Mytidewatermoms Education Guide 2005 by mytidewatermoms.com

IT’S A MATCH Finding the best school for your child takes time and effor t. But the rewards can last a lifetime. BY ANGEL RUTLEDGE

GENERAL MANAGER

Sheri Ainsley 222-3901; sheri.ainsley@portfolioweekly.com EDITOR

Jennifer O’Donnell 222-3902 jenny.odonnell@portfolioweekly.com

PRODUCTION MANAGER

Tracy King

EDITORIAL DESIGNER

Pam Johnson 222-3956; pamela.johnson@portfolioweekly.com

CALENDAR EDITOR

Kari Tissandier fax: 222-3919 portfoliocalendar@yahoo.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Donna Mancha (Peninsula) 222-3903 Tammy Lindquist (Southside) 222-3905 Elizabeth Dorroh (Southside) 222-3907 Peninsula contact 681-2331 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Alison Johnson,Toni Guagenti, Peggy Middendorf,Angel Rutledge, Shannon Dean ADVERTISING DESIGNERS

Mary Ellen Carrier, Sherri Holland, Mary Hester, Steve Current BUSINESS MANAGER

12 14 16

Annette Richardson 222-3946; annette.richardson@portfolioweekly.com INSIDE SALES EXECUTIVES Emily Fitzmaurice 222-3950; emily.ﬁtzmaurice@portfolioweekly.com Christy Gammage 222-3958; christine.gammage@portfolioweekly.com

MARKETING COORDINATORS

Sylvia Mapp, Kelly Hafer, Barbie Bartlett PUBLISHER

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Tom Robotham Education Enc. is published annually.Circulation:10,000. Distribution of this newspaper does not constitute an endorsement of information, products, or services. Tidewater Parent assumes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or photographs.Those not accompanied by an SASE with sufﬁcient postage will not be returned. TIDEWATER PARENT 258 Granby Street | Norfolk,VA 23510 (757) 222-3900 | fax (757) 363-1767 www.tidewaterparent.com Copyright 2005 Tidewater Parent. All Rights Reserved. ISSN 1081-23340

PAYING FOR PRIVATE SCHOOL There are more options than you think. You just have to know where to look. BY ALISON JOHNSON

THE PRIVATE SCHOOL ALTERNATIVE What do you get? What should you expect?

BE TRUE TO YOUR SCHOOL What parents need to know to help improve their child’s school. BY ALISON JOHNSON

EMERGENCY CONTACTS Tips and considerations on choosing your child’s emergency contact.

HELP FOR HOMESCHOOLERS Resources abound for area parents who want to school their children at home. BY TONI GUAGENTI

“I HATE MY TEACHER!” What to do about student/teacher conﬂicts. BY ALISON JOHNSON

TAKE THE HASSLE OUT OF HOMEWORK Easy ways to help your child through the daily routine. BY SHANNON DEAN

THE LIST A local listing of area preschools, private schools and public school contact information.

CONTENTS E d u c a t i o n E n c .

Possible Criteria to Consider When Choosing a School:

It’s A Match

Finding the best school for your student takes time.

· Distance from your home · The school holds similar values you want your child to have

By Angel Rutledge

(i.e. tuition, books, curricu·lum,Cost supplies, fundraisers)

faced with deciding where our first grader will attend school three times

commitment necessary ·fromTime you and your spouse

Virginia Beach Public School system before having my daughter, it still has

Testing scores and other academic factors

· Ethnic diversity · Socioeconomic diversity ·childAmount of money spent per ·

Teacher training opportunities and requirements

Average number of years staff members have been at the school

· Whether or not the school is accredited and any distinctions it

holds from the state or federal government Physical safety of the school en·vironment Emotional safety of the school ·environment methods employed at ·theTeaching school

· The level of parent involvement · The age of the building · Average class size · Overall size of the school

As a result of moving over the past few years, my husband and I have been since she started pre-school. Even though I taught for several years in the been a challenge to develop a clear strategy for choosing the best education for Makayla. Fortunately, I was able to draw upon my teaching experience to decide on some of the characteristics I knew would be essential in a school. From there, my husband and I spoke with other parents and gathered our own research on the Internet and from books and magazines. By the time we moved to Charlotte, North Carolina last spring, we had a comprehensive game plan for choosing the school that would best suit our daughter’s needs. The result: our whole family is pleased with the education she is receiving.

Here are the guidelines we used: 1. Start talking early on to your partner about what type of schooling (public, private, home school) you and he think would be best for your child. Don’t assume you both agree on this. Since I had a great experience going to public schools and later teaching in them, I automatically assumed we would choose the same for our daughter. Then I found out that my husband, who went to Christian private schools, had different thoughts.Thankfully, we started discussing our daughter’s education right after she was born, so by the time we had to think about enrolling her in kindergarten, we both felt good about our decision.

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2. Assess your ﬁnances. How much can you set aside on a monthly/yearly basis for your child’s education? If the answer is next to nothing, you may want to rule out looking into private schools. (Of course, most private schools do offer scholarships, but they are usually set aside for families with limited incomes.) Even home schooling and public education come with a price tag, so deciding what you can afford to spend in advance will save your family a good deal of stress later. 3. Decide how far you are willing to commute or have your child commute on a daily basis. Though their may be a phenomenal school across town, you need to be honest with yourself about the toll such travel time will have on your family structure, not to mention your little one. 4. Consider your child’s individual needs. If you know your youngster is shy, a small private school with a small class size or home schooling might be best. If she is extremely social and has a hard time taking direction from you when it comes to school work, home schooling may not be a wise option.Then again, for the student who excels in science but not reading, home schooling (where you can focus on individual strengths and weaknesses) may be the best bet.

5. Think about what sacriﬁces you are willing to make. Are you prepared to move in order to have access to a favored school? Are you willing to give the necessary time and devotion to planning home school lessons? Will you or your spouse need to work longer hours to make more money for tuition? 6. Go online. Many schools have their own websites where you may be able to get answers to many of your questions. In addition, there are several great sites that supply in depth proﬁles of all public schools. Most even let you compare several schools at a time. Of course, you need to be careful not to rely on statistics completely, especially test scores, but they do provide a good reference point. (See sidebar for a list of helpful Web sites.) 7. Talk to other parents in your community whose children are already in school. They are an invaluable asset to you as you look for answers to questions like: What are the best schools in the area? How did you decide on the school your children are attending? 8. Make a list of your top two to three options for schools and rate them according to a set of criteria you feel are important. (See sidebar for possible criteria.) 9. Go to a PTA meeting at a school you are considering for your child. The extent to which parents are involved says a great deal

about the quality of education at a school. Call or go into the front office to find out when meetings are scheduled. Most often, the PTA calendar is set a year in advance, so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding a meeting that fits your schedule.

http://www.schoolmatters.com – Compare schools according to performance, demographics and how much money each is allocated http://www.vbcps.k12.va.us/ , http://www. nps.k12.va.us/ and http://eclipse.cps.k12. va.us/ - Sites for school districts in the Tidewater area with information ranging from

What teaching methods are ·employed at this school?

10. When you have narrowed down your search, schedule a time to visit each school and interview the principals. Many schools give tours on a regular basis so you can see ﬁrst hand what is happening in the classrooms and what resources the school has at its disposal. Make sure you feel comfortable with the school’s leadership, teachers, curriculum, safety measures, and their expectations for your child. (See sidebar on questions to ask when interviewing school staff.)

How many students are en·rolled?

One of the most important points to remember in your search for the perfect school is that you are not making a lifetime commitment for your child. While it’s good to think about the future when making educational decisions, it’s best to focus on the foreseeable future, like the next one to two years. Changes in the economy, occupations and individual schools will inevitably take place, so what may be best for your child next year, may not be best years down the road. It helps lessen the pressure on your decision if you remember that you can always change your mind later. And best of all, if you follow these tips before choosing a school, chances are you won’t have to.

many parents are members ·ofHow the PTA?

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Useful Web sites to Research Schools http://www.greatschools.net – Find speciﬁc information on almost any school in the country including test scores, parent reviews, and demographic breakdowns for each school

Questions to Ask School Staff:

Can I get a copy of the PTA budget for this year?

What measures do you take to ensure school safety? is the mission statement ·forWhat this school? awards did the school win ·lastWhat year? do you handle students ·withHow different ability levels?

Can I get a copy of the day’s ·schedule for my child’s grade?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7761678/ site/newsweek/ - Ranks the top one thousand high schools in the country

What types of parent involve·ment do you encourage at this school?

http://www.pen.k12.va.us/ - Virginia Department of Education site. Contains all types of information on the Virginia school system including the latest news about schools in the state to individual school report cards. F

type of curriculum do you ·useWhat for reading and math?

content areas (i.e. in art, theatre, physical education and music)?

http://www.psk12.com/rating/index.php - Ranks schools in twenty-nine states according to performance on standardized tests

How much time will my child be expected to spend on homework each night?

kinds of opportunities will ·myWhat child have to learn outside of

the budget to SOL testing information.

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is the average class size in ·myWhat child’s grade?

Does the school have any special ·partnerships with businesses or community groups?

Paying for Private School More options than you’d think. By Alison Johnson When the Reeves family decided an independent school was the best setting for their children, they made a drastic move: relocating from the Outer Banks during the school week to a home near Norfolk Academy. After seeing one child graduate from the shopping for bargains or taking close-knit school and another still flourishing on extra work. At the same there, Fran Reeves believes that all parents time, private schools stress interested in a private school education that financial aid grants are should look into all of their options — more surprisingly common, as are than they might have imagined — to make low-interest student loans it a possibility. designed specifically to help “It’s by far the most well-spent money of fund a private school educaour lives,” Reeves said. “Norfolk Academy tion before college. has become our second family. It’s amazing “My advice to parents who how children can blossom if they’re in the think they can’t afford a private place that’s right for them.” education is: Don’t give up before you Every family has different reasons for even try,” said Frances Holcombe, director choosing a school, public or private, and of admissions at Norfolk Academy, where there is no right answer tuition is $12,100 for for all kids. But for many grades 1 to 6 and $13,700 parents who decide prifor grades 7 to 12. “Do your homework: vate school is the way to “Do your homework: Investigate the indego, the next question is Investigate the independent what changes they need to schools in your area,deterpendent schools in make to get a child in and mine which one would be then to foot the bill. the best fit for your child your area, determine For many, the tuition and apply for a scholarship. which one would be seems far out of reach The school may very well even after they’ve considbe able to help you meet the best fit for your ered cutting expenses and the cost of the tuition.” child and apply for a luxuries. Locally, prices This year, Norfolk can range from $5,000 to Academy has awarded scholarship. $12,000 a year for elemen$1.4 million in need-based tary school and $9,000 to assistance to 185 students, $14,000 for middle and or 15 percent of its stuupper school, fees that sometimes include dent body. Other families have taken adat least one meal along with books and vantage of a 10-month tuition payment plan supplies. at no extra charge.The school’s admissions Some families can get by with careful office does not consider a family’s ability to spending, perhaps living in smaller homes, pay when deciding which students to admit, driving older cars, cutting back on vacations, Holcombe said. E d u c a t i o n E n c .

“Very few of our students turn down a place or do not re-enroll because of ﬁnancial need,” she said. Other private schools also have healthy need-based aid programs, drawing from their operating budgets, foundations, endowments and fundraisers in an effort to create a diverse student body. A smaller number also offer merit-based scholarships or discounts for siblings. At Norfolk Collegiate School, 21 percent of students receive some form of assistance for tuition that ranges from $8,350 for full-day kindergarten to $10,800 for the upper school. Hampton Roads Academy in Newport News helps nearly 10 percent of its student body with its $9,765 to $11,025 fee. Parents should look at a school’s Web site, talk to admissions ofﬁcers and apply for aid even if they’re not sure they qualify, school administrators say. Many schools work with the School and Student Service for Financial Aid, a New Jersey-based program, to determine how much help a family needs.

“In many cases, we help families to cover the ‘gap’ between what they can afford and the tuition cost,” said Mary Stevens, director of admission at HRA. “But we can only help them if they go through the process and ﬁll out the forms.” Nationwide, private schools belonging to the National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS) awarded more than $815 million in aid in 200405, covering 18 percent of students. The average awards were $8,450 for day schools and $14,430 for boarding schools. Outside of grants, financial aid officers also can direct families to lists of student loan programs, one maintained by the NAIS (go to www.nais.org or call 202-973-9700 for information).The mostly credit-based plans can provide funding up front and spread payments over a longer period of time. For example, the TuitionPay Diploma Loan from Academic Management Services lets parents borrow anywhere from $1,500 to $30,000 with the option of adding a monthly plan to breaks bills into interest-free installments.The company also offers free budget counseling. Other popular loan programs include SLM Financial Corporation, PrepGate and PLATO Junior Education Loans. Private schools say they direct tuition dollars toward high-quality teachers, tough curriculums, small classes, meaningful field trips and community service programs and, in general, tight communities that give students individualized attention and support. For Fran Reeves, the price is right. “We wanted a school that would challenge our children in an atmosphere of trust and caring, and we’ve found it,” Reeves said. “The opportunities for each student to be successful are just endless. So my advice is, explore your options and when you discover the educational setting that meets the needs of your child, try to find a way to make it happen.”

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Alison Johnson is a Tidewater Parent contributing writer. She and her family live on the Peninsula.

The differences also extend into the classroom.The philosophies of education vary greatly from the strict traditional classroom settings to very open, student-led education of the Montessori classroom. Schools run by religious organizations may inject their religious views and values into all subject areas. Some schools boast of their sports programs or performing arts, while others are proud of their emphasis on academics. Many include amenities such as before and after school childcare as well as bus service.

The Private School Alternative What do you get? What should you expect? By Peggy Middendorf By law, the United States government is obligated to offer every child an education, and many public schools offer students an excellent educational opportunity.Americans are equally proud of their freedom of choice; thus, private schools have blossomed. But ultimately, what parents want to know is “What school is best for MY child?” Types of Schools When thinking about private schools, what comes to mind? Is it an exclusive college prep academy, church school or a school with a specialized curriculum? Well, they’re all right. Private schools today encompass a wide variety of opportunities. Some are conservative and traditional and require uniforms and strict discipline, while others are known for their liberal, easy going attitude where students call teachers by their first names and decide what they will study that day. Tuition ranges from approximately $5,000 to more than $14,000 per year, and enrollment varies from 35 to more than 1,000. Some private schools have stringent admission requirements and others will admit anyone who applies. Many private schools are profit-making enterprises under private ownership, while others are operated by churches under a non-profit status. And some private schools may offer only a small range of grade levels, while others can serve your family from preschool to high school graduation.

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Why a Private School Education? Parents choose private school education for a variety of reasons. Some

parents feel that private schools can Beginning the Search provide a better quality education for their child. By offering smaller To start the search, consult with your classes with a more individualized child’s current teacher and write down curriculum, children can learn better your child’s strengths (and weaknesses) as and easier. Some students might be well as how she learns. Be sure to include lost in a school with an enrollment of sports skills, interests and hobbies as well more than 1,000 but might blossom as academics. in a smaller school setting. A private Make a list of what, as a parent, you are education can also be an advantage interested in for your child’s education.Are when applying to college. you interested in a college prep program When a child is not or does a great athletic working up to his podepartment mean more to tential, parents may turn you? As a working parent, to a private schools is before and after school Don’t give up on for help. And rightly so. childcare important as well private schools In many cases, children as a bus service? who need more perStart with recommenwhen you find out sonal attention are not dations from teachers and what they cost.The able to get it in a public counselors as well as the school setting. Some priTidewater Parent listing of National Center for vate schools specialize private schools to make a Education Statistics in working with children list of schools that might with special needs such found that 36 permeet your requirements. as learning disabilities or Don’t give up on pricent of the nation’s behavioral problems. vate schools when you private school parSome parents prefer find out what they cost. the style of teaching that The amount of financial ents earn less than private schools offer. It aid available is much more $50,000 per year. may be religious educathan parents think. tion or an alternative Fitting the school to approach to learning the child is important. Go such as those practiced to open houses or make at Montessori or Walappointments with admindorf schools. istrators. To find out more about a school, With the increase of drugs and vio- take a tour. Make sure to go on a day when lence on some school campuses, parents school is in session so you can see the stumay feel that private schools offer a dents and teachers at work.Write down a safer campus, where children are more list of questions for the administrators when closely supervised. Parents may also feel you meet with them. that private schools, where parents pay Ultimately, you want your child to feel tuition, are more responsive to parents’ comfortable at the school you choose.And needs and suggestions. you want to feel that the school is able to Private schools may also be a way offer your child the best possible education. for some children to begin school at an But remember, the school that is perfect earlier date than state law affords. for your child in first grade, may not be the Last but not least, many parents school that is right for middle or high school. were raised with a private school Your child will be changing and so will his education and may simply want to send needs.The evaluation of your child’s school their children to their alma mater. needs to be an ongoing process. E d u c a t i o n E n c .

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Be True to Your School What parents can do to help any school. By Alison Johnson Here’s a fact that all parents should know: Every year, teachers spend an average of $443 out of their own pockets for classroom supplies, according to the National Education Association. Often on limited budgets, they have to be lesson planners, field trip organizers, test-time cheerleaders, tutors, etiquette guides, sports coaches and career advisors and, faced with bare classrooms at summer’s end, interior decorators. Put another way, schools need a lot of help to stay strong. Willing parents should start by thinking basic, said Denise Cardinal, an NEA staff member whose focus areas include parental involvement in schools. “Look for ways that are unglamorous but really helpful to teachers,” Cardinal said. “Make copies and bring in office supplies like paper. I know it sounds weird, but lots of schools have not nearly enough paper and plenty of kids don’t have basic supplies that teachers have to provide, like pencils, pens, etc. Even just giving the teacher a gift card from Staples or Office Depot for classroom supplies is so helpful.” Many schools hand out lists of needed supplies at the beginning of each academic year. If possible, stock up on a few extras of essentials such as crayons, pencils, paper, glue, tissue and rulers.Then throughout the year, check to see if any supplies have run low. Parents who stay active in schools are more likely to see their kids succeed academically and socially, according to numerous studies. So mothers and fathers should join parent-teacher associations, keep up on a school’s rules and daily schedules and attend special events and teacher conferences.

But ideally, teachers say, all that would be just the beginning. Parent-school partnerships should start as early as possible, preferably before the ﬁrst bell rings, said Aiza Brinkley, a teacher at the Resurrection Lutheran School and Child Care Center in Newport News. “Good communication is key to so many things at a school,” Brinkley said. During one-on-one sessions with teachers — in person if possible, or by phone or e-mail if not — describe a child’s interests, quirks, strengths and weaknesses (don’t gloss over those). Print out contact phone numbers and email addresses to help teachers pass along constructive criticism and ideas for helping kids learn at home. Those early communications also are a good place to volunteer to help as needed throughout the year, as well as to s h a re a ny special interests or talents, Brinkley said.“As the year goes on, remind the teacher that you’re available,” she said. E d u c a t i o n E n c .

“It’s always good to ask what they need.” Parents can play many active roles in school life.They can chaperone ﬁeld trips, give presentations about careers or hobbies and show pictures from trips abroad. They can tutor, help coach a sports team, design or upgrade outdoor gardens and playgrounds and contribute to class newsletters and surveys. If a teacher has an absent assistant or needs an extra set of hands for an activity, parents can be perfect pinch hitters. At many local schools, parent-led committees already do much more than the stereotypical bake sales. Parents at Hampton Roads Academy in Newport News, for example, plan back-to-school picnics, used book sales, holiday gift-wrapping services and afterprom parties. At Coventry Elementary School in York County, the PTA sponsors a spelling contest, school carnival and arts and ﬁtness

programs and also asks for volunteers to take pictures for class bulletin boards, bake treats for teachers, help with vision and hearing screens for new students and put together test survival kits. PTA leaders in Chesapeake have a particularly ambitious set of goals this year, including introducing legislation to raise teacher salaries and starting a college scholarship program for top students with backing from successful past graduates. “We don’t want to be a kind and gentle PTA,” said Bob Williams, president of the Chesapeake PTA Council, which represents the city’s 46 public schools. “That’s not what our schools need. People tend to lose sight of the fact that the PTA is supposed to be a strong children’s advocacy organization.” Parental activism boosts both teacher morale and student motivation, said Williams, a single father who would like to see more men involved in the organization.“If kids see parents in their schools on a regular basis, they’re going to feel more secure that they’re in a good place,” he said. Statewide, public school systems in particular need parents to push for more education funding. School administrators encourage families to show up at school board meetings and write letters to local, state and federal legislators with problems, opinions and potential solutions. At the community level, parents can use any ties with business leaders to brainstorm ways to fund scholarships and school supplies. Church members might organize a volunteer project for students. Library employees could run story times or set up reading challenges. Last but not least, one of the best places to help a school is at home. Classrooms will run much more smoothly for everyone if kids are familiar with books, household responsibilities, basic manners and the concepts of sharing, listening and taking turns. That work will shape academic success from preschool to high school — and way beyond. “Those lessons,” Brinkley said,“will carry into life.”

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Alison Johnson is aTidewater Parent contributing writer. She and her family live on the Peninsula.

In Case Of Emergency

Considerations when choosing emergency contacts By Alison Johnson Every year, all parents face the same decision no matter if their child is a kindergartner or 12 th-grader, a public or private school student or a resident of Virginia Beach or Williamsburg:Whose name to write down as an emergency contact in case of trouble during the school year. The choice needs to be a thoughtful one, parenting and safety experts say. After all, emergency contacts are the people who, in the absence of Mom and Dad, could be handling everything from a major health crisis to a touch of the stomach ﬂu. They might have to drop everything, pick up a child, take him to the doctor or just provide a little chicken soup and TLC at home. “It’s a really important thing, especially if you’re a parent who’s not going to be at home a lot,” said Bernadette Darrow, a mother of two and also a site manager for the Family Focus parenting program on the Peninsula.“You know those people who stay mostly in one place, or the ones who constantly check the messages on their cell phones? Those are good people to rely on.” The best candidates for the position don’t go out of town a lot or move around without a cell phone turned on, agreed York-Poquoson Sheriff Danny Diggs.“Parents should consider someone who is easy to contact, that is trustworthy and preferably someone with whom the child is familiar,” Diggs said. Listing two or three names as backups also is a good idea. Less obviously, schools recommend people who have an answering machine or voice mail, own a car — or have access to another form of reliable transportation during the day — and have a long-

term relationship with the parent that is very unlikely to change. A sibling or long-time friend with roots in the community, for example, might be a better choice than a recent romantic partner or newer acquaintance. Some parents have no trouble when faced with those blank lines on school paperwork. Many have a limited number of family and good friends who live locally, or they know one person who obviously stands out above the rest. Others need to put in a little more analysis. Sandra Shaffer of York County, the mother of a 9-year-old son and 5-yearold daughter, has always picked someone with a parenting style similar to her own. That’s important to her, she said, because an emergency contact potentially could be taking care of her children for hours at a time. “I want someone I trust and know my children are comfortable with,” said Shaffer, also a safety-conscious type who leads her community’s Neighborhood Watch program.“I look for loving patience, open minded, a focus on the children, healthy, involved, calm — which I need more of — and I also rely a lot on gut feeling and emotion.” People who have placed their trust in emergency contacts — both personally and professionally — know exactly how valuable they can be. On the job, Bernadette Darrow once E d u c a t i o n E n c .

had a pregnant woman who needed to see a doctor and got to one with help from her contact, who immediately responded to a call from Family Focus staff. And Darrow’s daughter once vomited all over her clothes in elementary school and needed to be picked up right away. For Darrow, who doesn’t have a cell phone and often drives between Williamsburg and York County for work, the close friends she has relied on as contacts have given her peace of mind. That was especially true when Melanie, now 20, and Jake, 18 — both high school graduates — were also on the road, often with their school band. Without family nearby, Darrow focused on people she knew would be in one or two places most of the time, such as a friend who typically went straight home from her job at a local school. “It’s got to be someone who you can ﬁnd easily, not someone who might be away from a phone for a long time,” she said.“You don’t want to be hunting around when things are going wrong.” Once parents have made their choice, they still can take several steps to make emergency situations easier on everyone. For one thing, they should make sure the chosen person knows they are the contact. Then, they should double-check all addresses and phone numbers — home, cell and work — at the beginning of every school year and update their contacts on a child’s health history, including allergies, medications and recent illnesses. Emergency contacts also should know about a parent’s out-of-town trips in advance and have a list of phone numbers for doctors, dentists, babysitters and, if possible, other trusted friends or relatives. All of that adds up to a strong security net for parents and schools — not to mention children who might really need a friendly, familiar face. “I’ve had situations at work where we didn’t have an emergency contact,” Darrow said,“and I can tell you, it wasn’t pretty.”

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Alison Johnson is a Peninsula-based freelance writer and a Tidewater Parent contributing writer.

Help For Homeschoolers

Resources abound for area parents wanting to school their children at home. By Toni Guagenti When Allison and Bill Kelley decided to teach their son, Chad, at home in the early-to-mid 1990s, they didn’t have to go far to figure out how to make the transition from public school to home school. They just had to look around where become not just a way for young chilBill worked as a photo editor at The dren and adults to learn and teach, but Virginian-Pilot. An advertising photog- it’s become a lifestyle. “The ideas and the possibilities are rapher and his wife were teaching their child at home and offered a plethora of endless,” says Cherrie Moore, who founded Moore Expressions 20 years information on how to get started. George Smith, 19, whose mother ago. The company in Virginia Beach sells home-schooled him starting during the materials such as books to home educasecond half of his freshman year, had a tors. It’s also an outlet for parents to mingle, share thoughts similar experience. and f ind out how to “We met up with a get connected with the parent who had been Across Virginia, right group, both relihome sc hooling he r gious and secular. “All it children since elemenhome schooling is takes is for someone to tary school, so she had monitored by the get something started.” a lot of experience,” Even at homeschoolSmith of Chesapeake state to make sure central.com, an outlet says. “We went over for home-schooling since and got a lot of informaacademic standards 1996, the tips for new partion about how to go are met for students ents states, “Start talking about things, what opto people you know who tions there are, meeting to graduate. already homeschool their state standards and that children. They will have kind of thing.” plenty of good advice to In the 21st century, get you started. If you home schooling is becoming more and more popular with don’t know any homeschoolers then try parents, who still look to other home- to find a homeschool support group in school parents to figure out how to your area.” In addition to finding people who have get started. Then, resources abound to make it happen. From a prom to already home schooled their children to intramural sports, home schooling has talk to, advice from the Web site includes

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finding out your state laws, choosing a curriculum that fits your child’s learning style, choosing wisely your child’s social interactions, finding and using resources, and having fun. An area resource in Hampton Roads includes “The Bayith Educator,” published by Cherrie Moore and Moore Expressions. Bayith is a Hebrew word for a house or a dwelling most often associated with family, according to www.mooreexpressions. com/bayith.html. In the magazine, Moore lists the support groups in the Hampton Roads area ready to help people in their quest to instruct a child or children at home. It has 1,000 subscribers. Across Virginia, home schooling is monitored by the state to make sure

academic standards are met for students to graduate. A trip to the Virginia Department of Education Web site, spells out what’s needed for home instruction at http:// www.pen.k12.va.us/VDOE/Parents/index. html, from courses approved for home instruction to home-instruction laws. The Home Educators Association of Virginia also provides information for parents at www.heav.org on how to get started, what to expect and what to teach. A home-school manual for sale at the site also outlines information about Virginia law, teaching tips, record keeping and college and college alternatives. You can also ﬁnd a list of support groups or e-mail discussion lists at www.vahomeschoolers.org. As for Allison Kelley, Chad is in Bible college in California and wants to go into the ministry. “The biggest advantage, ... what they’re best in, they can really excel at,” she says. Chad was into science and animals, volunteering many hours at the Virginia Marine Science Museum (now the Virginia Aquarium) in Virginia Beach, where the family lived. Moore, who sits on the Home Educators Association of Virginia’s board of directors, advises people who want to start to teaching their children at home to begin checking out the law, count the costs before beginning and understand the time it will take. “It’s a way of life, it’s not just something you do from 9 to 2, “says Moore, who home-schooled her daughter, Joy Suits. Now Moore’s granddaughter, Kimberly, is being home schooled. “It’s a whole lifestyle change ... no matter which method you use.” For more information on Moore Expressions, call Cherrie Moore at (757) 523-4965.

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Toni Guagenti is a Tidewater Parent contributing writer, and a mom. She and her daughter live in Norfolk.

As they do throughout the school year, teachers also encourage regular parentteacher communication to prevent disagreements or bounce back from them. “You always have to work as a team,” Eubanks said. “We rarely have confrontations at my school because parents are informed, and informed parents are happy parents.” Still, some conﬂicts are inevitable.Teachers are like any group of professionals: Most are talented and dedicated, but some are ill matched for the job or simply burned out. And when a child is unhappy — for good reason or not — emotions can run high and consequences can be serious, from anxiety to self-doubt to outright fear of school. Here are some tips for worried parents, contributed by local teachers, school administrators and national education associations:

"I Hate My Teacher" What to do about student/teacher conﬂicts. By Alison Johnson I switched schools a lot as a child.Wanting the best possible education for me, my parents held teachers to very high — maybe unfairly high — standards. If a teacher fell short, whether in reality or in my parents’ minds, I often found myself adjusting to a new classroom. As a parent myself, I’ve had nothing but wonderful experiences with teachers so far. But if one of my boys ever did come home claiming to have a bad teacher, what would I do? How is a parent to resolve such sticky situations, short of losing tempers or simply giving up? The best approach, educators agree, is to be proactive, direct and — while always taking a child’s complaints seriously — to give the teacher the beneﬁt of the doubt. In other

words, try to stay calm and remember that there are two sides to every story. “You should always approach your child’s teacher with a problem before going to the administration,” said Julie Eubanks, a sixth-grade teacher at Tabb Middle School in York County.At Tabb Middle, the team of teachers that works with each student will meet with parents together, looking for behavior patterns that could help explain and solve rubbing points. E d u c a t i o n E n c .

If your child says he doesn’t like a teacher, listen carefully and ask a lot of questions. He might actually be upset about something else. Maybe he thinks he has too much homework or doesn’t like getting called on in class (even if both are for his own good).With young kids, the issue could be as simple as having to sit apart from a friend. As soon as a concern arises, set up a meeting with your child’s teacher. Delaying that conversation usually makes a situation worse, especially if the teacher isn’t aware of a problem. Head into teacher conferences with a positive attitude and don’t get defensive if the teacher brings up concerns about your child. But don’t just focus on negatives. Share insights on your child’s interests, personality quirks, learning style and anxieties.The better a teacher knows a student, the less chance of a misunderstanding or serious conﬂict. Even if you have doubts about a teacher, reassure your child that everyone is working hard to improve the situation. Ask to observe a class or volunteer to help out in the classroom (which many busy teachers welcome). Spending time in school will give you a better perspective on day-today happenings. For example, a child might say a teacher “yells” a lot when she’s actually just speaking up to quiet students down. Check with other parents to see if anyone else has had similar problems with a teacher.

At the same time, be careful not to let other people’s opinions color your conclusions. Some teachers earn an unfair reputation via gossip. If you’re still not happy at this point, call your school’s principal and set up a meeting. Bring a written list of complaints and examples of behavior that have concerned you. Hopefully, your notes will help resolve problems. But in a worst-case scenario, the principal could use them on employee evaluations or to dismiss a teacher. Think about whether a relationship is hurting your child or is simply unpleasant. If it’s the latter, consider brainstorming ways to get through the class,from keeping a low profile to volunteering to help with daily chores.After all, kids will have to cope with personality conflicts throughout their lives. If you feel your child is truly in a bad situation, write a letter to the principal and copy it to school board members and the superintendent of your school division (that contact information is in student handbooks and on school divisionWeb sites).Get other parents to sign the letter if they feel the same way. If you don’t get a response, follow up with phone calls or go to a school board meeting and speak during the public comment period. If you see no hope of a resolution, look into transferring your child to another classroom or — if it’s a possibility — another school. But hopefully, most conflicts will never even come close to that point. Said Lisa Kellerman, a Newport News parent who had a brief run-in a few years back with her son’s ultra-strict, mannersminded second-grade teacher: “I still think she was too hard on the kids, even now, but when I talked to her she said she was just trying to help them and that was her way. “She said she wasn’t singling anyone out. So when my son complained, that’s what I’d tell him. She was never his favorite teacher, but he came through it OK.”

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Alison Johnson is a Tidewater Parent contributing writer. She lives on the Peninsula with her family.

Take the Hassle Out of Homework By Shannon M. Dean

Most parents have heard a child eager to play promise his homework is a breeze he can complete in only a few minutes. Sometimes, however, twenty minutes before bedtime the assignment magically sprouts tricky components the child has forgotten and now can’t seem to grasp. Parents sometimes aren’t sure what to do. Every one is tired, the child is begging for help and it’s now way past bedtime. It can be excruciating for parents to sit on their hands and watch their child struggle through problems alone. Most experts say you don’t have to watch from the sidelines, but should draw the line between supporting and doing. Once you learn that and a few other tricks, experts say, you’ll begin to take a lot of the hassles out of homework WHY SO MUCH HOMEWORK? According to The U.S. Department Of Education, children who spend more time on homework do better academically than children who do not. Because class size and curriculum often demand teachers not spend too much time on any one subject, schools rely on homework to reinforce what was taught at school.This gives parents an opportunity to see what their child is learning and to help their student learn and study in the way the child learns best -- one on one, for however long it takes --options sometimes not available to a child at school. HOW YOU CAN HELP & HOW MUCH TO GIVE First, parents need to show students that education and homework are a top priority and are totally non negotiable.Arrange your family’s schedule so that there is enough time to calmly and fully be present for homework. When to do the work depends on the child. Some children need time to decompress

after school while others become more tired as the evening goes on and need to get it out of the way. Once you ﬁnd what works best, don’t deviate so it becomes a habit. Make sure the environment is free of distractions and stocked with necessary supplies. That way, when the time and place are presented to your child, he knows it’s time to get to work. Offer incentives and rewards for a job well done like a special snack, uninterrupted play time and lots of praise. Both the national PTA and the U.S. DeE d u c a t i o n E n c .

partment of Education agree that it’s not only acceptable but vital to give children plenty of encouragement and even restrained help with assignments. They suggest that parents be not only available but physically close by. Sometimes, your presence alone will be enough to motivate your child and get her rolling. Other times, your child may need your direct help. This might mean answering her questions, practicing spelling words, or listening to her read aloud. Unless the teacher indicates differently, it’s usually ﬁne to show her an example and answer speciﬁc questions on how you completed the task. But remember, caution experts, it’s your child’s homework, not yours. Be careful to stick to the role of advisor, not assistant. 1.Talk About Assignments. You can save a lot of time and frustra t i o n by going over the assignment with your child to make sure h e c l e a r ly u n d e rstands what's asked of him. If there’s any doubt, have him complete the first part of the assignment with you. A child who enthusiastically completes something he will have to erase later will not be so enthusiastic the next time. If the assignment is comprised of several parts, discuss what might be the easiest way to start or whether the assignment should be broken into several parts. If the instructions are vague and you don’t fully understand them yourself, contact the teacher, a classmate, or if your school has one, the homework help line.

Homework Help 2. Help Your Child In The Way He Learns Best. Parents know how their child thinks and should use this to their full advantage.Teachers often don’t have the luxury of presenting a concept in more than one way, but parents can. For example, when teaching fractions to a hands-on learner, you might cut an actual pie into halves, fourths, and eighths. If your child is more of a visual learner, consider drawing a graph or picture. If your student learns by hearing, you could recite a story involving fractions. Imaginative children who think in more abstract terms might respond better if the concept is personalized to them.A child who loves Star Wars might be much more interested if asked what percentage of the Jedi counsel is comprised by Jedi masters. Don’t forget homework help websites. Many are free and speciﬁcally designed to be interesting, interactive and relevant to children. 3.When Homework is Done. Once homework is ﬁnished, check for completeness, but don’t correct mistakes. Instead, help your child discover them himself by asking how he came up with the answer or if he is sure it is correct. If your child is still stumped, leave a note for the teacher so she knows where your child needs help. Even if your child’s homework is perfect,always make an effort to reinforce the material.Ask open ended questions or let your child explain his favorite part to you.Ask your child how he might use what he just learned. SEE HOMEWORK AS AN OPPORTUNITY RATHER THAN A CHORE Experts stress parents should view homework not with dread but as an opportunity to offer their child the extra attention that will help him get the most of out school. Parents can also reinforce important life skills like organization, time management and setting priorities, things a child will use his entire life. And, you’ll be able to show him that what he does all day is very important to you, that you’re proud of him, and want to be directly involved in his life.

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Here are a few good websites to visit with your child.They not only help with homework assignments, but can also offer extra practice through fun activities like games, jokes, activity sheets and even pen pals. 1. B.J. Pinchbeck‘s Homework Helper. Incredibly, this website was started by a student and his friends. It is now part of The Discovery Channel and houses an enormous collection of homework help catalogued by age and topic. Subjects are presented in a format kids love. http://school.discovery.com/homeworkhelp/ bjpinchbeck/.While at The Discovery Channel, try the site’s Brain Boosters, which boasts fun activities in the categories of lateral thinking, logic, number and math play, reasoning, spatial awareness and word and letter play. http:// school.discovery.com/brainboosters/ 2. Infoplease’s Homework Center. Homework help on topics like geography, history, language arts, math, science and social studies, as well as an opportunity to browse almanacs, atlases, dictionaries, encyclopedias, and biographies. http://www.infoplease.com/homework/ 3. Multnomah County Library Homework Helper. Click on any one of the numerous homework subjects and ﬁnd a huge list of links speciﬁc to that subject. www.multnomah. lib.or.us/lib/homework 4. Math And Reading Help For Kids. Org. An incredibly detailed sight focused primarily on math, reading and writing for preschool to college students. Offers not only homework help, but also extensive resources for teachers, parents, and students on common challenges faced during the school years. http://math-andreading-helpforkids.org/homework_help_websites_for_kids.html. 5. Ask Jeeves’ Web site For Kids. Has help sections for math, history, science and astronomy. Offers a dictionary, thesaurus, and an almanac, as well as clip art for reports needing pictures. www.ajkids.com 6. KidsClick! Put together by the Ramapo Catskill Library System and maintained by Colorado State Library,this website goes well beyond homework help and is a wonderful resource for parents wanting to expand on a homework topic. Offers fun games, jokes, and activities on a huge variety of subjects. Even offers to match up pen pals for extra practice with writing. http://sunsite.berkeley.edu/KidsClick!/

LIST

The

A listing of local preschools, private schools and public school contact information.

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PRESCHOOLS Chesapeake Atlantic Shores Christian School 1217 N. Centerville Turnpike 479-9598 Cathedral of Faith Christian School 2020 Portlock Rd. 545-8050 Cedar Road Christian Academy 916 Cedar Rd. 547-9553 Chesapeake Family YMCA 1033 Greenbrier Parkway 547-9622 Cornerstone Christian School 1212 Willow Ave. 424-7230

Elizabeth River Baptist Day Care 601 Sparrow Rd. 420-3341

Kindercare Learning Center 929 Cedar Rd. - 436-4747 725 Greenbrier Parkway - 436-4672

La Petite Academy 2453 Taylor Rd. 465-3893

Montessori Lab School 1101 Madison Plaza 548-8762

Providence Baptist School 501 Providence Rd, 523-6480

Hampton

Hampton Montessori School 225 Chapel St. 723-1428

Kindercare Learning Centers 406 Big Bethel Rd. - 838-4978 2 Kyle St. - 865-7637

West Ghent School 1004 Graydon Ave. 622-4403

Newport News

Portsmouth

Bright Heights Learning Centers 1403 Kiln Creek Parkway 875-5669

Central Baptist Church School 1200 Hodges Ferry Rd. 488-4477

Hampton Roads Montessori School 610 Thimble Shoals Blvd., Bldg. 5, Ste. 524 873-8950

Kindercare Learning Center 6025 Churchland Blvd. 484-9377

Kindercare Learning Centers: 902 Lucas Rd. - 877-0872 6 Sierra Dr. - 596-1532

Montessori Preparatory School 4811 High St. 484-6744

Orcutt Baptist School 653 Baxter Lane 249-2323

Portsmouth Catholic 2301 Oregon Ave. 488-6744

Norfolk Discovery Care Center 811 Redgate Ave. 668-7085

Virginia Beach Atlantic Shores Christian School 1861 Kempsville Rd. 479-1125

First Presbyterian School 820 Colonial Ave. 625-0667

Barefoot Kids 1458 Kempsville Rd. 467-1234

Ghent Montessori School 610 Mowbray Arch 622-8174 Ghent United Methodist Preschool 531 Raleigh Ave. 622-3239 Mustard Seed Child Care 6900 Newport Ave. 423-5854

Bayside Presbyterian School 1400 Ewell Rd. 464-0292 Beach Day School 36th St. & PaciďŹ c Ave. 428-6332 Bow Creek Preschool 315 S. Rosemont Rd. 463-0818

St. Pius X Catholic School 7800 Halprin Dr. 588-6171 E d u c a t i o n E n c .

La Petite Academy 3903 Cedar Lane 483-4325

Churchland Country Day School 4249 Taylor Rd. 484-8783

Kempsville Presbyterian Preschool 805 Kempsville Rd. 495-4611

Plaza Baptist Christian Preschool 245 S. Rosemont Rd. 486-4227

Courthouse Montessori School 1305 Windmill Point Crescent 468-0099

Kindercare Learning Centers: 4621 Crossborough Rd. - 499-9343 1801 General Booth Blvd. - 721-7664 704 Hillingdon Court - 474-2450 3740 Holland Rd. - 486-7254 2032 S. Independence Blvd. - 471-2221 3704 Lampl Ave. - 498-8522 2205 Poplar Point Rd. - 481-6048

Prince of Peace Preschool 424 Kings Grant Rd. 340-3033

Haygood United Methodist Preschool 4713 Haygood Rd. 473-9638 Ivy League Academy 4413 Wishart Rd 499-6064 Ivy League Academy 520 Constitution Ave. 499-6064

Star of the Sea 309 15th St. 428-8400 Tabernacle Baptist School 717 N.Whitehurst Landing Rd. 420-5476

La Petite Academy: 1921 S. Independence Blvd. - 471-6104 1569 Mill Dam Rd. - 481-6078 5355 Lila Lane - 420-2913

VA Beach Friends School 1537 Laskin Rd. 428-7534

Montessori Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House 700 Hillingdon Court 495-1776

VA Beach School of the Arts 3692 S. Plaza Trail 431-1382

PRIVATE SCHOOLS Chesapeake Cathedral of Faith Christian School 2020 Portlock Rd. 545-8050 Cedar Road Christian Academy 916 Cedar Rd. 547-9553 Chesapeake Christian Academy 1229 Hazel Ave. 420-9504 Cornerstone Christian School 1212 Willow Ave. 424-7230 GBC Enrichment Center and School 825 Greenbrier Parkway 548-9280 Greenbrier Christian Academy 311 Kempsville Rd. 547-9595

Indian CreekWelcome Baptist School 1200 Kempsville Rd. 547-3552

Gloria Del Lutheran School 250 Fox Hill Rd. 851-6292 Hampton Christian Schools 2419 North Armistead Ave. 838-7427

Providence Baptist School 501 Providence Rd. 523-6480

Hollomoun Child Development and Education Center 1520 Todds Lane 838-3188

Stonebridge School 4225 Portsmouth Blvd. 488-7586

Saint Mary Star of the Sea School 14 North Williard Ave. 723-6358

Hampton Calvary Covenant School 403 Whealton Rd. 826-5942

Isle of Wight

Fox Hill Private School 415 Fox Hill Rd. 851-0617

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Isle of Wight Academy 357-3866

Newport News Denbigh Baptist Christian School 13010 Mitchell Point Rd. 249-2654 Denbigh Christian Academy 1233 Shields Rd. 874-8661 Hampton Roads Academy Academy Lane 223-2654 Hampton Roads Montessori School 795 Pilot House Dr. 873-8950 Orcutt Baptist School 653 Baxter Lane 249-2323 Our Lady of Mount Carmel School 52 Harpersville Rd. 596-2754 Peninsula Catholic High School 600 Harpersville Rd. 596-7247 Saint Andrews Episcopal School 45 Main St. 596-6261 Trinity Lutheran School 6812 River Rd. 245-2576 Norfolk Alpha Beta Cappa Academy 7425 Chesapeake Blvd. 857-5215 Azalea Garden Christian Academy 5160 Beamon Rd. 855-3563

Bayview Christian School 707 Bayview Blvd. 480-9154

Portsmouth Alliance Christian Schools 5809 Portsmouth Blvd. 488-5552

Ghent Montessori School 610 Mowbray Arch 622-8174

Central Baptist Church Schools 1200 Hodges Ferry Rd. 488-4477

Greenhill Farms Academy 969 Philpotts Rd. 853-0111

Christopher Academy 3300 Cedar Lane 484-6776

Mclea School 745 Bancker Rd. 587-7841

Court Street Academy 447 Court St. 393-2312

Norfolk Academy 1585 Wesleyan Dr. 461-6236

Portsmouth Catholic Elementary School 2301 Oregon Ave. 488-6744

Norfolk Christian Schools 255 Thole St. 423-5770

Portsmouth Christian Schools 3214 Elliot Ave. 393-0725

Norfolk Collegiate School 7336 Granby St. 480-1495

Sweethaven Christian Academy 5000 West Norfolk Rd. 484-4082

Parkdale Private School 321 Virginia Dr. 583-5989

Smithﬁeld

Ryan Academy of Norfolk 844 Jerome Ave. 583-7926

Peninsula Christian School 14353 Benn’s Church Blvd. 357-3707

Saint Pius X School 7800 Halprin Dr. 588-6171

Suffolk

Saint Patrick Catholic School 6115 Granby Street 440-5500

First Baptist Christian School 237 North Main St. 925-0274

West Ghent School 1004 Graydon Ave. 622-4403

Nansemond-Suffolk Academy 3373 Pruden Blvd. 539-8789

The Williams School 419 Colonial Ave. 627-1383

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Virginia Beach Anchor Christian School 3624 Dupont Circle 460-0024 Atlantic Shores Christian Academy 1861 Kempsville Rd. 479-1125 Cape Henry Collegiate School 1320 Mill Dam Rd. 481-2446 Catholic High School 4552 Princess Anne Rd. 467-2881 Chesapeake Bay Academy 821 Baker Rd. 497-6200 Courthouse Montessori School and Day Care Center 1305 Windmill Point Crescent 468-0099

Gateway Christian Schools 5473 Virginia Beach Blvd. 499-6551

Open Door Christian Academy 3177 Virginia Beach Blvd. 340-6683

Hebrew Academy 5000 Corporate Woods Dr., Ste. 180 424-4327

Saint Gregory the Great School 5345 Virginia Beach Blvd. 497-1811

Independence Christian School 5000 Corporate Woods Dr., Ste. 180 464-2378

Saint Matthew’s School 3316 Sandra Lane 420-2455

Ivy League Academy: 520 Constitution Dr. 4413 Wishart Rd. 499-6064

Tabernacle Baptist School 717 Whitehurst Landing Rd. 420-5696

King’s Grant Day School 873 Little Neck Rd. 431-9744

Virginia Beach Country Day School 2100 Harbor Lane 481-0111

Linlier Preschool 612 Fremac Dr. 428-6565

Virginia Beach Friends School 1537 Laskin Rd. 428-7534

PUBLIC SCHOOL DISTRICT INFORMATION Chesapeake 547-1033 http://eclipse.cps.k12.va.us

Norfolk 868-3055 www.nps.k12.va.us

Virginia Beach 427-4585 www.vbschools.com

Hampton 727-2000 www.sbo.hampton.k12.va.us

Poquoson 868-3055 www.sbo.poquoson.k12.va.us

Williamsburg & James City County 253-6777 www.wjcc.k12.va.us

Newport News 591-4545 http://nnschools.org

Portsmouth 393-8743 www.pps.k12.va.us

York County 898-0300 www.yorkcountyschools.org

Suffolk 925-5500 www.sps.k12.va.us

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