5 minute read
Compassion
A LITTLE
Everyone has lost loved ones at some point, but it’s never been more important for salon and barbershop owners to have suitable bereavement policies in place – and know how to support grieving employees.
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WORDS GEORGINA FULLER
The past 18 months or so have been diffi cult due to Covid-19, with hundreds of thousands of people having been aff ected by bereavement.
Under UK law, anyone who is classed as an employee has the right to a ‘reasonable’ amount of time off if a dependant such as a partner, parent or child dies, or if they have a stillborn baby. Additionally, in January 2020, ‘Jack’s Law’ came into force. Th is entitles eligible working parents who lose a child under the age of 18, or who suff er a stillbirth from 24 weeks of pregnancy, to two weeks’ paid leave. Many businesses have also introduced a miscarriage policy.
Th e Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service (Acas) says: ‘It’s a good idea to have a policy that covers time off and pay for bereavement. A policy helps make clear what staff are entitled to, and how managers can respond and support staff .
‘Even if there is a policy, employers should make allowances. For example, a recently bereaved person may not be in the right frame of mind to read it straight away.’
So, what are the dos and don’ts when it comes to managing bereavement in the workplace?
ADVICE MAN TALK
Miscarriage, trauma and bereavement may not be something men fi nd easy to discuss, especially in a male environment such as a barbershop. However, Mark Williams, author, speaker, trainer and consultant on men’s mental health, says: ‘It’s about normalising the conversations, telling them it’s okay not to be okay.’
If an employee’s partner has suff ered a miscarriage, let them know that taking time off is an option. ‘It’s vital to have a conversation about how someone is coping,’ Mark says. ‘There is a range of services and professional help available which managers can share, including the Miscarriage for Men website.’
Early intervention is crucial, Mark adds. ‘If the employer shows empathy and understanding, the employee will remember that support and become even more loyal,’ he notes.
Empathy is also good for business. ‘If an employee is struggling, he may have to take more time off in the future, which can have a greater cost to the business in the long run,’ Mark says. Do help people to grieve
Lauren Rosenberg, author of How to move forward when the unthinkable happens, says: ‘Allow staff to express emotions in a compassionate environment. Tell them that you are there to support them and that they are not on their own.’
Do remember that everyone deals with things differently
Returning to work can be diffi cult, but remember that grief aff ects everyone diff erently. ‘Some people may welcome the distraction, whereas others might fi nd it overwhelming,’ says Andy Langford, clinical director at Cruse Bereavement Care charity.
‘Lots of things can trigger grief, so tell your employees they can speak with their manager and colleagues if they are fi nding it tough.’ Do remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve
Bereavement is a personal thing, says Lauren. ‘Loss is a personal journey. It’s important to acknowledge the loss and be aware of the stages of grief, such as shock, denial, pain, anger, depression and, fi nally, acceptance.’
Don’t make any presumptions
‘Don’t say “I know how you feel” or “there’s a reason for everything” or “be strong”,’ Lauren advises. Instead, try telling them how sorry you are and asking how you can help.
Do be fl exible
Try to understand how ‘up and down’ your employee will be feeling and accommodate them, whether that’s changing some of their work days or giving them time off to see a counsellor.
Don’t forget to let them know you care
‘Do speak to your employee about the person they miss – share good memories with them about the person they have lost,’ says Lauren. ‘Be supportive – buy them a coff ee or a little treat to show them you care.’
Do let them know you’re there for them
‘Make sure they know that you are there for them and they can talk to you anytime, but don’t make them feel they have to talk if they don’t want to. If they want some space, respect that,’ Lauren says.
Do seek advice
If you’re struggling to know how to support a grieving employee, there are places you can go to for advice, including the NHBF’s bereavement blog and absence management guide: nhbf. co.uk/bereavement and nhbf.co.uk/
absence-management-guide
Members can also get professional advice from the NHBF’s 24/7 legal helpline: nhbf.co.uk/legal-support
If it’s you who is grieving – do look after yourself
‘Understand that the grieving process will be unique to you and be aware of ways to look after yourself. Speak to your friends, listen to calm music, go for walk and, if necessary, seek professional help,’ Lauren says.
THE SALON OWNER MICHELLE DRURY-LOPEZ
Owner of Mint Salon in Surrey, which has had a bereavement policy since it opened 14 years ago.
I couldn’t fi nd much information at the time, so I drafted it myself. My thinking was that a grieving employee would not be able to work well, and should be entitled to space and time to grieve without having to worry fi nancially,’ she says.
The policy entitles any employee to at least one week off , fully paid, if they suff er the death of an immediate family member. This could be changed depending on the circumstances, for instance, the loss of a child in accordance with Jack’s Law.
I would look to support them in every way – time off for the funeral, counselling, maybe reduced working hours once they return to work.
I have six employees and most have been with me for about 10 years, so we have a close relationship. My policy may not apply to somewhere with a huge turnover of staff , but I would still implement it if it was a new member of staff . Everyone should be entitled to grieve.
