My Child Magazine September 2015 Issue by My Child Magazine

AUSTRALIA’S BEST PREGNANCY, BABY & PARENTING MAGAZINE ISSUE 48

* SEPTEMBER 2015

Fathers Day Special

DAD MYTHS

BUSTED!

10 TIPS For New Dads

Know your pain relief optione

What is A DOULA ? Bonding secrets for dads Cord Blood banking explained

SPRING FASHION LAUNCH // EXCELLENCE AWARDS REGISTRATION *

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Editor’s column From time immemorial, fatherhood has been a hallmark of a vibrant society, a vital role in the growth and development of the family. If anyone tells you that being a father isn’t as important as what mothers bring to the parenting table, don’t believe them. That is nonsense. Fathers come in all shapes and sizes. If you were fortunate to have a dad who took the time to play catch with you or take you fishing, that was a major blessing. As we grow older, most of us began to understand and respect our dads for instilling in us a work ethic, a sense of

SAM REES-JONES

stability and an appreciation of the strength that he brought to the family structure. If you are fortunate enough to have a dad who took the time to counsel, play and support you through the good times and the bad, you indeed have a dad who deserves to be honored on this special day. To all the fathers and father-figures, Happy Father’s Day. Thank you for bringing stability and a special strong love to our lives. So on this one day, let’s tell Dad we are grateful and that we were paying attention to the lessons they’ve been trying to teach us.

Sam

Our stunning Fathers Day cover was photographed by Carrie. http://www.capturedbycarrie.com/

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contents 78

102

COVER

TRUE LIFE:

60 Dad Myths Busted 56 10 Top Tips for New dads 38 What is a Doula 48 Bonding secrets for dads 44 Know your pain relief options 10 Excellence awards registration 78 Spring Fashion Launch

24 What my Daughters Taught me Josef Wakim is left to raise three daughters on his own 32 All Children are smart

BIRTH 34 38 44

Cord bank banking What is a Doula? Kelly Winder explains Why Pregnant Women Love Doulas! What a Pain! Information on pain options

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BABY 48 52 56 60

How dads bond Father of two John Lewis counts down through the major pregnancy milestones that affect dads How to create a safe sleeping environment for your baby 10 Tips for new fathers There are ten things to keep in mind that will help you, your new baby, and your marriage! Dad Myth Busters

66 Teething Milestones How to be prepared for baby’s teething Journey

IDEAS

BIG KIDS

8 Editor’s picks 10 Best in Websites 14 Bits & bobs 72 Fathers Day Gift Guide 78 Sugar and Spice Spring Fashion 88 Lock it in, from the inventors of Ubbi Bin 93 What we Love…the New Difrax Breast Pump 95 5 ways to survive pregnancy during summer

98 Why kids need to read Louise Park tells us Why Fiction Plays a Critical Role in Fostering Wellbeing, Resilience and Empathy in Children 102 Your Childs First mobile phone plane How to make it work without taking over!

TODDLER

FASHION

Kindergarten readiness

They may be able to do some basic reading and writing, but kindergarten is about much more than academics.

HEALTH 106 Wake up with a Kiwi

Sugar and Spice Spring Fashion

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PUBLISHER & EDITOR SAM REES-JONES ART DIRECTOR & STYLIST MORGAN ZELL ONLINE EDITOR JORDAN VON HAGAN NEWSLETTER EDITOR & WRITER JORDAN VON HAGEN WRITERS & SUB-EDITORS

JESSICA RILEY, GEORGIA WARD, THE EXPERT EDITOR

EDITORIAL ENQUIRIES editorial@mychildmagazine.com.au CONTRIBUTERS KELLY WINDER JOSEPH WAKIM LUKE DENHAM JOHN LEWIS LOUISE PARK ADRIENNE BURGESS STOCK PHOTOGRAPHY iStock ADVERTISING DIRECTOR SAM REES-JONES m 0426 790 398 e sam@mychildmagazine.com.au

CONTACT 61 2 9446 1614 mychildmagazine.com.au

MY CHILD IS PRODUCED & PUBLISHED BY LITTLE BLUE DOG ABN 611 996 81 521

My Child magazine and mychildmagazine.com.au are wholly owned by Little Blue Dog (ABN 611 996 81 521). No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in the company or in My Child or mychildmagazine.com.au. My Child contains general information only and does not purport to be a substitute for health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. Reproduction of any material without written permission by the publisher is strictly forbidden. We cannot accept responsibility for material lost or damaged in the post or for any unsolicited manuscripts and photographs. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.

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s m u b g n i sav saving babies

ipes BUY Red Nose Baby WORE & HELP US SAVE M BABIESâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; LIVES

Available at: IGA, SUPA IGA, BIG W & TARGET or buy online at aussiewipes.com.au & check out our great promotions! Selected IGA & Super IGA Stores only. Selected range available in Big W. september 2015 | mychild

IDEAS

EDITOR’S PICKS ALL KINDS OF PRODUCTS CROSS SAM’S DESK EACH DAY. HERE ARE A FEW OF HER FAVOURITES

How on trend is this vintageinspired pastel crochet rug by Danish kids’ interiors brand Sebra? It’s yours for £95 at nubie.co.uk. Sydney-based designers Micky & Stevie have the coolest stuff for children, including this soft toy monkey $29.95. See mickyandstevie. com.au. Carry everything for bub in this stylish and functional SOFO bag from Scanbrand.. Available at scanbrands.com.au, it accommodates all the bits and bobs you need in a nappy bag. Ever-so-flattering, Mothers En Vogue’s Wrap Sleeveless Dress $99, can be dressed up or down for growing bellies. See mothersenvogue. com. I would’ve just loved this unicorn on my room as a little girl! Check out whimsy.com.au. Ever since I discovered online store Little Pie Street there’s no turning back! This Lulu knitted art toy, $159.95, by Lucky Boy Sunday is precious. See littlepiestreet.com.au.

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Sleep with greater peace of mind

VALUE PACK

BS2SC850

The next level of care. You’ve been asking for it, now it’s here. BabysenseTM2 Infant Respiratory Monitor continually monitors the breathing movement rate of your baby, while the 4.3" Secure850 Digital Video/Audio Baby Monitor places you virtually in the nursery. Oricom’s wide range of baby monitors are available from leading baby stores. Visit www.oricom.com.au to find your nearest stockist.

Connecting you now.

Babysense2 is intended for use as an Infant Apnoea Alarm. ALWAYS READ THE LABEL AND USER GUIDE, USE ONLY AS DIRECTED. september 2015 | mychild

MY CHILD PROMOTION

~ 2016 ~ Excellence Awards 2012

EXCELLENCE AWARDS

CALLING ALL BUSINESSES! REGISTER NOW TO BE IN THE RUNNING

We are excited to announce that we are calling for entries for our My Child Excellence Awards 2016. Now in their fifth year, these reader-voted awards recognise market-leading products, fashion labels and stores in the pregnancy, baby and children’s categories. Celebrating Australian and New Zealand businesses, they offer a fantastic opportunity for companies – no matter whether big brands or small businesses – to showcase their achievements. VOTING Readers will be offered the opportunity to vote on the entries by way of a “Shopping Guide” that will run in the March 2016 issue of My Child. The shopping guide will also be promoted via the My Child site, newsletters and social media pages. WINNERS Gold, Silver and Bronze winners for each category, along with the overall winner, will be decided by the highest number of votes and will be announced in My Child’s June 2015 issue. Winners will also receive an awards badge and the right to display this on their marketing material.

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ELIGIBILITY For companies to be eligible to enter, their products must be available in Australia and/ or New Zealand at September 23 2015 and for the duration of the Awards. Please note that only manufacturers and distributors may register products – not retailers.

Categories OUT & ABOUT Favourite Pram Favourite Stroller Favourite Baby Carrier Favourite Portable Chair/Booster Seat Favourite Baby Travel Product Favourite Baby Travel Cot Favourite Children’s Travel Product NURSERY Favourite Cot Favourite Change Table BREASTFEEDING Favourite Breast Pump Favourite Breastfeeding Product FEEDING Favourite Highchair Favourite Baby Bottle Favourite Baby Feeding Product Favourite Baby Feeding Utensil Favourite Baby Cup Favourite Baby Food Storage Product BABY CARE Favourite Teething Product Favourite Baby Haircare Product Favourite Baby Skincare Product Favourite Baby Bath Wash

Favourite Baby Bath Product Favourite Baby Wipes Favourite Nappy Brand Favourite Nappy Rash Product Favourite Toilet-Training Product Favourite Baby Safety Product Favourite Health Product Favourite Baby Thermometer Favourite Baby Care Product SLEEP Favourite Swaddle/Wrap Favourite Sleeping Bag Favourite Baby Sleep Aid MUMS Favourite Nappy Bag Favourite Mum’s Product TOYS Favourite Baby Toy (0-18 months) Favourite Children’s Toy (18-36 months) Favourite Educational Product FASHION Favourite Baby Fashion Label Favourite Children’s Fashion Label ONLINE STORES Favourite Fashion Online Store

TO ENTER Entries must be registered by means of the online entry form available on the My Child site at mychildmagazine.com.au. Simply click on the My Child Excellence Awards banner on the home page and then follow the instructions. Registration costs $40 for each individual entry and must be paid by Paypal at registration. Registration closes at midnight AEST on Friday December 19 2015

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IDEAS

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PRODUCT

OF THE MONTH

POTTY TIME

The Smart Potty is ergonomically designed with soft lines to provide your child with maximum comfort. The smooth, rounded edges of the potty and inner potty wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pinch the skin. There is plenty of room for the legs, making it easier to sit down and stand up. The rubber edging along the base ensures that the potty rests firmly on the floor without sliding about. $39.95 buy from here september 2015 | mychild

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IDEAS

BITS&BOBS

BEST BOOKS Your Baby’s First Word Will Be DADA Everyone knows that fathers wage a secret campaign to ensure that their babies’ first word is “Dada!”. $9.99 Kiss, Kiss, Pout-Pout Fish A short and sweet miniadventure especially created to introduce the youngest guppies to the popular PoutPout Fish. Swim along with Mr. Fish as he shows his friends just how much he loves them. $5.99 My Big Train Book From high-speed trains to steam trains, passenger trains to freight trains, My Big Train Book is packed with photographs of all different kinds of trains from over the world to delight and captivate young readers. $6.00 Baby Says “Moo!” Ride along with Baby and family from the busy, dizzy city to the quiet countryside as Baby learns all about animal sounds in this padded board book, just right for the youngest reader.

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loves For thrills not spills...As your baby’s drinking skills improve you can remove the handles so they can hold the cup directly, and the non- spill valve can be easily removed to enable free flow drinking, which can help their oral development. Up until this point they’ve been used to breast or bottle, so introducing a cup is an important step in their weaning journey.To help the transition go smoothly, this cup features a super soft spout that is gentle on gums, and large handles that are easy to grip. From Closer to Nature

NO MORE RAZOR RASH GAIA made for men shave gel is a non-aerosol to ensure no butane or propane or other known irritant chemicals are used, making it suitable for sensitive skin. Organic wheat germ and avocado oils to provide ‘slip’ making it easier for your razor to glide over your skin and anti-irritant organic aloe extract soothes, smooths and moisturises.

FROM HEARTBREAK TO HOPE The dilemma of diagnosing asthma in under 5s Diagnosis of asthma in very young children is fraught with difficulty, which often leaves parents frustrated and frightened. During National Asthma Week (1st-7th September) Asthma Australia’s You Care We Care campaign is raising awareness of the impact asthma has on families, parents and carers as well as people with asthma. The national asthma charity has created an e-book by collecting the stories of parents, carers and young people across Australia. The stories range from heartbreaking to hopeful and highlight the need for education and support for parents and carers. Prof Jaffé says that the treatment for wheezing is the same irrespective of whether a child’s condition has been labelled as asthma or as a viral induced or multi-trigger wheeze. “We need to find a way to better educate parents

and reassure them that their child’s care is not affected whether or not they get a diagnosis of asthma.” “Many children under 5 grow out of wheezing. We don’t want children to end up taking daily preventer medications, such as steroids or fixeddose combination medicines, if they don’t need them.” Asthma Australia provides support and information for parents and children, CEO Mark Brooke said: “Asthma Australia runs workshops and ‘ask an expert sessions’ for parents and carers. We’ve also developed our Asthma Kids website (asthmakids. org.au) for children with asthma to learn about their condition, and we are working on a special area for parents on our new website.” Parents can also get advice and support through the national asthma helpline on 1800 ASTHMA (1800 278 462).

S-Bottle

The ideal bottle to reduce stomach cramps

Advantages • The S-shape provides an ergonomic, natural and relaxed feeding position and encourages bonding between the nursing parent and child. • The valve prevents vacuum suction of the bottle teat and allows a constant flow of nutrition. This reduces the chance of burping, colic, cramps and vomiting. • The removable base of the S-bottle makes it easy to clean and enables it to be filled with ice cubes of frozen breast milk.

Air milk

S-bottle

Breastfeeding

Normal Bottle

Distributed by Exquira www.exquira.com.au www.difrax.com.au

• S-bottle can be used with breastpump of other brands. september 2015 | mychild 15

IDEAS

My favourites ELLEN DIAMANT, CHIEF CREATIVE OFFICER AND COFOUNDER AT SKIP HOP, SHARES HER MOST TREASURED PRODUCTS.

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I can’t live without Kiehl’s Silk Groom Serum, which is basically magic in a bottle. It tames my hair without weighing it down and gives me a quick polished look when I’m in a rush. www.kiehls.com Isabel Marant Dicker Ankle Boots have a fashion edge but they’re still comfy. I pair them with a dress in the summer or jeans in the winter, and they look just as great either way. I never want to take them off! www.isabelmarant.com Baguu shopping bags are great for trips to the grocery store, or for tossing in my suitcase while traveling. They don’t take up much space and they’re my favorite way to tote back goodies when I’m visiting our retailers around the world. www.baguu.com I try not to play favorites with our Skip Hop Zoo characters, but I admit that I’m partial to our two newest animals, Unicorn & Cow. They’re both so fresh and current. www.skiphop.com I always carry a Moleskine Classic Notebook. It’s perfect for jotting down thoughts or sketching out a product idea, whether I’m on the subway or on a plane. You never know when inspiration will strike! www.moleskine.com

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THIS PAGE: Unicorn and Cow Zoopacks and Lunchies from Skip Hop

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IDEAS

Fun and fabulous sunnies 18

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Eye Spy IT’S HABIT TO SLATHER KIDS IN SUNSCREEN AND POP ON OUR HATS BEFORE THEY GO OUT IN THE SUN. BUT DO YOUR KIDS WEAR SUNGLASSES? IN FACT, WEARING SUNGLASSES AS A YOUNGSTER CAN HELP PROTECT AGAINST THE MOST COMMON EYE CONDITIONS THAT DEVELOP LATER IN LIFE.

un protection during childhood is critical, as damage from UV radiation is cumulative and overexposure to sunlight, can result in chronic skin and ocular damage. The most effective way to protect children’s eyes from harmful UV rays, is to make sure they are always wearing sunglasses that comply with the Australian standards AS/NZS: 1067. After 5 years as Category Manager at Oakley South Pacific and 3 years as Senior Eyewear Brand Manager for the Cancer Council Australia Bec Bennett a mother of two little girls, decided to launch her own brand and aimed at little eyes.

In 2008 Eyetribe was launched. We caught up with Bec and asked her about the journey.

WHAT IS YOUR ROLE IN THE BUSINESS? As Managing Director of EYETRIBE, I am the designer, the marketer, the manager, the courier…but definitely not the sales person! I have a wonderful distribution company (Bloom & Grow) that now manages this area of the business for me. Being creative has its limitations, so I find bringing in experts to assist in areas of weakness has been the right strategy for my business.

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Bec with Minnie and Jemima WHAT WAS THE INSPIRATION BEHIND THE BUSINESS? I wanted to design high quality eyewear specifically for kids. I had spent many years at Oakley Eyewear and designed sun ranges for Polaroid, The Cancer Council and other fashion brands. I realised along the way that no one was paying serious attention to the little peepers. I wanted to mix things up a bit and introduce materials and features to kids’ eyewear that had not been considered by leading brands. I also believed that in the Australian market, with the highest eye protection standards in the world, we had the opportunity to step things up a bit and set new global standards in kids eyewear design.

WHAT PRODUCTS DO YOU OFFER? Kids sunglasses. Our brands include ‘Frankie Ray’, a kids’ fashion eyewear collection, Squids & Mini Squids, a high flex active range for kids and bubs and more recently I have launched a women’s range of sustainable bamboo and cork

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sunglasses called ‘Sticks & Sparrow’.

CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE TEAM? My tribe is essentially just me but I receive incredible support from my inherited team of sales people, my incredible PR & Marketing agency (Sugar & Spice PR) and my husband who has the honorary position of Warehouse Manager… after-hours!

HOW DO YOU SHARE THE RESPONSIBILITIES BETWEEN YOU? My job is essentially to design and develop great product and build strong brands to allow the sales team and my marketing agency to do the best job that they can.

WHAT HAS BEEN THE MOST CHALLENGING ASPECT OF SETTING UP THE BUSINESS? Finding the right people to bring into my tribe. However finding them has also been the most rewarding. There are also endless challenges

associated with off-shore manufacturing and production. I won’t even begin to elaborate on this ‘challenging’ area!

IS THERE ANY ADVICE YOU WISH YOU’D BEEN GIVEN? Probably not as I may never have started! I think that so long as you do your research and know your industry (well!), part of the experience of starting your own business is to learn as you go…and to pick yourself up after the stumbles. Just make sure you have the right people around to catch you when you trip up!

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT THE BUSINESS? The opportunity to create product and build brands that are truly reflective of our Australian lifestyle and then to proudly showcase them around the world. That’s a buzz!

HOW IS YOUR BUSINESS DIFFERENT TO OTHER SIMILAR BUSINESSES? I’m not sure that my business is that different to a lot of other small businesses that are selfmanaged by busy mums? I feel very lucky that my business allows me to do what I love, to travel and to be constantly stimulated, which in turn makes me a better mum and person. Over the past 7 years I have seen many small businesses fold and prove unsustainable due to changing market conditions. Whilst I don’t have all the answers, I do believe that it is important to continually evolve and innovate. I like to keep an eye on my competition, but am more committed to building strong brands that stand alone. I am passionate about discovering new ways to improve and illuminate my products and would like to think that I have an optimistic outlook. Focusing on kids and sunshine keeps me pretty happy!

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WHAT GIVES YOUR PRODUCT THE EDGE? I think my eye for detail and my global approach always pushes me to discover new design methods and to package and present our products in imaginative ways. Sun protection for the eyes during childhood is critical, as eye damage from UV radiation is cumulative. Our Mini Squids (0-2yrs) and Squids (3yrs +) ranges are designed to provide maximum outdoor protection and are jam packed with features such as a light weight, high flex frame, shatterproof 100% UV protective lenses and a close fitting wrap design for maximum comfort and wearability. We have built in FUNctional features such as soft EVA foam inserts and rounded temple tips to keep the frames soft and comfortable for little people. Mini Squids also include a removable headstrap for bubs so are perfect for pram wearing and park play. The larger Squids are designed to be ‘kid tuff’ and worn during active outdoor play. The frames also float in water and feature a hydrophobic lens coating to repel water so are ideal for waterplay and watersports, where reflective UV glare is at its most damaging. Our Frankie Ray collection incorporates the same 100%UV protective shatterproof lenses with a variety of designer inspired frames. We add a combination of colour, prints and patterns to classic and contemporary frames to inject a fun fashion flavor into our babies and kids’ sunglasses. Our goal is for parents to approve of us because of our quality and protection and kids to just love wearing us.

the only calming device that delivers soothing white noise directly to baby, at the safe 75 decibel level as recommended by The Children Hearing Institute in New York. Another innovative safer sleep product from the makers of the

Ideal for: breastfeeding, parent and child bonding, reducing parental and child anxiety and relaxing baby by mimicking familiar sounds experienced in the womb

scan to find out more 22

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www.gro.co.uk

WHY SHOULD PEOPLE SHOP WITH YOU? I think we offer great value for a fair price. We really care about promoting eye heath and have a lot of industry experience behind our

merchandising and a positive retail experience for our products as most customers like to try before they buy. We also have a strong web presence and are committed to embracing social media in a bigger way this season! On an industry level, we attend the major kids and lifestyle fairs and events and are in the company of great brands at Bloom & Grow, brands. We vigilantly comply with the

which gives us great market exposure.

Australian Eye Protection Standards (AS/NZS suppliers. We also make an effort to make

WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE FUTURE OF THE BUSINESS?

kids’ look and feel good. They just don’t know

To continue to build and grow and to explore

we are doing them good too!

new markets around the world. The export

1067;2003) and work with leading industry

opportunities really excite us.

HOW DO YOU MARKET THE BUSINESS? We rely on our 250+ retail stockists to do a lot that allow our retailers to have our product

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE MY CHILD READERS TO KNOW?

looking its best in-store.

They can find all our products at www.eyetribe.

of our marketing for us. We invest in displays

We understand the importance of good

com.au *

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TRUE LIFE

JOSEPH AND NADIA WITH GRACE, MICHELLE AND JOY 24

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What my daughters taught me NO TEA LEAVES COULD HAVE PREDICTED THAT JOSEPH WAKIM WOULD RAISE HIS DAUGHTERS ALONE. A HAPPILY MARRIED MAN KISSED HIS BELOVED’S FACE, HANDS AND FEET AS BREAST CANCER CLAIMED HER LAST BREATH. HE WAS SUDDENLY LEFT ALONE TO LOOK AFTER 4, 7 AND 11 YEAR OLD DAUGHTERS.

nce upon a time I lived in my hometown of Melbourne with my young family: my beautiful wife Nadia and our three little girls, Grace, Michelle and Joy. Ours was a house of music, dancing and laughter. And, as Lebanese Christians of the Maronite Church, ours was a house of faith. I was the hardworking king of the Dad-pun, and Nadia the ever-calm domestic queen. After all, we were ‘crowned’ during our marriage ceremony to have authority over our miniheavenly kingdom of home and family. After a career in psychology and social work, I was completing a Master of Business degree in the hope of becoming a better breadwinner. Nadia, a graphic designer, was studying to become a teacher and she taught at the Arabic Saturday school. We were both changing

professions and pursuing our dreams. We loved and were loved. We were happy. We dreamed of travelling together, making music together, even having more children. But Nadia’s worst fear found its way into her bosom. She privately applied positive thinking that the small lump was normal during breast-feeding. In our culture, the C-word was unmentionable. It was as if by merely evoking the name cancer, we were stepping on the tail of this sleeping monster. By the time Nadia was diagnosed with this ‘death sentence’, it had reached her womb and our dreams crumbled. We clung to what we had and who we had like a life-boat in a stormy sea. My arms became my children’s life jacket. From singing and dancing on our timber

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floors, our children learned to whisper and tip-toe as mummy’s medication meant that she needed silence. From going to mummy for their everyday wants and needs, I ushered them to my bosom, turning on the valves in my heart to make up for their mother’s heart that slowly stopped beating.

“Was I too paranoid, too protective or too private to take ‘driving lessons’ from experienced mothers?” It was suddnely time to progress as a parent from an L-plater to a P-plater, but without an experienced driver by my side. I pretended to know exactly what I was doing. As I rushed the children to school (and myself to work) every morning, Grace and Michelle quickly learnt to be self-sufficient. I only helped them with their school ties, but like most men I could only do this while standing behind them as if it were around my own neck, not while facing them. Little Joy needed more help. Grace taught me how to tie Joy’s hair in a ponytail and secure it with a hair tie. It took me a while to realise that this morning routine was faster if I put the elastic around my wrist in preparation, rather than trying to reach for it with one hand while holding Joy’s hair in place with the other. To my surprise and relief, this did not cut off my circulation and my hand did not turn purple as my mother had once warned. In time, I also learnt that the ponytail looked smarter if I tied it high on her crown; too low and it seemed to sag with gravity as the day progressed. This was not information I could glean from textbooks. It was more like rock climbing up a cliff face on the Discovery channel—there was no time to look down and I was scared of

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heights. ‘Dad!’ echoed Joy from the valley below. ‘It’s not straight!’ I pulled on her ponytail as if it was my climbing rope. ‘Ouch!’ she cried. ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Straightening it?’ I guessed. I stood behind her, with my head above hers, and looked into the bathroom mirror—which she was too short to look into without standing on tiptoe. Sure enough, this morning’s ponytail was slightly off-centre. Rather than redo the entire routine from scratch, I tried to wriggle it to the middle by fiddling with the hair tie. ‘Ouch! You’re hurting me!’ Joy reached back, undid the ponytail and handed me the hair tie to start again. I tried to defuse her mood and cover my confusion by neighing and imitating a flustered horse, having trouble with a ponytail, see? But she was in no mood to laugh. How was I supposed to know that you cannot drag a ponytail like a desktop icon without torturing the child? The solution was staring at me: the water taps. I remembered that Grace and Michelle usually splashed some water on their hair when they were tying it into ponytails or plaits. Water was the gel that gave the hair a defined shape. So that’s why Joy’s silky blonde curls always ended up making a golden halo! But I didn’t quite get the water thing. I pumped some liquid soap into one hand and added some cold running water, then tried to turn it into a game. ‘Have you washed your face, Zuzu?’ No answer meant no, so I gave her a face scrub, also splashing some water on her hair. ‘Aagh! It’s cold!’ she shuddered. I tempered the water to warm. ‘The cold was to make sure you’re awake!’ I explained, pretending it was deliberate. Then I asked her to blow her nose into my hand, cupping her mucus so it would not squirt all over the washbasin, just like my mother used to do

ALL GROWN UP: JOSEPH WITH GRACE, MICHELLE AND JOY with each of us, lovingly, each morning. She used to say it would unblock our ears so that we would be able to hear the teacher. Now Joy would hear the teacher too. ‘Yum! Organic hair gel,’ I mused. ‘Eeuw!’ she protested, grossed out. ‘Don’t you dare!’ I washed it away with another dollop of liquid soap and now made sure that the sleep was removed from her eyes. ‘Aah, Dad!’ she cried, pushing my hand away. ‘It stings!’ But the more I added warm water, the more the soap bubbled up around her long eyelashes. She squinted in irritation and I kept splashing and rubbing in frustration. Her eyes tightened, her mouth opened and her cries for help echoed throughout our home. Maternal Grace came charging in. ‘What’s wrong?’ ‘Oh, just some soap in her eyes,’ I shrugged. ‘Haram (poor thing). Use the towel, Dad!’

Despite the tears and drama, in the end the soapy water did give Joy’s hair a crisper contour and removed the halo. On special occasions, I graduated to plaits and braids, but only once I’d qualified for my hairdressing P-plates. When we shopped together next, Joy and I looked for blue hair ties to match her eyes and her uniform. On weekends, we used her fancier selection, which included ties decorated with butterflies. When Joy’s long hair became knotted, I knew it was time to untangle it with a nice hard brush. I ran a warm bath and added some bubbles, hoping to make it a pleasurable rather than painful experience. ‘Turn around, Zuzu, and close your eyes,’ I instructed. ‘First, we crack the eggs!’ I squeezed some shampoo onto her head and lathered it into her scalp with both hands. ‘Second, the waterfall.’ I poured bucket after bucket of water over her head (warm this time) to wash away the soap.

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28 | september 2015 * mychildAND JOSEPH HIS GIRLS ON A TRIP TO MELBOURNE

Then I held her head up with my left hand and brushed her hair down with my right hand. I had expected the shampoo to make the brushing easy, but if anything the knots seemed worse. The only solution, then, was to apply force. But the firmer I held her head, the more she screamed. I gritted my teeth and brushed harder and faster, all the way down, so that her pain—and mine—would be brief. ‘Ouch, Dad!’ she cried. ‘You’re killing me!’ I added more shampoo and rinsed thoroughly but it made no difference. At this point, Michelle rushed in and gasped, ‘Grace, have a look at this!’ As Joy heard her rescuers arrive, her cries became hysterical. ‘Stop, Dad!’ Grace exclaimed. ‘Can’t you see the red lines down her back?’ I lifted her hair and indeed there were scratches on her back from my vigorous brushing. Luckily, her skin was not bleeding, or I could have been arrested! Maybe our neighbours had heard her screams and already called the police. That’s all I needed in my situation! ‘But I used heaps of shampoo to make it smooth!’ I pleaded innocently, shaking the now nearly empty bottle. ‘No! You need conditioner to make it smooth!’ How was I supposed to know this silkysmooth secret? From that day on, Joy’s hair would forever be an effortless pleasure to brush. Whenever I washed it, I cracked emu eggs of conditioner on her head. Was I too paranoid, too protective or too private to take ‘driving lessons’ from experienced mothers? I could have asked my extended family or many others in the mothers’ club who were always obliging. But at the time, I did not want to give anyone any ammunition to gossip about my family. I would imagine them chattering as soon as I walked away, or hung up the phone . ‘Oh, Joe phoned me the other day. You

wouldn’t believe what he asked me. He said, “Sorry for the stupid question, but do I use shampoo or conditioner to remove tangles?” So cute, but those poor girls. How will they turn out with only a man to bring them up?’ . . . Blah, blah, blah.” Yes, I was probably too paranoid and too private, but I soon learnt not to underestimate the wisdom to be gleaned from the treasures under my own roof—my daughters. It took some time for me to progress from a P-plater, proving myself, to a B-plater, being myself. My car became a mini-bus for picking up and dropping off their friends. My daughters and I all resisted the offers for someone else to step in and ask me to step aside. They knew that a man suddenly hopping on one leg was going to fall and fail more often. But they were there to pick me up, with their silent smiles that spoke a thousand words. It was not me stepping up to the sacred stage of their mother, fearing failure. It was my daughters stepping up to the mother roles, trusting me with their lives, trusting that I had it deep and dormant within me to paddle our life boat to safety. I used to whisper bed-time stories in their ears to lull them (and myself!) to sleep. Now they whisper reassurances to me, or is that Nadia speaking through them? My inflated fears have been conquered by their piercing love. When my eldest two daughters were overseas, I asked my youngest child Joy why she missed them so much. ‘Because we are much more than sisters, Dad. We are best friends.’ This is an edited extract from WHAT MY DAUGHTERS TAUGHT ME by Joseph Wakim, published by Allen & Unwin, RRP $32.99, on sale now

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BLOGGER

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he Daddy Blogger WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THE MOMMY BLOGGER PHENOMENON, BUT WHAT ABOUT DADDY BLOGGERS? TOLD FROM DADDY’S PERSPECTIVE, THESE DADS SHARE WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE AWOKEN BY THEIR LOUD SCREAMING KIDS AT 6AM, FINDING THE RIGHT BARRETTE FOR THEIR DAUGHTERS’ HAIR AND CHASING AFTER TODDLERS AT THE BEACH.

WE SHARE LUKE DENHAM’S BLOG ON BEING A SINGLE DAD.

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All children are smart LUKE DENHAM COMES FROM A LARGE FAMILY AND GIVES A SOLO FATHER’S PERSPECTIVE ON BRING UP TWO CHILDREN.

decided to start my Blog, as I had been told by my younger sister Genevieve to do so. Not that she’s much stronger than I or that I’m scared of her – well, maybe just a little – but because she had a belief in my parenting style and basically gave me no choice. So, here I sit at my computer - you can be the judge on whether she’s an idiot or a genius. I don’t profess to be an expert but just a creature of experience. I come from a family of seven children – fifth in line – and have a close relationship with all of my siblings and both parents. In some ways we had an idyllic childhood, and yet in others - it was highly dysfunctional. Parenting has been a strong source of

“When we first bring our babies home from the hospital and after we’ve knocked over a couple of vases with the baby capsule, it sinks in” conversation in our family since, we - the children - became parents. Mind you there are a few experts hanging around in that bunch. I have two children. Anna is now aged 18, and now in her first year of Uni studying medicine. Jude, my son, has just turned 17 and looking good to start Law in 2016. They’re about 18 months apart, and I look after them 12 out of 14 days since my divorce 15 years ago. I live with my children as a tight little unit, and for the majority of that time I haven’t had a partner. They were 3 and 2 years old when we

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first started our new life together. In some ways I believe it’s easier parenting solo, but more on that later. This blog is not written just for single parents or fathers - but for all parents. My credentials – maybe that should be singular - are that I have an innate sense that has enabled me to see through many barriers that dislocate us from being good, sensible parents. There are also my children. They are a delightful pair and seem very calm, centred beings who excel academically and socially. I could go on forever about my darlings but then I remember that no one else is as interested in your children as much as you are – more on that later too. I can see a clear and simple path to being a sensible parent. I have made mistakes and I have had my own trials throughout our journey together. I’m not slow in coming forth with what I think works best and it is these comments that had my little sister shaking her head and looking at me with her mouth agape wondering whose brain I had stolen. I will give you a list of simple rules that I follow that you can try to implement yourselves. As parents we have only the template of our own parents and those we’ve managed to watch on TV or the movies. I mean all fathers want to be Atticus Finch don’t they? (And if you don’t know who he is I suggest you hang your head in shame for a moment). Parenting is the most important thing you’ll ever do and, worse luck, the thing we’re least qualified to do. There aren’t many courses at

University offering us a Bachelor of Parenting. When we first bring our babies home from the hospital and after we’ve knocked over a couple of vases with the baby capsule, it sinks in … “Uh oh,” you murmur through your heaving breath, eyes darting to the nearest exit, “you mean we’re in charge here?” Most of our attention is focused on the pregnancy and the birth. After that it’s almost like you’re on your own – which you are. Panic is a common reaction at this moment. Fortunately, our excitement often outweighs our fear and we manage to make do. A lot of things you didn’t realise you knew suddenly become second nature and before you know it, your son is a man and your daughter a woman, and like all good parents you’ve reverted to childhood again. “What gives me the right to tell you what to do?” you may ask. Well, good question. No one has the right to tell what to do with your children – within reason, of course - and I would loathe to be seen as someone preaching from the mount. It has little to do with what is right and wrong but rather what is best for our children. I’ve always believed from the outset that my children are their own entities – they are their own people, they have their own minds, they are they and not you. As a parent you have to realise that you’re the captain of the ship and that your children are part of the crew. Sure, you’re all working together but only you have the right to change course or drop anchor. Too many times have I seen a young Fletcher Christian taking the ship into dangerous waters and too many times have I heard “No. No. No. No. Yes.” WTF? Seriously, how is that ever going to help? As parents it’s our responsibility to make sure our children are well fed, well rested and content rather than irritable, confused, domineering and unpleasant company. It is not a blog for parents written by a parent. It is not a blog that covers the details of medical or psychological realms that people

have spent years studying. Rather, it is the product of my years of studying what has worked best with children. My blog deals with the arrival of my children, the toddler years (be prepared) and the school years. I’ve tried to cover every scenario I can think of. Parenting, like life, often works best when kept very simple. The more we complicate things the more likely our children - and us - are to become confused. It is important that our children have manners and respect others. This Blog will pull no punches in that department nor shall it go easy on the escalating idea of participation for participation sake. Academia, sport and extra-curricular activities are an essential part of our children’s growth. But, and it’s a big but, there is no purpose in not encouraging your child to be the best they can be. It is useless to have your child learn the piano and then not have made time for them to practise. I believe all children are smart, I believe all children are talented at something. * http://thecollectiveparent.squarespace.com

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BIRTH

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Cord blood banking IT’S WEIRD-LOOKING, SLIMY AND USUALLY ENDS UP IN THE BIN. CORD BLOOD BANKING IS EXPENSIVE. SO IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?

here are lots of decisions to be made when you’re expecting a baby, and the decision that could potentially have the most impact on your child’s life is the decision whether or not to store his or her umbilical cord blood. Even after reading up on what cord blood banking is and why it’s important, it can still be a difficult decision. Making a list of pros and cons can help some people make decisions, so we’ve done the work for you and compiled a list of our own. Parents-to-be face many decisions from the instant they know they’re expecting, as planning for the child’s future is one of the most fundamental responsibilities of a parent. Most parents will begin to put aside money for higher education, making sure their houses are “baby-proof”, ensuring their kids have all the proper nutrition as well as a loving and nurturing environment. With the latest progress of science and technology, new ways to prevent and cure diseases have been discovered. One of the most incredible new fields of scientific research is stem cell preservation. Stem cells have the remarkable potential to develop into many different cell types in the body. Serving as a sort of repair system for the body, they can theoretically divide without limit to replenish other cells as long as the person or

animal is still alive. When a stem cell divides, each new cell has the potential to either remain a stem cell or become another type of cell with a more specialized function, such as a muscle cell, a red blood cell, or a brain cell. One of the richest sources of blood stem cells is found in umbilical cord blood, and it has been successfully used to treat over 70 different diseases, including: Leukemia, Hodgkin’s Disease, and Sickle-Cell Disease. Research conducted in labs showed also that these stem cells can help to reverse symptoms of stroke by rebuilding the areas of the brain affected. Through Cord Blood Banking, it is possible for families to preserve their own genetically unique blood, after the birth of their child. It not only ensures the future of their baby’s health, it also ensures the future of their family’s health as stored cord blood can be used for family members as well. The stem cells can be kept in storage for an indefinite period of time and should they be required, they only need to be thawed and are then ready for transplantation. The collection of umbilical cord blood is a simple, safe and painless process, which takes just a few minutes. The procedure poses no health risks whatsoever to either the mother or child, and collecting the cord blood may

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baby occur after either vaginal or cesarean deliveries. Neither the baby nor the mother’s pregnancy, or birth experience, is affected by the donation procedure due to the fact that the stem cells are collected following the birth of the child. Minutes after a baby’s birth, the umbilical cord is clamped, cutting off the link between the child and the placenta. The amount of blood remaining in the umbilical cord and placenta - generally 3-5 fluid ounces - is then collected and immediately delivered to a cord blood bank for storage. (Cord blood banks have medical transport companies that come to collect the sample and transport it to the lab.) A blood

PROS • It’s easy Unlike other procedures that claim to be easy and painless, this one actually is. Collecting cord blood takes only a few seconds and is done after the umbilical cord has been cut, so there’s no pain for mother or baby. Delayed cord clamping does not affect cord blood collection, and it is recommended that healthcare providers do not alter their cord clamping practices. Stem cell quality The umbilical cord is one of the richest resources for stem cells. While it is possible to get the stem cells from bone marrow, collecting them from the umbilical cord is far less painful and much easier to do. On top of that, umbilical cord stem cells are still just as new as the day they were frozen, which means you will have a higher quality stem cell resource. Compatibility The stem cells that come from umbilical cord blood are less mature than those obtained from an adult donor, so transplanting them into the recipient is more likely to be successful. Additionally,

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sample from the mother is also taken at this point for testing. At the bank, the unit of cord blood undergoes processing, and samples are dispatched to labs for various tests. The blood is then processed in order to isolate the blood stem cells and to prepare them for cryogenic storage. Scientists are trying to use these “master” cells to treat a wide range of disorders such as cancer, autoimmune diseases and arthritis. It’s an exciting prospect. There is, however, no conclusive evidence that it works. At about $3000 to collect and store the blood in a private bank for 18 years, many parents consider it money well spent even if their child remains healthy.* the risk of the body rejecting the transplanted cells is rare, since the recipient is likely using his or her own stem cells.

CONS • It won’t cure everything While some truly miraculous treatments for a wide variety of diseases have been developed, stem cell therapy won’t be able to cure everything. A child’s own stem cells won’t be much use if he or she has a genetic disease, since the stem cells will contain the same genes as the child. It won’t treat everyone Currently, most treatments using umbilical cord blood are done on children for the simple reason that not enough stem cells can be obtained to treat adults in most cases. The supply of umbilical cord blood is limited, and that supply may not be sufficient to treat your child if he or she needs stem cell therapy as an adult. Only you can make the decision of whether or not to store your child’s umbilical cord blood.

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BIRTH

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What is a Doula? KELLY WINDER EXPLAINS WHY PREGNANT WOMEN LOVE DOULAS!

o, what is this doula thing that so many pregnant women speak of? The word ‘doula’ — pronounced ‘doola’ — is a Greek word meaning ‘woman servant or caregiver’. More recently, it refers to someone who offers emotional and physical support to a woman and her partner before, during and after childbirth. A doula (also known as a birth attendant) believes in ‘mothering the mother’. She enables a woman and her partner to have the most satisfying birth experience possible, from pregnancy and into motherhood. This type of support allows the whole family to relax and enjoy the

experience too. DONA (Doulas of North America) explains how doulas fit into the birth team: “Women have complex needs during childbirth. In addition to the safety of modern obstetrical care, and the love and companionship provided by their partners, women need consistent, continuous reassurance, comfort, encouragement and respect. They need individualised care based on their circumstances and preferences. The role of the birth doula encompasses the nonclinical aspects of care during childbirth.” Doulas have been actively supporting women in labour for a very long time, well before it was the formalised role that it is today. As a result of positive word of mouth

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(and the need for increased support), doulas are fast growing in popularity.

WHO ARE DOULAS? Doulas are trained and experienced in childbirth and are usually mothers themselves. While they have good knowledge and awareness of the birth process, a doula does not support the mother in a medical role. That is the job of the midwife or doctor. A doula helps to keep birth normal (if that is the wishes of the birthing mother), and is a valuable addition to the birth team. Should a birth become complicated and require medical assistance, a doula will still remain by your side and help in any way she can. She will not make decisions for those she supports, but she will assist them through the decision making process. A doula provides balanced information so the couple can make their own choices. Many women consider doulas to be an absolute must, especially for those giving birth in a hospital. Due to the over-medicalisation of birth, inductions of labour have skyrocketed, and are partly to blame for the 30% (that’s one out of every three!) Australian and American babies now born via c-section. Some hospitals sport c-section rates of 50% and higher. This is a shocking statistic, well above the World Health Organisation recommendations of 10-15% — after this amount, it doesn’t save any further lives, which is what the c-section was intended for. Given the long term emotional and physical effects that medical births can have on the mother, her partner and baby, a doula is a valuable asset to your birth team. By amping up your support team with experienced, continuous care from a doula, you’re giving yourself an increased chance at a better experience. Your support team are the people you will rely on to get you through your toughest, most intense moments. How well they hold the space and support you can

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impact on the outcome of your birth. With a doula, you know that someone is always on YOUR team, holding the space for you and your family. She works for you (and your partner) and has your best interests at heart.

“Should a birth become complicated and require medical assistance, a doula will still remain by your side and help in any way she can.” WHAT DOES A DOULA DO? A doula may provide some or all of the following services, dependent on her training and skills. Often doulas are also qualified in other therapies too, so it always helps to ask! • Birth education and preparation • Birth planning (including creating a written birth plan/birth preferences document) • De-briefing previous births • Massage and other comfort measures • Optimal fetal positioning • Suggest positions and changes to help ease pain and facilitate a smoother, more effective labour • Provide reassurance and encouragement • Talking through emotional blockages which may come up during pregnancy and in labour • Keep your ‘environment’ going – aromatherapy, music, candles etc • Assisting you with negotiation of your preferences • Photography and/or video of the birth itself, as well as those precious first moments as a family So much more! One of the the biggest bonuses of hiring a doula is that fact that she is a professional birth support person. Doulas are trained in the art of birth support, and have a keen eye and intuition on what a labouring mother needs. Things which a hospital midwife

unfortunately does not always have time for (as much as she may want to). Things which your partner may not pick up on, or situations he may not know how to deal with. A doula has a heart that is caring and nurturing, yet is able to remain calm and focused if things go off the rails — something that can be very difficult for family members and partners. Because family and friends tend to have an emotional connection, in the event of a problem or at the peak intensity moments, they can buckle, not knowing what to do, say or think. A doula can think clearly, see pros and cons of any situation and relay them to the couple to make their own decision. When we’re stressed, we don’t make the best decisions, and in hospital, that may make your partner, mother or other, completely agreeable to what’s being put on the table. They may feel out of their depth, uncertain or scared. A doula can help explain what’s happening with compassion and without judgment or medical jargon, so its easier for everyone to understand.

“When we’re stressed, we don’t make the best decisions, and in hospital, that may make your partner, mother or other, completely agreeable to what’s being put on the table.” TWO TYPES OF DOULAS There are two types of doulas, birth doulas and postnatal doulas, with many doulas performing both roles. The major difference is that the role of the post-natal doula is to nurture the mother after childbirth. This may include breastfeeding support, baby wearing assistance, light home duties, massage, emotional and physical support for the mother and so on. Postnatal doulas are particularly in demand as support for new mothers has reduced in modern society. Needless to say,

studies have shown that postnatal doulas make a huge impact on the wellbeing of mothers.

WHERE DO DOULAS WORK? A doula works in birth centres, private and public hospitals and at homebirth in conjunction with midwives – but never as the sole carer at birth. Birthing without a midwife or doctor present is known as free-birthing however BellyBelly recommends birth with at least a qualified midwife or doctor.

THE PROMISE OF A DOULA DONA (Doulas of North America) put together this fantastic summary of the promise of a doula: 1. You cannot hurt my feelings in labour 2. I won’t lie to you in labour 3. I will do everything in my power so you do not suffer 4. I will help you to feel safe 5. I cannot speak for you; but I will make sure that you have a voice and I will make sure you are heard Doesn’t that sound fantastic?

WHAT ARE THE PROVEN BENEFITS? A recent review of many studies from around the world have concluded that a doula’s support is more effective than hospital staff, friends or family. You can read the review here. Studies (and reviews of the studies) consistently demonstrate very impressive benefits for the mother, father and baby, including: • Fewer caesarean sections • Reduction in the use of forceps and vacuum • Fewer requests for epidurals • Reduction in the use of synthetic oxytocin for inductions or augmentations • Reduction in use of pain medication

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• Reduction in labour length • Increased rates of breastfeeding at 6 weeks post-partum • Higher self-esteem, less anxiety and less depression at 6 weeks post-partum The benefits are significant. Most of the women in the studies were accompanied by male partners, however study results show that women who had the support of a male partner and a doula fared best, for example, the caesarean rate of women supported by both a male partner and a doula was significantly lower (15.4%) than the caesarean rate for women supported only by their partners (24.4%). The studies also clearly show the positive benefits of doula support occur regardless of a woman’s economic status or whether or not they were privately insured. Its simply about having the right support with you at birth.

WHAT ABOUT THE WOMAN’S PARTNER? According to the studies (and from personal observations in births I have attended) rather than reducing a partner’s participation in the birth process, a doula’s support complements and reinforces their role. Partners feel more enthusiastic and that their contribution to the labour and birth was meaningful and helpful. I often find when partners have a visual on how to support a woman i.e. watching a doula support her, they feel more confident and relaxing having seen some ideas to try themselves. In the studies, not only did partners report higher levels of satisfaction after the birth, but mothers reported feeling more satisfied with their partners role at birth too. Over 30% of women reported that their relationships were better post-birth than they were prior to the birth.

WHAT WILL MY OB/HOSPITAL/ 42

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MIDWIFE SAY? More obstetricians and midwives are becoming aware of the doula as they become more popular; most are very supportive or are not bothered by a doula – in fact obstetricians and doulas rarely cross paths. If they do, it’s often for a very short time, during the birth. In a recent birth I attended, a student midwife told me that they were currently doing a unit on birth support in her studies, and she was very impressed about the benefits and outcomes achieved with women who have doulas. There is the occasional story I hear about some obstetricians not wanting a woman to have a doula present, however ultimately it is your own choice and decision as to the level of care you receive. An obstetrician is not present for you throughout most of the labour, only if you need intervention or to catch the baby (if they make it!). So continuous support from a known carer is crucial while you labour – because what happens during the labour can affect the outcome. It also is very telling about the sort of care you may receive at the birth if your Obstetrician is not open to you looking for ways to help reduce your chances of interventions. If your doctor is not supportive of you making choices, decisions and avoiding intervention, you may end up feel unsupported and disempowered in labour.

WHAT TRAINING DO DOULAS RECEIVE? In Australia, there are several ways a Doula can train, through courses conducted by very experienced Doulas – some of which are also midwives, doctors and educators. Again, this is not medical training – doulas are trained in professional birth support. As part of a doula’s training, she may be required to read certain

materials, attend several births (as an unpaid trainee), write assignments/reports, attend birth education classes and other requirements.

check with them what they offer, but here are a few things that may be included: • Breastfeeding support • Massage • Infant massage techniques HOW MUCH DOES A DOULA COST? • Bonding support This varies greatly dependant on experience, • Birth debriefing/counselling the state the doula is located in and what • Cleaning packages are on offer. A package offering pre • Cooking and post-natal visits (generally around 2 hours • Driving/running errands long each) as well as the duration of the birth • Settling/sleep help with baby can cost around $800-$1000 for an experienced • Overnight doulas will stay with you and doula in most states, but others charge up to help out overnight. Packages and prices $2,000. vary depending on whats on offer, but I Inexperienced doulas usually charge a lower have seen prices start around $25 per fee which can vary from ‘costs only’ (e.g. hour up to around $110 per hour, with petrol, travel) to around $250-$300. Most most being around the $55-$70 mark. A doulas offer reduced rates for those in genuine minimum amount of hours will be need. Student doulas who are looking for required, usually 2-3. Make sure you births to complete their training often have no communicate what you want from your charge at all, but we recommend paying some doula to ensure there are no sort of fee for the value of her time. miscommunications and all expectations Doulas often only attend 1-2 births a month, are realistic and met accordingly. as many are mothers with young children. Finding last-minute childcare as well as spare FINDING A DOULA time to do visits and attend births is a tricky It can be tempting to go with the first doula balance – it often happens during family time you meet (because they’re all pretty special) on weekends or after hours. So it’s not but I do recommend speaking to several something women do for monetary benefits, doulas, as every doula is unique and has but passion. If you actually did the sums and something different to offer. For example, worked out how much a doula charges, broken some specialise in certain births, like VBAC down to an hourly rate, its not significant, and (vaginal birth after caesarean), homebirth, for me pales in comparison to the massive high risk, loss etc., and I think you have a physical and emotional health benefits to not unique energy with the people that you meet only mother, but baby and partner. – it can take a few to know which one feels best. But you will quickly know who you click POST-NATAL DOULAS with. It’s important that you and your partner After the birth of your baby, post-natal both meet the Doula, you both need to feel doulas are worth their weight in gold. A birth assured and comfortable around her if you’re doula may also be a post-natal doula, or some going to share such a special, vulnerable doulas choose to train as post-natal doulas moment with her.* only. They come into your home and help you Kelly Winder is a doula (birth attendant), the out with a huge range of things that will make creator of the BellyBelly pregnancy, birth and baby your days easier and more relaxed. What a website, and a mum. Check out bellybelly.com.au post-natal doula offers is varied so you need to for more informative articles.

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BIRTH

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What a Pain! HEY DADS IT’S GOOD TO BE INFORMED ABOUT YOUR PARTNERS OPTIONS!

e’ve all seen women in labour. They are there in soap operas, movies and documentaries, normally screaming and blaming their partners. Don’t worry, it really isn’t that bad, and there is a wide range of pain relief options available to your partner.

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Birth The fact that labour pain is natural and inevitable doesn’t mean that your partner has to put up with it and it’s certainly possible to have, if not a pain free labour, at least a short respite. • While some women prefer to go with a natural birth, using natural pain relieving methods such as siting in water and massage (which you can do). • Others opt for pain relief, whether in the form of an epidural, pethidine, gas and oxygen (Entonox), or TENS - or a combination of methods. Pain medication may affect the baby and the progress of the labour though. • You should discuss your partner’s expectations well in advance of the big day to be sure that you understand what she wants.

BIRTH PLAN: WHAT’S THAT ALL ABOUT? Your role • Just being there and giving her your support makes a world of difference; whether that’s holding her hand or communicating the birth plan when she can’t talk for gritted teeth. • If you are asked about something make sure you stick to her wishes and follow the plan. If she has chosen a natural birth, don’t rush her into an epidural at the first moan or cry. • Research shows that women whose partners are there supporting them during the delivery feel less pain, end up taking less medication and feel more positive about birth experiences than women whose partners don’t participate. • If you can help to relax her and take her mind off what’s going on you can help her to cope with the pain. The calmer and more relaxed you are, the more helpful you’ll be.

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HERE ARE THE OPTIONS EPIDURAL Epidural is the most popular form of pain relief. An anaesthetist injects a local anaesthetic mixed with narcotics into the back of the spine through a tiny plastic tube which can be connected to a pump - or the doctor can give periodic injections. It is also possible to have a lower dose walking epidural Pros: • Blocks most pain in the abdomen (although she will still feel the pressure) within about ten minutes • Very useful if an emergency Caesarean is needed (in which case a spinal epidural may be used,causing profound numbness and pain relief) Cons: • Requires constant monitoring • Can slow labour, lower blood pressure and cause headaches • Makes a Caesarean more likely because it is harder to push • Can take away all feeling, making it hard to pee (a catheter is then inserted into the bladder) • There is a higher incidence of long-term back pain related to epidurals ENTONOX A mixture of laughing gas (nitrous oxide) and oxygen taken through a mask or mouthpiece. Gas can also be used for a general anaesthetic before an emergency Caesarean Pros: • Reduces pain and helps to calm and relax your partner • Does not restrict movement Cons: • Can cause nausea or make your partner feel spaced out • Doesn’t always work.

TENS Wires inside pads attached to the back send electrical currents to block pain messages to the brain. Pros: • Does not affect the baby • Your partner can remain in control by varying levels (she holds the TENS unit) and she can move around • Particularly good for back ache Cons: • Some women find it irritating • If used late in labour, it may be ineffective • Does not remove the pain, but may make it easier to manage PETHIDINE A drug which has a similar feeling to morphine, given either through injection in the buttocks or thigh. Still commonly used but less so than in the past. It is an opioid, which mimics the natural endorphins. Tranquilisers can also be given (usually with a narcotic). Pros: • Takes the edge off the pain, particularly when early labour is prolonged Cons: • Hinders ability to walk around because she may be unsteady on her feet • Can cause nausea • Makes her drowsy • Is likely to make the baby sleepy and less interested in feeding for a couple of days • If given too close to the birth, the baby may be slow to breathe and need an antidote A NATURAL BIRTH • With a natural birth the pain is managed through breathing exercises, massage, relaxation techniques and

warm baths • Your partner is not hooked up to any medical equipment and is able to move about • Getting her into warm water can help – particularly for relaxation, making the contractions easier to bear. But even the best laid birth plans can be binned on the big day, especially if labour is prolonged or there are complications. If the delivery has complications pain relief may be essential.

tips for dads to be

the perfect birth partner.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Be aware of what she wants Look after yourself! Know what to expect Be flexible Be ready to do some hard work yourself! Be prepared for surprise Be a one-person support team Know your limits Be prepared to take charge Be prepared to wait

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DADS

mychild | september 2015

How dads bond FATHER OF TWO JOHN LEWIS COUNTS DOWN THROUGH THE MAJOR PREGNANCY MILESTONES THAT AFFECT DADS SO YOU’LL KNOW WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR.

hat if I don’t love my child? Your best mate rings you up. “Wow, what’s it like being a dad?” “It’s fantastic,” you lie. “She’s beautiful. From the moment she was born, I felt such profound and deep love…” You trot out these cliches, but you’re not sure you actually mean a word you’re saying. In fact, you may look at this tiny wrinkled creature in front of you and feel nothing. When my first child was born I’m not entirely sure that I loved her. Or, to be more accurate, I might have loved her in a zealous, fearful and slightly guilty way, but I don’t think that I actually liked her. The truth is that many fathers find it very difficult to bond with their newborn baby. Who can really blame you when you’re experiencing such a mixture of emotions? You may be feeling daunted by the financial and emotional responsibilities of parenthood. Not to mention insecure. After watching your partner suffer during childbirth, all you want to do is care for her and for your baby, but it’s hard when neither of them seem to have much time for you. You worry that your partner doesn’t love you anymore and that you’ll never have sex with her again. You feel

pressure to be this big, strong man, but you haven’t slept in days and feel physically and mentally exhausted.

BONDING It’s obviously important that mother and baby spend a lot of time together in the early weeks. Your partner’s got a host of postnatal endorphins and happy hormones whizzing through her and, if she’s breastfeeding, she’s also developing important eye and skin-toskin contact with your baby. Try to keep in mind that you’re not in competition with her, and the time they spend alone together is not something to be resented. Still, as you all start to settle into a routine, find a part of the day when you can have some quality time with your baby. That’s when your little one will launch her charm offensive on you by simply grabbing your finger or smiling. Before you know it, you’ll be completely head over heels in love, and not just because you think you should be.

SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH ON BONDING Studies show that fathers who are at their baby’s birth, and hold their little one shortly afterwards, have very similar feelings of attachment to those experienced by mothers

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dads for the first few weeks. Putting in the time and effort at the start is certainly worth your while. Most research suggests that keeping close during those early months will encourage a good relationship with your child as she gets older. Even talking to your partner’s bump before your little one arrived will have been time well spent, as your newborn baby is supposed to be able to recognise your voice. To look at it in crude business terms, it means that every nappy changed, every cuddle and every game of “peekaboo” is an emotional investment for the future, building trust between you. Other studies from Canada suggest that expectant fathers actually experience biological and hormonal changes that prepare them for parenting. This research says that testosterone in expectant fathers will drop by a third, while the hormones prolactin and cortisol, both connected with pregnant women, will rise significantly in the three weeks before your baby’s due date. Similar research shows that prolactin levels in men increase when they cuddle a baby or even a crying doll. It backs up findings that there is some genuine physiological basis for expectant fathers experiencing the symptoms of a phantom pregnancy.

BONDING THROUGH PLAY Research also suggests that mothers and fathers tend to specialise in different types of contact once their baby is past its first few weeks of life. The mother’s role is likely to involve more talking and quiet interaction, while the father’s role tends to involve more physical playfulness. Obviously, this may just reflect existing role models and stereotypes. However, it does give fathers something to aspire to. You are the “fun parent”, the one who does the piggy-backs, the flying baby, the raspberries. It also means that you’ll probably be the lucky one who sees your baby laugh for the first time.

mychild | september 2015

THE FIRST SMILE After four, five, six weeks of putting your baby’s needs above almost everything else, you’ve received absolutely nothing in return. It feels as if all your affection, attention, love and effort are being flung down a bottomless well. You’ve convinced yourself that parenthood is not for you and are even beginning to resent your new family member.

AND THEN YOUR BABY SMILES. You might have thought you’d seen it before. Her face could have contorted into what looked like a smile, but it was merely her trying to force out some trapped wind. Her lips might have curled up into the semblance of a semi-circle, but it was merely the first stages of a whimper en route to a full-on wailing session. No, your baby’s first smile is in a league of its own, and there’s no confusing it. I remember watching a football match on television with my six-week-old daughter on my knee. Involuntarily, when my team scored I leapt up with my baby and suddenly saw that she had a big smile on her face. I grinned back and her smile turned into a giggle. Suddenly, the endless duties of the last few weeks seemed worth it and a few tears started welling up. Maybe it’s because we’re shallow and easily pleased, but the emotion of making your child laugh is one of the most incredible you will experience. Ask other parents what makes their children giggle. You’ll often be surprised by the seemingly random answers. Try nodding your head, rustling a paper bag, putting on a jumper, sucking your thumb, blowing raspberries on your child’s belly or pretending to bite her. If all else fails, peekaboo is one form of physical slapstick that will be guaranteed to work. Revealing your head from under a sheet, towel or jumper will, for some reason, have your child in fits of laughter for hours.*

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BABY

mychild | september 2015

How to create a safe sleeping environment for your baby WHEN IT COMES TO THINKING ABOUT HOW AND WHERE YOUR BABY WILL BE SLEEPING DURING INFANCY, THERE ARE SOME IMPORTANT POINTS TO CONSIDER.

aturally you will want your newborn’s sleep to be as comfortable and safe as possible in his or her first months, which, as well as helping them swiftly along to the land of nod, will give you the peace of mind to catch up on much-needed rest yourself. Here we discuss some handy safety tips to take into account when putting baby to bed.

WHAT SHOULD MY BABY’S ROOM BE LIKE?

• Ideally your baby should sleep in the same room as you during their first few months as this has been shown to decrease the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). • It’s important for your baby to be sleeping at the correct temperature without getting too hot or too cold. The optimal temperature advised is between 16C and 20C (61-68F). • Baby’s sleeping environment should be smoke-free at all times. • Make sure that the room is quiet. You

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dads may have to close windows or oil squeaky door-hinges if your baby is especially noise-sensitive. • Ensure that there are no dangling cords near to where your baby sleeps to avoid them becoming tangled in them. • Also, position the cot away from windows, heaters, and any furniture that your baby might be able to use to climb out of the cot.

WHAT KIND OF COT SHOULD MY BABY SLEEP IN? • Your baby should be slumbering in a cot fitted with bars less than 45-65mm apart to prevent his or her head slipping between the bars. • Also, make sure that there are no sharp points baby could catch themselves on, or cut-outs in the headboard that could trap tiny limbs. • Ensure that the cot is painted with leadfree paint in order to avoid the risk of lead poisoning. • The mattress should be clean and dry, and fitted so that it is flush against the sides of the cot. Make sure there is no danger of your baby slipping off the mattress. • It’s currently recommended that if you’re using a previously-owned cot, you should still get a new mattress. • There should be no cuddly toys or cushions in the cot with baby when he or she is put to bed. Soft objects can create a risk if baby becomes pushed up against them in the night and is unable to breathe. • Always remember to keep the side rails of your baby’s cot up and locked into position when baby is in the cot. • When your baby grows enough to be able to pull him or herself upright, any mobiles or decorations that hang across

mychild | september 2015

the cot should be removed before they present a hazard.

HOW SHOULD I PUT MY BABY TO BED? • Unless you have been advised otherwise by your healthcare provider, you should always lay your baby flat on their back when you put them down for a sleep, as this has been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS. • It’s also advisable to put baby to bed with their feet towards the bottom of the mattress, with the blankets tucked in, to prevent them wriggling down under their covers in the night.

WHAT KIND OF BEDDING SHOULD MY BABY SLEEP IN? • If you are using second-hand bedding, be aware of the risk of wear and tear. Worn, badly ventilated bedding can increase the risk of SIDS by not allowing baby to breathe freely. • Check that any sleepwear you use for your baby is flame-retardant. • Don’t give your baby a hot water bottle or electric blanket to sleep with. • Your baby should be sleeping on a surface that is flat and firm, so no need for a pillow. • Avoid duvets, too, until baby is at least a year old; instead use cotton cot blankets. • Keep baby’s head uncovered - blankets should be tucked in only up to their chest.

WHEN SHOULD I MOVE MY BABY FROM COT TO BED? • With your baby growing so fast, it’s hard to tell when they have outgrown their cot. As a general rule, it’s time to move him or her to a bed if, when standing, the top rail of the cot comes to below their chest.*

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DADS

mychild | september 2015

10 Tips for New Fathers IF YOU ARE A NEW DAD, GUESS WHAT RESEARCH SHOWS IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS YOU CAN DO TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE STRONGER? CHANGE HIS NAPPY.

ep… Becoming a new father can be a daunting task, but there are ten things to keep in mind that will help you, your new baby, and your marriage.

TIME AND TOLERANCE.

The most important thing you can do is simply spend time with your newborn. Serious research about fatherhood is only a scant 30 years old, and what we know is that the more time fathers spend with their infants the better. Researchers in the early years of father-infant bonding couldn’t find fathers spending enough time with their infants to study them. In other words, dads weren’t spending an adequate amount of time with their baby to even start measuring the impact. What we know now is that the time you can

just be with your infant is valuable. Along with time, you will need to have some tolerance for you and your new creation to get to know one another. This is your first time being a father and your son or daughter’s first time being a human being. Be kind and gentle with yourselves. Allow for some learning, experimentation and mutual tolerance. Give yourself time to learn and grow into the role.

EYE CONTACT.

We have known for a long time that infants are drawn to the human face, but with computer-enhanced research we were able to realize what they look at: the eyes. Babies have a preference for the human face in general, and eye contact in particular. The one thing to remember about this is that they

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dads can only see clearly about a foot in front of them, so remember to smile, stay close, and look ‘em in the eye.

REPETITIVE SOUNDS.

Particularly something called the bilabials; Pa-pa, Ma-ma, Ba-ba are the first and most common sounds infants can make. They are simple because the two lips are pressed together with a puff of air pushed through them. That is why most first utterances around the globe for mother, father and bottle use these sounds. They are easy to make and the infant can get some quick language control and feedback from their environment in this way. (Trust me, the first time your little one says Pa-Pa to you will be a peak experience.) To strengthen the connection, when you hear them making the sound, make it back. Eventually the two of you can start your own bilabial chorus.

INFANTS ARE FANS OF MOTION.

They love it and crave it, and need it. They love to be held, jostled, bounced and jiggled. There is good reason for this. Movement helps infants develop everything from their brains to their sense of balance. When you hold your baby, give them a feeling of security, but not too tight or too loose. Don’t be afraid to hold and sway and bounce and cuddle. Learn what he or she likes and cultivate that motion. You want to be the one with that magic touch when baby needs a motion magician.

CHANGE THAT DIAPER!

Researchers early on found out that the fathers who changed their baby’s nappies had stronger, better, and more long-lasting marriages. So if you want to score points with mum and with your baby — learn the art of nappy changing and treat it as a shared duty with mum. If you don’t want the faeces to hit the oscillator in your relationship, learn to

mychild | september 2015

deal with it at the source.

MAKE A PLAY DATE WITH BABY.

Maybe Tuesday is girls night out, or you don’t start work until noon on Thursday, but whatever the schedule can permit, have planned time to be the one and only caregiver for your baby. One-on-one bonding is important. When mum is in the room there is typically a preference by the infant for her to be the one in charge. Take time to figure out what your relationship is with your newborn — just the two of you. This is important. You need to be able to manage this baby thing solo, and there is no other way to get this experience.

TEAMWORK.

The above point having been said, you also need to realize you are part of a team. You and mum are a tag-team. This may be a different set of skills than when you are oneon-one. As an example, when mum was out and I was joyfully bottlefeeding my daughter with breast milk we had pumped for her, everything was wonderful. But the moment mum came home from her classes, my daughter wasn’t in the mood for Mr. secondbest. She could hear and, through the magic of pheromones, smell mum and wanted to be with her. This was the transition time. Recognize that the three of you function like a mobile hanging from the ceiling and are in balance with one another. As the infant’s needs change, the balance of mum and dad will need to change along with it.

KEEP YOUR PROMISES.

As your child grows and as you develop as a family, remember that dads have to be absolutely certain to do one thing: keep their promises. If you promise your spouse you are going to be home at 6:30 p.m., make that the priority in your life that day. As your child grows, these promises to him or her become

the backbone of your relationship. Deliver on what you promise and the ease and security of the relationship will evolve. Renege on these consistently and an insecure bonding, something you definitely do not want, can happen. I encourage parents I work with to only make commitments and promises they can keep. I’d rather them keep one promise than make three and only keep two.

BE RESPONSIVE.

A reach, a look, a cry, anything your little one does to make a connection with you should be honoured. Remember — they are just learning how to be in the world. Let them know you appreciate their effort. Studies have shown that parents who are responsive to their infant’s cries and needs help them develop better communication and language skills. It makes sense. If you know you are being responded to, you look to make that process more efficient.

. LOVE, LOVE, AND THEN SOME MORE LOVE.

Mammalian love is a complex interaction of biochemistry and behaviour. Mammals are unique in this regard because we are predisposed to care for each other. This isn’t true of all species. Consider the reptiles–they eat their young. But as mammals we are hardwired to love and care for each other. No one would argue against the fact that mothers have more of this than fathers, but what dads may not have instinctually they can easily develop. The neuroscientists have shown some interesting data that suggests that when parents and children interact, their limbic systems, the emotional part of the brain, actually resonate and adjust to each other. This means that after a while both you and your baby become attuned to the presence of the other. And that is the kind of harmony that can last a lifetime.*

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DADS

mychild | september 2015

Dad myth busters THE NOTION THAT WOMEN MAKE BETTER PARENTS THAN MEN, AND THAT MEN HAVE TO BE DRAGGED KICKING AND SCREAMING INTO PARENTHOOD, IS UNDERPINNED BY A NUMBER OF MYTHS. EXPERT ADRIENNE BURGESS UNPACKS THEM FOR YOU. READ ON – AND YOU’LL SEE WHY THERE’S NO REASON TO FEEL ON THE BACK FOOT WHERE PARENTING IS CONCERNED...

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dads

MEN DON’T WANT CHILDREN AS MUCH AS WOMEN DO

Early on, men do lag behind women in wanting children: girls in their teens are more likely to want children than teenage boys – and so it continues into the 30s. However, by the age of 40 everything has changed: there’s a catch up in men’s desire to have children; so by this age just as many men as women think that having children is very important. Maybe men are less keen on the idea early on because they worry more about the financial costs: both dads and mums tend to regard fathers as having a greater duty to support their children financially – even if the mum is in fact the main breadwinner.

DADS DON’T MAKE MUCH DIFFERENCE

Wrong. Young children with involved dads fit in better at nursery and school, have higher IQs and fewer behaviour problems. They make friends more easily and are better able to understand how other people feel. Later, they tend to have more contented love lives and better mental health, and to be less likely to get into trouble with the police. All this is true for girls as much as for boys. And it’s still important when parents have separated.

DADS HARDLY EVER LOOK AFTER CHILDREN

Wrong. Dads can be super-sensitive to babies – and just as sensitive as mothers: • Men’s hearts race as fast as women’s when they hear a baby scream. • Fathers can recognise their own infants, blindfold, just by touching their hands – after only an hour spent cuddling them. • When a man bottle-feeds an infant, he does so just as sensitively as a woman – and the baby drinks the same amount of milk.

Wrong. Even though they work much longer hours, fathers do one-quarter of the parental childcare during the average working week (about two hours a day), much more at weekends, one third when their partners work. Dads do eight times more childcare than their fathers did 30 years ago – and the gap between mothers’ and fathers’ input is narrowing every year. And when mums work, who’s the most likely to care for the children? Nursery? Childminder? Granny & Grandpa? Nope – it’s dad!

MEN ARE INSENSITIVE TO BABIES

MUMS ARE NATURALLY BETTER AT CARING FOR CHILDREN

Wrong. Both sexes are equally ham-fisted to start with. But new mums are on a steep learning curve, spending many hours on their own early on, developing their childcare skills, often with great support from health professionals, family and friends. Dads get very little of this. But it’s what he needs: when men and women are able to spend the same amount of time looking after babies, and are given the same support, they develop childcare skills at exactly the same rate.

mychild | september 2015

MEN CAN’T MULTITASK

Wrong. Research shows clearly that men are just as good at multi-tasking as women (think about it: does a bartender multi-task? Can a computer-freak with eight applications open at once dodge between them? Of course!) IF men are less likely than women to multitask at home then it’s not due to any kind of biological inferiority. It’s more likely to be that they’re in a support-role (managers generally multi-task more often than support staff) or that they’re not totally confident about the task in hand, and need to focus on it. *

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NEWS

Kickstart Paternal Bonding

ore men are taking significant roles in caring for their young. Although dads are the likely bread-winner while mums takes maternity leave, they still want to feel useful when they are at home. Babywearing fits the bill; encouraging a dad’s capacity to care for his new offspring and allowing him to help his partner. Women have nine months to literally ‘grow’ into their new role as mothers, men do not share a physical transition to mark the beginning of their new role. Fathers therefore tend to discover their parental footing a little more slowly. Babywearing can encourage this process as dads spend more time in close contact getting to know their newborns more intimately.

mychild | september 2015

While research on the effect of a father’s role is value laden, current studies point towards the fact that fathers are essential for a child’s holistic wellbeing and that paternal influences do have a positive effect upon a child’s socioemotional development. Babywearing offers dads and their babies the best start in life – a positive way to enjoy baby from birth and the chance to build a strong, lasting relationship right from the very start.

THE BENEFITS OF BABYWEARING FOR DADS INCLUDE: • the ability to care for both partner and baby simultaneously while remaining hands-free • natural feel-good hormones such as

oxytocin, which trigger paternal protective behaviours • the ability to learn baby’s cues and signals much sooner than non-babywearing dads • a relaxed confidence about being identified as a caregiver • a great start to life for both dads and their babies! • A-list celebrity dads enjoy babywearing too – Orlando Bloom, Ethan Hawke, Neil Patrick Harris and Channing Tatum are all known to be babywearing dads. Australian celebrity dads are also discovering the joy of embracing babywearing! Since there are so many babywearing options available, selecting a dad-friendly baby carrier or sling will ensure that he will get maximum use and enjoyment from it. Dads prefer models that don’t inhibit their everyday activities. Feminine patterns, ties or sashes are usually avoided, with a preference for streamline designs in gender neutral or dark colours. Dads are more sensitive than mums to overheating in a baby carrier and therefore prefer lighter-weight fabrics. The Ergobaby Performance Collection provides some ideal babywearing solutions for dads – lightweight, active styles with moisture-wicking lining and cool mesh panels. Anita Lincolne-Lomax, babywearing expert and director of ‘Babes in Arms’, whose own husband carried their four children, says “Babywearing for dads is a win-win for everyone - babies get hugged, dads feel more confident and mums get a rest! It ticks all the boxes!”

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BABY

Teething milestones HOW TO BE PREPARED FOR YOUR BABY’S TEETHING JOURNEY.

mychild | september 2015

eething can be a long drawn-out process for your baby (and you). In fact, the move from that gummy grin to a mouthful of gleaming teeth can take your baby his first three years to complete.

WHEN WILL MY BABY GET HIS FIRST TOOTH? Most babies sprout their first tooth at around six months. But your baby may have his first white cap, usually in the front at the bottom, any time between three months and his first birthday, although it can come as late as 14 months. Your baby’s last teeth, which are the second molars, found in the upper and lower back of his mouth, are usually in place by his second year. So by your baby’s third birthday, he should have a full set of 20 baby teeth.

WILL TEETHING BE PAINFUL FOR MY BABY? There is some controversy about whether or not teething causes your baby pain. Your baby may drool and be irritable intermittently before his tooth appears. You may worry that your baby has a fever or diarrhoea when a tooth is about to come through, but teething shouldn’t cause illness. If your baby seems ill, it’s more likely he’s coming down with a cold, an infection or a tummy bug. Take him to your doctor if you are concerned. Your baby’s gums can also become inflamed when he cuts a tooth, which may make his cheeks appear red and swollen. For some babies, teething can be a fairly painless mouth makeover. One week your baby is sporting a toothless grin, and the next a jagged white edge may appear on the gum surface, without causing much upset. Celebrate your baby’s first tooth by taking lots of pictures, and note its arrival date in his

baby book. Your baby’s teeth will sprout one after another. After the arrival of the two bottom front teeth, expect the top two middle teeth, then the teeth along the sides and back. Tooth development is hereditary, so if you got your teeth early, chances are your baby will, too.

HOW CAN I HELP MY BABY THROUGH TEETHING? • You can’t do anything to encourage your baby’s teeth to appear, but you can comfort him if he’s irritable: • Give your baby something cool to chew on, such as a teething ring kept in the fridge, a small toothbrush or clean wash cloth. Watch out for any choking hazards and stay near your baby when he is eating in case of choking. • Your baby may get some relief from eating cold foods, such as apple puree or yoghurt, straight from the fridge. • If your baby is older than four months, you can rub teething gel for babies on his gums. Ask your pharmacist for one that is free of sugar, aspirin and salicylates. • If you baby is really in distress, you can give him the correct dose of sugar-free infant paracetamol or ibuprofen, as long as he is three months or older. Always follow the correct dosage instructions on the packet. Ask your doctor or pharmacist if you are unsure how much to give your baby. • Some parents swear by homeopathic teething powder, which you can buy from your pharmacy. There isn’t any medical evidence that it works, however.

“If your baby has a temperature, or if he is inconsolable, see your doctor. “ HOW SHOULD I CARE FOR MY BABY’S TEETH? september 2015 | mychild

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baby Once your baby’s teeth arrive, it’s up to you to keep them clean. It’s best to start brushing your baby’s teeth as soon as they start to come through with a soft moist cloth or soft toothbrush. From 18 months of age continue to use a soft toothbrush with a pea size amount of low-flouride toothpaste . Once your baby has teeth, try not to put him to bed with a bottle. Formula can pool in your baby’s mouth at night and lead to tooth decay. Older babies can also get tooth decay from breastfeeding continuously and frequently at night after they have cut teeth and started solids. You can avoid this by detaching your baby from your nipple when the feed is finished, or gently wiping or brushing his teeth and gums when he’s finished feeding. In most areas of Australia fluoride is added to drinking water, but in some areas the water isn’t fluoridated or you may use tank water as your water supply. Your local water supplier should be able to tell you how much fluoride is in your drinking water. Fluoride supplements are no longer recommended but if your water does not have fluoride added your child should use a small amount of adult fluoride toothpaste from 12 months. Make brushing your baby’s teeth a fun part of his bedtime routine. Show him how to move the brush around on his teeth. Use a soft baby toothbrush and a smear of low-flouride toothpaste from 18 months. Low-flouride toothpaste should be used until he is 7 years old. Try to clean the surface of each tooth and his gumline. If your baby doesn’t like the taste of the toothpaste, try another brand. If he does indulge in sweets, at a birthday party for example, make sure to brush his teeth soon after he eats. You can also encourage him to

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finish up with something savoury such as a piece of cheese. It’s a good idea to take your baby along to your own dentist appointments as soon as you can. This will help him to get used to the idea of having his teeth looked at.

WHAT IS THE SPOT ON MY BABY’S GUM? You may have noticed a small bruise or blood blister on your baby’s gum. It can be a blue or red colour. This is called a teething blister or eruption cyst and may appear before your baby’s tooth cuts through the gum. These blisters usually go away when the tooth appears and don’t need any treatment. Don’t be tempted to try and pop the blister and let your dentist know if your baby has a blister for a few months and no tooth comes.

MY BABY IS 10 MONTHS AND THERE’S NO SIGN OF A TOOTH YET. SHOULD I BE WORRIED? Many babies don’t sprout their first tooth until they are a year old, so try not to worry if your baby is still giving you gummy smiles. If you still don’t see any sign of a tooth appearing by the time your baby is one, mention it at his next check-up, though some babies don’t get a first tooth until after they turn one. If your baby has signs of teething, but also seems to be in huge amounts of pain and is crying inconsolably, see your doctor.

HOW LONG WILL MY BABY HAVE HIS FIRST TEETH FOR? Years! Your baby’s milk teeth won’t fall out until his permanent teeth are ready to come through. This will begin to happen when he’s about six years old. *

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SHOPPING

BABY& TODDLER MY OCTOPUS FRIEND This Lamaze Octotunes toy, $29.95, is lots of fun. It’s a great educational toy to help your baby develop their motor skills while entertaining them with music. Designed to promote imaginative play and handeye coordination, visit lamazetoys.com.

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EXTRA PADDING These reusable Nursing Pads by Pea Pods, $19.95, are an environmentally friendly alternative to standard disposable pads. They’re breathable and made from soft bamboo with a waterproof outer layer. See peapods.com.au.

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SIMPLE SIP Papenboo’s Lovi 360 Cup range, from $18.95, is BPA-free and made with a unique sealing system that allows children to drink from around the rim without spilling. You can buy the cups in sizes Mini 210ml, Junior 250ml and Active 350ml. Head to papenboo.com.au.

SOFT AS SILK When a baby is born the protective layer of their skin is not fully developed, baby’s skin needs a stable pH of 5.5 to develop. Baby Sebamed is the only range developed at the pH value of 5.5 for healthy skin to develop and maintain your baby’s skin.. www.sebamed.com.au

LET OFF SOME STEAM Medela’s Quick Clean Microwave Bag, $26.95, is an easy-to-use disinfectant bag that kills 99.9 percent of germs and bacteria. It is perfect for breastfeeding accessories and only takes three minutes in the microwave to sterilise the contents, making it a chemical-free cleaning option. Go to medela.com.au.

CUDDLE SOFT Delightfully fluffy and the perfect size for carrying out and about, this cute and snugly comforter will make the softest friend. www.ragtales.co.uk

LEND A HAND Scratch mittens are an essential for every baby after birth as they help keep hands warm, and stop them from scratching their skin. These mittens from Fourzero are priced at $14 and are made in Australia from organic cotton and bamboo fabric. Choose from a variety of colours such as raspberry, moss green and navy at fourzero.com.au.

SEE MORE Oricom’s Secure910 Digital Video Baby Monitor, $329, lets you monitor your baby clearly with a split screen view to different rooms. It can connect up to four cameras, has digital pan-tilt and zoom, parent talkback to comfort your baby, a nightlight and room temperature display. Head to oricom.com.au.

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GIFT GUIDE

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FATHERS DAY

gift guide

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gift guide

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1| BABYBJORN BABY CARRIER ONE – BLACK MESH $249.95 www.babybjorn.com.au

7I POLAROID CUBE $100 www.polaroid.com 74

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2| FATHERS DAY PRINTABLES

3| TEENY KEG

Assorted priced www.tinyme.com

Perfect for the BBQ $157.99 www.boxbrewkits.com

8| KEYSMART COMPACT KEY HOLDER $20.00 www.getkeysmart.com

9| BIG BEN Metal earth ornament RRP $29.95 www.metalearth.com

12 4| BABYJORN TRAVEL COT MESH $395.95 www.babybjorn.com.au

10|STORKSAK JAMIE BLACK OR CAPACCINO RRP $335.99 www.storksak.com

5| ORGANIC COTTON SLEEP & LOUNGE PANT $59.95 www.optocoonline.com

6| GOLF SWAG

11I PROJECTOR

12| KENMAR MEISTER $104.00

for Iphone Android Phone $221.89

Golf Ball Carrier, $50, www.clava.com

www.prinkbox.com.au

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10 8

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1| PC FOR MEN A simple yet complete routine

2| BOCCE BALL SET

3| CHROMECAST

for every man’s skin POA By PC4men

It’s great for the lawn or the beach. $90, www.restorationhardware.com

Supports all major apps. $28.74 www.Amazon.com

7| ORICOM

8| FUSION RAZOR AND STAND

9I RACE CASE SUITCASE

FS300 Non-Contact Digital Infrared Thermometer. www.oricom.com.au

$440 by Acqua di Parma Perfect for the travelling ,www:bergdorfgoodman.com man $599 www.suitsupply.com

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4| 2 IN 1 RETRO SLUSHIE & SOFT ICE CREAM MAKER £59.99 www.menkind.co.uk

10|SRC ACTIVATE - MENS LEGGING $189.00 www.srchealth.com

5| THE ICEMULE COOLER $39 - $112, www.icemulecooler.co

6| PATAGONIA SIMPLE FLY FISHING KIT. $279.85 www.patagonia.com

11| GYM/WORK BAG - BLACK

12|MINIMONKEY

$184.00 www.dsptch.com

Dynamic carrier Black with grey! $129.99 september 2015 | mychild

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THIS PAGE: BEBE LACE HEM DRESS $84.95 BEBE LACE OVERLAY DRESS $84.95

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Sugar and spice

WONDERFUL SPRING FASHION FROM MINIHAHA FOR EVERY LITTLE BOY AND GIRL

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LIBERTY S/S TUCK DRESS $74.95 THIS PAGE:

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1| LIBERTY WOVEN ROMPER + BOW MAE $59.95

2| WILLOW S/S WRAP ROMPER $38.95

3| NADIA PRINT S/S WRAP ROMPER $39.95

4| PALE PINK LIBERTY PRINT FRILL BODYSUIT $52.95

5| WILLOW WOVEN ROMPER + BOW $39.95

6| NADIA RUFFLE ROMPER $42.95

7| LIBERTY S/S DRESS TATUM BLUE $81.95

8| WILLOW OVERDRESS ROMPER $39.95

9| NADIA ROMPER + OVERDRESS $42.95

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THIS PAGE: JONAH SAILBOAT TEE $29.95 JONAH FRENCH TERRY OVERALL

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1| COLE KNITTED ROMPER OVERALL $54.95

2| WYATT S/S RACCOON TEE $29.95

6| JONAH LIGHTHOUSE TEE $29.95

4| DECLAN S/LESS WOVEN ROMPER $42.95

5| WYATT PRINT SOFT PANT $26.95

9| GREY BLUE JONAH STRIPED FRENCH TERRY SHORT $38.95

7| COLE TEXTURED ROMPER OVERALL $39.95

8| WYATT MIX WYATT MOCK LAYER BODYSUIT $32.95

3| JONAH S/S ZIP FRONT ROMPER $37.95 september 2015 | mychild

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THIS PAGE: RIO PRINT TU TU DRESS $39.95

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1| SAHARA RARA PRINT PLAYSUIT $46.95

2| YALE BALLOON LUNAR PRINT ROMPER $38.95

3| KENYA PRINT SL JUMPSUIT $44.95

4| WAIKIKI SCRIBBLE DRESS + BODYSUIT $46.95

5| YALE BOAT DIP TEE $32.95

6| KENYA ELCIPSE EMBROIDERED YOKE ROMPER $42.95

7| WAIKIKI FLAMINGO S/S SL ROMPER $36.95

8| YALE CHAMBRAY PALM SHORT $34.95

9| SAHARA EMBROIDERED SLV DRESS $49.95 september 2015 | mychild

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THIS PAGE: COLE ELEPHANT VEST $54.95 COLE CHECK TAB SLV SHIRT $49.95 COLE LIGHTWEIGHT SUITPANT PRINCE NAVY $42.95

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Minihaha & Hiawatha Pty Ltd started in 1994, with a small range of girls wear and layette baby wear which over the years has developed into five distinct labels of high quality, high fashion merchandise. The company is regarded as one of the leading producers of up market children’s clothing labels in Australia. Under their umbella, they produce five labels including Bébé by Minihaha, Fox & Finch, Fox & Finch Baby, Tahlia and Sophia by Minihaha. The labels are distributed across Australia in all David Jones department stores, Baby Bunting Stores and leading boutiques, gift shops and online stores. They are also available in department stores and specialty boutiques in New Zealand.

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IDEAS

Nice and neat, the Ubbi Bin fits in with all decor 88

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Lock it in! NAPPY DISPOSAL SYSTEMS ARE ESSENTIALLY CONTAINERS AND WRAPPERS THAT AUTOMATICALLY AIRSEAL AND WRAP USED DISPOSABLE NAPPIES INTO A CONTAINER THAT YOU EMPTY OUT PERIODICALLY.

t’s a hygenic and convenient way of dealing with used nappies. The container stops the aromas, other children can’t get at the used nappies and you don’t have to traipse to the bin after every nappy change Ken Berlin is not a parent but he as been working for over 15 years in the world of babies and new parents, and has learnt a thing or two about children. Ken and Tom are busines partners and they are the developers of the Ubbi Bin

WHEN DID YOU LAUNCH YOUR LABEL AND WHAT INSPIRED YOU?

ago that he realized firsthand as a father, the lack of a well-designed nappy bin that actually works and looks good. By becoming a parent, he immediately recognized the potential to make products that are better designed, which brought us to branch out of keepsakes into more functional products by launching the Ubbi brand. After the successful introduction of the Ubbi nappy bin, which is now an award-winning product available worldwide, innovative solutions to make parent’s life easier haven’t stopped pouring in and brought us to expand beyond the diapering category into toilet training, bath and feeding products.

We launched Ubbi about 4 years ago. Tom and I actually have been in business since 1999 with our Pearhead brand. When we first started neither of us had children, so it was pretty CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE TEAM? funny that our passion soon became developing We have a fantastic team, and truly would be keepsakes and gift products for new parents. It lost without them. Nadine a mother of two, wasn’t until Tom had his daughter Skye 7 years whose background is in marketing, was brought

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on to launch Ubbi as a the brand manager. She has truly gone above and beyond, and plays an integral role in the development, design, and marketing of each and every Ubbi item. Our office space is an open environment, so it allows all of our designers, and the rest of our team to easily collaborate and share ideas on a daily basis.

convenience and cost, we created the Ubbi Nappy Bin to not require special bags. This ended up being a key ingredient to its success. Although our nappy bin might be a bit more cost-wise with the initial purchase, there is significant savings over time.

WHAT HAS BEEN THE MOST CHALLENGING ASPECT OF SETTING UP THE LABEL?

Aside from essentially working all the time?....It’s great to be able to express yourself creatively and have the ability to make your vision for a product or direction a reality. It’s incredible to watch your company evolve and go in a direction that you never knew was possible. It’s extremely rewarding to see an idea that was born out of a casual team discussion to grow all the way into an actual product sitting on the store shelf.

We create all of our products from scratch, so with that comes significant time and energy to make sure the final product not only functions as intended, but also is at a price that is affordable. We found that even after we completed development of our flagship product, the Ubbi nappy bin, and knew that it was going to be a breakthrough in the diaper disposal market, there were still sceptics as there had not been anything out there quite like this. With Ubbi, we truly created a different category for Nappy Bins as a whole. We had to carve out a space that most buyers and consumers didn’t initially know existed. We designed our Nappy Bin to be steel so it locks in odours which is a key shortfall of plastic. In addition, for both

WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES OF WORKING FOR YOURSELF?

HOW IS YOUR LABEL DIFFERENT TO OTHER SIMILAR LABELS? At Ubbi, we spend a great deal of time developing each and every product. The drawback of this is that sometimes it can take years for something to finally hit the market. Once it does though, we know that both the design and function of our products are truly

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The Awesome Ubbi Team different from what else is out there. It also doesn’t hurt that Tom is a mechanical engineer, which allows us to have clear grasp as to what can be done to make a product function better. Both Tom and Nadine are parents, so this is also a huge asset in understanding what solutions are missing out there to make life easier for today’s modern parents that are looking for functional – yet stylish baby essentials.

the experts so we make sure that we provide our customers with the best possible customer service. As mentioned earlier, our goal is to make parents’ life easier, not more complicated, so if a specific product falls short and doesn’t achieve this goal for whatever reason, we do everything we can to make it up to the customer which goes a long way.

HOW DO YOU MARKET THE LABEL?

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER PARENTS WANTING TO START THEIR OWN LABEL?

We do use the industry-standard marketing tools to market our brand and increase brand awareness such as trade fairs, consumer events and social media. However, because our products are innovative and eye catching, we do get a lot of attention from both media and parents worldwide which provides us with great exposure. We get a lot of editorial press and flying colour reviews from parents using our products, which we believe is better than any paid ad. We do believe in parents word-ofmouth because at the end of the day, they are

The best advice would be to be patient and to listen to the end user. As much as we want to turn all the ideas we have into products, it’s better to take the time that’s required to make something innovative, high design and functional rather than just come up with a bunch of useless products that are not very well thought out. The world of parents can be very overwhelming and time-consuming, so I would advise any other parents wanting to start their own label to respect that reality and try to only come up with products that make sense and are worth paying for. *

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IDEAS

WHAT WE LOVE ABOUT… Breastfeeding is the best start for a baby. Research shows that children who have been breastfed become sick less often than children who have not been breastfed. The main reason why many women stop feeding their baby breast milk is because expressing makes them feel uncomfortable, sitting there with bared breasts, secluded in a room or office and attached to a noisy breast pump, it can make a mum feel a bit like a cow. The Difrax BtoB breast pump is very unobtrusive when it is in use, because the breast shell is worn underneath the normal clothing, it is tucked away under the bra, allow-

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DIFRAX BREAST PUMP

ing mum to have her hands free. In addition, the BtoB breast pump hardly produces any sound and is easy to operate in any situation. To express your breast milk discreetly simply wear the breast shell under your clothing – so there is no need for you to undress – and place the breast pump with the S-bottle next to you, while expressing. The BtoB breast pump runs on mains current as well as on batteries and can therefore be used wherever you happen to be. This discreet breast pump can be used from birth and it is the perfect addition to any nursery. Available from www.exquira.com.au

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SHOPPING

TODDLER&BIG KIDS SNOOZE IN COMFORT Yondi is a specially designed travel pillow to keep kids snoozing in comfort wherever you go! The design cleverly includes a hidden magnet to hold the neck rest together, supporting the chin and stopping your child’s head rolling forward. Microbead filling forms a soft and supportive cushion. Extra cosy plush fabric for that comfy ‘blankie’ feeling. Available in 6 fun characters, $29.95 from traveluniverse.com.

RIDE ‘EM COWBOY Designed to be used as hand luggage, kids can pack Trunki ride-on luggage with all their favourite belongings whilst parents keep them in tow. Packed full of great features such as soft rubber trims, lockable catches, and horn grips for steering. All Trunkis come with a 5 year guarantee. RRP from $69.95. Available at David Jones.

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SKATE ABOUT

GLOBETROTTER

How awesome are these recycled timber Cruiser Skateboards by Tree Hugga? Made on the Gold Coast, they’re eco-friendly and a range of wheel colours are available. Priced at $199 for a 90cm size, head to treehugga.com.au.

Available in August, this inflatable Tiger Tribe Roly Poly Globe is $19.95 and comes in two colours – pink or blue. Designed for young children, the globe features brightly-coloured map illustrations along with special ballast weights at the bottom to ensure it always stays upright! Find yours and more fun toys at tigertribe.com.au.

WAYS TO SURVIVE PREGNANCY DURING SUMMER

Drink plenty of water. It might seem obvious, but the amniotic fluid is largely made up of water provided by the mother. When you’re carrying bub around in summer and sweating lots, you need to drink more than the usual 6 to 8 glasses per day. Carry a bottle of water with you and sip regularly. Go for lightweight and light-coloured clothing in breathable, natural fabrics like cotton. Singlets, caftans and maxi dresses or skirts, as well as open-toed shoes, are essentials. Don’t forget to protect your exposed skin with sunscreen.

There are plenty of creative ways to keep cool when you’re out and about, such as carrying a small umbrella to protect yourself from the sun. Handheld battery-operated fans are great too! Give the oven a break and prepare meals in a slow cooker. It’ll help keep your house cooler, it is simple and easy to use, and there are plenty of delicious recipes online. Submerge yourself in water as often as possible – lounge in the pool or visit the beach. Being in water also helps to alleviate pregnancy swelling. On extra-hot days you could also try an aquarobics class instead of doing cardio outside.

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TODDLER

Kindergarten Readiness THEY MAY BE ABLE TO DO SOME BASIC READING AND WRITING, BUT KINDERGARTEN IS ABOUT MUCH MORE THAN ACADEMICS.

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arents struggle every year to decide if their child is ready to take that first big step into formal education. Even in this day and age, when many children get their feet wet in preschool, not all kids are prepared for kindergarten. Before sending your child off to school, lunchbox in hand, think about what they’ll need to be successful. It’s not just about knowing their alphabet or being able to write their name. Age, social, motor, and academic skills should all play a part in your decision. As a parent, you are the best judge of whether or not your child is ready. Here are a few questions to ask yourself before signing your child’s name on the dotted line:

AGE When is your child’s birthday in relation to the school’s cutoff date? Will they be the youngest or the oldest in the class? Being the oldest is often seen as a positive because a child will be more mature both physically and mentally – potentially more prepared to read, more coordinated in sports and other physical activities, and more able to excel. This can enhance their self-esteem, confidence level, and allow them to be a leader. Being the youngest can have benefits, especially for gifted children, but otherwise, it can be overwhelming. Younger children may appear immature, and may be unprepared to tackle tasks that their older classmates find challenging and intriguing.

SOCIAL SKILLS Does your child use words when angry instead of being physical? Can he follow simple one- or two-step directions? Can she express her feelings and needs? Does she ask questions about the world around her? Can he play well with other children including sharing and taking turns? These qualities are all essential for children entering kindergarten. The ratio of students to teachers is lower than in preschool, so kids need to be able to properly

communicate, without the one-on-one guidance and intervention preschool often provides.

MOTOR SKILLS Can your child hold scissors properly? Hold a pencil correctly? Put a puzzle together? Can he run, skip, and jump? Can she button/unbutton her clothes? Can he throw a ball and pedal a bike? Gross motor skills have to do with big muscles – the ones that help kids on the playground. Fine motor skills are small muscle movements of the fingers that eventually translate into the ability to do school readiness activities. If your child can’t do these fine motor tasks, it means that they may have a harder time with the activities that typically occur in kindergarten classrooms – like art projects and learning to write.

ACADEMIC SKILLS Does your child tell stories? Can she count to 10 and recite the alphabet? Can she write both upper and lower case letters? Does he speak in sentences of five words or more? Can he retell the general storyline of a book that has been read to him? Can she recognize five colors? Can she write her name? Kindergarten will build upon these skills, but a child should enter with some of them already in place. Of course, no child is perfect at all things. And everyone develops at their own pace. But all of these issues play a part in kindergarten readiness. Ask yourself the questions and be honest with your answers. Still on the fence? Talk to someone! Many schools are more than willing to talk to you about your soon-to-be student – some even do readiness checks before school begins. Kindergarten is the first big step in a long line of formal learning. No one knows your child better than you do, so follow your gut and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Rest assured, teachers want your child to succeed just as much as you do!* september 2015 | mychild

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BIG KIDS

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Why kids need to read? LOUISE PARK TELLS US WHY FICTION PLAYS A CRITICAL ROLE IN FOSTERING WELLBEING, RESILIENCE AND EMPATHY IN CHILDREN

esearchers have finally found evidence of what we’ve all known for ages— that reading fiction improves a reader’s capacity to understand what others are thinking and feeling. Specifically, fiction that portrays dynamic characters that grow, change and develop emotionally and socially; fiction that explores the psychology of characters, their relationships, their motivations and actions, their emotions, their vulnerabilities, their warts and all. Narratives where main characters’ minds are not fully formed but rather ‘works in progress’ provide opportunity for readers to fill in the gaps, to reflect on characters’ feelings,

emotions, intentions and actions. They force readers to step into that world, into that character’s shoes, into their minds and hearts. This interaction and awareness stays with the reader long after the story’s end and goes with them into the real world, supporting them in their interactions with real children. These characters can teach readers vital values and understandings about social and emotional behaviour. Even better still, characters that implicitly model the characteristics of resilient children: effective conflict management skills, problemsolving techniques, friendship-building skills, positive thinking, growing independence, and

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big kids responsibility for one’s actions; can enable readers to further develop and maintain a healthy wellbeing and emotional resilience. Helping children develop healthy thinking habits is also critical to a sense of wellbeing and resilience. And when fiction portrays characters that ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’ through the course of their experiences: • How to keep things in perspective • How to face a hard and challenging moment and still have a go regardless • That they will and do make mistakes but that it doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the word • That things are sometimes not much fun and possibly incredibly frustrating but still need to be done • That working at something over and over to achieve it even though it might not be fun at all whilst you’re doing it, is necessary! • That it’s okay to get things wrong and that what’s important is learning from those situations • How to have a go at something new whilst still being true to myself; • Then fiction goes a long way in supporting and fostering lifelong emotionally resilient human beings. And we all want to raise emotionally resilient children because resilient children can pick themselves up and recover. They can persevere against the odds. They have a good social support network and know when to ask for help, advice or opinions. They learn from their mistakes and have a good sense of humour. They continually build and refine their problem-solving skills, and they value exploring hobbies, pastimes, passions and ‘me’ time. And if this isn’t enough to put those worthwhile fiction titles into your children’s hands then consider this: researchers have also found evidence that children who read for pleasure do better academically as well!

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Reading fiction is a win-win! To help your child get hooked on reading consider these top five tips for making lifelong readers: . Strive for that perfect match between reader and text. A book pitched perfectly to give a child reading confidence is a book that can be read with about 90% accuracy. Anything harder will more likely turn them off reading. One new word in every ten ensures comprehension, enjoyment, and further building of literacy skills and vocabulary. . If it grabs them and takes reading to them on their terms, it’s gold! Content is king. . At a young age, a book that is pleasing to the eye as well as the soul makes for a compelling read, and compelling reads make life-long readers. Consider the suitability of the format and the layout. Is your child drawn to the illustrations? . Try not to get caught up in other children’s reading abilities. It’s all about your child and their reading journey! .Read aloud to your child, read along with them, read with them. Stop and recap along the way. Ask questions about the story.

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Louise Park is the author of the Harriet Clare series. A unique fiction series for newly independent readers that hijacks the popular and compelling diary format to take the reader’s capacity to understand what others are thinking and feeling to a whole new level. A level where the reader become Harriet’s confidante and best friend and is asked to participate in the writing of her notebooks. Published by Hinkler books. To find out more go to: www.harrietclare.com.au

IDEAS

RRP $19.95

RRP $24.95

WHAT WE LOVE ABOUT… BAG IT! I don’t think anyone truly looks forward to travelling on a plane with children. There’s so much to remember to pack...spare clothes, extra food and the rest. So when you finally reach your destination the last thing you want to see when you hop off the plane is a grease stained pram or stroller. Thanks to JL Childress, their range of Gate Check Bags help protect your treasured pram or stroller or car seat from dirt and germs when checking it at the air plane gate.

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GATE CHECK BAGS

These handy, compact travel bags are made of a light weight, water-resistant fabric and feature reinforced seams for durability. We love that they are bright red color and have large graphics to identify the bag for return to the gate, fit easily, later stuff into their own little pouch for travelling convenience and have made a size for double strollers as well! Prices range from a very reasonable $19.95 to $24.95, great value for peace of mind that your stroller will be returned to the gate safely and

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BIG KIDS

Your Chil

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lds First Mobile Phone Plan THE TECHNOLOGY THAT IS AVAILABLE TO KIDS TODAY CAN BE OVERWHELMING —ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO DEVICES THAT KIDS CAN PUT IN THEIR BACKPACKS AND CARRY WITH THEM

rom tablets in the classroom to coding in the curriculum, there’s no denying technology is playing a crucial role in the development of children these days. Mobile devices are one of the key tools to introducing your little ones to technology and equipping them with the skills they need to keep up with their peers in this digitally-driven world. They’re also a great way to teach your kids the

value of money and the art of budgeting. As exciting as the milestone is, introducing your children to his or her first mobile plan can be daunting, difficult and downright confusing due to all the different options on the market. To help you find a kid-friendly mobile plan that meets your family budget, we here at amaysim have put together a cheatsheet for you.

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Big kids

CONTROL SPEND BY GOING PREPAID It’s one of the most common gripes of parents - one minute your child is happily playing Candy Crush; the next they’ve accidentally racked up a huge mobile bill from excess data usage charges. One of the best ways to prevent this from happening is with prepaid plan, which puts a hard limit on the amount of data your child can use. Because prepaid plans need credit on the account to use them, your kids can’t dig you into a bill shock hole you didn’t even know you were in until your monthly invoice arrives. Put simply, if there’s no credit on the account you can’t use the service. If your kids do end up using all of their prepaid credit and are nagging you for more, you may want to try negotiating more data for chores or better behaviour. This will encourage your kids to be more self-aware of their phone usage and help you keep the house clean – win, win. Prepaid really is the most manageable choice that offers ultimate budget control when it comes to choosing a mobile plan for your kids.

HOW MUCH DATA DO CHILDREN REALLY NEED? When buying your child’s first mobile, it’s all too easy to purchase a mobile plan that has unnecessary inclusions. For starters, if your child has never owned a mobile before, you won’t know what they’ll need included in their mobile plan. It’s easy to assume you can base their data needs on your own but the reality is, their usage will be completely different to yours. They’re hardly going to be using their data to upload photos of their spaghetti to Instagram or check into the local cafe on Facebook (and if they are, congratulations on having a digital prodigy!). That said, they might unwittingly plough through a shedload of data playing Minecraft

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or watching YouTube videos. The easiest way to find a mobile plan with the right amount of data for your child’s individual needs is with a data calculator. At amaysim we have one on our website to help parents like you find the most suitable plan. For example, you might want your child to have data included in their mobile plan for web browsing to help with schoolwork. However because most of their browsing will be done at home where they will be connected to WiFi, they’ll only need a small monthly data allowance. Data calculators help you predict how your child will be using their mobile, and suggests the best mobile plans from there - saving you money on data your child won’t even use. Here’s a tip – once you calculate how much data you think your child will need, add in a little bit more to be safe. On that note, don’t fall into the trap of signing a 24 month contract to get a ‘free’ phone. Either buy a cheap handset outright or give your kids a hand-me-down so you can change plans as you get more familiar with your family’s usage habits.

SHARED ACCOUNTS = PEACE OF MIND If you notice your child is strangely running out of data early in the month (even though you’ve signed them up to a suitable plan thanks data calculator!), being able to log in and monitor their usage from the same account you manage yours from can be a massive time and money saver. Managing your entire family’s mobile accounts through the one login makes easy work of checking that your kids haven’t accidentally turned off their WiFi or discovered the joys of YouTube. It also makes monthly payments quick and simple as you can pay your family mobile bills from the one place, making it easier to keep track of your budget. *

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HEALTH

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Wake up with a Kiwi! WHILE ZESPRI GOLD KIWIFRUIT HAS NUTRITIONAL BENEFITS THAT WOULD BENEFIT HEALTH AND FITNESS ENTHUSIASTS AND ALSO BEAUTY BENEFITS THAT INCLUDE SKIN REJUVENATION AND THE REMOVAL OF UNWANTED TOXINS – THE FRUIT CAN ALSO BE EXTREMELY BENEFICIAL FOR WOMEN LOOKING TO CONCEIVE!

iwifruits are a great way to start the day as one of the world’s most nutrient-rich fruits. They offer a veritable goldmine of nutrients including fibre, potassium, vitamin E and folate. Your biggest breakfast boost comes however from their very high vitamin C levels; Zespri® Kiwifruits contain 100% of our daily needs in just one piece. Research has shown that this high vitamin C content can help decrease feelings of fatigue and increase physical and mental energy, making them a great way to

kick-start your day. Accredited Practising Dietitian Geraldine Georgeou says: “The nutritional benefits of this Zespri® range make it truly worth its weight in gold. They offer a serious breakfast boost, with an army of nutrients other fruits could only dream of – in fact there’s twenty nutrients and minerals in each piece. Zespri® Gold Kiwifruits also contain actinidin, a protease enzyme unique to kiwifruits which helps us digest several food proteins, including those found in meat, milk, legumes and cereal.”

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dads Pulp fiction Contrary to popular belief, kiwifruits have three times more vitamin C than oranges (bite vs. bite). This gives your complexion and immune system the extra boost that it needs!

sources for lutein and zeaxanthin – antioxidants that protect the eyes from the sunlight’s harmful ultraviolet rays. Kiwifruits rank even higher in lutein content than spinach.

Wholly guacamole Like kiwifruits, avocado are one of the most vitamin-packed fruits around. However, while each avocado contains two grams of saturated (undesirable) fat, kiwifruits are completely fat free.

Did you know? The fruit was named after its uncanny resemblance to the fuzzy brown kiwi – New Zealand’s national bird

A soft touch too soon? Kiwifruits are great in salads but should always be added last and just before consumption. Kiwifruits contain enzymes that act as food tenderizers. It can cause the other ingredients to become too soft, but it can also break down proteins and help to speed up your digestion! Sleep well Consumption of two kiwifruits an hour before bedtime will help you fall asleep quicker, sleep more soundly and feel better rested when you wake up in the morning. Healthy mums and healthy babies Since kiwifruits contain up to 10% of recommended daily folate levels, pregnant ladies are encouraged to consume them for healthier babies! A fitness fruit that works out for you If you’re a fitness buff, here’s something you need to try! Kiwifruits contain enzymes that aid protein absorption by breaking down nutrients so they can be delivered to your tired muscles. Have them straight after your postworkout protein shakes! Popeye needs a new diet Spinach is one of the best natural food for

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Skin food for thought Among health and beauty junkies, kiwifruits are popular ingredients in DIY face masks. Rich in alpha hyrdroxy fruit acids, vitamins C, E and K. Kiwis are ideal for exfoliating, nourishing and anti-ageing. Where from? The kiwifruit originated from China and was initially called the ‘Chinese Gooseberry’. The name was later changed due to the fruit’s historic name being negatively associated with the cold war Say no to long distance relationships Kiwifruit plants are dioecious, meaning that the ‘male’ and ‘female’ flowers are found on different plants. Both male and female plants must be in close proximity for the female plant to bear fruit. Self-fruiting ‘males’ are also known to exist but produce less desirable kiwifruits. Kiwifruit Casanovas Male kiwifruits can pollinate up to eight female vines. Home tip for the working you Storing the kiwifruits in a paper bag with an apple, banana or pear helps to speed up the kiwifruits’ ripening process. Ripe kiwifruits should then be stored either at room temperature or in the refrigerator. Try it to believe it! What’s the scoop?

The ‘spife’, half spoon and half knife, is a cut above the rest. ‘Spifing’ describes the act of slicing and scooping the kiwifruit, the most convenient way to consume kiwifruits on the go. How Zespri Gold Kiwifruit can help to boost chances of conceiving and can assist in improving fertility: •

•

LOW G.I.: Adopting a healthy lifestyle that includes a low Glycaemic Index carbohydrates, balanced proteins and low fat foods rich in essential nutrients like folate, combined with regular exercise and focus on a ‘health weight’ could help to promote fertility in women trying to conceive. Zespri Gold Kiwifruit is a low G.I. food that is low fat and a rich source of folate VITAMIN C: Zespri Gold Kiwifruit contains three times more Vit-C than oranges (on same weight basis) and contains 100% of your daily needs in one serve. The flu-fighter vitamin also wards off the effects of stress – and as we know – less stress = higher chances of falling pregnant ACTINIDAIN: This is a digestive enzyme unique to Kiwifruit, which aids the digestion of foods after meals and can help to keep you regular. It helps to break down proteins and relieves that bloated feeling (which you’ll definitely appreciate once you do fall pregnant!!!) FOLATE: Kiwifruit contains 10% of the recommended daily folate value, vital for the health of a mother and child during pregnancy, and for the prevention of birth defects ZINC: Don’t forget about your partner (who plays a very important role in conceiving!) – Zinc is great for men as it helps to produce testosterone*

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The greatest thing a FATHER can do to his children, is to love their mother. - Anjaneth Garcia Untalan

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