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Monday, 5 November 2012
lifestyle 27
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Travellin’ Mama talks
SCHOOL OF LIFE: Nancy’s girls acquire more knowledge about life by the time school year is up. NANCY Harper, author of the book Travellin’ Mama: A Parent’s Guide to Ditching the Routine, Seeing the World and Taking the Kids Along for the Ride, is a happily married mother who chronicles the funny stuff that happens when travelling with kids – and those unavoidable misadventures whenever children throw tantrums wherever the family happens to be. Her book is about showing 21st century parents that it’s indeed possible to combine one’s passion for seeing the world with caring for young ones. Even more determined to show that it can be a thrilling and rewarding experience, the North American mom chats to us about the upsides of travelling long trips with young children. What inspired you to write Travellin’ Mama? I was working at a newspaper before we embarked on our year-long adventure, and my editor suggested I write a book about it. It’s still considered a little unusual to do a long-haul trip like this instead of your typical Disney-style vacation. As both a mom and a still-addicted travel junkie, what I’ve learned is that we don’t need to trade all the interesting stuff for manufactured entertainment once the kids come along. And we needn’t just do what the kids want to do all the time! I wanted to show parents that by going after what they want once in a while, they’re not being bad or selfish. They’re actually making themselves happier people and therefore better parents. Have you achieved that goal as a mom yourself? I would say coming to South Africa is what I’d wanted to do for many years, and the rest fell into place. A chapter about your South African travel experiences has proven to be a hit with the readers everywhere. Why do you think this is? The highlight of the entire year was the month we spent in South Africa. It was, quite simply, a huge cultural gift for me and my family, and I think South African readers will appreciate this outsider’s fresh take and point of view. Mostly this chapter is an honest look at what it’s like for a family of four to take the road less travelled, avoid the tourbus circuit and experience what it’s like to make your own agenda, get to know the locals and see the real South Africa. Which parts of South Africa did you enjoy the most? For our family, the magical moments were pretty much a daily occurrence: the animals and the night sky at Addo Elephant Park, Madikwe Game Reserve and Kruger National Park, where we saw the Big Five within a few hours of driving into the park, and the drive from Cape Town to Durban. I will also never forget watching the All Blacks thrash the Springboks (my husband is
from New Zealand), visiting Robben Island, drinking Amarula by the fire every night with the girls tucked in to bed nearby, and staying at cool places like Kwabhekithunga and the Valley of the Rainbow. You talk a lot about the upsides of travelling with kids. What would you say is the biggest downfall of taking kids along on such trips? Sometimes there’s just no avoiding it, s**t happens! And having children around makes it even harder to keep your cool. Had I known, for example, that I’d be ankle-deep in water, wringing out my granny panties in a thundery monsoon as lightning struck directly overhead again and again, I wouldn’t have made for the croc-infested environs of Darwin, Australia, at the height of the rainy season with plans to sleep rough. That said, I think people focus too much on those times when children make a bad situation. Truly, the crappy moments are few and far between. The magical ones reaffirm the wisdom of letting kids experience something different and memorable. I believe it’s better to regret something you did rather than something you always wanted to do but didn’t have the guts to try – bumps along the road notwithstanding. I’ll never regret the opportunities I’ve had to take my children out of their routine and enrol them in the school of real life.
By Barbra d’Engle (angelsvoice.mobi)
DAILY
SCHOOL OF LIFE: Nancy’s girls acquire more knowledge about life by mixing with kids in KZN.
What was the main highlight of writing the book? Certainly it was great to experience the trip, but the actual writing, as you would know, is a massive pain in the ass. It’s kind of like bungee jumping – it’s only fun when it’s over. And yet what I’ve also learned is that the process of marketing the book is even worse. In fact, learning about social media in order to shamelessly self-promote has been completely torturous. It’s not in my nature to tweet or go on Facebook. Seriously though, the highlight overall is knowing I’ve created something kind of cool that my girls might appreciate one day, especially if they become moms. How expensive is it to travel, and how did you manage to come up with the steep amount needed for the trip? I’d be lying if I said we were poor, although neither of us makes what’s considered good money by North American standards. My husband is a handyman and I’m a full-time marketing writer. The truth is that a dirt-cheap real estate purchase in 1995 paid off nicely when we sold it in 2006, which was good enough for a wee nest egg for our girls with some left over to splurge on the rather exorbitant airfares that the trip required. Airfares were the priciest part of the trip, but we balanced that out by camping for at least two months of the year away, and lived in Melbourne for several months, which was relatively cheap. Certainly the money we spent (about $60 000 total – R526 000) could have been put to good use in a retirement
CAPRICORN
A GIRL IN EACH PORT: Cape Agulhas, where two oceans meet and papa poses with his well-travelled daughters.
annuity or some other similarly grownup pursuit. But I still believe that you only live once, and that not everything fun or adventurous should be put on hold until one can better afford it or retires. What is, according to you, the most affordable, cheapest way to travel? The big trip that you can read about in Travellin’ Mama took years for us to arrange, workwise and otherwise. But it’s certainly not the only way to travel – need I mention that we are about to go to Central America for a couple of months! We’ll be splurging occasionally but mostly getting around by bus and staying in low-budget places, including the occasional backpackers’ hostel, where in South Africa they treated our children like visiting royalty. We’ll also be staying in places with kitchens – that’s critical because if you
Dec 21 – Jan 19
Your emotions could blind you to reality today, as you really don’t want to see what’s right in front of you. Take heart if you lose a step, and get back onto the right track again. Loved ones will enjoy the affection you show them, you’ll be affectionate and indulgent.
TAURUS
Apr 20 – May 20
You’ll be irresistible today. Your personal magnetism is a great asset as long as you don’t play with anyone’s feelings. Friends and colleagues could be aggressive, could they be angry about something you’ve done? It’s up to you to set things straight as soon as you can.
VIRGO
Mary-Anne Jordaan
At life speed
Canadian mom, writer and travel junkie Nancy Harper debunks the stereotype about travelling with children. Parents deserve ‘me time’ too, she says, and she wanted to expose her children to the ‘school of life’ while visiting their chosen countries TANKISO KOMANE
And by the way
Aug 23 – Sep 23
Don’t be tempted to show off too much, as jealousy could take you by surprise. Adopt a generous attitude to others, because someone seems set to make you a promise you know is impossible to fulfil. Avoid your tendency to embroider anything to make it more exciting.
AQUARIUS
eat out every meal you’ll find yourself in the poorhouse real quick. There’s a fine line between spending large on a big trip when you can afford to do so and spending large on everything, all the time when you can’t. Being frugal in everyday life makes the big stuff possible. To that end, a few of my golden rules include eating at home and making your lunch for work, not to ever buy a new car, buying secondhand clothes and quitting smoking. How did your love for travelling come about? I was about nine or 10 when I glimpsed the cover of one of my dad’s Time magazines, which had a photo of the burial ghats in Varanasi, India. I remember thinking, “Wow, I am totally going there one day” – and I did. I think I just have a natural curios-
Jan 20 – Feb 17
You may find yourself at a loss as people seem more than usually dependent and. Do listen to and try to understand the folks around you. Normally you don’t need reminding to be tolerant, but today you’re too tired to listen. Don’t ignore anything, no matter how you feel.
GEMINI
May 21 – Jun 20
Normally your high energy levels keep you on the go, but today you’ll find it hard to get started. If something new has to be done, you’ll find yourself procrastinating. Staring out the window only wastes time and causes a back-up.
LIBRA
Sep 23 – Oct 22
While your confidence seems strong, you’ll be vulnerable to other’s opinions. Romantic offers could appear out of nowhere, enhancing your self-image. However, unhappiness may lurk on the side-lines due to some kind of dishonesty. Love secrets could be revealed.
PISCES
ity about other places and I don’t mind living frugally day to day to make it happen. What would you say to those people who hardly ever travel? I would quote Mark Twain: “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrowmindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” Some people might not have the opportunity and some just aren’t hardwired to want to travel. Yet I suspect that most people would like to travel if they could find their way past the obstacles, which essentially are fear, lack of time, money, career and the children themselves.
Feb 18 – Mar 19
New projects may land in your lap so quickly you won’t have time to think. Your gullible nature might incline you to volunteer to do someone else’s dirty work. Think ahead and try to work out the real cost in terms of time and energy. Romance may become intense.
CANCER
Jun 21 – Jul 21
You’ll need to know where important documents or items are, so create order in your space today. Disorder aggravates mental stress, so get those irritating details sorted out. On a social level, you may be involved in the lives of others who perhaps need your assistance.
SCORPIO
Oct 23 – Nov 21
The day may begin chaotically, and you’ll have to keep focused on your priorities. This won’t be easy, as it’s difficult to decide what’s important. Someone may forget a promise, forcing you to act independently. Power games in your love life will be confusing.
FOR most people over the age of 10 or so the pace of life is pretty swift. I’m sure I’m not the only person who feels as if on some days I’m clinging on by my fingernails to something that is moving almost too fast for me to keep hold of. But occasionally, while you’re rushing about your daily life, you’ll come crashing head first into a person or institution who completely refuses to march to the same demandingly quick beat as the rest of us. Last week I had a few hours in which to fit in a few mundane but necessary little chores, not exactly exciting, but I figured it would only take a tiny slice out of my life. I needed to pay my phone bill at a local post office branch and, seeing as I was in a fairly large shopping centre, I thought it would be as quick, painless and surgically precise as having a stitch removed. I mistakenly thought that everyone was riding the same torpedo, but I was wrong. Seeing as the queue was almost out the door and it was nearing the end of the month you might expect this particular branch to have galvanised itself into super efficiency, right? Wrong! There was only one actual person on duty (well, one and a half if you counted the other staff member busy on a personal phone call) and during the seemingly endless amount of time I spent in line I was able to watch like Richard Attenborough a miracle of modern bureaucracy in her natural habitat. Honestly, this lady was moving so slowly it would make an elderly sloth look like Oscar Pistorious in full sprint. For a moment I wondered if the post office had a deal on with a local prison because the shuffling, laboured gait of this woman made me wonder if she was, in fact, hampered by regulation issue shackles on her day out of jail for work experience. The queue continued to grow and the people comprising it, myself included, began to bond in the way strangers trapped together in an odd or uncomfortable situation tend to do. And it really was odd and uncomfortable – we were all exchanging subtle glances of incredulity, muttering groans and swear words. Of course it had to be subtle and muttered because we all knew that, despite appearances to the contrary, this snail-slow and ponderous looking person was actually completely, utterly, hyper-aware of what she was doing. It was a deliberate raised middle finger to the fools in line who had no choice but to rush through life at warp speed. Had she picked up at our collective displeasure I know without a shadow of a doubt that she would have defied all natural laws and slowed down even further until actual glaciers started to whizz past her like enormous frozen ping-pong balls. After all, where in The Big Book of Life is it written that we must all bow to the rules and force ourselves to move through our days at an uncomfortably breakneck and stressful speed? So many people crumble under the weight of modern day expectation that we would all be lightning fast overachievers with successful careers, healthy gym-toned bodies, wholesome and well balanced home and family lives and to top it all off like some nasty, spiteful little cherry – absolutely no bad or negative little habits to help us through the agony of keeping up with the relentlessness of it all. I can’t help but secretly admire the chutzpah it requires to risk deliberately infuriating the growing trail of impatient human beings who are all relying on you to act with the precision of a Swiss clock.
ARIES
Mar 20 – Apr 19
Today you should be cautious. Deception at work could spoil your plans, so avoid politics like the plague. Stick to protocol; at best you could lose credibility, or at worst you could alienate someone who could turn into an enemy. Avoid criticising anyone.
LEO
July 22 – Aug 22
Ideals and emotions could blind you to reality, but take heart if you lose a step. You’ll soon be able to make a determined stand for what you believe in. Loved ones enjoy the affection you show them today. No one will be able to push you around; you’ll fight for your principles.
SAGITTARIUS
Nov 22 – Dec 20
Expect some challenges today; things aren’t going to move smoothly at all. Others may oppose your plans to take charge of something important. Analyse all objections and see what you can do to improve your original ideas. Don’t take anything at face value though.