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Crust us for an all-in-one guide to MOD Pizza’s infamous menu.

e’ve heard about a million people ask for a build-your-own MOD pizza, and it got us thinking: Does the MOD menu mean nothing to you guys? In the name of keeping your lunch experiences as hot and fresh as a steaming Maddy (and to save the MOD workers from making a custom order every time you motherfuckers have a free half-hour on South Campus), we tried all of MOD’s Norris-renowned preset pizzas.

7/10

Mozzarella, pepperoni, mild sausage, ground beef, red sauce Breaking my vegetarianism for this pizza, my first thought was: was giving raw onion and raw onion alone, even though it had sausage shaped like my post-MOD shits. Don’t plan on kissing anyone for the next four to six business days.

And for dessert …

No Name Cake — 12/10

Contents unknown

This may be the most elusive item on the MOD Pizza menu, and I’m pretty sure this was the first time it was ever ordered. We opened it up at the beginning of our meal and let it bask in the sun for a little while, giving it a gooey, chocolatey sensation that welcomed our forks and our taste buds. The final special surprise was a creamy filling that kept us coming back for more. 12/10