Fall 2012 by North by Northwestern

NORTH BY FALL 2012

introducing

RELIGION’S

SCIENTIFIC

MYSTERY MAN father

JOHN KARTJE

unbreakable

BONDS How the Wildcats came to embrace a young girl’s fight against cancer

PLUS: Bailey in his own words A road trip through time 5 ways to transform your dorm Make your oatmeal the breakfast of champions

GENIUS

YOUR FAVORITE COLD WEATHER BREWS

SPIKED pg.8

hookah THE NOT-SO-SAFE ALTERNATIVE pg. 14

q u d a

33 SWEET BEATS

SEEK OUT YOUR

SPIRITUAL JalenMotes with

PG. 23

O OP

UNCOVERING

} SC

SIDE pg. 20

chicago's

hidden pg. 33

musical gems



busted? A GUIDE FOR GETTING AWAY WITH IT pg. 46

Published with support from Campus Progress, a division of the Center for American Progress. Online at CampusProgress.org

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Y O U R G U I D E T O L I V I N G S M A R T.

PLUS:

Fall into seasonal spirit with Mason jar-based crafts. Photograph by PRISCILLA LIU NORTHBYNORTHWESTERN.COM | 5

HOME photo: priscilla liu; illustrations: kk rebecca lai

Jar Light, Jar Bright Keep your decor homey, not homely. B Y S A R O N S T RAIT

esigned in 1858 to preserve Granny’s homemade strawberry jam, Mason jars have a new purpose as the foundation for many DIY home decor projects. Because Mason jars often cost less than a dollar, these crafts are ideal for college students looking to spice up their spaces on a tight budget.

HOLIDAY LUMINARY With the holiday season just around the corner, save your hard-earned cash for gifts and plane tickets. Instead, you can brighten your space on a budget with these festive luminaries. 1 Mason jar, 1 can enamel spray paint, 1 tealight candle, holiday stickers Place holiday stickers and spray thick coat of paint over entire jar. Once dry, peel off stickers and place tealight candle in jar. Light candle and stick luminary on a shelf, on a windowsill or over a fireplace for a warm and cheery holiday look. Tip: Use an LED candle for safe illumination and an X-Acto knife to remove stickers—this will prevent the surrounding paint from peeling off.

LETTERED MASON JAR Perfect for displaying favorite quotes or messages, a lettered Mason jar can also serve as a vase, pencil holder, bookend or simple shelf ornament. 1 Mason jar, 1 permanent marker, 1 glue gun, 1 can enamel spray paint Using permanent marker, write a word, quote, message or design on Mason jar. Trace over marker lines. Let glue dry for 10 minutes. Cover jar in a thin layer of paint with enamel spray can. Once jar is dry, use as a vase or as shelf decor. Tips: A larger Mason jar may work best for quotes and messages, and words may be easier to write out in puffy paint than with a glue gun.

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BEACH PICTURE FRAME Trying to frame that unforgettable vacation to the beach last summer, or a trip to one of Lake Michigan’s many beautiful sandy spots along campus? Ditch the old picture frame and use this simple craft to highlight your favorite moments. 1 Mason jar, 1 photo, sand, various sea shells Fill one quarter of Mason jar with sand and tilt until slope forms in jar. Firmly place picture at top of slope. Scatter shells and other decorative items in sand on lower end of slope. Tips: Use a larger jar to display more than one picture. Wallet-sized pictures fit easily in most Mason jar sizes.

REDNECK WINE GLASS Save your money for quality booze by making your own personalized wine glasses, which will also ensure that you never get your drink confused with anyone else’s. 1 Mason jar, 1 small candlestick holder, 1 sheet of sand paper, E-6000 craft glue Sand top of candlestick holder and bottom of Mason jar to create rivets, which will allow craft glue to bond two pieces together. Generously apply craft glue to top of candlestick holder then center on bottom of Mason jar, pressing firmly for 30 seconds. Let sit until glue dries. Tip: Embellish the glass with enamel paint, ribbon, flowers or other decorative items.

E Y ABBY SHUR

Embellish your room with something that inspires you, whether it’s a TV poster or print rug. Try to keep your token of motivation in the same color family as the rest of your room by combining pillows, bedding and wall decorations for a cohesive feel.

Letting light into your dorm keeps it from looking gloomy, and framing that light can change its entire feel. Hanging up curtains (to replace the bleak, patterned ones in Hinman, for example) will make a huge difference. Install the regular window blinds and add sheer or brightly-colored curtains to enliven the space. Corkboard can be both functional and decorative. Office supply stores have combination corkboard/whiteboards that you can use to write messages and pin up important fliers or notes.

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Photos! Prints from sites like Snapfish and Shutterfly cost as little as 9 cents each (and sometimes less with email discounts). You can get prints of any size, so make a collage of 20 or more 4 by 6-inch pictures or hang up a framed 8 by 10-inch portrait. Show off the cool places you’ve been or the friends from home you’re constantly chatting with on Skype. Add pictures every quarter—you’ll want your new friends and Northwestern experiences on the wall, too.

Use Mod Podge to adhere a map, some pictures or posters from the Norris poster sale to a blank canvas (assorted sizes available at Dick Blick Art Materials). For a simple statement, use a big map or movie poster on cotton canvas and center it on a section of bare wall. To decorate more space, evenly arrange a few smaller prints on the wall between them, either in a grid or free form.

photo: sunny lee

DRINK

CHOCOLATE CALIENTE HOT BUTTERED RUM A grown-up version of a children’s drink, spiked Mexican hot chocolate—with its flavorful cinnamon schnapps—is perfect for those cold rainy days.

This classic drink has been around since the 1650s, and for good reason. Spicy and smooth, it will make you nostalgic for those drunken holiday family gatherings.

Ingredients (serves 1): K tbsp cocoa powder 2 tbsp white sugar O cup whole milk K tsp ground cinnamon Dash of cayenne pepper 1 oz. dark rum 1 oz. cinnamon schnapps

Ingredients (serves 6): K stick unsalted butter, softened 1 cup light brown sugar K tsp ground cinnamon N tsp grated nutmeg Pinch of ground cloves Pinch of salt 12 oz. dark rum Boiling water

Heat milk in a small saucepan over medium heat until boiling. Mix in cocoa powder, sugar, cinnamon and cayenne pepper and then lower heat. Combine hot chocolate, rum and schnapps in a glass and serve.

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In a bowl, mix together butter, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and salt until evenly distributed. Refrigerate mixture until firm. Put approximately T of mixture into six mugs. Pour 3 ounces of rum into each mug. Fill the rest of the mugs with boiling water; drink when ready.

Black Friday’s no fun without a hangover. BY ARI SILLMAN

CRANBERRY COCKTAIL STEAMY SPIKED CIDER Take advantage of in-season cranberries to produce a cocktail that is both tangy and sweet. Ingredients (serves 3): O cup sugar 1 cup fresh or frozen cranberries 1 K cups London dry gin K cup plus 1 tbsp off-dry sherry 6 mint sprigs

photo: daniel schuleman

Boil O cup water and sugar in a medium saucepan; stir until sugar is dissolved. Remove from heat. Pour off all but 1 cup simple syrup, and refrigerate the remainder. Heat syrup in pan almost to a boil, then reduce heat to medium. Add cranberries and simmer 2 to 3 minutes. Let cool in syrup. Place 2 tablespoons drained cranberries and 6 tablespoons cranberry syrup in a large pitcher. Vigorously mash fruit. Stir in gin and sherry. Let steep for 5 minutes.

Apple cider and rum is the perfect combination. This drink will keep you warm on those chilly fall days while you’re out tailgating, and ease the heart palpitations you’d normally have while watching the Cardiac ‘Cats. Ingredients (serves 1): 2 quarts apple cider 2 cloves 2 cinnamon sticks 1 oz. apple brandy In a small saucepan, heat cider with cloves and cinnamon and let simmer for 5 to 7 minutes. Pour apple brandy into a glass. Fill the rest of the glass with cider, making sure to remove any stray cloves, and serve.

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EAT

Taste the story in every bowl. BY NOLAN FEENEY

ut down the bowl and back away from the microwave. You’re in the extreme oatmeal club now, and we don’t mess around with that instant shit. We’re all about the real deal, the old-fashioned oats you can boil, because what’s all that extra fiber worth if you’re drowning it in ingredients you can’t pronounce? Oatmeal should be a wholesome experience, like doing yoga or calling your mom. But it should also be like a Sunday afternoon Netflix binge: fun and guilt-free. So whether you draw inspiration from your favorite television shows or campus snacks, keep reading—you’ll find something that floats your oats. HOW TO PREPARE THE OATMEAL A cup may not seem like much, but before you bite off more than you can chew, know that your oats will expand once you get them all hot and bothered with a cup

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and a half of water on high heat. Add your oats when your water boils, and stir for at least a minute or until all your ingredients have settled at the desired consistency. When it comes to homemade oatmeal, thickness is your prerogative.

THE BREAKING BAD K cup blueberries 2 tbsp sugar (the crystal kind, duh!) 2 tsp cinnamon 1 tsp vanilla extract K cup milk

Fresh blueberries and crystal cane sugar make this breakfast treat better for your soul than Walter White’s blue crystal meth, but it’s just as addictive. OK, so maybe you won’t form a habit, but if you stir in the berries while your oats are hot to get them soft, it’ll be enough to win back the confidence of your skeptical wife and disappointed son.

THE NORBUCKS K 15 oz. can pumpkin puree 1 tsp vanilla extract 3 tbsp brown sugar 1 tsp nutmeg 1 tbsp cinnamon 1 cup almond milk

This recipe is literally everything you could want in the world: a pumpkin spice latte in food form, plus the ambience of Norbucks without the awkward encounters with people you hooked up with and will never speak to again. This recipe is about excess, so plop in some pumpkin and be generous with the whipped cream and brown sugar. Skinny can wait.

THE CRÊPE BISTRO 4 to 5 strawberries or 1 banana 3 tbsp Nutella or peanut butter 1 tbsp powdered sugar 1 shot Grand Marnier (optional)

First, take a moment of silence to remember our favorite fallen campus institution. And then do its legacy proud by doing what it does best: combining fresh fruit and hella Nutella, or peanut butter, whichever is on hand. If you really want to relive the memories and get crazy, go for the shot of Grand Marnier liqueur— it’s crêpe happy hour somewhere, right?

THE RON FUCKING SWANSON 2.5 tbsp maple syrup 3 to 4 bacon strips, chopped

Did we miss the conference where everyone decided to fetishize bacon? Is this the same conference where girls decided the word “moist” was gross? No matter, because the burliest bureaucrat of Pawnee has good taste. His personality may be unsavory, but deep down, Ron is a sweet guy, so honor him with his favorite pig product and two shots of maple syrup.

THE PROMISED LAND K cup milk or almond milk 1 tbsp honey 1 sliced banana Walnuts and raisins as desired 1 scoop protein powder (optional)

Milk and honey are the only ingredients promised in the book of Exodus, but why stop there? Chop up some banana slices and throw in some walnuts and raisins for the road and you’ll be saying “holy trail mix!” in no time. For a twist, add in some almond milk, and use its nondairy sweetness to cover up the protein powder. After all, parting the Red Sea can be hard work.

photo: daniel schuleman

Gettin’ Real With Oatmeal

Taking Lunch Beyond Tupperware Growing up, having a packed lunch for a field trip meant all the best goodies. Though many underclassmen still enjoy the perks of dining halls, students living off-campus are on their own when it comes to feeding themselves. It’s up to them to recapture the magic of bagged lunches by making lunch packing easier, faster and a little more fun. BY LAUREN LINDSTROM

PackIt

LunchSkins

Bento Boxes

black+blum Lunch Pot

This handy tool eliminates the mess and bulk of an ice pack. Bring as many perishables as you want without worrying that they’ll go bad. Simply freeze the bag overnight, pack your lunch in the morning and the bag will keep the food cold until your noon dash between Tech and Fisk. It’s a little pricey for a lunch sack, but it comes in 14 patterns and six solid colors so you can eat in style. ($19.95, packit.com)

These reusable sandwich bags are bright, eco-friendly, dishwasher-safe and Oprah-approved. What more convincing do you need? The makers of LunchSkins aim to reduce the carbon footprint of plastic bags and other lunch trash. The bags come in sandwich, sub and snack sizes and a variety of colors and patterns. ($8.95 for sandwich bags, lunchskins.com)

These bright, stackable boxes do the thinking for you when it comes to covering all your food groups and controlling portions. The smaller containers are sized to pack a variety of veggies, protein and grain. There’s no triangular compartment for your cold pizza, but the box does help separate your foods for a fulfilling lunch. ($24-38, laptoplunches.com)

For those looking for more variety than a simple sandwich, the black+blum Lunch Pot makes transporting messier foods less of an ordeal. These watertight canisters fit together and keep foods like noodles and sauce or yogurt and granola fresh and separate until it’s time to eat. ($23, black-blum.com)

Banana Saver

This may be a “first world problem,” but who hasn’t thrown a banana in a bag or backpack and rediscovered it battered and mushy? The great people at bananasaver. com have you covered. This plastic guard protects your banana from bumps and bruises and costs $5.50 at Uncle Dan’s.

photos: daniel schuleman; illustrations: sarah lowe

Mon Chéri, Dairy Cheese up your love.

BY SARA H S T E I N M E I E R America is involved in a love affair worthy of People magazine. The lovers’ identities? Just peruse the dairy section in Whole Foods to see a small sample. The average American eats 31.4 pounds of cheese every year, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. Clearly we love our cheeses, but what type of lovers are they?

Gorgonzola

Gorgonzola’s bold smell and flavor earn it the title of “Most Passionate Lover.” At times bordering on overwhelming,

Gorgonzola is a cheese that titillates the palate. This risotto recipe showcases the passionate side of Gorgonzola by pairing it with the subtler flavor of cucumber. Gorgonzola and Cucumber Risotto L cup Gorgonzola L cup heavy cream 1 cup risotto rice Vegetable or chicken stock 10 finely chopped cucumbers N cup milk 1 tbsp pepper Blend together Gorgonzola and heavy cream; set aside. In large pot, toast

risotto rice until warm to the touch. Add 1 cup boiling stock at a time, alternating between vegetable or chicken stock and cucumber soup (puree of chopped cucumbers, milk and pepper). Keep rice fully covered by liquid, stirring constantly, until rice is almost fully cooked, then remove from heat. Add cheese mixture to taste, stirring vigorously to transform the rice’s texture. Serve immediately.

Ricotta

A surprisingly versatile cheese, ricotta is the “Most Adventurous Lover.” Ricotta can be used in a wide range of

dishes, from standard lasagna to Easter grain pies. Venturing on the sweeter side, it can help keep cookies moist for up to a week.

Feta

Feta is “The Cougar” in this complicated love triangle. First produced around 5,000 years ago, feta is one of the world’s oldest cheeses, and it continues to seduce generation after generation with its salty taste and crumbly texture. Discover more recipes featuring your favorite cheese loves at northbynorthwestern.com.

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LOVE

Linked In, Left Out You’re not alone in your loneliness. B Y E M I LY F ERBER

echnology is supposed to make everything easier, right? Wrong. It seems our addiction to Facebook and 3G actually plagues us with loneliness, fating us to become the most forsaken generation of college students. Thank you, Mr. Zuckerberg. On its surface, this argument appears difficult to unseat: Our reaction speed to text message alerts is almost Pavlovian. We can barely make it through lecture without writing a few Facebook posts. So perhaps it stands to reason that our reliance on social technology so confines us to a cell phone or laptop screen that we can no

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longer communicate if not behind the security blanket of a keyboard. “Back in the mid-90s there was none of this shit,” says Drew Magary, a columnist for Deadspin and correspondent for GQ. Last year, Magary penned “The Loneliness of the American Transfer Student,” a Deadspin article detailing his four years at two schools practically without any friends. “I remember getting a Eudora account right at the end of my senior year [of college], and it looked like a DOS interface,” he says, referring to Microsoft’s primitive operating system. But he’s not sure if the existence of social networks hurts or helps to-

day’s college student. If we view digital communication platforms as logical extensions of our social lives into the ether of the Internet, it makes sense for our real-life tendencies in social situations to be heightened online. If you feel lonely on campus or at a party, you will likely experience the same feelings, if not more strongly, on Facebook. “There are certain norms for behavior online, for what you can say and what you can’t say,” Professor Gary Allen Fine says, explaining how we don’t talk about feeling lonely in casual conversation. Fine, the director of graduate studies in Northwestern’s

Sociology Department, says we often suffer from “pluralistic ignorance,” meaning we tend to think our negative feelings are unique, even if others are feeling the same way. “If people on Facebook don’t talk about how lonely they are and you’re on Facebook and you’re lonely, then you think that no one else is lonely.” Are we so self-absorbed that we think we’re lonelier? Or is it that we’re interpreting our lives as lonely because we are bombarded with images of connectedness at every turn? “This is where technology can exacerbate negative social interactions, now that everything is public,” says

photo: sunny lee (linked out); daniel schuleman (vibrations)

Adam Waytz, Kellogg professor and social psychologist, who posits that “there are a lot more opportunities for judgment and surveillance. What that leads to is people not revealing their true selves as much.” Though it’s obvious the photoand-friend focus of Facebook pushes the average college student to ditch the library, grab a Solo cup and upload pictures with his or her phone, the pressure to party is not new to the college psyche. Magary says he blames “any college ‘80s movie, basically” for his high expectations of the college social scene. “I always put pressure on

myself to have a good time and live up to whatever wet dream I had about college, and that’s always a recipe for disaster.” Social media and movies aside, we should consider other circumstances. We get to college after what is arguably the most self-centered time of our lives: senior year of high school. Though today it employs hoards of others, including multiple college counselors and test prep tutors per student, the college application process is, in and of itself, a self-absorbing process. Why do you deserve a spot at our school? What merits have you achieved? And while sometimes cheating happens, no one’s taking that SAT Subject Test in math for you. “It’s a period of major instability,” Waytz says about the transition from high school to college. “I think freshman year could be potentially one of the loneliest times in people’s lives because it’s the first time leaving home and leaving a very secure base.” Because of such a jarring change, it stands to reason that we’ve already been conditioned to be self-centered, not only as a result of our means of communication, but also because of our education. “When we make a transition, you don’t have those cues to let us know how common things are,” Fine says. “If you’re a freshman, 18 years old, you don’t have the cues to let you know others feel the same.” However, Fine asserts that while most students feel lonely at some point in their college careers, it may not be such a negative experience. “You have to distinguish between loneliness as a trait or as something you feel regularly or strongly that interferes with your life and might be tied to depression,” he says. And while that distinction seems an important one to make, maybe we should focus on the idea that being alone is something completely separate from being lonely. Facebook might show you that you are not alone, but it won’t cure the loneliness you feel. Unfortunately, there’s no app for that. o

Good Vibrations You don’t have to learn the hard way. BY SARAH LOWE

“N

ot all sex toys are created equal,” says Jai Broome, Weinberg senior and public relations chair for Northwestern’s Sexual Health and Assault Peer Educators. “Some toys vibrate, some don’t. Some look kinda like penises, some look nothing like penises.” No matter what their appearance or function, sex toys suffer from cultural assumptions about the types of toys out there—and the people who use them. Here are some common myths about sex toys that could be holding you back.

MYTH:

All vibrators are dildos. While vibrators can be used for penetration, that’s not their only purpose. Most vibrators are designed for external use through stimulation of the clitoris, labia or anus. They can run on batteries or electricity. A dildo, on the other hand, is a stationary object designed for penetration, which won’t move unless you move it manually. Some vibrators, like the Slimline, can become dildos when you shut them off, but others, like the Hitachi Magic Wand or Wahl Coil, are not designed for internal use.

MYTH:

Clitoral orgasms are “immature and inferior” to vaginal orgasms. At least that’s what Freud once said, despite, you know, not possessing

either of the aforementioned body parts. Still, his beliefs have persisted for generations, leading many to feel frustrated and “broken” when they can’t orgasm through vaginal intercourse. Modern sex researchers, however, have found a significant amount of data to show a majority of people can and do have clitoral orgasms. By using different toys, you can try out which sensations feel good and best help you reach whichever type of orgasm you want.

MYTH:

Lube isn’t important.

Lube is non-negotiable for anal play involving penetration. Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating, so you need plenty of lube and relaxation before inserting anything into it. Lube is also useful for vaginal play, and the need for it does not mean you or your partner is dysfunctional or insufficiently aroused. Lube can enhance all kinds of play, from handjobs to oral, vaginal and anal sex. There are many kinds of lube, such as water-, oil- or siliconebased. Each comes with its own pros and cons, and you should properly research it before you incorporate it into your sex life. Look for how they interact with latex condoms and whether they contain allergenic ingredients. Flavored lubes, Broome warns, should only be used for oral and not vaginal sex as they can cause yeast infections.

MYTH:

People who use sex toys are losers who can’t find someone to love.

There is no shame in using sex toys to explore and take control of your sexuality. The idea that they act as replacements or competition to the real thing is “inherently flawed,” Broome says. Sex toys can help you figure out what you like so you can communicate it to your partner. Just remember to keep toys clean and use a new condom when going from person to person—or hole to hole. If your partner is reluctant to use sex toys, try sitting them down for a non-judgmental talk. Let them know that toys can lead to more enjoyable sex, and using them doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a lover. o

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BODY

Shun The Shisha

nside Argila Hookah Bar in Morton Grove, Ill., green party lights dance on the walls and hip-hop beats pump in the background. A fruity smokiness hangs in the air. Hookah smoking is a growing trend among college-age Americans, and more than 50 lounges are scattered throughout the Chicagoland area. But the biggest reason why young adults smoke hookah is the false belief that hookah is a safe and more social alternative to cigarettes. “It’s something you do with a group of friends,” Communication sophomore Josh Schwartz says. “It’s not about the act of smoking. It’s about the act of doing it with people.” A hookah works by heating tobacco with charcoal, and then the smoke is drawn through water and inhaled. The owner of Argila Hookah Bar, Saboor Hanif, says many of his clients keep coming back because they believe hookah is safe. “It’s a more healthy choice to go with—if you really want to smoke—than a cigarette or a cigar,” he says. Doctors disagree. It’s a common myth that the hookah water filters toxins. The

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water only cools the smoke and makes it more palatable, not safer. Statistics from the American Lung Association show that a hookah smoker inhales about 100 to 200 times as much smoke as a cigarette smoker in one session, and hookah contains many carcinogens and toxins found in cigarettes. “There’s not only the nicotine, an addictive substance, but also the products of combustion which contain chemicals that are harmful as well, as many of them are carcinogens,” says Eileen Lowery, senior director of programs for the Respiratory Health Association. “So then the health concerns are the same as they are for any inhaled tobacco product ... It’s really kind of scary because it is so popular and the tobacco industry is very aware of ways that they target the 19 to 24-yearold population in as many as ways as they possibly can." But Hanif and the hookah community continue to bill the pastime as mostly free of health risks. “Just don’t order a bad flavor,” Hanif warns.

photo: sunny kang

Hookah’s harmlessness is all smoke and mirrors. B Y M A R K O L A LDE

This Is Spinal Stance

Keep Up Your Necks-ercise

Preserve your posture with these ergonomic positions. BY SHIRLEY LI

he ideal studying position calls for a straight spine, elbows bent at an angle of 90 to 110 degrees, feet flat on the floor and eyes pointed directly at your reading material. Quick: How many of these are you doing correctly? According to Dr. Carolina Carmona, a research physical therapist at the Feinberg School of Medicine, this posture helps lessen the stress on lower back muscles and the neck, the two most commonly affected areas of a student’s body. “Poor posture while studying changes the natural curves in your spine,” Carmona says. “Over time, muscles and soft tissues are going to be overloaded and then inflamed. Blood flow may be compromised. Pain will manifest as headaches—and anywhere in the back or upper extremities.” But if you’re not a stickler for proper posture, there’s no need to overstretch yourself trying to follow these rules. Using a few objects around your dorm or apartment and making some adjustments to your workstation can make all the difference. After all, who consciously and repeatedly tells themselves to sit up straight? You’ve got other things to worry about. Instead, we’ve got you covered with some expert tips to help ease that studying strain.

Forget Facebook

Take your lecture to the next level with these video games. B Y C O N N O R S E A RS illustration: alexis n. sanchez

Start wasting time in class the fun way— with these lecture-safe video games. These types of games require no sound, no conspicuously furious clicking and can easily be glanced up from at any time to at least pretend like you’re paying attention. So next time you’re stuck in your two-hour lecture, give these games a try.

An “S” Curve is the Best Curve “When you sit, especially over desks, that arch in your lower back goes away, and you put a lot of load on your vertebral disks,” says Dr. Mark Sleeper, a physical therapist at the Feinberg School of Medicine. “Because of a flat back or flexed back posture, the disks can get injured.” Sleeper says the key to protecting the lumbar spine (lower back) from chronic posture problems is to help maintain the small arch that appears when you’re sitting. To keep the lower back comfortable, try the following: If you use an office chair, adjust the height so your feet are flat on the floor and you’re not straining your back to bend over your work. Sit with your back all the way against the chair to help maintain the arch. If you can’t adjust your chair, use pillows or blankets to pad the seat and back, forming an “S” curve to guide your posture. Use an exercise ball as a chair. “The ball really forces the use of the muscles to support yourself,” Sleeper says.

The neck, or cervical spine, is often hurt as well, but this is mainly because “a flat top desk is really not designed for good body mechanics,” Sleeper says. “Basically, if you’re over your laptop, or you’re over a book, you bend your neck forward and that puts strain on the disks and the muscles of the neck.” Instead, find ways to reposition your reading materials. For example: Use other objects to prop up and hold your book so it’s tilted toward you like a laptop screen. This helps you look straight at the book instead of looking down.

Pad your keyboard with something soft so your wrists aren’t pressed against a hard surface.

Give Yourself a Break “The ideal situation is to have a good balance between exercise, building muscle strength and flexibility,” Carmona says. Sleeper recommends taking twoto three-minute breaks every 20 minutes. Stand up, stretch and even jump around if you want to, because any activity will help move the lubricating fluids in your joints. You could be in the middle of reading the most fascinating paragraphs ever printed in a textbook, but these breaks will keep your joints healthy in the long run.

Keep your textbook or laptop in the same spot in front of you, not off to the side. Carmona suggests keeping your laptop screen about 18 to 24 inches away from your eyes.

Rest Your Wrist Hand cramps are a common side effect, especially if you’re endlessly tapping away at your keyboard or taking notes by hand. Though you can adjust your chair to accommodate the recommended elbow angle, you can also:

Purchase pads or use pens and pencils with bigger grips that are about three-fourths of an inch in diameter, according to Sleeper.

GAME TYPE

BEST TITLES

DESCRIPTION

Point-and-click

Crimson Room, Escape the Car, Gateway, Warbears, Hapland, Submachine

These games are played solely with the mouse. To make up for the lack of complex controls, they often involve a lot of strategizing and out-of-the-box thinking.

Arcade-style Flash

Crush the Castle, Penguin Baseball, Wolf Games Apple Shooter, Ragdoll Cannon, Bloons

These games are all about repetition, performing the same actions again and again in different situations. They’re simple. They’re manipulative. And they’re fun.

Turn-based RPG

Pokémon, Fire Emblem, Final Fantasy, Earthbound

All of the action happens in a no-rush menu setting. And with the magic of emulators, almost any old RPG can be played right on your desktop with just a couple downloads.

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#Me, @Myself And I Is the Internet unleashing our unconscious? B Y S H A U NACY F ERRO

very day, you probably wake up thinking, “How can I become famous on the Internet?” You may not be thinking “How do my Web interactions provide a window into my soul?” Although most of us are Web natives for whom posting a Facebook status is second nature, what we put on teh interwebz reveals something about our needs and desires as humans. “It’s almost like [devices have] ceased being technologies,” says Maria Mastronardi, an associate professor of Communication. Mastronardi, who studies online interaction, helped us decipher some of the different ways we present our identities on the Web.

Apps Assemble!

Suit up your software soldiers. B Y C H R I S S Y LEE

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Your Facebook “About Me” reads a lot like your LinkedIn profile.

Your favorite part of The Sims was the vibrating bed.

You loved College ACB.

Young people manage their online reputations more than any other demographic. According to data from the Pew Research Center, 49 percent of people between the ages of 18 and 29 who have social profiles untag themselves from photos, and 56 percent delete other people’s comments from their profiles. “You have to raise an assumption that whatever people decide to put on a Facebook site, they do it consciously and they do it with some intention, like they’re trying to accomplish something,” Mastronardi says. In other words, with every status update, you’re saying something about how you want to be perceived. In many ways, having an active online presence is like living with Big Brother. Despite your best attempts, it’s nearly impossible to control your online identity. Even if you’re a serial untagger, anyone can post a photo of you from last weekend on Facebook. “In some ways there’s a little bit of a backlash trying to hoard all of this in,” Mastronardi says.

Technology doesn’t create needs for people as much as people use it to help gratify existing desires. But even with that it’s not easy to explain why we do the things we do. Mastronardi teaches a course using Second Life, the less popular younger brother of The Sims. Second Life is a unit of her New Media as Popular Culture class, but students also explore other online identities. In the game, you can use “Linden Dollars” to give characters the ability to have sex. “[What] Second Life has turned into today is really ... a place where people now go to engage in kind of what we consider illicit kind of online encounters,” she says. But why buy the cow when you could get milk in real life? “[In her research, my student] asked Second Life participants, ‘Well, why do you have ten mistresses in Second Life? Why do you operate in a different gender in Second Life?’” she says. “Researchers cannot always be certain how deeply their research participants understand their own motivations for the things they do online.”

The original online gossip mill may be gone, but it hasn’t been forgotten (a new version, Collegiate ACB, appeared this fall). Mastronardi says it provided an unfiltered look into a side students usually hide from faculty and one another. When the site shut down, Mastronardi was working on comparing message board conversations from various types of colleges. Mastronardi says there’s a sociological model that differentiates between a “front stage” and “back stage,” the way you act when you have an audience versus when no one’s watching. In anonymous online commentary, you can shine on the back stage. “If you can think about [College ACB] as the ‘back stage,’ this is where you see all of the kind of anger and frustration and competitiveness kind of come out,” she says. “The discourse at Northwestern seemed much angrier and more aggressive, suggesting perhaps higher levels of anxiety here ... In some ways a traditional college environment, it’s always about finding your place in the pecking order.”

STOP IGNORING THOSE PESKY UPDATE NOTIFICATIONS. Operating system and software updates boost security and performance—and take nearly zero effort to install, says Wendy Woodward, director of NUIT Technology Support Services. Spend the two minutes each month to give your computer the mini-upgrade it needs. USE ANTIVIRUS SOFTWARE. NUIT’s website provides free Symantec downloads to all students for both Mac and PC.

SET LONG, COMPLEX PASSWORDS FOR ALL ACCOUNTS AND DEVICES. And keep them secret, even from your closest friends. Duh. AVOID ACCESSING PERSONAL INFORMATION AT CAFÉS AND ON OTHER PUBLIC WI-FI NETWORKS. If you must check your bank account balance at Unicorn Cafe, load the Northwestern virtual private network (VPN), which creates a secure “tunnel” for your computer, hiding all browser activity and password entries from

spies, Woodward says. Installation is a breeze, and the NUIT website takes you step by step. ILLEGAL DOWNLOADING: NOT WORTH IT. JUST PAY THE $1.29. Downloaded music files might seem harmless, but they sometimes contain embedded viruses that could invade your computer, wiping out your bank account or deleting that final paper you labored over for days, Woodward says. Don’t be cheap: Free music isn’t worth the risk.

photo: daniel schuleman; illustration: alexis n. sanchez

INFO

WHAT ’S GOING ON AROUND CAMPUS

PLUS:

Northwestern students don’t misuse this medicine. Photograph by DANIEL SCHULEMAN NORTHBYNORTHWESTERN.COM | 17

CAMPUS

Chemicals For Concentration Northwestern students aren’t so dependent on study drugs. BY SUSIE NEILSON “The perception is dramatically off,” says Lisa Currie, director of the Health Promotion and Wellness office. Currie provided data on students’ perceived versus actual use of non-prescribed stimulants. “It does seem to the students themselves, everyone’s doing it … when in reality there’s a small percentage,” says Lynn Gerstein, the alcohol and other drugs specialist at Northwestern’s Counseling and Psychological Services. She says that Northwestern’s rates keep it below the 8.5 percent nationwide average for undergraduate institutions, according to a 2011 NCHA core survey. Gerstein says she is surprised by national rates of non-prescribed stimulant use, which have remained remarkably steady over the past several decades despite growing media coverage of study drugs that includes in-depth stories by the New York Times. However, Currie believes the numbers make sense. She says that the growing national conversation around study drugs has only increased students’ misperceptions, not their actual usage rates. “Northwestern kids are smart,” she says. “They know it’s bad for you.” Regardless of how often study drugs are used, their effects have remained the same since they were first prescribed to hyperactive children in 1937, and the Northwestern students

COLLEGE O

DEBT SIMPLIFIED

Being a student isn’t so easy on your wallet. B Y M E G A N T H I ELKING

18 | F A L L 2 0 1 2

n PBS affiliate WTTW’s “Chicago Tonight” this summer, our ever-knowledgeable, economically-inclined President Morton Schapiro spoke on a topic that is important to all of us as we stare at our tuition bills on CAESAR. “My biggest worry is that people are going to be scared out of capital markets and not make an investment that would be the best financial investment of their lives: to take out debt and go to college,” Schapiro said. Now that we’ve made the choice to invest in a college education, should we worry about the outcome of our investments? Take a look at how the numbers break down for Northwestern students. o

who do use them say they often reap academic benefits. “I was a little bit skeptical of it before I tried it, but I liked it. I enjoyed it,” says Ryan LeGraw, a McCormick junior majoring in chemical engineering. LeGraw first used Vyvanse during his freshman year. Like most casual study drug users, he uses the slow-release stimulant to shoulder his most academically rigorous weeks. “They help me … get through all of my work,” he says, noting that he experiences very few side effects. “I haven’t noticed any ill effects … I mean, sometimes it’s annoying if you take them too late and it’s hard to get to sleep.” But LeGraw’s experience is uncommon; using study drugs often leads to serious consequences. These consequences range from the obvious to the insidious: from anxiety and sleeplessness to state-dependent learning. “With state-dependent learning, you recall information best under the condition which you learned [it],” Gerstein says. Such conditions include altered mental states induced by drug use; a student under the influence may not be able to remember what he has learned once the drug wears off. The statedependent learning phenomenon is not just limited to study drugs—other drugs, such as marijuana, can also complicate information retention. And like most sources of college

stress, pouring beer on the problem doesn’t help. Gerstein says that because alcohol is a depressant, taking a stimulant like Adderall can trick the body into thinking it is less intoxicated. In fact, she says, mixing substances is always risky because the body’s response is unpredictable. Gerstein adds that most of the greatest health risks surrounding amphetamines stem from irresponsible use, and students who need study drugs understand how best to mitigate their greatest dangers. But even responsible users experience negative side effects. “As I come off them I’m so tired, so sluggish, I can barely interact with people,” says Weinberg junior Jane Downer. Downer has been taking Vyvanse since her junior year of high school. “I tried going off a couple times this summer, and I couldn’t.” Downer returned to taking Vyvanse daily after suffering mental fatigue and insomnia, two common side effects of amphetamine withdrawal. She says she is careful not to skip days. Though study drugs can cause harm to their users, they’re here to stay. In fact, according to Gerstein, the danger may be part of their appeal. “This is a very exciting time in people’s lives, where taking some risks and exploring is normal,” she says. “The risks don’t have the same impact as when you’re old like me.” o

Increase in Tuition for 2012-2013 School Year

Cost of a “Perpetual Scholarship” These were sold from 1853 Households in the U.S. to 1867, and entitled the with College Debt (2010) purchaser and his or her heirs to free tuition. The University still honors this pledge for $26,682 heirs of original purchasers. Average Outstanding College Debt (2010) $43,380 Tuition (2012-2013) $57,108

Tuition and Fees (2012-2013) Sources: Bureau of Labor Statistics; Northwestern University

photos: daniel schuleman; illustrations: geneve ong

f you’d like a mind that can decimate an equation, leap gracefully to a thesis and inhale knowledge by the textbook, never fear—there’s a pill for that. Ordinarily prescribed to children and adults with ADHD, such amphetamine-based medications are so effective for students that they’re called “study drugs”—and everyone’s taking them. At least, that’s what most of us think. In fact, according to a survey conducted by Northwestern’s Health Promotion and Wellness office, 73.6 percent of surveyed students say the average Northwestern student uses non-prescribed stimulants at least once a year. But this belief is misplaced. Another survey by the National College Health Assessment and distributed by the Health Promotion and Wellness office found that five to eight percent of Northwestern students abuse stimulant drugs in a given year. And most of them don’t do it very often.

The Wealth Of Witte This econ professor embodies purple pride. BY DAWNTHEA PRICE

photo: sunny kang

n his Intro to Macroeconomics lecture of more than 250 students, Professor Mark Witte has to be engaging, informative and loud. In his Andersen Hall office, however, another side emerges. No less engaging or filled to the brim with facts about economics or Northwestern, Witte is much softer-spoken. Everything about his office exudes a well-worn sort of comfort: Between the piles of papers on his desk and old comics posted to the door, Witte leans back in one of the chairs he leaves out for various walk-in guests, arms behind his head. Having worked at Northwestern for more than 23 years, Witte is comfortable with his place in Northwestern’s culture, including that of his students’ inboxes. “I spam the crap out of them,” he says about his seemingly excessive number of department emails to students. “It’s mostly recruiting stuff, so if people are on the [Business Institutions Program] listserv, they get me twice.” Witte reached a new peak of in fame during the original flood of Northwestern memes during Winter Quarter 2012, when students produced several images parodying his emails. “I saw that and was pretty amused,” he says. “My wife was trying to say ‘What’s a meme?’ and I was like, ‘I don’t know.’” Witte says, half seriously, that he has another round of emails to send after our conversation. After graduating from Washington University in St. Louis in 1984, Witte spent some time working for then-House Majority Leader Richard Gephardt (Comm ‘62) in Washington, D.C. Like several other members of the faculty, his employment at Northwestern stemmed from continuing his education at the University, where he earned a Master’s in economics in 1987 and a doctorate in 1997. “I wanted to get more of an economics background, so I applied to various places, and Northwestern is a very good school that gave me a lot of money, so I came,” Witte says. “I liked

“It means that, for the younger ones, we’ve got the right clothes by season,” he jokes. But their hectic lives as academics (his wife also works in Chicago as an academic pediatrician at University of Illinois, Chicago) does not mean their relationship lacks romance. “We’ve been married for nine years, which is a very boring anniversary,” Witte jokes. “I can’t forget it because it’s during finals—I mean New Student—I mean, Senior Week. So it’s a catastrophe every year.” The conversation continues but only scratches the surface of Witte’s work as Director of Undergraduate

“I LIKE THE SCALE OF THE SCHOOL A LOT, AND THERE’S A LOT OF NEW THINGS, BUT IT’S NOT SO MUCH THAT PEOPLE GET OVERWHELMED SO YOU CAN HAVE A LOT OF VERY PERSONAL INTERACTION, TALK ABOUT IDEAS AND BE CHALLENGED BY PEOPLE.”

it here and they seemed to be OK with having me around. I started teaching here in ’89, maybe. I taught as a grad student, then worked for the Chicago Federal Reserve for a while. It was great [and] very interesting. It had great data sources … and I had a great office chair.” In the years following his employment at the Chicago Federal Reserve, Witte taught scores of students macroeconomics, public finance and environmental and natural resource economics. And although there have

been rumors to the contrary, this was not the romantic setup for meeting his wife of nine years. “We were in the running club together so that’s how we got to know each other well,” Witte says. “Then she moved to St. Louis—and I’m from St. Louis—so I was always going down there and I’d see her there. And things went well.” Well enough that they now have three daughters—“I don’t think my wife would want their names on the Internet”—all with birthdays in August.

Studies for Economics and the Harvey Kapnick Business Institutions Program. He does mention that all his titles and duties, including fatherhood, leave him with negative free time, but he says it with a smile, still leaning back in his chair. It is clear to see that students who take the time to know him truly enjoy his presence and advice, and why not? With more than 20 years on campus, the man is older than the Arch and as timeless as the Rock, with more understanding of campus goings-on and gossip than anyone with a mere four years or fewer under his or her belt. And with that time comes a viewpoint he’s more than willing to share. “I like the scale of the school a lot, and there’s a lot of new things, but it’s not so much that people get overwhelmed, so you can have a lot of very personal interaction, talk about ideas and be challenged by people,” Witte says. “I’d say it’s a very special place.” o NORTHBYNORTHWESTERN.COM | 19

WHERE WE WORSHIP Explore your spirituality in these ethereal spaces.

Students can find enlightenment under many different roofs. Here, they can escape the flat-ceilinged library for sculpted domes and spires.

Alice Millar Chapel By Brennan Anderson

The Bahaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;i Temple By Daniel Schuleman

Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary By Daniel Schuleman

PROFILE

A Language Like Any Other The American Sign Language Club vouches for a voice. B Y M E G A N S U CKUT

"I FIGURED IF MY HIGH SCHOOL HAD ASL, NORTHWESTERN WOULD HAVE HAD CLASSES, BUT I GOT HERE AND IT DIDN'T. I THOUGHT THAT WAS UPSETTING." “It was a big fight just to get them to have the seminar,” says Weinberg senior Emily Kaht, another co-president of the club. “So obviously getting them to recognize it as a foreign language is even going to be more challenging.” Mary Finn, associate dean for undergraduate academic affairs, worked with the club’s founders in their efforts to bring ASL instruction to Northwestern. “The students who talked to me were very passionate,” Finn says. “They made a presentation to the Council on Language Instruction, which is a group of representatives from all the language faculty, and did a very good job according to them. That was what got this going.” While Finn says that the twoquarter pilot course had sufficient enrollment to merit a small seminar, the course hasn’t gained high enough demand since then. As a result, Finn says, Northwestern cannot offer two years of ASL instruction. Plus, creating an ASL sequence could be expensive. The same students who advocated for ASL classes recommended Jennifer Hart to the dean’s office as a candidate for an instructor. Hart—who was born deaf and originally commu-

nicated using Signed Exact English, a visual representation of English and not an established language—was first exposed to ASL at Northern Illinois University. Most students who took her Northwestern classes came in with nearly no knowledge of ASL and had to pick it up quickly as Hart taught solely using sign language. This helped her demonstrate ASL’s status as the first language of the deaf in the United States. “There is often an inaccurate assumption that because ASL is not written or auditory, it is not a language,” she writes in an email. “ASL is a completely different and unique language in its own right. I am thrilled with the addition of ASL classes to the list of foreign languages courses offered by Northwestern. It is wonderful to see a growing enthusiasm and interest in learning ASL.” Although Northwestern doesn’t offer ASL as an option to fulfill Weinberg’s foreign language requirement, Kaht says she hopes alternatives like the seminar, Norris Mini Courses and the ASL Club will help facilitate students’ understanding of the deaf experience. “Some people think it’s just all spelling with your fingers or that it’s a direct translation from English to sign language, but it isn’t,” Kaht says. “It’s not getting the recognition it deserves, and I feel that there are a lot of misconceptions about it, so people would enjoy it more if they knew more about it and had as many opportunities to learn about it inside the classroom as they do outside.” o

photos: sunny kang

hen he was 10, Benro Ogunyipe, president of National Black Deaf Advocates, found himself unable to communicate in the same way and to the same people once accessible to him. Now 34, Ogunyipe uses American Sign Language as his primary means of communication. Although he estimates that ASL is the third most widely used language in the United States, he says he has found that “signers” are often few and far between. “I’m a deaf person,” Ogunyipe says. “I go places and order food and have to stand in line for things and tell people that I’m deaf, and they try to figure it out. That hassle makes me wish more people learned sign language.” So Ogunyipe decided to teach it. He led a Norris Mini Course last year, watching his students progress from knowing nothing about ASL to being able to hold short conversa-

tions using hand gestures by the end of the quarter. Opportunities like Ogunyipe’s Mini Course are not prevalent at Northwestern, but the American Sign Language Club, comprised of students with an interest in sign language and deaf culture, is working to change that. Each week, students in the club learn to sign words and phrases pertaining to the given week’s theme. Some weeks focus on practical topics, like the weather, while some feature seasonal events, including Halloween and Northwestern’s Annual Sex Week. The opportunity to learn how to sign words like “pumpkin,” however, isn’t the main reason why current Co-President Robert Gomez, a Weinberg junior, first joined the ASL Club. “I took Spanish throughout high school, and I didn’t find out until senior year that ASL was actually offered at my high school,” Gomez says. “I figured if my high school had ASL, Northwestern would have had classes, but I got here and it didn’t. I thought that was upsetting.” Gomez attended the ASG Fall Activities Fair his freshman year and found out the club members were both fighting for sign language classes and teaching the language themselves. Since then, the club has brought an undergraduate linguistics seminar on ASL to Northwestern, but members of the ASL Club want sign language to eventually become a two-year sequence that fulfills Weinberg’s foreign language requirement.

LANGUAGE IN MOTION ASL Club president and Weinberg Senior Emily Kaht uses gestures and expressions to master ASL. 22 | F A L L 2 0 1 2

The Savory Sounds Of Caeto Moon Hip-hop artist Jalen Motes relishes his rhymes. BY ERIC BRO W N

J photo: daniel schuleman; illustration: hilary fung

alen Motes is probably a lot like you. The Communication junior grew up in moderatelysized Columbia, S.C., watched “SpongeBob Squarepants” and “Rugrats” as a kid and started a band in high school that ultimately broke up. But Motes, who raps as “Caeto Moon,” is more than the average hiphop-savvy college student. Thanks to his synesthesia, a neurological condition that mixes cognitive stimuli, Motes can literally taste the rhymes and beats he constructs. With his second album, “Caeto Moon’s Grade A Day,” set for release on Nov. 18, Motes talks synesthesia, his stage name and songwriting.

What’s your synesthesia like?

Primarily my synesthesia is in letters and numbers and words. So every letter—all 26 of them—tends to have associated colors with them. I didn’t know that was weird for a very long time. I also have synesthesia with sound, where music sounds like colors. It used to be a lot stronger when I was younger. It’s sad to say, but it is true, that as I get older, it kind of decreases. I actually remember a very scary

period in my life where all music sounded black and white. It was all grayscale and I was really freaked out for two months. I don’t know if it’s terribly interesting, but I feel like other people who don’t have synesthesia tend to think that it’s some amazing thing. Where for me, especially now that I’ve lost some of the immediacy and some of the tangibility of it that I had in youth, it’s more implied. Like Lupe [Fiasco]’s song “Bitch Bad.” If I’m not thinking about what it looks like then I don’t really notice. But when I listen really closely I’m like, “Oh shit, yeah.” Those green little sparkles blasting up into whatever—if I start talking about it, it makes me sound like I’m crazy. I remember the first time I said something about it, it was eighth grade. I was talking about a song and I was like, “You know, I don’t really like that song, it just leaves an orange sherbet taste in my mouth.” And they were like, “What are you talking about, man?” Nobody in the room had experienced what I was talking about. It blew my mind that not everybody saw colors when they read things or saw colors when they heard things or tasted sounds or could smell feelings—things that are so obvious in

my mind and that other people couldn’t experience. It was one of those points in time where you realized that not everyone in the world is the same as you.

How did “Caeto Moon” become your stage name?

I had a band in high school. It was actually in my junior year. Out of that came a second band, and we thought to ourselves, we needed to have cool names. We were going to try to make it this electro-funk-pop band. I just remember not knowing at all what I wanted my name to be, and randomly one night I was doing my calculus homework and thinking, “This is really boring.” I stopped and looked out the window, and very boringly, the name “Caeto Moon” just appeared in my head, spelled out perfectly. It doesn’t have any special significance—I think that it creates its own significance as time goes on. It creates its own purpose as time goes on, which is cool.

Why did you write your Pokémon-inspired song, “Dig It”?

That song has always been a funny thing to me, because people always

tell me how much they like it. But the process of writing it for me was very blasé, almost. It was very late at night one night, sometime during senior year, I was just sitting around messing around on my keyboard, and I just thought it sounded all right. It sounded cool enough to commit to saving it in a project on my computer. Then the next day, I came in and did a little extra work. I decided I was going to freestyle on it. The first thought that came into my head was “dig it like a Diglett.” ‘Cause like I said, I grew up watching way too many cartoons. So Pokémon was very high up on the list of things that I watched a lot. I just started rapping about Pokémon and then it devolved into me talking about social ills at some point, and then it devolved again into just silliness and then it didn’t matter anymore. I was very shocked that people liked the song so much. It kind of annoyed me at first how many people liked the song, because I always felt like I put so much work into other songs, but people always just seem to love “Dig It” so much. Lately I’ve come to terms with the fact that sometimes you just make songs that people really like or identify with. o NORTHBYNORTHWESTERN.COM | 23

hroughout his career, Professor J. Michael Bailey has grappled with others’ refusal to accept his ideas, yet he has always been prepared with supporting facts and research. But in February 2011, after a lapse in judgment involving a live sex act onstage during an after-class lesson, he had nothing to back him up but morality, apology and tenure. Bailey has been a professor and researcher in Northwestern’s Department of Psychology since 1989. Though his name has become synonymous with controversy, he says he hasn’t cared much about what people who don’t know him associate with him or think about him. “I think I’ve done a lot of research, some of it good, about sexual orientation, and I think that if you look at a human sexuality textbook you’ll see my name in most of them,” Bailey says. “There’s lots that we still don’t know and hopefully I can shed some light.” Bailey started off studying mathematics when he entered Washington University in St. Louis as an undergraduate, but he dropped the study of numbers in favor of psychology after taking a class called History of Freudian Thought. Today, he is one of the foremost experts on human sexuality. After earning his doctorate from the University of Texas, he became interested in gender nonconformity when he met someone who introduced him to the transsexual community. This meeting inspired further research into transsexuality and led to his book, The Man Who Would Be Queen. The book details a theory that some male-tofemale transsexuals are not actually women but men, motivated by an erotic condition or a fetish. The book became Bailey’s first challenging interaction with the public when he received backlash from a small but vocal group of male-tofemale transsexuals. Some verbally attacked the book, charged at Northwestern’s Institutional Review Board claiming he was performing systematic, unlicensed research, while a piece in the New York Times defended and vindicated Bailey. “What happened was a smear campaign,” he says. But Bailey remained passionate about his study of transsexuality, noting the value of meeting people and hearing their stories. This face-to-face method trans-

24 | F A L L 2 0 1 2

An Alternative Field

Professor J. Michael Bailey reflects on the controversies that have tested his career. BY LYDIA BELANGER

lated to his Human Sexuality class at Northwestern, which he taught from 1994 until 2011. He invited panels of guests to give optional, post-lecture talks to his students. Guests ranged from transsexuals to experts on childhood sexual abuse, from a heterosexual swinger couple to a dominatrix. Bailey says his goal was not to promote any of the sexual practices, but also not to discourage them, “with the exception of becoming a sex offender.” “It would not have been appropriate to do it during class because they weren’t really about conveying serious content,” Bailey says, adding that he always had enough of his own material to fill his three-hour classes every week. “My class is scientific, and these people were really not talking about the science. They were themselves.” On Feb. 21, 2011, Bailey invited Ken Melvoin-Berg, owner of Weird Chicago Tours, to give a presentation on alternative sexuality. On his way to the stage, Melvoin-Berg approached him, Bailey says, asking permission to host a live female ejaculation demonstration performed by the exhibitionist couple that accompanied him—with help from a motorized sex toy.

Bailey says he had some misgivings, but he agreed in the heat of the moment. He says he warned the class multiple times about what they could expect to see if they stayed, and he told them they had the choice to leave. “As someone who teaches human sexuality, I am a lot more comfortable with sexual-related phenomena,” says Bailey, who describes himself as someone with unconventional opinions. “That was another factor that made me underestimate what a big deal this could be.” In the weeks following the demonstration, Bailey made national headlines. Although he defended himself in a series of public statements, he says he now thinks he should have just apologized, rather than fighting a battle with those who disagreed with his judgment. At the peak of the controversy, more than a dozen students emailed Bailey in support, including SESP senior Alex Straley, a former Human Sexuality student. “It wasn’t until I saw a news van on campus that I really heard any talks of it being wrong,” Straley says. “People who were there were fine with it, but then someone who wasn’t there finds out about it and tries to make a

big deal about it even though it didn’t affect them at all.” But what is appropriate for an academic setting remains open to interpretation, and the controversy’s most lasting effect (besides introducing the word “fucksaw” into the Northwestern lexicon) is the administration’s cessation of the Human Sexuality class. Although a new gender studies course taught by Weinberg Dean of Freshmen Lane Fenrich delves into sexual subjects and sexuality studies, Bailey says it cannot replace Human Sexuality, because Fenrich does not take a scientific approach. Still, Bailey says, the idea that having one course on human sexuality is all the University needs is mistaken. Psychology and Education Professor David Uttal says that even though he thinks it was a very important part of the curriculum, other professors “wouldn’t touch it,” given Bailey’s renowned reputation in the field. “I think the dean would allow us to teach it,” Uttal says, “but once you have Mike Bailey, this is a hard act to follow.” Christopher Horvath, an associate professor in the Department of Philosophy and the School of Biological Sciences at Illinois State University in Normal, Ill., was the original member of the “Gay Guys” panel that was one of the after-class sessions every year since 1995. The two still interact as colleagues. “Stars generally are controversial figures, and Mike certainly is that,” Horvath says. “But as long as I’ve known him he’s been nothing but a professional, a leader in the field, and behaved in ways that were ethical and above board.” The controversy has died down, Bailey says, and the administration stays out of his way, not impeding his research or influencing his teaching, however he says the “repercussions of what happened will linger for a long time, perhaps until I retire.” Although he is remorseful that he didn’t consider how his choice may have offended not only students, but also alumni, administrators and others, and that it could cause him to lose his class, he says he stands by his belief that his students who agreed to see the demonstration were adults, and that they were unharmed. “The facts of what happened are available to anybody who cares,” Bailey says, “and I have expressed regret, and that’s true.” o

photo courtesy: j. michael bailey

PROFILE

Taking The Stage

L photo: sunny kang

ove it or hate it, there’s no denying K-pop’s got a hold on our psyche. Korean rapper Psy’s “Gangnam Style” has become a cultural phenomenon—the video’s more than 402 million views on YouTube show that the success of K-pop around the world is no joke. In fact, several students are so serious about their adoration for Kpop that they devote their free time to learning, practicing and performing their own version of the trend. Meet Afterparty, Northwestern’s only K-pop dance cover group. The members of the group are bringing together American and Korean cultures and diversifying the University’s performing arts community. And K-pop is the perfect platform.

Afterparty made K-pop cool before “Gangnam Style.” BY KATIE NODJIMBADEM Unlike American popular music, which celebrates an individual artist’s creativity, Korean pop music is a factory-like industry in which the companies generate everything: They choose singers, choreograph dances and write music. “There has been a huge K-pop boom in the past couple of years, so I also saw it as an opportunity to bridge gaps not only between KoreanAmericans and international Koreans but also between Koreans and nonKoreans,” says Afterparty founder and Weinberg senior Linda Hong. Afterparty joined the Northwestern dance community in 2010 when a group of students decided to transform their annual performance at the Ko-

rean American Student Association show into a year-round experience. These performances are more about the dancing than the music itself, although many people enjoy the love ballad lyric style. “When [groups] do a music video, a lot of them will try to do half dancing, half ‘story-singing,’” says Afterparty member Jasmine Hubbard, a Weinberg senior. “Some of them will have two music video releases—they do that on purpose so people can learn the dance.” Afterparty is making a splash in the world of K-pop covers. In August, the boys of the group placed fourth at the Chicago Korean Cultural Festival, and Afterparty member Jun Sung

Ahn, a Communication sophomore, won Psy’s “Gangnam Style” video cover contest. Though most Afterparty members are Korean, they encourage people of all ethnicities and cultures to audition. “Especially with ‘Gangnam Style’ becoming so popular outside the Korean circle, I feel like Afterparty can provide an opportunity for nonKoreans to learn Korean culture,” Hong says. Though successful so far, Afterparty is more than just an ambitious dance group. “I hope Afterparty can participate in newer, not necessarily Asian events so we could spread K-pop campuswide,” Hong says. “But most of all, I’d like Afterparty to have fun dancing.” o

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Street Smart, Book Smart Professor John Márquez revamps racial discourse by bridging his perilous past and his academic present. BY JORDYN WOLKING

e reached into his backpack to grab a history book and remembered he had stowed his pistol there as well. That moment, for Professor John Márquez, changed his life. “Everybody had a weapon all the time. That’s an element of how we survived,” he says. “I realized that I was probably the only person in that classroom that was living that kind of life, and I was embarrassed by the moment … It shook me.” Márquez, who grew up in an impoverished, working-class family in subsidized housing in Houston, was taking community college courses as part of his involvement in a gang violence prevention program. He had borrowed the gun after receiving threats from men in a rival neighborhood. Fourteen years later, Northwestern hired Márquez to help build its Latina and Latino Studies program with other experts. Since beginning the program in 2006, he has taught Intro to Latino Studies, The Social Meaning of Race and other related courses, including the Capstone Seminar for students in the program. Sonia Hart (SESP ’07) was part of the student organizing committee that pushed for a Latina and Latino Studies program. She says Márquez was the type of faculty member they

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were looking for, active and eager to improve relations with other student groups and help develop the new program and curriculum. “We wanted someone that was going to be involved in the development of a very robust type of student-of-color scholarly community,” she says. “It was one of the few classes that I felt really challenged me to think critically about an issue and not just kind of be a receptacle for other people’s ideas and accept them automatically when it comes to race and ethnicity, from both the historical and psychological perspectives. More than teaching us a subject matter, he was teaching us active scholarship.” Many students enter Márquez’s classes with the idea that race no longer has social meaning, he says. He often struggles to balance intellectual arguments about race in a social context with providing “the language and the kind of support and the inspiration that students of color might be looking for.” But he says he finds these conversations rewarding. Márquez has been on sabbatical for the past year, and he will resume teaching in the winter. During this time, he finished a book and started a new one, as well as bonded with his two sons and played soccer.

He also works on community initiatives, including the NU Campus Violence Prevention Committee, which collaborates with such programs as Chicago’s Operation CeaseFire, as well as other violence prevention and immigrant justice campaigns in his neighborhood. CeaseFire is similar to the gang violence prevention program Márquez worked on as a teen, so he hopes his experience can be a useful contribution to the organization. Recruited by social workers into the short-lived Gang Activity Prevention program at 18 years old in 1992, he was “identified as a person who had street cred in [his] neighborhood but that also had a mind that was attuned towards politics.” He was trained to work as a violence interrupter, talking to his peers and organizing afterschool activities for at-risk youth. Márquez pinpoints the moment he found the pistol in his backpack as one of a series that highlighted the sense of hypocrisy he felt. “A part of me is fronting, acting like I’m part of the solution,” he says about the experience. “The other part of me does not trust the solution to the extent that I feel like I got to protect myself.” That realization, along with the death and incarceration of several friends and an incident involving a fellow GAP member murdering another young man, led Márquez to leave GAP and seek other answers. He says CeaseFire faces similar issues now, as volunteers occasionally struggle to distance themselves from crime and gang activity. Such programs focus on a lack of jobs, mental health facilities and educational op-

portunities, but they are often reluctant to address broader histories of colonialism, racial segregation and violence. He says that no solution will be sustainable without addressing these broader issues. “I saw the limitations firsthand of how much those programs could actually work, and the issues that weren’t being addressed within those initiatives,” Márquez says of his work with GAP and CeaseFire. After that, Black nationalism introduced him to the historical background of intraracial violence the world over, in most colonized areas. But that still couldn’t answer all of his questions. “I began to realize that it was insufficient,” he says. “To really be able to address these issues in the most productive way is to appeal to our solidarity between [sic] all of us as human beings.” Márquez says he hopes to continue addressing issues of race and ethnicity at the university and community levels. He says that diversity—be it related to race, class or sexuality—is a constant issue at Northwestern, and he encourages his students to think about qualitative diversity or the social climate, rather than the statistics. “[Northwestern has] the people who are experts on this issue, we have students who are interested and eager to learn about such things, so we should be better than society at large in terms of our thinking and conversations we have about this,” Márquez says. “That should be reflected in the way that the student body and the faculty looks, appears, speaks, is perceived, is judged, is supported.” o

illustration: alexis n. sanchez

PROFILE

THE QUARTER IN CULTURE

SCOOP “Shopping In My Mom’s Closet” Marina Braga talks style sense. BY K K R E B E C C A L AI

aised in the Upper West Side of New York City and influenced by her Brazilian heritage, Medill sophomore Marina Braga brings an eccentric style to Northwestern. Braga shares her fashion inspirations and her obsession with shiny eclectic accessories. WHEN DID YOU FIND STYLE IMPORTANT? Since I was little, I always liked to dress myself. I would come back after school and put on different outfits, and just have a little fashion show. WHO INSPIRES YOU? My mom. She always looks classy and she has an eye for pieces that are timeless and won’t go out of style. She didn’t grow up with a lot of money, but she would put things together in ways so that she would always have different outfits.

PLUS:

Photograph by DANIEL SCHULEMAN

STYLE WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT FASHION? I love feeling like I can be a chameleon. When you put on certain types of clothing, you’ll suddenly transform into a different person. It’s like changing your personality just by changing your clothes. WHERE DO YOU LIKE TO SHOP? My mom’s closet. Because she’s older now, she dresses more conservatively, but she has always had great style. She’s got beautiful stuff.

TAILORED TO WILL WILHELM

RACHEL BIRNBAUM

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ITEM? I’m obsessed with jewelry. If you just want to wear jeans and a T-shirt, you put on a couple of necklaces, bracelets and rings, all of a sudden you’re gonna look like you’re more dressed up.

Four resourceful student costume designers bring characters to life. BY TEGAN REYES WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT NORTHWESTERN FASHION? I like that people are very proud of purple here. They rock the NU look. It’s the best way to see people’s personalities. It’s like we are wearing a uniform but not exactly so. ANY FASHION ADVICE? Don’t be afraid to experiment if you see something [you like], and don’t hesitate. “Oh I think it’s weird,” “I don’t think I can pull that off.” Don’t say these things. If you like something and you put it on, you will pull it off. The most important part about fashion is feeling good. You don’t really dress for other people. You dress for yourself. o

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reating costumes for a student production at Northwestern is like having a day to make a dress out of candy on “Project Runway.” Working on a tight budget, these four students use their sewing and thrifting skills to make silk purses out of sows’ ears for various shows on campus.

Will Wilhelm

Communication junior Last Designed: “Legally Blonde” Does your personal style influence your costume choices? I think that it does. I had a costume professor that said on the first day that, if you are costume designing a show, in one way or another you

yucky and gross. I bought all of these clothes and stained them, bleached them, ripped them and burned them. I think something that fashion is lacking is humor, and “Urinetown” is a funny show, so I really appreciated the opportunity to put some humor in the costuming.

Rachel Birnbaum

Communication senior Currently designing: “The Tempest” should want to sleep with each of the characters that you design. So there has to be something about that design that gets you going, arouses you—not necessarily in a sexual way. In which show did you have the most fun costuming? “Urinetown” was a lot of fun because the costumes were grungy, dirty and

How did you get into design? I was always a big doll person. I liked setting up dolls and Playmobil and making coats for them. One of my best friends took sewing lessons, so I started taking sewing lessons from this awesome older woman, and we started off making a lot of clothes for dolls. It was a really great way to learn the skills but on a small scale, and I started

photo: daniel schuleman (marina); brennan anderson (will); kerri pang (rachel)

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TREND? Cartoon shirts. Everyone should have at least one funny shirt.

O THE STAGE MELANIE VITATERNA

MADDY LOW

and there are also just restrictions on where we can go. Sometimes designers spend a lot more time than they originally intend taking a piece that isn’t exactly what they want and adding to them to create something more unique and specialized to the show. It forces us to get creative.

Maddy Low

Communication junior Last Designed: “Avenue Q” How did you get into costume design? If you talk to enough people about what you are passionate about, someone is going to ask you to do that for their show. That is how I got started. I have always loved sewing, watching “Project Runway” and musical theatre, so it was kind of inevitable that I started trying my hand at designing costumes.

making my own dolls and working on embroidery.

photo: kerri pang (melanie, maddy)

What is the design process like? I read the script, and I write down any big initial thoughts or questions I have for the director. There is usually a research presentation with all the other designers and production team, and we talk about it and see if we are all going in the right direction. After that I move on to some sketching or collages. I make a piece list of every item every character is wearing and if I think I am going to buy it or rent it. Once those pieces have been gathered, I do fittings with the actors and then have a final costume parade. What are some challenges you have run into while costuming? There are fewer theatre students interested in the tech side than performing.

There are 60-plus shows that happen a year in student theatre, and they all ask the same couple of people to design them, so project management and time management has become a big issue. The costume world is murkier to people. People aren’t expected to come help you sew costumes or help you carry two huge duffel bags of shoes back to your apartment. When you’re costuming a cast of 25 people, it gets to be a lot to carry around.

“Five Women Wearing The Same Dress.” It was not very difficult because the goal was to get five women all wearing the same dress, but it was hard to find five identical dresses in the necessary sizes.

Communication sophomore Last Designed: “Monica, 1998”

Are there many opportunities to be involved in costume design? Absolutely. I’m not a theatre major. I’m a performance studies major, and I have had a lot of involvement in a lot of design. I think the best way to get involved in something is to ask someone involved in the theatre community. Having that genuine interest is that perfect starting point.

How long have you been designing? My first experience was last fall. A bunch of people at Northwestern put on an independent project called

What are some challenges of student costume design? A challenge is finding things that you have in mind. In student theatre we have pretty tight budgets,

Melanie Vitaterna

How has your personal style influenced your designs? My personal style is eclectic and bright. I take a lot of personal style inspiration from street style photography. When I get dressed in the morning, I’m thinking who that person is going to be. As a costume designer, you are not thinking only about contemporary fashion, a 20-year-old college student, I’m thinking I’m going to the beach in the 1950s today, or do I want to look like I am going to walk on the moon—not literally, of course. I just draw inspiration. What was your favorite show you have designed for? My favorite show I designed was “Falsettos,” because I was working with a partner and a really awesome assistant. Just having the opportunity to bounce ideas off of them was really helpful. It was also my first opportunity to be a little more fantastical with design, and I am hoping to get more projects like that. Do you see yourself designing in the future? I would love to pursue costume design. I haven’t taken any classes in it yet, but I am going to this year. I work in the costume shop at Northwestern now, and that’s been really educational. So I would love to continue that line of work. o

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TOWN

Mapping Mark Professor Loren Ghiglione follows the course an American hero’s lifelong odyssey. BY ALEX NITKIN

ast September, while the Wildcat world welcomed the Class of 2015, Medill professor Loren Ghiglione packed a rented black Dodge Grand Caravan full of cameras, computers and enough clothes to last him through the new year. His mission? Retrace Mark Twain’s travels as a young man through the 1850s and 1860s, town by town by town, to explore the country the 19th century author came to embody. Three months, 125 interviews and 14,063 miles later, he and his two student sidekicks had collected hundreds of unique American stories. “Mark Twain is a special figure not only in American literature, but in the American imagination … He grew up a racist and a nativist, but as he grew older and traveled around the country, he reformed his views,” Ghiglione says. “So we wanted to follow not only his path, but his transformation as a person, focusing on hot-button identity issues in America.” After personally obtaining $30,000 in grants and donations to fund the cross-country endeavor, Ghiglione selected two Medill students to come along for the journey: 2011 graduate Alyssa Karas, who managed a blog and helped conduct interviews, and senior Dan Tham, who filmed and photographed the experience. The trio began at Twain’s birthplace in central Missouri, then journeyed east to St. Louis and through Philadelphia, where Twain worked as a printer. After stopping to interview Occupy Wall Street protesters at Zucotti Park in New York City, they drove along the Mississippi River to New Orleans, tracing the area where Twain worked as a steamboat pilot in the 1850s. The trip then took them to the West, following Twain’s short career as a gold prospector in Nevada and his long career as a journalist in San Francisco. The stories they gathered along the way, some planned and some by

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fortuitous accident, were as varied as their stops across the country. “The diversity of experiences we had is just so hard to describe … but the whole trip opened my eyes to this world I hadn’t seen or even given any thought to,” Karas says. “It was like collecting a bunch of puzzle pieces— we met so many people doing so many things on a small scale just to make a difference.” The issue of identity surfaced in every encounter, whether it was with an immigrant in a big city or a local politician in a rural town. This led the group to the Louisiana State Penitentiary, an institution that records all of its 5,000 inmates as “black” or “white,” where Ghiglione, Karas and Tham interviewed those who didn’t fit the racial binary. “A lot of them talked about feeling alienated in prison … in a big way it’s like they were total outliers in this community,” says Tham, who used his knowledge of Vietnamese to interview a Vietnamese-American nicknamed “Hop Sing” serving a life sentence. “If I live in a white community I can move, but these guys have no choice— they’re forced to make friends with guys they may not like. It doesn’t get more surreal or intense than that.” Other stops included a mostly Hispanic town in the white-dominated state of Nebraska, a former slave plantation in Tennessee and a selfgoverned homeless encampment near downtown St. Louis. But despite troubling, sometimes disturbing experiences, Ghiglione and his students say they were inspired by the people they encountered. “There are some absolutely terrible things still going on in this country in the way of discrimination and hatred, but [the trip] really showed me that America is a place where anything can happen,” Karas says. “It’s this wild and beautiful place where, when people work together closely in their communities, they can accomplish anything.” o

Unionville, Nev. Twain attempts a career as gold prospector

7 8 San Francisco, Calif. Twain works as a journalist

New York, N.Y. Ghiglione’s team interviews Occupy Wall Street protesters in Zucotti Park

3 St. Louis, Mo. Ghiglione’s team visits a self-governed homeless encampment

Florida, Mo. Twain’s birthplace, Nov. 30, 1835

4 Philadelphia, Pa. Twain works as a printer

5 2

Cincinnati, Ohio Twain begins a career as a riverboat pilot

6 photo: kerri pang; illustration: alexis n. sanchez

New Orleans, La. Twain travels the Mississippi as a riverboat pilot

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TOWN

The H’El’pful Guide Get on track to find Chicago’s treasures. BY MELINA YEH

ome of you probably came to Northwestern thinking you’d party in Chicago every weekend. And then studying happened. You’re lucky if you make it to the Windy City twice a month. Where should you go in so little time? Which line should you take on the El? The answer: all of them. That may sound like a tall order, but once you know where to go, you’ll find that it’s worth the trip. Of course, you should do some exploring and find your own favorite Chicago hotspots, but here are some highlights of culture and food from each line to help you get started.* *This map is not proportional to the CTA El map.

MAIN

OAKTON

» Far walk without the El » Shops, cafés and restaurants for when Chicago is too far and Evanston is too boring » Check out Cross-Rhodes for Greek food that melts in your mouth » Chicago Rare Book Center for bookworms and hipsters

» A mostly typical suburb, but there are some diverse and delicious restaurants here and there » Try Kabul House for authentic Afghan-style cooking and order the popular Mantoo dumplings » Magazine Museum, a store with a unique collection of old and new magazines, posters and flags

DAMEN

ARGYLE

» Houses a significant Southeastern Asian community » Cheap, delightful Banh Mi sandwiches at Nha Hang Viet Nam (which is also famous for its huge menu)

WESTERN OAK PARK

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» Explore Wicker Park, an artistic enclave of galleries and shops » For those 21 and over: Hear great live music at the Double Door (both locally and nationally known bands)

» Takes a while to reach, but well worth it for the Ernest Hemingway Museum » Lake Street is also a pleasant, quiet neighborhood

» Eat at WaBa Korean Restaurant and sing some karaoke

Happy (Hidden) Hour Bat 17 is so mainstream. BY GIN A G A R C I A

REGGIE’S ROCK CLUB

here is something magical about a grungy, subversive musical setting, whether it’s a bar or an auditorium, and Chicago is full of them. Here’s the lowdown on the mysterious gems to check out the next time you’re looking for a musical adventure. The Hideout Location: 1354 W. Wabansia Ave. Website: hideoutchicago.com This historic relic isn’t marked by a sign; it’s that exclusive. Located along the North Branch of the Chicago River, Hideout is “a clandestine destination with a guaranteed good time.” The Hideout hosts live music every night, covering nearly all genres from punk rock to post-rock and alt-country. Lonie Walker’s Underground Wonder Bar Location: 710 N. Clark St. Website: undergroundwonderbar.com

HALSTED

photo: kerri pang

18th

» The Orphanage, an out-of-theway music venue for local bands, is ideal for artsy, laid-back culture buffs

» Pilsen, the heart of Chicago’s Mexican-American community » Browse the National Museum of Mexican Art for works by prominent Mexican contemporary artists

Since 1989, the Underground Wonder Bar has hosted live music 365 days a year, featuring jazz, blues, funk, folk and reggae. Lonie Walker, soulful musician and owner, wanted to bring back the lost era of “jazz and cocktails,” so she transformed what was previously a comedy club into a musical spectacle. She now calls it a “cabaret” because it has expanded its musical genres and doesn’t strictly focus on traditional jazz. Reggie’s Rock Club Location: 2105 S. State St. Website: reggieslive.com The concept of Reggie’s started in 1988 when workers at a suburban record store, “Record Breakers,” would clear out the store merchandise to make space for the late-night show. Wishing they had an actual venue, owners developed the idea to build a perfect combination of a record store, concert space and restaurant all under one roof. Just a block away from Chinatown, Reggie’s has two stages: The first, reserved for those over 21, hosts rock, blues and acoustic music is usually performed, and the second is open to all ages and features genres like punk, metal and hip-hop artists.

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DI VINE

story by GABI P. REMZ photography by DANIEL SCHULEMAN

COSMOLOGY

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The room was packed. It didn’t matter that it was 9:30 on a Sunday night. The students were hooked on the words of the slim priest with graying hair and glasses speaking at the front of the room. Suddenly, he pulled out a large power drill and slammed it on the lectern. “What is this really for?” Kartje asked his audience. Father John Kartje (KART-chee) does things a bit differently from the typical priest. That day, Kartje was talking about an incident in which a man and a woman who performed a live sex demonstration during an optional presentation for the Human Sexuality class at Northwestern made national headlines. In addressing the situation at Northwestern’s Sheil Catholic Center, the 47-year-old lifelong Chicagoan, who has a Ph.D. in astrophysics from the University of Chicago, raised many eyebrows and questions—a similar reaction to many decisions throughout Kartje’s life. Kartje came to Northwestern in July 2009 after spending six years at Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C., where he worked in a doctorate program certifying him to teach. He now teaches in several places, including Chicago, and over the summer at Creighton University in Omaha. In that sense, the path to his leadership at Sheil is quite normal. And normalcy apparently epitomizes his role as a leader at Northwestern. Kartje lives amid Evanston residents and off-campus students in an apartment on Sherman and Foster (priests often live in quarters attached to the parish, but Sheil lacks those facilities), and he makes frequent appearances on campus. In fact, Kartje is a huge sports fan and is often spotted at Northwestern athletic events. “I go to everything I can possibly get to,” Kartje says. “A number of athletes come [to Sheil], so it’s a nice way to interact.” Yet, students, administrators and Evanston residents all say Kartje’s unusual approach and background are major reasons why they come to Mass, despite his apparent ordinariness. “Father John has a different style,” says Sheil Director of Operations Teresa Corcoran. “I think Father John is really able to communicate with the students. Most people find his homilies extremely engaging ... there’s usually a challenge in there somewhere.” Nowadays, Sheil’s community is thriving—in large part thanks to Kartje, although a strong foundation had been developed several years before he arrived in Evanston. Sheil just came off a five-year, $1.5 million renovation project and is working with about half of Northwestern’s 2,000 Catholic students every year, Corcoran says. But the leader of Northwestern’s sizeable Catholic community was once just a boy passionate about science and astronomy. Many people believed that reason would diminish his faith, but even as a kid, Kartje had tried to take two important parts of his life—faith and science—and create a more sensible world.

A LOVE OF THE SKIES

In the 1980s, the Columbia space shuttle program was in full swing, making NASA and the outer realms of space increasingly visible. For many high school students, it made astronomy relatable; for Kartje, it made astronomy a career. By most standards, Kartje had a typical childhood, even though he was the youngest of seven siblings. Growing up in Chicago, Kartje and his family went to Mass most weeks, but was not involved in the church much beyond that. For him, churchgoing was just part of his family’s routine. “I would just spend hours laying on my back at night looking at the sky,” Kartje says. “And it was just sheer wonder.” Kartje dedicated most of his energy to the skies, building his own telescope and waiting eagerly for the newest edition of Sky and Telescope magazine to come out. It never took him long to read it through cover to cover. Still, he went to Catholic schools his whole life until he reached the University of Chicago, where he finally pursued his passion for the skies by studying astronomy, mostly of a theoretical nature. Distinguished Senior Lecturer in Physics and Astronomy Michael Smutko, who studied experimental astronomy in Chicago and now teaches

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Modern Cosmology at Northwestern, was Kartje’s classmate at the University of Chicago. “He worked on these really complicated models of what happens when supersonic clouds of gas collide with other clouds of gas,” Smutko says. “[Kartje’s work was] totally beyond my mathematic ability.” Kartje excelled in college, proving to be a promising undergraduate member of the Astronomy department. But as he committed more and more time to the stars, he had less time to think about the heavens. “In college, if anything, I got a lot less involved, at least in terms of going to church every Sunday,” Kartje says. “I didn’t much hang out in the U of C’s version of [Sheil].” Instead, he became a man of science, graduating with a Master’s and a doctorate from the University of Chicago. It wasn’t until years later that Kartje embarked on a journey that changed the trajectory of his science-based life.

CHANGE OF HEART, CHANGE OF FIELDS

While working as an astronomer, Kartje began volunteering in a hospital ministry. He sat and talked with patients week after week, discussing with them their pain and suffering, their relationships with God and their futures. The work was important for the patients, Kartje says, but it also started to become important to him. He says he considered his faith more deeply, and his science background helped him get there. “I don’t look at someone having cancer and think, ‘Oh, why did God give this person cancer?’” Kartje says. “I know that cancer is part of what happens to biological organisms.” Kartje visited the hospitals for three years. Even though he says he understood the science that could cure them, it was the spiritual side of things that grabbed him. The science he had known and loved all his life, though still close to the heart, was not his only calling. “That for me, I think, was the major transformative experience, being with people in those situations of vulnerability and really being able to talk with them about their faith,” Kartje says. “I felt like I needed to seriously explore [the priesthood], or let it go forever.” As he closed out his 20s, he realized his decision was clear. At age 32, with three degrees, including Bachelor’s degrees in physics and math, and a mind his co-workers in the world of theoretical astrophysics considered brilliant, John Kartje would become a priest.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF EDUCATION

When Kartje began the five-year seminary program required to enter priesthood, he was instantly bombarded with questions, because others thought of him as a “novelty.” “The typical question was, ‘Did you decide science was wrong?’” he says. “Some people were looking for affirmation that the Bible was right, that those are evil scientists.” But for Kartje, science was key to understanding faith, so he worked hard to listen to everyone—skeptics, fanatics, anyone with an opinion. Kartje says he was simply convinced that if someone looked at it from the right perspective, they could understand and appreciate how science and faith complement each other. Still, Kartje explains, sometimes it’s just impossible. “At the end of the day, if you’re just, it’s the Bible or the highway, nothing is going to convince you of the contrary,” Kartje says. “And if you’re convinced that any person of faith is just a deluded imbecile, nothing’s going to convince you of the other direction.” Smutko says that although he could not have anticipated Kartje’s decision, the move seemed reasonable. “There are a lot of people who see it as, you’re either with us or against us, you’re a religious person or you’re a scientific person,” Smutko says. “And my experience has been, I’ve seen scientists on the entire range of the spectrum.”

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A FIGURATIVE IDEOLOGY

There are many times when science and faith seem to directly contradict each other. For instance, some Biblical scholars have determined the age of the world to be around 6,000 years old. But geologists have put the age of the world around 4 billion. The Bible says one thing; science finds another. Kartje’s balance of the two depends on the key notion that parts of the Bible must be taken figuratively. He says people’s strictly literal interpretations caused the conflict. To Kartje, science has the facts right. But at the same time, he says he doesn’t need to choose. “The more we learn about the physical universe, the more it prevents us from having naïve thoughts about God that are ultimately not helpful—that God is some sort of puppeteer just moving the world around,” Kartje says, shaking his head. Kartje says if we can understand how the world actually works, we can understand God’s role in it all. It is this idea that leads him to believe that science and faith should coexist. “When an earthquake happens, that’s the result of tectonic plates shifting,” Kartje says. “It’s not evil.”

“AT THE END OF THE DAY, IF YOU’RE JUST, IT’S THE BIBLE OR THE HIGHWAY, NOTHING IS GOING TO CONVINCE YOU OF THE CONTRARY. AND IF YOU’RE CONVINCED THAT ANY PERSON OF FAITH IS JUST A DELUDED IMBECILE, NOTHING’S GOING TO CONVINCE YOU OF THE OTHER DIRECTION.” Father John Kartje Catholic Priest Northwestern University

THE UNIVERSITY SCENE

Kartje’s uneven path toward the priesthood made him an appealing employee to the Archdiocese of Chicago. Because of his university background, the Archdiocese sent him to Catholic University of America, where he enrolled in the doctorate program that would allow him to teach. Finally, after 11 years of learning in a Catholic setting, Kartje was ready for his first post, and the Archdiocese of Chicago assigned him to Evanston, Ill., where he now leads a community split nearly 50-50 between students and area residents. But just like in the seminary, a die-hard sports fan with a doctorate and master’s degree seemed slightly out of place at first. “At first I was like, that’s a bit strange for a priest,” says Corcoran, who has worked at Sheil for 23 years. But she says Kartje eliminated any fears with his ability to tailor his sermons for his contrasting audiences, connecting particularly well with his younger attendees. “I think he is able to communicate with the students on a different level than with what we’ve had,” Corcoran says. Each Sunday, he celebrates at least two of four different Masses, three of which—at 9:30 a.m., 11 a.m. and 5 p.m.—are typically filled with Evanston residents and families. Those Masses, Kartje says, make you “feel like you’re at a typical parish.” But when it’s time for the last Mass of the day, Sheil becomes a dramatically different scene. Kartje estimates that 95 percent of attendees are students at the 9 p.m. Mass, which he uses to connect with the undergraduate demographic in ways typical parish priests do not. “I guarantee you if I had brought out the drill at the morning Mass, people would have complained,” Kartje says. The 9 p.m. Mass therefore bears his signature the most. It’s the one during which he showed the drill. It’s the same one, when teaching about the power of communicating in relationships, Kartje told students to turn on their cell phone ringers. The stories go on—using Northwestern’s Sex Week as a sermon topic, chatting about his love of the White Sox—and Kartje, who never scripts his sermons, saves his most nontraditional ideas for the last Mass of the day. Anthony DiMauro, president of the student group Catholic Undergrads and a Bienen senior, recalls the Masses following the sex demonstration incident as the epitome of Kartje’s genius. DiMauro went to the 5 p.m. Mass that Sunday, and witnesses Kartje’s differing approaches. “Mass was brilliant for me that day,” says DiMauro about the earlier Mass. “He talked about there being an elephant in the room, or in this case, a 500-pound gorilla. The big thing I remember getting out of that sermon was how, even through consent, you can still be objectifying someone.” Out of curiosity, DiMauro had a friend record the 9 p.m. Mass later that day. While the ultimate message might have been the same, DiMauro insists the two sermons were “completely different.” “He definitely engages with everyone over his homilies and that’s something that contributes to the mysteries, because you know he’s this great mind,” says DiMauro, who attends Mass most weeks. “It’s very clear when you talk to him that he’s an intellectual, whereas [with priests] at home, it’s more Catholic rhetoric.” Kartje can therefore be looser with his language and introduce contemporary ideas using campus culture to show students what they can take away from it all. In contrast, Kartje says in the morning he “might throw in a reference to Ed Sullivan.” Despite his unorthodox path to priesthood, Kartje’s approach is working. Sheil continues to draw a large portion of Catholic students on campus, and Kartje says he is intent on continuing his work in Evanston. Kartje’s path has certainly been peculiar, and his methods are often unconventional. But he says he has no doubt in his faith and that science has only helped serve him, and he has no plans to change the way he runs his Masses. He wants to be different, and he wants to challenge the way people think. “I’m not trying to be the hip priest,” Kartje says. “People don’t want priests who try to be what they aren’t. It’s just a question of, can you be frank and open in conversation?”

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photo: daniel schuleman; photo courtesy: the murphy family

aclyn Murphy defeated the beast eight years ago. When a precautionary CAT scan of her brain revealed a tumor on her cerebellum called a medulloblastoma, she underwent an operation to remove it. The operation was successful, but her recovery wasn’t easy. Jaclyn grew up in a small town about two hours from New York City and was only 9 years old when she was diagnosed. She followed a grueling regimen of chemotherapy to destroy whatever remained of the cancer and radiation therapy to keep it away for good. The recovery process caused her hair to fall out, stunted her growth, damaged her hearing and eyesight and diminished her coordination so badly, she needed to relearn to walk. All of this came with a 60 percent chance of survival. Yet what made Jaclyn’s story remarkable are the ones who fought with her: the Northwestern women’s lacrosse team. Alongside a loving family and the seasoned doctors of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, the team and Coach Kelly Amonte Hiller adopted Jaclyn as one of their own, thanks to several twists of fate. When the Murphys realized the impact the Wildcats had on their daughter’s victory and recovery—and in turn, the life-changing one the team says Jaclyn had on them—they embarked on a journey to find a team for every child in the United States with a brain tumor. The Murphys knew their experience could be replicated across the country for children who may never live to their teenage years and for studentathletes who focus only on the field, the classroom and their social lives. It’s a journey inspired by a girl wise beyond her years, a family devoted beyond restraint, an organization working beyond its means and a team that found inspiration and perspective in a little girl, all fighting together for love beyond the clutches of the beast.

“I was a tomboy, and sports were my life.” Sixty miles north of Manhattan Island and nestled in the heart of New York’s Hudson River Valley rests Hopewell Junction and its 376 residents. This is the place Jaclyn Murphy calls home. Born on Sept. 28, 1994, Jaclyn is a self-proclaimed “tomboy” who loved playing soccer. Highly active and incredibly skilled, she took to the sport quickly and flourished. But when she was 9, another sport caught her fourth grade eye: lacrosse. “I grew up around it,” Jaclyn says, citing the influence of her cousins and the prevalence of the sport in New York. “I just wanted to start pick-up because it was a fun and interesting thing to play and I was a

really good soccer player when I was little. So why not put a stick in the hand and see how it goes?” Lacrosse came as naturally to Jaclyn as soccer had. Though the sport was popular in most of New York, it was relatively new to Hopewell Junction, and Jaclyn’s only option was a local clinic hosted by Matt Cameron, who was then an assistant coach for Major League Lacrosse’s Boston Cannons under head coach Scott Hiller. Jaclyn remembered being one of three girls in a group of 25 participants. Jaclyn’s lacrosse experience soon halted, however, because of what appeared to be a persistent stomach bug. But it wasn’t a virus that was making Jaclyn sick: It was a brain tumor.

“We can’t tell you what we found over the phone.” In late February 2004, Jaclyn spent two weeks throwing up every morning and feeling better later in the day. While Jaclyn’s parents, Denis and Lynda, waited for their daughter’s immune system to fight off what they thought was a stomach virus, they started to notice something was wrong. It was March 19, Lynda remembers, when she first noticed the change in Jaclyn’s gait. Her feet dragged and her balance wavered, and Lynda was troubled by the lack of coordination afflicting her athletic daughter. That day, she took Jaclyn to the emergency room at Vassar Brothers Medical Center. After ruling out Guillain-Barré syndrome, a rare nervous disorder that can paralyze its victims, the doctors at Vassar admitted Jaclyn. At first they insisted it was a persistent virus and then an eating disorder, promising the Murphys she could be released when she stopped throwing up. “What nine-year-old has an eating disorder?” Jaclyn says. “I wanted to eat. I wanted to keep my food down.” But she couldn’t, and the Murphys visited their pediatrician at home for a follow-up. The pediatrician ordered a CAT scan on March 26, 2004. Later that evening, the Murphys received a phone call from a nurse. “We can’t tell you what we found over the phone,” Lynda remembers the nurse saying. “We need you to come in.” They had found a malignant brain tumor. More specifically, it was a medulloblastoma on the fourth ventricle of Jaclyn’s cerebellum, which had been causing the nausea and loss of balance. Faced with the prospect of losing her daughter, Lynda’s mind went straight to what she could have done to prevent the cancer. “You start thinking about, ‘Did I do something wrong

as a mother?’ So many questions, so many emotions all at once,” she says. “And then you finally have to say to yourself, ‘Forget about the questions. This is what we have to deal with. We have to move forward now.’” At the end of March, the surgeon removed close to 99 percent of the tumor, but the battle had just begun for Jaclyn and her family.

“Where heaven and hell meet.” “I always say if you ever wonder when you’re walking around town or walking around campus, if you ever take a minute to think about the world and where heaven and hell are, heaven and hell meet on the ninth floor of Sloan-Kettering,” Denis says. The ninth floor of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City is the pediatric ward. One of the most prolific cancer hospitals in the world, Sloan-Kettering treats patients of all ages and cases of all severities. “There are angels up there trying to help these children, doctors and nurses and all types of support people trying to help these children,” Denis says. “But then there’s also the beast trying to take their lives away. What we see up there is life-changing.” After surgery, Jaclyn’s life drastically changed during recovery—for good and for bad. It began with six weeks of radiation to her head and spine to eradicate whatever remained of the tumor, followed by eight cycles of chemotherapy. Not unlike the place where it was administered, cancer treatment itself is a combination of heaven and hell; heaven because it destroys the cancer, hell because it destroys the patient as well. Jaclyn dealt with several side effects: The radiation stunted her growth and slowed her cognitive ability, and the chemotherapy thinned her once thick brown hair, damaged the hearing in her right ear, made her gluten-intolerant and eliminated her appetite as she withered away to just 50 pounds. “It was draining, tiring,” Jaclyn says. “It was eating my body away, and my parents couldn’t handle that.” Along with the physical pain came emotional pain for Jaclyn. She missed almost half of fourth grade and all of fifth because of her treatments. She was unable to attend school in her weakened state, so a teacher visited to catch her up on coursework. Like many pediatric cancer patients, however, she was often socially isolated and lost her friends. The emotional and physical burdens of Jaclyn’s treatment were too much for Denis and Lynda to handle. They stopped Jaclyn’s chemotherapy during the fifth week to salvage what was left of their daughter’s health. The family used inspiring and soothing images

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“We knew this moment had changed our lives forever.” Jaclyn received the package from the Northwestern women’s lacrosse team in 2005 while the squad was en route to an undefeated championship season. As her treatment wind down, Jaclyn started following the team. She used the media guide to scout players and upcoming matches, searching for one to attend. She found the only relatively local game in April, but there was one problem: The game was against Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, a five-hour drive away. Her parents were hesitant to travel so far, as she was still frail from treatment, but Jaclyn convinced Denis to let her meet the Wildcats. Amonte Hiller invited Jaclyn to speak at the team’s pre-game dinner the night before. Until then, Jaclyn had never talked about her illness with anyone but family members and doctors. Jaclyn and Denis opened up to the team about her diagnosis and difficulties, her symptoms and the side effects, and her long road to recovery. When Jaclyn’s story left the team speechless, both sides understood the full impact of the gesture. “As Denis spoke, there was complete silence in the room, with everyone zoned-in and focused on this tragic yet heroic story,” Lindsay Owens (Comm ’07), a member of the team who became one of Jaclyn’s closest friends, writes in an email. “For a girl to go through so much at such a young age was unfair, unheard of and life changing.”

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The players on the 2005 squad gained a new perspective and new purpose on and off the lacrosse field. The Wildcats had adopted Jaclyn. Venechanos, who now coaches at Ohio State University, said the team’s focus shifted to not only winning a national title for Northwestern, but also winning every game along the way for Jaclyn. On game day, the Wildcats wore shirts that sported Jaclyn’s motto: “Live in the moment, play in the moment.” They beat Johns Hopkins and every team afterward and won their first national title. Since the championship game against the University of Virginia was held in Annapolis, Md., Jaclyn could attend and celebrate on the field with her sisters. But before confetti flew and championship rings were handed out (with one made especially for Jaclyn), the Wildcats called and texted Jaclyn on days she had treatment or M.R.I.’s, or whenever she wasn’t feeling well. They would leave her special messages on her CaringBridge website, a Facebook-like page for patients going through severe medical treatment. Most importantly, they made her feel better. “[They made] me feel somewhat normal and took my mind off of it,” Jaclyn says. “And then I started texting them ‘Good luck! Kick butt! I just got blood taken, you can give a little blood to this team.’ Pump up messages.” On Christmas 2005, Jaclyn, who was still recovering from the effects of the tumor and treatment, felt too sick to open her presents. She stayed in bed until she got a call from Owens, which Jaclyn calls “the best Christmas gift I’ve ever gotten.” “She would always call me when I was down,” Jaclyn says. “She was just a really great friend to me and she has a very special place in my heart. I feel like my best friends are the Northwestern girls because they were there for me … and they understand me.” As for the Wildcats, they insist that Jaclyn did as much good for them, if not more, as they did for her.

Shannon Smith (WCAS ’12), the Wildcats’ alltime leading scorer who met Jaclyn in 2005 while being recruited by Amonte Hiller, felt the full force of Jaclyn’s story before even joining the team. “I started crying when I first heard the story,” she says. “It was inspiring and it was truly incredible.” Owens writes in an email that her relationship with Jaclyn gave her the mental toughness on the field to become an elite lacrosse player and the perspective off the field to appreciate her life. “I can never thank Jaclyn enough for how much she has impacted my life,” Owens writes. “She has made me grow stronger mentally, made me more appreciative of all the things I have in life and [made me] cherish every moment. Jaclyn opened my eyes to life and what it’s really all about.” Smith mirrors Owens’ sentiment. “If I impacted Jaclyn the littlest bit, that would be an honor,” she says. “I think she completely turned my life upside down and impacted me in more ways than one, in ways that I can’t even describe to you.”

“We need to get this girl a team, Dad.” Denis knew the influence the players had on Jaclyn, but he didn’t realize how much until Jaclyn made a peculiar request. One day, Jaclyn sat in the ninth floor waiting room, texting the lacrosse team when a little girl sitting beside her asked why Jaclyn’s phone was constantly buzzing. Jaclyn matter-of-factly said she was texting her friends from Northwestern and returned to her phone. “Here she is, sitting in the middle of hell,” Denis says. “Children running around with bald heads, IVs, crying on the pediatric floor, and she was oblivious to it all because the girls were communicating with her.” After a doctor summoned in the little girl, Jaclyn turned to her father.

photo courtesy: the murphy family

to help Jaclyn through treatment, and as Jaclyn and her father walked through a hall in Memorial SloanKettering plastered with pictures of athletes, Denis would always point to the photo of a group of young women from the University of Maryland’s women’s lacrosse team. Every time, he would say to Jaclyn, “One day you’re going to be healthy and you’ll be playing lacrosse again.” One of the players in that picture is Kelly Amonte Hiller*, head coach of the Northwestern University women’s lacrosse team and wife of Scott Hiller, who oversaw the Boston Cannons with Jaclyn’s former coach Matt Cameron. Cameron noticed how quickly she had picked up lacrosse, so much so that he felt disheartened when he learned that she hadn’t signed up to play the following year. That’s when he called the Murphys and found out that Jaclyn was preoccupied—not with another sport, hobby or activity, but with her battle against brain cancer. When Cameron found out about Jaclyn’s sickness, he asked Scott Hiller if his wife’s team could do anything. Around the same time, Denis’ brother Terrence Murphy, a chiropractor in their hometown of Yorktown Heights, N.Y., asked one his patients, Connie Venechanos, if her daughter could help out his sickly niece. Venechanos’s daughter, Alexis, was one of Amonte Hiller’s assistants at Northwestern. Amonte Hiller and Venechanos eventually realized they were reaching out to the same girl. The coaches and their team then put together a care package with a get-well-soon card and signed media guide to send to Hopewell Junction.

“We need to get that girl a team, Dad,” she said. After two years of listening to his daughter tell him how happy the Wildcats made her, and the team members tell him how powerful she was to them, Denis decided he would replicate what Jaclyn had with the Wildcats for other kids and other teams. “The [Northwestern] girls kept telling me they were getting more out of this than we were, and I couldn’t digest that or process it,” he says. “I would move mountains for what they were doing for Jaclyn. Because anything you do to see your daughter happy or smile is more priceless than any material object that you can ever think of.” Just like Jaclyn gave the Wildcats a mission in 2005, she had now given her father one of his own: Give every pediatric brain tumor patient and family a college team to love and support them. That’s when Denis started the Friends of Jaclyn Foundation in 2007. “They’re not a mascot,” he explains. “They’re not there to go to a pizza party. They become a part of the team for as long as they live.” Denis began by reaching out to families within the tightly-knit pediatric brain tumor community over listservs. He also contacted the support centers at cancer hospitals across the East Coast. Because of the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, which limits the public use of personal health information, Denis often received scrutiny and dispassionate responses to his messages. But through word-of-mouth contacts and seemingly endless meetings, Denis set the foundation upon which FOJ would grow to support more than 352 children in 42 states. “The fact that the team is involved in these young girls’ and boys’ lives is a huge experience,” Venechanos says. “It’s tremendous. You can’t put into words what it means to the girls and the coaching staff just to be a part of that development for everybody. It’s special.” “It took Denis a long time to realize how much effect the child has on some of the teams, how it impacts their lives,” Lynda says. “It’s life changing for them as well. It’s nothing you can learn about through a textbook or a school.” As the momentum behind FOJ gathered, so did the media attention. Local newspapers and news stations flocked to cover adoptions, and the growing influence of the organization caught the eye of Pete Thamel, a sports writer for the New York Times. Thamel, who now contributes to Sports Illustrated, told Murphy that he lobbied for his May 2009 article about FOJ to appear on the front page of the Times’ sports section. The story eventually reached Chapman Downes, an HBO producer. Downes contacted the Murphys about doing a segment on FOJ that summer for the documentary show “Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel.” FOJ was about to be hit with a storm—and they weren’t prepared.

“Live in the moment, play in the moment.” The “Real Sports” special aired on July 21, 2009. The boom in attention and interest was so sudden and widespread that Denis is still sorting through emails from three and a half years ago.

“I didn’t go to school for this, to go into the non-profit world, but there was something pulling me, driving me to do this. I had to get these children teams. I had to get them teams.” -Denis Murphy “The response to that was like a tsunami,” Denis says. “We have over 1,200 teams that are waiting to adopt a child.” Besides those teams, Denis says that each branch of the United States Armed Forces has contacted him, along with police departments, fire departments, models and even the Hooters franchise. Though the storm has subsided somewhat, the pace at which FOJ is expanding is sometimes too much for Denis to handle. He never stops working, however, to keep up with the interest people around the country have shown and the ambition he has to touch as many lives as he can. “I don’t come up for air,” he says. “I can’t think about it. I just keep going—probably too fast. I’ve got to slow down. It’s just too fast. There are too many children every single day. We’re understaffed, but it will come in time. It’s going to be a major organization one day and the benefit that these children receive is priceless.”

This benefit, he says, is what motivates him. Tears well in his eyes as he says, “They shouldn’t have to go through this. I just turned fifty. I lived ten lifetimes compared to them. That’s what it is.” But before he expands FOJ beyond the United States, Denis is working to strengthen the organization’s roots domestically. FOJ is headquartered in a small donated room in Colonial Terrace in Cortlandt Manor, N.Y. The operators of the-mansion-turned-catering hall donated a rundown house Denis plans to remodel in the mold of The Ronald McDonald House in New York City. Children and their families will one day be able to stay at the FOJ house for easier access to New York City cancer centers. FOJ’s mission also involves remembering the children, or “angels,” who were adopted by teams before they passed away. On Sept. 30 2012, the organization hosted the First Friends of Jaclyn Angel Walk at the Walkway Over Hudson State Park in Poughkeepsie, N.Y. The walk included a girls’ lacrosse clinic and a balloon release, with one balloon representing each of “Jaclyn’s Angels.” Each angel will also be commemorated in a memory garden at the Friends of Jaclyn house once it is complete. While Denis says he isn’t formally qualified for non-profit work, he says he firmly believes that one day the efforts of FOJ will be as significant as wearing the pink breast cancer ribbon. “I didn’t go to school for this, to go into the nonprofit world, but there was something pulling me, driving me to do this,” he says. “I had to get these children teams. I had to get them teams.”

The Road Ahead Jaclyn Murphy is now 18 years old and a freshman at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, N.Y. She’s majoring in sports communication and hopes one day to use her education to spread her namesake organization across the world, so children and teams can feel the same love and support she and the Wildcats felt for so many years. Because of the effects of radiation, she has an individual education plan that gives her more time to complete assignments when necessary, but, otherwise, she lives a typical collegiate life. For many families fighting their own battles, Jaclyn serves as a symbol of hope. Chance connected her with the Wildcats, admiration strengthened her bond with the team and a love that started in Hopewell Junction, traveled to Evanston and Baltimore now reaches across the United States, connecting and uniting families and student-athletes. But Jaclyn doesn’t dwell on her past. Although she says her journey has shaped her and made an incredible impact on her world, her eyes are focused on the present. Sometimes the beast can’t be defeated. But for every moment that Jaclyn’s friends are living or playing, and not fighting, the beast is powerless. That, after all, is the beauty of Friends of Jaclyn. “I live by our motto,” she says. “‘Live in the moment, play in the moment.’ Take one day at a time.” Disclaimer: Coach Amonte Hiller, and current Northwestern lacrosse players, was not cleared by Northwestern Athletic Communications to speak with NBN.

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Essay by robinson meyer

ow do we know something is true? (Okay, throw-away question.) We hear it—the true thing—from a professor. We read it in a book. We see it on the news. But on a larger scale, we know something is true because it jives with information we already know, so we can quickly understand how it passes muster. It fits, in other words, into a discipline: geology, political science, sociology. A discipline is made of two things: a bundle of useful knowledge, and a set of tools which allow us to discover more of the knowledge. But once we come into those disciplines, how do we begin to grasp the tools required to expand truth? How do we learn to learn? We search, and search, and search again. We research. And at Northwestern, we learn to research weirdly.

he domain of research has two different areas: The first includes skills for general research crucial to the production of good knowledge and applicable to every discipline. Disciplines aren’t just made up of different sets of knowledge, but of different types, gathered by different tools. Quotes from random dudes on the street can work in journalism, but not so much in English literature. The tools we marshall in a specific field can include types of searching,

photography by brennan anderson and daniel schuleman

types of reading, systems of organizing information and, above all, ways of honing the questions we’re trying to answer. Disciplines are made of tools plus knowledge. In one example: “Econometrics may be defined as the social science in which the tools of economic theory, mathematics and statistical inference are applied to the analysis of economic phenomena,” says Damodar Gujarati and Dawn Porter’s Basic Econometrics. These include finding sources, understanding the rhetorical goals of an author, organizing collected information and posing a research question. Then there’s all the second-level research skills, unique to each discipline. In sociology, these include how to hold a non-exploitative interview or how to tabulate collected data; in English, they include how to marshall a novel’s text to support an argument. Let’s assume that all those secondary skills get taught in the major, and that they get taught partly through osmosis. Reading literary criticism teaches you how to write it. History and anthropology, to their enormous credit, have research methods classes; most other upper-level major classes will force kids to write a longish paper at some point. But what if most Northwestern students never learn the first round of skills? What Northwestern teaches you about research depends almost entirely on which school you're in.

here are no average universities, but Northwestern can seem particularly strange. Of our six undergraduate schools, three—Medill, Bienen and McCormick—are pre-professional and two—SESP and the School of Communication—are united mostly by shared theoretical concerns. Weinberg claims the mantle of the liberal arts college. (University press releases and various administrators, including Provost Linzer, call Weinberg “the College.”) Those schools are responsible for teaching us pretty much what we know. An average student might take classes in two or three: their “home” school, the College and a "vacation" course to cover a distribution requirement. Three of Northwestern’s schools have some kind of comprehensive research instruction. SESP touts the research its undergraduates do, putting all students through a comprehensive research class. The class covers the swath of the process: the basics of asking a question, sourcing and validating social policy. The School of Communication has no broad research requirement, but its individual majors do. Communication Studies mandates students take a research seminar. The theatre department does, too. All theatre students must take 140-2, a seminar taught by a graduate student on a topic from the history of theatre. (It follows 140-1, called “Theatre in Context,” described by Theatre Professor Harvey Young as

“Theatre in More Context.”) Theatre research has concerns most Weinberg kids don’t need to think about, like how written scripts become interpreted performances. Theatre seminars approach those problems. Freshmen take a small seminar, on a discrete topic in which they probably have no background, to learn sourcing, information literacy and how to construct a supported argument and topic of inquiry. In McCormick, engineering students learn how to do research through individual projects in their Design Thinking and Communication (DTC, formerly known as Engineering Design and Communication, or EDC) course, which the school calls “foundational.” In DTC, teams of students are given a real design problem with real clients—usually a device for a disabled person—then research the client, previous prototypes and the disability itself. The class pairs teachers from the College’s Writing Program with engineering instructors. “Because students are engaging with research in a way that feels good to them as engineers, they start to understand intuitively the limitations of [every research engagement],” Writing Program Lecturer Kathleen Carmichael says. Students find questions of inquiry from their project: In Engineering, the demands of the design themselves cull topics of interest. The Bienen School of Music parades its students through a two-year music

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theory sequence. The class involves some research, but it focuses mostly on the history and practice of western theory itself. Medill’s journalists take 201-1, which verses them in the basics of street reporting and fast news writing. Students in both these schools learn what passes as research in their profession. Neither school teaches its students, in a systematic way, how to approach scholarly research. So, among Northwestern’s five schools, three push almost all of their students through a research instruction regime, and two leave something to be desired.

hen there’s Weinberg. Freshmen in Weinberg face a few requirements when they start fall quarter. They probably study a language. They start in on their distribution requirements. If they’re pre-med or in economics, they have to start knocking major requirements out of the way. They also take a freshman seminar. The seminar gives a professor or graduate student free reign to teach a class on a topic as long as it also advances students’ writing proficiency. Freshman seminars are the only college-wide mandated class the school offers—they’re the only class everyone has to take—and they don’t really teach research. “The freshman seminar is primarily geared toward writing,” says Ron Braeutigam, the associate provost for Undergraduate Education. “You don’t want to displace the critical function, which is that you want students to learn writing skills early.” But once students leave the seminars, they enter their departments— and some departments are less rigorous than others. Anthropology mandates all its students write a thesis; history teaches research methods classes; but not all disciplines are so insistent upon research. It’s possible to graduate from the College without learning the basics of scholarly research in the humanities and social sciences. It’s feasible you could graduate from two schools or the College without ever taking a scholarly research methods class.

here’s a reason for that. “So if you look at any article in the sciences or psychology, how many people are listed as the author?” asks Peter Civetta, the director of the Office of Undergraduate Research. “Seven or eight of them. And it’s not alphabetical.” All the names mean something.

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“In the humanities, it’s all about sole authorship. If I’m a professor at Northwestern, and I want to get tenure— which is a good thing—and I want to collaborate with you on a book, that book cannot be used for tenure purposes. Because only sole author works are considered. So the world of humanities, writ large, focuses on sole authorship. “So then you have this whole model for students, where they see me teach a class but they don’t see me do my work. I do my work on my own.” And that work is important; it’s what makes us a research institution. But it doesn’t. The Carnegie Foundation defines what research universities are, and research is much more the operative term for a faculty than it is for undergrads. “Research university” as a term comes from the first half of the 20th century, when large universities built labs, founded journals and gorged on federal money. Research universities—the definition was developed at the time—are designated research universities because faculty publish, and they publish a lot. They have certain non-research requirements. Research universities also must offer a range of bachelor’s degrees, as well as the doctorate as a terminal degree. But research schools like Northwestern are research schools because of what our professors do. But Northwestern still supports research at an undergraduate level. If you want to do research, and you are an undergraduate, the University will metaphorically pick up enormous Scrooge McDuck-sized bags of free money and toss them at you. “There is a well-established, smartly, cogently, intelligently established and growing presence and center for undergraduate research on campus,” says Stephen Hill, associate director of the Fellowships Office, whose job is to help graduate students create research projects that outside institutions fund—and he isn’t talking about his office. He was talking about the recently unveiled Office of Undergraduate Research, which has unofficially prospered for the past few years under the Provost’s Office. Its staff includes Director of Undergraduate Research Office and Undergraduate Research Advisor Peter Civetta and Jana Measells, and they offer all manner of free money to Northwestern undergraduates: $3,000 in the summer and $1,000 during the school year that goes to all

sorts of activities, lab experimenting or archive digging or literature reviewing. The office hands out dozens and dozens of grants every year, and its budget has increased by more than 50 percent over the past three years. “The two fundamental questions I get are: ‘What is research in my field?’ and ‘How do I do it?’” Civetta says. Civetta and Measells work full-time to support research at Northwestern. This means that they, along with the fellowships office, have to do a little bit of clean-up. They have to fill the gaps in research skills left by Northwestern’s curriculum. For Civetta and Measells, that means coming to classes and hawking the grants they can offer. That means

“the university wants to give away free money to its students, but it has to teach them outside of class how to get that free money.” showing up at activities fairs and talking up free money. And it means holding Humanities Research Workshops, a series of nighttime events in Norris throughout the winter where the very basics of research are taught.

e ran [the HRW workshop] for four weeks in January—on Mondays in January,” Civetta says. “How crazy is that? We had a great turnout. Over seventy-five students signed up, we had thirty to forty at any session. In terms of humanities and creative arts students, on Mondays in January, that’s unbelievable.” The program helped students develop research projects. Civetta

shares an example: “I like pies—delicious. I want to do a summer research project on pie. So what are the questions I need to ask to get me from my love of pie to something I can do? This video lays out those things.” It’s a funny thing: The University wants to give away free money to its students, but it has to teach them outside of class how to get that free money. The University can’t rely on its own curriculum to teach kids how to research. This is the paradox of undergraduate research at Northwestern, the paradox between what Northwestern’s administration supports and what Northwestern actually teaches. At the extracurricular, administrative level, money overflows: There are two whole University offices, Undergraduate Research and Fellowships, devoted almost entirely to finding free money to support undergraduate research and handing it out. But what about support for research in classes, in the curriculum, in the supposedly most essential, dayto-day task of the University?

he best part of undergraduate research,” Civetta says, “is that what they get is the opportunity to take their learning, their curriculum, their major, and put it up on its feet, without everything being cleaned up. “So if I’m teaching a class, and I’m giving an assignment, if I’ve done my job correctly, it’s really clear what you need to do. Because I’ve cleaned out the mess and you go; I need to write an essay about this which means I need to read these things and analyze blah blah—but it’s clear. “Well, life isn’t like that. And research isn’t like that. The fun part about doing undergraduate research is that the student has to say, what are the questions I want to answer? And then they have to say, well, what are the best ways to answer them?" But Northwestern—with all its labs and library shelves—prides itself on being a research university, in a long tradition of scholarly institutions, and right now the system of teaching students how to engage with that tradition does not involve teaching them to research. When Medill or Bienen students find themselves in a 300-level history class—and they will—they may lack the skills to handle the papers they’re assigned with aplomb. Besides, we throw so much money at research already. Might as well throw a class at it, too.

ONE LAST THING.

DRINKS FOR COMMITTING CRIME... pg. 46 | ...AND WHAT TO DO IF YOU GET CAUGHT pg. 46 ENJOY A MEAL WITH YOUR MOVIE pg. 48 | SPOTLIGHT: CAMPUS ANIMALS pg. 49 THE THIN LINE BETWEEN DREAMS AND REALITY pg. 50 | CHOOSE YOUR OWN SIN pg. 51

These five drinks pack a punch, so whatever crime you choose, we’ve got an elixir for you. photo: dummy name here

Photograph by DANIEL SCHULEMAN

NORTHBYNORTHWESTERN.COM | 45

Sip your way into the slammer. B Y A L E X I S N . SANCHEZ

It takes courage to ask people for the time and then steal their iPhones the moment they use them to check the clock. Whether that courage comes in the form of liquid or just your innate ability to commit bizarre crimes, we’re not going to judge. But for those of you with a little less chutzpah, we’ve concocted a few alcoholic beverages that will not only help you grow some cojones, but also make your list of priors look as good as your résumé.

TWO-FER

We like to call this guy Two-fer because New Jersey’s Devil’s Spring Vodka has more than twice the alcohol content of many other vodkas. For those of you with enough bar savvy to see that this is a modern interpretation of a Sex on the Beach, the drunken urge to publicly self-gratify will seem obvious.

TE-KILLA

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1 can Cocaine energy drink

1 can Four Loko

GIN-GER BEER

2 oz. gin

L cup pineapple juice

L cup peach juice

1 cup Reed’s ginger brew

L cup cranberry juice

1 lime

2 oz. Sierra Tequila Splash of orange juice 1 oz. triple sec

A few basil leaves

1 oz. 190 proof Everclear 1 oz. triplesec N cup pineapple juice

1 cup sweet and sour mix

Dash of lime juice

7UP or Sprite to finish

“HELLO, occifer”

THE FIVE LOKO

Four Loko? We’ll do you one better with Five Loko. Ever since our favorite drink lost its caffeination, we’ve had to jerry-rig our own stimulating creations. But if an energy drink with a name like Cocaine doesn’t make you crazy enough to try mugging someone in front of University Police headquarters, we’re disappointed in you.

If you can’t taste the alcohol in this beverage, you probably won’t need any more liquor to commit a crime. Blackwood's 60 Gin is more alcohol than botanicals. Get your crime spree started on a classy note with sea pink flowers, wild water mint, meadowsweet and coriander. Consequently, keep your collar white by screaming “blowjobs” in front of Mayor Tisdahl’s humble abode.

strategies by how drunk you are 100%

ODDS OF GETTING AWAY WITH IT ODDS OF GETTING AWAY WITH IT

50%

“Like not even drunk at all pretty much”

“Pretty drunk”

“Way too drunk”

“I am never drinking again”

[ ]

EVER STEER CLEAR

You may as well use Everclear as a substitute for rubbing alcohol—it’s at 95 percent alcohol by volume. The 190 proof version is so potent, it’s banned in 14 states. Luckily, Illinois is not one of them. After imbibing this cocktail, the trick is to see how many iPhones you can steal before you’re banned from the city of Evanston.

It finally happened. Everything was going according to plan. The weather was warm and the Natty Ice was cold. Your butt looked great in those leggings, and nobody made fun of you for not wearing real pants this time. But suddenly, none of that mattered. You got busted. Maybe you should have found a more discreet place to pee than in the middle of the road or a more sensible place than a back-alley dumpster in which to vomit. Regardless, now’s the time for you to sober up faster than a surprise phone call from your parents can. You have to talk to Evanston’s Finest, and they’ll be too apathetic to care if you pull out this handy guide right on the spot.

strategies by offense Busted Party

If music was too loud, explain that even though you worked super hard on a playlist, nobody was dancing, and you had to do something. He’ll cut you some slack.

Yelled Racial Slurs at Passersby

As per Northwestern tradition, it’s pretty hard to believe you will ever actually be confronted by an officer for this. Moving on.

Improper Behavior in Line at Burger King

You’d have a better chance of getting away with murder than dicking around at Burger King. Your best bet is to step outside and text your friends to grab your order of chicken tenders and two Hershey’s Sundae Pies. But even if they do get that text in time, your night is ruined—there’s no way they’ll remember to ask for sauce. Avoid this at all costs.

miscellany

ases that phsrs off cops pi

“I want to talk to your supervisor.”

phrases t h piss off your at gir l

“Calm down!”

“Are you PMSing?”

end fri

This ridiculous beverage is also known as the “Flying Squirrel,” although we’ve tweaked it to help you tweak out. With two shots of tequila from a bottle topped with a sombrero cap, you’ll be acting out Hispanic stereotypes so fast, you’ll land in a disciplinary hearing quicker than you can say frijoles.

2 oz. Devil Springs vodka

1 oz. 100proof vodka

“You’re just like your “I didn’t “I know my mother!” do rights!” “Why are anything “That makes you pulling wrong.” your butt me over?” look big.” —Jon Oliver

photo: daniel schuleman; illustration: hilary fung

Booze For Getting Busted

R UI

EQ R S S ST ENT ILL E T D ED AT STU M M O /G R NU G T E GR FO LYIN O P N AP

get a GRADUATE DEGREE in journalism.

join the MEDILL network. CONNECTED IN NYC, CHICAGO, D.C. AND THE WORLD

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Dinner And A Movie

Make your cinema multisensory. BY PRIYA KRISHNAKUMAR

For your next movie night, try recreating a little bit of the film for yourself in the comfort of your own room. And what better way to do so than with food?

1. zoolander: ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCCINO

Anyone familiar with the books will remember J.K. Rowling’s elaborate and mouthwatering descriptions of the most delicious concoction of the series, butterbeer, which didn’t appear until the third installment, when Harry, Ron and Hermione began making regular treks to the Hog’s Head. Whether or not butterbeer got its addictive flavor from the addition of schnapps (it’s more fun to pretend it did), this quick and flavorful drink will add an authentic touch to any Harry Potter movie night.

3 1

Ingredients (serves 2): 1 cup cream soda K cup butterscotch syrup K tbsp butter 1 oz. butterscotch schnapps (optional) Directions: Add butterscotch syrup and butter into a glass and microwave mixture for 90 seconds, then add cream soda and stir. For an extra kick, add schnapps before serving.

Ingredients (serves 2): 1 cup strong coffee 2 cups milk 8 tbsp chocolate syrup 1 cup ice 1 tbsp orange extract or N cup orange chocolate chips Whipped cream for garnish (optional) Directions: Freeze 1 cup strong coffee in an ice cube tray, then blend the ingredients together. Add whipped cream, if desired.

2. the avengers: CHICKEN SHAWARMA Who knew Tony Stark was such a fan of hole-in-the-wall Middle Eastern joints? You won’t need superpowers to make Iron Man’s favorite food—just some patience and preparation. Marinate the chicken and pre-make the sauce while watching the earlier movies in the series—by the time you’ve reached the final battle of The Avengers, you’ll be eating like a true superhero.

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Ingredients: (serves 4): 10 cloves chopped garlic Juice of 2 lemons N cup oil 2 tsp curry powder 2 tsp ground pepper 2 lbs boneless chicken 4 pieces pita bread 1 tomato, chopped 1 cup lettuce, chopped

Sauce: 3 cloves garlic, chopped 1 cup tahini 3 cups water L cup lemon juice Salt to taste

Directions: Whisk together garlic, lemon juice and oil, then mix in curry powder, salt and pepper. After coating chicken with marinade, let sit for four to six hours. Once time is up, grill chicken on medium heat until fully cooked, then chop chicken and place on pita bread. Top your creation with chopped tomatoes and shawarma sauce (a mixture of garlic, tahini and cold water stirred thoroughly, with some lemon juice to make it creamy). Add salt to taste.

photo: daniel schuleman

In one of the most tragic scenes in cinematic history, Derek Zoolander and some really, really ridiculously good-looking models go for an illfated drive in pursuit of this pick-me-up drink. Though Zoolander survives, his three male model roommates die in a disastrous explosion triggered by a cigarette and a gasoline fight. Honor their memories by whipping up this version: While the flavors of orange and coffee might seem uncomplementary, this recipe provides a toned-down alternative to actual orange fruit, creating a drink truly worthy of the “Blue Steel” mastermind.

3. harry potter series: BUTTERBEER

Fawning Over Fauna

Bruin the Bear Northwestern’s famous animals take a bow. BY ANNALISE FRANK

A illustration: geneve ong & priya krishnakumar

n intruder walked among us in spring 2012: an elusive, knobbykneed canine. The “Campus Fox,” or “Northwestern Fox,” as it came to be called, wandered unknowingly into a world of celebrity. By showing itself on Northwestern grounds, the fox captured the attention of a campus desiring distraction from impending midterms and finals. The young fox cubs frolicking around South Campus enchanted students like a cat video study break never could. The foxes even spawned a long-running Twitter account, @NorthwesternFox, and made the news on NBCChicago.com. But the Campus Fox and (what might have been) its kits aren’t the first animal travelers to have captivated the student body. Take a look at some other famous Northwestern critters:

Furry Faux Pas

“Mascot is Bear,” The Daily Northwestern announced on Oct. 3, 1923.

Cooper’s Hawks

Before then, Northwestern sports teams were known merely as “the Purple.” The administration thought having a color for a mascot might lack intrigue for the students, so an animal was chosen—specifically a bear cub. He was “Bruin” to The Daily near the beginning, “Teddy” later on and “Furpaw” sometime after he ceased being Northwestern’s mascot and retired in the Lincoln Park Zoo. Bruin, a “real sure, go getter of a bear” according to members of his welcoming committee, started his single-season reign with terror. “Bruin was peeved and when a bear is peeved he is peeved,” The Daily reported. Northwestern students hoped to get the cub to act like a “gentleman,” giving him a home in the cellar of the Phi Delta Theta fraternity house, but Bruin found more appeal in traipsing around campus, rustling up gossip like a story in which he may or may not have eaten Sigma Nu’s cook. Later in the 1923 football season, after a string of losses, players blamed the bear as the “harbinger” of their woes, Billy McElwain, captain of the football team, told The Daily in its Nov. 22, 1923 issue. Tim Lowry, a center on the team, was said to have proposed “tossing [Bruin] on top of

Brando the Dog

the annual Homecoming bonfire Friday night and serving bear chops to the players.” Bruin left his post soon after that, and Northwestern began its journey to becoming the Wildcats.

wouldn’t eat squirrels, despite their abundance on campus, but warblers and other small birds were fair game.

Co-nesting Cooper’s Hawks

Brando can’t talk, but the 6-yearold Australian Labradoodle can still command the attention of any and every person passing him as he lopes through the halls of Kresge and into Crowe Café. “It’s Brando!” one woman exclaims, bending to smooch him on the flat top of his skull, possibly worn down from long, arduous days of receiving pets and head rubs. Though his owner, Classics Professor Emeritus Daniel Garrison, no longer works in his first-floor Kresge office, the pair still makes frequent visits to their old home. For six years Brando was a fluffy beacon of calm for students and faculty, accompanying Garrison nearly every day. “People come for a doggie fix,” Garrison says, responding to the insistent nudge of Brando’s paw by petting the dog while he speaks. “A lot of people … miss their dogs, and so he’s a substitute. Sometimes I’ll come back and there’ll be a couple of people lying on the floor with Brando.” o

In 2007, two Conservation Biology 347 students surreptitiously tracked the mating habits and everyday goings-on of a resident pair of conesting Cooper’s hawks. The monogamous couple had recently moved into an evergreen tree just north of Annie May Swift Hall, according to a report by the students, Matt Combs and Joey Knelman. Despite the constant bustle below—on average, about 76 people passed through the birds’ habitat during five-minute “passing times between classes,” according to the report—the unnamed hawks wouldn’t budge. Strangely intrusive feeding habits also gave the animals a reputation with the student body. Knelman and Combs describe a gory recurring circumstance during that year: The male hawk would careen down from a tree onto a pathway, disregarding any humans in the vicinity, to scoop up a songbird eating crumbs and minding its own business. The hawks

Brando the Kresge Dog

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Keep Your Eyes Open One writer’s narcolepsy taught her to recognize others’ struggles. BY JULIE KLIEGMAN

larious, even when it brings me inconvenience and embarrassment. I know what I might be thinking if someone else were recounting these stories to me: This girl’s “narcoleptic” in the same way some people casually claim ownership of terms like OCD and ADHD without having symptoms of those conditions. Either that, or she’s on some hard drugs. But never fear. Last November I went through nearly 24 straight hours of testing with an unbelievable number of colorful wires attached to my head, neck, nose, chest and legs. My inability to stay awake—in class, in front of the television, in Norris, you name it—is bona fide. “Your test results were mostly normal,” a nurse told me over the phone after the sleep study, “except for the fact that your brain wakes up once per minute during the night and you took five naps during the day after getting seven hours of sleep the night before.” “Mostly normal?” I’m still not sure

what she meant. To combat my brain’s absurdity, I take a pill every night that’s supposed to give me a good night’s sleep and then keep me awake through the next day. Sometimes it works, but oftentimes it does not. Friends and classmates have been amused by my condition, and that’s genuinely OK with me. I had a class where I’m positive people placed bets on how many minutes it would take me to fall asleep. When I hang out with close friends, it’s not uncommon for someone to punch me awake. It’s fine to laugh about it because I do, too. What at first seems like a classic case of an overworked college student isn’t, and I’m not alone in this deception. All of us harbor these little-known facts— something that affects us deeply and profoundly on a daily basis. Narcolepsy happens to be one of mine. Even as a senior, when I’ve had many of the same friends for years, there’s often something crucial going on in their

lives that I’m missing. Never assume you know all there is to know about someone else: a classmate, a friend, even a significant other. When people reveal these aspects about themselves, or when circumstances force you to see them, be understanding, but also don’t be afraid to try and find an upside or a quirk. I consider myself lucky that my disorder amuses me and that I have friends who remind me why it’s so amusing from time to time. As a pessimist, I’m well aware that it’s not easy to get to that point. It wasn’t for me and you shouldn’t expect it to be for a friend of yours, either. Everyone’s struggling with something—be it mental, physical, spiritual, whatever—but everyone also likes to laugh. My hallucinations may paint me as off my rocker, but I know there are worse things in life than waking up thinking my skin is blue or that I’m Facebook friends with a Mexican nun from the 1600s. o

photo: priscilla liu; illustration: sarah lowe

here’s a spider crawling up my arm. It vanishes just seconds later, before I can touch it. But now a puppy is running laps around the classroom. The rest of my Spanish discussion has no problem ignoring him, but I’m hopelessly distracted. Man, I hate dogs. It dawns on me (as it always eventually does) that no one else can see these things. At this point it sounds like I’m either crazy or I’m starring in a mediocre horror film. I’m neither of those things; I’m narcoleptic. The response I hear most when I explain my condition is something along the lines of, “Oh, that’s so cool!” That’s what I get for going to a school where we seem to have more psych majors than free condoms. I don’t get seizures like unluckier narcoleptics do, but I do take daily involuntary short naps—we’re talking a couple of minutes a pop, here—that tend to be followed by hallucinations. Narcolepsy can be fascinating but hi-

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Abandon All Hope... ...Ye who take this quiz. (Or try to find paid work.) BY KEVIN O’TOOLE & NATHANIEL EDWARDS

orthwestern’s seniors will make history in a few months when they become the first class in the University’s history to graduate after the apocalypse. That’s right, the Mayan calendar’s just about run its course, which— as we all know—means it’s time to commit as many sins as possible before everything ends. Wouldn’t you rather go out with a bang? So, fellow sinners, let us begin the laborious trudge of post-rapture life. Choose your favorite sin and find out where you’ll be after the saints go marchin’ in. Oh, and spoiler alert: You’ll probably end up in some version of hell no matter what you do.*

Sloth

What you did: So you skipped class to catch up on “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” and then sent out an email claiming you were sick and asking for notes? How’d that work out for ya? No really, how’d it work out because that sounds great. Your penance: The super-intelligent race of sloths that have enslaved humanity appreciate the cut of your jib and hand you a lucrative unpaid internship. You sleep through your first day of work and get a promotion.

Greed

What you did: You took the last 17 pieces from hot cookie bar. What’s that? It’s “for the table?” Go to hell. Your penance: You’ll be racking up lots of, uh, good résumé filler right out of college as an unpaid intern at Chuck E. Cheese’s corporate offices in scenic Irving, Texas. At least until they replace you with an animatronic coffee-fetching yes-man.

What you did: Your conceit as the assistant editor of somethingor-other truly knew no bounds as you threw around media buzzwords like “citizen journalism,” “predicate nominative” and “spell check” with no respect for human life or dignity. Your penance: Medill degree in hand, you successfully land your dream unpaid internship at Gawker Media ... writing for Jalopnik! #evilcackle #statefarm

Envy

What you did: You decided to follow @nbn_tweets and got real jealous of all their super cool, first place, A+ jokes and stories. Your penance: Finally, you’ve broken into the corporate system as the dedicated “Young Person Who Knows How To Tweet Or Whatever” for Yum! Brands! You may not be paid, but you’ve got major cred with Weird Twitter, so enjoy it while it lasts, @pizzahut.

Pride

Taking the Lord’s Name in Vain

Your penance: You earn an unpaid internship at the Grand ReOpening of Über Burger, now a genetics lab devoted to finding Nietzsche’s ideal burger.

What you did: Believed you’ll find employment. See, they say there are lies, damn lies and statistics. For instance, 100 percent of you reading this are going to find satisfying full-time employment upon graduation! Your penance: You’re the new unpaid marketing intern for Tito’s Eschaton Tacos. Unfortunately, your boss turned down your proposed tagline, “Eschatological Humours,” and went with, “Sometimes you gotta live más.”

Wrath

What you did: Someone said there was no way “Portlandia” was any good and you were all, “Yeah, way,” and that is too close to the Lord’s true name so, sorry, best of luck, next existence.

What you did/What Charlton Heston did: “You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell!” - proud Northwestern alum Charlton Heston at the peak of his career.

Your penance: You’re one of the chosen people in charge of rewinding the “Worst Atrocities in History” VHS every day at every depressing museum.

Your penance: When electricity no longer exists because of ... science(?) ... you are conscripted without pay into the service of a ruthless warlord. Maybe also because a government conspiracy and plane crash and/or mysterious aliens? Could we get Whitney Cummings for this? Or Cee Lo? o

Gluttony

What you did: Cheesie’s hath given and Cheesie’s hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Cheesie’s.

Bearing False Witness

Lust

What you did: Is that another sock on the door? We get it, my freshman roommate Bobbie McRoberts, you’re having a lot of sex.

illustrations: hilary fung

Your penance: You land a really great position as a Pimp’s Assistant! Haha, “Ass.” Wait, “position” is like a sex thing, too, right? Haha, wow, somebody could make a really great joke using that.

*And by "some version of hell," we obviously mean "unemployed." Psych!

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