When you’re not talking, often they are – this is so important when our children grow into teenagers and young adults. Be present, put down the phone, eye ball them and spend snapshots of time when you can. That quality of time, no matter how seemingly short, will build the platform for many memories and ultimately to happy and healthy families into the future. Love always wins.

january 2016 | mychild

POSITIVE

attention AND YOUR CHILD

Parents have hundreds of interactions with their children on an average day. What really counts is making the most of this time — showing positive attention and enjoying those daily moments with your child.

WHAT IS POSITIVE ATTENTION? Positive attention is the way you show delight in your child and warmth in your relationship through: • smiling at your child • making eye contact and using caring facial expressions • being physically gentle and caring with your child • using words to celebrate and encourage your child • showing interest in your child’s interests, activities and achievements. You have opportunities to give your child positive attention in your everyday interactions together.

WHAT CHILDREN LEARN FROM POSITIVE ATTENTION Right from the beginning, it’s critical that children have experiences and relationships that show them they are valued, capable human beings who bring pleasure to others. Positive attention, reactions and responses from key grownups help children build a picture of how valued they are. A child’s self-image (or self-concept) is built over time with positive, loving messages from their mum, dad and other important people. A healthy self-image is very important, not only

for a child’s relationship with others, but also for confidence as they learn about the world. Children’s feelings of security and safety come from their interactions with parents and other grown-ups who care for them. When children are frightened, uncertain or faced with a new or unfamiliar situation, they’ll look to you for reassurance and support to feel safe and secure. In some extreme cases, where parents are regularly distracted or unavailable to focus on their babies’ needs, babies can become january 2016 | mychild

distressed. Research has shown that if this happens over a period of time, beginning at infancy, babies as young as six months can show signs of stress. Research has shown that parents who smile at their babies more, who are warm and pay lots of attention, have children who tend to show more of those kinds of behaviours themselves. How you can show positive attention From the moment they’re born, children are paying attention to what you say and do – and, perhaps even more so, how you say and do it. NEWBORNS Even newborns are ready to relate, communicate and learn from everything and everybody around them. The more you respond and initiate communication with babies, the more they benefit. You can respond to newborn efforts to communicate by: • comforting them when they cry • smiling back when they smile • responding to the sounds they make by saying something sensible (even when you’re not sure of what they’re trying to communicate!). BABIES, TODDLERS AND OLDER CHILDREN As your child gets older, your words and actions combine to give your child important 90

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messages. Be aware of how your child might interpret the look on your face or tone in your voice. Even before babies can understand and use words, they are sensitive to your tone of voice, gesture, facial expression and body language. • Make the most of everyday activities. Bathing, nappy changing, feeding and dressing might seem like things to be endured, but these daily activities provide important opportunities for you to connect with your child in a meaningful way. For example, you might want to give your child cuddles and tickles while you’re drying her after her bath. • Whenever you can, put aside preoccupations and planning, and get into the moment with your child. This could be as simple as squatting down to look at a caterpillar together, even if you’re in a hurry to get somewhere. These kinds of interactions don’t have to take up a lot of time to make a real difference. • Look at your child, smile at him, show interest, pay attention and engage with him in positive ways. This all sends the message that your child is special and important. • Focus on the positives. If you’re always correcting your child, or you seem unhappy, angry or distracted when you’re

together, this sends the message that your child isn’t capable, valued or worth your attention. So before you correct your child, ask yourself: does it really matter? Is it really important or could I just let it go? ‘When a child walks in the room, your child or anybody else’s child, do your eyes light up? ... that’s what they’re looking for. When my children used to walk in the room when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up. And so you think your affection and deep love is on display because you’re caring for them. It’s not. When they see you, they see the critical face ... Let your face speak what’s in your heart. It’s just as small as that, you see.’ WHEN IT’S HARD TO BE POSITIVE It’s not realistic or even normal to be positive all the time. Children are quite capable of coping when their parents are occasionally insensitive, unavailable or distracted. But when most, or even many, daily interactions are negative and distressing, or a parent is finding it hard to feel or act positively, this is frequently a sign of stressed parenting. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s worth seeking professional help and advice.

BABY

december january 2016 2015 | mychild

BABY

january 2016 | mychild

sleep INDEPENDENT

THE FIRST 3-4 MONTHS OF LIFE IS A GOOD TIME TO HELP YOUR BABY DEVELOP A HEALTHY SLEEP PATTERN. IF YOUR BABY LEARNS TO SETTLE BACK TO SLEEP WITHOUT YOUR HELP – CALLED INDEPENDENT SLEEP – YOU CAN AVOID PROBLEMS WITH SETTLING AND WAKING LATER ON.

january 2016 | mychild

INDEPENDENT SLEEP A baby achieves independent sleep when he/ she: • sleeps for 6-8 hours during the night • can settle back to sleep without calling out to a parent after waking in the night. Around 60% of babies can do this by six months of age. Although there are no guarantees, research suggests that parents can do some simple things to assist even very young babies to become independent sleepers – when the babies are developmentally mature enough. WHEN TO START Your newborn’s biological sleep clock is programmed so your baby wakes at night. This ensures she gets enough food in this time of incredible growth and development. So your newborn will need your attention during the night for feeding and settling for at least the first 3-4 months. During this time, though, your baby’s sleep patterns and rhythms mature rapidly. You can take advantage of this period of rapid change by gradually introducing the approaches suggested here. EMPHASISING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NIGHT AND DAY Your baby doesn’t understand the difference between day and night. It’s quite common for babies to be wide-awake during the night – when you’re desperate for sleep – and then sleepy during the day. A newborn will sleep and wake around the clock. But you can help your child make the eventual adjustment to more sleep at night-time with the following strategies: • During the night, keep your baby’s room as dark and quiet as possible (babies don’t need total dark or quiet to sleep). • Use a dim light when you need to attend to your baby during the night – try not to turn on a bright overhead light. • At night, respond to your baby’s cries quickly, and settle or feed him as soon as you can. You might also want to give night feeds in his room – this will help keep these feeds brief, and make them different from daytime feeds. 94

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SELF-SOOTHING Self-soothing is when your baby can calm down, relax and go to sleep again in her bed. Babies who can self-soothe have longer uninterrupted periods of sleep and longer total sleep times at night. Get into the habit of putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake in the first 3-4 months. This will help your baby develop sleep associations that don’t rely on you for comfort and settling in the middle of the night. ‘Sleep associations’ are the routines, habits and patterns that we connect with feeling sleepy. Sleep associations help us drift off to sleep. They also help us go back to sleep when we wake during the night. Your baby will learn to associate the cot (rather than you) with going to sleep. Therefore, when she no longer needs feeding during the night, she won’t need your help getting back to sleep after waking. So everyone gets to have uninterrupted night-time sleep! If you routinely feed, cuddle, walk or rock your baby to sleep, you’re effectively doing the soothing for your baby. While you’re still in the habit of doing that, there’s no need for her to develop the ability to self-soothe. This is a problem only if you’re not happy to get up and settle your baby during the night. STARTING A FEED, PLAY, SLEEP ROUTINE When it feels right for you, it can help to start doing things in a similar order each day – feed, play, sleep. A consistent routine like this will help your baby settle into a regular sleep pattern. So when your baby wakes up, a routine might be to: • offer him a feed • change his nappy • take time for talk and play • put him back down for sleep. Again, with a newborn, it pays to be flexible about feeding and sleep times – but it can still help to start to do things in a similar order. Independent sleep is a worthwhile method that your baby will have to learn eventually. Gradually starting the process at an early stage will help make this transition easier later on. By training your baby in early development you not only help them, but a good night’s sleep for you is another bonus! Having a well-rested parent with a solid well-being is simply another advantage for your developing baby. january 2016 | mychild

Oricom

Secure870 Baby Monitor Review

$359.00 - FOR STOCKISTS PLEASE VISIT ORICOM.COM.AU

january 2016 | mychild

PRODUCTS WE LOVE

Reviewed by April Davis Sleep time is notoriously difficult and can be a stressful time for first time parents. It’s perfectly natural to feel like your eyes need to be on your baby at all times, and while this is usually the case, your babies sleep time is often your only downtime, or your only chance to actually get some work done. This is why selecting a good baby monitor is essential for ensuring your nursery is a safe and calming space for your little one. The cutting-edge, interactive Oricom 870 Baby Monitor is one of the most popular monitors on the market - and for good reason - it’s the ultimate in secure baby video monitoring. The touch screen operating panel allows you to easily check on your child from anywhere in the home and gives you some much needed peace of mind while your baby is sleeping. Featuring a large 3.5” touch screen, luminous light display and calming noises, the motorised, tilted camera easily captures all of your baby’s sounds and movements. Come bedtime, you can choose from a selection of lullabies, white noise, nature, and even womb sounds that are perfect for soothing your little bundle into a peaceful slumber. The monitor also has a mesmerising light show to help sooth even the most reluctant sleepers, creating a calming ambience, similar to a night light, that makes bedtime more relaxing.

to do is charge the camera and the monitor, with their separate power cables, set the camera up in the nursery, then keep track of their every move as you go about your day, or go to bed yourself. At first the Oricom seems like a regular run of the mill baby monitor, however, once you test the monitor out you will quickly notice the stand-out features that make it more than ‘just’ a baby monitor - it’s also an essential sleeping tool. Trying to teach your child to follow a regular sleeping pattern can be tricky, but this monitor helps take some of the stress out of the process. The calming noises and light show is an effective way to transition your baby into sleeping alone and can sooth them when they start to wake up, helping them to sleep through the night. Some important safety considerations: Try to keep the camera out of reach from your child and find it a home at least one-metre from the crib. The camera unit is wall mountable for added convenience. Key features: High-quality touch screen, pantilt camera, 3x digital zoom, hi-definition sound, 480x320 resolution screen, baby friendly night vision, 19 lullabies and sounds, vibration alerts, parent talk back, adjustable night light, up to 6.5 hours in-use time and a wall mountable camera unit.

Valued at $359, this monitor really does have it all. The monitor measures the room’s temperature, and tells the time. All you have

january 2016 | mychild

SCHOOL KIDS

refusal SCHOOL

MANY CHILDREN ASK TO STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL EVERY NOW AND THEN. BUT IF YOU FIND THAT IT’S OFTEN HARD TO GET YOUR CHILD TO GO TO SCHOOL, IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE OF SCHOOL REFUSAL.

january 2016 | mychild

SCHOOL KIDS

WHAT IS SCHOOL REFUSAL? School refusal is when a child gets extremely upset at the idea of going to school, or often misses some or all of the school day, and this distress doesn’t go away. School refusal can mean that children have trouble going to school – or that they don’t go to school at all. Children who refuse to go to school usually spend the day at home with their parents’ knowledge, even though their parents try really hard to get them to go. It might start gradually, as parents find it harder and harder to get their child to go to school. Or refusal might happen suddenly, such as at the start of school term or after a physical illness. School refusal is not a formal psychiatric diagnosis. It’s a name for an emotional and/or behaviour problem. School refusal is different from truancy or ‘wagging’. Children who ‘wag’ usually aren’t interested in school, don’t like authority or have behaviour problems such as oppositional defiant 100

january 2016 | mychild

disorder (ODD). Often their parents don’t know they aren’t at school. SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF SCHOOL REFUSAL If your child refuses to go to school, you might feel that school mornings are a ‘battle of wills’. Your child might: • have crying episodes • throw tantrums • hide under the bed covers • refuse to move • beg or plead not to go • complain of aches, pains and illness before school, which generally get better if you let your child stay at home • show high levels of anxiety CAUSES OF SCHOOL REFUSAL There’s rarely a single cause of school refusal. It might be linked to separation anxiety, a phobia, depression, learning difficulties or social problems at school. It can happen at the same time as or after: • stressful events at home, school or with peers

• family and peer conflict • academic problems – for example, learning difficulties • starting or changing schools • moving home • bullying or teasing • problems with a teacher WORKING ON SCHOOL REFUSAL If your child is anxious about school, refusing to go eases her anxiety for a little while because she doesn’t have to face the situation she’s afraid of. But if your child keeps avoiding school, it’s likely to make his anxiety about school worse. He’s also likely to fall behind with schoolwork and feel socially isolated. This can make it harder and harder to go back to school. This is why it’s important for your child to get back to school as soon as possible. There are some practical things you can do at home to encourage your child to go to school.

WHEN YOU’RE TALKING TO YOUR CHILD • Acknowledge your child’s anxiety about going to school so that she feels heard and understood. For example, ‘It’s OK to feel worried about going to school’. • Let your child know that you understand it’s hard for him to go to school when he feels worried or frightened. For example, ‘I can see you’re worried about going to school. I know it’s hard, but you need to go. Your teacher and I will help you .’ • Talk about what needs to happen to help your child attend and feel safe and comfortable at school – not about whether she goes to school. • Show that you believe your child can go to school by saying positive and encouraging things. For example, ‘You’re showing how brave you are by going to school’. This will build your child’s self-confidence. • Use clear, calm statements to let your child know that you expect him to go to school. Say ‘when’ rather than ‘if’. For example, you can say, ‘When you’re at school tomorrow ...’ instead of ‘If you make it to school tomorrow ...’. • Use direct statements such as ‘It’s time to get out of bed’ or ‘Jo, please get up and get into the shower’. Avoid questions such as ‘Are you going today?’ and ‘Could you get into the shower now?’ These give your child the chance to say ‘No!’ • Make your home ‘boring’ during school hours so that you don’t accidentally reward your child for not going to school. This means little or no TV, video games, leisure activities, internet use and other fun stuff. • Help your child stick to a reasonable sleep and wake cycle. It’s very hard to help your child get to school if she’s sleeping during the day and awake at night. GETTING TO SCHOOL • Get someone else to drop your child at school. Children often cope better with separation at home rather than at the school gate. • When your child goes to school, praise him by describing what he might be feeling. You could say , ‘I know this is very hard and I am proud of you for trying hard’. • Reward your child for going to school. This could be some special time with Mum or Dad, or stopping on the way home for an ice-cream or hot chocolate. The reward should be on the same day.

january 2016 | mychild

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School STARTING

WITH FRIDGE-TO-GO

Every parent knows the struggle of keeping lunches fresh when venturing out of the kitchen. The answer? FRIDGETO-GO. With a wide range of items that work just like your fridge, FridgeTo-Go is your saving grace. FridgeTo-Go offers you a compact, slim and portable fabric fridge. The Fridge-ToGo guarantee is 8 hours freshness with a stylish design that fits perfectly into a backpack. You can pack a healthy lunch for your child knowing it will stay cool, fresh and bacteria-free all day! There are also Pack’Ems Reusable Snack Pouches that are perfect for fruit, seeds, nuts, chips etc that are perfectly sized for every lunch box. Of course these pouches are also BPA, PVC and phthalate free – offering an environmentally friendly and cost conscious buy. And what about liquids? Well, Fridge-To-Go offers reusable food pouches called Squeez’Ems! Store your purees, smoothies or any other goodies for your kids instead of buying those pricey pouches that end up getting thrown away. I was surprised by the great selection of block colours and patterns - the lunchbox can fit your child’s personal style. It comes in a small size for children

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0-8 years, useful when breastfeeding, starting solids or needing snacks and it makes a great first lunch bag at school. This bag fits easily inside a nappy bag or backpack. There is a medium sized lunch box for your growing kids (and maybe even yourself!). Better yet, if you’ve got a large supply to lug around or you’re heading for a picnic, FridgeTo-Go even offers a fabric mini fridge! The Fridge-To-Go is much more than just a cooler bag. It is durable, collapsible, easily stored, re-usable and environmentally friendly (BPA and PVCfree and lead-safe) with biodegradable panels containing non-toxic purified salt water. So how does it work? Surround Cooling. So when you place any room temperature food & drink inside a fully recharged Fridge-to-go®, the patented chilling panels will take less than 2 hours to chill it, working just like your home refrigerator would and sometimes out performing it! Fridge-to-go makes lunches and carrying food and drinks around easy and stress-free. Visit http://www.fridge-to-go.net.au/ to get yours today.

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Kids

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Kid of the month PAX 3

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Trunki

PADDLEPAK PaddlePak is a water resistant backpack that is perfect for fun-filled days out and trips to the pool or beach. Made from lightweight and durable material, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s designed to stop wet stuff getting in, or leaking out. Recommended for ages 2-6 years old. . $34.95 RRP BLOOMANDGROWASIA.COM

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PRODUCT OF THE MONTH

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