Volume 7 Issue 2, February 2016
Sending Some Love! plus History of Valentine’s Day Good Debt vs. Bad Debt Spotlight on Military Families Financing College Education Upcoming Events And more
Family Matters
January 2016 Diane Coffill State Family Programs Director diane.l.coffill.civ@mail.mil (984) 664-6324 MSG Ramona Robertson State Family Programs Specialist ramona.k.robertson.mil@mail.mil (984) 664-7005 SSG Tammy Fowler State Family Programs Assistant tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil (984) 664-6876 Lana Greer State FAC Coordinator lana.m.greer.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1667 Alice Dean Lead Child and Youth Coordinator alice.c.dean.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6676 David Nobles Outreach Coordinator david.m.nobles.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6721 Terry Henderson Airman and Family Readiness Program Manager terry.r.henderson3.civ@mail.mil (704) 389-4949 About Family Matters Family Matters was created to provide Service Members and their Families the most up to date information and services available. If you would like to contribute to future issues, please contact SSG Tammy Fowler @ tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil
References in this newsletter to specific commercial products, processes, services or the use of any trade, firm corporation name does not constitute endorsement, recommendation or favoring by NCNG Family Programs
A Message From the Director Happy February, Everyone! This month’s Family Matters is all about Love of Family and preparing for the future, whether that’s just getting your taxes done or getting ready for college. With all of that in mind, we’ve included many articles and flyers about events and activities going on to assist you and your Family. There’s information about a new program called PROSPER for Families with one or more children in the fifth or sixth grade. There’s also information about Free Tax Preparation and knowing the difference between good debt and bad debt so you can plan for your future. Did you know that February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month? It’s never too soon to begin the conversation with your teens about the importance of developing healthy, respectful relationships. If you need more information on how to start the conversation, look on page 16 for a website that can be a valuable resource for you and your teen. In addition, do you have a teen that will be heading off to college in the near future? FAFSA Day is Saturday, February 20. For more information on how to participate, check out page 20. In thinking towards the future, April is Month of the Military Child so be sure to look for the flyer on the upcoming NCNG Child and Youth Program event. Remember your loved ones on Valentine’s Day and take a look at all of the special Valentine pictures that we have in this month’s issue. Also, get to know our Family Programs staff, SSG Tammy Fowler and FAC Specialist, Wendi Bell in this month’s issue. For all of our Volunteers, we are planning three FRG/FRG Refresher Training events in the coming months. These events will be held around the state so please check out page 7 for all the details on how to get registered. I want to wish all of you a Happy Valentine’s Day! Stay safe and warm and remember that the Family Programs staff is always here to assist you.
Diane
Table of Contents 4
Meet Your Family Programs Staff
7
FRG and FRG Refresher Training
8
History of Valentine’s Day
11 Sending Some Love (Valentine’s Greetings) 12 Spotlight on Military Families 15 Good Debt Vs. Bad Debt 16 Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month 19 Family Member Satisfaction Survey
21 Financing a College Education
If you would like to submit photos or stories for future issues of Family Matters, please contact SSG Tammy Fowler at tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil
On the cover: SGT Andrew Moran and Kaci Burgos A Co 1-252 AR
Meet Your Family Programs Staff
SSG Tammy Fowler Family Programs Assistant SSG Fowler began working with Family Programs in March of 2012. She has many tasks she performs including providing admin support to the Family Programs staff, assisting with special events, community outreach, and helping to ensure the quality of family life for Soldiers, Airmen and their Families. She also creates and publishes the “Family Matters” monthly magazine.
SSG Fowler has been in the North Carolina National Guard for nineteen years. She drills with Det 1 694th Support Maintenance Company in Snow Hill, NC as a Utilities Equipment Repairer. SSG Fowler is a native of Thomasville, NC but now resides in Wake Forest. She currently is attending North Carolina State University to pursue her Bachelor’s Degree in Social Sciences and Humanities. Even though she attends NCSU, she is a die hard Tarheels fan! SSG Fowler also assists with Sunday School for the age 4 classes at her church and she has 4 year old “pup” name Willow. She enjoys music, basketball, spending time with family and friends and traveling. One of her favorite places to visit is NYC.
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Meet Your Family Programs Staff
Wendi Bell Family Assistance Center Specialist-Raleigh
Wendi began working with Family Programs in June of 2008. Her duties include providing confidential assistance to Service Members and their Families, educating them on benefits and entitlements as well as assisting in unit and community events.
Wendi is a native of Garner, NC and is a mother to four wonderful kids and also has a nineteen month old granddaughter. Her children are very active so Wendi spends a lot of time either on the baseball field, gymnastics events or whatever after school activity is going on at the time. Her father is a Veteran of the Vietnam War so she has a great deal of respect and admiration for all Veterans and Military Families. Wendi loves to travel but mostly enjoys traveling to the beach or anywhere where the weather is warm and there is a lake or pool nearby.
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History of Valentine’s Day Every February 14, across the United States and in other places around the world, candy, flowers and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint, and where did these traditions come from? Find out about the history of this centuries-old holiday, from ancient Roman rituals to the customs of Victorian England. The Legend of St. Valentine The history of Valentine’s Day— and the story of its patron saint— is shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance and that St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. But who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Did You Know? Approximately 150 million Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged annually, making Valentine’s Day the second most popular cardsending holiday after Christmas. The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome.
When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first “valentine” greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl— possibly his jailor’s daughter— who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine,” an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and— most importantly— romantic figure. By the Middle Ages, perhaps thanks to this reputation, Valentine would become one of the most popular saints in England and France. Origins of Valentine’s Day: A Pagan Festival in February While some believe that Valentine’s Day is 8
celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine’s death or burial— which probably occurred around A.D. 270— others claim that the Christian church may have decided to place St. Valentine’s feast day in the middle of February in an effort to “Christianize” the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. Celebrated at the ides of February, or February 15, Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus. To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. They would then strip the goat’s hide into strips, dip them into sacrificial blood and take to the streets, gently slapping both women and crop fields with goat hide. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed the touch of the hides because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city’s bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.
begin to appear until after 1400. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois. Typical Valentine’s Day Greetings In addition to the United States, Valentine’s Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France and Australia. In Great Britain, Valentine’s Day began to be popularly celebrated around the 17th century. By the middle of the 18th, it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes and by 1900, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Readymade cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one’s feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine’s Day greetings.
Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Lupercalia survived the initial rise of Christianity Howland began selling the first mass-produced but was outlawed— as it was deemed “unvalentines in America. Howland, known as the Christian”— at the end of the 5th century, when “Mother of the Valentine,” made elaborate creations Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine’s with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known Day. It was not until much later, however that the as “scrap.” Today, according to the Greeting Card day became definitively associated with love. During Association, an estimated 1 billion Valentine’s Day the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in cards are sent each year, making Valentine’s Day the France and England that February 14 was the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An beginning of birds’ mating season, which added to estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) the idea that Valentine’s Day should be a day for Women purchase approximately 85 percent of all romance. valentines. Valentine’s Day: A Day of Romance
Valentine’s greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages, though written Valentine’s didn’t
Article courtesy of http://www.history.com
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Matthew, you are my rock, & my soulmate. I love you with all of my heart & look forward to having you home safe.
Sending Some Love!
Leah
Happy to be together again!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Happy Valentine’s Day! We love and miss you! Love, Your Sweethearts!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Happy Valentine’s Day! Babe, your compassion to our family & friends makes me fall in love with you more each day. I’m so luck God gave me you! Love always and forever, Kristi
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Happy Valentine’s Day!
After 5 years, I finally get to spend Valentine’s Day with my best buddy ever! Christopher & Santa Blair
I am thankful that the Lord brought you into my life. You’re not only a tremendous husband blessing , you are a wonderful husband and best friend.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Happy Valentine’s Day! Sending all my love to my forever Valentine!
I love you! Jennifer
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Spotlight on Military Families
The Family of SGT Ronald Pendleton A Co 1-120th IN
I am working on my eighth year of Military Service. The time has gone by much faster than I expected when I enlisted. Through the years, I’ve been honored to have the support of my wife, Karmen. Karmen and I have been married for ten years and we have an eight year old boy, David Riley and a five year old girl, Dailee Rae. David Riley loves to be outside. He loves to hunt, fish and anything that is camo. Dailee Rae loves to be outside also. She is such a good helper and has a big heart just like her daddy. She loves to dance and play with Barbies. My family and I live in a small country town in eastern North Carolina. We enjoy growing a yearly garden and growing chickens— and by we I mean my wife. She loves chickens and we have a back yard full of them. There is nothing like fresh farm eggs. During our down time, we enjoying being in our boat and spending time with the family. Fishing is my favorite thing to do. If it involves a boat, bait and a hook, then I’m there. Anything on the water makes for an enjoyable day in the sun to us. I enjoy spending time with my children and wife as much as I can. Together, we are making memories that will last a lifetime.
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My family has always supported me during my military career. We have been through a deployment, numerous annual trainings as well as missed holidays, anniversaries and birthdays. Being away from home is never easy, especially when you have small children but my wife holds everything together when I’m not around. Karmen was selected to the FRG Leader for Alpha Company, 1-120th prior to the last deployment which is a position not just anyone could fill. Her dedication to the unit does not go unnoticed and is very much appreciated. The passion she has to help others shines through with everything she does for the unit and the FRG. From packing parties, homecoming planning to spending time with families of our fallen Soldiers, she never stops doing what she does best and that is being there for others. Outside of her position as FRG Leader, she is a full-time homeschool mom as well as a tutor in our local homeschool group. Knowing God and making Him known is very important for our family. When I put on my uniform, I stand tall and share pride in what I do and what I love. I have met many fine Soldiers in the short span of my military career— Soldiers that I will never forget. They have made a positive impact on my life and help to instill in me the Soldier I strive to be. The Guard has taught me many skills which help in my civilian career— never quit, always strive to do better. My co-workers call me “Soldier Boy” or “Sergeant” at work. I believe it’s just their way of saying I’m a good leader. Being an NCO has helped me tremendously in the civilian world. I always emphasize teamwork; if one person has a problem, everyone has one. I am proud to wear Old Glory on my right shoulder and represent my unit.
Article submitted by SGT Ronald Pendleton, A Co 1--120th IN
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Good Debt Vs. Bad Debt: Do You Know the Difference?
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ife can be expensive and most of us can’t just pay for a house or a college education out of pocket. Today it’s almost impossible to live without acquiring some kind of debt. And believe it or not, there are two kinds of debt: good and bad. Good debt can be used smartly to achieve your financial goals. Bad debt is what you get when you buy things you may not need with money you don’t have. Even if you accumulate bad debt with the best intentions of paying it off, bad debt is just, well bad, and it can be a slippery slope. Don’t just sit back and watch your debt grow, especially the bad kind. Commit to financial freedom by knowing the difference between good debt and bad debt—and how to manage both.
examples of bad debt:
Goods and services. Things that decrease in value or get consumed — like clothing, food, gas or vacations— end up costing you more in the long run because the interest keeps adding up.
Credit cards. Interest makes a big difference here, too. If you carry credit card balances instead of paying them off in full each month, you’ll pay way more than what the items actually cost. Credit card companies often lure customers in with low or zero interest rates for the first year then charge a higher-than-average interest rate at the end of the promotional period. That’s when you’re really in trouble.
Payday loans or cash advance loans. Avoid these loans at all costs— pun intended. You’ll likely pay a fee to get the loan upfront and the interest rates can be as sky-high as 300 percent.
What is good debt? Good debt is debt that translates into an investment with long-term growth potential. You usually take on good debt after careful consideration and with a clear plan for repaying it. Here are a few examples:
Buying a house. Mortgage debt is good debt and buying a home can be a good long-term investment, depending on how its value appreciates. Interest rates on home loans are generally low and mortgage interest is taxdeductible.
How to control your debt Despite your best efforts, you accumulated some bad debt. Don’t panic— you can get your debt under control. The Department of Defense provides financial services and support to military families struggling with debt and the government has good consumer resources for financial matters.
Paying for college. A college degree increases your earning potential, so student loans are typically considered to be good debt. Student loans generally have low interest rates and a grace period on repayments until after graduation. Buying a car. This one can be good or bad debt, depending on what type of car you buy. Cars rarely maintain long-term value (it’s almost always the opposite) but they can still be a good investment based on your need for a car and the reliability of the one you buy. That $100,000 exotic sports car? Forget it.
What is bad debt?
Furniture, appliances and home remodeling. It’s tempting to borrow money for these big-ticket items. A better plan is to save for these things and avoid going into debt at all.
Get no-cost personal financial counseling. Contact Military OneSource’s financial counseling services to talk with a financial counselor who can help you make a personal financial plan and figure out the best way to pay down your debt. Visit the Federal Trade Commission’s Protection Bureau’s website (http://www.consumerfinance.gov). The CFPB devoted an entire section to military members and their families and their particular financial concerns.
Don’t wait to make a plan, especially if you’re carrying a lot of bad debt. Use your Bad debt can pile up when you buy things that quickly lose their value and don’t have available resources and support to learn better money management and get out of bad any long-term growth potential — and you really can’t afford them to boot. You risk debt — for good. having to pay back significantly more money than you borrowed in the first place. Article courtesy of Military OneSource Even worse, bad debt can negatively affect your credit score, especially if you’ve For more information, go to www.militaryonesource.mil maxed out several credit cards or have bills you can’t afford to pay. Here are some 15
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM). TDVAM is a national effort to raise awareness about abuse in teen and 20-something relationships and promote programs that prevent it. Raising awareness and education is one of the best ways to promote healthy relationships and “break the cycle.” This year, the NCNG Child and Youth Team partnered with the NCNG Sexual Harassment/Assault Response and Prevention Team and hosted a Midnight Bowling Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month kick-off event in Raleigh, NC. Twelve of our NCNG Teens were given the opportunity to discuss healthy relationships with SFC Kristian Hall, JFHQ Sexual Assault Response Coordinator. The teens also bounced around ideas of how to raise awareness in their own schools and for other teens. Teen dating violence occurs more often than one might think. Every year, one in ten high school students report being in an unhealthy relationship which is likely to leave these teens with lasting negative effects. Teens often think some behaviors such as teasing and name calling are a “normal” part of a relationship but these behaviors can become abusive and lead to more serious forms of violence. That is why it is so important to talk to your teen about the importance of developing healthy, respectful relationships. For more information on Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month and to learn how to get involved, visit www.loveisrespect.org.
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Saving for your child’s education early on may be a top priority when
There are numerous financial aid avenues out there. Use these tips to navigate your options.
scholarships can all be feasible options to help
financial plan for the
your family pay for college. If you are eligible
future. With college costs rising each year, most
for the Post 9/11 GI Bill, you may be able to
students may need help funding their education.
transfer the benefits to your children in certain
As your children get older, you’ll want to educate
circumstances.
yourself on how to apply for the different financial aid, college loans and scholarship options. You
Explore all your options. Grants, loans and
Apply, apply, apply. There are many types of
may feel like you have plenty of time but your
scholarships available — even some
young ones will be filling out applications before
specifically geared toward children with
you know it. The bottom line is — you need a plan.
military parents. Help your child find a few good options and then work with them
The department of Defense offers a range of
through the application process. Local
services and support, including personal financial
scholarships are a great place to start but also
counseling that can help you find information and
check out Collegescholarships.org to find
explore your options. Navigating the complexities
reviews of other scholarship websites.
of the different programs available to finance college may seem overwhelming. The process will
take time and most importantly, you’ll need a plan.
until the last minute — the Free Application for Federal Student Aid
Where to start
can be time consuming
Not sure where to begin? Try starting with these
but it is necessary.
three steps: 1.
and where the school is located but you can try to obtain a general ballpark figure. You can use the Department of Education’s College Affordability and Transparency Center calculator to get an estimate. 2.
Start saving– even if it’s just a little bit. You don’t have to resort to eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches just to start a college fund. Instead, try the Military Saves pledge and commit to saving a little each month.
3.
Deadlines also vary by
Figure out how much college will cost. This will depend on where your child wants to go
Know the federal aid deadlines. Don’t wait
state or institution.
Shop around for student loans. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s Know Before You Owe Financial Aid Shopping Sheet can help you make an informed decision.
Saving for college may seem really overwhelming but a little planning and preparation can go a long way.
Visit your child’s high school counselor. The whole process can be pretty intimidating; don’t be afraid to call in reinforcements. Make an appointment with your child’s counselor to figure out what financial aid options are
Article courtesy of Military OneSource.
Financing a College Education
developing a
Navigating financial aid
For more information, visit http://www.militaryonesource.mil/
available. 21
East Flat Rock Unit Family Contact Center 2025 Spartanburg Hwy. 28726 Rebekah Torres: rebekah.s.torres.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-0565
NCNG Service Members and Families’ First Line of Defense Call 1-855-322-3848
Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center 4240 West Blvd. 28208 Carry Bandy: carry.s.bandy.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4573 Anthony Moore: anthony.r.moore8.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4547
Military OneSource Here to help you with just about any need, by phone or online. The service is completely private and confidential with few exceptions. www.militaryonesource.mil 1-800-342-9647
Greensboro State Family Assistance Center 110 Franklin Blvd. 27401 Lynn Stenson: deborah.t.stenson2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5649 Greenville State Family Assistance Center 1401 N. Memorial Dr. 27834 Vacant (984) 661-1150 Lenoir State Family Assistance Center 1535 Beecher Anderson Rd. 28645 Frances Johnson: frances.r.johnson28.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1242 Raleigh Unit Family Contact Center 1636 Gold Star Dr. 27607 Wendi Bell: wendi.h.bell.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6078 Lisa Faison: lisa.m.faison.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7100 Mark Woolbright: mark.l.woolbright.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7102 Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center 406 Hospital Rd. 27577 Abby Millsap: abigail.e.millsap.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-2784 Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center 510 Morganton Rd. 28387 Earlene Buchan earlene.b.capps.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-2683 Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center 2412 Infantry Rd. 28405 Jim Marley: james.e.marley.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6918 Winston-Salem Unit Family Contact Center 2000 Silas Creek Pkwy. 27103 Sandy Harrison: sandra.b.harrison2.ctr@mail.mil (984)-661-7131
Charlotte Nikkie Newsome genesia.k.newsome.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4548
Morrisville George Lane george.w.lane2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6313
Clinton Chekea Hinton-Mack chekea.j.hinton-mack.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5136
Raleigh Norman Dean norman.g.dean2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6537
Goldsboro Gerald Murray gerald.t.murray.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5423
FRSS Trainer Gloria Fields gloria.d.fields.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5620
Greensboro Jill Hathaway jill.a.hathaway.ctr@mail.mil 984-661-5651
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