Family Matters September 2011

Page 1

FAMILY MATTERS September 2011—Volume 3, Issue 9

“Survival of the Fittest” Deployment Survival Guide Ready. Set. Go. Hurricane Preparedness SEPTEMBER 2011 FAMILY MATTERS 1 Upcoming Events


Family Matters September 2011

Director’s Column | Strong Families

Hello Everyone, Diane Coffill State Family Program Director diane.coffill2@us.army.mil (919) 664-6324

North Carolina National Guard Families are the best fighting forces on the Homefront! What makes us so unique and special is our resiliency and we’re always prepared for the challenges that come our way, whether it’s a hurricane, deployment or reunion.

SFC Ramona Scott Family Program NCOIC ramona.scott1@us.army.mil (919) 664-6000 ext. 47005 SPC Carrie Stevens Family Program Assistant carolyn.stevens1@us.army.mil (919) 664-6000 ext. 46876

This month we have a lot of information and even a Deployment Survival Guide. In today’s challenging times, we all need different “survival tool kits” for whatever we might face. I hope that Family Matters can provide part of the information you need in your “tool kit”. We want to focus on making sure you and your Families are prepared “weather” any storm and stay safe and healthy.

Lana Greer State FAC Coordinator lana.m.greer@us.army.mil (828) 652-4595 Ext 14

September is the month that is dedicated to Suicide Prevention. While this might be a very delicate subject, you never know when you might be able to prevent someone from solving a problem in such a finite way.

Kathleen Flaherty Airman & Family Readiness Program Mgr. kathleen.flaherty.ctr@ncchar.ang.af. mil (704) 398-4949

No matter how small or large a problem is, it can be solved with the right assistance. Our North Carolina National Guard Integrated Behavioral Health program is one of the best assets for your to use when trouble approaches your homefront. Please take action if you or someone you know is in need of a “life vest”.

Pamela Hughes Senior FRSA pamela.hughes5@us.army.mil (919) 693-5016 ext. 11 Alice Dean State Youth Coordinator alice.dean@us.army.mil (919) 664-6000 ext. 16289 North Carolina National Guard Family Programs State Office 4105 Reedy Creek Road Raleigh, NC 27607-6410 (919) 664-6053

www.nc.ngb.army.mil

Also, in September, we want to remember 9/11 and how it has greatly impacted our way of life. I want to encourage you join your local community as they give rememberance. In August, we gathered more than 40 of our Family Readiness Group Leaders and several staff members together for our 2011 State Volunteer Conference and Youth Symposium to find ways to better assist you and them. These Volunteers were recognized for their service ranging from six weeks to ten years. These dedicated volunteers left with lots of useful information to take back to the Units they serve. If you are not familiar with your FRG Leader, please make it a point to get to know who they are and what they can do for you. If your Unit does not have an active FRG program, please volunteer to assist. National Guard Families are the best because we don’t just talk…we take action. As community members, please help us take action in your community so that we can all be state’s strongest Homefront Force. Thank you for everything you do every day.

Sincerely, Diane Coffill State Family Program Director SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 2


Operation Bandanas| Community Cares

OPERATION BANDANAS When Mary Gray's oldest son was deployed to Iraq in 2006, she wanted to send him something special to encourage him during his deployment. She found a company that made camouflage bandanas with Psalm 91 printed on them and ordered some for him and his battle buddies. Upon receiving the bandanas, Mary thought how great it would be if all of the troops could receive such a gift. A few weeks after sending the bandanas off to her son, she felt led to see to it that other soldiers did receive them. That was the beginning of Operation Bandanas, a ministry of spiritual support and encouragement to our military. Since that time, this organization has sent 175,000 Psalm 91 bandanas to our troops. Not only are the bandanas a unique way to remind our soldiers of God's presence with them, but they are a useful item as well. The soldiers like to wrap them around their head to keep the sweat out of their eyes, cover the face from the sand and dust, use as an emergency wrap, and as one Chaplain shared with Mary, often used to wipe the tears from the eyes of soldiers at memorial services for their fallen comrades. In 2008, OpBan received a request for the Psalm 91 bandanas from the State Chaplain for our North Carolina National Guard and Reserve units who were to deploy in April, 2009. Over a period of months, this organization was able to provide 3200 Psalm 91 bandanas for the large deployment of the 30th Brigade Combat Team. There were other individuals, also, who ordered them for their specific Armories in their community. Mary said it was a blessing to know that these soldiers were covered with God's protection Psalm. "Operation Bandanas feels very privileged and honored to be able to continue to support our National Guard and Reserve units quietly deploying out of North Carolina. We are also receiving more and more requests from units from all across the country who are being called up in great numbers to supplement our active duty soldiers. Our citizen soldiers are training and taking up arms as they answer the call to duty in Afghanistan and Iraq. The men and women serving our nation in uniform are directly responsible for the freedom and safety that we so often take for granted. We are so grateful to them for the sacrifices that they and their families are making on our behalf, and this is just one tangible way to let them know they are remembered and appreciated," said Mary.

In 2010 the Army developed the "Comprehensive Soldier Fitness" program. Its aim is identifying individual shortfalls in five critical areas that comprise the total soldier: physical, emotional, social, family and spiritual. Mary said, "Operation Bandanas is pleased to see that we are helping respond to the comprehensive fitness of our soldiers by providing an item to aid in their spiritual fitness. But I think our mission can also help meet the needs in the other four areas as well, as we send out one of God's precious passages from His word to bring comfort, strength, and encouragement to our Armed Forces." Operation Bandanas has become a nationwide military support organization, and they continue to receive requests from Chaplains and soldiers readying for deployment and that are already downrange. "Meeting these requests would never have been accomplished without the generosity of grateful individuals and churches from throughout the state of North Carolina and from all across our nation," Mary said. Mary would like to encourage you to visit the website to read notes and see pictures from Chaplains and soldiers who have appreciated the gifts of Psalm 91 bandanas. She said, "I hope others will be inspired to get their churches and communities involved in ministering to our courageous troops through Operation Bandanas!" Website: www.operationbandanas.org Contact info: bandanas91@yahoo.com or 910-5788840

SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 3


Special Events| Community Cares

An invitation is extended to military personnel, National Guard, First Responders, and others. To reserve VIP seating, individuals should call or email and provide a name and affiliation (National Guard), the number of tickets requested, a phone number and address so that the tickets can be mailed. Information regarding the special reserved seating will be included in the ticket mailing. We ask that all personnel wear their uniforms, as appropriate.

Military Appreciation Game September 10, 12 p.m. UNC versus Rutgers Tickets are ½ price for active duty, veterans and retirees and their Family. For tickets, call 1-800-722-4335

Commissary Case Lot Sale Charlotte November 5-6, 2011

To reserve your special VIP seating call 919-789-5527 or email RSVP@ncsymphony.org. The event is FREE and ticket information is also being sent to the general public.

Make a Difference in Your Community Join a NCNG Military Veterans Partnership meeting in your area. Contact a FAC Near You!

SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 4


Operation Homefront, a non-

profit organization that provides emergency financial assistance to the families of our service members and wounded warriors. Through a Memorandum of Understanding between Operation Homefront and the Army Wounded Transition Unit, Operation Homefront has developed the Army Homefront Fund - a program specifically designed to assist Army wounded soldiers and their families.

Each year, Operation Homefront and the Army Homefront Fund spend countless hours working for the benefit of service members and their families. If you feel that the Army Homefront Fund may be able to assist the Soldiers and Families in your care, applications can be submitted online at www.operationhomefront.net. While there may not have a local chapter in your area, soldiers and their families can still get assistance through the national office.

At a glance, Army Homefront Fund's emergency assistance program includes:         

Vision Care Home Repair Appliance Repair Moving Assistance Travel Assistance Auto Repair Rent/Mortgage Assistance Utility Assistance Auto & Insurance Payment Assistance Food Assistance

Additionally, Operation Homefront and the Army Homefront Fund offer several services outside of our emergency assistance program, such as:   

Should you have any questions about Operation Homefront, the Army Homefront Fund, or have questions about a particu-  lar case or eligibility, please contact your local FAC or one of  Operation Homefront’s national client service managers at 210-659-7756 for additional information.

Back to School Programs Holiday Programs Wounded Warrior Wives Events Community Events Transitional Housing (selected locations)

630TH COMBAT SUSTAINMENT SUPPORT BATTALION st 1 ANNUAL ENLISTED BALL GOLF TOURNAMENT

September 30, 2011, 1 p.m. Lenoir Golf Club 701 Norwood Street S.W Lenoir, NC 28645 FORMAT: 4-Man Scramble COST: $50.00 per Person; $200 per Team Limited to 18 Teams; 72 Golfers; Mulligan's; Skirt’s Available To learn more, visit www.lenoirgolfclub.com/ SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 5


Family Assistance Center Specialist Joins Bosslift for First Time

Photo by NCNGPAO

By Mrs. Kathryn Jarvis, NCNG Family Programs

For years Employer Support of the Guard and Reserves (ESGR) Boss Lifts have given citizen Soldier’s employers a taste of military life.

This past August, civilian employers of the 1452nd Transportation company, hopped on a C-130 to visit their employees down in Camp McGregor, New Mexico. And for the first time a North Carolina National Guard, Family Assistance Center Specialist (FAC), Sandy Harrison, went along for the journey. For two days, Sandy Harrison and a several other employers had the chance to see what soldiers do before they go downrange. Sandy Harrison said," We were able to see the equipment they are going to use. The equipment, the different vehicles, the types of vehicles they will be using on their convoys." The group had a taste of MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat) and learned about the different techniques and training soldiers use to accomplish their mission while away from their jobs and families.

An employer gets the chance to see how hot it really can get in New Mexico. Photo by NCNGPAO.

Single Soldier Retreat “How Not to Date a Jerk or Jerkette”

Harrison said, " It was hot out there. We were fortunate to have a break in the weather…but to know that you are seeing the soldiers in their whole gear… people were like do you wear that everyday all day." Harrison had an idea of what Servicemembers do because she works with them every day, but being at McGregor opened her eyes as a FAC and how she is a part of the big picture. Harrison said, "… I think a lot of times we just get lost, we just float along in existence because we are looking at SRP (Soldier Readiness Processing) dates, we're looking at paperwork, paperwork, having everybody's information and to actually understand now why we do so much of it,… I got to see why all the boxes are being checked now." The peak inside what Soldiers are doing day to day before leaving is something she will never forget and she has "…been able to talk to families and other soldiers and let them know I have put my eyes on their soldiers and (was able to) assure them that everything is going well."

Re-Scheduled September 16-18, 2011 Hampton Inn Ocean Front Myrtle Beach, SC www.nc.ngb.army.mil/ index.php/fp/singles

SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 6


http://www.nelnetsolutions.com/dantes/ SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 7


Deployment Survival Guide | For Spouses and Families

Deployment Survival Guide By Kristin Henderson

OUR STRESSED OUT BODIES

While my husband, a Navy chaplain, was in Iraq with the Marines, I imagined hearing a knock at my door. I imagined uniformed Marines telling me that my husband was dead. I imagined the funeral. I did this regularly until my husband was safely home in my arms. I thought I was the only one with such a morbid imagination until I began researching my book,

While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront. Chaplain Jeffrey Watters described how he and other chaplains on Fort Bragg, NC, had noticed a wave of grief sweeping through the spouses on the homefront. "They were exhibiting the same symptoms as those who are grieving over a loved one with a terminal illness," Watters told me. Then he listed the symptoms. My mouth dropped open -- I'd had many of those symptoms while my husband was in Iraq. Imagining the funeral, crying jags, shortness of breath, insomnia, anxiety attacks... Not only did I not know all this craziness had a name -- anticipatory GREENSBORO, N.C. -- Families turned out en masse July 23, grief -- I didn't know there were techniques for 2011, to honor their Soldiers who are part of the 1452nd Combat coping with it. Heavy Equipment Transport Transportation Company of the North Carolina Army National Guard. The unit is deploying to

(Continued on Page 11) Southwest Asia in support of Operation Enduring Freedom and held its farewell ceremony at the Koury Convention Center here. (U.S. Air Force photo by Maj. Robert Carver, North Carolina National Guard Public Affairs)

Get your clubs ready! NINETEENTH ANNUAL 230TH BRIGADE SUPPORT BATTALION GOLF TOURNAMENT. OCTOBER 14 Southern Wayne Country Club, 262 Country Club Road, Mt. Olive COST: $40.00 (includes green fees, cart fees, meal, and prizes) More information and Registration form can be downloaded at www.nc.ngb.army.mil/fp. Direct questions to SFC Evans, Event Coordinator at 919-731-2021 ext 15414. SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 8


Updates | Program Changes

Change in TSGLI Benefit

Wounded Warriors When you leave the military after a medical separation, there might be questions left in your mind. Did I get a fair rating? What if I'm entitled to a higher percentage?

Effective October 1, 2011, the OEF/OIF provision for retroactive TSGLI will be removed. What this means is that any member injured between Oct. 7, 2001 and Nov. 30, 2005 can now receive the TSGLI benefit if they had a qualifying injury, regardless of where their injuries occurred. Please note below changes in Servicemember’s Traumatic Injury Protection Benefits, beginning Oct. 1. Our challenge is to reach those servicemembers who were injured during the retroactive period, but have since separated from service, and tell them how to apply for the benefit. We want to make sure you are all aware of the benefit so you can help us inform Veterans who may qualify for this change. Explanation of Benefit Currently, all active duty and reserve members are automatically covered by Servicemembers' Group Life Insurance (SGLI), and along with SGLI, they automatically get Traumatic Injury Protection (TSGLI). TSGLI provides payment of between $25,000 and $100,000 to members who suffer a qualifying injury. TSGLI is payable to all members covered by SGLI who are injured on or after Dec. 1, 2005 and have a qualifying injury. TSGLI was also made payable retroactively to any member who suffered a qualifying injury as the result of a traumatic event that occurred between Oct. 7, 2001 and Nov. 30, 2005, regardless of whether they had SGLI coverage, if the injury was incurred in Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF) or Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF). Change in TSGLI Benefit Effective October 1, 2011, the OEF/OIF provision for retroactive TSGLI will be removed. What this means is that any member injured between Oct. 7, 2001 and Nov. 30, 2005 can now receive the TSGLI benefit if they had a qualifying injury, regardless of where their injuries occurred. To view the official press release; please go to this website for additional information: www.insurance.va.gov/sgliSite/ TSGLI/TSGLI.htm

If you were you medically separated from military service between September 11, 2001 and December 31, 2009, you may be eligible to have your disability rating reviewed to ensure fairness, consistency and accuracy. The Physical Disability Board of Review (PDBR) www.health.mil/pdbr was created by Congress as part of the Dignified Treatment of Wounded Warriors Act of 2008. Veterans medically separated with a combined disability rating of 20 percent or less, and not found eligible for retirement may be eligible to have their records reviewed by the Board. Former Reserve members are also eligible to apply. By law, the PDBR may not recommend a lower disability rating. Roughly 77,000 Veterans are eligible for the PDBR, but as of July 2011,less than five percent have submitted applications. In more than 50 percent of cases reviewed, Veterans have had their original disability determination upgraded, resulting in a disability retirement. Although no guarantee of this re-characterization rate can be made, it's a good indicator of the degree of success applicants have had with the board. If a Veteran is awarded a disability retirement, he or she becomes eligible for all retirement benefits normally awarded military department retirees: health care, access to the base exchange and commissary, and so on. SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 9


Play More. Do More 105th EN BN Family Day Photo Recap Photos by Deborah P. McKee, 105th Battalion FRG Coordinator Raeford, NC

Unit Family Days September 10 10 AM 113th SB CO B, 113th SB 110 Franklin Blvd. Greensboro, NC September 11 11 AM—3 PM CO B 30th BSTB Museum of Life & Science 433 Murray Avenue Durham More info contact Gail Dawes, 919-389-4822 dawesgailm@johndeere.com Campbell University Military Appreciation Day Football Game Saturday, 10 September 2011 at 1:00 PM Barker-Lane Stadium, Buies Creek, NC. Registration Deadline: 6 September 2011 As part of the Military Appreciation Day event, ALL military service members, Veteran’s and military youth will receive free admission to attend the game. There will be a $10 admission fee (payable on site) for guests who pre-register with military youth. The following registration link is now open http:// ncomkcampbellfootballgame.eventbrite.com Campbell University Athletics are providing a limited number of spaces for military youth (ages 6-15) to participate in a special presentation right before kickoff. Youth will be selected through a lottery system from among all those submitted. You may submit multiple youth from the same family who meet the criteria, but note that they will be entered in the selection lottery individually. Once the deadline for nominations has arrived, participants will be selected and will receive notification via email.

Please present your EventBrite voucher(s) along with your military ID to an OMK representative stationed at the NC OMK table located at the stadium main gate, to receive your official game ticket(s).

SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 10


Deployment Survival Guide (Continued from Page 8) To combat the many stresses of a wartime deployment, the Marine Corps and National Guard have begun to rely on training developed by Major Chad Storlie and the Magis Group, an education and training organization that teaches people how to self-manage their own stress. In one survey, 90% of the soldiers who'd received this training said they'd feel better if their family members could receive it too. Stress or trauma isn't just "in your head." When you imagine your spouse getting injured or killed in a war zone, your body responds as if it's really happening. Changes rush throughout your brain, body, and nervous system. Glands release hormones, your heart beats faster, less blood flows to your arms and legs. Your bowels may act up, you may get heartburn, acid indigestion, and find it hard to relax or sleep.

Technique #2: Thought Control We think sixty thousand thoughts a day, on average. Many of these thoughts are repetitive and some are very negative. Controlling our thoughts requires us to take charge of our lives, to notice the news we watch and the gossip we share, to analyze what makes us feel depleted or uplifted. "You can learn this during deployment and then benefit from it your entire life," says the Magis Group's Stephen Robinson. "It takes a lifetime of practice." To control your thoughts, first pay attention and notice the negative thought as it passes through your mind. Then, interrupt the pattern and replace the thought with something else. For example, if you find yourself imagining a roadside bomb blowing up near your spouse, consciously redirect your thoughts to something you have control over, something you enjoy -- a gardener might imagine how she's going to lay out a new vegetable garden.

Stress or trauma isn't just "in your head."

A few simple techniques can help you start getting all that stress under control. Technique #1: Breath Control "Aside from popping pills, breath control is the most direct route to regulating the nervous system," explains Elizabeth Hawkins, who heads up the Magis Group. "The conscious use of breath has the potential to bring immediate relief to depression and anxiety." Most of us use only the upper third of our lungs. When we're stressed, our breathing gets even more shallow. Yet most of the capillaries are down at the bottom, and capillaries take life -giving oxygen to the rest of the body. You need to clear out the stale air at the bottom of your lungs to increase the amount of healthy oxygen in your body. To do this, take a deep breath. Then exhale. Toward the end, push all the air out of your lungs. Do this five times in a row. Then sit still and observe the changes in your body. Gradually increase the number of exhalations over time until you can do ten in a row.

Journal writing is a good way to learn how to notice patterns in your thinking. Often, once you've written down your negative thoughts and worries, it feels like you've gotten them out of your system and can move on. Use your journal to practice writing the positive thoughts you'd like to focus on. "Techniques like these help the soldiers and family members deal with stress in the moment as it's happening," says Major Storlie. "That wife's got a job, three kids -- she doesn't need a lot of handouts on managing her time and taking care of herself. She needs some quick exercises she can do while she's at the park with the kids and can grab five minutes to sit on a bench." (Continued on Page 13)

North Carolina National Guard Behavioral Health Program

1-800-621-4136 ext. 1 Because What You Feel Matters. Because Your Concerns Count. SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 11


|

Yellow Ribbon

YELLOW RIBBON TEAM 800-621-4136 EXT. 46054 Dates are subject to change. Check with any Yellow Ribbon Support Specialist for updates at 919-664-6054

Unit

Dates(s) of Events

Location

Type

113th SB

Oct 28-29

Koury Convention Center/3121 High Point Rd., Greensboro

Pre- Deployment

NC State Fair October 13-23 Will there be a special day for military families to attend for free? Yes, Military Appreciation Day is Wednesday, Oct. 19. The day will feature a military care package drop off location, special exhibits and performances by military bands.

Military Appreciation Day Saturday 17 September 2011 at 6:00 PM at Carter-Finely Stadium.

NEW Daily Military Admission Policy: Military adults (age 13-64): $5 at the gate (not available in advance or online, just show a military or veteran ID at the gate)All military personnel, including active duty, reserve, National Guard, retired and veterans are invited to take advantage of a discounted admission price every day of the Fair. This is a savings of $3 off the gate admission price, and $1 off the advance sale price!

PREGAME: Military displays, games and exhibits at FanZone located between RBC Center and Carter-Finely Stadium beginning at 1:00 PM. Ticket Information: Tickets can be purchased by Active & Retired Military Personnel and their families for ONLY $19/ticket (save $20 a ticket) by logging onto gopack.com/promo and entering USA ALL inquiries can be directed to gopack.com/ promo

NC State University vs. South Alabama

SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 12


Deployment Survival Guide (Continued from Page 11) Technique #3: Connection Control I had always thought the military was my husband's job, not mine. So at first I avoided getting involved in any of the spouse groups. During my husband's deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq, I often stayed with my family. There I was, trying to cope with stresses like anticipatory grief, surrounded by civilians who loved me but didn't have a clue. Sometimes I felt a little crazy. But then another military spouse admitted to me that sometimes she, too, imagined her husband's funeral. I realized I wasn't crazy -- I was normal. I began to find those spouse get-togethers comforting and attended them whenever I could. While her National Guard husband was deployed, Rebecca Wilkins actually took the initiative to invite other nearby spouses on regular outings. When she was feeling down, she'd call one of the other wives and they'd be feeling the same. They assured each other, "It's just a natural reaction to an unreal situation." Annie Cory learned to be choosy about the spouses she connected with. During one of her husband's deployments, she hung out with a wild crowd. The heavy drinking didn't help her depression. Next deployment, she made a point of spending time with spouses in her readiness group who had their act together. Another benefit to staying connected with your unit's readiness or support group: If you have questions or need help, a senior spouse or one of the group's trained spouse volunteers can hook you up with services and support.

Military Family Life Consultants Make a Call. Make a Difference John Alleman

Betty Steelman

Adult & Family Specialist

Child & Family Specialist

(919) 745-9635

(919) 665-9178

Technique #4: Spiritual Control An active spiritual life is comforting, too. In her book When Duty Calls: A Handbook for Families Facing Military Separation, longtime military spouse Carol Vandesteeg provides practical guidance and resources for the entire deployment cycle. Along the way, she also stresses the importance of taking care of yourself spiritually. Vandesteeg writes, "See separation as an opportunity to grow rather than focusing on the fact that your husband is deployed." She suggests that every day your spouse is away, you find something you can do to improve yourself. Make time for meditation, prayer, and books that feed your spiritual side. And don't forget to count your blessings. Technique #5: Job Control More than half of military spouses work outside the home. How you take control of your job during a deployment depends in large part on whether it adds to your stress or helps you cope with it. As many as 16 percent of female spouses with children either quit or cut back on their hours, according to a DoD survey noted by military spouse Karen Pavlicin, author of the encyclopedic guide Surviving Deployment. Among spouses without children, 21 percent of homefront husbands worked more during the deployment, a rate that's about a third higher than it is for wives. This probably because, in general, men cope by taking action while women cope by talking. For busy professionals, Pavlicin suggests that you make the most of your time at work by increasing your productivity. Ironically, this means taking regular breaks. Get rid of minor irritations in your work environment, like a flickering fluorescent light or piles of clutter. Join professional associations to keep up with the latest in your field. And put up an "I love me" wall to remind you of your successes and stay motivated. *OUR STRESSED OUT RELATIONSHIPS Deployment stress not only affects our bodies. It also affects our relationships. Army researchers recently found that among returning combat veterans, the percentage facing divorce had almost doubled, up from 9% to 15%. (Continued on Page 16) SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 13


WE CAN HELP YOU REACH YOUR GOALS!

Take the Road to Your new Career NC EMPLOYMENT READINESS PROGRAM LEARN MORE BY CONTACTING: DAVID PONDER Asheville MFRC 7 Yorkshire St. Suite C Asheville, NC 28803 Office: (828) 274-8571 Cell: (919) 485-9567 E-mail: david.ponder@us.army.mil

FREQUENTLY USED NUMBERS DEERS: 800-538-9552 Emergency Operations Center: 919-664-6531 Employment Readiness: 828-274-8571 Legal Assistance: Charlotte Area, at 919-485-9566 or Raleigh Area at 919-334-9957

Achieving your career and educational goals when you move frequently can be a challenge. Let Military OneSource help smooth the way with information about portable work options, flexible college options, licensing, and where to find job postings. Our Web site offers tools and resources for Career Exploration, Education and Training, Employment Readiness and Career Connections to help you navigate every step of the way. Consultants are also available to assist you with questions on training, education, or other career-related matters. Call a consultant for answers to specific questions or referrals to your Family Center Spouse Employment Program Manager. www.militaryonesource.com

Military OneSource: 800-342-9647 NCNG Behavioral Health: 800-621-4136 ext. 1 Personal Financial Counselor: David Porter/704-280-9555 TriCare: 877-874-2273 SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 14


Family Readiness Groups |

Ready. Set. Go. By FRG Leader, Kim Scott and FRG Co-Leader , Megan Williams

Military youth learned Emergency Preparedness during the Gaston County American Red Cross event in August at the Gaston Armory.

August 13th turned out to be an amazing day at the Belmont Army National Guard Armory. The military children learned how not to spread viruses like the flu, basic CPR, and the Heimlich maneuver, before they started to build their emergency packs. The red backpack emergency bags were filled with emergency blankets, flash lights, medical supplies, and goodies galore! These military children are now ready for any emergency that might come their way. After a wonderful lunch of BBQ hot dogs and hamburgers and banana pudding they were off again. Now to meet the people behind the 911 call, including the Firemen, Police Officer, EMS,Army National Guard, and the Emergency Response Vehicle of the Red Cross ( ERV ). To learn how they respond to emergencies. The children got to see and touch the equipment they have, learn how they use it, and the training/schooling they have to complete to hold the jobs they have. They left with new knowledge, a T-shirt from camp, and a certificate of completion. The Fire Support Teams FRG was honored to host this event and hopes to see this program spread like wildfire. We would also like to thank the military families that came out, the Belmont Police Department, the Belmont Fire Department, Gaston County EMS, the Fire Support Teams of the Army National Guard, and of course the Gaston County Red Cross for a day that we will not soon forget.

Pamela Hughes, Senior FRSA 105 West Spring St., Oxford, NC pamela.hughes5@us.army.mil Office: (919) 693-5016 ext. 11 Cell: (919) 485-9563

Family Readiness Support Assistants Charlotte: Nikkie Newsome nikkie.newsome@us.army.mil (704)344-2352 Ext 14548 Clinton: Sarah Strickland sarah.r.strickland@us.army.mil (910) 299-5466 Goldsboro: Greg Smith gregory.paul.smith@us.army.mil (919) 731-2021 ext. 2 Jacksonville: Judy Richardson judy.r.richardson@us.army.mil (910) 347-4352/line 15 Morrisville: Jim Roberson james.roberson@us.army.mil (919) 804-5300 ext. 16313 Oxford: Norman Dean norman.dean@us.army.mil (919) 693-3651 ext. 27

SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 15


Deployment Survival Guide - (Continued from Page 13)

What is a QR Code?

How we respond to all this stress can either undermine our relationship or actually strengthen it. John Moore, a licensed clinical professional counselor who counsels and teaches military spouses, has developed a four-step plan to strengthen your relationship. The plan zeroes in on what he sees as the two biggest problems during deployment: lack of contact and lack of routine.

Smartphones today can do things that might leave someone scratching their head.

Step One: Create and Follow a Prevention Plan The goal of your prevention plan is to ensure that you and your service member maintain as much contact as possible while at the same time reducing the disruptions, worry, and helplessness in your life. First, brainstorm the modes of communication that may be available. Phone, email, instant messaging, Webcam, snail mail -- don't rule anything out. Then step back and analyze your family to see if there's a problem that needs to be addressed before the deployment. Every relationship can use a checkup. For help sorting through the issues, your chaplain or community service center can hook you up with a marriage retreat or confidential counseling. You can find free civilian services through MilitaryOneSource.com. For the most complete services, visit the installation's social work department. Once the deployment starts, agree to let your service member make the first contact. He or she can report the best times and modes of communication after getting a handle on daily life "over there". Set a time and date for each communication. Be realistic. It may be difficult for service members with unpredictable mission schedules to stick to a regular meeting time online or on the phone. Finally, remind yourself that schedules change and flexibility is a must. Moore has discovered that "it's more important to do the communication than to actually communicate." At the end of an hour spent writing a letter or assembling a care package, you often feel as if you've spent some special time with your spouse. (Continued on Page 17)

Gratitude Walk in Observation of Suicide Prevention month Please join the NCNG Suicide Prevention Team, for our first annual walk in observation of Suicide Prevention month to honor our loved ones, support our cause and promote awareness; to be held on 24 September, 2011 from 1000 –1130Hrs. Registration will begin at 0830Hrs and lunch will served afterwards.

If you have a smartphone, now you can take a picture of a QR Code or Barcode. Save the picture and whatever text or URL attached to the code will come up on your phone. This handy tool takes you to websites with one click and can even update/add contacts to your address book. You have to have a reader application downloaded on your phone. There are many free Barcode/QR code readers that you can find on your smartphone. Find the one that suits you best, download and enjoy your how information is just on one click away.

Become A Fan

Search North Carolina National Guard Family Programs Take a picture with your smarphone to get the latest on NCNG Family Programs Facebook.

The walk will start on Reedy Creek road, then will cross over Blue Ridge Road to the greenway trail by the museum and follow it to Meredith College where we will turn around and walk back. The walk will be 1.5 miles out and 1.5 miles back totaling 3 miles.

For more information contact: 1LT Louise W. Waweru, Suicide Prevention Program Manager, 919-410-3577, Louise.waweru@us.army.mil SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 16


Deployment Survival Guide - (Continued from Page 16) Step Two: Healthy Communications When you make contact, make sure it's healthy contact. Worried about infidelity or money? Don't go there. Don't rehash old arguments. Don't share problems or bad news your service member can't do anything about. But do tell the truth -- if there are problems with the children that your service member needs to know about, don't sugarcoat it or be misleading. Between contact times, Moore's advice is to make a list of your needs. If you need to hear "I love you," say so; don't expect him to read your mind. Always share true feelings and expressions of love and commitment. Finally, reaffirm your next communication session. It may be specific: "I'll write/call/email you again tomorrow!" Or it may have to be more vague. Either way, you'll both have some idea what to expect. Step Three: Establish Routine Stay involved with the same family commitments you had before the deployment. Keep attending your church or children's play group. Celebrate the holidays as they occur, especially when children are involved. Videotape holiday and birthday celebrations instead of postponing them. Set aside one day a week for a family event. You need each other now more than ever. And plan regular activities that strengthen the long distance connection with your deployed service member. Corporate trainer Elaine Dumler has gathered more than one hundred ideas in I'm Already Home: Keeping Your Family Close When You're on TDY. My personal favorite: Flat Daddy. Military spouse Cindy Bruschwein had a waist-up photo of her deployed husband blown up to life size and mounted on foam board. Flat Daddy went everywhere she and their little girl went, smiling beside them in all their family photos. Looking at a snapshot of mom, child, and Flat Daddy makes you laugh and cry at the same time -- sort of like deployment.

Step Four: Reassess Your Plan Ask yourself the following questions: Is the plan working? What can be changed? What cannot be changed? Look for new opportunities to improve your connection and your routine as they come up. *We often can't control the amount of stress that deployment throws at us. But we can control how we respond to it! About the Author: Kristin Henderson is an author and journalist, including reporting from Iraq and Afghanistan. Her work earned the Military Reporters & Editors association's large market newspaper/magazine award for domestic coverage in 2008 and for overseas coverage in 2010, and has appeared in the Washington Post Magazine, the New York Times, and Military.com, among others. Media appearances include NPR's "All Things Considered" and "Fresh Air", NBC's "Weekend Today Show", MSNBC, Air America, C-SPAN, BBC, and Australian radio (ABC). Her latest book, While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront, is an in-depth portrait of military spouses in wartime. Her critically praised memoir, Driving by Moonlight: A Journey Through Love, War, and Infertility, details her own experience during her husband's deployment to Afghanistan following 9/11, as well as her struggle with infertility. She's the recipient of a Bread Loaf nonfiction fellowship. Permission to reprint "Deployment Survival Guide" in NCNG Family Matters was obtained by Kristin Henderson. For more articles or information about the author visit www.kristinhenderson.com

SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 17


Child & Youth Program Staff

Child & Youth Program | Resources for Families

Alice Dean State Child & Youth Coordinator (800) 621-4136 ext. 16289 (919) 664-6000 ext. 16289 alice.dean@us.army.mil Kristi Wagner Youth Coordinator (919) 693-3651 ext. 23 kristi.wagner@us.army.mil

eKnowledge, a group of NFL players, and the Department of Defense have teamed up to distribute more than $16,500,000 of eKnowledge's SAT/ACT PowerPrep™ Programs to military service members and their families. Order your copy today at www.eknowledge.com/ MilNews. Recipients are responsible for $13.84 per standard program which covers materials, shipping and handling. Please note eKnowledge does not profit from this venture.

Operation Kids on Guard invites Military Children ages 5 and up for a free one-day adventure September 17th from 9am.-3pm. at the Durham Armory, 801 Stadium Drive. Kids will team up to master the game Minefield, test their aim with the new mobile archery program, explore the world of bionics and electricity and much, much more. Register by Sept. 12 at the North Carolina National Guard website at www.nc.ngb.army.mil, Child and Youth Program, or contact Alice Dean, State Child & Youth Coordinator, at 800-621-4136 ext. 16289 or alice.dean@us.army.mil. SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 18


“Zoo Snooze”

NC Operation: Military Kids (OMK) and the NC Zoo (located in Asheboro, NC) have partnered together to host a "Zoo Snooze" for military youth (ages 7 to 12).

NC Zoo Photo

This overnight adventure will have participants exploring skills and senses of nocturnal animals in this fun and exciting program. A nature hike, craft time, and hands-on activities are just a few of the activities the youth will enjoy throughout their adventure. A snack is provided in the evening and a light breakfast will be served the following morning. Participants will receive a free pass into the zoo following the "Zoo Snooze" on 24 September 2011.

September 23-24, 2011 NC Zoo, Asheboro

There is a $10 registration fee for the weekend. The following registration link is now open http:// nc4homkzoosnooze.eventbrite.com/ *There are limited number spaces available for the “Zoo Snooze”. Additional information: Participants should plan to eat dinner before arriving on 23 September. Military family members (6 per military ID) will receive discounted ticket prices to accompany their child through the zoo on Saturday morning (24 September 2011). Tickets can be purchased at the Zoo's Admissions office at 9 a.m. Saturday, 24 September 2011. For additional information on "What to Bring" to "Zoo Snooze," Media Release, Medical Release and Code of Conduct forms, go to www.nc4h.org/military/index.html. All participants must have signed and completed Media Release, Medical Release and Code of Conduct forms to be presented at check-in on 23 September 2011 in order to participate in "Zoo Snooze". For additional information, please contact Scott Enroughty, Project Coordinator, NC OMK by calling 919.515.8500 or email scott_enroughty@ncsu.edu. To learn more about the NC Zoo and admissions, please visit www.nczoo.org.

Career Planning for Veterans Find out how to translate your military skills and experience into rewarding civilian employment. Assess your strengths, determine the best career choices, and find out about the most “veteranfriendly” employers. Polish your resume, sharpen your interviewing skills, and get out there! This is a 12-hour class that meets Monday through Thursday, from 1-4 p.m. Four sessions will be offered, as follows (choose one):   

Sept 19-22 Oct 24-27 Nov 28-Dec 1

All classes held at Western Wake Campus, Room 110 For more information call 919-532-5694 or 919 -532-5696 or email Yjclark@waketech.edu or Pstaylor@waketech.edu

Classes are FREE to qualified SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 19


SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 20


FAMILY ASSISTANCE CENTERS

Kinston Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC) 2875 Dobbs Farm Rd., 28504 Fax: (252) 526-2772 Gabrielle H. O’Flanagan, FAC Specialist gabrielle.h.oflanagan.ctr@us.army.mil 252-208-0255 Ext. 15817 Lenoir State Family Assistance Center (SFC) 1535 Beecher Anderson Rd., Lenoir, 28645 Fax: (828) 757-4519 Frances Johnson, FAC Specialist frances.johnson3@us.army.mil 828)757-4365 Ext. 4 line 1

Family Assistance Center Representatives are trained specialists in Military Family issues. They can assist you in solving everyday challenges and/or point you in the right direction to reach a solution. You can call us , email us or visit one of our centers.

Asheville Military Family Resource Center (MFRC) 7 Yorkshire St. Suite 101, 28803 Fax: (828) 274-8572 Debra Collington, FAC Network Coordinator debra.a.collington.ctr@us.army.mil (828) 274-8571 Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC) 4240 West Blvd., 28208 Fax: n/a Keneitha Delaney, FAC Specialist keneitha.delaney@us.army.mil (704) 344-2352 Ext. 14548 Fayetteville Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC) 3555 Owen Dr., 28306 Fax: n/a Amy Wallace, FAC Specialist amy.wallace3@us.army.mil (910) 672-5125 Greensboro State Family Assistance Center (SFAC) 110 Franklin Blvd., 27401 Fax: (336) 691-7766 Katy Jones, FAC Network Coordinator katy.m.jones@us.army.mil, (336) 691-7712 Sandy Harrison, FAC Specialist sandy.harrison1@us.army.mil, (336) 691-7763 Greenville State Family Assistance Center (SFAC) 1401 N. Memorial Dr., 27834 Fax: (252) 551-6136 Dawn White, FAC Network Coordinator dawn.white@us.army.mil 1-800-621-4136 Ext. 11150 Kannapolis Military Family Resource Center (MFRC) 6001 Gateway Center Dr., Suite 109, 28081 Fax: (704) 788-0550 Lynn White, FAC Specialist lynn.white2@us.army.mil (704) 788-4554

Morganton Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC) Nancy Davis, FAC Network Coordinator Fax: (828) 437-2068 nancy.davis3@us.army.mil (828) 437-0746 Line 18 Raleigh Military Family Resource Center (MFRC) 130 Penmarc Dr. Suite 110, 27603 Fax: (919) 334-9971 Earlene Capps, FAC Specialist earlene.capps@us.army.mil (919) 334-0195 Lisa Faison, FAC Specialist lisa.faison@us.army.mil (919) 334-0196 Mark Woolbright, FAC Network Coordinator mark.woolbright@us.army.mil (919) 334-9966 Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC) 406 Hospital Rd., 27577 Fax: (919) 934-2901 Abby Millsap, FAC Specialist abby.e.millsap@us.army.mil 919) 934-2013 Ext.16 Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC) 500 Morganton Rd., PO Box 1317, 28387 Fax: (910) 692-3659 David Butler, FAC Specialist david.earl.butler@us.army.mil 910) 692-8747 Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC) 2412 Infantry Rd., 28405 Fax: (910) 251-7130 Jim Marley, FAC Specialist, james.marley@us.army.mil (910-) 251-7100 Ext. 16918 Wilmington Military Family Resource Center (MFRC) 3114 Randall Pkwy., 28403 Fax: (910) 343-6953 Judy Howard, FAC Network Coordinator judy.m.howard@us.army.mil (910) 343-1775 SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 21


SEPTEMBER 2011

FAMILY MATTERS 22


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.