Peristeria Fall 2011

Hey Girls!

If you’re reading this you are a part of our very first readership in this exciting new adventure! Thank you for sharing in this with us.

National Girls Ministries Director

Candy Tolbert Teen Girl Specialist Magazine Editor

Katie Mattiuzzo National Girls Ministries Editor

Lori Van Veen This Month’s Contributors:

Jennie Olson Beckah Shae Luminate

Fashion Police Jaime Jamgochian on Why ‘Modest is Hottest’

Kelly Morris

I Kissed Suntanning Goodbye

Kathryn Sutton Bits of Beauty

Karolyn Olson Ask Away

Kinda Wilson

Answer: “How can I avoid coming across as overly flirty?”

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society®. Used by permission of

Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 2 1984 by International Bible 1978, Society®. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

We’re so excited to be able to offer this teen girl magazine to you as a fun, encouraging, informative, and safe resource to enjoy. You won’t have to worry about inappropriate content, shocking photos, underweight models, or a bombardment of ads and images that promote an over-sexualized agenda. This is a magazIne for you. The real girl. The girl who is tired of feeling attacked by our culture and is hungry for a magazine that cares about what’s going on in the heart of a girl.

This online and downloadable magazine will be published quarterly. So four times a year we want to overload you with amazing content — fashion, books, music, articles, questions, and more!

Watch for the winter issue in November, the spring issue in February, and the summer issue in May, and the fall issue again in August. Throughout the magazine there will be places for you to respond. Please do! We want to hear from you, even if it’s just to say hello. Afterall, what’s a teen girl magazine without the involvement of teen girls? :) You’ll notice an emphasis on back-to-school and the fall season in the first few pages of this issue. We know this is a pretty big few months for you! I had my fair share of humiliating experiences in junior high and high school of tripping up the stairs, co-ed gym classes, dropping my lunch in the cafeteria, wearing white pants that I didn’t realize were see-through until my sweet teacher pulled me aside and informed me that she could see my polka dots, forgetting locker combinations, and completely blanking on what my name was when the teacher asked me in front of the class. I remember all of the joys and the fears of starting a new year of school!

Memorize this Scripture verse and keep it at the forefront of your thoughts these next few weeks as you’re adapting to a new school, class schedule, teachers, and friends: “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you” (1 Peter 5:7, NLT).

The symbolism between the Peristeria Orchid and the Christian teen girl is pretty powerful stuff. Peristeria is Greek for “little dove.” The orchid gets its name from the dove-shaped center of the flower, and has also been called the Holy Ghost orchid (read Luke 3:21,22). Peristeria Orchids can grow in light or dark, much like a teen girl who has a desire to grow in her relationship with God despite the circumstances around her. The roots require moisture — pure water — at all times. As Christians, we also need nutrition and to be constantly fed through studying the Bible. As you read this magazine, think of yourself as a beautiful Peristeria Orchid — filled with the Holy Ghost, growing in whatever circumstances you’re living with, whether they be in light or dark, and being fed with the pure truth of the Word of God.

feature story: back 2 school | page 2

entertainment | page 14

fall fashion | page 4

what does your profile picture say about you? | page 16

fall fun | page 8 honor your father & mother | page 10 feature story: i kissed suntanning goodbye | page 12

bit of beauty | page 18 book nook | page 19 feature story: what makes you a Christian? | page 20 tough question | page 22 what do we think about... | page 23 like, love, & dating | page 24 ask away! | page 26 behind the scenes | page 28

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Starting a new

year of school

can be stressful,

whether you

will be starting

in a new school

or whether you’re

already familiar with

the building and the

people. Here’s a look

at some common fears

girls have and a few ideas to ease the stress of going back to school!

Fear #1: Getting Lost

No one likes feeling helpless walking into a full classroom late because they got lost. Grab a friend and visit the school a few days before classes start so you can help each other find your lockers (and make sure you know how to use the combinations) and classrooms. Bring your schedule with you so you can even practice the route you’ll take from class to class.

Plot out when you will return to your locker so you know what materials you need to have with you. Check out the lunch line and get an overview of the cafeteria so you can feel more prepared the first day of school.

Fear #2: Not Having Friends Fortunately for you, there 4

will be dozens of other girls throughout your day that have this same fear.

Meet with your friends ahead of time to compare schedules. See if you have classes in common and plan when you can meet during the day.

Meet every morning before class so your day starts out on a familiar note.

Pump each other up! Tell each other that it’s going to be a good day and that you’re going to be a blessing to others around you!

Everyone tends to wait for someone else to take the lead that first week of school — to invite them to be in their group, to sit with them at lunch, and to joke with them. Be the one to make the first move! You have God on your side — live in confidence!

Fear #3: Acceptance of Physical Appearance

Maybe you’re nervous about coming back to school because you got

a new hair cut, lost or gained weight, are worried about whether your clothing and accessories are up-todate, or have become the victim of puberty and your skin is less than pristine. Maybe it’s the opposite for you — everyone else around you is coming back to school with some sort of change and you look just the same. Whatever the case may be, your fear about going back to school might be what the reactions of others will be.

Try to see the big picture. Junior high and high school are just a few years out of your whole life, so try to not get so wrapped up in the drama or the quest for a particular image.

Put on some thick skin! Maybe you love your hair short but your guy friends preferred your long hair. So

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:)

what?! If you like it, that’s all that matters. Don’t let the comments of others ruin the way you think about your new look. If someone makes a comment about something you’re already inscure about, blow it off. That’s horribly mean of someone to do and that person is clearly not someone that deserves your friendship. Adopt the saying, “this too shall pass!” You won’t always be under the influence of puberty.

A few days before classes start, make a list of all of the qualities you like about yourself — your physical qualities and your personality qualities and talents. Sometimes it does us a world of good to be able to focus on what we like about ourselves so that we can have a boost of confidence before walking into a new situation!

Stick up for each other. If someone makes a comment about the way

another girl looks, stand up for her, whether you know her or not. Band together with the girls in your circle of influence to make it a safe zone.

People will stand up for you when they see you standing up for others.

Fear #4: Getting Along With Teachers

It can be stressful having to start all over building a relationship with your teachers when a new school year starts and presents itself with a new schedule of teachers. Will your teachers require a lot of book reading? Will they be ones to give pop quizzes?

Are they strict on tardies?

Here are some tips for getting off on the right foot with your teachers: • Turn in homework on time • Be attentive during class • Resist the urge to pass notes or talk during class • Follow directions • Raise your hand and give an an-

swer every once in a while. Ever been in a class where the teacher asked a question and an endless amount of time passed before anyone spoke?

Help your teacher out and participate!

• Write legibly.

• Be on time.

• Acknowledge your teachers in the hallways instead of ignoring them!

------Don’t underestimate the power of prayer! God is a God of peace. First Peter 5:7 says, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you” (NLT). When you find yourself starting to worry, take some time to pray and give your concerns to God and then do what you need to do to feel more prepared.

Remember that God has placed you in your school, in those classes, and sitting by the people you are for a reason. So be a light to them!

irls: g n e e t r blog fo s.agblogger.org teengirl

For topics that affect your life, check out the

Teen Girls Blog, updated weekly!

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Don’t be afraid to mix colors! Create an artsy look

that’s not so matchy-matchy. This teal top pops so well under the colorful cardigan sweater. We also brought in more teal through the feather hair piece and bangle bracelet. You could even swap out the long necklace for a trendy scarf.

Outfit Pieces: Cardigan, Camisole, Tights, Ballet Flats Accessories: Feather Hair-Piece, Long Charm Necklace, Bangles, Ruffle Scarf, Hobo Bag

You can always dress up a jean skirt!

If you are a girl who likes to bring frill to everything this outfit is for you. We have combined a lace tank with a flower headband, stiletto boots, and added some bling with the jewelry.

Outfit Pieces: Cropped Cardigan, Lace Tank, Knee-High Boots Accessories: Flower Headband, Scarf, Small Clutch, Beaded Bracelet, Hoop Earrings, Flower Ring

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If preppy is more your style here are some ideas to bring that look to your jean skirt. We have layered

a tailored button-up shirt under a cuffed striped sweater and added tights and loafers to complete this look.

Outfit Pieces: Striped Lightweight Sweater, Fitted Button-up Shirt, Argyle Tights, Loafers Accessories: Pendant Necklace, Stud-Earrings, Canvas Clutch

Do you want to wear your school team shirt in a new way to the next football game? We have

added this trendy athletic jacket over a team tee with this look. When it’s that chilly fall weather include your favorite beanie hat.

Outfit Pieces: Sports Tee, Full-zip Athletic Jacket, Athletic Shoes Accessories: Beanie Hat Idea: Add a plastic sports watch as another

accessory

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Rather than giving into the media pressure that says artists have wear low tops, short skirts and skin-tight pants, Jaime is using her influence to teach girls that they don’t have to be revealing to be fashionable.

As a talented and beautiful singer-songwriter, Jaime Jamgochian has no shortage of teens who look up to her. She has two albums with Centricity Records – Reason to Live and Above the Noise – and a hit single called “The Stand” that has spent plenty of time on top music charts like INSPO and Christian Adult Contemporary.

When she’s not performing, Jaime travels to events and churches across the country with her Modest is Hottest campaign.

Modest is Hottest is an event for teen girls to challenge them to live a life that reflects Christ in purity and modesty. Each event is filled with music, stories, fashion, guest artists, speakers, and the “Fab Five Modest is Hottest Fashion Tips.”

“We all have to be aware of what we put on our bodies,” Jaime said. “I love to follow the fashion trends, but sometimes you have to be creative to make them work in a modest way.”

Jaime said that it’s important for people to be drawn to your eyes, where the love and light of Christ shines through, and it’s crucial for young women to know where their true beauty comes from, especially during the teen years.

“Real love comes from a personal relationship with Christ,” Jaime said. “We do not need to follow what media or Hollywood shows us in terms of dress; instead we should dress in a way that honors God.” But Jaime also said that this doesn’t mean Christians have to wear turtlenecks and skirts down to their ankles.

“Christians should dress and carry themselves with as much class, style, and fashion as those who do not know the Lord,” Jaime said. “But we can find ways to make those outfits modest and glorifying to God.” The phrase “Modest is Hottest” to Jaime, means just that.

“Dressing modestly does not mean you will not be attractive,” Jaime said. “We just want to make sure we are attracting people to Jesus.”

Jaime is writing a book about the topic of modesty and also has several new songs in the works. For more information or to purchase “Modest is Hottest” T-shirts, visit jaimejam.com or follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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1. go for a hay ride

2. walk through a corn maze

3. visit an apple orchard

28 festive and fun

things to do this fall

4. pick out a pumpkin at a farm 5. make applesauce from scratch

6. go for a nature walk & collect leaves

7. make a pomander ball by sticking cloves into an orange and rolling it in spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, or allspice

8. go horseback riding 9. make caramel corn 10. toast pumpkin seeds 11. to sew a quilt 12. make a fall arrangement for the entryway to your house

16. use your creativity to make a scarecrow 17. go on a picnic & bring your favorite hearty foods 18. have friends over and make some chili 19. make a centerpiece out of little gourds

13. paint a large flower pot and buy some fall mums

20. find a bike trail

14. make homemade apple cider

21. watch autumn-themed movies

15. collect fall leaves and 10

22. go to a football game

24. make caramel apples on a stick and get creative with the toppings 25. have a bonfire 26. decorate your bedroom for fall 27. carve pumpkins or paint gourds 28. challenge yourself and a friend to put together a cute fall outfit for under $10 by shopping at a thrift store

mount and frame them 23. rake leaves for someone as wall art 8

chocolate chip pumpkin muffins directions

ingredients

1. Combine eggs, sugar, oil, and pumpkin and blend until smooth.

4 eggs 2 cups sugar 3/4 cup oil pkin 16 oz. canned pum 3 cups flour da 2 Tbs. baking so der 2 Tbs. baking pow 1 tsp. salt

2. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon.

3. Add to pumpkin mixture.

4. Fold in chocolate chips.

5. Fill muffin cups 3/4 full.

6. Bake at 350o for 15-20 minutes.

Yields: 24 muffins.

1 tsp. cinnamon chips 12 oz. chocolate

caramel cream cheese apple dip ingredients 8 oz. cream c

heese

3/4 cup brow

n sugar

1/4 cup white

sugar caramel ice cr eam topping 1 cup dry roast ed peanuts apple slices

directions

ars in a mixer until blended.

1. Combine cream cheese and sug 2. Spread in a shallow dish. topping as desired.

3. Drizzle with caramel ice cream s as desired.

4. Sprinkle with chopped peanut 5. Serve with apple slices.

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Tips for

Let’s be real. Lots of teens experience some level of friction in their relationships with their parents at some point. Changing hormones combined with changing roles responsibilities, relationships, and expectations can create a pretty explosive situation.

improving

No matter what your family make-up, the Bible calls us to be subject to our authorities — this includes the parental figures in our lives, whether that be a biological mother or father, a stepparent, a foster parent, or another family member that is raising you.

your relationship

with your

parents:

Titus 3:1,2 NIV “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.”

Notice all of the other actions this verse calls us to demonstrate? Those can be really challenging to show towards our family members sometimes! Take a few minutes and evaluate your relationship with your parent(s) by taking the following quizzes!

1. Attitude

2. Consideration

3. Consistency 4. Own up

1. You slam the door when your parent(s) make you upset.

A. Never B. Sometimes C. Often 2. When your mom tells you something to do you roll your eyes.

A. Never B. Sometimes C. Often 3. In the past, when you were angry with your parents, you told them to shut up or leave you alone.

A. Never B. Sometimes C. Most of the time 4. If your parent(s) said you could not go to an event you wanted to go to, you would: 12 A. Accept their instruction B. Try to reason with them C. Go anyway

5. Your mom says you aren’t allowed to wear something (jewelry, clothing, etc.), but your friends are starting to make fun of you. What would you do?

A. Tell your friends you’re not allowed to.

B. Argue with your mom until you get in trouble or get your way.

C. Wait until your mom leaves and wear it anyway.

Results

Mostly As: Your attitude seems to be in line with the Word of God. God will reward you as you continue to grow in Him. Mostly Bs: You seem to walk the fence. You tend to rationalize your actions.

Mostly Cs: You have an attitude problem.

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1. You leave dirty clothes and/or wet towel on the floor of the bathroom you share with other family members.

A. Never B. Sometimes C. Often 2. You present a list of requests, frustrations, or engage in heavy topics of conversation within minutes of your parent(s) arriving home from a long day or when it’s time for bed.

A. Never B. Sometimes C. Often 3. You control the remote while you’re home watching TV, regardless of who else is in the room with you.

A. Never B. Sometimes C. Often 4. You answer your phone or text during dinner or another designated family activity.

1. You come home at or before curfew.

A. Regularly B. Sometimes

C. Never

2. You do your chores and/or homework.

A. Regularly B. Sometimes C. Never 3. You are present and on time for activities you know are important to your parents.

A. Regularly B. Sometimes C. Never 4. You tell your parents the truth.

A. Regularly B. Sometimes

C. Never

1. When your parents talk to you about a mistake you’ve made you: A. Listen, admit, and learn.

B. Listen, admit, and defend yourself.

C. Listen, argue, and dismiss it.

2. When you make a mistake that no one knows about yet, you: A. Feel bad about it and make it right.

B. Linger in guilt but wait for someone to say something.

C. Hope no one noticed and try to cover it up.

3. Your attitude when you’ve made a mistake is: A. Guilty and humble B. Defensive but repentant C. Guarded and unremorseful

A. Never

B. Sometimes

C. Often

5. You wait to tell your parents about your plans for the evening until they ask you.

A. Never B. Sometimes C. Often

Results Mostly As: You are very considerate to your parents. They will recognize your responsibility and be more likely to trust you.

Mostly Bs: You’re on your way to being considerate but you still have times when you are selfish. Think about how you can improve.

Mostly Cs: You have some work to do.

5. You obey your parents.

A. Regularly B. Sometimes

C. Never

Results

Mostly As: You are consistently showing your parents that you are responsible and trustworthy. You are building an excellent foundation in your relationship with your parents.

Mostly Bs: Your parents have reason to hesitate to trust you, but it’s not too late! Step it up and show them how dependable you are.

Mostly Cs: Start fresh. Sit down with your parents and let them in on your new plan to be consistent. Apologize for the past and move on.

Results Mostly As: You are humble and repentant when you make a mistake. You accept responsibility for your actions and show your parents that you are developing maturity.

Mostly Bs: You’re still maturing in this area. It’s still hard for you to openly admit to your mistakes and you tend to justify your actions.

Mostly Cs: Needs improvement. You have a stubborn streak or you are oblivious to your mistakes. You might even be passing the guilt on to someone else. Issues with parents are escalated from a refusal to admit mistakes.

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I come to you as a 28-year-old woman whose life has been changed by the word melanoma. If you spent any time with me it wouldn’t take long to figure out that I love summer and all that it entails. It has always been my favorite time of year and just the rays of the sun shining through my window in the morning bring a smile to my face. A little over one year ago the sun brought a completely different meaning into my world.

The first time I used a tanning bed was at the age of 16, thinking it was a safe way to get the sun that I loved. It was never an everyday experience, just a way to bring a little color to my skin in the winter or before a school dance. We live in a world that is drawn to that sunkissed skin, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t one of them. Girls start 14 seeing it at a young age as a part of being beautiful yet many do not

know the repercussions that come from this kind of exposure and the effects it can have on the rest of their lives. If I can bring light to just one person from my experience and what the Lord has so graciously brought me through, it will all be completely worth it.

In January 2009, I went in to my general doctor to just have a small mole removed. My doctor had no reason for concern but out of my persistent uneasy feeling about this very small freckle-like mole on my arm he decided to remove it.

(Note: I have several moles all over my body that have never brought concern to me before.) I was in and out in a matter of minutes with no worry or concern, just feeling good that the little thing that seemed to make me stressed every time I saw it was finally gone.

Soon I received a call from my doctor.

As I returned his call and waited for an answer fear rose up within me....

I held back tears as I stood alone listening to the results.

With a very somber “You have tone he expressed melanoma” his apologies as he was surprised by the results. “You have melanoma,” he stated. Flooded with many emotions, I did not know what to say. It didn’t seem real. Are you kidding me? As he tried to be optimistic the word oncologist was not the type of doctor I ever saw myself going to see.

Yet two days later I was sitting in his office as he told me I had stage 3 malignant melanoma. My whole life changed in a matter of a few days.

Future dreams seemed unrealistic and my heart was shattered on the inside as I questioned why.

One week after the original phone I was lying in a hospital bed awaiting surgery. I remember thinking God

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this can’t be it. There is so much I want to do for You. I have promised my life to You; to go wherever You call me to go. Is this really the end? This went on for several hours as I tried to remain strong on the outside and as I began the painful preparations for surgery. When they finally wheeled me into the pre-op area, I was alone for the first time all day. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I allowed the first tears to fall as I prayed, “God, my life is Yours.

If this is Your time, I’m ready and bring me home. If not, my healing is up to You because I cannot live the remainder of my life in this hospital.” A sense of His overwhelming peace came to me as I drifted off under the anesthesia.

The next few days were a blur as I tried to recover. But I still remember that peace. I awoke Friday morning anticipating a phone call for the test results. I only remember bits of those few days but I will never forget that phone call. I again waited as the nurse went to find the paperwork. She finally came back on the line after what seemed like forever and said, “Well, they must have gotten everything the first time because there were no traces of melanoma in what they removed

this week and it has not spread to your lymph nodes.”

I remember thinking No, God got it all!

Although God gave me a miraculous healing that I will never forget, this was just the beginning of my journey with melanoma. Since that week, I have had another surgery with two spots removed and will continue to have regular full body screenings and eye exams for the rest of my life. My days in the sun have come to being drenched in sunscreen and lots of shade.

Many may argue about the effects of tanning beds. However, from my experience alone, I contend it is not worth it. In my doctor’s office alone they have said that every girl that comes in with melanoma used a tanning bed. It is not just a disease that effects the older generation.

According to the American Cancer Society, melanoma is one of the more common cancers in young adults. Melanoma Center states that “It is the second most common cancer in women between the ages of 20 and 35, and the leading cause of cancer death in women ages 25 to 30.” The National Cancer

Institute reports that women who use tanning beds more than once a month are 55 melanoma is percent more likely to develop the leading melanoma. cause of

cancer death As a leader of young girls my in women hope is to make ages 25 to 30 our upcoming generations more aware of this disease that kills hundreds every year.

I want to get to the core of each girl and teach her that with God we can be comfortable in our own skin and it is beautiful. It’s not about the color; it’s about living our lives to the fullest and protecting the body that God has blessed us with.

For more information and statistics on melanoma visit: http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ ConsumerUpdates/ucm186687.htm

*Article photo by Randy Bacon Photography

1. Wearing sunglasses with UV absorbing 4. There is no hereditary link for melanoma. lenses can reduce your risk of developing True or False skin cancer. True or False 5. Melanoma will stay contained to an area on the skin. True or False 2. The number of new cases of skin cancer is increasing but the number of related deaths is decreasing. True or False 3. Your risk of developing skin cancer increases by ___ when you use a tanning bed and are under the age of 35.

15 a.) 10% c.) 25% Information found at WebMD.com, search skin cancer. b.) 75% d.) 50%

13 Answers: 1. True 2. True 3. b.) 75% 4. False 5. False

Pop artist Beckah Shae has learned that that receiving love is just as important as giving it Now, she’s spreading a message of hope to others struggling to find their identity.

ately began questioning if I was pretty enough or good enough,” she said, adding that she One of the blessings of Beckah’s tu- grew up with financial poverty and was multuous childhood in a home with often donated Christmas presents and multiple divorces and frequent moves clothing from charity organizations. was her ability to adjust to her surBeckah resorted to crash diets and eatroundings. But she became so good ing disorders to fit the image. Working at camouflage that she no longer out and dieting became a normal part knew who she was. of her life, and a battle with bulimia led “I became this amazing conformist to anxiety and depression. because I would just go somewhere But God was preparing a way for her and turn into whatever was there,” to escape.

Beckah said.

Beckah’s depression led her to a local Living in San Bernardino, Calif., Beckah church. There she met a woman who was a minority as a white girl, so she had connections to the music industry fit into her surroundings by acting like in Nashville. To Beckah it seemed like the “hip hop” girls who lived there.

God’s way of reminding her of His will.

But when her family once again uprooted and settled in Orange County, “It was the biggest move I ever made Beckah had a whole other role to play. because I didn’t know anyone and I “It was just a total culture shock to me, was doing it by myself. I was just chas16 and there is a very strong superficial, ing after God because I was so hungry materialistic spirit there, so I immedi- for Him at that point.”

A year later, she met her husband, producer Jack “Shock” Shocklee, who is an instrumental part in her music and ministry.

Beckah chose to become involved with pop music and hip hop because that’s what the top billboards are mostly playing. She decided it would be the area of greatest influence.

“That’s what this generation is receiving and consuming, and we’re passionate that we can offer them something else,” Beckah said about some of today’s mainstream music.

“I’ve read some of the lyrics and felt sick afterwards. Why is this ok?”

“What I do is because of my passion and my love for God’s grace,” Beckah said. “I know what it’s like to be in darkness, and I know what it’s like to be in light.”

Through her years of finding herself, Beckah realized that her identity does not rest in her surroundings, but in being a child of God.

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Texas-based pop/rock band Luminate has gained considerable critical acclaim in 2011, and it’s not hard to understand why.

With catchy tunes, meaningful lyrics, and a slight British alternative rock edge, Luminate has exploded onto the Christian music scene with their first full-length album, Come Home.

Frontman Sam Hancock began leading worship at his home church in Indiana when he was 14. He met bass player Dusty Jakubik while attending the Visible School of Music in Memphis, and they completed the ensemble in 2005 with the addition of keyboardist Dustin DeLong and drummer Aaron Matthew.

After touring for three years and recording three independent projects, Luminate was signed by Sparrow Records in March 2009 and released Come Home on Jan. 25, 2011. The band has already toured with Superchick, Sanctus Real, Big Daddy Weave, and Chris Sligh.

top 10 Christian songs .Gloringious Day #1Cast Crowns t My Hands #6.I LifCh ris Tomlin

Me

ve yway #2.Yoalku LoPrAnop hets ew Sid

Strong Enough Matthew West

#7.

Way #3.JeremyTheCamp

#8.

Reach urler Peter F

#4. Blessings Laur

a Story

#9. MerMcyovMee

Stronger #5. Mandisa

Do Everything Steven Curtis Chapman

#10.

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Need some pointers on how to choose what movies and television shows you watch and music you listen to? Download the free Music, Movies, and TV Hot Topic at tgm.ag.org.

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You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend. -Paul Sweeney

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Don’t smoke, don’t drink. Don’t steal things or use swear words. Go to church every Sunday and pray before you eat. Give 10 percent of your paycheck as a tithe and spend one Sunday a month volunteering in the nursery, and don’t even think about fooling around with your boyfriend or about getting even with your manipulative big sister.

There is so much more to a life in Christ than a check-list. How can you get a better perspective on what makes them a Christian?

Following Christ is about a relationship. God is a per-

sonal God. He cares about the details of your life and loves to spend time with you. After establishing a relationship with God by asking Him into your life you nurture it by spending time in prayer, reading 22 Bible, and absorbing as much the teaching on the things of God as

possible. Being a Christian is more than just a religious classification or attending church once a week — it’s about a relationship with a living God.

Following Christ brings freedom. James 1:25 talks about

how freedom comes from living out the commands of the Lord. When we accept Jesus as our Savior He burns His commandments on our hearts. We are set free from our sin, the guilt from our past, and we’re given eternal life. We’re also given the freedom and desire to obey Christ. The Holy Spirit gently convicts us when we sin and graciously guides and directs us as we make decisions freeing us up from a lot of worry.

Following Christ is about wanting to be more like Him. If we are God’s children

there should be a strong resem-

blance between us and our Father God. God is holy - He is separated from evil. As Christians who have committed to following Jesus, holiness is something we should desperately want and it will be a natural result when we are seeking after Christ.

So how do you respond to the do’s and don’ts found in Scripture, a lifestyle covenant for a church leadership position, or a denomination’s position on certain social issues?

These guidelines are meant to protect you. God can see the big picture. He knows that certain choices can lead to pain and others to joy.

Here are a few examples: When God said “do not get drunk on wine” (Ephesians 5:18) He wasn’t intending to add another sin to the “don’t” list. He intended it to pro-

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tect us. With alcohol in your system you’re not in your normal frame of mind - your decision-making is impaired, you’re vulnerable to being taken advantage of, and you could physically and emotionally injure yourself and others.

When God said “bring the whole tithe into the storehouse” (Malachi 3:10) it’s not because money will secure your place in Heaven. It’s because the act of putting your trust in God and not your paycheck will honor God and bring blessing into your life.

QUIZ

Christianity is about lining up every thought, action, and word with those of God. When girls do this they may realize that certain behaviors need to change. When we choose to obey the guidelines God lays out for the way we should live, we should trust Him that we will live in freedom from the pain, regret, and loneliness certain behaviors would result in and will instead have blessing, joy, and peace in all we do.

Christianity is about lining up every thought, action, and word with those of God.

what Bible heroine are you?

1. During a lunchroom-wide food fight you would:

a.) stand before the lunchroom and ask everyone to stop throwing food. b.) run from group to group talking to the different people about the pros and cons of their actions and rallying other people together to put a stop to the fight. c.) refuse to participate and obediently stay late after lunch to clean the cafeteria because you were asked to. d.) participate and then realize the foolishness of the crowds’ actions and seek to put an end to the food fight, putting aside all loyalties.

2. If you see a girl getting picked on you would:

a.) confidently approach the bullies and tell them that if they pick on that girl they should pick on you too. b.) approach the group and tell them you need to talk to the girl. In the future, walk with the girl whenever you know she has to take a route that passes that group of bullies. c.) ask Jesus to help the girl and to show you what to do. d.) devise a scenario to get the victim away from the bullies.

3. If you were writing a book based on your life:

a.) the main character would be confident, daring, brave, and willing to stand up for righteousness no matter the cost. b.) the main character would be influential, a servant, and willing to take risks to protect her family and friends. c.) the main character would be an average girl who loved the Lord and would obey whatever the Lord asked. d.) the main character would be cunning, counter-cultural, and adventurous.

Results

If you answered primarily A, your Bible heroine is Queen Esther. Queen Esther was brave and unwilling to let injustice happen. She stood up to the King and his entire court to ask that the Jews be spared despite the threat of death.

If you answered primarily B, your Bible heroine is Miriam. Miriam was the older sister of Moses. She followed him in his basket down the river, watched over him, and offered to find someone who could take care of him when Pharoh’s daughter found him in the river. She later led the people of Israel out of slavery with her brother Moses.

If you answered primarily C, your Bible heroine is Mary the Mother of Jesus. Mary was an average girl who loved God and obeyed Him faithfully. She had godly character and was known for her obedience, faith, and sacrificial attitude.

If you answered primarily D, your Bible heroine is Rahab. Rahab lived in Jericho, the land the Israelites were planning on destroying because they were wicked. She devised a plan to help a few Israelite spies escape because she knew that her people were wrong and that these spies served the one true God. Because of her courage and desire to do the right thing despite loyalties, she was saved when the Israelites destroyed Jericho.

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First, realize there is little we can do about our fallen world.

Satan is not going to change his tactics either; we are at war war with him. As he brings disease and destruction, we are called to bring healing and freedom.

However, we are able to make choices regarding whether or not we sin.

Right choices can bring health, while wrong choices can make us susceptible to illness. Notice what is said in the following verses. “Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (James 5:14–17).

Sickness comes primarily from three sources: 1. Satan. He schemes to kill,

steal, and destroy. (See John 10:10.) He is out to destroy life, and he often uses sickness to accomplish his objectives.

2. Sinful choices. Scripture reveals that sinful choices can bring sickness and disease upon us. We must understand that sin carries consequences, and at times, these consequences are disease. (See James 5:16.)

3. Fallen world. We live in a fallen world filled with virus, pollution, chemicals in our food and water, and exposure to so much more. God never intended Earth to be this way, but because of sin, our world is fallen — that is until God creates a new heaven and new earth!

(See Revelation 21:1.)

The elders are to anoint the individual with oil and pray for him or her. The confession of sin followed by prayer brings healing. We should not mistake the time it takes for the process of healing as a lack of healing. Healing isn’t always instantaneous; it may come over a period of time. The process of healing (i.e., calling on the elders, anointing with oil, confessing sin, and praying) is evident in the above passage.

Certainly God is God. He can do anything He wants. Yet we must realize that at times God chooses to use His Church — you and me. This is part of His sovereignty. There are certain things God chooses not to do until His people respond.

Certainly God can heal anyone at any time, yet we are commanded to pray for the sick. We partner with God to do His work! Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He healed yesterday, He can heal today, and He will heal tomorrow! (See Hebrews 13:8.)

What if someone is not healed? In the Bible, there are a few instances when we come across people who are not healed. “Erastus stayed in Corinth, and I left Trophimus sick in Miletus” (2 Timothy 4:20). How could Paul leave one of his friends sick? Didn’t he pray for him? We can assume that Paul had prayed for him, yet Trophimus is left sick. We should be careful when it comes to attempting to guess why someone does not receive healing.

Only in eternity will we understand these matters. Even the apostle Paul suffered from a physical affliction and doesn’t seem to ever have received healing while on earth. (See Galatians 4:13–16 and 2 Corinthians 12:7–10.)

Sick or healthy, we are blessed with wholeness in Christ. No matter what condition we face or what illness we may have, we can know Christ is with us and will never leave us. In other words, we may never recover from disease (that is, until we reach heaven), but we can live a whole life in Christ. Jesus highly values the whole person.

He cares not only for the physical but also for the emotional and spiritual. Until physical healing comes, we can rejoice knowing service is not limited to what our bodies can do so much as to what our God can do through 24 someone totally yielded to His purposes!

Excerpt taken from Student iValues, Healing (formerly the “Hungry?”series), written by Rod Whitlock, Student Discipleship 22 Director, National Youth Ministries Department. http://youth.ag.org/discipleship/

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Wanna know what we think about something? Send us your topic suggestion by emailing tgm@ag.org.

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Looking for love in all the wrong places

take it slow and make a friend!

Hit up a coffeehouse and play some games.

Go to breakfast on a Saturday morning.

Take a hike.

Walk through a flea market and see who can find the best trinket.

Bake cookies.

Take a tour of an historical site, factory, or other place you’re curious about.

Have a progressive dinner with friends. Travel to each person’s house for the next course of the meal.

Load up on your favorite snacks and put together a puzzle.

Family game night.

Attend a play/musical at a local school.

Get day passes to a fitness club and play racketball, basketball, hit the pool, attend a class, 26 etc.

1. With unbelievers. Second Corinthians 6:14 says, “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” (NLT). While a guy might admire the wholesome qualities you possess because of your faith, that shouldn’t be enough to sway you to date him. He can’t possibly understand what a relationship with the Lord is like if he does not have his own. He can’t share in the joy of Bible studies, Sunday morning church, or the power of prayer, and you run the risk of compromising on some very important standards. So looking for love in someone who doesn’t love God isn’t just something your parents have issues with — it’s something God has issues with. He loves you and can see farther down the road than you can. He’ll spare you from a lot of heartache and time lost if you trust Him on this one.

2. With “bad boys.” First Corinthians 5:11 says, “...You are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people” (NLT). We all know people who claim to be “Christians” but their definition of the word seems much different from Webster’s. They still engage in a lot of activities or display a lot of attitudes that contradict what God says in the Bible is the righteous way to live. So why look for love in someone who is living for the foolish, material, lustful things of the world?

3. When you’re too young. Love is such an interesting word. We use it talking about everything from hot chocolate, to pet guinea pigs, to our moms, and to God. But love in a romantic way is meant to be used sparingly. There are many dating philosophies out there, all with their pros and cons, but I’ll go out on a limb and say that most people agree that looking for love when you’re too young is dangerous. A 13-year-old “dating” a boy is only setting that girl up for heartache. Inevitably that “relationship” will end and that sweet girl will be left emotionally tarnished while she’s already going through the craziness of her evolving hormones, family and peer relationships, and body. Dating creates a false sense of maturity when entered into at too young an age. Girls are forced to grow up and make decisions about their sexuality, their boundaries, and balance this new romance with other friendships and responsibilities before they are mature enough to make those decisions.

4. When you’re vulnerable. We all go through phases when we’re more vulnerable.

Perhaps you recently went through a break-up, your sister got engaged, your best friend moved away, or you’re simply PMSing. These are not times you should be looking for love.

It’s just not wise to put yourself into an emotionally charged situation and trust your head and heart to be on guard. Look what Proverbs 25:28 says: “A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls” (NLT). It’s so easy to get swept away with charm, good looks, and amazing cologne, but when you do, your defensive walls are broken down and you open yourself up to attacks. So why look for love when you’re already weak? Tackle it another time when you can go forth with confidence and with God on your side!

Remember that there is a God who is passionate about you. He watches you from afar, He loves spending time with you, and He will always encourage you when you’re feeling down.

He heals broken hearts, He mends strained relationships, and He guides you in this incredible journey called life. So try looking for love with Him! “A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony,

24 in a moment.” - Pride & Prejudice

Ahh flirting …. the playful banter. The fascinating game of letting a guy know that you’re interested in him. But flirting can be tricky — no one wants to be “that girl” who puts on too much of a show or takes it a little too far.

Here are a few tips to avoid being viewed as overly-flirty:

• Be subtle. A friendly smile or a cute wink can do wonders.

• Stay away from the sexual jokes and comments. That’s over-the-top and inappropriate.

• Focus your flirting on the guy you’re interested in instead of dishing it out to every male in sight It can be really easy to get swept away in a whirlwind of emotion when a guy starts flattering you with attention. So it’s really important to set your standards before you even get into a relationship!

Consider the following as you decide whether a guy is worth dating:

• Is he respectful to his parents and siblings?

• Does he love the Lord with all of his heart and does his behavior indicate that he

desires to please God?

• Does he demonstrate responsibility and motivation?

• Is he loyal to his friends and family members?

Once you’re in a relationship it’s hard to get back out. You become emotionally invested.

It’s hard to think about finding a new normal without that person. Dating someone who isn’t a Christian in hopes that they become one will only cause your heart to be divided. It’s like playing with fire — you run a big risk of getting burned by dating someone who has differing convictions and priorities. Read about Solomon’s experience 1 Kings 1-13.

Instead of dating a non-Christian guy, become his friend and introduce him to other Christian guys. Let your lifestyle and testimony be the witness to him — you don’t need to date him to do that!

1. You get word that an attractive guy in your youth group has a crush on you. You:

a.) Continue to be yourself and let it all play out. b.) Bust out the lip gloss, jewelry, and a new outfit and make sure you’re around him as much as possible. c.) Start texting and Facebooking him, letting him know you’re interested in him.

2. You’ve been dating your boyfriend now for one month. You:

a.) Buy him a Starbucks card and make him a mix CD of his favorite songs. Afterall, it’s only been a month. b.) Buy tickets to see his favorite band in concert, a new video game, and make him a special dinner. Can’t let this one slip away! c.) Plan to tell him that you love him.

Results

Mostly As: Slow and steady wins the race. You‘re grounded and have a healthy outlook on dating.

Mostly Bs: Once in a blue moon. It’s fun when a new opportunity presents itself, but make sure you’re not settling for less than God’s best! You’re priceless — don’t feel desperate.

Mostly Cs: The early bird catches the worm. You’re the pursuer. You’re aggressive. Take a step back and give the guy a chance to court you.

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Q.

My relationship with my mom is really strained. I don’t feel like she listens to me and it makes me want to act out even more. How do I end this cycle?

- Frustrated

A.

Try to take a step back and evaluate how you sound when you talk to your mom. Do you treat her with courtesy? Do you greet her in the morning and when you come home? Do you ever ask her how her day is going? Do you only talk to her when you want something? It’s easy to think the world revolves around us and we can often take our relationship with our moms for granted.

Q.

Lately, it seems like all of my friends are going through drama.

Sometimes they try to pull me into the middle of it or make me choose sides. I love my friends, but I’m getting really sick of all of this drama!

- Fed Up

A.

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Unnecessary drama can be exhausting. Often it is created by girls who constantly need to be the center of attention. Stand your ground and refuse to be drawn in and manipulated. God has given you a good head on your shoulders.

Walk away and make it clear that you want nothing to do with it. Be prepared, though. You might need to ask God for some new friends because some girls just thrive on drama and don’t know what to do without it.

Your mom might be having a hard time letting you grow up. Take a minute and write down things you want to communicate to her ... not just all the things you want, but also how you feel. Pray over this list and ask God to open your mom’s heart to truly hear what you are saying.

Also pray that God will give you wisdom as you talk to her and give you an understanding of what your mom’s concerns are. Don’t whine or make demands when you sit down with her.

Trust is earned and there is a giveand-take. Submit to her and then try to have more regular talks with her.

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Q.

My friend’s mom just died and I don’t know how to help her.

What should I do?

- Unsure

A.

Death can bring conflicting feelings. If your friend’s mom had been sick for a long time, there may be feelings of relief mixed up with the grief that your friend is experiencing. Sometimes saying less is the best thing. Express your sympathy to her.

Don’t say, “I know how you feel” unless you have also experienced the death of your mom. Allow your friend space to talk about memories of her mom without interjecting stories about your mom. It’s okay to tell her your remembrances of her mom, but the main thing is to be sensitive. Your friend may not want to talk about her mom right now, but be there as a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on if the time does come. Above all, pray for her. Pray that God will comfort her and that God will give you the wisdom you need to truly be a friend.

Q.

I really lack discipline. I have a lot of good intentions, but I can’t seem to follow through with the things I want to do. How can I change?

- Needing Motivation

A.

It is commonly said that a new habit takes 21 days to become part of your normal routine. Set reasonable goals. It may not be realistic for you to say you will practice the

Q.

I know of some bad things my sister has been doing that my parents don’t know about it. What should I do?

- Stuck

A.

Let your sister know what you have been seeing and let her know that you are concerned. She may think she’s getting away with something and sometimes just being confronted is a wake-up call.

While no one likes a tattletale, your parents need to be made aware, even if it’s just a subtle hint. You might want to say, “Mom, I’m not sure Sara is hanging around with the greatest friends.” You don’t have to tell everything, but at least give them the heads up so they can begin their own investigation. The bond between sisters is powerful and not everything needs to be told to your parents, but if there are things that are illegal or that are putting your sister at risk, you need to tell your parents. piano for an hour each day when you are struggling to get through your music twice before your next lesson. Start by setting a consistent time when you will do your activity.

Write down the date and time it was completed. Give yourself a small reward when you have done that activity for five days. Project how you will feel when you have done that discipline for two weeks. If you know that you need to stop talking

Want to send us your question?

Email us at tgm@ag.org or drop a letter in the mail to: National Girls Ministries ATTN: Teen Girl Ministries 1445 N. Boonville Ave. Springfield, MO 65802

Q.

I get so down about all of the stuff happening around the world. How can I do more to help?

– Feeling Helpless

A.

A steady diet of negative news can greatly affect your mood, so watch news coverage in moderation.

Realize that Christ provides hope to those in our world who suffer. You can help through your prayers, your financial giving to missions and to relief agencies like Convoy of Hope, and through being a light to the people around you who are hurting and need Jesus.

on the telephone so much, turn your phone off and tell your friends what your goals are so they will help you.

Accountability can be a great help. If you are trying not to drink so much pop, think ahead about what you will drink the next time you have pizza.

Planning ahead will let you be more in control. Give your goals to God and ask that He will give you the strength to become the person He wants you to be.

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Teen Girl Daybook

au g u s t

monday

tuesday 1

Journal: What does choosing life look like?

How does this show that God values us?

Deuteronomy 30:19

w ednesday

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God is the Father, you are the daughter. Make a list of some of the qualities of God that are reflected in you.

Does God value a baby before it’s born? How should we value our life?

Genesis 1:27

Psalm 139:13,14

t hur sda y 4

Do you know someone who doesn’t feel valued?

Write that person a letter telling her how much you appreciate her and praise her for the things that she is doing.

John 4:4-9

friday 5

Think about how you treat others. Does it show that you value others more than yourself?

Philippians 2:3-5

value 8

What are the biggest issues you find yourself needing to stand firm on?

1 Corinthians 15:58

9 As a Christian, you’re 10 When can peer pressure be not to blend in with the a good thing? lifestyle of your unsaved friends. Make a list of three people in your sphere of influence that you are a light to.

Titus 2:7,8

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Watch a movie that illustrates peer pressure.

What would you say to the characters involved?

Journal: Write about a time when you gave into negative peer pressure.

What was the outcome?

What did you learn?

1 Corinthians 10:13

James 4:4

Matthew 5:14-16

peer pressure 15

Look up the definition of cynical. Based on this Scripture, how does cynicism differ from how we should act and feel as a Christian?

Colossians 3:12

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Do you know someone that is really cynical? What do the actions and attitudes of someone who is cynical look like?

Call a friend and go get ice cream. Commit to each other to be renewed and get rid of cynicism. Keep each other accountable.

You know you need a heart-check with you start being cynical towards God. Take some time to examine your heart and repent of any cynicism.

1 Peter 3:8,9

Ephesians 4:23,24

Romans 2:4

19 It can be easy to become cynical when you hang out with cynical people.

Make a list of some phrases you can say to change the tone of cynical conversations.

Psalm 1:1

cynicism 22

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What does the Bible say we should do when we are faced with someone who is our enemy? What are some practical ways of dealing with a bully?

Do you have bullying tendencies? Re-write this verse in your own words and examine your heart.

Luke 6:31-36

Galatians 5:26

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Think of a few bullying scenarios that you could handle yourself. Think of a few scenarios where you would need to involve a parent or teacher.

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Joseph was the victim of bullying. Can you think of someone in your life who has been bullied? How can you help?

1 Peter 3:9

Genesis 37:18-32

bullying 29

Get involved in a discipleship group where the teacher models Christ in every area off her/his life — doesn’t just preach it.

32Philippians 4:9

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Why is continued study of Scripture important to us as Christians?

1 Timothy 3:16,17

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Write a thank you note to a Sunday school teacher, youth leader, Girls Clubs leader, etc., who has helped you learn more about God.

John 8:31,32

discipleship c

2011 Gospel Publishing House. Springfield, MO 65802. All rights reserved.

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It can be really easy to take on the actions, the language, and the attitudes of the people around you.

How do your friends play a part in this?

Romans 12:2