My Child Magazine January 2019 Issue by My Child Magazine

MAGAZINE.COM.AU

ISSUE 88 - JANUARY 2019

book reviews jan 2019 EXCELLENCE

Awards 2019 NOMINATIONS NOW OPEN!

Tips On How To Talk To Children About Death

Tips on choosing a a school for you child

‘TIS THE SEASON TO… DIVORCE?

CONTENTS FEATURED ARTICLES

EVERY MONTH

YOUR CHILD

EDITORS LETTER

FEATURED ARTICLES

HOW TO OVERCOME

YOUR CHILDRENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BACK TO SCHOOL ANXIETY

By: Karlie Steenkamp

January 2019 | mychild

Starting school or going back-to-school can cause anxiety in many children. These feelings are normal and don’t necessarily mean your child is unhappy at school. Luckily there are a few things parents can do to try and ease those back-to-school anxieties.

1. Listen carefully and pay attention Children often express their emotions in different ways. Some are hyperactive, others are withdrawn. They do sometimes give hints about how they are feeling in the most subtle ways. Listen carefully at bedtime, at the dinner table and even when they play. Ask questions about how they feel about school to gain information on what is bothering them. That way you can set up an action plan to deal with those anxieties.

2. Organise play dates Organise play dates with your child’s school friends closer to the start of school. It can help the children bond with each other before they start the school year. If their friends are in the same school, they have something familiar to look forward to in class or at playtime.

3. Become familiar with the school It is always good to be prepared and know what to expect. Go to all the orientation programs. This helps put your child at ease. If they are going moving grades in the same school, take a walk or drive to school and start becoming familiar with the surroundings again. Some schools do offer transition programs helping students with their anxieties and allowing them to be familiar with the school, teachers and the classroom.

4. Talk Talk about what is making your child anxious. If they do not want to talk, let them draw you a picture or write it down. When you know what is making them anxious, then you can think together about ways to overcome these. Talk about what a typical day in school will look like and what you do when you are at school. This helps children see that you are feeling confident about them going back to school and that you have faith in them.

5. Routine Children thrive on routine. Get back into a school routine a few days before school starts. A child copes better with anxieties when they have enough sleep, regular healthy meals, and a good routine. This will also help them get used to the structure of the classroom once again. It makes them feel safe and confident knowing what to expect next.

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6. Plan A great way to get little children ready for school is by making a fun countdown calendar for them, with activities or a joke for each day. They do not know the sense of time, so counting days can help put time into perspective for them. Colouring sheets about school can help ease the anxiety because not only is colouring therapeutic, but they can also visualise the whole process of school. Older kids might like to help you plan their lunchbox menu for the week. Sit together and work out what they would like for school then your shopping list is also done. Two things done in one go. It is an exciting time, but also an anxious time, whether your child loves or dislike school. You as a parent might also feel anxious about the new school year, but make sure that your child does not feed off your anxiety. Make sure to keep up those play dates during the term as well to help nurture those friendships. Stay calm and tackle back-to-school anxieties with a clear mind. REFERENCE: BEYOND BLUE

January 2019 | mychild

Tips on choosing a s

By: Karlie S 12 January 2019 | mychild

FEATURED ARTICLES

school for your child

Steenkamp January 2019 | mychild

It can be overwhelming to search for a school for your child. Whether it is pre-school, Primary or Secondary school, it is a difficult decision. Firstly, as a parent you need to decide if you want to do private schooling or your local public school. Home Schooling is another option you can look into. Every school has their own ethos and focus. You have to find the best fit for your child. Choosing a school can be easy, given that you know what you are looking for. Here are tips on how to choose the right school for your child.

Public VS Private There are many pre-schools. So do your research and visit the ones that stand out to you. Every child is different and you will know what school feels right for your family. Most parents choose the budget-friendly option of their local public school. Private schools are more expensive, but have their own focus. Know what you want and what to look for. There can be a long waiting list for private schools, so the sooner you apply the better. Homeschooling is great for children who work better with one-on-one interaction. Ensure that you do your research surrounding the program.

Meet, greet and do your research It is important to do your research about the schools you might consider. Make appointments with the schools so that you can meet the principal, teachers and also get a feel of the school. Classrooms can give you a good vibe on how the classrooms are run. Doing a tour during school hours can give you a good idea on what every day would look like for your child. Is the school calm and quiet? This can give you an indication on what the discipline is like in the school. Have a look at the school’s official social media platforms. Regular post shows that the school is active, technology savvy, wants the community involved and takes pride in their school. Read the comments on the posts as well as the reviews. The same goes for their website. An updated website with current news is great. Look at the following things when doing your research: • Look at the school policies and behavior management. [Text Wrapping Break]Is it something you as a parent agrees with? • Classroom sizes. There are teacher versus student ratios and the smaller the classroom, the more attention your child may get. • School focus. Schools have different focuses. Some are strong academic schools, others might try and balance culture or sport with academics. • Transport surrounding the school. If you do not have a car, is it easy to catch a bus or a train?

14 January 2019 | mychild October 2018 | mychild

What is right for your child? BThe right school should tick most of your boxes. It is a personal choice and depends on the child. Every child is different. Some children might thrive in a certain school where others may not. If your child has special needs or needs more one-on-one interaction, speak to the schools you are considering and see what they will do to support your child. Find out what extracurricular activities the school offers. These can save you money from going to a club or an outside program. Primary schools offer out-of-school hour services. If you have to drop off your child early or pick them up late, it does cost extra, but it is worth finding out. More information is always the best. The more knowledge you have, the better educated decision you will make for your child. Speak to people in your community and get some recommendations. It can be nerve-wrecking, but remember you know what is best for your child. You will know the right school when you see it. Trust your instincts and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be afraid to raise your concerns with the school. If they can put your mind at rest and answer your questions, then you know your child will be in good hands. REFERENCE: RAISING CHILDREN

January 2019 | mychild

Wheels of A

Making

Goodbye

Written by: 16 January 2019 | mychild

Awareness

FEATURED ARTICLES

g School

es Easier

: Eve White

January 2019 | mychild

The first weeks, or even months of school can be a difficult time of transition for many children, and their parents too. For some kids, it will be the first time they’ve been separated from a parent for five or six consecutive hours. Even for those who are used to day care, the transition to the new environment can be challenging with new people to meet and social interactions to negotiate, new routines, a different environment and different expectations. But often, the most difficult bit of all is saying goodbye to mum or dad in the morning.

My oldest daughter struggled with school drop off in the first months of kinder – which here in Tasmania is the first year of (part time) school. She clung to me and cried in the morning; it was hard. But by some fortuitous fluke, I stumbled across exactly the right strategy to help her at exactly the right time. It worked like a magic trick. I remembered a book that I’d read a couple of years earlier: “The Whole Brain Child” by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson that applies neuroscience to parenting in a practical way. One of the concepts the authors describe is the “wheel of awareness”, a way of helping your child (or yourself) to regain perspective and see the bigger picture when she finds herself focussing on a particular fear or worry. With the wheel of awareness, you envisage your mind as a bicycle wheel with a hub in the centre and spokes extending to the outer rim. The hub in the centre represents an inner place in the mind from which you are aware of everything that’s happening around and within you. It essentially represents the prefrontal cortex, the part of our brain that integrates the whole brain and makes the soundest decisions. The outer rim of the wheel represents everything that you can be aware of: thoughts, feelings, dreams, desires, fears, memories, physical sensations, and perceptions of the world. There are times in your life when you get “stuck” on a rim point, focussing on a particular fear, worry or anxiety-provoking thought, forgetting about all the other rim points (i.e. experiences, feelings, sensations etc) that make up your life. As a consequence, at these times, you experience unhappiness, anxiety or excessive worry and fear. One way of countering this is to pick up a pencil and create a wheel of awareness to bring your attention back to all the other aspects of your life, yourself and your experiences, which can help you regain perspective and balance.

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When I questioned my daughter about school, it became clear to me that the most difficult part of her school day was saying goodbye to me in the morning. The rest of the day, on the whole, was fun. My teacher friends assure me that this is the case for most children who have trouble letting go of their parents in the morning; they are generally fine for the rest of the day. This is reassuring to know, but it doesn’t necessarily make the goodbye any less heartwrenching in the moment. One weekday morning - a morning that my daughter was saying she didn’t want to go to school - I suggested that we draw a circle, and divide it into segments. I adapted the wheel of awareness to suit a four year-old and ours was more a pizza of awareness, with each slice of pizza containing a picture that represents part of her school day. In each segment, I asked her to draw something that happened during a typical school day. We talked about it as she drew, and we ended up with six segments containing pictures of: painting / craft; her lovely teacher; good food for lunch; my daughter playing with her friends; picture books; and her saying goodbye to me in the morning. I asked her about each of these pictures: how did each one make her feel? She ascribed good feelings to each segment, except the one with a picture of us saying goodbye. We shaded each segment in either a “happy” or “sad” colour around the outer rim, sad being represented by blue, and happy by other colours. When I say it worked like a magic trick, it really did seem to elicit an instantaneous change in her outlook. When I pointed out to her that five of the six segments represented good, fun things and only one was sad, it was as if some switch in her brain clicked; she had discovered a whole new way of looking at things. Some kids take a comfort toy, an item to remind them of mummy or a picture of their family to school with them; my daughter asked if she could take the wheel of awareness in her pocket. And she didn’t actually need to look at it much – from that moment forward, the goodbyes were easier. Of course, as soon as you permit yourself a moment of smugness, thinking you’ve got parenting all worked out, the rules completely change with the next kid. My oldest daughter is fortunate to be a positive person by nature, as well as being quite rational; she wants to look on the bright side all the time and sometimes she just needs a little help. There is no guarantee that this magic trick will work for my younger daughter who starts school this year, or for your child. But it takes only a little effort to try and it’s a great tool to have up your sleeve not only for the start of the school year but for many other situations in life.

January 2019 | mychild

How t

School Su

Modest B

Written by J

20 January 2019 | mychild

FEATURED ARTICLES

to Buy

upplies

Budget

Jana Angeles

By: Jana Angeles

January 2019 | mychild

School supplies can get expensive, especially when you choose high quality notebooks with a hefty price tag attached. While your kids are excited about dumping all the shiny school supplies in the trolley, you may want to look over how much you’re actually willing to spend before going to your nearest stationery store. It’s tough to say no to your kids and maybe one year you were able to purchase that shiny pencil case so that they could be part of the ‘cool’ crowd. However, you may want to reduce spending this year on school supplies. If you’re in for a last minute shopping spree, here are some practical tips to help you save money when shopping for those backto-school essentials.

Look at home first This one’s a no brainer but you’d be surprised at how many things you’ll have lying around the house. There may be unused notebooks, a good packet almost new highlighters and plenty of pencils that can be used for handwriting, etc. It doesn’t make sense to stock up on school supplies your child already has. You do not need to buy them colouring pencils or texters every year. Only buy the supplies your child will actually need throughout the school year and avoid doubling up on items. Not only will this save you money, but it will also save you time having to search the items when you’re at the store.

Do your research and find out where you can get the best price The beauty of browsing online is being able to hunt for the best price on selected school supplies. This is good for those who are serious about saving money and don’t want to spend extra when they can get exactly what they need for a cheaper price. If it’s now time to purchase a new calculator and you know you can save a couple of dollars in one store, don’t be afraid to make the trip there and make the purchase. Also, if you see some of the notebooks you normally buy for your children are cheaper than normal retail value, stock up if you know that they’ll be using the same supplies next year. Bulk buying will help you save money and can provide you with less stress when you have to do it again once the year finishes.

Stick with the shopping list and only buy what your child needs You may find shopping for school supplies can be overwhelming, especially if you enter the store without having a list of what your child actually needs. Before heading to the shops, make a list of these items and review it before leaving the house. You can refine your list as soon as you find out that your child already has some school supplies at home. Bringing a list will help you stick to what you need and avoid overspending. Other tips to consider: • Talk to your children before leaving the house: It’s good to have a discussion with your kids about how you will be approaching school shopping for the year. There will be an opportunity for you to tell them that there is no room for the budget to get that cool pencil case they got last year. Negotiate and come to a good compromise on what needs to be purchased.

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• Encourage your children to look after their items: This point isn’t surprising at all because it’s a common tale that a child will lose a couple of their brand new, expensive colouring pencils in the first few months of school. Sit down with your children and show them how they can take care of their items. Tell them it is okay to let others borrow but also remind them that it’s important that they don’t forget to follow up and make sure that they are returned. • Be smart when purchasing school supplies: We all love a good deal, but sometimes buying generic brand isn’t the way to go if you’re after quality items. Don’t be afraid to pay a little extra on well-known brands instead of their generic counterparts. The last thing you want is to buy a glue stick that is a complete dud! School shopping is something to look forward each year. It’s a reminder that your child now has a fresh start in their schooling life and an opportunity to build on their skills. However, it’s important to leave a budget on purchasing school items, sparing yourself the heartache of overspending.

January 2019 | mychild

How to reduce H

Written by: J

24 December 2018 | mychild 24 January 2019 | mychild

FEATURED ARTICLES

Homework Stress

Jana Angeles

December 2018 | mychild 25 January 2019 | mychild

Your child taking homework to do every night can be stressful for them and on us. With reading assignments, multiplication tables and building hands-on projects, homework can be an unproductive nightmare when your children lack interest in the work being assigned to them. Homework may be a tedious task, however, it’s the first step to being independent with their studies and an opportunity to build on the skills they have been taught during school. Here are some ways you can take the stress off from your child and yourself and approach homework with a better mindset.

Getting a good night’s sleep Your child getting a good night’s rest is important because they perform their best at school and in everything they do. If you’ve been lenient with your child’s sleeping habits, it’s time to set some boundaries and send them to bed earlier. This will help them get a full 9-10 hours of sleep and give them the mental energy they need to start the day. Lack of sleep can be harmful to their health and and often can lead to extreme tiredness, which can affect their concentration when attempting to do homework.

Eating a well-balanced diet Preparing meals with lots of veggies and lean meats (chicken, beef) or fish can be a great way to help your child receive the nutrients they need. A good, well-balanced diet will not only make excellent brain food, but it can help boost their concentration and productivity levels when it comes to homework. Make sure you’re consistent in preparing healthy meals throughout the day and avoid food or drinks with added sugar or artificial flavourings. Do your best to give them fruits to combat those sugar cravings and give them alternative healthy snacks instead of chips and other unhealthy snacks. Eating well will help them feel mentally prepared for their homework session and can reduce their stress levels.

Schedule a time-block where homework needs to get done Before you child hits up the Xbox or computer, it’s wise to designate a time-block where they need to do homework first before undertaking any leisurely activities they look forward to after school. Designating a time-block for homework can help your child know what’s expected of them. If they try and negotiate out of their way of doing school work, take away any items of distraction and refuse to return any of them unless they have completed the work they need to do for school. This will teach them that without work, there’s no play. Tips: • Communicate your expectations: If your child is struggling to do their homework or seems resentful that you have changed their routine of leisure activities, communicate what is expected of them. Tell them that homework is important because it gives teachers the opportunity to see the progress made from your child. • Tidy up your child’s work space: Make sure when your child does homework, it is a tidy space, free from any distractions of any kind. Until they have completed the work they need to do, their work space is for school work only.

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• Realise that homework can be challenging at times and that your child may not understand it: Each child is different and depending on the subject matter, they may not be able to disseminate the information easily as opposed to another student. Do your best to teach your child instead of showing frustration when they get the answer wrong in a question. Remind yourself that homework is just part of the learning process. • Speak to your child’s teacher if you are concerned about your child’s progression: If you feel that your child is getting left behind because they simply don’t understand the work that’s been given to them through homework, speak to your child’s teacher and ask about what they are like as a student in class. Discuss what are the best ways to approach how your child can best understand learning material and go from there.

BIRTH ARTICLE

• Hire a tutor: If you simply do not have the time to look over your child’s work and would rather pay someone to do it, hire a tutor. They can help your child throughout the week when it comes to their homework and will give you less stress knowing that they are given extra

January 2019 | mychild

28 January 2019 | mychild

PREGNANCY

Why Keeping Your

Pregnancy on the

Down Low May Be a Good Thing

Words by Jana Angeles

January 2019 | mychild

If you’re generally a private person and like to keep things on the down low, it may not be a surprise to you that you’d rather wait until you start telling people that you have a bun in the oven. However, we understand that excitement can get the best of us and we want to tell a few of our friends and our partner about the news, making it less of a secret to family and friends about the upcoming pregnancy. While it is a good idea to tell people the good news, it can also be overwhelming to receive advice from friends and other relatives on what you should and shouldn’t do while you’re pregnant. It can be stressful having this over your head so it may be a good thing to keep your pregnancy on the down low - here’s why.

You want to have a low-key celebration If you don’t like the idea of having people throwing a lavish party for you to celebrate your pregnancy, then keeping it hush for a while can mean you can celebrate with your partner and some of your close friends and family over dinner at your place or at a restaurant. Keeping it low-key can mean making a memorable occasion out of it, without the hurrah of all of your friends and family, which may be overwhelming.

You’re not ready to tell people just yet If the thought of telling people that you’re pregnant gives you anxiety, maybe it’s best to wait it out a bit. The decision of telling people is a huge one, especially if you’re thinking about sharing it via a social media post on Facebook and Instagram. While it may result people showering you with ‘Congratulations’ comments here and there, there may be lots of questions about an upcoming baby shower from your friends. The expectations may make you feel unsettled and the last thing you want is to be a people pleaser at the end of the day.

You feel like it’s not a genuine announcement if you’ve put it on social media As mentioned above, sharing it on social media may be your first preference because it takes the pressure off actually keeping it from your friends and family, making it “official” that you’ve now put it on Facebook or Instagram. However, you may feel like it’s not really a genuine announcement and loses the authentic touch of telling people in person. Maybe it’s time to reconsider your options and keep your pregnancy on the down low before you start making haste decisions.

Signs you’re ready to tell people about your pregnancy If you simply cannot justify waiting to tell the good news about your pregnancy, here are some signs that you’re definitely ready to tell the people who are dear to you that you have a little one on the way:

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• You start getting excited at the thought of celebrating with friends and family: you just can’t wait until they all know that you are expecting. The thought of throwing a reveal party that you’re pregnant is something you want to plan thoughtfully. • You’re not worried about the advice you’ll get from people about pregnancy: if anything, you can learn a thing or two from people who have already gone through it. If this is your first child, you may want to know what the best and worst parts of pregnancy are. • You simply want to celebrate your own happiness: if you and your partner have been trying to have a baby for a while and you’ve gone through a couple of setbacks, it only makes sense that you want to share the happiness around friends and family. You and your partner have done the hard yards, so keeping it a secret is pointless in the grand scheme of things if creating a family has been a top priority for quite some time. Whatever you decide, keeping your pregnancy on the down low has it perks. However, if you and your partner have been trying to have a baby, maybe it’s still worth telling the news to family and friends when you can’t wait any longer.

January 2019 | mychild

It goes without saying that having a baby is a life-altering experience. Parenting journeys take shape differently - which is why not one parents’ story is ever the same as the next. How we parent and what we learn along the way differs from others, too. I asked several parent friends what they considered to be the top lessons learned along the way. Here, we share them with you.

1. Babies do not come with a manual: Do you remember the famous cabbage patch doll from the 80s? Carefully packaged with a birth certificate and a booklet of instructions? If only it were that easy, right? We all know that is not what happens with the little humans we bring into this world. In fact, it is one statement that we can all agree on - babies do not come with manuals. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter how many child development books you read or how many nights you spend on “Google scholar” researching parenting - nothing will prepare you for the real thing. 32 January 2019 | mychild

BIRTH ARTICLE

LIFE LESSONS

learned after

GIVING BIRTH By: Genie Price

It will take a few months, even years to work out what your baby’ personality might be, during which one thing is for sure, your baby will evolve and grow in ways that do not go by “the book”.

2. Fed is best: Breast or formula? The age old debate of breast is best vs formula fed is still a hot debate, even in 2018. We all know there is clear evidence to indicate breast milk contains exclusive nutrients that are more beneficial in the early days of life, helping fight infections as your baby grows and develops. However, one thing many mothers learn throughout their journey into motherhood is that until you actually become a Mum, you won’t know if you can breastfeed or not. Your initial plans can change in a heartbeat and you can be left with doing what’s best, but not necessarily what you wanted. If you can breastfeed, awesome. If you can’t – that’s okay too. Whatever you choose, you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about that choice. Unless you’re baby develops a severe allergic reaction to formula, the chances are they will still grow in equal measures to a bub on breast milk. January 2019 | mychild

(Please note: Not all mothers can breastfeed and each person should do as their body will allow. If you are under the supervision of a professional, please seek their advice before significantly changing your babies’ food intake).

3. Mum knows best: A mother’s intuition is a fine thing and should never be ignored. At some stage throughout motherhood, you’ll experience it. A mother’s intuition is known as the deep bond between mother and child. It can often be that uncomfortable feeling you get when you sense something is not right. It can also exhibit as positive emotions, also. Not everyone understands it, let alone listens to it – however, if you ever do experience such feelings, it’s okay to follow your gut. Chances are, whatever the situation may be, you were right.

4. Your husband/partner admires your strength Often, you think that the man in your life is on another planet, maybe you think that he doesn’t seem to care, acknowledge or even notice the struggles you’re having as a parent. This, in most cases, is not true. • They notice you and they acknowledge your strength • They understand priorities change and that’s OK • They love you more now than they did before • They hear your struggles and will respond the best way they know how • They are learning to be a new Dad, too Together, you can make a great team. Take each day as it comes and your journey should be a great one.

5. Everyone claims to be a parenting expert: We all do our best and there’s a lot of people who aren’t afraid to express that they know everything there is to know about being a parent. While offering support and advice is okay, unless your friend is a qualified midwife or paediatrician, not one person is an expert on the subject of newborn babies and little humans. You’re doing just fine. Tips: • It’s perfectly okay to have those conversations, to compare experiences and share ideas. • What works for their baby, will not necessarily work for yours. • Do not let any other person tell you how to raise your babies and avoid telling other parents what to do with theirs Unless you are asked for advice or a concerned that a child’s immediate safety is in danger, politely keep your opinions to yourself.

6. You may need to fine tune your finances: Whether your pregnancy was planned or not, having babies and raising a family increases the cost of living. Are you prepared? Those new items you need, such as prams, cots and accessories for your new bubs are going to take its toll on expenses. As your child grows, the costs associated are going to rise, too. What to consider:

34 January 2019 | mychild

• Medical costs • Day-care costs • Clothing and nappies • Toys and growth accessories • Schooling and books The list goes on. Don’t fall into a debt trap by not thinking that you might need to prepare. If you have time, minimise the risk of placing yourself and your family in debt or unsatisfactory situations, by saving consistently. If not much time is afoot, seek advice to support you to make the right choices before your bub is due.

7. Dad’s get post-natal depression too Pregnancy is a powerful and life-changing experience for both women and men. It can stir up some strong, deep and unexpected emotions and issues and while antenatal and post-natal depression is more publicly identified in women, men can suffer too. 1 in 10 men will be affected by either post or antenatal depression. Antenatal is during pregnancy, post-natal is after birth. If you notice that your husband or partner is down in the dumps either pre or post baby, it might be worth a visit to the doctor. Your mental health as well as your partner’s is important and should be treated as such. Take care of each other, as parenthood is quite the roller coaster ride and if you are not mentally prepared for it, it won’t be a fun journey. For more info: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/men/what-causes-anxietyand-depression-in-men/new-fathers A few more lessons learned: • Take photos when they are little to help remind you how much you love them when they are teenagers • Housework can wait, because each stage is over in a flash, enjoy the time you have together • Kids are resilient • Eating hot food is a luxury • Juggling work-life balance is just that, a juggling act • Everyone is just as clueless as you • You will never sleep the same again While most of the changes are overwhelmingly happy ones, like when your little one laughs for the first time, some may be a little tougher to handle. You transform into a sleep-deprived zombie, spend countless hours changing a never-ending stream of nappies and have to fork over a pretty big chunk of your time and finances, but all this and more is part in parcel of parenthood. An experience not all get the luxury to have, so if you do, treasure the memories and make the journey your own. About the Author: I’m a mother of two boys aged 7 and 10. Lucky to have them, I was blessed to experience two healthy pregnancies and had a super support network to make sure I was doing ok throughout! Parenting is hard work, do your best and your children will thank you for it.

January 2019 | mychild

36 January 2019 | mychild

What A Good Travel Stroller Can Do for Your Family Holiday! For as long as I can remember, right back to my own childhood, I have travelled. I’ve been all over the world and I’m pretty sure I have flown around it several times. I love traveling and exploring new parts of the world that when my husband and I decided to marry, we even eloped. I remember during that holiday we talked about how much our lives were going to change, and we promised each other that even when kids came along, we wouldn’t stop going on adventures just because we had started our family……. Fast forward a year and a bit after our wedding and yep, we had a little baby girl Max. It took us 18 months after her birth to get the courage to go on a holiday and off we went on a 2-month adventure to the Greek Islands, Italian Coast and Egypt. We were rookies on that trip and as such made some terrible mistakes which were not just limited to the following: took everything but the kitchen sink for our baby, took a standard pram that had to be stowed when boarding the plane and stayed in hotels vs. apartments. Making mistakes when travelling with children is all part of the journey, but the one lesson I took away most from that trip was to make sure that we had a good TRAVEL pram for our next adventure! So, in December 2018 we set off on our next family vaycay and this time we decided to head to Colombia in South America for a 5-week adventure. Max is now 3 ½, so choosing the right travel stroller was a little overwhelming. I needed something light, compactable, that was suitable as carry-on luggage and most importantly would allow my daughter to nap during the day. On this holiday Max and I travelled separately from hubby, he went ahead of us to do some trekking and as a result I had to make sure that I had a pram that would meet my needs as a single parent traveling with a child. I was given the opportunity to review the New Baby Jogger city tour 2TM stroller and I can happily report that this stroller is everything you need without really knowing what you need, if that makes any sense! The city tour 2TM looks just like a standard pram but is small and compactable, and it packs down into a neat little backpack which can be stowed as hand luggage on all flights. It’s super lightweight at only 6.5Kgs which makes it easy to manage on your own and the steering and control of this stroller is so good, I’m not sure why you would need any other pram regardless of your traveling status. Let Me Take You Through the Fold of This Pram, It Is Pretty Dam Spectacular! I loved how simple it was to fold, the city tour 2TM can literally be folded in 30 seconds flat. By releasing the stroller from the safety locked position on the handlebar, you just follow the fold flow by pushing the handlebar forward and then lifting from the middle of the seat and wham, its folded. My husband even managed to do this on his first try and that not only surprised me, but reinforced that it was simple to use. I cannot tell you how many times I went to the car when Max was a baby to find the pram laying on its side in the boot with a

Packing the Stroller into The Backpack Was Just as Simple as Folding. Once folded, you place the cover over the handlebars and slide over the stroller ready to be zipped up. You will need to remove the back wheels and by pressing the release buttons on the stroller’s rear wheels, they slide off without any fuss. Place the rear wheels over each other and place in the bag over the footrest and zip up the bag and you’re ready to stow as carry-on luggage. The best part was no waiting for your pram when you disembarked off a flight!

January 2019 | mychild

If You Have Ever Travelled with A Child That Still Naps, Making Sure That They Get Their Rest Is A Must. Traveling previously without a decent stroller made nap times extremely difficult and often resulted in a cranky, overtired toddler for the rest of the day. The one thing that I loved most about the city tour 2TM was the laying positions it offered. You can lay your child in a 180 degrees flat position or completely upright and anything in between. The seat adjustment is easy to use, and you can customise the position to whatever is needed.

The Footrest on The Stroller Is the Secret Gift That You Didn’t Know You Needed. It is adjustable and turns the city tour 2TM into the perfect daytime nap bed that you need for a tired child.

As for How It Performs When Out and About? TThere are so many things about this stroller that you’ll love, for one the steering on this stroller is exceptional. It’s easy to manoeuvre, glides around on any hard surface and offers an extremely smooth ride for your little one. We loved how the canopy is also adjustable and offers SPF 50+ protection and has a peek a book window on the top so you can check on your child. There is a foot break on the back wheel, so when you are out and about you don’t have to worry about your little one rolling away either.

38 January 2019 | mychild

As for How It Performs When Out and About? There are so many things about this stroller that you’ll love, for one the steering on this stroller is exceptional. It’s easy to manoeuvre, glides around on any hard surface and offers an extremely smooth ride for your little one. We loved how the canopy is also adjustable and offers SPF 50+ protection and has a peek a book window on the top so you can check on your child. There is a foot break on the back wheel, so when you are out and about you don’t have to worry about your little one rolling away either. Overall the features that the city tour 2TM offered us saved us so much stress and anxiety around travelling with Max, especially around her nap times. It was easy to manage at the airports, stow on the planes and ultimately made our travelling experience with a stroller trouble free which was what we needed. Not only would I recommend the city tour 2TM as your go to option for a travel stroller, but as a stroller for everyday use. It really was everything we needed with so much more. At $499 this is the stroller every traveling parent needs. The new city tour 2TM is available from 1st February 2019. For more information visit: www. babyjoggerstrollers.com.au.

January 2019 | mychild

By: Annie Wylie

HOW SELF-CARE

will make you a

BETTER PARENT 40 January 2019 | mychild

BABY ARTICLES

When you get on a plane you’re told that, in an emergency, you should put your own oxygen mask on before helping those around you, including your kids. This instruction goes against most parents’ instincts – but if you lose consciousness you can’t help anyone. The same thing can be said about self-care.

What is self-care? Self-care is anything you enjoy doing that helps make you happy and helps maintain your physical, mental or emotional health. It’s something that refuels you, and does not feel like a chore to do. It’s a simple concept in theory but is often overlooked, especially when kids are in the picture.

How will taking care of myself help my kids? You might often find yourself running low on energy with all the things going on in your life and family. Self-care can help boost your energy, helping you be a more effective parent. You’re likely to have more patience with your kids, giving them more attention and being more engaged. Far from being selfish, self-care is one of the best ways to help your family. When parents practise self-care, it’s been shown that kids are encouraged to do the same, and take this positive habit into later life. Since kids look to their parents as role models, your self-care also helps teach your kids to look after themselves better!

Why self-care is often at the bottom of the priority list You’ve got a million things on your plate - grocery shopping, important presentations to your boss, school pick-ups, Saturday sport, relationship drama...it’s no wonder self-care is way down on your list. “I don’t have enough time.” When your family needs help you might feel guilty spending time on yourself. That’s why it’s important to remember that your self-care is good for your whole family.\ “I don’t have the energy.” Your family juggling act tends to take everything you’ve got. A simple self-care routine can help keep your energy up and stop you from collapsing in a heap. “It’s too expensive.” Money is always a consideration, whether it’s for you or your family. Simple pleasures can be as effective as shelling out – you just have to find what’s right for you.

By: Jana Angeles

January 2019 | mychild

How to make self-care a family priority For busy, hectic parents and families, making self-care a priority can help you feel happier and more physically, mentally and emotionally able to deal with life’s pressures and stresses. 1. Work together to figure out what self care is the best for you. Individually ask yourselves, what makes you feel good? What would you like to do more of? Self-care is different for everyone. 2. Allocate individual time for self-care. Even 5 or 10 minutes adds up so don’t get overwhelmed with needing half a day to relax. Be realistic with how much time you need to feel benefits from your self-care. 3. Commit to a routine. Put your individual self-care plans into the family planner. Look at this as an ongoing plan, rather than an emergency response for when things get too much. Selfcare activities should be the last to be dropped from the schedule, not the first. 4. Get support. Back each other up! Tell each other what you’re doing and when, and encourage the family to help and support each other. Swap chores so someone can go do their scheduled self-care and ask for help if needed. 5. Reflect and adapt. Schedule a time to check in and see how everyone’s doing. Adapt what isn’t working – would a different time of day work better or would a different day work better? Encourage your family to keep at it. Be clear that you value self-care and will always support them in being able to do it.

Get started with self-care It is important for you to find self-care activities that work for you. It shouldn’t be something you’re forcing yourself to do. Stick to the basics to begin with and over time you’ll find your own routine and rhythm. Here are some examples of common things people do to practise self-care.

• Physical self-care * Exercise: walking, running, cycling, swimming, or doing classes and fun runs and rides. These can be a good way to get some much needed alone time, or organise or join a group if you prefer the company! * Sport: throwing or kicking a ball around at the park with friends or joining a local club or gym. That small martial arts gym you pass on the way home, or the roller derby your friend’s been raving about may be your new favourite thing!

• Emotional self-care * Entertainment: listening to music, watching a film or going to a gig, show or game. * Nature: going for a hike, going to the park, gardening or planting a window box.

• Creative and spiritual self-care * Imagination: start writing, drawing, photographing or even joining creative classes. Pro tip: check out local community centres or even pubs - life drawing is quite common to find these days! * Education: reading books, listening to podcasts, or learning a language, an instrument or a craft. * Spirituality: attending a service, reading scripture or meditating regularly.

42 January 2019 | mychild

If you’re still having some trouble getting started, try this quiz to help you find out what type of self-care is right for you.

Things to remember Self-care isn’t going to be an immediate cure-all. It’s very individual and what works for some won’t work for others. You might need some time to find what works best for you. Stick at it though, and gradually making it part of your routine will give you long-term benefits, rather than as an emergency fix. Remember that self-care isn’t selfish and will benefit both you and your kids. Not only will self-care relax and refuel you, but it will increase your emotional, physical and mental health. You’ll have much more energy and patience to spend quality time with your kids. Above all, be kind to yourself!

January 2019 | mychild

5 TIPS O

to talk to

ABOUT

BY: KARLI ST

44 January 2019 | mychild

TODDLER 2-4 YEARS

ON HOW

children

DEATH

STEENKAMP

January 2019 | mychild

As parents, we want to shield our kids and put them in a bubble. The reality is that we have to equip them with skills and knowledge to know how to process difficult times. Death is a topic no one wants to talk about, however it is inevitable. The GroundSwell Project is transforming the way Australians think and respond about death. This project was established in 2009 by Clinical Psychologist Kerrie Noonan and Playwright Peta Murray. Both want to educate people to have a better understanding of death literacy and how to embrace death. There is a huge need for a project like The GroundSwell Project. According to Noonan, there needs to be a creative approach when talking about death. Only 24% of Australians feel comfortable with talking about death, dying or loss. We need to be more open about these “taboo” topics. “ if discussions about death with children are avoided, it sends the message that death should be feared instead of being part of life.” In August the annual “Dying to know Day” centres around conversations and curiosities that builds death literacy. One of the main reasons parents don’t want to talk to children about death is the fear of making the situation worse or causing more hurt. When we are fearful, our thinking shuts down instead of opening up – so even if our gut feeling is “I really want to talk to my child about a death”, we can ignore our best judgement. To shield our kids from death goes against the natural resilience that children have.

Tips on how to talk to children about death: 1. Don’t compare death to sleeping If you tell a child someone is sleeping, it can be very confusing and scary. They can be afraid to fall asleep. 2. The significance of inclusion There is no ‘best age’ to talk about death. The best time is to talk about it when it happens. It is through experience that people learn best, so include them in hospital visits and dying rituals. This gives them enough time to come to terms with it. 3. Use plain language Use simple words and phrases when you are talking to a child about death. Use plain language such as dead, died, their heart stopped and coffin. An example of what to say is “his heart stopped beating and then his body stopped working and he died.” Be straightforward and give them the facts. 4. Teachable moments There are many moments that one can use to talk about death. Don’t flush the goldfish or quickly replace pets that die. Children learn a great deal from pet funerals and about grief.

46 January 2019 | mychild

5. Be honest and give children space Don’t rush the grieving process. Grief usually comes in short intense bursts. Children grieve differently than adults and this can take several days, weeks and months as they become more curious. Psychologist Kerrie Noonan shared her thoughts with My Child Magazine and why The GroundSwell Project is changing the way we think about death in this exclusive Q&A.

On the point of inclusion, do you think children should be included in every ritual like open caskets and cremation? Yes. Adults who have grown up in families where they participated in family rituals around death and loss don’t have distressing memories. They have memories of being included and taking part in the family and culture. Children cope better when they have small jobs to do. It might be handing out the memorial books, writing a poem or finding photos.

Parents are unsure about how honest they should be when questions come up. What advice would you give parents who are afraid that their children will be scared if they know the facts? My own personal experience was when our family dog were euthanised. My kids took him home and conducted their own funeral including a wake with friends at the local café. It was still sad and distressing at times, but they knew what to expect. This demonstrated how death and loss are absolutely part of family life. The trick as a parent is allowing it to happen.

When do parents know what is normal grief and when should you get help for your child? Most parents have everything they need to support their children following death. Extra cuddles and giving them space when they need it. You should start worrying when a child isn’t sleeping well or eating more or less, can’t concentrate on their school work or sports. Children are good at letting adults know either through their behaviour or telling you directly that they feel a bit stuck or overwhelmed by their grief. Talk to your children about what you are worried about and make a plan to see a counsellor or psychologist if needed. Adults are also role models for children - don’t hide your emotions or pretend. Talk about how you are coping too. A great deal of learning happens when we share our grief with our children. Many movies, TV and books revolve around themes of loss and resolution. Watching them and discussing the themes with your children are a great way to talk about death. Death is part of life and children should learn to cope with that grief. It is never easy, but no one needs to go through grieving alone. Be there for each other and also let yourself feel.

January 2019 | mychild

48 January 2019 | mychild

KIDS 5-8 YEARS

Battle of

the Greens: BUILDING HEALTHY HABITS

Words by Melinda Richards

January 2019 | mychild

Encouraging your little ones to make healthy food choices can feel like a nutritional battleground, and to your kids, veggies are the enemy! The good news is, little by little, you can make healthy eating habits a part of their lifestyle. It’s all about making food fun and encouraging them to get involved from a young age to garner their interest early. These simple tips will assist you in the daily endeavor to ensure your kids receive the nutrients they need to build healthy habits in their early years.

1. Make good food fun While every meal doesn’t have to be an Insta-worthy creation, simply adding an element of fun to your kids’ meals will likely increase the chance of them eating it. Even a chicken salad sandwich can be made into an exciting meal when armed with a toolkit of creative additions, such as cookie cutters featuring their favourite animals or shapes. There is just something about star shaped sandwiches that kids can’t seem to resist. In creating this child-friendly food, you’ll be ensuring their lunch isn’t ending up at the bottom of their school bag and that come break time, they are excited to munch on their homemade lunch.

2. Kickstart the day with a Shrek inspired smoothie: Nothing beats a great smoothie, so why not give your family that fresh feeling every morning by kickstarting the day with one full of green goodness. Our go-to is a kid-friendly blend of banana, frozen mango, coconut water, broccoli sprout powder and spinach to ensure they are filled with green energy all before the school run. To eliminate the debate, blend it up and pop the green smoothie in a funky cup, for them to proudly march around sipping. If you’re finding your mornings are always a rush, why not pop your ingredients in the blender the night before and make breaky time even easier. While you’re at it, make one for yourself so you feel just as energized as your little munchkins.

50 January 2019 | mychild

3. Mini master chef: Children love helping in the kitchen and are more inclined to eat healthy snacks they have helped prepare. Assign ageappropriate tasks to children ahead of meal times to increase interest in the dish. Kitchen skills like egg cracking, herb picking, and whisking are always great and safe ones to start with. This responsibility will make them proud about what that have whipped up and gives you the chance to spend more quality time with your children after a busy day. We’re sure they’ll thank you for it one day too when they take on fending for themselves and realise your cooking wasn’t as easy as it looked!

3. Just add colour: Artificial colours seem to sneak into everyday foods and can make grocery shopping a minefield for parents. To keep food additive-free stick to unprocessed foods with natural ingredients! We know vibrant coloured food appeals to kids so kit out your pantry with a rainbow of natural colours that can easily be added to yoghurts and dips for a colourful twist. We love Super Sprout’s Broccoli Sprout Powder for green, beetroot powder for red and blueberry powder for bright purple. These types of powder are super easy to add to everything and anything and mean even the fussiest of eaters are still being filled with their daily veg.

3. Daily greens: Keep your child’s diet clean and green and they will grow up to appreciate fresh, healthy food and how great it makes them feel both inside and out. We don’t recommend eliminating sugar or ‘sometimes food’ altogether… Just keep refined food and sugars to a minimum, to ensure your kids are getting the essential vitamins and nutrients they need to grow up healthy and strong. Creating these clean eating habits early, will guide the entirety of your child’s life and make them realise that a healthy living lets them thrive. Not to mention, healthy habits are surprisingly cost effective and your cooking skills will increase once you rid the cupboard of packet mixes and take on whole food recipes. The old rule of ‘everything in moderation’ will help too, encourage balanced eating packed full of nutrients so their bodies will receive everything they need through their years of growth.daily veg. Writer’s Bio: Melinda Richards is CEO and Founder of Australian owned and operated business, Super Sprout. Melinda writes with over 10 years’ experience in the nutrition industry and personal insights from her practice as a parent. Super Sprout specialises in growing and producing 100 per cent pure all-natural fruit and vegetable powders. Find out more about Melinda Richards at www.supersprout.co and follow her journey here.

January 2019 | mychild

NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S RESOLUTION

Dads should SHOULD MAKE

By: Lance Green

52 January 2019 | mychild

DAD READ

January 2019 | mychild

While January is coming to a close, it’s not too late to make some decent New Year Resolutions to get you excited about the opportunities 2019 will bring. For us dads, it only makes sense to take responsibility for our actions and also be grateful for our family and our friends. No matter the occasion, if you feel unhappy about where you’re at the moment or simply need to improve your approach to life, here are some realistic and humbling resolutions you should set for the new year.

Be kind It doesn’t take long to be kind to yourself and others. There are plenty of ways to spread kindness, which doesn’t mean the expense of your hard earned money. Maybe being kind means adopting a new diet to feel better physically and mentally or you want to adopt a new skill to help you improve your own job prospects. You can even choose to sacrifice a bit of your coffee money to your chosen charity of your choice to help those less fortunate. Whatever you decide, there is no harm in being kind. Making a difference makes you a better person.

Be loving Love makes the world go round, without it, it would be a very dark place indeed. Showing love for your family and friends means you cherish them no matter the circumstance - good or bad. This is important when times get a bit tough and we all need to feel supported in our everyday life. Life has its ups and downs, so no matter how you’re feeling at this moment, you need to start making it count by spreading love and happiness to those around you. Life is too short, so cherish everything you have right now!

Work hard, but not too hard We often get carried away with work and sometimes need to pull an overtime to get everything finished, but at what expense? It’s okay to stay back at work sometimes when you know your life at home is okay, but if you do this and it starts affecting your livelihood with both your partner and your kids, it’s not worth it in the end. Be smart when it comes to making the most of your 8-hour window at work and don’t put so much pressure on yourself just to impress the boss. You have another life to live so be content at work and know that the money is supporting your family in the long run. If you are receiving pressure at work and can’t do the hours, speak to your boss and come to a mutual understanding, otherwise, look elsewhere and find a job that aligns with your core values.

54 January 2019 | mychild

Make spending time with the kids and your partner a priority You aren’t a perfect person and there will be days where life can get a bit busy and you’re just doing mundane tasks over and over again. However, you shouldn’t forget to live a little and spend some quality time with your kids and your partner. This is especially important if your kids are quite young and are at the “playing” stage - they want you involved in everything you do. Be thoughtful for their enthusiasm and be up for a game or two to keep them entertained. Teach them how to ride a bike or read them their favourite story books. Strengthening the bonds you have with the kids is important and making memories with them while they’re younger is worthwhile. Also, don’t forget to spend quality one-on-one time with your partner. Get a trusted relative or a hire a babysitter and try and pen in a date night every few weeks. This is a great way to hit the reset button and be yourselves without the kids. We sometimes need to have a break from them and remind ourselves that we aren’t just parents, we are people who have our own lives too! With 2019 just starting, it’s important to evaluate our goals and be realistic about our approach to them. At the end of the day, making time for our family and friends is what counts and our work should not get in the way of what is truly important. Be kind, be humble and count all the blessings that come to you this year!

January 2019 | mychild

56 January 2019 | mychild

January 2019 | mychild

How To Keep Your Food Cool And Fresh All Day, Every Day by: Bianca Medina

58 January 2019 | mychild

January 2019 | mychild

Do you remember the days when you went to school and the only way to you keep your lunch cold was to put a frozen popper in your lunchbox? Ummm, having a nice cool sandwich on a hot day brings back memories, but with this little luxury came the danger of ending up with a soggy sandwich once your popper defrosted and leaked through the cling wrap that was keeping your sandwich dry and fresh…. There is nothing worse than eating a soggy sandwich, and I have to admit I ate more than one! Well fast forward 20+ years and 1 child later and gone are the days where you have to worry about how to keep YOUR child’s food cold and fresh... there is no need any more for the good old frozen popper trick, best of all, no need to worry about soggy sandwiches.

There is a lot to love about the Fridge to Go, here’s what I think makes this cooler bag stand out from the rest: • It is super easy to use – you can just place the whole bag it in the freezer, or if you don’t have the room in the freezer, you can simply remove and place the panels in the freezer. • It will literally keep your food cold for up to 8 hours - no other product in the market offer this. • It’s durable, re-usable and is a compact size • It’s environmentally friendly and is BPA, PVC and Lead-Free. • It comes in a range of cool colours and patterns to suit all personalities frombaby to parent.

60 January 2019 | mychild

As a user of the Fridge to Go Cooler Bag, it totally changed the way I travelled with a fussy eating toddler. Now before getting a Fridge to Go, I used a many food storage solution but none that stood out. A lot of the air tight containers and cooling lunchboxes I tried, allowed the sandwiches to either dry out and build up a crusty outer layer or become squishy with the heat. When this happened, I can still hear my darling daughter little voice saying “Yuk Mamma, I don’t like”. This sentence still haunts me as it could mean the end to a perfectly planned day out…... Yep, it was that bad…... If you’ve experienced having a fussy eating child, you’ll know that leaving the house without packed food is just not a good idea. I started packing my fussy toddler sandwiches and fruit very early on as there was not always food options suitable to her when we were out and about and that lead to many meltdowns. Once I started using the Fridge to Go, everything changed. I simply pop the cooler bag in the freezer overnight and the next morning I make fresh sandwiches and cut up some fresh fruit, wrapped in glad wrap or in sandwich bags, placed the food in the Fridge to Go and off we go. When we stopped to eat, the food is still cold even after a long day out at the zoo and most of the time longer than the promised 8 hrs. I was sceptical at first, so many promises, but as frequent zoo visitor’s (we go at least once a month and live a good hours drive away) I can honestly say that the Fridge to Go delivers on exactly what it promises - Cold Food for up to 8 hours….. Here’s what other mums had to say about the Fridge to Go cooler bag: “I love this cooler bag. I have a 1 year old and I have been using this since she started eating solids at 6 months. The cooler bag not only keeps her water cool but her yogurts and fruits always feel like they have just come out of the fridge when I take them out of the cooler bag. I would recommend this to all mum of babies that are starting solids” Jess – mother of little 1-year old girl “My son is generally a bad eater and we have always had to buy his lunch as he has refused to eat a packed lunch, he claims it doesn’t taste fresh. I got a Fridge to Go as it was recommended by another mum of a fussy eater and I pack my son a ham and salad roll with no tomato and was over the moon when he came home and told me that he ate his lunch and it tasted fresh…. Thanks Fridge to Go, it may have taken me until he was 12 to eat a packed lunch, but it’s better late than never” Kim mother of 12-year old boy If you want a product that offers an all-day solution to keeping your lunch cold and fresh, the Fridge to Go is the only cooler bag you need to consider. It’s patented high performing chilling panels won’t let you or the contents of your cooler bag (whether it’s your kids sandwich or a mini bottle of wine for you) down. For more information, visit http://fridge-to-go.net.au and place your order today.

January 2019 | mychild

‘TIS THE SEASON TO…

DIVORCE?

BY: KYLIE KADEN

62 January 2019 | mychild

RELATIONSHIP

By: Jana Angeles January 2019 | mychild

Another year over, a new one just begun… January: it’s the month of resolutions, gym memberships, and new beginnings. But in the wake of all that Christmas merriment, glitter and lights, (and lots of family togetherness) all of us can feel a little flat and exhausted come the new year. But once the fairy dust settles and the last light is snuffed out, often it’s also the time of year we have a good hard look at our lives. And for many, they find themselves wanting. Wanting - a new job? A new kitchen? A new dress- size?

While some vow to quit bad habits in the new year, others make plans to quit their partner. Here’s how it might start. They hear a fuzzy recording of an old Christmas favourite, remember dancing to it in the first flush of love, and think now it just sounds schmaltzy. They discover, when they actually spend more than a few hour s together at a time, they no longer have anything in common. They might even go as far as realising they’d rather poke sticks in their eyes than put on this charade again for another year. These common January scenarios can push those high festive season emotions to breaking point. In fact, many divorce lawyers worldwide consider January divorce month. Yep. It has its own season. Whether the surge in couples presenting with problems after Christmas is simply a backlog of cases (a hangover of families wanting to give the kids ‘one last Christmas’ before the split), the stress of the holidays incubating relationship-ending fights, or purely a return to reality after sugar coating problems, no one can be sure. But what is certain, is the rise in phone enquiries, internet searches about separating, lodged applications for divorce and appointments scheduled at family lawyers swells by about a third, each January. Lawyers who have consoled hundreds of struggling couples in their armchairs say there are several common signs of relationships on the precipice of a permanent split: • Money - they fight over finances. If a spouse is hiding money or spending it crazily on personal items without discussing it first, it can lead to more serious troubles; resentment, anger and broken trust. Rising debt also increases anxiety and pressure on the main breadwinner, and can make individuals feel the need to ‘keep score’ on who brings what to a relationship instead of viewing themselves as a team. • Communication - they stop talking. Work and family commitments can reduce time spent together to the point that they simply don’t share their concerns, let alone talk them through to a satisfactory resolution. Once intimacy is lost, they may start resenting their partners attempts to express emotion as they have their own issues to deal with, or simply stop caring and become indifferent. After months or years, these patterns of communication can become entrenched. Individuals may find themselves withdrawing from one another and either break-down emotionally, or seek support outside the marriage.

64 January 2019 | mychild

• Fulfillment - Marriage just doesn’t look and feel the way one or both partners expected it to. In many cases, it is the change of dynamic once young children are on the scene that can feed these ideas of expectations not being met. When one parent feels the pressure of being the sole breadwinner while the other stays home with the daily stress of raising the kids and

RELATIONSHIP managing a household, it is easy for both partners to find it harder to empathise with where the other is coming from. Even with these signs of relationships under strain, it is important to accept that divorce can be expensive, both emotionally and financially (costing as much as wedding, potentially) and shouldn’t be a rushed decision based on a bad month or seasonal slump. The good news is, not all of these separation enquiries end in divorce, and once the saturated stress levels of the holidays simmer down, some stick it out. Perhaps we all need to accept a little low-point after the (unrealistic?) expectations of the festive season, and that every calendar year, as with every marriage, has boring patches, stressful periods and times of contentment. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, divorce rates in Australia are lower than they were twenty years ago. (This may be a result of couples choosing to cohabitate instead of tying the knot formally, but a positive trend nonetheless). Perhaps in future years, we could aim for an increase in romantic gestures, couple therapy, date nights and selflessness in the first month of the year, and coin the term ‘Prioritising marriage January’? Or perhaps someone has been sniffing a bit too much fairy dust… By Kylie Kaden Novelist Kylie Kaden is the mother of three spirited boys, and first to admit that despite having an honours degree in psychology, the wheels fall off at her place on a daily basis.

January 2019 | mychild

There's Always Something

By: Sheree Hoddinett 66 January 2019 | mychild

Here we are, staring down the barrel of another new year laid out before us. I swear they’re speeding up as I get older, well when it comes to me anyway. When it comes to my girls, it’s like someone hits the remote buttons, slow motion for all the tough stuff and fast forward through all the fun and good bits! If only pause worked, can you imagine how much you could get done?! Let’s see what this year brings. Maybe a bit more mayhem, drama and hopefully some fun thrown in. I’ve been a mum now for just over five years and I can say that I’ve learnt a lot in that time. In no way does that make me an expert, I’m still very much in the learning stages - I think I always will be. Just when I think I’ve got any kind of handle on things, life throws me another curveball and I’m back at square one. Some days I handle it really well and others, not so much. But I do know that my girls think the world of their mummy, no matter what. So, why is it I feel like I’m doing such a rough job? This is a topic I’ve written about before and one I still feel passionate about, good old mum guilt. As mums (and those standing in for the role), we feel this insane guilt if we go off and do something for ourselves, leaving our kids behind. It doesn’t help when they drop the bottom lip or give you the biggest, sweetest cuddle ever either. It hits you right in the heart. It’s like a built-in feeling you can’t shake off no matter what. Why? Is it a protection for your offspring thing? Is it because society tells you that’s what you must do? Or is it just one of those things? I don’t really know where it comes from or why. But it’s been hanging around since the day I became a mum and I have a feeling it’s not going anywhere. I never imagined I’d wind up on the path I have found myself on. You have a dream for the future and you can only hope things work out well. But it’s when they don’t, it certainly changes things. I’ve endured some tough things in the last couple of years and I feel I haven’t always been the best mummy to my girls over that time. But what amazes me is they don’t care what I’ve done and they certainly don’t hold grudges. They don’t hate mummy…well no that I know of anyway…they just continue to show their beautiful smiles, awesome cuddles and unconditional love for me. There are times I’m not so sure I deserve it, but I know that’s a decision that’s not up to me. I’m still debating whether that’s a good thing or not.

RELATIONSHIP Kids definitely are resilient creatures. Sure, they feel things just as much, if not worse than us as adults and aren’t always sure how to express themselves. But it depends on how they decide to deal with it. For me, watching my girls is sometimes like watching a movie. Some of the things they get up to can either be entertaining or downright infuriating. I often get told to “chill, relax or take it easy”, not usually by my children of course! If only it was that easy, flick a switch and it’s all good! I know I should try a bit harder and not lose it so easily, but that’s all part and parcel of the parenting gig, learning from our mistakes. And boy, have I made plenty of those! Although I think it’s safe to say my girls still haven’t dropped the notorious F-bomb on me in context yet. I think I have heard it said quietly but I still maintain I can’t be solely to blame on that one! When I find time, I add a few tales on my own website www.shereekim.com, so head on over and check it out some time. While I may not provide much in the way of wisdom, I hope you either get a laugh or feel a bit better about what’s happening in your own little world of parenting. Until next time… January 2019 | mychild

TOY REV 68 January 2019 | mychild

BY: SHEREE ECHLIN

VIEWS

TOY REVIEWS

January 2019 | mychild

TOY REVIEWS FUN TIMES FOLDABLE BACKPACK – UNICORNS OR DINOSAURS

$ 24.95 RRP

This handy backpack has a huge capacity of 12 litres, but folds down into its front pocket for easy storage. Perfect for travel and magical or roarsome adventures. There are lots of co-ordinating items available too. OUR VERDICT

4/5

Who doesn’t love a good, easily storable backpack?! Unicorns are definitely a big thing at the moment and they are everywhere! My girls love them. So I’m already seeing arguments over who gets to use the backpack. While dinosaurs are cool, it’s not quite the same as “pretty unicorns, Mummy”. These backpacks are super handy for travelling or just to pop a few things in for a short day trip and then when you’re done, they’re easy to put away and hardly take up any room! They’re also great for the kids to have some fun with. Available from: Independence Studios – www.isgift.com, SMARTPHONE KARAOKE 2.0 – MICROPHONE WITH EARBUDS

$ 14.99 RRP

Sing along to your favourite songs, capture it all on camera and then share the recording with your friends. Compatible with a range of karaoke and voice recording smart phone apps. There are a wide variety of apps available with a range of different features. Can also be used as a microphone for phone calls. It comes with a 1m cable and works with all smart phones with a 3.5mm audio jack. OUR VERDICT

5/5

A bit of harmless fun and if you fancy yourself a bit of a singer and like listening back to your tunes, this toy is perfect for you, I mean your kids, haha! This one is fun for everyone but try not to take it too seriously it won’t have you scoring record deals anytime soon! It’s easy to use and the best part? If you don’t like the sound of what you have recorded, it’s easily deleted! 70 January 2019 | mychild

Available from: Independence Studios – www.isgift.com Available from: Independence Studios – www.isgift.com, Kidstuff, Embellish Gifts, Buy My Things

LEAPFROG SHAPES & SHARING PICNIC BASKET

$ 34.99 RRP

The LeapFrog Shapes and Sharing Picnic Basket Set is a space for fun, learning and sharing. It helps little learners explore shapes, colours, manners and more. There are more than 30 audio responses encouraging pretend play and the 14-piece set helps children build motor skills as they sort, match, stack, empty and fill. You can switch easily between two modes: in Music Mode children can listen to fun learning songs and tunes, and in Learn Mode the picnic basket asks questions about their picnic. The basket also encourages your child to independently play by reminding them to push the song button, lift the basket lid, sort and match the pretend food and more. OUR VERDICT

4/5

Picnics are always good fun, especially the pretend ones! I’ve always been a big fan of the noisy, colourful toys because my girls have always loved the repetition and it’s great for learning. They love pretending with food and they’re always very generous, sharing it with mummy, aren’t I lucky?! This picnic basket is already proving popular with the buttons getting quite a workout. I’m sure we’ll be having lots of “picnics” from now on! Available from: Big W, Amazon.com.au VTECH KIDIZOOM DUO 5.0 $ 99.00 RRP CAMERA The VTech Kidizoom DUO Camera 5.0 allows kids to capture the day or themselves and their friends in this extremely robust and versatile camera. With so many features, it’s hard to say which is most impressive. Add fun distortion effects, stamps and frames, or use the auto-portrait feature to take photos automatically. You can also film movies, adding animations along the way. Record your voice and add funny effects to it! Other great features include 4x digital zoom, You and Me photo effects, 5 great games, Wacky Photo Shaker, photo editor and Silly Face Detector. All of this is easily seen on the large 2.4 inch colour screen. The camera has been built to be simple to operate and intuitive for kids to use. The outer case has been built to withstand the inevitable drops to the ground and is protected from normal bumps and drops. OUR VERDICT

5/5

My girls have a bit of a thing with both taking and looking at photos, especially of themselves! So I’m more than happy to handover something that’s versatile and anything that saves my phone! I’ve already heard the catchphrase “smile, mummy” quite a few times, but I can’t say the photos of me are looking the greatest! What I really like about this camera is it’s easy to use and it’s fun, with lots of effects to make your kids photos turn out just a little bit different. Plus, it’s definitely an added bonus that they can drop it (and it does happen quite often) and you don’t have to stress over it breaking easily. Now, back to teaching my little cherubs how to stand still, haha! Available from: Independence Studios – www.isgift.com January 2019 | mychild

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BOOK REVIEWS

BOOK REVIEWS JANUARY 2019

By: Amy Adeney

January 2019 | mychild 73 October 2018 | mychild

THE WOBBLY WAITRESS by: BY LISA STICKLEY Many of today’s children are frequent café visitors, and this book is sure to be a hit with café kids aged 3-6. The story takes place in the zoo café, which is of course staffed by a wide range of animals, including Mabel, the waitress giraffe. When Mabel gets the hiccups, all sorts of shenanigans ensue – Bolognese lands on a customer’s freshly polished shoes, strawberry sundae flies into a lady’s hair, and macaroni is scattered across the floor. Mabel’s friends think of ways to rid her of the wobbly hiccups, from loud music and ice skating to aerobics classes and rockets to the moon, until they finally work together to hatch the perfect plan. This is a humorous tale of friendship and cooperation with lively, colourful illustrations to match.

ANOTHER BOOK ABOUT BEARS BY LAURA & PHILIP BUNTING From the husband and wife team behind Koalas Eat Gum Leaves and Kookaburras Love to Laugh comes another fabulous book for 3-7 year olds. This is a hilarious conversation with a bear who is fed up with having to do whatever authors tell him to do in the many picture books written about bears, when all he wants is to be left alone to sleep. He suggests countless other animals to be the star of this book, from flying foxes and dodos to earthworms and anglerfish, but none are quite right for the job. Finally the author thinks of an ideal story which will keep the both bear and author happy.

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THE TALL MAN AND THE SMALL MOUSE by: MARA BERGMAN AND BIRGITTA SIF The tall man and the small mouse live side by side in the tall house on the hill. The tall man spends his days doing tall things, like picking apples and untangling swings. The small mouse spends his nights doing small things, such as finding pins and pegs and long-lost forks. But when the town clock is broken and the tall man cannot fix it alone, he turns to the small mouse to sneak inside and find the broken part. This is a sweetly illustrated story with lovely rhyming text, telling a tale of companionship and collaboration for readers aged 3-6.

THE LOST PROPERTY OFFICE BY EMILY RAND This is a wonderful story of precious items lost and found, for readers aged 2-6 who know the heartache of losing a special toy. The narrator is devastated when she leaves her favourite teddy on the train, on the way to visit her grandfather. The next morning she tells Grandpa of her wild dream, in which she saw all the things she had ever lost. Together they journey back to the train station lost property office, and explore the myriad of wondrous items lost by commuters, until they find the one special teddy they are searching. The illustrations feature bright, exciting colours that pop off the page, bringing to life this charming tale of the love shared by a grandfather and his granddaughter.

January 2019 | mychild

GET THE LOOK

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K: INTERIORS

January 2019 | mychild

KIDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ROOM 78 January 2019 | mychild

LUXO LARVIK SCANDINAVIAN STYLE KING SINGLE BED - SPACE GREY

$179.95 www.luxoliving.com.au

BLOOMINGVILLE MINI WOODEN STORAGE BOX ON WHEELS

$169.95 www.leoandbella.com.au

NAVY CRISPIN BEDSIDE TABLE

$249.00 wwwtempleandwebster.com.

January 2019 | mychild

OXLEY STRIPE OBLONG CUSHION

$19.95 ST KILDA QUILT COVER SET

www.pillowtalk.com.au

$79.00 www.pillowtalk.com.au

COASTLINE CUSHION POD COMPLETE TABLE LAMP

$39.95

$79.00

www.pillowtalk.com.au

www.templeandwebster.com.au

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SOFTER THAN SILK COTTON BAMBOO BLEND BLANKET

$79.00 www.pillowtalk.com.au

FLORAL PENDANT LIGHT

$429.00 www.lightingcollective.com.au

JELLYCAT BUMBLY BEAR

$39.95 www.sillymillymoo.com.au

January 2019 | mychild

BEAR & FOX KIDS WOODLAND ANIMAL PRINT

$165.00 www.finaltouchdecor.com.au

ELEPHANT WITH BIRD

$139.00 www.finaltouchdecor.com.au

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WORLD MAP ABSTRACT

$85.00 www.finaltouchdecor.com.au

INDIAN HEADDRESS 2

$85.00 www.finaltouchdecor.com.au

January 2019 | mychild

NURSERY ROOM 84 January 2019 | mychild

GULLIVER

$199.00 www.Ikea.com/au

KALLAX

$95.00 www.ikea.com/au

MARCELLA TASSEL TEXTURED CUSHION â&#x20AC;&#x201C; CLAY

$199.00 www.target.com.au

REPLICA EAMES ROCKER

$99.00 www.mattblatt.com.au

January 2019 | mychild

CALICO STOOL

MARRAKESH SHAG RUG

$199.00

$109.00

www.earlysettler.com.au

www.aurugs.com

HASTINGS OBLONG CUSHION

$217.00 www.pillowtalk.com.au

TROPIC

$44/m2 www.muralswallpaper.com/au

HOUSE & HOME PALM PRINT CUSHION

$10.00 www.Bigw.com.au

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TUB POT LARGE

$55.00 www.mattblatt.com.au

COUTURE FITTED SHEET IN LOTTIE www.tillyandotto.com.au

MAGENTA MARKS WALL ART

$217.00 www.greatbigcanvas.com

TALL ARTIFICIAL FIDDLE LEAF FIG 170CM

$150.00 www.zohainteriors.com.au

January 2019 | mychild

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SHOP:

KIDS

FASHION

January 2019 | mychild

BABY

UNDER

BOY STRETCHIES CHESTY

$ 9.95

CHEESECLOTH TAIL

$ 19.95

AUSSIE COTTON CREW TEE

$ 16.95

KIDS HIPSTER DENIM SHORT

$ 19.95

www.Bonds.com.au

FRESH TRACK TEE

$ 29.95

FRESH DIMEBACK HOODED MUSCLE

$ 34.95

UNDER

BIKER TRACKIE SHORT DUNGAREE

$ 64.95

INDIE TRACKIE SHORT

$ 49.95

www.industriekids.com.au

Logo Bodysuit VERSACE

$ 260.00

splurge

New Ace Crib Shoe GUCCI

$ 487.00

Dog T-Shirt BURBERRY

$ 178.00

Tristen Check Shorts BURBERRY

$ 192.00

New Ace Monogram Sneaker GUCCI www.nordstrom.com 90 January 2019 | mychild

$ 554.00

SHOP KIDS Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in our store this month

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January 2019 | mychild

FLAMENCA GIRL DRESS for $115.00 94 January 2019 | mychild

VIOLA GIRL SHIRT

for $79.00 January 2019 | mychild

PINIA GIRL PLAYSUIT

for $106.00

96 January 2019 | mychild

ATILIA BOY SHORTS

for $79.00

JAZMIN BOY SHIRT

for $79.00

DURCAL BOY CARDIGAN

for $83.00 January 2019 | mychild

CLAVEL BABY PLAYSUIT for $79.00 98 January 2019 | mychild

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Recipes JANUARY 2019

January 2019 | mychild

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Breakfast Pizza

DIRECTIONS • Add cream cheese, honey, vanilla and milk to a mixing bowl. Using a hand mixer or stand-up mixer, blend until smooth. • Spread onto naan bread and top with berries and chopped walnuts. • Note: Thawed frozen berries will work if fresh are not available.

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Serves: 4 Prep Time: 15 m INGREDIENTS • 1 cup cream cheese, low fat • 1/4 cup – honey • 1 teaspoon – vanilla extract • 1 tablespoon – milk • 4 large – naan • 1 cup – raspberries • 1 cup – blackberries • 1/2 cup – walnuts

break

Breakfast Casserole Serves: 10 Prep Time: 15 m Cook Time: 1 h INGREDIENTS • 1 medium – green capsicum • 1 medium –red capsicum • cup cheddar cheese • 2 cup – ham, chopped • 3 cups hash browns, frozen • 6 large – egg • 2 cup – egg white • 2 cup – milk • 1/2 teaspoon – salt

kfast

DIRECTIONS • Preheat oven to 180 degrees. Grease a 9x13-inch baking dish; set aside. • Dice capcicums, grate cheese, and chop ham. • Heat a nonstick skillet over medium. Add capsicum; cook for 3-4 minutes to soften. • Add to prepared baking dish and mix together with the hash browns, ham, and 1 cup of the cheese. • In mixing bowl whisk eggs and liquid egg whites. Add milk and salt, whisk together. • Pour egg mixture over veggies and ham. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. • Cover with foil and bake for 1 hour and 30 minutes; removing the foil 15 minutes before finishing.

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Chick-en Nuggets DIRECTIONS • Drain and rinse chickpeas; mash with a pastry blender or fork. Slice onion. • Place the onion, parsley, and garlic into a food processor and pulse until finely chopped and well blended. • In a small mixing bowl, whisk together the egg, cumin, salt, pepper, lemon juice, baking powder, and 1 tablespoon oil. • Add onion mixture and egg mixture to the beans; stir to combine. • Stir in bread crumbs little by little until dough is dry enough to shape easily; shape into nuggets. • Heat remaining oil in a large skillet. Cook nuggets until heated through and golden brown on both sides, adding more oil as needed. • While nuggets cook, heat edamame according to package instructions, and slice apples. • Serve immediately

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Serves: 4 servings Prep Time: 10 m Cook Time: 10 m INGREDIENTS • 2 cups– chickpeas, canned • 1/2 medium – onion • 1/4 cup – parsley, fresh • 1 clove – garlic • 1 large – egg • 1 teaspoon – cumin, ground • 1 teaspoon – salt • 1/8 teaspoon – black pepper, ground • 1 teaspoon – lemon juice • 1 teaspoon – baking powder • 2 tablespoon – olive oil • 1 cup – bread crumbs, plainOlive oil cooking spray

lun

Slow Cooker Chicken Vegetable Stew Serves: 4 Serving Size = 1.5 cups Prep Time: 15 m Cook Time: 8 h INGREDIENTS • 1 medium – onion • 1 medium – carrot • 1 stalk – celery • 1 medium – sweet potato • 1 medium – russet potato • 2 breast – chicken breast • 4 cup, chopped – kale • 4 clove – garlic • 1 teaspoon – Italian Seasoning • 1 can – diced tomatoes, canned • 2 cup – pumpkin • 4 cup – chicken broth, low-sodium • 1/2 teaspoon – sea salt • 1/8 teaspoon – black pepper, ground

• Directions • Chop onion, carrot, and celery. Peel and dice potatoes and pumpkin. Cut chicken into bite-sized cubes. Add to the slow cooker along with the remaining ingredients; stir well. • Cook on low for 8 hours.

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Teriyaki Turkey Burger DIRECTIONS • Finely dice the water chestnuts. Toss into a mixing bowl with egg, teriyaki sauce, breadcrumbs, onion powder, salt and ground turkey. Mix together and then shape into 4 burger patties. • Preheat and indoor grill or if the weather permits, use the outdoor grill. Cook each burger for 6-8 minutes per side, or until no longer pink in the center. • While burgers cook pull off 4 large leaves for the burgers and set aside. Chop the remaining lettuce and put into a bowl with the dressing and croutons. Toss together to fully coat. • Serve burgers on buns topped with sliced tomatoes, lettuce leaves and condiments of choice.

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Serves: 4 Serving Size = 1 burger Prep Time: 10 m Cook Time: 15 m INGREDIENTS • 1/4 CUP – WATER CHESTNUTS • 1 LARGE – EGG • 1 TABLESPOON – TERIYAKI SAUCE, REDUCED SODIUM • 1/2 CUP – BREAD CRUMBS, PLAIN • 1/2 TEASPOON – ONION POWDER • 1/4 TEASPOON – SALT • 500 GRMS TURKEY MINCE SERVE WITH: • 1 MEDIUM – TOMATO, RED • 4 LEAF OUTER – LETTUCE, GREEN LEAF • BURGER BUNS

din

Fried Rice DIRECTIONS • Finely dice the water chestnuts. Toss into a mixing bowl with egg, teriyaki sauce, breadcrumbs, onion powder, salt and ground turkey. Mix together and then shape into 4 burger patties. • Preheat and indoor grill or if the weather permits, use the outdoor grill. Cook each burger for 6-8 minutes per side, or until no longer pink in the center. • While burgers cook pull off 4 large leaves for the burgers and set aside. Chop the remaining lettuce and put into a bowl with the dressing and croutons. Toss together to fully coat. • Serve burgers on buns topped with sliced tomatoes, lettuce leaves and condiments of choice.

nner

• SERVES: 4 • SERVING SIZE = 1 CUP • PREP TIME: 15 M • COOK TIME: 45 M INGREDIENTS • 1 CUP – BROWN RICE, RAW • 1 MEDIUM – ZUCCHINI • 1 MEDIUM – SQUASH, SUMMER • 1 MEDIUM – BELL PEPPER, RED • 1 CLOVE – GARLIC • 1 CUP – ROTISSERIE CHICKEN • 1 TABLESPOON – OLIVE OIL • 2 LARGE – EGG • 1/4 TEASPOON – ONION POWDER • 1/4 TEASPOON – SALT • 1/8  TEASPOON – BLACK PEPPER, GROUND • 2 TABLESPOON – SOY SAUCE, LOW SODIUM

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Tropical Ice Cream Treat DIRECTIONS • Add all the ingredients to a high-powered blender; blend to a smooth, ice cream consistency. • This can be served immediately after blending if desired or freeze to be served later.

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• Serves: 4 • Prep Time: 10 m Ingredients • 4 cups – frozen fruit, tropical mix • 1 1/2 cup – milk

dess

Creamy Lime Popsicles DIRECTIONS • Zest and juice lime; chop pineapple. • Puree all ingredients in a high-powered blender until completely smooth. • Pour into your favourite popsicle mould and freeze 3-4 hours or until completely solid.

• SERVES: 6 SERVINGS • PREP TIME: 4 H INGREDIENTS • 1 MEDIUM – LIME • 1 1/2 CUP – PINEAPPLE • 1/2 MEDIUM – BANANA • 3/4 CUP – COCONUT MILK • 1 CUP – SPINACH

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MYCHILD DIRECTORY

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