Insight
Issue 6
•
February 2012
A little sulfur with
Your Meal?
Chemical Processing + Fast Food
Improving your financial future:
the Top 5
Credit Repair Tips Community Spotlight:
Allen Genkin
What does the internet look like
Mapped Out?
A Peek into PR with
Jen Sherlock
Grammy
Predictions
how love affects the
Heart
Dress to Impress:
Valentine’s day date looks
See Inside for Prizes! Februar 2012•Insight 1
editor’s desk
I
’ve found that no one has lukewarm feelings towards Valentines Day. Generally, people either love it or hate it. On the love it side are usually those people that are partnered up and in looooove (the extra “o’s” were necessary for this is the special extra “o” kind of love). On the hate it side are usually those people that aren’t in love with the extra “o’s,” that have had bad Valentines Days in the past, or just aren’t holiday types of people. It does take a certain kind of mentality to join in all the hoopla and a certain kind of strength to walk into those pink minefields known as Hallmark stores on the 14th. But, what the day represents is something that no one, on either side of the fence, should shy away from. Obviously, I don’t mean the Catholic commemoration of one or more martyred Saint Valentines (with no connection to the whole love thing) – even though that is the actual purpose of the
day. Nor do I mean the commercial Valentines Day where you buy every one of your co-workers a candy heart and break your bank to take your date to an overpriced restaurant because you have to. I mean, in the pure principle of it, it’s not so bad to have a day that you’re forced to remember that you don’t live alone in your stressed, over-worked, busy lives and that you should always share some part of your happiness and care with someone. No question about it, we’d all be happier and probably healthier if we took this emotional pause all 365 days a year; but, let’s be realistic – no one has the time for that (sadly). So, why not use Valentines Day as an emotional alarm clock that makes you wake up from the tedious, the mundane and the monotonous. Use the day to share your love and your happiness with someone you care about in your life. You’re worth it and so are they. —Maria
Readers Respond to our January Issue “I love your new Dress to Impress section, it helped me find a designer styled outfit for cheap and it showed me where to shop in the area! Thank you Insight!” —Jessica, 23, Northern Liberties
“I don’t wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.”
“Your top careers article definitely helped me figure out my next steps. I was going into a field that was not going to help me make a good living, with your help I am now going into a stable field and can finally pay off my school loans.” —Robert, Feasterville
—Javan
“ I think that all those products that are supposed to “mimic” botox, like the one in your “Botox: No Needles Necessary” article, are all a sham. They’re lotions! I think these types of products (and even botox itself) are about allowing people to deceive themselves so that they can feel happy, more so than about a youthful appearance.” —Craig, Philadelphia See your comment? Follow instructions on pg. 3 to win prizes! Respond to our February issue on our website (myinsightmag.com),
Our Team:
Maria Goroshovsky Co-Founder/Editor “Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justified?”
Luba Patlakh Editorial Director “Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
Angele Douglas Russell Contributing Writer “No one is entitled to an opinion unless they know the facts.”
Olga Astreika Contributing Writer “My goal in life is to help people and have them happy.”
Alla Podolsky Graphic Designer “I am not that creative with words. Can I offer you a picture instead?”
Want to advertise in Insight? Visit myinsightmag.com to learn how. 2 Insight•February 2012
David Vulfin Marketing Director “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”
Insight In This Issue:
Editor’s Desk 2 Letter from the Editor Readers Respond to our January Issue Word on the Street 4 Putin’s Push Are Kids Raised in the City More Independent than Those Raised in the Burbs? 5 Growing Philadelphia 6 Ph-un V-Day in Philadelphia 7 Community Spotlight: Allen Genkin 8 A Peek into PR with Jen Sherlock, Jenna Communications Economy in Ruins. Mall Still Full Feature 9 How Love Affects the Heart Healthy Living 10 Zumba: Not Your Ordinary Aerobics Class! Why Gaining Weight for Gastric Bypass Surgery is a Bad Idea 11 A Little Sulfur with your Meal? Chemical Processing + Fast Food
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Issue 6 • February 2012 Entertainment and Lifestyle 12 Top Five Reasons to go to the Movies in February 13 Grammy Predictions Celebrity Couples that Beat the Odds How to Handle a Run-in with an Ex 14 Should You Put a Ring on It? Getting Engaged on Valentine’s Day (or Any Day) Say “Ah!”: Spa Review. 24K Gold Facial 15 Eat Good Food: Valanni Conversation Starters Insight Poll 16 Dress to Impress: Valentine’s Day Date Looks Sports and Athletics 17 Pole Dancing Could Soon Be an Olympic Sport 2012 London Olympic Budget Doubled February Philadelphia Sixers Basketball and Philadelphia Flyers Hockey Schedule
Career and Finance 18 Improving Your Financial Future: Financial Resolutions Group President, Michael Cher, shares the Top Five Credit Repair Tips Technology Today 19 Apple Rumored to Buy Anobit Hybrid Car Safer in Accidents, Dangerous to Pedestrians What Does the Internet Look Like Mapped Out? A Dose of Insight 20 Insight Advice Column Relax and Play 21 Sudoku Wordsearch 22 Photohunt! February Horoscopes Marketplace 23 Advertisement
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Prizes and Rewards! We at Insight want to hear from all of our new and old friends! Send us an email and write to us on Facebook. Let us know what you think, what you want, or just how your day is going and get rewards for doing it! Your Monthly Reward: Insight will look through all our email, as well as Facebook comments, messages and posts. We will select five comments, at random, to include in the upcoming issue. If you see your post, contact us with the post, the issue you saw it in, and your information within one week of the release of that issue and YOU WIN! What do you win? Well, every issue we will post our ‘Favorite Things.’ These are little things that are new, cool and we feel everyone will enjoy. When you win the post challenge, you get to pick one of our ‘Favorite Things’ from that issue and it’s yours! If, instead, you want to work towards our bigger “Play for Points” prizes, you can instead ask to add five points to your play for points account (see myinsightmag.com for more details). So, what are you waiting for! Come leave us a message!
Play for Points:
We don’t want to be another magazine you gloss over in a hurry; we want to really interact with you in every section and page of Insight. In our attempt to really get you involved, we’ve set up a points game. Throughout the magazine you’ll see small sections that say “Play for Points.” Each section will have its own instruction on how you can email or Facebook us your answers or contributions and earn points. You can log in and keep a ‘point account,’ so to speak, on myinsightmag.com. You then can add up points to win the prizes that cost a point value ranging from 50 to 1,000 points. So earn enough points for a $20 gift card, or save as much as you can for a five day paid hotel in Miami, FL, or a new iPAD. See myinsightmag.com for even more prizes, your account and more information!
YEP! Here’s 20 extra Bucks just for being 1you$20! … and of course for being a wonderful reader Insight magazine!
Hungry? Why wait? Have some Subway, 2onSubway! Insight!
Target! … a store where 3Happy you can find EVERYTHING! Shopping! Februar 2012•Insight 3
PUSH
PUTIN’S
Word on the Street
V
ladimir Putin stands one month from Russia’s Presidential Elections. Putin, who served as president from 2000 to 2008 now seeks the title again after one term as Russia’s Prime Minster. For many, his victory is a certainty. For those that have taken to the streets over the past few months, it is a travesty. Russians that are individually financially secure enough to live a normal daily life and take care of their families have long had a blasé, inconsequential attitude towards who stands at the head of their government. The comfortable, and even the semi-comfortable, were never the outspoken ones. Nor are they now. However, after the 4 December 2011 parliamentary elections in which Putin’s “United Russia” party took just under 50% of the votes the youth and the “uncomfortable” have taken to the streets in protests scattered across some of the country’s biggest cities. Anyone with a flip-phone posted ballot stuffing videos on YouTube and even Hilary Clinton spoke out against the Russian people’s lack of access to a transparent democracy. This did not go over very well with Putin, who put down Clinton publically and specifically (not just the West, in general). The protesters are tired of corruption, they chant through the streets. They are just trying to cause turmoil and instability before the elections, argued Putin, who says that there is no unified protest, just different complaints in different areas that don’t amount to a defeat for him at the polls. By his words, Putin seemed unmoved. However, other actions make it seem that Russia’s Paramount leader is worried and ready to make changes to the tight system that he’s constructed since his first term. It was announced in late December that Vladislav Y. Surkov, the “gray cardinal” who has overseen Russia’s domestic political scene for more than a decade would be reassigned. And, that was just the beginning of key changes. The unsteadiness in the government and country is evident. If Putin does succeed in gaining the presidency for his third term, he will most certainly be filling the position in a much different atmosphere than he has before.
4 Insight•February 2012
Are kids raised in the city
More Independent
W
than those raised in the burbs?
here to raise a child is a BIG decision which plays a major role for many young couples shopping around to buy a home. So, what’s best: City or Suburbs? The matter is not likely to be resolved by this one article—or ever— as opinions vary wildly across the board. But, just to add some fuel to the fire: we’ve found studies that show children raised in an urban setting became more responsible as they grow up, due to the “hustle and bustle” environment they’re exposed to. The study goes on to say that such city kids tend to, as an aggregate, become more “worldly” and “street smart”. Many aspects of city life engage a child’s cognitive skills and problem solving mentality—as simple as figuring out the lights when to cross the street, understanding the grid like layout of the city and other exposure to all types of ethnicities, languages, events, and problems. A child’s mental processors are constantly engaged in this type of environment, which benefits them as they age into mature adults. The suburbs, on the other hand, are found deficient in these exact qualities that make the city mentally stimulating. Moreover, the studies show that children of the suburbs tend to be coddled more, watched after intensely and insulated from certain experiences that are, by design, meant to make them stronger. Of course, there are studies and arguments to the contrary—which is why this is one of those eternally contentious subjects. Many, for instance, argue that the distinction is irrelevant and that a child’s mental capacities and upbringing depend almost exclusively on the type of parenting one does. These arguments suggest that even “city kids” can be insulated, untrusted and cloistered in from the world. The debate rages on.
P
hiladelphia’s been on a mission in this new century to build, expand and beautify, this year is no exception, as there are endless projects breaking ground guaranteed to improve our city—schooling, apartment buildings, an addition to the airport, etc. Now, like we said, there are dozens of developments! Google obviously has the scoop on ALL of them. But, we, our dear readers, will give you the scoop on the best of them—the coolest ones that you really want to know about!
GROWING
PHILADELPHIA
Major Construction Begins For Hotel Monaco, Opening 2012 on Independence Mall FACT: In this not-so-friendly economic climate, not many of us get to actually go to Monaco and gamble kagillions of dollars while looking like James Bond. FACT: We won’t have to go anywhere but downtown to feel just a bit fancier than usual once the Hotel Monaco – with all the flare that its name connotes – will be built at 5th and Chestnut, overlooking the Liberty Bell, in Philadelphia’s historic Lafayette Building. It’ll be a 268 room, 11-story structure with a 125-seat restaurant and a rooftop lounge fitting over 300 people! Snazzy! New Building to be added to the Franklin Institute, Construction starting Spring 2012 Thank you Nicholas and Athena Karabots, who gave $10 million – the largest individual gift EVER – to the Institute, enabling them to construct this new building (properly named, the “Nicholas and Athena Karabots Pavilion”). We’ve all been to the Institute because it’s pretty awesome. Now, we’ll get 53,000 square feet more of awesome with the new building, adjacent to the Benjamin Franklin National Memorial. It will house multi-purpose and classroom space that will help with child education and other community activities. Philadelphia International Airport Terminal Expansion, to be completed September 2012. TERMINAL D-E EXPANSION Airport travel sucks! Enough said! Any work done to make it easier is good by us. Since running between terminals to try to find (let alone catch) your connecting flight is NEVER easy, this will probably help: a $341 million project consisting of a new multi-level connector building between Terminals D and E, a 50,000 square foot addition to the Terminal E concourse, a 9000 square foot connector building between Baggage Claims D and E, and various renovations to areas within the two terminals and the adjacent Satellite Thermal Plant.
ning this spring.
Louise Reed Center for Dance to include new School of Pennsylvania Ballet opening Fall 2012 The PA Ballet takes a momentous step with the unveiling of its future home on the Avenue of the Arts. The Louise Reed Center for Dance, a state-of-the-art facility to be located at 321 North Broad Street in Philadelphia, will house the Company’s studios and offices, as well as, a new School of Pennsylvania Ballet. Phase I of the project, scheduled for completion by Fall 2012, will include the construction of four ballet studios and locker rooms for use by both the professional dancers and school students, complete with a green roof. The School of Pennsylvania Ballet will open in Fall 2012, with enrollment begin-
New 33 storey high-rise on the 2100 block of Chestnut St. John Buck Co. of Chicago plans to break ground on the 35 storey Buck Tower apartments on the site of the Sidney Hillman Medical Center. The new high rise building can be compared to other luxury properties in Philadelphia like 1706 Rittenhouse. This will be an exciting contribution to our skyline in a time of economic uncertainty.
Want to advertise in Insight? Visit myinsightmag.com to learn how. Februar 2012•Insight 5
Ph-un V-DAY
in Philadelphia!
Philadelphia’s celebrating LOVE in February. My Insight magazine is here to make sure you and your Valentine have a grand ole’ time!! Check out these restaurant and date ideas. SPECIAL EVENINGS Top of the Tower. Celebrate a romantic evening 50 floors above Center City during Valentine’s Day at the Top of the Tower. Enjoy stunning views, exquisite gourmet food and entertainment by Eddie Bruce on Valentine’s Eve – Sunday, February, 13. For $270 per couple, you can enjoy cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, gourmet dinner stations, a dessert buffet live jazz and on site parking. (215) 567-8787. 51st Floor, Three Logan Square, 1717 Arch Street.
DINING DELIGHTS Adsum. Celebrate Valentine’s Day weekend (Saturday, February 12 – Monday, February 14) with a special $45 four-course Valentine’s Day Menu created by Chef Matt Levin. Add a wine pairing to your romantic meal for $20 per person. 700 South 5th Street. (267) 888-7002. Barbuzzo. You’ll surely empress your date during Barbuzzo’s special four-course Valentine’s Day prix fixe dinner for $55 per person. The Midtown Village hotspot will be serving a romantic selection of Mediterranean-inspired cuisine. Barbuzzo’s infamous salted caramel budio will be available for dessert. Reservations are strongly recommended. 110 S 13th Street. (215) 546-9300. Chifa. For $65 per person, couples can enjoy a four-course tasting menu created by Chef Jose Garces available Friday, February 11–Monday, February 14. The classic a la carte menu of Latin-Asian small plates will also be available. 707 Chestnut Street. (215) 925-5555. Cuba Libre. Get a “Taste of Romance” with a special menu of 18 “tastes” of Chef Cuillermo Pernot’s Cuban fare for $39 per person (available Saturday, February 12–Monday, February 14). Early birds can dine on the Latin Lovers’ Brunch, a five-course brunch served every Saturday and Sunday in February for $25 per person. 102 South 2nd Street. (215) 627-0666. Distrito. On Sunday, February 13 and Monday, February 14, guests can choose between special $50 and $60 Tasting Menus, created by Chef Garces or the classic a la carte menu of modern Mexican small plates. 3945 Chestnut Street. (215) 222-1657 Granite Hill Restaurant. Take your Valentine out for a romantic evening at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Relax in style during Art After 5 on Friday, February 11 before enjoying Granite Hill’s $35 per person Valentine’s Day prix fixe menu. 2600 Benjamin Franklin Parkway. (215) 684-7990. Liberté. Chef Kevin Levett is creating a special $45 three-course Valentine’s Day Menu complimented by two special holiday cocktails concocted by acclaimed mixologist Marc Yanga. 120 South 17th Street. (215) 569-8300. Lolita. On Valentine’s Day (Monday, February 14) couples can choose from a variety of modern Mexican dishes available in a $45 per person, three-course Valentine’s Day Menu created by Chef Marcie Turney. 106 South 13th Street. (215) 546-7100. London Grill. For $22.22 per person, dine on a Valentine’s Day Brunch Buffet and get creative with London Grill’s Build-YourOwn Bloody Marys. 2301 Fairmount Avenue. (215) 978-4545. MidAtlantic Restaurant & Tap Room. Celebrate the love with weekend drink and dinner specials from Chef Daniel Stern. Sip on a special firkin of chocolate and cherry porter from Stoudt’s Brewery, enjoy all-night happy hour drink specials and share a meal with your Valentine. 3711 Market Street. (215) 386-3711. Square 1682. Warm up this Valentine’s Day with a special five-course meal from Executive Chef Guillermo Tellez. Menu highlights include Belon oysters, truffles and duck-leg confit. $65 per person. 121 South 17th Street. (215) 563-5006. Village Belle. On Monday, February 14, guests can enjoy a special $45 four-course Valentine’s Day Menu, created by Chef Lou Campanaro. An optional $25 wine pairing will also be offered. 757 South Front Street. (215) 551-2200.
6 Insight•February 2012
Allen Genkin
“
Follow your dreams; don’t listen to anyone who told you that you can’t become something. I was told that once and look where I am now.” Those are the wise words of Allen Genkin, a young man with a very bold story. Talent, courage, and achievement, are three words that help define a young adult who has overcome many obstacles in his life. 21 year old Allen Genkin, who currently resides in Philadelphia, PA, was born on June 24, 1990. Allen’s family left Philadelphia for Los Angeles, when he was just a young boy. For the majority of his life Allen was active on an ice hockey team and focused on ballroom dancing, competing and winning recognition throughout the U.S. At the age of 15 Allen’s life took its first unexpected turn, when his mother tragically drowned while away on vacation. This turn of events in his life changed everything for Allen including where he was going to live and how dedicated he would become to dance and success. Allen and his sister Ester moved to Philadelphia to live with their immediate family. After his move, Allen began training intensely and looking for new dance partners. He did not waste any time and once settled, he began his journey to stardom. He was quickly recognized for his rhythmic movements, toned physique, and outstanding looks. Allen won many awards and began training with professional dance instructors in New York City. Today Allen is represented by a top agent in New York, who is helping him pursue his dreams of acting, modeling, and dance. To the outside eye, Allen’s achievements were starting up the engine on his road to stardom; he was well on his way, when life threw another curve ball at him. Allen was diagnosed with cancer at just 19 years old. He went
Februar 2012•Insight 7
Photos by G. Alexander
Community Spotlight
through Chemotherapy, losing all of his hair and strength. With the support of his family and friends, he got through chemo with an open mind and positive spirit. Though Allen suffered through his illness, he kept his head above ground and recovered quickly- training in the studio and working out as soon as he was able. Allen’s dedication to fitness and love of dancing quickly landed him a spot on a Dancing with the stars inspired show called “Ballroom Battle,” which is scheduled to air on ABC spring 2012. “All the difficult times in my life have not only made me a stronger person, but have also taught me to stay positive through everything and anything,” he said. In five years, this ambitious young man hopes to be a professional on Dancing with the Stars and a dance studio owner on the East and West coasts. Allen’s goals also include more modeling and acting roles that allow him to show off his dancing abilities. We had to ask Allen what it was like working with some of the top people in the business? He pleasantly replied “It was amazing, they are such influential people and I look up to them and their criticism, but in general, they were just genuinely sweet people.” If there is anyone who deserves fame, recognition, and a chance to fulfill all of his passions, Allen Genkin is it. Allen’s story should be an inspiration to all. Regardless of his fate in life, Allen took and continues to take every chance he has in order to push through and make a success of himself. His love of dance and life helped him focus on getting better and beating his illness. Today, Allen is a cancer survivor; he continues to work hard and proudly demonstrates his contagious enthusiasm and endless drive.
I: How did you get started in PR? JS: I started as a TV reporter, working in Atlantic City, Harrisburg, and Philadelphia at NBC, Fox, Comcast SportsNet, and CW affiliates. I made the switch to PR after meeting my old boss at a media conference in NYC. I interviewed him on a new venture he was starting and when I returned home I received a message from one of his colleagues asking me to come in for an interview to do their PR. It was an amazing opportunity, so I took it and have never looked back since.
A Peek into PR
Jen Sherlock, with
Q: What’s your favorite thing about the PR industry? A: People. I get to go to events frequently and engage with people on a daily basis through my work. I try to listen to people and learn from them. I find that you can take something away from everyone you meet—that this is what helps push you forward (especially in PR). Q: If you had any tips for start-up companies, what would you tell them? How can they get out there? A: Don’t be afraid. You need to risk to succeed. But, risk does not mean reckless. Start a business plan at a local small business development center and learn every step about starting a business before actually doing it. I created my first business plan at the Wharton Small Business Development Center, and I think this greatly helped me. Also, it is important to have people to help you through this. I have always had mentors along the way that have helped me with my business plan, to set up office space, taught me about accounting for my business, and more. I think it helps to listen to as many people as possible within your field and learn from their experiences.
Q: What is your proudest achievement? A: My proudest achievement is Jenna Communications LLC, my own PR company. It’s something that I have created and I’ve made it a success thus far. I’m hoping only more achievements are ahead for me. I have a great team of interns lined up for 2012. I will also have my first full-time employee starting this year. And, I’m hoping that will eventually lead to multiple employees and, ultimately, an even bigger client base. I held my first annual company holiday Christmas party. It’s little things like that, about watching my business grow, that make me proud.
ECONOMY IN RUINS
Mall Still Full
What’s that sound? No, not the mass protests and presidential criticisms over unemployment, the other sound; that swiping noise that all those credit cards are still making in unprecedented amounts across the country. The financial crisis has been the “worst since the great depression” but while it’s made us all louder it hasn’t actually deterred all that much spending. Case in point: this past year’s black Friday and Cyber Monday were some of the biggest we’ve ever had—EVER. As of October 2011 the PA unemployment rate was at 8.1% and rising, though our malls are still packed! It’s so hard to find a parking spot that “sometimes you pull up to a mall of shopping plaza and wonder if the stores are giving away items for free,” says Angela Porter. However, many argue that while it’s counter-intuitive to go out and spend while screaming about being broke, we should not actually try to stop the spending. Essentially, there are two different approaches being argued on the deck of this Titanic about how to steer the ship. One totes the need for austerity measures (holding onto the purse strings) and the other says we need to spend to stimulate again. Adherents of the latter—your “new dealers” and capitalists—say that austerity measures will bring the country and its economy to a standstill. While, on an individual level, no one should spend themselves under a pile of un-payable bills, neither should they shy away from carrying on those purchases they need, want and can make because, on a national level, that is what will fuel the economic engine. 8 Insight•February 2012
the Heart
How Love Affects LOVE
is the word in February, as we celebrate Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s day, known to us as a day expressed through chocolates, snoopy, candy hearts, “Valentines” a.k.a. greeting cards, teddy bears, weekend releases of countless romantic comedies, and roses. This holiday is pink, hallmark and fluffy. The love that the day celebrates, however, is meant to be deeper and more meaningful. Love can be defined as a “tender, passionate affection and a strong personal liking”—something most parties in relationships express regularly. Love is pretty and poetic and deserving of a day all onto itself, but perhaps not because of its health benefits. Love is the most profound emotion known to human heart—an organ which, as you may suspect, plays an important role in our emotional experiences. Ironically enough, people with the longest life spans happen to be single women. A study done at the University of Michigan, by social psychologist Ethan Kross, shows that powerfully inducing feelings of distress in relationships activate regions of the brain also involved in the sensation of physical pain, while those same brain regions are rarely activated in neuroimaging studies of emotion. Love, when in good standing is a warm addition to ones heart and soul and as things typically
“
By Luba Patlakh
Love is like oxygen, you get too much you get too high, Not enough and you’re gonna die, love gets you high.” —Blue Oyster Cult
go, two people become addicted and obsessed over one another, which causes a quick flip of a switch to pain and dismay, should something go wrong. This type of flip causes trauma to your heart, which in turn creates pain throughout ones full well being. As Archie Brodsky said in Love and Addiction: “As with heroin and its irrecoverable euphoria, or cigarettes smoked in routine excess, something initially sought for pleasure is held more tightly after it ceases to provide enjoyment. Now it is being maintained for negative rather than positive reasons. The love partner must be there in order to satisfy a deep, aching need, or else the addict begins to feel withdrawal pain. His emotional security is so dependent on this other individual around whom he has organized his life, that to be deprived of the lover would be an utter shock to the system of his existence. For as with heroin and other addictions, it is traumatic for addict lovers to re-enter the broader world with which they have lost touch.”
Februar 2012•Insight 9
Healthy Living A
s a Zumba-ite! I fell in love with this fun form of exercise after giving it a shot at my (then) local gym. There I was in a room full of people of all ethnicities, ages, sizes, and shapes; little did I know we would be laughing together at ourselves through the entire hour! For those two or three people out there not familiar with Zumba Fitness, it is a dance-based exercise, which combines over thirteen different dance styles for a moderately paced 1-hour workout. Founded in 1986 in South America, it is the largest fitness program in the world, boasting over four million loyal clients in over forty countries and 25000+ instructors. The coolest thing about Zumba is that you burn so many calories while having fun. Some clients have reported burning up to 1300 calories during a single session, compared to an average of 500 calories in a normal aerobic session. And don’t worry if you have no rhythm; chances are that you aren’t the only one. The choreography is relatively simple and easy to catch on to. The point is to just feel the music! So, the next time you feel like shaking your groove thing and want to burn calories as well, check out your local gym to see if they offer Zumba and shake your boogie!
Not Your Ordinary Aerobics Class!
Why Gaining Weight for Gastric Bypass Surgery is a BAD IDEA!
T
rust me. As someone who has personally struggled with weight loss almost my entire life, I once thought (a few times), “If I just gain enough weight, I can have gastric bypass and all of my problems will be solved!” Gaining more of a problem (e.g. smoking more cigarettes or overeating more), to fix the problem, never really works for anyone. That’s almost like dousing more gasoline on a fire to put it out. Despite logical reasoning, many people consider gaining weight to qualify for gastric bypass surgery as an easy way out of their weight problems. However, Carnie Wilson and countless others can tell you that changing your daily lifestyle habits works better than any weight loss surgery and, without a change in lifestyle; weight loss surgery just becomes an unnecessary nuisance. This is not even considering the possible fatal complications resulting from the surgery itself. In other words, you would’ve done “all that” for nothing. Personally, I know many people who have been successful with the surgery but these people were morbidly obese, had tried EVERYTHING, and had possible life threatening conditions that could only be remedied by the surgery. If you don’t qualify, take it as a challenge to change your eating and lifestyle habits, in earnest, first. Take the challenge NOW … your life is worth it!
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FREE DELIVERY
A Little Sulfur with Your Meal?
I
Chemical Processing + Fast Food
t’s lunchtime. You go to the local fast food restaurant and order a burger and fries (with a diet soda because you have to save calories somehow, right?). If you think all you had was beef, a bun, cheese, and fried cut potatoes, think again. That simple meal contains a list of dozens of not so simple ingredients, mostly preservatives, some of which you would never ingest if presented alone. Here is a quick list of the top ingredients used by top fast food chains. Take a peek and decide if you think it’s a good idea to bring lunch from home next time: Sulfur Dioxide: Ever notice the coloring of your fries and how they are never discolored like the fries you make at home? Thank that to the sulfur dioxide used in the bleaching process. The popular ingredient is also used as a refrigerant and to bleach other products such as paper and clothes. Propylene Glycol: Getting a salad to be safe? Get ready to ingest propylene glycol, the same ingredient in deodorant, antifreeze and insect killing agents. This agent is used commonly in salads to preserve the color and flavor. Dimethylpolysiloxane: Can you even pronounce that? Well, if you’ve ever downed a chicken nugget, you’ve eaten it. Dimethylpolysiloxane is an anti-foaming agent containing silicone. In addition to “chicken nuggets”, the product is also responsible for silly putty, shampoo, caulk, and tiles for floors. So, the next time you pull up to the drive-thru window, count on getting more than you are asking for and don’t forget your diet soda!
Quick Health Fact! Seafood is the best natural source of Omega-3 fatty acids. One serving of fatty fish per week can reduce the risk of cardiac arrest by 50 to 70 percent.
Februar 2012•Insight 11
Entertainment & Lifestyle Top Five Reasons to go to the Movies in February
1
2/3—3 The Woman in Black Daniel Radcliffe stars as a young lawyer that travels to a remote village, where he discovers the vengeful ghost of a scorner woman is terrorizing the locals.
2
2/10— Safe House Denzel Washington plays the most dangerous renegade
from the CIA who suddenly appears after a decade on the run. When the South African safe house he’s remanded to is attacked by mercenaries, a rookie operative (Ryan Reynolds) escapes with him. Now, the unlikely allies must stay alive long enough to uncover who wants them dead—terrorists or someone on the inside?
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2/14— The Vow In the latest Nicholas Sparks book turned theatrical release, Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum play a husband and wife who get into a car accident, leaving McAdams without her memory. Now, Tatum must make his wife fall in love with him all over again.
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2/24—Wanderlust In this raucous comedy from director David Wain (“Role Models”) and producer Judd Apatow (“Knocked Up”), Paul Rudd and Jennifer Anniston star as a overextended, stressed out Manhattan couple who leaves the pressures of the big city and joins a freewheeling community where the only rule is to be yourself.
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2/24—Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds A successful, wealthy businessman, Wesley Deeds (Tyler Perry) has always done what’s expected of him, whether it’s assuming the helm of his father’s company or planning to marry his beautiful but restless fiancee, Natalie THE LUXURY LIFESTYLE (Gabrielle Union). But Wesley A dedication to fulfilling my clients’ wishes and a passion for the is jolted out of his predictable Philadelphia landscape give me an edge in the world of real estate that routine when he meets Lindsey places my clients second-to-none. So please allow me to fulfill your real (Thandie Newton), a down-onestate dreams, as well as the opportunity to go above and beyond to her-luck single mother who exceed your expectations. works as a cleaning person in his Jason Kravitz office building. Realtor Licensed in PA & NJ
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12 Insight•February 2012
Grammy PREDICTIONS A
ward season continues! Last month we had the Golden Globes, this month we’ve got the Oscars and the Grammys. February 12, 2012 is the 54th Grammy Awards—dubbed “music’s biggest night.” While we want to scream “Adele” as every category winner, obviously 2011 has been a good year in music. Who do you think will win some of the Grammy’s top titles? Submit who you think will win these top categories through your myinsightmag.com account or via email to insight@myinsightmag.com to earn a point for every correct prediction!
SONG OF THE YEAR q “All of the Lights,” performed by Kanye West, Rihanna, Kid Cudi, and Fergie q “The Cave,” performed by Mumford and Sons q “Grenade,” performed by Bruno Mars q “Hologene,” performed by Bon Iver q “Rolling in the Deep,” performed by Adele ALBUM OF THE YEAR q 21, Adele q Wasting Light, Foo Fighters q Born This Way, Lady Gaga q Doo-Wops and Hooligans, Bruno Mars q Loud, Rihanna BEST COMPILATION SOUNDTRACK FOR VISUAL MEDIA q Boardwalk Empire: Volume 1, Various Artists
q Burlesque, Christina Aguilera q Glee: The Music: Volume 4, Glee Cast q Tangled, Various Artists q True Blood: Volume 3, Various Artists BEST SCORE SOUNDTRACK FOR VISUAL MEDIA q Black Swan, Clint Mansell, composer q Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2, Alexandre Desplat, composer q The King’s Speech, Alexandre Desplat, composer q The Shrine, Ryan Shore, composer q Tron Legacy, Daft Punk, composer
CELEBRITY COUPLES
that Beat the Odds
E
veryone knows long Hollywood marriages don’t convert to real-life long marriages— the calculation of “long” is just somehow different in these two worlds. But these celeb couples have stayed together even in terms of “real life-long marriages,” and not just for a Kardashian (in case you were wondering, that is now considered a unit of measure equaling 72 days).
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Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russel. While the two have never married, they’ve been together since 1983 (29 years).
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Kelly Preston & John Travolta. Married since 1991 (21 years). Melanie Griffith & Antonio Banderas. Married since 1996 (16 years) Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson. Married since 1988 (24 years). Kyra Sedgwick & Kevin Bacon. Married since 1982 (30 years).
HOW TO HANDLE
a Run-in with an Ex A
s I write this, I can’t help but smile because this happened to me before. It was a breezy summer night in Charleston, S.C. Me and the new beau just left a night of fun at a “drinking and dancing establishment”. We cross the streetand run into the old boyfriend. My first thought was to wave hello and keep walking. But no, the old boyfriend stopped us and initiated conversation. . . . AWKWARD! I just stood there hoping and praying that no blood would be shed, no comparisons made, and no spontaneous arm wrestling would ensue. Of course, nothing did but I am quite sure I could have handled it better than the nervous tremor I displayed while there! So, in case this happens to you, here are my top three tips for handling run-ins with an ex, while you’re with your current boyfriend or girlfriend: BE HONEST . . . with both of them (in separate conversations, of course) about the status of the relationships. Completely end interactions with the ex (to end any speculation) and acknowledge past relationships with the new boyfriend or girlfriend (but don’t go on and on). BE BRIEF . . . with the interaction/run-in because no one wants to feel like you are so interested in the other person that you are willing to sacrifice time to satisfy that curiosity. If you see your ex, smile, speak and keep it moving (even if he or she tries to stop you). BE LIGHT . . . lighthearted about the interaction, that is. The last thing you want to do is create drama where there is none. And even if there was drama with your ex, I am almost certain your new boyfriend or girlfriend could care less about it. Focus your energy on your new relationship; don’t dwell on your old one. Februar 2012•Insight 13
1 2 3
Should You Put a Ring on It? Getting Engaged
Say “Ah!”:
A
24k Gold Facial
on Valentine’s Day (or any day)
pproximately 10% of couples get engaged on Valentines Day. Seeing as Valentine’s Day originally commemorated the day on which Saint Valentine died (a martyr who had absolutely no romantic significance), it always confuses me when people place such significance on it. But, this isn’t a piece about reducing Valentine’s Day to a commercially over-marketed holiday. It’s about making sure the man (or woman) you are with is the right person to anticipate a proposal from! Too many times, we get caught up in the idea of marriage, focusing more on the formalities (getting engaged, announcing it on Facebook, engagement parties, pictures, guest lists, etc.) rather than really asking whether the person you’re with is actually marriage material. And then we wonder why the divorce rate is so high?! So, before you start picking out dresses and hairstyles for your anticipated proposal, ask yourself these questions: 1. Am I, and the person I desire to partner with, individually prepared to partner with another person to pursue a joint goal? (e.g. communication styles, finances in order, mentally stability, etc) 2. Do we share the same value system? (e.g. friends, religion, health, family, pursuing goals) 3. Am I willing to accept our differences? Of course, this is not an all-inclusive list but it’s at least a start so you can at least say “yes” with empowerment and conviction for the right reasons!
14 Insight•February 2012
Spa Review
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service that is already popular to China, Thailand, the Ichiban, and pretty much all of the Eastern world, 24K Gold Facials are finally gaining power here in the states. Pure 24k Gold melts into the skin, helping to stop the breakdown of collagen and elastin while improving firmness and skin complexion. Especially, the 24k Gold facial at Enigma Day Spa, which is a MUST try for replenishing your worn out skin and a chance to feel like a goddess covered in gold. Insight Experience:
N
ataly Giter, my professional spa technician at Enigma Day Spa put me in a relaxing state, while she was filling my skin with gold! The process takes a bit longer than an hour, but the whole time you lay in pure bliss. It begins with a quick face cleanse, followed by a gold massage where gold patches are placed on the face and rubbed in with cream, and finished off with a calming cold gold mask. “The energies that come from the gold create a special bond in your skin, both strengthening your collagen and creating a fresh, younger looking face,” Nataly explained. Nataly recommends this type of treatment every 4-6 weeks for optimum results. The experience was pleasant, highly rejuvenating, and left my skin looking better than ever!
VALANNI
Eat Good Food:
Reviewed by: Luba Patlakh
W
ashington Square is home to many top spot restaurants, one of which being the ‘oh so trendy and super yummy,’ Valanni. For the best of the best in “Mediterranean and Latin influenced small and large plates,” Valanni is not to be missed. This is, first and foremost, a restaurant for the cheese lover! Valanni offers a superb variety of cheeses you won’t be able to resist; they also conveniently offer sampler specials including a tasting of 3 cheeses for $18 and 5 cheeses for $26. I highly recommend their honey goat cheese with quince paste and ewephoria cheese w/ pear mostarda (the pear mostarda is a total tongue tingler, combining the sweetness of the pear with a sharp, close to wasabi mustard). Even better than the cheese is Valanni’s Medi! These Latin tapas and vegetarian tapas selections offer a wide variety of delicious sharables, including the must try spicy pulled chicken empanadas with warm manchego, cilantro, chipotle-horseradish aioli, the tuna tartare with shallots, olive oil, balsamic soy glaze, crispy tortilla, and the crisp & crunchy “crispy brussel sprouts” with marcona almonds, granny smith apple and aged balsamic. My mouth is watering just writing about these! All the food is beautifully plated on sleek dishes; so, it not only tastes delicious, it looks VERY appealing before it even touches your tongue. Valanni also offers a great late night menu to satisfy your craving for that perfect midnight snack. All in all, Valanni is a lively, taste bud teasing spot with lots of goodies & drinks to try. 1229 Spruce St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 (215) 790-9494 www.valanni.com
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Conversation Starters * An average of 19 people a year jump off of the Golden Gate Bridge and the body count has clocked past the 100 mark. * The oldest salmon fossil found is 50 million years old. * There are more than 10,000 varieties of tomatoes. * Zombie Flick Resident Evil starring Milla Jovovich was originally titled Resident Evil: Ground Zero. They dropped the subtitle after the September 11th attack on NYC. * Sale of hand sanitizers exploded in the U.S. in 2005, more than $67 million dollars worth of hand sanitizers were sold. * Cats can make over 100 vocal sounds, while dogs can only make 10. * Solar eclipse can last up to 7 minutes, 31 seconds. Insight Poll: If Facebook produced a phone would you buy it? Yes 31% No 46% Maybe 23% Got any other suggestions? Let us know on our website (myinsightmag.com), email (insight@myinsightmag.com), Facebook (My Insight Magazine) or Twitter (My Insight Magazine). And, vote for next month’s poll! Februar 2012•Insight 15
Dress to Impress T
his month we ring in the holiday of LOVE! Valentine’s Day- and what better way to celebrate than in your hottest apparel! Have your date speechless when you come out in these jaw-dropping Valentine’s Day date looks from your local stores and boutiques!
V ALENTINE ’ S DA Y DATE LOO K S
Women
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1. Laundry by Shelli Segal. Bloomingdales. 2. Peter Pan Collar Dress. asos.com.
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4. Black Vegan Leather Pants. Pair with a cute top or tuck in a fun button down shirt. Urban Outfitters. 1627 Walnut Street, Philadelphia. (215) 569-3131.
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Men
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1. Be the epitome of a gentleman in your black suit, red checkered button down, and bow tie! Zara. 1715 Walnut St. 1. Plaid fitted cotton shirt paired with skinny black tie and blue jeans. Express Men. The Shops at Liberty Place. 2. Aran cardigan with buttons. This cable knit cardigan can be pared with any type of pants or jeans for a sophisticated, yet “I didn’t try to hard” look. Zara. 1715 Walnut St. 3. Original Penguin sweater. Arcadia Boutique. 819 North 2nd Street, Philadelphia, PA 19123. (215) 667-8099. 16 Insight•February 2012
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3. Velour Black fitted Blazer with a slinky color dress. Arcadia Boutique. 819 North 2nd Street, Philadelphia, PA 19123. (215) 667-8099.
Sports & Athletics
2012 London Olympic Budget Doubled
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Pole Dancing
Could Soon Be an Olympic Sport
S
everal new “sports” have been added to the Olympic Games, many have been common, some not so much. In 2009 things such as rugby and women’s boxing became new additions, yet baseball, softball, and karate were nixed from the games. For the 2012 London Games a petition has be circulating in request to add pole dancing to the games. The campaign to add pole dancing has been going around for years, but the petition is a new addition. When one thinks of pole dancing, they usually get the idea of a strip club. Although, pole dancing has become known as a fun activity or class to take for fitness and health maintenance. Across U.S. more than 500 pole dancing studios have opened offering classes to those who want to get fit. There have also been a large amount of videos produced and sold on pole dancing. The petition has received more than 6,000 signatures, but it just might be too late for pole dancing to make the 2012 lineup. Do you think that Pole dancing should qualify as an Olympic sport? Send us your opinions on our website (myinsightmag. com), email (insight@myinsightmag.com), Facebook (My Insight Magazine) or Twitter (My Insight Magazine).
Philadelphia Sixers Basketball Schedule Wednesday, 2/1, vs. Chicago, 7 pm Friday, 2/3, vs. Miami, 7 pm Saturday, 2/4, vs. Atlanta, 7 pm Monday, 2/6, vs. LA Lakers, 7 pm Wednesday, 2/8, vs. San Antonio, 7 pm Friday, 2/10, vs. LA Clippers, 7 pm Saturday, 2/11, vs. Cleveland, 7:30 pm Monday, 2/13, vs. Charlotte, 7 pm
Wednesday, 2/15, vs. Orlando, 7 pm Friday, 2/17, vs. Dallas, 7 pm Sunday, 2/19, vs. Minnesota, 7 pm Tuesday, 2/21, vs. Memphis, 8 pm Wednesday, 2/22, vs. Houston, 8 pm Tuesday 2/28, vs. Detroit, 7:30 pm Wednesday, 2/29, vs. Oklahoma City, 7 pm
his year’s Olympic and Paralympics ceremonies being held in London will have an budgetary increase. Currently their budget stands at 40 million Euros (51.56 million U.S. dollars) but for 2012 will increase by double. This extra money will come from the public Olympic funding package, which is not a normal occurrence when it comes to funding. Normally the public does not participate in funding the ceremonies and the budget would be private rather than taking the publics money. The government’s money is meant to be spent on infrastructure, on the venue and making sure the event and its visitors are secure. The number of security guards has been revised so the security allocation has risen greatly, adding high a force of new protection. It is now required that an estimated 23,700 security staff should be present at the Olympic and Paralympics next summer. Security will be drawn from private firm GSS, the military, and local volunteers. The 2012 Olympic games will be UK’s biggest security test. The 64-day event will start from when the Olympic village opens on July 13th through the closing of the Paralympics village, which closes on September 12th. The whole event covers 34 venues across Britain.
Philadelphia Flyers Hockey Schedule Thursday, 2/2, vs. Predators, 7 pm Saturday, 2/4, vs. Devils, 1 pm Tuesday, 2/7, vs. Islanders, 7 pm Thursday, 2/9, vs. Maple Leafs, 7 pm Saturday, 2/11, vs. Rangers, 1 pm Sunday, 2/12, vs. Red Wings, 7:30 pm
Thursday, 2/16, vs. Sabres, 7 pm Saturday, 2/18, vs. Penquins, 1 pm Tuesday, 2/21, vs. Jets, 7 pm Thursday, 2/23, vs. Oilers, 9:30 pm Saturday, 2/25, vs. Flames, 10 pm Tuesday, 2/28, vs. Sharks, 10:30 pm
PLAY FOR POINTS!
Think you know who will win these games?
Email or Facebook message us with your information and guesses. Right answers get a point towards our annual prize (see Editors desk for more detail).
Februar 2012•Insight 17
Career and Finance IMPROVING YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE:
Financial Resolutions Group President, Michael Cher,
TOP 5 Credit Repair Tips shares the
hese days, your credit history is one of the most important factors in achieving a stable and successful financial future. A strong T credit history can open the doors to virtually unlimited opportunities and can be your greatest asset when seeking employment, looking to buy a home, or considering investments, etc. Subsequently, a poor credit history can prove to be an overwhelming liability
for the same reasons. It takes very little to ruin good credit history, yet rebuilding it can take months, even years of dedicated efforts, so it is very important that you always honor your obligations and creditor agreements. A study conducted by the U.S. Public Interest Research Group determined that 79% of credit reports contain errors and mistakes, and 25% of the reports in the study contained errors serious enough to cause rejections when applying for loans and other forms or credit. Every American consumer has the right to an accurate credit report, but the responsibility is yours to make sure that it is a proper representation of your financial history. In an effort to give every consumer a fighting chance, here are a few tips that may help establish, maintain and rebuild a strong, accurate credit history. 1. Regularly monitor your credit report. The first step to making sure that your credit report is accurate is by reviewing it. You can order a credit report from each bureau for free once a year through annualcreditreport.com. It is important that you get a report from all three credit bureaus. Most creditors don’t report to all three and in many cases all three reports will be inconsistent. Also, monitoring your credit report will allow you to notice signs of identity fraud faster, and hopefully before any serious damage is done. 2. Pay on time and keep low balances. Whether you are rebuilding or maintaining your credit history this rule is very important. A long standing history of good payment habits reflects very well but just paying minimum payments may not cut it. When applying for credit lenders look at many factors. One of the most important is how much available credit you currently have. For this reason, you are more likely to be denied a loan if you are near your credit limit. 3. Dispute negative incorrect information. If you find any incorrect information on your credit report it is very important to get the issue rectified immediately. Every consumer has the right to dispute anything believed to be incorrect on their credit report. Creditors and credit bureaus are not perfect and it often seems that they are more likely to make negatively affecting mistakes thank positive ones. You can visit each bureaus website (Experian, Equifax and Transunion) and follow their dispute process, and do not forget to document every correspondence you send and receive. 4. Apply for bad credit and secured credit cards. When rebuilding your credit it is very difficult to reestablish a good relationship with most creditors. This is why applying for a secured credit card where you deposit money and only spend what you have made available, is a great tool. Even though you are not using any credit, the provider of the card reports your activity to the credit bureaus so your positive activity is being documented. 5. Pay off collections and delinquent accounts If you are currently in a position where you owe your creditors and have defaulted on your obligations, to not lose hope. Start paying off your debts and collections items as quickly as possible without neglecting your current obligations that are in good standing. In many cases you can settle with your creditors and sometimes even negotiate the removal of negative marks from your credit report. The road ahead may seem daunting but the best time to start is now. With proper direction, good efforts and knowledge of the law and your rights as a consumer, your financial profile can be stronger than ever. Follow these pointers to get back on track to maintaining and/or rebuilding financial future. 18 Insight•February 2012
Technology Today Apple rumored to buy
T
here have been some rumors flourishing about tech favorite company: Apple. The corporation has been rumored to buy Israel-based flash storage maker Anobit for a price between $400 and $500 million. Neither Apple nor Anobit have commented on this matter yet. Anobit is a company that makes advanced chips which increase the performance of flash drives. Apple already utilizes Anobit in their devices that include MacBook Air, iPhone, iPad, and the iPod touch. Apple is not Anobit’s only customer, companies such as Hynix and Samsung both use the flash drive as well. Anobit is a speciality company as it uses “Memory Signal Processing” (MSP) that helps increase the speed and endurance of a flash memory. Apple is known to buy software companies, not hardware makers so the rumored purchase is in question. Though, if Apple is to buy the MSP its reason would be to further advance the MSP technology that is used in smartphones and tablets. This would allow a boost in storage size for all next-generation devices by double capacity.
T
What does the internet look like mapped out?
oday the internet is home to literally everything and anything, if you need something you simply look it up online. Directions to someone’s house, the closest hotel, your best friend from kindergarten, or even to track down your ancestors. With so much information in place, what does the internet actually look like? In 2004 friends of a man named Barrett Lyon made a $50 bet that he would not be able to map the entire Internet in a day. This quest ended up taking him two weeks, but within two weeks time he created a program that could show a visualization of all internet connectivity. To this day Lyon is still at it, mapping out the internet as more and more internet-connected devices are added. His images trace the millions of routes along which data can travel and pinpoints the hubs receiving the most traffic. Networks such as AT&T and Google have the most populated websites and tend to show up in the center of the drawn out sphere, and the less popular networks sit on the periphery. Lyon’s visual image has appeared in textbooks, as well as, the Museum of Modern Art in New York, but he has yet to collect his $50 from the bet he made with his friends.
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Hybrid Car
Safer in Accidents, Dangerous to Pedestrians
A
study done by the Highway Loss Data Institute found that drivers of hybrid car are 25 percent less likely to be injured in a car crash than drivers of conventional vehicles. Matt Moore, vice president and author of this study said that weight has a big impact on these statistics. Hybrid cars are about ten percent more heavy than standard cars. “This extra mass gives them an advantage in crashes that their conventional twins don’t have,” stated Moore. Though things such as who the car is being driven and when also plays a role in the results. Though still remains an unresolved issue. . . Hybrid cars also cause danger to pedestrians. In a second study conducted by the data institute, they found that hybrid cars are 20 percent more likely to be involved in a pedestrian crash than regular vehicles. When hybrid cars are set in electric-only mode, pedestrians are unable to hear them coming, which means a pedestrian can more easily get run over by a car. Congress told the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration to come up with a way to alert pedestrians when these cars are on the road or they will be unable to sell these danger probing cars. Some vehicles may soon come equipped with an audible noise, though this is up to the manufacturer.
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ou Y h s Wi ereHere W XOXO Februar 2012•Insight 19
A Dose of Insight My mother-in-law is always trying to spend as much time with our two-year-old son. I don’t mind her seeing him, but I prefer my son to stay with our baby-sitter because I don’t agree with a lot of my mother-in-law’s tactics. She speaks to our son in childish voices, pronouncing words incorrectly. Obviously, she thinks it’s cute and that my son would understand her better but we prefer him hear words properly and be treated like a small person instead of a cute puppy. Or, she’d bring him lots of sweets, even though we ask her not to. Then, she calls him “poor baby” because we allegedly leave him all the time, but we’re just going to work and we spend any other time with him. This kind of confrontation is not easy. What should I do? ✽Oh, mothers-in-law! I can’t think of any other relatives that so completely represent both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, we are all grateful for their wisdom and loving support (in most cases). On the other hand, we wish they would let us live our lives and make decisions on our own (after all, we are adults). Throw children into the mix and things become even more complicated! You don’t want to hurt her feelings but we all know how vital the early years of childhood are for growth, education and development. You CAN NOT avoid the problem. If you don’t want to tackle it head-on,
perhaps invite her over while you and your husband are there. One or both of you can gently ask her to not do x, y, or z if she happens to do it. If she doesn’t take the hint(s), then you need to have a real, sensitive and careful, conversation. You need to tell her how appreciated and wanted she is in your lives but that there are certain parenting tools you really believe in and that you would really hope she’d respect them. True, I did just make it sound much easier than a sticky conversation like that usually is, but it doesn’t have to be as horrible as I’m sure you’re picturing it. Good luck!
I love spending time with my friends, playing games, and hanging out—it’s when I relax. But my wife is telling me that, because I’m a married man, my lifestyle needs to change. I just don’t understand why? We don’t have children yet, we spend a lot of time together and everything is going fine. But she insists that the time we spend together is nothing compared to the time I spend with my friends. I don’t want her to be upset, but I just don’t understand what is so bad? Help! ✽This is a common source of tension for many couples and, believe it or not, the core of this issue is not the amount of time you spend with your wife. I’d even bet money that what’s really irking her is her perception of how much you value her. The tricky thing about perception is that it is reality to the perceiver. So, even though you may place her above all else, her perception is that you do not. The only way to change her reaction to these types of situations is to change her perception. My advice is to take inventory of the quality vs. the 20 Insight•February 2012
quantity of time you spend with your wife. Do you just sit around on the sofa and watch TV or are you actively spending time with one another through date nights, etc.? By taking the time out to plan out more meaningful interactions, your wife may not mind your time alone with friends. Maybe even take her with you every once in a while on double dates with your friends so she is aware of the environment you are in when she is not around. Bottom line: if you take care of her, she will take care of you.
By Angele D. Russell
My boss made a rule that everyone in the office has to meditate for 15 minutes a day. He thinks it will help relieve stress. That’s cool and all but I don’t want to meditate. I think we all look ridiculous when we squat down and start chanting in the middle of the workday. I get the stress relief motive— and I could definitely use some stress relief— but there has got to be something besides meditation. Any advice? ✽I, as well as numerous studies, do agree with your boss that a daily stress reliever makes for a more productive day. Meditation has its own pile of studies showing how awesome it is for the psyche and la-di-da. It’s true, but it’s not for everyone. I’m sure your boss would understand that and would be open to you using your 15 minutes to relieve stress in another way—as long as it isn’t a time waster that you’ve
just concocted in your head. My advice is to pick something you enjoy doing during those 15 minutes, like going for a walk, writing in a journal, talking on the phone to a friend, or just lying down (I mean, who doesn’t like to do that?); it doesn’t have to necessarily be “meditating.”
My mom is always comparing me to my older sister—that she’s so smart, that her fashion taste is so much better, that she would react so well in this horrible situation in which I’m obviously acting like an idiot. My sister has a wonderful husband and her apartment is a lot bigger than mine. My mother obviously always points out these differences. I wish she would stop because it’s really hurting me. When I tell her that, she says “Oh please, you’re so sensitive. The truth hurts. If you would be half as strong as your sister I would be happy. I’m just trying to help.” I do not want to ruin my relationship with my mom or my sister, but I just can’t handle it anymore. ✽First things first, it is unlikely your sister is the cause of this problem so please do not blame her. She is probably an innocent bystander in all of this, and your relationship shouldn’t suffer because of your mother’s actions. That being said, while it is often thought parents don’t choose favorites, they absolutely do. The issue here is that your mother is expressing that favoritism, which is completely unfair to you. My advice is to write down your thoughts and have another conversation with your mother. Many times, we get caught up in emotion and need to remain logical when addressing touchy situations. Having notes while speak-
ing helps with that. Once you have expressed your thoughts, be strong enough to limit your interaction with your mother until she gets the point and things improve. The bottom line is that she is disrespectful, and being around that type of energy is unhealthy. Be strong enough to walk away! Good luck!
Relax and Play
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Wordsearch: Valentine’s Day. Win 2 points!
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Words:
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4 7 2 5 2 6 8 7 2 9 3 2 1 5 9 4 1 8 7 9 4 9 5 1
RED LOVE HEART CUPID ROSES CHOCOLATE FLOWERS VALENTINE PINK
ARROW ROMANCE LACE SWEETHEART KISS JEWELRY CARD FEBRUARY
January Sudoku Solution
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HoroScopes Aries (March 21-April 20). This month will create time for you to make up for lost times. Do not let panic trick you into thinking you’re doing something wrong. Rather create yourself patters that work. If sweet satisfaction seems far away, open your heart to the pleasures around you. Best days Feb. 13-15. Taurus (April 21st–May 21st). Friends and co-workers inspire your dreams or confuse you with cloudy concepts and inaccurate information this month. This month leaves you managing urgent desires for love, pleasure, and approval that are triggered. Rely on your self rather than external rules to navigate between places. Best days Feb. 7-9. Gemini (May 22nd–June 21st). Relationship issues will start your month off very bumpy. You may feel a little thrown off with concentration, though the overlook is still relatively smooth. Move slowly and plan out your path. Best days Feb. 7-10. Cancer (June 22nd–July 22nd). This month you will have inspiration knocking on your door. Explore religious and philosophical ideas and interests in faraway cultures. Maintain contact with reality and keep your head out of the clouds, this will lead you to a more fulfilling vision of the future. Best days Feb 6-9. Leo (July 23rd–August 23rd). You may feel like you’ve reached a place of equilibrium and your dreams are realistic enough to come true. But remember you need encouragement and desire to fulfill them. Best days Feb. 6-9. Virgo (August 24th–Sept. 22nd). Step back and reassess your position at work. A significant shift occurs that will reside until 2025. The change will soften critical edges and keep love from flowing freely. Best days Feb. 13-14. Libra (Sept. 23rd–Oct. 23rd). Show of your generous heart and put your best foot forward this month in social events. You should think about hitting the restart button to your creative process and find a more pragmatic approach to life. Best days Feb. 14-18. Scorpio (Oct. 24th–Nov. 22nd). Romantic feelings have warmed your heart, allow unconditional love to embrace you. Though work related issues are still on your agenda. Turn down the flame and allow you’re self to cool down before your flame burns out. Best days Feb. 7-10. Sagittarius (Nov. 23rd–Dec. 21st). This month starts very busy for you, yet your professional progress may be hampered with your personal life. Stay focused and keep your feet and mind on the ground. Best days Feb. 7-11. Capricorn (Dec. 22nd–Jan. 20th). Follow your feelings freely, this will teach you so much more. Logic can sometimes get lost in fantasy; always remember the logic in things. Conversations can heal wounds and awaken a more spiritual side. Best day Feb. 21-23. Aquarius (Jan. 21st–Feb. 18th). This month is all about you. Your goals that seemed so close start to recede into the distance. Do not be concerned, the purpose of your dreams is to spur you to something greater. Best day Feb. 7-9. Pisces (Feb. 19th–March 20th). Rather than avoiding the challenges in your daily life and escaping into a fantasy world, transmit your dreams that inspire everyone around you. Best days Dec. 19-21.
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