Sunshine in the Dark

Prerna Chatterjee

Corporate Immigration professional I Blogger & Hobby writer I Freelance Public speaker

Sunshine in the Dark

Inspired by true events

The 21 year old dusky woman with large eyes Malati, standing at the bus stop clad in a loud neon orange Salwar kameez and dangling earrings, looks eye catching. But unlike the young girls of her age she is neither on her way to college nor is she heading to any function. She is just waiting up there for the signal to turn red so that she can knock on the windows of the cars which would queue up in a while. Yes, she is a trans-woman, often referred as ‘Hijda’ in our society.

‘My parents dumped me when they discovered I was not normal’ shares Malati in her village style Hindi dialect. Born to a lower middle class family of two older boys, Malati too was a boy at birth named ‘Malay’.

‘I didn’t understand why it was that way, but I never felt like a boy inside. I liked girls’ clothes, their accessories, and my friends too were mostly girls. My siblings and friends used to tease me at first but slowly the teasing turned into mockery. Even then I couldn’t fathom what was wrong with me. My parents started to object to my every move, the way I talked, the way I walked, just everything. I remember being beaten up brutally by my father couple of times while he yelled what a shame I was to him. I was barely 7 to 8 years old then. But by the time I turned 12, things were clear. I was a girl trapped in a boy’s body. My family couldn’t take this embarrassment any further and decided to get rid of me for good. They gave me up to the ‘Dera’ (Hijda community) and never considered looking back.’

Hailing from the interiors of Uttar Pradesh, the state which on date has maximum enuch/ transgender population in India. Malati is just one among the many names and her journey has been equally arduous. She had to get her male organs removed and transition into a female in...

order to be accepted and live as a part of the Hijda community. Little did she know, being betrayed by own parents wasn’t just it, her real ordeal was yet to begin. She was ordered by the community ‘Guru’- the head, to start earning right away as the community was no charity organization. But how could she? She was just a child. She was told senior members would guide her. Few months passed, and Malati became a sex worker against her choice. If she dared to say ‘no’, seniors would punish her by inflicting injuries on her body. She has multiple scars on her hands and legs resulting out of cigarette burns.

Getting a chance one day, Malati escaped from the community home not able to withstand the torture any longer. Later, she started to make her living by begging and the traditional way, by performing dances during the ‘badhai’ rituals - a new born arriving in a household or a marriage function. She found herself another home, where she is not coerced for prostitution and members are kind and helpful. She considers them her family.

Talking about her horrifying experiences, Malati continues- ‘I have become numb, I don’t get tears any more. I used to scream and cry earlier even when children in the neighborhood pulled my chunni, and called out to me with names like ‘Chhakka’. Over time I have accepted my fate and my identity. Am I to be blamed, that God made me this way? I’m also a God’s child like you, isn’t it?’ Malati clears her throat. ‘Is there anyone who sees the pain we go through, for no fault of ours?’

A landmark ruling was passed by Supreme court of India in April 2014, recognizing Transgender population as the ‘third gender’ legally. Our Government is constantly endeavoring to protect Transgender rights and interests and making... grounds to provide them with equal opportunities and access to resources in our socio-economic system.

Malati’s eyes lit up, while talking about this. ‘We are thankful that Government is taking steps for our betterment. Though it’s not going to be easy and won’t happen soon. But we are certainly hopeful.’

Quality of life of transgender population won’t improve until society accepts them. The laws and rulings cannot make all the difference. It’s the people who need to behave more thoughtfully and with vulnerability. It’s not rare to find even educated people mistreating a transgender and using foul language. One can easily spot such sights in a train or at a traffic signal in any part of India. Our society has a long way to go in terms of atleast giving them the basic respect that any human being deserves. The common man of our country needs to understand and respect diversity. The taboo and stigma attached to transgender population needs to be shaken off as the first step.

In Malati’s words- ‘Hope is life. Only because I was hopeful and resilient, I could survive in this not so kind world. I continue to pray and hope that one day people will accept us as fellow human beings. We wait to see the sunshine.’

Prerna Chatterjee