Thursday, 6 December 2012
Namib Independent CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS
2012
SUPPLEMENT Your Guide To: • Christmas Trivia • Santa Claus • Christmas Trees • Food & Shopping • Staying Out of Debt • Christmas Parties • Christmas Survival Tips ... and much more
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Thursday, 6 December 2012
The Origins of The Birth of Jesus Christmas
In the Western world, the birthday of Jesus Christ has been celebrated on December 25th since AD 354, replacing an earlier date of January 6th. The Christians had by then appropriated many pagan festivals and traditions of the season, that were practiced in many parts of the Middle East and Europe, as a means of stomping them out. There were mid-winter festivals in ancient Babylon and Egypt, and Germanic fertility festivals also took place at this time. The birth of the ancient sun god Attis in Phrygia was celebrated on December 25th, as was the birth of the Persian sun god, Mithras. The Romans celebrated Saturnalia, a festival dedicated to Saturn, the god of peace and plenty, that ran from the 17th to 24th of December. Public gathering places were decorated with flowers, gifts and candles were exchanged and the population, slaves and masters alike, celebrated the occasion with great enthusiasm. In Scandinavia, a period of festivities known as Yule contributed another impetus to celebration, as opposed to spirituality. As winter ended the growing season, the opportunity of enjoying the summer's bounty encouraged much feasting and merriment. The Celtic culture of the British Isles revered all green plants, but particularly mistletoe and holly. These were important symbols of fertility and were used for decorating their homes and altars. New Christmas customs appeared in
the Middle Ages. The most prominent contribution was the carol, which by the 14th century had become associated with the religious observance of the birth of Christ. In Italy, a tradition developed for re-enacting the birth of Christ and the construction of scenes of the nativity. This is said to have been introduced by Saint Francis as part of his efforts to bring spiritual knowledge to the laity. Saints Days have also contributed to our Christmas celebrations. A prominent figure in today's Christmas is Saint Nicholas who for centuries has been honoured on December 6th. He was one of the forerunners of Santa Claus. Another popular ritual was the burning of the Yule Log, which is strongly embedded in the pagan worship of vegetation and fire, as well as being associated with magical and spiritual powers. Celebrating Christmas has been controversial since its inception. Since numerous festivities found their roots in pagan practices, they were greatly frowned upon by conservatives within the Church. The feasting, gift-giving and frequent excesses presented a drastic contrast with the simplicity of the Nativity, and many people throughout the centuries and into the present, condemn such practices as being contrary to the true spirit of Christmas. The earliest English reference to December 25th as Christmas Day did not come until AD 1043.
In the Western world the birthday of Jesus Christ has been celebrated on December 25th since AD 354, partly to replace the pagan worship that was commonplace in those days. However, we can be fairly sure that Jesus wasn't actually born on that date. (See also The History of Christmas) The Bible tells us that shepherds were staying out in the fields overnight when Jesus was born (Luke 2:8), but in that part of the world it would have been far too cold at night to do so in December. What is more likely is that He was
born in the Spring, perhaps between March and May. Whatever the time of year, it is virtually impossible to identify the actual date. This situation is further complicated by the fact that the Christian scholar Dionysius Exiguus was asked by the Pope in AD 525 to calculate new cycles for fixing the date of Easter. However, he decided to base his calculations on the date of Jesus's birth. Unfortunately, it wasn't discovered until the 9th century that he got it badly wrong, by which time it was too late to change the calendar.
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He fixed the birth in the year 1 BC or AD 1 (Historians apparently can't agree which.) and began counting from the latter. But both earlier and later scholars agreed that Jesus was born at an earlier date. Indeed, it was eventually established that Herod the Great died in Spring of 4 BC. If Jesus had been born at the start of AD 1, as we currently have it, then Jesus would have been born some 4 or 5 years after Herod died. There is no way of accurately establishing the actual date of his birth, but it is most likely to have been between 5 and 6 BC.
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Thursday, 6 December 2012
The History of Santa Claus: 7 Interesting Facts As Christmas approaches, children around the world have Santa on their brains. They're anxiously wondering if they've been overly naughty or sufficiently nice, and eagerly daydreaming about their potential gift hauls. But exactly how did the jolly, bearded North Pole resident evolve into the cultural icon we know today? Here are seven interesting facts about his evolution:
York City newspaper in 1773. 3. Satire first sent Santa down a chimney In his satiric 1809 book A History of New York, Washington Irving did away with the characterisation of Santa Claus as a "lanky bishop”. Instead, Irving described Santa as a portly, bearded man who smoked a pipe. Irving's story also marked the first time Santa slid down the chimney.
1. He was real... sort of Shopping malls may have turned Santa Claus into a toy distributor, but he is actually based, loosely, on a real person. Born around the year 270, St. Nicholas was the Bishop of Myra, a town in what is now Turkey. He earned a reputation as an anonymous gift giver, by paying the dowries of impoverished girls and handing out treats and coins to children — often leaving them in their shoes, set out at night for that very purpose. Since his death, Nicholas has been canonised as the patron saint of children.
4. "Twas the Night Before Christmas" introduced the reindeer Clement Moore's 1822 poem A Visit From Saint Nicholas — which is now more commonly referred to as "Twas the Night Before Christmas" — was first published anonymously in the Troy, N.Y., Sentinel on Dec. 23, 1823. The 56line poem introduced and popularised many of Santa's defining characteristics 7. Santa was a bachelor until the late — chiefly, that he drove a sleigh guided 1800s by "eight tiny reindeer". The first mention of a spouse for Santa 5. Coca-Cola created the modern Mr. was in the 1849 short story “A Christmas Legend” by James Rees. Over the next Claus When Father Christmas first began several years, the idea of Mrs. Claus showing up in illustrations, he wore found its way into several literary many different coloured robes: Green, publications, like the Yale Literary purple, blue, and brown, among others. Magazine and Harper's Magazine. But Beginning in the late 1800s, it became it wasn't until Katherine Lee Bates' popular to outfit Santa in a red suit. Artist widely-circulated 1889 poem “Goody Louis Prang depicted him that way in a Santa Claus on a Sleigh Ride” that series of Christmas cards in 1885, and Santa's wife was popularised. ("Goody" The New York Times reported on the is short for "Goodwife," or "Mrs.")
2. He's only been 'Santa Claus' for 200 years A Dutch tradition kept St. Nicholas' story alive in the form of Sinterklaas, a bishop who travelled from house to house to deliver treats to children on the night of December 5th. The first anglicising of the name to Santa Claus was in a story that appeared in a New
red garments in 1927. But the modern image of Santa Claus as the jolly man in the red suit was seared into American pop culture in 1931, when artist Haddon Sundblom illustrated him that way for a widely-circulated campaign for CocaCola. 6. The department store Santa is a 120-year-old tradition In 1890, Massachusetts businessman James Edgar became the first department store Santa, according to The Smoking Jacket. Edgar is credited with coming up with the idea of dressing up in a Santa Claus costume as a marketing tool. Children from all over the state dragged their parents to Edgar's small dry goods store in Brockton, and a tradition was born.
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Thursday, 6 December 2012
Christmas Trivia: Did You Know ...?
War on Christmas Five months into the First World War, troops along the Western front took a Christmas Eve break from fighting to sing carols to one another across the battlefield. The following morning, German soldiers emerged from the trenches and began to approach Allied troops while calling out "Merry Christmas" in English. Luckily, it wasn't a trick; dozens of British fighters came out to greet them and shake hands, some even exchanging cigarettes as gifts. Later dubbed the Christmas Truce of 1914, it was one of the last examples of wartime chivalry. Christmas in the American Colonies From 1659 to 1681, showcasing one's holiday spirit in Boston could cost you a fine of as much as five shillings. That's right — Christmas used to be illegal. It's somewhat surprising, then, that the same puritanical minds also created the first American batch of eggnog at Captain John Smith's 1607 Jamestown settlement (the word nog comes from the word grog; that is, any drink made with rum). Christmas was so inconsequential in early America that after the Revolutionary War, Congress didn't even bother taking the day off to celebrate the holiday, deciding instead to hold its first session on Christmas Day, 1789. It took almost a century for Congress to proclaim it a federal holiday.
Xmas Lit 101 The author best known for creating the Headless Horseman also created the iconic image of Santa flying in a sleigh. In his 1819 series of short stories, “The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon”, New York native Washington Irving described a dream in which St. Nicholas soared across the sky in a weightless wagon. The stories became so popular, they spawned a Christmas revival of sorts in the States, and even Charles Dickens is said to have credited Irving's work for inspiring his classic holiday tale “A Christmas Carol”. NASA's Christmas Sighting In 1965 two astronauts on their way back to orbit spotted something in space they couldn't identify. Frantic, they radioed Mission Control. After several minutes of tense silence, engineers at Cape Canaveral began hearing the faint jingle of sleigh bells followed by a harmonica rendition of "Jingle Bells" ... played by none other than the two "frantic" astronauts. The men later donated the harmonica and bells to the National Museum of Space & Aeronautics in Washington, where they now sit on display. O Tannenbaum! Even before the arrival of Christianity, Germans decorated evergreen trees to brighten the dark, gloomy days of the winter solstice. The first "Christmas trees" appeared in Strasbourg in the 17th century and spread to Pennsylvania in the 1820s with the arrival of German immigrants. When Queen Victoria married Germany's Prince Albert in 1840, he brought the tradition to England. Eight years later, the first American newspaper ran a picture of the royal Christmas tree, and Americans outside Pennsylvania quickly followed suit.
Eve, while Portuguese revellers hold a feast on Christmas Day for the living and the dead (extra places are set for the souls of the deceased). In Greece, some believe that goblins called kallikantzeri run wild during the 12 days of Christmas, and most Greeks don't exchange
presents until Jan. 1, St. Basil's Day. Thanks to their geographic location, most Australians and New Zealanders enjoy Christmas on the beach or at barbecues. Spain, meanwhile, hosts the world's largest lottery.
Feliz Navidad Around the World Christmas traditions vary from culture to culture. Finns often visit saunas on Christmas
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A Very Merry Un-Birthday? Contrary to popular belief, the Bible doesn't actually mention a specific date for Jesus' birth. In fact, most historians believe he was probably born in the spring, hence the Bible's description of shepherds herding animals. But in the 4th century, when the Catholic Church decided to recognise Jesus' birth as an official holiday, Pope Julius I chose December 25 for the Feast of the Nativity. That the date happened to coincide with the pagan festival known as Saturnalia must have been pure coincidence.
Festive Season spectacular rself a u yo
We wish all our clients a joyous, safe and rest-filled Festive Season. May 2013 bring you prosperity, success and peace. We look forward to working with you in the new year.
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Thursday, 6 December 2012
Where Does the Green, Decorated Thing Come From? - a Little Story About the Christmas Tree Once upon a time, there was no Christmas. And when, finally, there was Christmas, there were no Christmas trees. This custom, loved by most of us, only developed its current form a few hundred years ago. Greenery was often brought into homes at the time of the winter solstice. It symbolised life in the midst of death in many cultures. During the Middle Ages, Scandinavians placed evergreen trees inside their homes or just outside their doors to show their hope that spring would come soon. The Romans were known to deck their homes with evergreens during of Kalends of January 15. Living trees were also brought into homes during the old Germany feast of Yule, which originally was a two month feast beginning in November. The Yule tree was planted in a tub and brought into the home. But there is no proof that the Christmas tree is a direct descendent of the Yule tree. It could have been developed from the “Paradise tree�, however. This story goes back to the 11th century's religious plays. One of the most popular ones was the Paradise Play. This play depicted the story of the creation of Adam and Eve, their sin, and their banishment from Paradise. The only prop on the stage was the Paradise tree, a fir tree adorned with apples. The play would end with the promise of the coming Saviour and His Incarnation. The people had grown so accustomed to the Paradise tree, that they began putting their own Paradise tree up in their homes on December 24. Nonetheless, this is just one of the versions. One of the earliest legends is about Saint Boniface. In 722, he encountered some pagans who were about to sacrifice a child at the base of a huge Oak tree. He cut down the tree to prevent the sacrifice and a Fir tree grew up at the base of the Oak. He then told everyone that this
lovely evergreen, with its branches pointing to heaven, was a holy tree - the tree of the Christ child, and a symbol of His promise of eternal life. Another legend goes that Martin Luther is responsible for the origin of the Christmas tree. One Christmas Eve, about the year 1500, he is said to have been walking through the snow-covered woods when he was struck by the beauty of the snow glistened trees. Their branches, dusted with snow, shimmered in the moon light. When he got home, he set up a small fir tree and shared the story with his children. He decorated the Christmas tree with small candles, which he lighted in honour of Christ's birth. That could explain how the custom started, but how did it spread all over the world? German emigrants brought the tradition to Pennsylvania, US, but only it only went viral with Queen Victoria, who lived in the 19th century. She often visited relatives in Germany and while she was there, she fell in love with Prince Albert. After they were married, they moved back to England to raise their family. Prince Albert decorated a tree to celebrate Christmas and ever since that time, the English, because of their love for their Queen, copied her Christmas customs, including the Christmas tree and ornaments. Eventually, an American newspaper printed a picture of the Royal decorated Christmas tree, and so the tradition came to America. Wherever the tradition came from, today Christmas trees light up almost every house during the festive season and bring great joy to people. So, whatever story you tell your children, remind them that the tree stands for a light in the dark and the everlasting love Christmas is supposed to remind us of.
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Thursday, 6 December 2012
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Thursday, 6 December 2012
How to Decorate the Perfect Christmas Tree During the Christmas season it's wonderful to pass houses with majestic trees in the living room window, all decked out in lights, garlands, and ornaments. Putting decorations on a Christmas tree is a time-honoured tradition for most households, although Christmas tree decorating has changed since the early days. Early decorations were mostly home-made ornaments and brightly dyed popcorn garlands, but today's decorations include everything from souvenir ornaments to vinyl records and lots of twinkling lights. Not sure how you want to decorate? Decorating the perfect Christmas tree is an art form that can easily be broken down into a few basic steps. If you have the patience and time, you can easily accomplish a beautifully decorated Christmas tree. 1. Pull your tree away from the wall The first step to decorating the perfect Christmas tree is to get it out of the corner and away from the wall while you are decorating it. You are always going to have an uneven Christmas tree if you cannot work at it from all sides! Take it one step further and go ahead and put a few chairs or stepladders surrounding your Christmas tree so you can easily move around it! 2. Hanging the lights To decorate the prefect Christmas tree you should always hang the lights first. Work from the top and start working down. You should always start at the top so that you end up with the plug at the bottom of the Christmas tree. Nothing looks worse than having one long cord hang down from the top of the Christmas tree so you can plug the lights in. It is distracting and not good to look at. Save yourself some trouble and buy smaller strands of light. This way if one light goes out on the Christmas tree during the holidays you only have to replace part of them and not then entire string of lights.
always hang the garland after you hang the lights! Again, start at the top and work your way around and down the tree. You are setting the background for your fun and colourful Christmas ornaments to pop on. Weave your garland in and out of the branches as well; do not have it hanging only on the tips of the branches. 4. Hang large numbers of ornaments first If you have a large number of red ornaments, then hang them first. This applies to any colours. Many people find themselves with a lot of one colour. You should spread it out over the tree. If you are going for an all-white or all red Christmas tree, then hang all of the larger ornaments first. This step also applies if you are using a lot of colours. This will keep your tree from looking lopsided. When you hang the ornaments do not hang them only on the tips of the branches. A beautiful and perfect Christmas tree will have many layers of depth to it. Your tree will look flat if all ornaments and decorations are on the outside. 5. Fill in With Smaller Ornaments Once you have your larger ornaments placed, fill in with smaller ornaments. You already have an even tree thanks to the prior steps; all you need to do is fill in some space now! Tip: Always decorate the back of your Christmas tree. You will be surprised how far around the human eye will travel even if the tree is placed against a wall. Bare spots are the quickest way to ruin a perfectly decorated Christmas tree!
6. Finish With The Christmas Tree Topper The final touch to the perfect Christmas tree is always the tree topper. You can't leave this off or all of your hard work will look unfinished. If you run out of money or don't have anything to put on the top of your Christmas tree, then try tying a bright 3. Hanging the Christmas tree garland red ribbon up there. Make sure the ribbon is wide so your bow To achieve the perfect Christmas tree this year you should will be noticeable!
If we don’t have it, you don’t need it
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Thursday, 6 December 2012
Christmas Baking Fun - For You and the Kids What better way to keep the kids amused during the school holidays than getting out the rolling pins and cookie cutters? Here are some easy-peasy recipes that are simple and fun for the kids, and they are sure to get you in the Christmas spirit. Just make sure you get the kids to help you clean up!
Christmas Cake Pops Christmas cake pops made easy. An ordinary shop-bought cake becomes a magical sugar plum fairy treat. 30 mins to 1 hour preparation time No cooking required cooking time Makes 12 Equipment and preparation: for this recipe you will need 12 round lolly sticks. Ingredients 400g/14oz Christmas cake, 100g/3½oz dark chocolate, 100g/3½oz white chocolate, sprinkles, to decorate Preparation method 1. Break the Christmas cake into pieces then whizz in the food processor for a few minutes to turn into crumbs. 2. Divide the mix into 12 and shape into balls. Place in the fridge for a couple of hours to firm up. 3. Melt the chocolates in separate bowls, over pans of simmering water or in a microwave. 4. Make a hole in each ball with a lolly stick, then dip the end of the stick in the melted chocolate and place back in the hole. Repeat with the other sticks and leave to set for about 30 minutes. 5. Re-melt the chocolate if necessary, then, using a teaspoon pour the chocolate over a cake pop, holding it over the bowl. Work quickly to get a smooth finish. Tap the cake pop on the side of the bowl to get rid of the excess chocolate, then stick into a piece of polystyrene or upturned colander while you coat the rest of the pops. 6. Once the chocolate has set slightly, but is still sticky, coat in sprinkles then leave to set completely.
Christmas Gingerbread Men This easy recipe for gingerbread men makes great Christmas presents or decorations - perfect for baking with children. 30 mins to 1 hour preparation time 10 to 30 mins cooking time Makes 20 Ingredients 350g/12oz plain flour, plus extra for rolling out 1 tsp bicarbonate of soda, 2 tsp ground ginger, 1 tsp ground cinnamon. 125g/4½oz butter, 175g/6oz light soft brown sugar, 1 free-range egg 4 tbsp golden syrup To decorate writing icing, cake decorations Preparation method 1. Sift together the flour, bicarbonate of soda, ginger and cinnamon and pour into the bowl of a food processor. Add the butter and blend until the mix looks like breadcrumbs. Stir in the sugar. 2. Lightly beat the egg and golden syrup together, add to the food processor and pulse until the mixture clumps together. Tip the dough out, knead briefly until smooth, wrap in clingfim and leave to chill in the fridge for 15 minutes. 3. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4. Line two baking trays with greaseproof paper. 4. Roll the dough out to a 0.5cm/¼in thickness on a lightly floured surface. Using cutters, cut out the gingerbread men shapes and place on the baking tray, leaving a gap between them. For decorations, use a skewer to make a small hole in the top of each biscuit. 5. Bake for 12-15 minutes, or until lightly golden-brown. Leave on the tray for 10 minutes and then move to a wire rack to finish cooling. When cooled decorate with the writing icing and cake decorations.
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Reindeer Christmas Cupcakes These super-cute Christmas cupcakes are prefect for baking with children. Less than 30 mins preparation time 10 to 30 mins cooking time Makes 12 cupcakes Ingredients 125g/4½oz butter, softened, 175g/6oz caster sugar, 2 free-range eggs, 200g/7oz self raising flour, 2 tbsp cocoa powder, 00ml/3½fl oz milk, 100g/3½oz dark 70% cocoa solids chocolate, melted, 2 tbsp Irish cream liqueur (optional) For the chocolate icing: 50g dark chocolate, chopped, 3 tbsp double cream To decorate: giant chocolate buttons, crisp-coated chocolates (such as Smarties or M&Ms), mini pretzels, black writing icing, mini marshmallows, sliced
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Christmas Snowman Biscuits
Follow our step-by-step guide to making these cute snowman biscuits. A great Christmas treat for children. 30 mins to 1 hour preparation time 10 to 30 mins cooking time Makes 24 biscuits
Ingredients 200g/7oz self raising flour, 100g/3½oz caster sugar, 100g/3½oz butter, plus extra for greasing, 1 large free-range egg, lightly beaten, 1 tsp vanilla extract For the decorations white and blue fondant icing, white and black writing icing, sprinkles, 48 small chocolate balls
Preparation method 1. Preheat the oven to 170C/325F/Gas 3. Line a 12-hole muffin tray with paper cases. 2. Beat the butter and sugar together until light and creamy. Gradually beat in the eggs until well combined. Sift in the flour and cocoa powder and mix until combined. Fold in the milk, melted chocolate and Irish cream liqueur, if using. 3. Spoon the mixture into the muffin cases and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until well risen and lightly firm to the touch. Remove the cakes from the tin and set aside to cool on a cooling rack. 4. For the icing, heat the chocolate and cream in a saucepan over a low heat until the chocolate has melted. Whisk the mixture until smooth and set aside to cool slightly. 5. To decorate the cupcakes, spread the icing over the top of the cupcakes. Spoon the remaining icing into an icing bag fitted with a small nozzle. 6. Press a chocolate button onto the cake as a nose, then stick a crisp-coated chocolate on top using a little icing. Stick on two slices of marshmallows as the eyes, and use the black writing icing for the pupils. Stick on the pretzels as the ears.
Preparation method 1. Pre heat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4. 2. Mix the flour and sugar together in a bowl, then rub in the butter with your fingertips until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. 3. Add the egg and vanilla essence and mix to form a soft dough. 4. Roll out onto a well-floured work surface and cut into rounds. Place on greased baking sheets and bake for 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown. 5. Cool on a wire rack. When completely cool decorate. 6. Roll out the white fondant icing and cut out circles the same size as the biscuits, brush the backs of the circles with a little cooled boiled water and stick them to the biscuits, smoothing down the icing as you stick it on. 7. Roll out the blue icing and cut out more circles, then cut these in half and using a little more water and stick on top of the white icing for the hats. 8. Brush the hats with water in places where you want the sprinkles to stick and then sprinkle! 9. Pipe decorations on the hat with the white writing icing, then pipe a small blob for the hat bobble and another for the nose – stick on the chocolate balls. Pipe black eyes and mouth then leave to set.
Christmas Mini-Muffins
Christmas Biscuits
Make 24 mini muffins in cute individual cases – perfect for Christmas canapés or as a daily advent calendar-style treat.
These Christmas biscuits make perfect presents and they can also be made into Christmas tree decorations.
Less than 30 mins preparation time 10 to 30 mins cooking time Makes 24 Ingredients 200g/7oz self-raising flour, sifted 100g/3½oz golden caster sugar 100ml/3½fl oz sunflower oil 75ml/2½fl oz milk 1 large free-range egg 50g/1¾oz qood quality dark chocolate, chopped 1 heaped tbsp high quality mincemeat 50g/1 ¾oz good quality white chocolate, chopped 50g/1¾oz dried (or fresh) cranberries Preparation method 1. Preheat the oven to 190C/375F/Gas 5 and put 24 mini-muffin cases inside a mini-muffin tin. 2. Mix the flour and sugar in a bowl, then make a well in the centre. Whisk together the oil, milk and egg and slowly pour into the bowl, stirring gently. Divide this mixture between two bowls. In one bowl add the dark chocolate and mincemeat. Add the white chocolate and cranberries to the other bowl. Stir very gently. 3. Divide the two mixtures among the 24 muffin cases and bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown and risen. 4. Remove the muffins to a wire rack and eat warm.
Less than 30 mins preparation time 10 to 30 mins cooking time Makes 24 Ingredients 100g/3½oz unsalted butter, softened at room temperature 100g/3½oz caster sugar 1 free-range egg, lightly beaten 275g/10oz plain flour 1 tsp vanilla extract To decorate: 400g/14oz icing sugar 3-4 tbsp water, 2-3 drops food colourings Edible glitter Preparation method 1. Preheat the oven to 190C/375F/Gas 5. Line a baking tray with greaseproof paper. 2. Cream the butter and sugar together in a bowl until pale, light and fluffy. 3. Beat in the egg and vanilla extract, a little at a time, until well combined. 4. Stir in the flour until the mixture comes together as a dough. 5. Roll the dough out on a lightly floured work surface to a thickness of 1cm/½in. 6. Using biscuit cutters or a glass, cut biscuits out of the dough and carefully place onto the baking tray. To make into Christmas tree decorations, carefully make a hole in the top of the biscuit using a straw. 7. Bake the biscuits for 8-10 minutes, or until pale golden-brown. Set aside to harden for 5 minutes, then cool on a wire rack. 8. For the icing, sift the icing sugar into a large mixing bowl and stir in enough water to create a smooth mixture. Stir in the food colouring. 9. Carefully spread the icing onto the biscuits using a knife and sprinkle over the glitter. Set aside until the icing hardens.
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Thursday, 6 December 2012
How To Avoid Post-Christmas Debt With Christmas not far off, most of us all have already started spending. Decorating the house, holding elaborate functions and exchanging gifts are all Christmas traditions. But if you're spending six months of the year paying for your festive cheer, it's time to put things in perspective.
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Are you heading for festive debt? Resolve to yourself that this year you will not go into debt because of Christmas. If you are already in the red, make sure you don't make things worse for yourself. Here are some tips for resisting temptation and staying in the black:
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Start shopping early. Having time to choose the right gift will help you to stick to a budget. Buy a few items each month: it helps you stay out of debt. Ideally, shop for Christmas all year round—collect gifts as and when you can afford them without putting yourself under undue financial pressure. Stores don’t put up their prices at Christmas, but they do bring in higher-priced items to cater for those who like to treat themselves. Avoid temptation: stick to a list and a budget. Get into the habit of putting money aside for the post-Christmas sales for the following year’s gifts.
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If one gift cost less than expected, don’t use the “bonus” to buy a more expensive gift for someone else. Save the money. Avoid impulse buys. Wait a day or two before you cough up and examine your motives for giving. Choose something you want to give, not something you feel you should give. During the festive season, ask out-of-town visitors to chip in for groceries. If there are a lot of nieces and nephews in your family circle, consider pooling resources. A family can budget N$150 for each child and they will each get one decent present instead of 20 cheaper items that everyone knows are duty buys. If you are overextended, have a frank discussion with family and friends. No one will object if they know you are under financial pressure. Make a determined effort to get out of debt for the following year. Gifts don’t have to cost money: a gift of your time can be very valuable. Offer to help someone with a home improvement project or babysit for friends to give them a break. Prioritise important bills. Ensure there is enough money to cover debit orders, especially for your medical aid, investments and insurance policies. Work out holiday costs and be
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splendid festive season. Merry Xmas Namibia! We close on 14 December 2012 and open on 14 January 2013.
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realistic about what you can afford. If taking a vacation means maxing out your credit card, then you can’t afford to go. If you sacrifice one annual vacation it may help to pay off debt and be better off the following year. Watch out for those extra bills that land at Christmas. Policy renewals and school uniforms can take a big bite out of your resources. Beware of guilt buying. Many people overspend out of guilt or a feeling of obligation. Examine the feelings behind your desire to buy someone an expensive gift. Rather fix the underlying issue. Problems do not go away with gifts—they go away when they are discussed and resolved.
If it all goes wrong If you find yourself loaded with Christmas debt in January, set yourself a plan to pay it off as fast as possible. Gather together unwanted Christmas gifts and anything else in your home that you don't want and sell them to local street markets. Use the money to pay off some of your debt. If the debt is so high that you cannot even make the minimum payments, contact the lenders immediately and tell them your problem. Ask them to freeze your interest payments and set up a more manageable payment scheme. Say that if they don't, you will have to go bankrupt and they won't get anything from you. That will make them sit up!
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Thursday, 6 December 2012
How to Find the Perfect Christmas Gift
It's that time of the year again... A time of happiness Obviously now is not January, and if you are reading and love, but also of unbelievable stress. Baking this, you need help to find good gifts. So, let's cut to the cookies, decorating, end of school for your children, chase and get you set on track. • The easiest is to look for things to do with that making plans for a little holiday – and in between all person's hobbies – cars, sports, art, animals, that, you're supposed to find the perfect gift to give writing and such. A list with things your lucky to friends, family and, most importantly, that special one likes to do might just help. someone. • Do not leave it to the last minute! Now is better Now, first of all, you can start looking for Christmas than late; actually, never is better than late. The gifts in January already, because you might just see week around Christmas will have shops bursting something and think, “This is it!” Make sure however, with people, you will be stressed because there's that the person the gift is for does not get it during the so little time left, and you will most certainly not rest of the year.
SANTA’S
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right hand in the port of Walvis Bay •
To our esteemed clients and service providers we send Holiday Greetings and best wishes for a New Year of happiness.
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May peace, love and
prosperity follow you always. One of the real joys of this season is the opportunity to say thank you and to wish you the very best for 2013.
•
find anything that satisfies you a hundred per cent. No gift is better than just anything. Christmas gifts need be personal and thought about, and financial value should not count. Rather be honest with the person, tell them you just couldn't find the right thing, and make sure you make the rest of their day. Same goes if you're broke. Tell them beforehand that gifts are unlikely but that you will try, and they will be happy about the Christmas card you made yourself. I said it before, I'll say it again. Christmas is about love, therefore gifts should be as personal as possible. If you can, put a self-made poem or drawing or invite to a special dinner with your gift. Stay away from clothes, beauty products and such – they should be a last resort only for acquaintances, and no option for friends or your loved one. Except of course if they nagged about exactly those things for gifts for the past half a year. If all else fails, ask! It's not that embarrassing, and if you tell the person that you'd rather make sure than waste money, they won't kill you. I promise.
One last thing: gifts are nice, but when spending the day with your family, they should not be the centre of attention. Make especially your children aware that Christmas is about celebrating life and love and having an awesome day, and not counting how many more Lego men someone else got.
aus l C a Sant ared Cle Tel: 275 180 • Fax : 275 190 E-Mail: operations@kld.com.na Website: www.kld.com.na
84 Theo Ben Gurirab Street Unit 2, CLA Building P.O. Box 4731, Walvis Bay
We wish all our Clients
Merry Christmas
To our esteemed clients and the coastal community a great and joyous
May the spirit of giving be with all of us. We close for Christmas holidays on the 21 December 2012 and return to work on 7 January 2013. Take care and see you back in 2013!
Christmas Supplement 2012 | 25
Thursday, 6 December 2012
How to Wrap a Gift 1 . To wrap a gift, first gather your materials and lay them out on a clean, flat work surface. Remember to remove the price tag from the gift before wrapping it. 2. Place the box containing the gift along the length of wrapping paper and unroll enough paper to wrap it around the box, leaving at least a 5cm overlap. Make sure there is enough wrapping paper at each end of the box to cover the ends completely when folded over them. 3. Use a pencil to mark where this overlap ends and cut the wrapping paper in a straight line at this point. Fold the paper or use a yardstick to guide you in cutting a straight line. 4. Examine the wrapping paper at the ends of the box. Trim away any extra paper so that the remaining flaps are long enough to cover the box but short enough to fold over smoothly into flaps. 5. Open the paper you've just cut and
lay the box in the center of the unprinted side, top down. 6. Bring one lengthwise edge of the wrapping paper to the center of the box and secure it with tape. Turn the opposite edge of the paper under approximately 1 inch and bring this to the center of the box as well so that it overlaps the first edge, and tape it down. 7. Position the gift box so that one short end is facing you. Grasp the left and right edges of the wrapping paper and push the sides in so that top and bottom flaps are formed. Make sure the edges are pushed in as far as they will go without ripping the paper. Tape the edges to the box. 8. Bring the upper flap down against the side of the box, making sure the flap is sharply creased at its folds. Tape the flap to the box. 9. Bring the lower flap up against the side of the box. Crease and secure it as you did the upper flap. 10. Repeat for the opposite end of the box.
11. Position the package so the seamless side is facing down. 12. Wrap a long piece of ribbon around the gift box lengthwise, then twist the ribbon at the lengthwise seam to wrap it around the box width-wise. 13. Turn the box over so that the seamless side is facing up and tie the ribbon into a bow on top of the present where the ribbons cross. 14. If you have a card, slide it under the ribbon and secure it with tape on the underside. If you have a gift tag, use the loose ends of the ribbon to secure the gift tag (if it has a hole in it), or adhere it directly to the gift (if it has adhesive on it.) www.ehow.com
26 | Christmas Supplement 2012
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Taking the “Christ” Out of Christmas Through the 20th century in Europe and North America, the popular celebration of Christmas remains an amalgam of Christian and nonChristian traditions. The lack of clarity about the celebration's purpose has remained, accentuating a new factor in the 20th century: the commercialisation of Christmas. More than just a mixture of diverse traditions, Christmas is now big business. While the Christian calendar calls for a solemn four- or five-week preparation to celebrate the birth of Christ, the "Christmas economy" overshadows even Halloween, with Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. serving as little more than a prelude to the greatest shopping weekend of the year. In 1939, US President Roosevelt moved the date of Thanksgiving back to the third Thursday of November to expand the Christmas shopping season. With the survival of many businesses dependent on Christmas profits and half of the annual advertising dollar spent on Christmas-related advertising, it is not surprising that for some shoppers Christmas spending is regarded as a patriotic duty. The commercialisation of Christmas did not occur in a social vacuum. It is part of a society in which consumption for its own sake – regardless of need – is legitimated and encouraged. Without reluctance, consumerism exploits religious beliefs and deep emotions to persuade people to buy. Advertising’s behaviour modification specialists demonstrate that the strains of "Joy to the World" trumpeting throughout the
shops in December, produces greater profits and that "Silent Night, Holy Night" is even better. Using Christmas as a religion-sanctioned occasion for extravagant spending, businesses hope that the practice of spending billions of dollars on Christmas gifts is simply practice for greater spending throughout the rest of the year. While it may be good for the economy in the short run, commercialised Christmas also has its costs. For Christians, preparations for observing the birth of one whose coming is "good news to the poor” are often displaced by the more financially attractive preparations to observe the coming of Santa Claus. Extravagant Christmas spending means fewer dollars available for those ministries and agencies addressing critical social and environmental problems. And the loss is more than dollars. The sense of exploitation that many feel at Christmas, the depression that comes when Christmas does not deliver the happiness popular hype promises, and the guilt from being willing participants in a religious fraud, all rob Christmas of its power to renew the human spirit. Perhaps the poor pay the greatest cost of commercialisation at Christmas. In our society, the poor experience Christmas as a cruel hoax. Our pervasive cultural Christmas ideology is not Christology – celebrating Christ's coming as "good news to the poor" – but what we might call "Santology". The creed of Santa Claus theology is the well-known song “Santa Claus
is Coming to Town”. According to this creed, Santa is omniscient; like God, Santa knows all about us. There is also a day of judgment. It comes once a year when "good" children (and adults!) are rewarded with good things, while the "bad" (i.e., the poor) get coals and switches. The truth is, of course, that gifts are not distributed based on who has been "good or bad" or "naughty or nice," but on what people can afford or get credit to buy. But that's not what our culture teaches children. What it teaches is bad for both poor and non-poor children. Poor children are told that they don't receive gifts because they are bad, while the nonpoor ones are taught that they receive gifts because they are good. Both notions, equally reprehensible, are part of this culture's Santa Claus theology. Commercial Christmas, its underpinnings of Santa Claus firmly in place, continues its spiralling growth. It seems evident that its cultural pervasiveness makes future change little less than a distant dream. It is also true that many Christians and congregations accept the distortion of their holy day without challenge. The reason, one suspects, is not so much an insensitivity to the issues, but rather a feeling of impotence – not knowing what to do or how to do it. Aware that slogans such as "putting Christ back in Christmas," and ideas about "Christmas basket charity" are simplistic, many Christians opt to do nothing. The commercialisation of Christmas is something everybody talks about, but which nobody does anything about.
Christmas Supplement 2012 | 27
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Spending Christmas Alone - How You Can Survive and do not have any holiday foods in the house. Get up early, exercise and make a cup of coffee or hot chocolate or tea. Then, work yourself through the following tips, and your “nightmare of a day” should be over before you know it. (Music – the rocky, happy kind – can make everything more fun, by the way.)
The Christmas season is upon us and almost everyone is busy shopping, cooking and preparing for family and friends. There are gifts to buy, food to fix and Christmas cards to send out and receive, with news of the year past and hopes for the year to come. Old friends call each other this one time of the year just to say hi. Children return home with children of their own and families come together in love and celebration. But what, if you are one of many that spend Christmas alone? If you chose to avoid the holiday because the “commercialisation” of it all makes you barf, I can't help you. At all. If however, you are spending Christmas alone because of any other reason, you are likely to feel down and lonely. Instead of drowning in sadness and depression, roll up your sleeves and make yourself happy. Depending on your situation, it can be an awful lot of work, but it will definitely be worth it. 'Tis the season to be jolly, after all. The first thing you have to do is change your attitude. Other people's “Merry Christmas” is not a personal attack, they do not know that you are suffering. Accept their good wishes and think no more of it. Now, the prospect of Christmas alone – that means the food, the tree, the lovely lights, all of that – is indeed a very sad one, even a nightmare for some. Better, then, to avoid it altogether. So, make a plan for Christmas day. Do not decorate
COASTAL
1. Clean out every single cupboard in the kitchen. Take everything out, and wipe the shelf clean. Dust every dish before you put it back, and work very neatly. 2. Clean all the closets in your home. Throw out anything you don't need, want or like. Think about buying a few new things to fill out your wardrobe. Too many shoes? Give them away and start thinking about summer shoes and nail polish (if you are a woman). 3. Have library books available to learn basic Spanish, French, Japanese or any other language (or get CDs). Spend the day learning all you can and naming everything in the house in the language you are learning. 5. Get a steamy romance novel or scary suspense novel and spend the day reading. 6. Rent movies with action, comedy or suspense. Do NOT rent romantic, holiday or sad movies. The purpose of the movies is entertainment. 7. When you are ready to eat, make a hamburger. Don’t eat anything that has to do with the holidays. Spend time making a chocolate cake from scratch for something sweet. Drink strong coffee with your cake while you think about what to make for dinner. 8. Make a list for the year to come. Break it down into months and weeks. Set goals for jobs, cars, classes for self-improvement, writing your first novel (or scoring a lead role in a Hollywood movie). For each goal list how to work your way toward it and how much it will cost. You'll find out you may be a lot closer than you think to make a dream a reality. Last but not least: Do not give up! If you have a moment of sadness, let it pass and go on. Just because you feel bad for a few minutes doesn't mean crying for the rest of the day. Whatever your reasons for spending Christmas alone, you are allowed to be happy.
Strategies for a Stress Free Christmas Prune the to-do list Ask, “If I don’t do this, what will happen?” Aim to knock down the list of chores to the rock-bottom necessity. Cut the gift list Rein in gift exchanges that have been outgrown or lost their meaning. Limit gifts to children only, draw names, or organise a gift exchange. Wrap as you go Who needs to spend Christmas Eve catching up on wrapping chores? Sticky notes will help you keep track of gift contents. Buy, don’t bake If you are stressed out then turn your back on the oven this year. Supermarkets and bakeries are a great source for delicious, pre-baked holiday treats. Call, don’t send cards Reach out and touch someone … the easy way. Online greeting cards are easy, inexpensive and fun to send. No more lines at the post office! Scale back décor Substitute a simple door wreath for outdoor lighting, a tabletop tree for the over-the-top tannenbaum. Cut the clean-a-thon Focus cleaning attention on kitchen and public rooms; private areas can slide until season’s end. Better to schedule
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deep-cleaning chores like carpet cleaning until after the wear-andtear of the holiday season. Downsize dishwashing Hand-washing fine china is nobody’s idea of a good time, so move to everyday stoneware. Simpler still: paper plates! Finger food, not feast A smorgasboard of tasty tidbits is easier on the cook and kinder to the waistline than a sit-down dinner. Stay home! Cuddling down at home beats holiday travel any day. A holiday "stay-cation" allows for evening drives to see the lights, family camp-outs in front of the Christmas tree, and evenings spent with carols and popcorn. Fun!
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28 | Christmas Supplement 2012
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Company Memo
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director To: All Employees DATE: October 4, 2012 RE: Generic Holiday Party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 1, 2012 RE: Gala Christmas Party
All @ NORBERT’S OFFICE
No tA
, Low GAeINs! Pric !! low
Low,
e Rem
BES PRIC T ES!
e mb
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to order
in time
Wn! For Schools: Remember to order you bulk “BackFor to School Stationery”. Schools:
Remember to order you bulk
Returning toSchool your Office? “Back to Stationery”. Computer or Printer not working? Returning Remember : to your Office? Computer or Printer not working?
Norbert’s Office Machines
With Remember: their own workshop for all Office Machines and IT Problems.
Norbert’s Office Machines With their own workshop for all Office Machines and IT Problems.
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GREAT SAVINGS ON ALL SCHOOL STATIONERY. NO DISAPPOINTMENTS, ORDER IN TIME. EXTRA SPECIAL PRICES.
Merry Christmas to you and your family, Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 2, 2012 RE: Gala Holiday Party
Human
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognise that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we’re calling it our “Holiday Party”. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?
@ NATHANIEL MAXUILILI Happy Holidays to youSTR. and
NORBERT’S OFFICE MACHINES. WE OFFER LOW PRICES ON ALL BACK TO SCHOOL / OFFICE PRODUCTS.
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols. Feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement low Prices! at that time!
family, Patty
FROM: Patty Lewis, Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 3, 2012 RE: Holiday Party
your
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in a little foil doggy baggy. Will that work? Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men - each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first. There will be fresh “low sugar” fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply “no sugar” desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!? Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Bloody Employees DATE: October 5, 2012 RE: The Freaking Holiday Party I’ve had it with you vegetarian jerks!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the “grill of death,” as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your freaking salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW! The rest of you freaking weirdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Human
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, “AA Only”, you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Anybody? And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
Company Memo FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director DATE: October 6, 2012 RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her recent nervous breakdown and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the hospital. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. Happy Whatever! Joan
Christmas Supplement 2012 | 29
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Office Christmas Party - Do's and Don'ts It's traditional that you'll disgrace yourself at the office Christmas party. It brings out the drunk, puking, swearing, argumentative, accident-prone, dirty-dancing snogmonster in us all. However, there are ways to limit the potential damage. Here's our guide to avoiding the pitfalls of the office party and how to cope if the worst should happen.
you know your limits, think seriously about setting them. Accept that you are going to get at least merry and pace yourself. Any reduction will pay dividends the following morning. And if not, check out these hangover cures.
Manage your drinking time If the party is a long lunch, the pub and possibly a club Damage limitation afterwards, determine to leave the restaurant sober. If What's the one thing to guarantee trouble? That's you are hammered by the time you leave the pub, don't right - the demon alcohol. That said - it's a party! If go on, go home. If it is an evening do, don't get drunk
One of the greatest joys of this season is the opportunity to say
at dinner or turn up tipsy. Drink lots of water throughout.
and to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!
Small measures Make halves last as long as pints, choose small over large glasses of wine, don't be tempted into doubles and alternate soft drinks with alcoholic ones. Don't mix your drinks. Avoid cocktails like the plague and shots like their meaner older brother. Avoid conflict If you end up hammered, dance and talk to other women and avoid people you don't like or have unresolved issues with. That way you are far less likely to snog half the company or start a row. Stop drinking as soon as you realise you are hammered. If you are still out of it after two rounds of water, go home. If you start to feel more sober, carry on drinking water. Avoid the boss Talking to him/her half cut, or worse still drunk, is only going to lead to trouble. Okay, so it's a bit mean to treat them like a social leper, but if you haven't had much contact before and the first thing you say is, "I think you're a total idiot"/"I think you're crap at your job"/"I fancy you", it is not going to go down well on Monday. Remember, it might be a party - but its still work. The chances are most of us have never seen our boss drunk. There's a reason for that. Sex under the desk If you and Mark from accounts simply can't resist each other (because, naturally, after five vodkas he looks less like the Cookie Monster and more like Brad Pitt), try not to do it in front of the entire office. Could be very embarrassing on Monday morning especially when he starts looking like the Cookie Monster again. Dealing with the morning after If you wake up the following morning knowing that you humiliated yourself but unsure as to how, ask one person you trust to give you an honest answer. Don't ask loads of people. Once you've sewn all their perceptions together, you'll make yourself sound like a cross between Katie Price, David Beckham and Mike Tyson. Mark from accounts If you wake up with Mark from accounts
next to you, don't be horrible to him, even if you are horrified. If you are not interested, make that clear as gracefully as possible. Agree not to talk about it in the office, which also applies if you both want a repeat performance. Seek more relationship advice and dating tips. Say sorry If you got into an argument or insulted someone, seek them out as soon as you get into the office and apologise unreservedly for being a drunk idiot. Even if you meant every syllable of the character assassination you gave them, say that it was the booze talking and that you are sorry. You have to work with them, after all. Everyone has got drunk and acted like an idiot at some point and few people will bear a grudge if you act like a grown-up afterwards. Laugh about it! If all you did was get drunk and talk bollocks, don't worry - so did everyone else. Whatever you said will seem worse to you than others, who will have been getting on with having a good time and probably won't even remember. In fact, they are probably just as worried about what they said to you - and do you remember or care about that? Have fun The most vital thing is to have fun. Whether you follow our tips or not, just remember the most important advice we can offer is to watch your drinking. Get merry, have a dance and a gossip, but make sure you get home in one piece, too.
30 | Christmas Supplement 2012
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Christmas
Funnies with Bells On!
A Reindeer Walks into a Bar One evening, in a busy bar, a reindeer walked in the door, sauntered up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer's hoof. As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said, "You know, I think you're the first reindeer I've ever seen in here." The reindeer looked hard at the hoofful of change and said, "Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these prices, I'm the last reindeer you'll see in here."
Three honest men Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus all got into the lift of the hotel. As the lift travelled from the 5th floor down to the ground level, one-by-one they noticed N$5000 in bills lying on the lift's floor. Which one picked up the toll of notes, and handed it in at reception? Santa of course, the other two don't actually exist! What??? I asked my mum as a child...please, please mum can I have a dog for Christmas..... her reply...no you can have sodding turkey like everyone else!
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Christmas Turkey It was Christmas Eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one. In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, ‘Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?’ ‘No, madam, ‘he replied, ‘they’re all dead.’
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Or else…. A mafioso’s son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, ‘Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new…’ He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, ‘Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new…’ He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away. He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother’s room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, ‘Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again…’
Christmas Supplement 2012 | 31
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Mistletoe Joke Jennifer was a pretty 18 year old girl. In the week before Christmas she sauntered up to the curtain counter, and was trying to decide which of the many types of tinsel she would buy. Finally, she made her choice and asked the spotty youth who was manning the fabric section. ‘How much is this gold tinsel garland’. The spotty youth pointed to the Christmas mistletoe above the
counter and said, ‘This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per metre’. ‘Wow, that’s great’, said Jennifer, ‘I’ll take 12 metres’. With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the boy measured out the tinsel, wrapped up the garland, and gave it to Jennifer. She then called to an old man who had been browsing through the Christmas trees and said, ‘My Grandpa will settle the bill.’
Funny Christmas Present Pete bought his wife, Thelma, a beautiful diamond ring as her Christmas present. After hearing about this extravagant gift, a John, his friend, commented, ‘I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.’ ‘Oh, Thelma did, Pete replied, ‘But where on earth was I going to find a fake Jeep?’
Coastal Precast & Paving Suremix We wish all our Clients a
Merry Christmas
and a Happy
A BIG THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOYAL SUPPORT THROUGHOUT THE YEAR
New Year
BIG
A THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOYAL SUPPORT THROUGHOUT THE YEAR
We will close on 14 December and re-open on 09 January 2013
SUREMIX
How the Angel got it’s place on top of the Christmas Tree It was Christmas eve, and Santa was really busy making his list and checking it twice, when there came a knock at the door. His wife comes in. "Honey, where do you want me to put your boots and gloves?" Well, Santa is very busy and so he's slightly annoyed by this trivial question, so he snaps at her, "Put them by the front door, and stop bothering me. I'm trying to get some work done." He starts back to work, but a few minutes later an elf barges in. "Santa, we got all the toys wrapped, what should we do with them?" Santa snaps, "Stick 'em in the sleigh! Can't you see I'm trying to get ready? I don't want any more interruptions!" But sure enough, as soon as he starts back to work, there is another interruption. An angel, standing at the door, says, "Santa, I have your Christmas tree. Where would you like me to put it?" And this is where we get the tradition of placing an angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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