Small Stories 01

An attempt has been made to put in the small stories apprears on various topics at various sites or through mails from friends, relatives or through some unun-known persons or through sites, blogs, etc., It is seen that generally these are ignored due to various various reasons, may be because at that time, we may not have enough time to read these or even to copy it down or any other good reason.

Here topics have been arranged in random order, so that this makes the reader refreshing.

I thank everyone in this endeavour. endeavour.

Hope this will be received in good spirit.

Thanking you, good going‌..

-1-

This is very touching and enlightening too Her name was Mrs. Thompson and his was 'Teddy'.

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie.

Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same.

But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't play well with the other children that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners ... he is a joy to be around."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., -2-

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death had been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school.

He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class".

By now, Mrs Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag.

Mrs Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents.

Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., -3-

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive.

The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs.Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further.

The letter explained that she was still the best and favourite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer - The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD. The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad.,

-4-

place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs Thompson did.

And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs.Thompson's ear, "Thank you, Mrs. Thompson, for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

Warm someone's heart today ... passes this along.

Please remember that wherever you go, and whatever you do, you will have the opportunity to touch and/or change a person's outlook. And please try to do it in a positive way.

“Friends lift us to our feet�

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., -5-

When starting out young Be patient and listen to experienced colleagues. Value their views and opinions Be thorough with the research on which your opinions are based. It'll give you credibility.

Analyse each step of the system to appreciate the challenges involved Start with the proposition that you know nothing and learn while interacting with people Don't give up after your first failure Balancing act Organise office work efficiently to ensure you complete everything and don't carry work home Leave Sundays for family and friends Involve your family in what you are excited about at work as it'll keep you connected with them If it's going to be a long at work, try meeting your family for lunch or coffee Make an extra effort to remember important family dates

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., -6-

bran muffins.

The man and woman were both 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day,their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth. 'What are the greens fees?' grumbled the old man.

'This is heaven ,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., -7-

laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man, 'this is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife 'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.

'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied, 'you can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'

'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.

'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..'

'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your damn bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!'

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., -8-

There was a remarkable moment during the recent Obama-Singh meeting in Washington that was barely captured by the cameras.

As the two leaders met for their one-on-one, Singh's principal assistant and note-taker was his private secretary Jaideep Sarkar, a young gun of the Indian Foreign Service.

No surprise there. And aiding Obama? Anish Goel, a senior staffer of the National Security Council and a rising star of the US foreign service.

Similarly, when the US side engaged New Delhi on Af-Pak issues, the Indians found, much to their surprise, that the Senior Defense Advisor to Richard Holbrooke, the Special Representative for Afghanistan and Pakistan was Vikram Singh.

It's a sight that has become increasingly common in Washington Indian-Americans and Americans of East Indian origin walking the corridors of power that were once an allAmerican domain, with an occasional black or latino interlude. It's a development neither New Delhi nor Washington want to read too much into - other than the fact that theUnited States, like India, has the rare ability to absorb foreigners, minorities, and immigrants into the mainstream without much effort, an idea that is both foreign and anathema to countries such as Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, and China. "That's just the way this country is," an IndianAmerican who now holds asenior position in the Obama administration said,recoiling at the idea of a story on the new tribe of desi pols. "Just as people of European, East Asian and African ancestry made their mark without a splash, Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., -9-

so too will people of Indian origin. To see that as anything else will be disservice to both India and America."

ARNIE TO ALBRIGHT Indeed, no one makes much of Arnold Schwarzenegger' s Austrian origin or Madeleine Albright's Czech lineage or Bill Richardson's Hispanic background.

The idea of America as a melting pot has advanced so much that no one even considers the fact that Barack Obama is, strictly speaking, ethnically, half Kenyan. In fact, Albright and Schwarzenegger could never become the US President because they were not born in the United States; Obama, who was born in the US, could, andso can Louisiana-born Bobby Jindal, despite their more� foreign" origins and looks. But try telling all this to the Pakistanis, who are openly agitated at what they see as the "Indian influence" in the US, or the Chinese, who are less demonstrative but are equally leery. Last month, ahead of Manmohan Singh's US visit, Pakistani ambassador to Washington Hussain, Haqqani produced 26 as the number of Indian-Americans serving in Obama's administration. "Pakistan is wary of the Indo-US relationship, which is robust and multifaceted," Haqqani told a meeting of US lawmakers and staffers."Facts like these naturally make Pakistan nervous." EDGE OVER CHINA Twenty six might include support staff, interns etc, but it's a fact that bama's has more Indian-Americans in senior positions than any _US government at least a dozen at last count. While there’s some talk ofObama's special regard for Indian-Americans (with overheated tales of his passion for desi cuisine and familiarity with itsculture), the fact isthere has been an incremental increase in the profile of Indian-Americans inthe administration, politics, and public life in successive presidencies from Clinton to Bush toObama, in keeping withtheir rising numbers (2.5 million now) and growingsuccess.

The Chinese are more numerous (3.2 million), but Indians, with their Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad.,

- 10 -

familiarity with Democratic traditions and better facility with English leading to better assimilation, seem to be doing well in the political sphere. While young professionals and pols of Indian-origin first began to dot the Hill as interns and staffers to US lawmakers in the1990s, the otherwise negative noughties have seen them, in large numbers,take giant positive strides into the administration, where many desi ber-whizzes are now makingand executing policies while their peer Indian-Americans on the Hill oversee legislative activity. Many Indian-American parents consider it a badge ofhonour to have kids serving as interns on the Hill Orin the White House. PAK WORRIED this has India's adversaries clearly worried. Time and again during the nuclear deal, Pakistanis moaned about the "Indian lobby" on the Hill doing the heavy-lifting and allying with the "Jewish lobby." Now, they fear the influence will extend into the administration. They should not have any reason to, though. Initial accounts of the spread of the "Indian influence" in Washington DC appear misplaced and exaggerated, with no sign that the first and second generation Indians in the administration are in any way favorable to New Delhi. For instance, Anish Goel, who received his PhD in chemical engineering from MIT, has in no way influenced the outcome of the US-India nuclear deal (still in limbo over the reprocessing issue) even though that is his area of expertise and he initially served as the Desk officer dealing with the subject in the State Department.

Similarly, Vikram Singh's influential role in Af-Pak policy making hasn't exactly endeared his boss Richard Holbrooke to New Delhi, which has balked at efforts to add "In" Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 11 -

to Af-Pak. If anything, the fact that they are of Indian origin may have made them even more self-conscious not to be seen as favoring India.

While many of the nearly one dozen Indian-Americans currently in the senior and mid-levels of the administration will go in and out of the government and the academic think tank spheres in a revolving door system that is typically American, a few will doubtless go on to occupy higher office.

Some may even choose to run for high office, as did Bobby Jindal, who was a policy wonk in the healthcare area before running for Congress and then for governor of Louisiana. In fact, standing outside the White House on a bleak, grey morning in November when Singh arrived for his ceremonial state visit, some scribes wondered how long it would be before a person of Indian-origin occupied the Oval Office.

The idea is not all that far-fetched. Jindal himself came pretty close to an office that is considered a heartbeat away from the Presidency when John McCain shortlisted him as a Republican vice-presidential running mate.

Eventually, he decided to go with Sarah Palin, but many American pundits think Jindal has a bright future in the Republican Party, particularly if he delivers in Katrina-struck Louisiana state. But while Jindal is one of few Indian-Americans in a Grand Old Party that is generally seen as Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 12 -

anti-immigrant, the Democratic Party is teeming with them.

Within months of coming to White House, Obama chose a slew of Indian-Americans, many of them from his campaign, for important jobs in his administration.

Two of his most significant choices were Aneesh Chopra to be the First Chief Technology Officer and Vivek Kundra as the Federal Chief Information Officer, appointments which endorsed the Indian presence in the technology sector. But there were also appointments in Obama's own specialty, law, a discipline where Indian-Americans are seen in high numbers now.

Among Obama's choices - Preet Bharara as the US Attorney for New York, a job previously held by Rudy Giuliani and seen as a stepping stone to a political career; Preeta Bansal, general counsel and senior policy advisor in the Office of Management and Budget; and Georgetown University Don Neal Katyal as principal deputy solicitor general.

By far the most high-profile Indian-American appointment came just ahead of Singh's visit when Obama named Rajiv Shah to head USAID, a job that will include disbursing massive foreign aid to Pakistan, which is already worried that the "Hinjews" are starting to control the US purse-string.

A whiz-kid who served as undersecretary for research, education and economics and chief scientist in the Agriculture Department before he was Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 13 -

bumped up to the sub-cabinet level appointment, Shah is among several desi science brains in the government, a list that includes Arun Majumdar, Director of the Advanced Research Projects Agency - Energy in the US Department of Energy.

While many of Obama's political appointees are from the academia, there is a separate stream of Indian-Americans which is coming up from the grassroots in the Democratic Party. Since Obama himself was a state legislator (from Illinois) before getting elected to the US Senate and then making the presidential bid after only four years there, he serves as an inspiration to lawmakers such as Satvir Choudhury (Minnesota Senate), and Swati Dandekar, Jay Goyal and Raj Goyle, all of whom are state level lawmakers and invitees to Obama's state dinner banquet for Manmohan Singh.

RUNNING FOR CONGRESS In fact, at least half dozen Indian-Americans are running for Congress in the 2010 _elections to the US House of Representatives, among them Raj Goyle (D-Kansas), Manan Trivedi, (D- Pennsylvania) , Ami Bera (D-California) , Ravi Sangisetty (DLousiana ), Reshma Sejauni (D-New York) and Surya Yalamanchili (I-Ohio ). Only Goyle among them is said to have a realistic chance to become the third US lawmaker of Indian origin after Dalip Singh Saund and Bobby Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 14 -

Jindal, but the fact that most aspirants are in the 27-40 age group augurs well for the Indian-American political future. Then there are others running for offices ranging from Governor (Nikki Haley Randhawa in South Carolina to Attorney General (Kamala Harris in California) to State Comptroller (Raja Krishnamoorthi, Illinois). Anyone could turn out to be a future desi Obama.

There are Indian-Americans who are widely tipped as lateral entrants at a future date - among them Fareed Zakaria, who has been spoken of as a putative Secretary of State, and Indra Nooyi, whose experience as CEO of Pepsi marks out her as a future appointee in the Department of Commerce.

So, to the question of a person of Indian-origin sitting behind the "Resolute Desk" in the Oval Office of the White Houseit would appear the answer is not if, but when. And when it happens, the Obama success in the US will be seen as the turning point in the political history of the country.

TOP INDIANS IN THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION RAJIV SHAH USAID administrator RICHARD VERMA Assistant secretary for legislative affairs at the state department RO KHANNA Deputy assistant secretary for domestic operations of the US and Foreign Commercial Service, International Trade Administration VIVEK KUNDRA Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad.,

- 15 -

Federal chief information officer ANEESH CHOPRA First chief technology officer ARUN MAJUMDAR Director of the Advanced Research Projects Agency Energy in the US department of energy PREET BHARARA US attorney for Southern District of New York NEAL KATYAL Principal deputy solicitor general RAJESH DE Deputy assistant attorney general, US department of justice SONAL SHAH > > Deputy assistant to the President, director, Office of SICP, Domestic Policy Council FARAH PANDITH US special representative to Muslim communities ANJU BHARGAVA Member, faith-based advisory council RAJEN ANAND Executive director, policy, USDA Canter for Nutrition and Promotion GRASSROOTS POLITICIANS TO WATCH RAJ GOYLE Democrat, Kansas KAMALA HARRIS District attorney, _San Francisco_ THOSE TO WATCH FROM BUSINESS AND MEDIA INDRA NOOYI CEO, PepsiCo FAREED ZAKARIA Editor of Newsweek International and host, CNN's GPS

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 16 -

Clues to happiness

EIGHT CLUES TO HAPPINESS by KHUSHWANT SINGH Having lived a reasonably contented life, I was musing over what a person should strive for to achieve happiness. I drew up a list of a few essentials which I put forward for the readers' appraisal.

1. First and foremost is GOOD HEALTH. If you do not enjoy good health you can never be happy.

Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct from your happiness.

2. Second, a HEALTHY BANK BALANCE. It need not run into crores but should be enough to provide for creature comforts and something to spare for recreation, like eating out, going to the pictures, travelling or going on holidays to the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be only demoralizing. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one's own eyes.

3. Third, a HOME OF YOUR OWN. Rented premises can never give you the snug feeling of a nest which is yours for keeps that a home provides: if it has a garden space, all the better.

Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, cultivate a sense of kinship with them.

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 17 -

4. Fourth, an UNDERSTANDING COMPANION, be it your spouse or a friend. If there are too many misunderstandings, they will rob you of your peace of mind. It is better to be divorced than to bicker all the time.

5. Fifth, LACK OF ENVY towards those who have done better than you in life, risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can be very corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.

6. Sixth, DO NOT ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE to descend on you for gup-shup. By the time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering.

7. Seventh, CULTIVATE SOME HOBBIES which can bring you a sense of fulfillment, such as gardening, reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks or to meet celebrities is a criminal waste of time.

8. Eighth, every morning and evening, devote 15 minutes to INTROSPECTION. In the morning, 10 minutes should be spent on stilling the mind and then five in listing things you have to do that day.

In the evening, five minutes to still the mind again, and ten to go over what you had undertaken to do.

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 18 -

Nathaniel Cotton (1721-1788) summed up my views on the subject in one verse: �If solid happiness we prize within our breast this jewel lies And they are fools who roam the world has nothing to bestow From our own selves our joys must flow And that dear hut, our home.�

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 19 -

What counts is attitude.....

There was man whom I met in Pune. He was sitting by the wayside, and he had no legs, only stumps beneath his hips.

"What happened to you?" I asked him.

"Nothing!" he replied. "I was born this way."

"May I ask who takes care of you, my friend?"

I enquired.

"My mother - and above all, God." "Do you find it difficult, inconvenient to move about?"

"Do you find it difficult and inconvenient that you don"t have wings?" he asked me. "Don"t you think it would be far better if you could fly on your own, rather than wait to catch a plane?"

"Life is a matter of habit," he added. "If you start complaining, there is so much to complain about. It is the attitude that counts."

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 20 -

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad.,

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS AND INTELLIGENT ANSWERS! Question and the Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry, they are IAS Officers now.

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!

(UPSC Topper) Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS) Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?

A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS) Q. How can you lift an elephant with Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 21 -

one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand!

(UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?

A. No Problem , He sleeps at night.

(UPSC IAS Rank 98) Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?

A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.

(UPSC IAS Rank 2) Q. What looks like half apple?

A: The other half. (UPSC – IAS Topper) Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?

A: Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented?

A: It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?

A: Liquid (UPSC 33Rank) Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 22 -

Interviewer said “I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!”

The boy thought for a while and said, “my choice question.”

is

one

really

difficult

“Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.

“What comes first, Day or Night?”

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on his answer, but he thought for a while and said, “It’s the DAY sir!”

“How” the interviewer asked, “Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”

He was selected for IIM! Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 23 -

Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many or more important decisions regarding USA nation's history as any of the other 42 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.

The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri. His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there.

When he retired from office in 1952, his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year..

After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service following them.

When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don't want me. You want the office of the President, and Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., Thanks to Internet

- 24 -

that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale."

Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise."

As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.

Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale. (sic.

Illinois ) Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician.

And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!

I say dig him up and clone him!!

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 25 -

What is confidence?

A hypothetical situation where 20 CEOs board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature pilot less technology: It is an unscrewed aircraft.

Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system. Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse

One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed.

Asked why he is so confident in this first unscrewed flight, he replies : "If it is the same software that is developed by my company's IT systems department, this plane won't even take off.�!!!!

That is called Confidence!!

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., Thanks to Internet

- 26 -

Are you an engineer?

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor and said: Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board.

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.

Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only..

Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.

Man: I know I am a human but litsen to my complaints first:

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 27 -

Doctor: OK. Tell me.

Man: I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.

I get up in the morning like a horse I go to work running like a deer I work all the day like a donkey I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.

I wag my tail in front of all my bosses I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.

I am like a rabbit before my wife

Doctor: are you an engineer?

Man: Yes Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me in the beginning itself that you are an engineer. Come man, no one Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 28 -

can treat you better than me.

Marriage at heaven and life at??

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

- David Bissonette After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

- Sacha Guitry Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad.,

- 29 -

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll b happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become philosopher.

- Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Thanks to Internet

- Anonymous Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad.,

- 30 -

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?

- Dumas I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

- Sigmund Freud Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., - 31 -

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad.,

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

- Sigmund Freud 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'

- Sam Kinison - 32 -

Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad.,

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

- James Holt McGavra Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you'reright, shut up.

- Patrick Murra - 33 -

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

- Nash You know what I did before I married?

Anything I wanted to.

- Anonymous Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad., Thanks to Internet

- 34 -

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.

Then we met.

- Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

- Rodney Dangerfield Thanks to Internet

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad.,

- 35 -

Compiled & Prepared by A.Narayana Prasad.,

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

- Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

- Anonymous Thanks to Internet

- 36 -

- 37 -