Self-kindness: “I respond to my flaws and shortcomings with understanding and care.” Common humanity: “It’s not just me. Everyone makes mistakes and struggles with difficult feelings.” Mindfulness: “I can feel uncomfortable feelings without pushing them away or distracting myself.”
Why is self-compassion helpful?
As a researcher, author and professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Karen Bluth has spent years studying the impact that self-compassion and mindfulness have on our youth’s well-being. In one study, Bluth and her colleagues found that cultivating selfcompassion in teens appears to enhance their resilience as well as their interest in learning other healthy ways to cope with stress. A growing number of researchers have found similarly encouraging results. Neff and colleague Christopher Germer write, “Research increasingly suggests that the degree to which one treats oneself with care and compassion plays an important role in psychological health.” They go on to highlight growing evidence that self-compassion is an effective way to enhance wellbeing both within individuals as well as between them.
Kindness Counts
Cultivating Self-Compassion in Children by Lauren Sophia Kreider
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n the course of their lives, children face innumerable losses, challenges, heartbreaks and disappointments. Children’s resilience depends, in part, on the quality of their relationships with themselves. In other words, how well children persevere through adversity appears to be strongly associated with their ability to relate to themselves with kindness and compassion. 26
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What is self-compassion?
Kristin Neff, international expert and pioneer researcher in the field of selfcompassion, says, “Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kind of kindness, care, compassion, as you would treat those you care about— your good friends, your loved ones.” According to Neff, self-compassion is comprised of three elements:
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What are strategies for teaching self-compassion to children?
The following strategies may be used individually, in pairings or as a collective whole. Children as young as 5 or 6 can begin to understand the concept of selfcompassion. Define it and discuss it Define compassion and self-compassion for the child. Compassion is wanting to lessen the pain of someone or something. A person can show compassion by saying, doing or thinking things that are kind or bring comfort. Self-compassion is saying, doing or thinking things that bring comfort to ourselves when feeling sad, mad, scared, lonely, regretful or embarrassed.
