Bibliophilia Issue three Promises
ISSUE THREE Trenz Pruca JANUARY 2015 24 September 2014
Our resolutions and advice on how to keep yours
The meaning of promises, from dictionary to morals Plus short fiction, book reviews and more
ISSUE THREE - JANUARY 2015
Regular Features
THE MEANING OF PROMISES, FROM DICTIONARY TO MORALS PAGE 22
OUR EDITOR SHARES HER RESOLUTIONS, AND HELPS YOU KEEP YOURS PAGE 13
A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR
Contents Our Contributors Page 2 Our Featured Artist Page 4
A very happy new year one and all. I’d like to take this opportunity to wish you happy holidays, though I have been told off for being ‘too American’ by saying that. But my opinion is, I don't know which holidays you’re celebrating, so I hope you enjoyed whichever ones it was! This month we have more great content from our regulars and from writers and artists around the world! Our featured artist on page 4, Carol, comes all the way from Denmark! We have new short fiction and all the usual features, so have another mince pie and tuck in. I wish you all the best with your resolutions, and you can read all about my own on page x. Until next time.
NOTE TAKING APPS FOR WHEN YOU’RE OUT AND ABOUT PAGE 6
Our guide to the best writing programs Page 6 ’Coming Clean’ flash fiction Page 8
Tearable Puns Page 25 Submission guidelines and next month’s theme Page 26
Follow us on Twitter: @bibliophiliamag
Book of the Month Page 10 I Solemnly Swear Page 13 What We’re Promising Page 15 ‘The Price of a Promise’ short story Page 17 Prompts page Page 20 Promises Page 22
Mac
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bibliophiliamag. wordpress.com
ISSUE THREE - JANUARY 2015
CONTRIBUTORS A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE WORDS
Editor
Our Regulars Natasha McGregor - Editor Having written various genres since she was a teenager Natasha is looking forward to a new challenge in editing Bibliophilia. She is also working on her first full length novel and writing a collection of poetry. Twitter: @Natasha2Mc
Literary Reviewer
http://natasha2mcgregor.wordpress.com
Richard Southworth - Literary Reviewer Following prolific but not terribly original writing as a child, Richard got back into proper writing in 2009 by competing in National Novel Writing Month. He currently has eight NaNoWriMo victories under his belt, in addition to writing book reviews and the occasional short story. Twitter: @PneRichard
Features Writer
http://velociraptor256.wordpress.com/
Josie Alford - Features Writer Josie is 21 and lives in Bristol after finishing a degree in English Literature. She writes poetry and is saving money for a masters in creative writing. Her blog is full of all of her poetry and she aims to get into more performance poetry – follow her on twitter for updates! Twitter: @AlfordJmo
Features Writer
http://thefaultymanufacturing.blogspot.co.uk
E"eMay - Features Writer Elle May lives in Lancashire but her heart is travelling around the world. She lives with her parents, sister, and any visitors who extend their stay. She spends her days quietly thinking or loudly voicing her profound thoughts hoping someone will understand what she is saying. http://masiejane.wordpress.com/ 
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Guest Writers Leigh Keating - Short Fiction Leigh aspires to be a writer/psychologist/rock star. She writes novels, scripts, and can speed write flash fiction on anything in under 30 minutes. She lives in Lancaster with her husband and two sons where she’s editing a novel while completing her MSc in Research Methods. She may have to compromise on the rockstar thing. Twitter: @LeighKeating http://www.leighkeating.me/
Anna Nazarova-Evans - Flash Fiction The flash piece attached was long listed for Flash 500 competition in 2013. I completed NanoWrimo this year for the first time and wrote 50,100 words. I am planning to take part in it every year from now on. I have done two writing courses at the Bristol Folk house. Twitter: @AnitchkaNE
Carol We"art - Featured Artist An illustrator from Czech Republic, Carol has been studying Art history at university in Czech Republic for three years and is now starting her own freelancer career. http://carolwellart.com/
‘Red Fox’ ©Carol Wellart 2014
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Carol Wellart This month’s featured artist
‘Tim’ ©Carol Wellart 2014
Tell us a bit about your work I think that everything started when I was five and I opened my parent’s book about Salvador Dalí. His work, this masterpiece, absolutely mesmerised me and at that moment I knew that I wanted to be an artist, that I wanted to be a painter, wanted to create this pleasing pleasing feeling in everyone's heart. Now I'm 23 and nothing's changed very much. I was studying Art history in Czech Republic for three years. I love history but the process of creating, the thrill when the picture gains its form, that is an unspeakable feeling for me. In my life I have tried almost every art technique, now my style is pretty similar to comics or art nouveau.
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Where do your pictures come from? The big inspiration for my work is this wonderful world. I really like to keep some piece of realism in my illustrations. Also, I'm a big fan of classical and modern literature, so a lot of inspiration comes to me from writers, from books. If I could name some influential artists it would be probably be the secession and art nouveau Czech painter Alfonz Mucha, or modern artist Ken Taylor from Melbourne.
What is your favourite medium to work in? I really like the classical oil on canvas method, and the old graphic procedure, but now I usually use combined technique of hand drawn, scanning and digital. ‘Tarja’ ©Carol Wellart 2014
Carol’s work can be seen on her website at http://carolwellart.com and can be purchased from http://society6.com/carolwellart. You can follow her and see her work on Instagram and Twitter.
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WRITE NOW WITH… This month, Elle May compares Notebooks Apps you can take around with you. They can come at anytime, anywhere, driving in the car during rush hour, walking the dog on an early misty morning, at 3am in your warm bed, in a crowded cafe whilst sipping a latte. No I’m not talking about the men in white coats, but that’s always a possibility, I’m talking about flashes of inspiration. Yes those random particles of creativity which pass through our brains like long lost dreams only to disappear in the harsh backlight of the computer screen. The more organised writer always carries a notepad and pen to capture these precious moments. The more disorganised writer, like me, will grab anything they can write with (including lipstick) off any unsuspecting person and scribble THE IDEA on any surface which can be removed easily and taken home (caution: pub management can get unreasonable about the removal of toilet mirrors) I think we can conclude that a handy notebook program would be beneficial to any writer, preferably one that fits in your pocket or bag. So I am leaving Harvey, my temperamental computer, behind this month while I embark on an intrepid expedition into the world of mobile phone apps. I will be taking my android phone, Mum’s iPhone, various chargers and plenty of provisions, as there is an endless supply of mobile apps available to download. Thankfully downloading a virus will not be an issue, providing I use the official app stores. The first app I downloaded was Evernote, described as ‘the modern workspace that helps you be your most productive self’, it sounds promising. The download was quick, the app easy to use and it has a cute little elephants head as an icon. The little + sign at
the bottom lets you add any sort of note possible, handwritten notes, text, images, file attachments, webpages and audio notes. You can add multiple books to organise your notes. You can add reminders. And you can share the lot with other people. I downloaded the app to my sisters’ phone and we spent the rest of the afternoon together on the sofa making shopping lists, Christmas lists, and work notes to share with each other. Between this and Facebook we will never have to speak to each other again! The layout is straight forward and uncluttered, viewed as a list of notebooks. Evernote prompts you when you try something new as well as sending regular tips via email. Any information entered is stored on your device and then saved in a cyber cloud somewhere when you connect to the internet. I fell in love with the web snapshots. It’s quicker then writing out the information by hand and you don’t need to remember how to do the copy pasting thing. After saving masses of information from Wikipedia for my current novel I opened my newly created notebook only to find it empty. Puzzled and bewildered I tried adding them all again. Five minutes later I’m still puzzled as the notebook is still empty. Enlightenment arrived in the form of my sister who came storming through asking why I was downloading pages from Wikipedia to the shopping list. I looked in the shopping list and sure enough there was all my research. After some trial and error I realised to move the note I had to tap the notebook name at the top and change it. The one thing I hated was the audio notes. The quality of the recording is fine but when I tapped the audio note icon I fell silent.
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When faced with answering machines, audio tape recorders and radio presenters even the chattiest of people are struck dumb. I tried Evernote out on Mums iPhone and the results were much the same. You can also access Evernote from your PC. Harvey felt a bit neglected so I downloaded Evernote into his mad cyber-brain without a problem. But it wasn’t as compact and tidy on my computer as it did on my phone. I was ready to declare Evernote the victorious winner of digital organisers after spending the rest of the day trawling through various apps looking for an alternative notebook program. Many of the notepad and writing apps have limited functions and aren’t as flexible as Evernote. In the end I selected Google Keep and Microsoft One Note to download. To download Google Keep you first have to set up a Google account, it’s easy if time consuming but Google talks you through each step. If you have an android phone chances are you’ve set one up when you switched it on for the first time. Google Keep can do everything Evernote can do plus a bit more. Besides being able to add text notes, list, photos and reminders Google Keep will also transcribe your audio notes. It can also add location reminders to prompt you when you are near a set location. It’s very clever, probably because its part of Google and it can pinpoint your location through GPS (Global Positioning System), which is scary. I have switched off my GPS; you never know who is watching you. Google Keep is like having a virtual box of multi-coloured sticky notes, each note added is viewed as a colour changeable square which you can move around, and you can archive your old notes to make room for new ones. But just like sticky notes, you can’t make them into a notebook and somewhere along the way I suspect you’re going to lose one. I tried it out on Harvey and it looks and acts exactly the same on a computer as it does on a phone. It’s easy to access, just log in to your Google account from your Google browser, select Google apps, and then select Google Keep.
You can’t download the program straight to your computer; it can only be used when you’re Googling on the internet. If you are the proud owner of the latest Apple iPhone then Google Keep isn’t available for you to download. This is because your phone is in league with the Microsoft Corporation and Bing, Google’s rival. You can download One Note by Microsoft, but again you will have to sign up for a Microsoft account. After commandeering Mums iPhone, cracking her security codes (she can’t remember her passwords) and setting up email, Microsoft and Apple accounts, I downloaded One Note. Was it worth it? Well to be honest, no, I don’t think it was. It is slow to download and creating a notebook is like waiting for paint to dry. You can add text and images but there is no option for audio notes or web snapshots. The notebooks are arranged like index cards but I couldn’t find an option to change the colour. And I couldn’t change the language from English US to English UK, one of my pet hates. I tried the One Note app on my Android phone but the results weren’t good so I uninstalled it. Again the download was slow and the index card layout had disappeared, I was left with a boring looking list. I also tried using it online with Harvey but even though it was easy to follow and use, it was still slow. On the whole I wasn’t impressed. Thinking I had missed something, I read the customer reviews as it had been rated 4/5. Most of the reviewers owned iphones, ipads and Mac computers; they highly rated the programs compatibility with all their devices. This was the problem; regrettably my funds will not stretch to the purchasing of new Mac and Apple devices solely for the purpose of this article. I’ve been using Evernote for two weeks now and I wondered how I managed without it. I’m not sure that it has made my writing more productive but it’s still early days. I haven’t, however, forgotten to get the milk when I’ve been to the supermarket. I’ve also kept Google Keep, I like the colourful sticky notes and it will let me send any notes in full to Evernote. As for One Note, well maybe I’m being harsh. Any
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writers out there who are using Mac and Apple devices give One Note a try and let me know what you think. Evernote
One Note
Google Keep
Ease of use
5 - Mobile app and PC download both easy to use
5 - Very easy to use
5 - Very easy
Visual
5 - Simple but not boring
4 - Nice index card layout when using an Apple or Mac device, I’m not keen on the pastel colours
4 - Nice sticky note layout which doesn’t differ between a PC and mobile device
3 - Too slow for a mobile app
3 - Quick download but you have to sign up and log into Google to access it on your PC
Download 4 - Quick and easy speed
Features
5 - Everything you need 3 - No capability for for taking notes taking audio notes or web clips
5 - More features that Evernote including audio transcribe
Technobabble
5 - None
5 - None
5 - None
Instruction 4 - You don’t need one 3 - No manual as it is a manual to use this program but mobile app there is a help button if you need it
3 - No manual, just prompts
Overall
4 - Mainly because of the audio transcibe and colourful notes. Main downfall is that it isn’t available to Apple users
5 - Compatible with all devices, easy to use and really handy
3 - Although it is available for any device, it is best suited for Apple and Mac users
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Coming Clean by Anna Nazarova-Evans Through the gap in our favourite bench I could see the ground filthy with cigarette butts and bird droppings. The board under us read: “Marie + Liz + Cookie = Friends 4eva”. This is where we came for one of you to have a rant. Your bangles jingled every time you brought that rollie to your mouth; the smoke pinching my nostrils, stinging my eyes, making my clothes stink. “C’mon, Marie, what is it this time?” I said. “The thing about Cookie,” you said after a long drag, “is that she always tries to stitch you up. Last night she got me a gram but didn’t have any change from my fifty. Now I know that Bill cuts her some slack cause she’s skint. Bill and her always do a line straight after the deal. Now do you really think she'd take that from her own blow?” A couple was arguing outside the club. “Not again,” the guy was saying to his girlfriend. I felt a strange affiliation with him. Was this going to be me in five years time, still being cheated by my best friends? “She’s our mate,” I said and picked the dirt from under my nails. I was craving a long hot bath and fluffy towels. “No, I know, I know,” you said, making a sign with your hand as if to stay ‘stop’. “But she just ain't trustworthy. You do know that, Liz, don't you? It's me and you, babe. You can't trust this lot.” “That's what she said about you,” I said. “About me?” Your face looked shocked but I didn't hear any surprise in your voice. I had always thought that you and Cookie were good souls, caught up by this perverted world, its priorities distorted beyond all recognition. By then I was starting to think that maybe the only good soul amongst us was me. “I should have dumped you a long time ago,” the guy from the couple cried. At this my mind was made up. I got up and brushed myself off. “Where you off to?” you asked. “I've just got some stuff off Bill myself. I can sell you half if you like, but no more. I've got to have enough for the rest of the week.” Your words made me feel dirty. I knew you went through three grams a week easily. “Bye,” I said. “I don't want to see you or Cooks again. You’re all full of shit. I quit.” I started to walk away. It was when I looked back that I realised how long it had been since I looked at Marie properly. She was hunched over like an old lady and when she smiled apologetically I could see the gaps in her teeth. “So, I'll see you tomorrow at Cooks’ then, yeah?” Marie said before she inhaled the filter and threw it down on the ground to join many others. I shook my head and walked on.
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Book Of The Month
The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce
Reviewer Richard Southworth looks at a poignant tale of travel, adventure, and vulnerability
Harold Fry is a very unlikely hero: he’s an old man living in Kingsbridge, who hasn’t done an awful lot with his life, and whose marriage to his wife Maureen lost anything resembling affection long ago. But the status quo is abruptly broken when Harold gets a letter out of the blue from his old work colleague Queenie, who is dying of cancer in a care home in Berwick-uponTweed. Harold leaves the house to post a response – but instead of going home, decides he’s going to walk to Berwick there and then. In his head, as long as he keeps walking, Queenie will keep living. And so we follow Harold on his impossible journey from one side of England to the other, while Maureen remains at home and struggles to comprehend what is
Published by Black Swan, RRP £7.99 ISBN 9780552778091 happening. I’m going to say it right away: this is one of the absolute best novels I’ve read this year. The concept alone has so many elements that make for a brilliant story. Obviously, there’s travel. There’s the totally spontaneous decision to answer the call to adventure – something, I think, many of us would like to do. And there’s the inherent vulnerability of our elderly hero, and the magnitude of the task he’s set himself. It’s not a difficult read: the prose is simple and nothing special. You do notice, however, that the tone gradually shifts as the book goes on: it starts out as rather light-hearted (aside, of course, from Queenie’s troubles that motivate Harold in the first place), but this changes as the story develops. It’s not just the inevitable difficulties that Harold
And so we follow Harold on his impossible journey from one side of English to the other, while Maureen remains at home
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experiences on his walk; he also has fragmented flashbacks which look at how his marriage to Maureen deteriorated, the troubles he had with his son David, and his history with Queenie. This is another story where things look simple at the beginning, only to become increasingly complex as a more complete picture of Harold’s life is formed. The story has plenty of pleasant, charming scenes – but when it gets harsh, it doesn’t pull any punches. Yet none of these changes in mood feel forced or disorientating. Rachel Joyce constructs the novel pretty much perfectly for the story she wants to tell. At the beginning, Harold’s encounters with strangers are fairly detailed; but right when these encounters start to get slightly repetitive, the story picks up the pace and compresses more time and distance into less pages. And this feels perfectly fine, as the major changes and revelations that Harold goes through occur at a similar pace. There’s also a twist to Harold’s past that I saw coming from some distance away – but unlike most twists, I think you’re supposed to see it coming. I think it’s supposed to dawn on the reader gradually rather than
being a big shock, and if so, that’s clever writing. The characters are handled just as well. We are introduced to Harold as a boring, unimpressive, introverted man – but you can’t describe him as generic. It’s actually explored in the flashbacks why Harold turned out the way he is, and the effect that his character has had on his relationships with Maureen, David and others. Not to mention, he goes through some real emotional turmoil on his walk, bringing to mind what Gandalf says to Bilbo Baggins before his adventure: even if he comes back, he will not be the same. Maureen, meanwhile, goes through plenty of anguish and introspection of her own; she’s so used to having Harold around that being alone and having to go out in the big wide world that way makes her very uncomfortable. Most of Harold’s encounters with other people are brief, without him even learning their names – but they’re certainly a diverse bunch who leave an impression, particularly with the more depressing or disturbing elements of their backstories. They also all have their own minds and interpret Harold’s journey from their own biased perspectives, as you would expect from real people. The diversity of the people Harold meets is fitting because the wider world is one of
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the central themes of the story; Harold increasingly looks at things from a wide perspective, appreciating what is greater than himself. While it is faith that keeps him going, it is faith in something other than God, even though God is brought up by other characters. Given the theme of this issue of Bibliophilia, it’s also interesting to look at this story in the context of promises. The whole thing starts with Harold promising to walk to Berwick to see Queenie, and this resolution is thoroughly explored. What sounded simple to begin with
gradually becomes far more complicated. Harold struggles physically and mentally; he is tempted by the options to either give up altogether or take the easy route and drive to Berwick; he wonders just why he’s doing this at all, as do other people. There’s nothing making him do this, just his own will. Of course, many people who have made difficult, self-motivated promises will have experienced similar feelings – people who took part in National Novel Writing Month, for one thing. When making our New Year’s Resolutions, there’s a quote from the book it’s good to bear in mind: “In order to succeed, he (Harold) must remain true to the feeling that had inspired him in the first place.” There are so many layers and things to discuss in The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry that any reading group looking for book ideas would do well to put it on their list. By the time I got to the end, I felt very emotional, and very affected by it. It’s a hard-hitting but ultimately optimistic story; I think most readers will find something to relate to in it, and it might just change your perspective on the world a little.
‘The Goonies’ ©Carol Wellart 2014
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I SOLEMNLY SWEAR Promises are hard to make, and even harder to keep. But roll on January 1st and we're all making them. You want to quit smoking, drink less, eat better. Your motives are good - to get healthy and save money or whatever else - but why do you really make these promises? You don't make them at any other time of the year. Our Editor, Mac, shares her resolutions.
I admit, I bow to peer pressure as much as the next man. I have my own list of resolutions for this year. After all, a new year seems a natural point to make a new start. Some may say that they are a little selfish and maybe even somewhat short sighted, but they are mine nonetheless. Let me share them with you.
READ MORE This may seem a little obvious and maybe a little vague, but I have two print magazine
subscriptions, one digital magazine subscription, an ebook reader and a whole library of unread books. So often the print magazines get briefly flicked through or sometimes thrown straight in the recycler when the next one comes through the door. The digital magazines clog up my iPad. But I do enjoy reading them - that is, after all, why I subscribe to them. So resolution number one is to read a little bit every day even if it's only a page.  
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WRITE MORE This is a resolution I make every year, and it usually lasts little a while before life and work and 'other stuff ' gets in the way. But this year I would like to write just a little bit more. I'm not going to be specific and say 'I will write a poem every day', or 'I will write at least 1,000 words whenever I sit at my desk'. This is, for me, merely saying to myself that even if it's only a snippet of novel, the beginning of a blog post, I will put some words on a page each day.
DON'T WORRY Life is tough. Sometimes things go wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. That's fine. When your nan gets rushed into hospital, or your car gets a flat tire, or Jimmy's football practice gets cancelled and you lose that hour you thought you had to yourself, you won't be thinking about keeping your seemingly (at this stressed and hectic point in time) empty promises to yourself. How can I expect That's ok too. Life everyone to be happens, and behind me when the most important they don't know thing is that where I'm heading. you live it. We're not here for that long in the grand scheme of things, so I say just go with the flow.
COMMIT But, at the same time, I fully intend to commit to the things I have said here. I'm making these resolutions because, ultimately, either I haven't been doing them and I should, or I've said I will and I still haven't. Whatever my reasons, I know that if I keep them simple (see how each one is only one or two words?) I can, firstly, remember them, and secondly, keep to them. Life is worth living, but what makes it special is spending time doing what you love.
SHARE
‘Rush’ ©Carol Wellart 2014
Finally, as you may have noticed, I'm sharing this year's resolutions with potentially a lot of people. Why bother, you may ask. Again, I'm keeping it simple. Shame. The more people who know about my intentions, the bigger the blush when I fail at them. Which I won't, because (second reason for sharing) I have all of your support. I'll read and write and everything else because the people I care about, the ones who are there for me and help me reach my goals, know what those goals are. How can I expect everyone to be behind me when they don't know where I'm heading. To finish, I offer you some advice. Don't make an the first resolution that comes to mind. Think long and hard, and ask yourself, what do I need to do to make my life better? How can I make my own happiness? Take little steps. Even a marathon runner puts one foot in front of the other.
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WHAT WE'RE PROMISING Mac My promises this year are short and simple, and I’ve explained most of them in my article on page X. I think my most important promise this year is to enjoy life and write about it more. The time we are given is precious, and I don’t personally document enough the great things that happen to me. A new journal is in order as well, I think!
Elle May I managed to keep last years resolution, to write on my blog at least once a month, so this year I'm making another small one. To write, complete and edit 6 short stories.
As we all know, the new year is a time for new beginnings. Here our contributors share their writing-related resolutions.
Carol I don’t think that I ever made New Year's resolutions or specific plans for another year. But at the end of January I am planning a long trip to Thailand with my partner and I'm so excited because we want to stay there for a little while. There would be so much inspiration for creative work.
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Josie In 2014 I wrote a collection of sonnets for my dissertation. It rather puts the pressure on 2015 to step it up. My New Year’s writing resolution is to keep the momentum and build a strong portfolio of poetry to support my MA application.
‘Flora’ ©Carol Wellart 2014
Anna Next year I would like to heavily edit and polish off both of the short stories I have recently finished writing. I would also like to complete another NanoWrimo and write more substantial stuff rather than things I have to edit out later!
Leigh I set myself a writing challenge every year, so I’ve got hundreds of thousands of words keeping each other company on my hard-drive. 2015 is the year I promise to edit some of them and get myself out there. I’m way overdue my first rejection letter!
Richard My main writing-based resolution is to take one of my existing novels and actually give it a proper edit to render it publishable. I also want to write at least one short story a month, and read at least 40 books! And those are just my writing-related ones - 2015 should be a busy year.
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THE PRICE OF A PROMISE BY LEIGH KEATING
Kitty let herself in through the kitchen door, throwing her school bag and keys onto table with more force than usual. Stupid Kyle, she thought. And stupid Alice. She still had over an hour before her mum would get back from work. She'd go mad if she knew Kitty had wasted a fortnight's dinner money on what she thought was a ridiculous fad.
Kitty tipped the contents of her bag out onto the table, throwing boring old algebra o to one side, and picked out her new purchases. Summoning for Idiots ™. She could have bought it cheaper online, but Kitty couldn't wait. The thought of going back to school tomorrow and seeing them walking the halls together it wasn't worth it, even for free delivery. The glossy cover read:
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'Master Summoning Rituals in five easy steps! Otherworldly contract law for beginners Included: Free ritual CD! Chant along at home' Kitty rifled through the pages. There was a lot of small print. About half of the book, in fact. But it was the second half of the book, so Kitty assumed if they wanted her to read it that badly they would have put it first. She jumped right in at Chapter 3: Summoning your first demon. She quickly copied out the summoning circle from the book in chalk, onto her mum's black slate floor. Next was the candles, red all the way through as specified. Not those inferior white ones with one red layer on the outside. Apparently demons are candle connoisseurs and would easily be able to tell the difference. Candles and circle done, now all she needed was the ritual. She pulled the CD out off the back cover and loaded it into her mum's old hi-fi. The ritual track kicked in immediately, accompanied by an eerily atmospheric string quartet. Kitty tried to read along but the latin words might as well have been Klingon as far as her tongue was concerned. She stuttered her way through every 'daemon dominus' until the strings rose to a crescendo. In a dramatic burst of gold light from the candles like tiny fireworks, the demon appeared. He wasn't quite what Kitty had been expecting. His skin was very red, and he did have curvy, ram-like horns, and his eyes were as black as primordial tar. But he was only twofeet tall and completely naked aside from a pinstriped waistcoat and paisley tie. He glared at Kitty. "You've got to be kidding me," he said. He spoke with an American accent, which Kitty found odd. "I just got finished with a summoning in Portland two minutes ago. What's a demon gotta do to get a decent coffee break around here?" "Um..." Flummoxed, Kitty consulted the instructions. 'Once summoned, treat the demon with reverence and respect. Try the sample greeting provided in the resource box below:' "Oh mighty infernal one from beyond the pits-" she read.
"Yeah yeah, spare me the script please, sweetheart," he said. "My ritual is the first exercise in there and that damn book was published eight years ago. Trust me when I tell you I know the drill," he said, flicking his forked tail back and forth like an agitated cat. "So what do you want? Money? Power? I can't do X-Factor. I've already promised out all the winner slots for the next 80 years so don't even ask." "I don't want that," she said. "There's this boy." Azul's face softened. "Ah, isn't there always." He sat down cross-legged in the circle and looked at her attentively. "Go on then, what did he do?" Kitty felt compelled to sit down too, like somehow her secrets would be safe inside the circle. "He promised we'd be together forever," she said. "He told me he loved me, swore he'd never leave me..." Hot tears stung her eyes again as she replayed the moment he broke her heart for the millionth time that day. "He dumped me by text message," she sobbed. "Aw, poor sweet child," he said, almost sounding sincere. "Humans are awful at keeping their words, aren't they. Promises get broken as easily as spiderwebs." Somewhere in those black wells of eyes Kitty could see a terrible sadness in the creature at the thought, but just as quickly he seemed to shake it away. "So what did you want me to do about it? Revenge or reconciliation? It's always one or the other." "I do want him back," said Kitty. "Can you do that?" Azul grinned. Kitty hadn't noticed how sharp his teeth were before. His mouth was like a jackal's. Could she been in any danger? The book was recommended for ages 15 and over. "Piece of cake, sweetheart," he said. "Now let's talk terms. I'll make you the standard new customer offer. I promise to get you back your boyfriend and you promise to burn that wretched summoning book the moment I do and you never call me again." The book lay open on Kitty's lap. The demon twitched visibly when she glanced at it. Was there something in there he didn't want her to see? There it was, printed in all capitals so it had to be important:
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'DO NOT ACCEPT HIS FIRST OFFER!' "Um, no," she said. "Curse that infernal idiot's guide!" howled Azul. He swiped at the air in frustration, slamming his fist into the invisible boundary made by the circle. "Fine, keep the damn book. I can't sit around all day negotiating though," he sighed. "I'll give you the same deal all the others beat me down to, okay?" "What's the deal?" "One day. It's the lowest I can go, I swear." "What do you mean? How can I give you one day?" "It's just one day of your time. One day during which you will have to do something for me. Unless it turns out I don't need anything from you, in which case I'll just knock it off the end." He rushed through that last part so quickly Kitty thought she must have misheard him. "Wait. What?" "I'll knock it off the end," he repeated slowly. "Whenever you were meant to die, you'll just die a day earlier if I've not already collected. It's no big deal, you won't even miss it. What's a single day when your eighty-three and you've got your true love at your side?" "I don't know. What are you going to do with this day?" "It's all right there in the book. Chapter 7," he told her. "Go on, I'll wait." 'Chapter 7: Demon deals and currency Human debt is a valuable commodity in demon society and is often traded like financial debt on Earth. Demons with control over large amounts of debt are often highly respected and given elevated status, so it is not unusual for them to accept promises in lieu of payment, even if they are unlikely to collect...'
"My time is like money?" Kitty asked. "No," said Azul. "Your promise of time is like money, and not very much money I have to say. A day from a kid like you would probably get me a pint. Sure, it will go up a bit with inflation, and if you actually grow up to be a valuable member of society it might be worth a bit more one day. So what do you say?" He popped out a razor sharp nail and carved a neat line in his palm. Blood blossomed up through the gash and dripped onto the floor as he head his hand towards her. "Shake on it?" She was already close enough to touch him. All she had to do was lean forward. Kitty froze. "I can't put my hand out of the circle, kid. You have to put yours in." Kitty imagined Kyle kissing Alice around the side of the gym, the way he'd sworn he'd only ever kiss her. She closed her eyes and thrust her hand into the circle. It was over in a second. Kitty barely felt a thing. The mark of his claw wasn't more than a scratch. Just enough to draw a few drops of blood, then he gently shook her hand. "Well, kid, that's it. The deal is done." The demon rose to his feet, brushing the chalk dust off his backside. "You'll have your beau back by morning. You just sit tight and keep doing whatever it is you've been doing. Maybe read some more of that wonderful book. Don't forget to go online and give it 5-stars now," he said with a thumbs up. The candles flickered, then as one they snuffed out and the circle was empty once more. Trembling, Kitty looked back down at the book. There were hundreds of books in this range in the shops, and Kitty had never really thought of them having an author, but the name was printed on the front, small and unobtrusive in the bottom lefthand corner: A. Daemon. He'd written the book himself ? Kitty felt a panic rising and she suddenly doubted her choice. She'd only given him a day. Why go to so much trouble for a stupid worthless day? Then Kitty saw that answer, like so many others, had been right in front of her the whole time, printed on the cover. 'International bestseller Over 10 million copies sold!'
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ISSUE THREE - JANUARY 2015
First line: I told you hiding it in the cake was a bad idea‌ What is one thing nobody knows about you, because nobody cared to ask?
Prompts Page Have you hit a dead end? Or just need some new ideas? Look no further - just choose an image, quote or exercise from the page and start writing. Try experimenting with a form you don’t usually write in.
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ISSUE THREE - JANUARY 2015
Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering ‘it will be happier’. Alfred Lord Tennyson
Look in my face; my name is Mighthave-been I am also called No-more, Too-late, Farewell Dante Gabriel Rossetti From ‘The Nevermore’ (1828 1882)
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ISSUE THREE - JANUARY 2015
Promises When columnist Josie found out about the theme of promises for the New Year’s edition, she decided to do a bit of research on them; the definition, the origins, other people’s ideas on promises and what it means in the context of New Year’s Resolutions and her life. In the process she thought she would also impart some easy tips on essay writing . Promises are pretty common and are often involved in rites of passage throughout life: people promise to love each other for the rest of their lives; Brownies promise to do their best and every year people make promises to themselves and other people that they are going to do something to better themselves for the next 365 days. But as we all know these promises don’t always work out: fifty percent of marriages end in divorce; when I was a Brownie I was distinctly indifferent about the tasks we were set; and the vast majority New Year’s Resolutions never even make it to the end of January. So if we don’t do what we say we will, what does a promise actually mean? Like any self-respecting English student I turned to the dictionary. According to Oxford Dictionaries online, a promise is “a declaration or assurance that one will do something or that a particular thing will happen.” So one can promise to do or not do something. The promise itself does not guarantee the outcome: one can assure as much as one damn well pleases but it does not necessarily mean one will do it. Promise also means “the quality of
potential excellence” for example: it could be said that the New Year holds promise. It is true that 2015 has the potential to be amazing, however like the promises we make to each other it is not guaranteed; 2015 also has the potential to be bloody awful. The word promise comes from the Latin “promittiere”; pro meaning forward and mittiere meaning send. I think the significant thing to take from this is the forward part – a promise concerns the future and not the present. When you make a promise you send your words forward, they are an obligation for futureyou not present-you. Admittedly this does seem rather bleak, especially as making a promise is not a guarantee of fulfilling said promise – to quote House “everybody lies.”
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ISSUE THREE - JANUARY 2015
But there is hope! A promise shows that you are thinking about the future. If you make a promise to someone it shows that at least for the moment you want to stick around to keep that promise. At a wedding, a couple promises to love each other until death; while half of these promises are broken it means something in that one moment of promise surely? I’d like to think so anyway. In the 1907 poem “The Cremation of Sam McGee”, Robert W Service describes a promise as a “debt unpaid”. If this is true it is no surprise that the economy is in such a state – the powers that be make so many promises to gain more power with no real intention of keeping their word that the whole lot of them are in a state of moral bankruptcy. I can only apologise dear readers, I shall not take my political rant any further. However it is an interesting idea that if you promise someone something you are in their debt until it is fulfilled. If a parent promises to go to a child’s play they owe it to them to do so. When you think about this in the context of a New Year’s Resolution, you should be making the promise to yourself and therefore you owe it to yourself to go through with it. However if one is making a resolution in order to look like they are doing something, it is not likely to succeed due to lack of real motivation. I once made a resolution to start exercising and going to the gym, I only said I would because that’s what everyone else said they were doing. I googled the price of gym memberships and to this day I have never stepped foot in one. Whilst I have been writing this article I have been thinking about my own New Year’s Resolutions, my promises to
my future self. When I think about how much has changed in the last year I’m an odd mixture of proud and sad; I finished my sonnet collection and dissertation, I graduated, I moved in with my boyfriend and got my first proper full-time job. It’s exciting because I’ve basically grown up in a year but I can’t help missing student life and being in that place of learning. I’ve decided to base my resolutions on the year I’ve been through and what I have explored in this article. In 2015 I promise
‘Bart’ ©Carol Wellart 2014
to pass my driving test, I promise to keep writing and I promise to not be in the same place this time next year. These promises are realistic and send my wishes forward to myself and as Robert W Service says it is a debt I owe to me to do all these things by next year.
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ISSUE THREE - JANUARY 2015
Some essay writing tips: ✦
It is always worth exploring the definition(s) of a key word in the question as it helps you to focus your answer and shows you are truly engaging in the question
✦
But sometimes the definition of a word is not enough; throwing a bit of etymology into any essay is a really easy way of making yourself look clever.
✦
Having explored the definition and origin of the word (a good way to provide a foundation for your argument and boost the word count). It is then time to turn to literature, poetry in particular is always appropriate, to shed some more light on the subject.
✦
Finally, a conclusion is the place where you bring together all the points in your essay and sum up your argument. You should also take your argument further to its logical resolution, don’t forget to show how your research has helped you reach this conclusion.
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ISSUE THREE - JANUARY 2015
TEARABLE PUNS If you have a bad pun you think should be shared with the world, send it to us! Email us at bibliophilia@outlook.com with ‘Tearable Puns’ as the title.
The car park at work is just for frogs Everyone else is toad
Had Wookie steak for dinner It was a little chewy
Need an ark? I Noah guy
Got a new vacuum cleaner It really sucks
Free verse?
Show some Whit, man
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger Then it hit me
Read too much Irish poetry Got a Yeats infection
Two peanuts walked into a bar One was a salted
Old limbo dancers never die They just go under
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ISSUE THREE - JANUARY 2015
Copyright ©2014 by Bibliophilia Magazine All prose and poetry rights are reserved by the contributing authors. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the individual author. NEXT ISSUE!! The new year is a time for new starts, new resolutions, and new beginnings. Considering this we have decided our theme for January’s issue will be CONNECTIONS From lost love to families and friends, use the theme however you wish. As always please follow our submission guidelines and make sure your contribution is with us in plenty of time to be included.
Submission Guidelines Our guidelines are few and simple. We want to make it as easy for you to submit to us as possible and want to make our rules (such as they are) easy to follow. So here’s all you need to know: ‣ All submissions must be sent to bibliophilia@outlook.com by the 20th of the month to appear in the next month’s issue. ‣ All submissions must be sent as a pdf or word attachment, with your name, your pen name (if different), a short author bio (no more than 50 words) and your twitter name/ blog address in the email body. ‣ Short fiction can be no longer than 2,000 words, with the words ‘fiction submission’ as the subject of the email. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis. ‣ Poetry can be no longer than 40 lines, with the words ‘poetry submission’ as the subject of the email. Up to three poems can be sent together. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis. ‣ Features can be no longer than 1,500 words; proposals must be sent in the first instance with the words ‘features proposal’ as the subject of the email. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis. ‣ All submissions must be sent via email - we do not accept snail mail submissions at this time. PAGE 26