Family Matters Volume 6 Issue 5
In this issue:
Partnering to Help Service Members in Need Maintaining a Strong Relationship Spotlight on Military Families Tribute to Military Spouse Appreciation Month Resilience Training for NCNG Teens Information on upcoming Family Programs events And so much more!
Family Matters April 2015 Diane Coffill State Family Programs Director diane.l.coffill.civ@mail.mil (984) 664-6324 MSG Ramona Robertson State Family Programs Specialist ramona.k.robertson.mil@mail.mil (984) 664-7005
A Message from the Director Happy Mother’s Day and Military Spouse’s Day! Almost everyone knows that the May holiday is Mother’s Day but did you know that there’s another VERY important holiday in May? It’s Military Spouse Appreciation Day! There’s an EASY way to remember it. It is always the Friday before Mother’s Day. This day celebrates the strength and patriotism of military spouses. This year it is on 8 May, so please take the time to say
SSG Tammy Fowler State Family Programs Assistant tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil (984) 664-6876
“thank you” to that special someone who keeps the “home fires
Lana Greer State FAC Coordinator lana.m.greer.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1667
some great ideas there. Also, check out the photos and stories of
Jason Pleasant Senior FRSA matthew.j.pleasant.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7017 Alice Dean Lead Child and Youth Coordinator alice.c.dean.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6676 Terry Henderson Airman & Family Readiness Program Manager terry.henderson@ang.af.mil (704) 398-4949
burning” and your life on track whether you wear the uniform full time or part time. You’ll see an article from Military OneSource about maintaining a strong relationship and there are some our own amazing Military Spouses in this edition of Family Matters. Have you ever really thought about what your Mom has done for you? Yes, she brought you into the world, but what else? If you’re married, think about all of the unspoken things your wife does for your children. Please take the time to think about that “special” woman in your life whether it’s your Mom, Grandma, Aunt, big sister, family friend or just someone who was that female influence who has helped you along the way. Mother’s Day is 10 May so make sure you do something to show how much you appreciate that special someone. You will see a lot about building partnerships across the state in this month’s issue. What does that mean to you? Well if you’ll look at page 6, you’ll see a sample of what a partnership can really do. In North Carolina, we call it NC Military Veterans’
About Family Matters
Family Matters was created to provide service members and Families the most up to date information and services available. If you would like to contribute to future issues, please contact SSG Tammy Fowler @ tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil
Partnership (NC-MVP). All of our FAC Representatives are responsible for 3-8 counties depending on the number of SMs assigned to units within those counties. Building partnerships is very important in identifying local resources for assistance. So take a look and see how you or someone you know could get involved in your area. With spring in full gear, you’ll find some safety tips to help guide you through. I hope you all have a wonderful May. Enjoy
References in this newsletter to specific commercial products, processes, services or the use of any trade, firm corporation name does not constitute endorsement, recommendation or favoring by NCNG Family Programs
the sunshine but be careful along the way! ~Diane
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Table of Contents 4
Meet Your Family Programs Staff
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Partnering to Help Service Members in Need
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Maintaining a Strong Relationship
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Spotlight on Military Families
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Tribute to Military Spouse Appreciation Month
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Spring Safety Tips
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MOMC Recap
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Resilience Training for NCNG Teens
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Meet Your Family Programs Staff
Alice Dean Lead Child and Youth Coordinator Raleigh, NC Alice began working with NCNG Family Programs in March of 2004 as a Family Assistance Center Specialist in Morrisville. In March of 2006, she assumed the position of Child and Youth Coordinator. Alice feels that working with military children is by far the most rewarding position she has ever held. Before working for Family Programs, Alice worked for North Carolina State University for 12 years and before that, Bell South for 21 years. Alice is married to Norman Dean who is also a member of the Family Programs staff. They have two daughters and five grandchildren. Their only granddaughter will be graduating from high school in June and plans to attend Meredith College. Their four grandsons (ages 17, 16, 8 and 7) are all very active in sports and marching band. During Alice’s free time, she loves spending time with family and friends and her two special goddaughters, Julia Alice and Audrey. She loves traveling, cooking, reading and has recently taken up knitting.
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Meet Your Family Programs Staff
Carry Bandy Family Assistance Center Specialist Charlotte, NC Carry began working as a Family Assistance Center Specialist in Charlotte in September of 2012. She served in the North Carolina National Guard for eight years and is a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Carry obtained her Bachelor’s degree in Business Management with a concentration in Nonprofit Management from the University of Phoenix-Charlotte Campus. She was recently recognized as Charlotte’s 2014 NAACP Image Award Hometown Champion where she was acknowledged for being a pillar of strength to the community through volunteering and support. Carry is mom to two amazing little boys, Kyle age 7 and Maverick age 3 months. Her favorite food is Italian and she enjoys serving others and traveling.
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Charlotte FAC/FRSA– Partnering to Help Service Members in Need Ardrey Kell High School MCJROTC 3rd Annual Meals for Military On 12 March 2015, Family Programs Representatives, Anthony Moore and Genesia Newsome, participated in a "Meals for Military" event that was organized through Ardrey Kell High School JROTC, Switchen Kitchen, and Operation Homefront in Charlotte, North Carolina. The partnership between these organizations and the Charlotte Family Assistance Center (FAC) Office was established in March 2013. In 2014, 109 meals were prepared. This year, over 200 meals, along with 40 meal bags were prepared, feeding over 300 Service members and their Families over the last few years. We are forever grateful for this established partnership and look forward to continuing to work with these organizations in the future. For more information on how to become a Partner of NCNG Family Programs, see the article on North Carolina Military Veterans' Partnership (NC MVP).
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NC-MVP North Carolina Military Veteran & Partnerships Working together to support Service Members and Military Families What is NC-MVP NC-MVP is a voluntary Military/Community cooperative partnership organized to allow service providers the opportunity to engage in multi-service networking to help connect Service Members, Families and Veterans to local Military and/or community resources.
How Can You Get Involved? Participation is open to all Military branches, government agencies, child, youth and school services, faith communities, Veteran Service Organizations, and local/community agencies who assist Service Members, Families and Veterans.
For more information and to find out when the next NC-MVP Meeting in your region will take place, contact: Diane Coffill State Family Programs Director diane.l.coffill.civ@mail.mil (984) 664-6324
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Maintaining a Strong Relationship with Your Guard or Reserve Spouse A happy and healthy relationship takes work. When your spouse is in the Guard or Reserves, you may face challenges that you don’t expect. Even if your spouse isn’t activated, the possibility of deployment can create feelings of stress and uncertainty. There are ways to strengthen your relationship and grow closer as a couple by preparing for challenging times and understanding the unique dynamics that accompany deployment and military life. Preparing for Possible Deployment
Deployment is a challenge for even the most experienced military couples. For Guard and Reserve Families who aren’t familiar with separations and military life, deployment requires rethinking and readjustment. Discuss how each of you will handle a call to active duty. Discussing the possibility openly will help you work out your concerns and establish a successful plan. Discuss how you will handle certain situations that are known to occur when one of you is not available and ways to manage day to day responsibilities. Put your legal affairs in order. Preparing a will may alleviate the stress of uncertainty during the time of a deployment for both the deployed and the family. Other types of legal matters may include obtaining a power of attorney, which will give a spouse or a designated individual the ability to handle certain responsibilities while deployed. Prepare a budget. Household finances are a common
cause of stress for many couples. As a Guard or Reserve couple, you may have special concerns about money because your income will likely change. If possible, put money aside while your spouse is still home to use in the event of an emergency or an unexpected expense. Determine what benefits will change. The transition to deployment will be less disruptive if you understand what benefits may change before, during and after a deployment. Set up a support system to call on in the event of deployment. Knowing there is a system of support available to help during stressful times will be reassuring to both of you as you navigate the challenges of deployment.
Anticipating Being Apart
You and your spouse are like to experience a range of emotions when the activation or mobilization orders arrive. Here are some ways to help manage those feelings:
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Allow one another to feel and express emotions. If you have children, keeping a positive attitude may alleviate some of their concerns and help them cope better with these changes. There are also resources that can assist with this adjustment for children, as well as for you and your spouse, if you are struggling with the challenges of deploying. Acknowledge that each of you may change when you are apart. Change can be difficult to accept but reassuring one another that regardless of any changes to you individually, your marriage will stay as strong as ever and may grow as a result. Plan time alone together. Before the deployment, schedule an afternoon or evening doing something you both enjoy, such as eating at your favorite restaurant or going for a hike. Take pictures and acknowledge this as an important and special time together. Attend pre-deployment events. When military units are preparing to deploy, spouses, children, parents and other family members usually have an opportunity to attend Yellow Ribbon events designed to inform them about the deployment and mission of the Service Member’s unit They include information on the following topics: - How the unit supports families during deployments - How to manage the emotional cycle of deployment - Benefits that the Service Member’s family may be entitled to receive - Practical concerns during separation, such as money management, household support, child care and other deployment-related issues
Finding Ways to Stay Close
celebrated as a family despite being apart. Trust each other. There may be times when you or your spouse feels insecure about your relationship. This is normal. Be honest about your feelings and try to keep perspective that these may be challenging times for your relationship. Talking with someone to discuss your concerns may be helpful and help mitigate undue stress on the relationship. Remind your spouse of your love. Tell your spouse about those qualities you admire in him or her. Let each other know about times when you are thinking of each other. It’s reassuring to hear that you are in each other’s thoughts. Learn about the area of the world where your partner is stationed. Even if he or she is in the United States, reading up on the region will help you feel closer to your partner. If you have children, turn the learning into a family project. Communicate your respect for each other. Express gratitude for how your spouse has managed during the separation. Remember, you are both doing your part for the country, whether you are on active duty or taking care of the family and household. Express yourself clearly. If your letter or email is vague, your spouse may be confused and wonder what it is you’re not saying. If the conversation is complicated, it may be best to wait until a time that the issue can be discussed openly. Send care packages. Include items that have special meaning to the two of you. If you have children, ask them to draw pictures or write notes to tuck into the package. Be realistic about communication. There may be times when a deployed spouse is unreachable. Other times, a Service Member may call home and be disappointed to get the answering machine. Recognizing that it is normal that there may be times that one of you is unreachable can help and staying focused on when you will be able to communicate again may alleviate some of the disappointment..
A successful relationship requires open communication, trust, mutual respect and a commitment to each other. Keep lines of communication open and flexible. Letters, emails, phone calls, video recordings and personal web pages are all ways for you to feel part of each other’s lives. Share current and future plans. Hearing about your life and planning for the future can help you both feel closer. Focus on the positive. Try not to dwell on what’s wrong but focus on what’s right. Reassure your spouse that Article courtesy of Military OneSource. even though you miss him or her, there are many www.militaryonesource.gov positive aspects of life that can still be enjoyed and
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Spotlight on Military Families
Joann Snyder Wife of SGT (Ret) Kyle Snyder 514th MP Co, Winterville, NC
Article submitted by SGT (RET) Kyle Snyder in honor of Military Spouse Appreciation Month In February of 2012, Joann Ryan and I were married on the beach in North Carolina, a day that I will forever remember. In May of that same year, I began mobilization training to get ready for my upcoming deployment to Afghanistan. Joann wasn’t at all familiar with the military life, nor did she know anything about what deployment really would mean for our family. All she knew was what I was telling her. We attended the Yellow Ribbon event and it was there that she would get what she needed to know to get through not having me around for a year. Little did we know that what would happen soon after I left wasn’t covered in any briefing that she had heard during that Yellow Ribbon. Shortly after arriving in country in August, I was out on a patrol in the early morning of October 1, 2012 when my squad was approached by a suicide bomber, killing three of my Soldiers, severely injuring two others as well as myself. About five days after the incident, I returned to the United States to begin a long road of therapy and rehabilitation. Joann quit her job at the time in order to help take care of me as she was appointed my primary caregiver. When I was transferred from Womack Army Medical Center to Walter Reed in Bethesda, MD, she packed up and moved with me. She never left my side. 12
Having to move is one thing but having to leave our children behind made it even more difficult. For the next ten months while at Walter Reed, Joann would do everything needed to make life more comfortable for me and to help manage my pain. She took on the role of nurse, caregiver, mother and wife without complaining even once. She made sure my appointments were made and that I was always where I needed to be when I needed to be there. She kept me going and was always reassuring me that things WERE going to be okay. Today, just two and a half years later, she is still managing all of these roles but things are much better now. She is back at work and she has a greater appreciation for the Military, specifically the North Carolina National Guard. She sees what they have done for our family and has met many new friends along the way. She is always willing to help out with NCNG events and functions when possible. It’s definitely not a journey she would recommend but through the bad times came good friends and she considers the NCNG Family Programs and the NCNG her “second family”. Thank you Joann for being so supportive and loving and never leaving my side. You have been there through the good times and the bad and I love you so much!
Kyle
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Military Spouse Appreciation Month Military Spouses serve our country just like their loved ones. They are the backbone of our Military Families and are our silent heroes who are the strength of our nation. Here are a few of those silent heroes!
Julie, I would like to say “I love you” and I truly appreciate everything you do. It is not easy being a mom and wife of a Soldier. You continue to amaze me in keeping things in order on a daily basis and as I attend deployments and multiple training activities. I would not be where I am today without you. ~SFC Robert Tabares~
Ashley– My “high school sweetheart”, you have been with me through it all, thick and thin. Even when times were tough, you stuck right by me pushing me to do my best and encouraging me. If it hadn’t been for you, I don’t think I’d be where I am today, serving with the NCNG, keeping my head up during deployment and preparing to come home to our first son, Leon Alexander. Even if I had the weight of the world bearing down on me, I would just smile and push through because I know you’re always there. ~PFC Randall Stephens~
Sarah is an amazing wife and mom. She supports all that I do. ~SPC Lloyd Messer~
May 8th 2015
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I want to thank my husband, Josh Miller, who is an amazingly supportive husband. He has supported me through Command, a deployment, and much transition with work to include a lot of traveling. Now that we have a 5 month old baby the challenges are only compounded, but he has never once missed a beat in supporting me. He takes care of our son when I am away for IDT, AT, or just TDY on his own (which isn’t always easy with a new baby). He is not only a great husband, but is such an excellent father as well! I don't tell him enough how much I truly appreciate all that he does. Thank you and Happy 2nd Wedding Anniversary (May 18th) Babe! ~MAJ Sarah Miller
Jamie– I could not ask for a better husband, best friend and father to our son! The military has forced us to spend many days, nights, weekends and even months apart but through it all, you have been right there by my side supporting me and always telling me how proud you are of me. I am truly blessed to have you in my life. You are my lifelong battle buddy and without you, I would not be the person I am today. Thank you for always supporting me and most of all, loving me. ~SFC April Smith~
I appreciate my wonder wife, Evette. We have been married for 6 years and she has been the backbone for our three children and me through many deployments and training. There are not enough words to describe the dedication she has for us and I am forever thankful. She means the world to me and I love her to the moon and back. ~SFC Leroy Chasten~
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Spring Safety Tips Spring is in full swing and we all know that our little ones love to spend every minute possible outside during this time of year. Here are a few spring safety tip from Parents.com to help us get through the season safely.
1. Do a Helmet Check
A good rule to follow is that if your child is on anything with wheels, he or she needs a helmet. The fit is critical. A well fitted helmet sits just above the eyebrows and the fastening straps create a V-shape surrounding the ears and then is fastened under the chin. It should be snug enough that it does not rock back and forth on the child’s head.
2. Protect Skin from the Sun
Even though the sun isn’t at its summery brightness, doesn’t mean we don’t need to protect ourselves it. Most spring sports take place outside during the day so be sure to apply and re-apply a sunscreen of at least SPF 30 or higher to protect you and the little ones against those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
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3. Stay Hydrated
When busy playing outdoors, it can be easy to forget to drink water. Provide your child with water to drink as well as a banana to balance electrolytes. This combination is a much better option than a sports drink which contains a lot of sugar. Pay attention for signs of dehydration which include dizziness, headache, nausea, vomiting , abdominal pain, muscle cramps and lethargy.
4. Protect the Teeth
If your older kids are starting to do Peewee football or baseball, get them mouth guards. The Academy of General Dentistry estimates that the use of mouth guards prevents more than 200,000 injuries a year. Your options for mouth guards include off the shelf mouth guards, a mouth-formed protector or a custom made guard.
5. Seek the Shade
During warm weather, dress your children in light, loose-fitting clothing to help them stay cool as the temperature rises. Also encourage your children to seek shade whenever possible. Children are actually more prone to getting overheated than adults.
For more information and more tips on spring safety, visit: Parents Magazine http://www.parents.com/fun/sports/gear/spring-safety-checkup 17
We spent the entire month of April celebrating Military Kids across the state. We celebrated with Easter egg hunts in both Lenoir and Raleigh and even had our very first ever Month of the Military Child Ball. April 15th was “Purple Up� Day in which people from all over wore purple to show support and appreciation of Military Children. Thank you to all of those who participated in our events and helped us to show OUR own Military Kids just how much they mean to us!
Lenoir FAC Annual Easter Egg Hunt and Month of the Military Child Celebration
3rd Annual Easter EggStravaganza and MOMC Celebration at JFHQ 18
Family Programs Inaugural Month of the Military Child Ball
“Purple Up” Day #purpleup 19
Resilience Training for NCNG Teens
North Carolina is a pilot state for a Teen Version of CSF2 (Comprehensive Soldier & Family Fitness) We are excited about this program, since it allows our Teens to communicate using the same terminology as their Service Member. Since teenagers don’t have as much life experience to rely on, the CSF2 Teen Program gives them tools to use when faced with any challenge, helps them to find strength in themselves and others and helps them to have a positive overall outlook. The Child & Youth Team has been working hard at rolling this curriculum out and is pleased to announce that all of our Teen’s involved in our Teen Councils have been trained in the first three skills which are “Hunt the Good Stuff” (HTGS), “Goal Setting” and “Activating Event, Thought about Event and Consequences” (ATC). These three skills work on the core competencies of Optimism, Self-Regulation and Self-Awareness. We have had a lot of positive feedback from our Teens and we are looking forward to sharing the full curriculum this summer at the Teen Retreat.
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Family Assistance Centers
Statewide Support
Family Assistance Centers are located across the State to provide assistance to ALL Military Service Members and their Families.
NCNG Service Members and Families’ First Line of Defense Call 1-855-322-3848
East Flat Rock Unit Family Contact Center 2025 Spartanburg Hwy. 28726 Rebekah Torres: rebekah.s.torres.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-0565 Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center 4240 West Blvd. 28208 Carry Bandy: carry.s.bandy.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4573 Anthony Moore: anthony.r.moore8.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4547
Military OneSource Here to help you with just about any need, by phone or online. The service is completely private and confidential with few exceptions. www.militaryonesource.mil 1-800-342-9647
Greensboro State Family Assistance Center 110 Franklin Blvd. 27401 Lynn Stenson: deborah.t.stenson2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5649 Greenville State Family Assistance Center 1401 N. Memorial Dr. 27834 Vacant (984) 661-1150 Lenoir State Family Assistance Center 1535 Beecher Anderson Rd. 28645 Frances Johnson: frances.r.johnson28.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1242 Raleigh Unit Family Contact Center 4105 Reedy Creek Rd. 27607 Lisa Faison: lisa.m.faison.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7100 Mark Woolbright: mark.l.woolbright.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7102 JFHQ Unit Family Contact Center 1636 Gold Star Dr. 27607 Wendi Bell: wendi.h.bell.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6078 Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center 406 Hospital Rd. 27577 Abby Millsap: abigail.e.millsap.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-2784 Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center 500 Morganton Rd. 28387 Earlene Capps: earlene.b.capps.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-2683
Family Readiness Support Assistants Raleigh Jason Pleasant matthew.j.pleasant.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7017 Senior FRSA
Greensboro Gloria Fields gloria.d.fields.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5620
Charlotte Nikkie Newsome genesia.k.newsome.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4548
Morrisville George Lane george.w.lane2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6313
Clinton Sarah Strickland sarah.r.strickland.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4735
Raleigh Norman Dean norman.g.dean2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6537
Goldsboro Vacant (984) 661-5423
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Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center 2412 Infantry Rd. 28405 Jim Marley: james.e.marley.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6918 Winston-Salem Unit Family Contact Center 2000 Silas Creek Pkwy. 27103 Sandy Harrison: sandra.b.harrison2.ctr@mail.mil (984)-661-7131
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