2022 NCBS Annual Report

A Line Between Black and Blue: The Struggles of Being a Conscious Black Police Officer by Anonymous Black Police Officer The first thing that I would like to say about being in this line of work as a Black person is that coming in the door, I’m viewed as the enemy. First, an enemy of my people—those who look like me—but also of those who run the police department, white people. For the most part, if they had their druthers, Black folks would never have been able to be police officers. Knowing that, it can be said that I’m working for my open enemy and against those who look like me and the Black community. Just being conscious of these things from the very start creates an internal struggle for me. Working in the police district or precinct as a conscious Black officer is like being in an enclave in which I am different from all the other police officers around me, and even a lot of the officers who look like me. Working with “non-conscious” Black officers is a struggle and at times is extremely problematic for me. The rapper Ice Cube of the N.W.A. once said, “Black police showin’ out for the white cop,” in the song “F*ck tha Police.” There are other examples as well, like KRS-One’s “Black Cop.” The issue of the Black police officer trying his hardest to prove that he or she can fit in, or can be a part of the “Good ole boys’ club,” proves very problematic because, like a puppy attempting to please its owner, these non-conscious Black officers are willing to do just about anything—no matter how detrimental to their people or their career—under the direction of their “white owner.” I once had an officer who was of mixed race, Black and white, tell me that if he sees a “young looking” Black person, particularly a man, in a “nice” or expensive car, he pulls them over. As if Black people cannot have a “nice” vehicle without being a drug dealer or some other type of criminal, as this officer was insinuating—and by the way, although he was of mixed race, the world sees him as a Black man.

This type of skewed worldview is in complete opposition to mine as a conscious Black officer, and it hits differently when it comes from someone who looks like me.

There have been situations where I have had to intervene—times when the “heavy hand” of a Black officer was coming down on or doing bodily harm to another Black person in the community, as well as situations when I had to step in because a white officer was doing the same, while other Black officers stood around and did nothing. Having the knowledge and understanding from whence this behavior comes—fear of white people, and hate for our own—is definitely a part of being a conscious officer that proves a struggle. My main concern as a conscious Black police officer and as a man is Black people and our wellbeing. When working in our communities and witnessing the violence, disenfranchisement, and most of all, deprivation— which some would say is the main cause for most of these struggles—I know that if we just had agency and congruence, things would begin to change. If only I could yell from the corners on a soap box—if only it were that simple. In some ways, I do stand on corners, minus the physical soap box. I talk to my people in the community; I attempt to build a genuine grassroots rapport 211