While We Wait by Feed the Hunger

WHILE WE

WAIT A Devotional by

Patt Williams

Copyright © 2020 by Feed the Hunger. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in mechanical or electronic form without the express permission of the copyright holder. Unless otherwise noted, Scripture taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Printed in the USA

Thank You, Lord, for the joy of grandchildren who love You, and for the little one who awaits us in heaven.

In birth order: Matthew Atkins Emma Atkins Victoria Glover Nathanael Williams Jack Glover Luke Williams Owen Williams Emily Elizabeth Glover Abigail Williams Rebekah Glover Joy Yael Williams

Table of Contents Preface A Difficult Season The Privilege Eyes to See Broken Two Legacies The Tape—Part One Barefoot in the Park(-ing Lot) Watching and Ready Relationships The Three . . . and Then the One Trash Removal Our Comfort The Tape—Part Two The Vision The Time Is Now

i 9 11 13 15 17 19 21 23 25 27 29 31 33 35 37

Little Exits Thoughts on Grandparenting Perseverance While I Wait Two Bones to Pick Caesar Extravagance One Weak Sheep Stolen. Returned. Restored The Battle One Defining Moment Coasting Lost Another Look at Grief The Dirt and the Glory The Unending Name

39 41 43 45 47 49 51 53 55 57 59 61 63 65 67 69

Preface . . . while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. Titus 2:13 All of us as Christians look forward to Jesus’ Second Coming when we will be in His glorious presence, a place of peace and joy. But as we wait for that day, God still has much to teach us and much for us to do. There are many who need to hear about the salvation found only in Jesus Christ. Some will hear about that salvation because we also fed and clothed them, looked after the sick, befriended the strangers, and visited those in prison (Matthew 25:31–40). You will see the Holy Spirit mentioned a lot in the following pages. I have always known Him as a co-equal part of the Trinity, but since my husband’s death, my knowledge of Him has become more intimate. I am deeply thankful that He has been my ever-present and patient Teacher as I’ve waited for the Lord’s return. This short book relates some of ways He has guided me throughout my lifetime until now. Most of the topics are meant to stand alone, allowing the book to be read as a 31-day devotional. I pray you will see the thread of a very faithful and active God in all of them. No manuscript gets to book form in a vacuum. I’m grateful to family and friends who prayed for me, cheered me on, and helped with ideas. But I would like to thank three people in particular. My son Joseph never stopped urging, begging,

nagging me to work on another book. Dr. Matthew Byrd was an invaluable proofreader and provided so much literary advice. Vincent Graves used his talents for layout and cover design, and took care of all the remaining details to bring it to its completed form. So, dear friends, until the glorious day of Christâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appearing, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s continue to dedicate ourselves to being His hands and feet in a hurting and dying world, sharing the Good News of eternal life found only in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Serving the Lord with you, while we wait, Patt For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. Habakkuk 2:3

A Difficult Season Many parts of this devotional were put together during March and April of 2020—a very difficult season because of COVID-19. At the time of writing, all students are studying from home, much smaller weddings are being arranged, no one can be with loved ones in hospitals or nursing homes, burials are private and memorial services postponed, employees have been let go, and the stock market has stayed on a roller-coaster ride because investors are spooked. Most things will be clearer in retrospect, but right now we don’t know what’s going to happen, what the cure will be, or when it will end. If we could figure out a solution on our own, might we feel that we don’t need God quite so much? One thing is for certain: God never wants us to live in a constant state of fear. The Lord will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in Him (Isaiah 26:3). Part of God’s big plan for us is certainly to use this time with fewer distractions to reestablish relationships that have been sorely neglected because of our busy lives—starting with our relationship with Him. Social distancing has given us limitless alone-time to pray, worship, sing praises, and

read Scripture. We also have time to focus on relationships with family and friends, using a wide range of social media options. There is plenty of time for long conversations, prayer, and cheering on those who put themselves in harm’s way so we can be safe. From your perspective, those of you who are reading this months or years later, did we go back to our busyness and old habits of neglecting time with the Lord and others? Did we apply the lessons we learned during our isolation? Or were we like someone “who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like” (James 1:23–24)? God promises that we will be blessed if we don’t forget the things we have learned, but do them (James 1:22). Personally, I’m praying that when this difficult season is over, you and I will have stood the test, kept the faith, and persevered under trial because we set our hearts and minds on things above, not on earthly things (James 1:12; Colossians 3:1–2). May we remember that nothing will ever happen that can keep us from living the victorious Christian life. Faith in God alone makes that possible.

The Privilege Traveling through this fourth year without my husband, I’m aware of how much I have needed the Holy Spirit and how much I have learned about Him. But then, I’ve never needed Him like this before. In my earlier grief, I came to understand how much He wanted me to turn to Him for all things, great and small, and how near He was to me. While the Lord provided family and friends to whom I could go for advice, I now had all the time I needed to apply Psalm 37:7: Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. What a privilege to know that He was and is available at any time in my 24-hour day. That during our quiet times together, He’ll never excuse Himself to take a call on His cell phone. That He neither slumbers nor sleeps, and that nothing I say to Him catches Him off guard, even if I ask for things that are self-serving or misguided. I certainly don’t deserve any of His attention or kindness and yet He continually offers them to me. In the midst of various temptations, the “sin that so easi-

ly entangles” (Hebrews 12:1), or painful trials that surprise us, we are to be confident that the Holy Spirit is there to intercede, strengthen, guide, and comfort. The victorious Christian life is possible! Even with disappointments, losses, illnesses, and struggles, the Holy Spirit is available to hear and help with our petitions. When we offer our praises and gratitude, God accepts them with great joy. It’s a privilege to know that even when we don’t know what to pray for, the Holy Spirit does. In fact, He knows you and me so intimately that He groans for us in prayers that go beyond words (Romans 8:26). Such perfect love is beyond our human ability to comprehend, but here, at our very finite level, we should be grateful—deeply grateful. You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. . . . Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? . . . For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:1, 7, 13–14

Eyes to See Because I’m a card-carrying member of a particular age group, I’ve had cataract surgeries. In recovery after my second one, my daughter April said I was quite chatty with all the doctors and nurses, but she promised me I didn’t say anything too weird. Wish I could remember that part because I apparently told the medical team my menu for Sunday lunch and invited all of them to come. They didn’t. However, there were a few surprises for me as I looked in the bathroom mirror that next morning with two good eyes. First, my second cataract had been thick enough that I thought my skin had a natural tan to it. It doesn’t. It’s pasty. Second, I thought I was aging rather nicely with only a few wrinkles. Well, I’m not, and there are quite a few of them. There were two more surprises. I found out that the bathroom sink was a brilliant white—not yellow. I had assumed the cleanser wasn’t working and I needed to try another brand. I also saw that my hair was white. I thought my hair was a dull grey and needed a special shampoo or rinse. What I learned is how easy it is to become self-absorbed when one or more body parts are not working correctly. When I’m sick or in pain, it takes an intentional effort for

me to perceive things positively and not whine or complain. But if Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m feeling well, I tend to forget the limitations of illhealth and the discouragement that can accompany it. This experience has helped me step back and see people differently. Instead of hoping others will pay attention to my health problems or want to hear all the details of my latest illness, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m working to see them first, to see their pain, their sickness. So many people need someone who has a patient, understanding heart and a listening ear. Those of us who love the Lord should already know itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not about us. With our focus on Jesus, we are to go forward, willing to act out our faith in helping meet some of the spiritual, emotional, and physical needs of others. Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12:2 (nasb)

Broken Quite unexpectedly, from one of the trees that tower over my front yard, a big limb fell onto my lovely dogwood tree. It shredded parts of other trees as it crashed its way down, including one-third of my little tree. Seeing how the large branch had finally come to rest on its remaining two-thirds, I knew the dogwood’s survival looked impossible. But, I called my tree guy, Randall, and asked for help. “Your dogwood has suffered a terrible shock. I’ll do my best to remove the large limb and then brace up what remains of the dogwood. Hard to say it’ll recover . . . it’s kind of iffy. Give it one gallon of water a day for a while. You’ll just have to wait and see.” Quite unexpectedly, something really big falls onto our lives, something that breaks apart what has been a lovely part of us. Our hearts are broken. We have been shredded. Will we even survive? Will we ask for help? The correct answers are crucial. They are of personal importance to me since the death of my husband and ongoing relational struggles with a couple of family members and friends. For me, the correct answers are found in Scripture and I must call out to the Lord for help, leaning heavily on

the many verses that strengthen and encourage me. For example: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 The breaking and the crushing can be redemptive if taken to our great and compassionate God, our God of all comfort. Your particular suffering may be different than mine but our loving heavenly Father wants us to seek Him, to call out to Him. There is a certain humility required in calling for help, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to remember that a humble heart is what God requires. And best of all, He will answer! So much of the physical world gives me insight into spiritual things. Looking out the window just now, I see that the supporting braces are still holding the tree firmly in place. The scarring along the broken part remains, but spring brought flowers and the summer leaves are a lush green. That means Psalm 147:3 is true: He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Two Legacies One of my husband’s often-repeated sayings was “In God’s economy, nothing is ever wasted.” No matter what’s in your past, God can always wrap His arms around it and use it to minister grace to others. My background is a mixture of the good and the not so good, but I know how God used it to accomplish His purposes for me. My dad’s mother, Grandma Alice, was a well-read schoolteacher, a hard worker, a storyteller, and a widow, raising five children by herself. She didn’t waste anything, and I can still see her eating an entire apple—seeds, stem, core, and all. The Great Depression changed the way a lot of folks did things. She told stories and memorized vast amounts of Scripture. She loved the Lord and His Word, and was an inspiration to me. But she lived in Florida and we were in Michigan, so we only saw her once a year, if that. A lot about my mom’s mother, Grammy, is in my book, Footprints, so I won’t repeat much of that here. She, too, was a storyteller and was most animated when she was center stage. She also raised five children, but lost five others at birth. She loved to imitate the practices of the gypsies (palm reading, crystal ball, séances, etc.) and taught me for-

tune-telling. She lived two hours from us, so we saw her often. Unfortunately, her influence took me into the darkest days of my life. Neither of my parents were Christians at the time, so my dabbling in the occult did not concern them very much. But once they became Christians, they were greatly concerned. It was through their example that I eventually grasped what it meant to be a child of God. My repentance and my acceptance of God’s truth were liberating beyond words. I could put my faith in Christ and depend on Him to be my protector against evil. What I never could have imagined was that God would use Grandma Alice’s influence as a teacher and her love of Scripture and storytelling to help me teach women in the Third World. God also used the victory He gave me over my dark days with Grammy to minister to the same women. My testimony of freedom from Satan’s influence encouraged them to believe that Jesus could free them too. Please realize that no matter what has happened to you in your past, there is victory in Jesus. Then, use that victory to help others. Since Jesus prayed for us in the garden of Gethsemane, we can be assured that His prayers will be answered. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. John 17:15

The Tape Part One One December, J.L. and I traveled to northern Kenya, to the Samburu tribe, to hold a women’s conference. We had distributed solar digital Bibles earlier that year and we were anxious to get feedback from the illiterate women. We hoped they had used the digital players well. The two-day conference was divided into eight teaching sessions with our long-time partner Francesca Yurenimo serving as the main translator. She had arranged the teaching so that most sessions had at least 15–20 minutes devoted to reports on the digital players. Because of the evangelistic efforts in the area, the women had all seen a small, handcrank machine that played a tape with Bible stories in their language. So, even though the digital Bibles had no tape in them, they still called their new players “The Tape.” Once they started telling how the Word of God had impacted their lives, they found it hard to stop. Woman after woman stood to share a Bible story or verse that had impacted them. We were amazed at the depth of understanding they had. Apparently, the Holy Spirit had given them wonderful insights because their conclusions were like those of, well, educated people. It was thrilling!

One woman said that someone offered her a great sum of money to buy her tape. She told them, “No, this is so precious to me that no amount of money can take it from me.” There were joyful stories from many women who had invited others to listen who had not been part of the conference. One woman said, “It’s like sharing food from our hearts.” Another, one of the younger women, shared the tape with her mother, and her mother then stood to say she asked Jesus into her heart after listening to it. We even heard that one of the derelicts of the village had been listening to the tape. He sent word to Francesca: “The words on the tape have touched my heart. I don’t want to drink anymore and I need to talk to someone about what has happened to me.” In a country like ours, in homes like ours, where multiple Bibles may fill our shelves, we take hearing and reading God’s Word for granted. We forget that sharing God’s Word is a precious privilege, one that brings eternal life to those who accept its truths. So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17 (nkjv)

Barefoot in the Park(-ing Lot) On our way to church out of town one warm spring Sunday, J.L. and I stopped in Mebane, NC, for a short visit with family. My feet had been hurting for a few days, so I took off my shoes at the door. We enjoyed our visit and I especially enjoyed the relief of being out of my Sunday shoes for a while. Once we pulled into the church parking lot, I opened the door and stepped out. I was startled to feel the texture of the asphalt under my feet so I looked down. I was barefoot. “J.L.!” I yelled. “Where are my shoes?!” As he came around to my side of the car, he said with a slight laugh of disbelief, “What do you mean, where are your shoes?” “No, I mean it!” With arms spread wide and utter panic in my voice, “WHERE ARE MY SHOES?!” When we realized that there were no shoes in the car, and when he stopped laughing long enough to speak, he said, “Aw, don’t worry about it, they won’t care. Let’s just go inside.” “Ohhh, you are SO wrong about that!” I replied. “I can’t go into an African American church or any church for that

matter (except in Asia) without shoes! The women are always so beautifully dressed—from head to toe. Tell them whatever you want—I’m leaving to find a shoe store!” May I say with a heart full of gratitude that God, in His infinite mercy, directed me to a shoe store nearby. I purchased a pair and was on my way again in 15 minutes—wow! The worship service was well underway as I entered the sanctuary. I tried to look as nonchalant as possible as I made my way to the empty seat next to J.L., who, of course, was on the front row! And then came my biggest challenge of the day: to set aside my self-centered concerns about what other people were thinking and focus on the holiness of worship. It was a wonderful service, and my spirit was restored! Afterward, Pastor Rodney came up to me with a laughing smile. Oh no, I thought, that means J.L. told him about my problem. However, in the Pastor’s very kind way, he just took my hand and said, “Sister Patt, next time, don’t worry about not having shoes. Just come as you are. After all, you’re standing on holy ground!” Of course I was. If only I’d remembered that. These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word. Isaiah 66:2

Watching and Ready Rocky. Solomon. Shelby. Maggie. Those are the names of the four dogs that live with my children’s families. If you have pets, you know how they become real members of the family and are loved, fed, and cared for. Dogs are especially interesting to me because they love so unconditionally. When I was a child, our family got a mixed black-andwhite cocker spaniel named Sammy. That dog’s favorite thing to do every day was just be with us. Whether we were inside the house or outside playing, he wanted to be actively engaged. Sammy watched us, alert to what we were going to do next and whether he could come along. He knew that when the door opened in the afternoon we were home from school and it was all-out playtime. The noise of the keys being lifted from the hook meant he might be included in a car ride. It seemed like his entire life’s job was just to be in the company of his favorite people. My observation of the four current dogs is that they have the same devotion to those whom they love and who love them in return. There is a spiritual parallel here, of course. What is my favorite thing to do every day? If you were to spy on me, you would see me reading my Bible, worshipping, and praying, yes, but you’d also see me doing sudoku, watching televi23

sion, taking a nap, or going for a walk. Granted, none of those lesser activities are sinful, but if you were to compare the amount of time I spend doing them versus my quiet time, you might wonder. My favorite thing to do every day should be spending time in God’s presence. I want to love the Lord—deeply—and to be intentional, watchful, and sensitive to the leading of His Holy Spirit. My goal is to be fully committed to obeying His commands. Whatever He asks me to do. Wherever He wants me to go. Whatever He tells me to say. Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, like servants waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately open the door for him. It will be good for those servants whose master finds them watching when he comes. Luke 12:35–37

Relationships As we were landing in Delhi, India, the pilot said it was 102 degrees outside! My mind kept replaying verses the Lord had given me as I timidly agreed to go on this trip. “From the Lord comes deliverance” (Psalm 3:8). “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust and am not afraid” (Psalm 56:3–4). And yet, as the trip evolved, a truth hit me full in the face. I am a creature of comfort. I have narrow food preferences, and I want certain temperatures, humidity levels, and clean sheets. Actually, my list is much longer than that but I don’t want the whole world to see it. Once in the guesthouse, we moved our mattresses to the floor, hoping to find a cooler spot, while the air conditioners labored to bring the temperature down below 100. Sometime between midnight and one in the morning the electricity went off. I bolted straight up—wide awake—and thought, “We’re going to die!” What were those verses that I had so boldly claimed before I left, the ones I so proudly quoted to others who were concerned for my safety? Remembering them continued to be very important for the many trips on which we went. They

helped me keep my priorities in their proper place. Many times I faltered as I faced bedbugs, roaches, tarantulas, camel stew, boiled goat, bucket showers, dirt-floor beds, and toilets behind the bushes. If comfort had remained my chief concern in ministry, I would have missed the most important and most rewarding part of God’s plan for me—the people! It was worth all the minor inconveniences this spoiled and self-centered American went through to witness the joy and peace of the Christians in the slums, to worship with those in the leper colony, to see firsthand the exciting work in Asia and the outreaches to the needy in the Caribbean, to watch in awe the boldness of the persecuted in Africa, and to experience the gracious hospitality extended to us in every country in which J.L. and I ministered. Relationships. That one is a very high priority, so we worked at friend-building, listening more than talking, and meeting others at their point of need, on their timetable, not at our most convenient time. After all, in the body of Christ, “each member belongs to all the others,” so we must not think of ourselves more highly than we ought, but rather “with sober judgment” (Romans 12:5, 3).

The Three . . . and Then the One Easter Monday, April 5, 1999 These are exceedingly difficult days for me. The three people with whom I share this house have illnesses that are outside my control to make better. I take pleasure in fixing things and feel fulfilled when making someone’s life easier and more comfortable so they can get well more quickly. But with these three I am powerless. My mother. Dying of cancer. Her homegoing may be this week or the next. All my nurse-wannabe endeavors cannot stay the inevitable. It appears that God will heal her by requiring her presence with Him—her ultimate healing. She grows more skeletal, more uncomfortable, and my emotions don’t know how to grasp this soon-coming loss. From conception to my first breath to today, she’s been my mom. How does life go on without her? My only sister. Two years younger than I. A definite diagnosis is lacking because some of her symptoms are atypical, but it looks like she has ALS. Trying to get answers has left her emotionally exhausted, and she also has a gaping hole left by a broken relationship. She reads and paints and cries

and prays. Her stress combined with our mom’s condition leaves us almost depleted. My husband. Having malaria—again. We’re waiting to find out if it’s cerebral. He refuses to take it easy, so I watch him from the kitchen window, sweating profusely as he works outside in 50-degree weather in a t-shirt and cut-off jeans. He won’t rest or take the malaria medicine and kindly thanks me for not talking to him about it whenever I start telling him what to do. All of this forces me past myself and my three . . . to one. The One. My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who wants me to quit worrying, fretting, and nagging. He lovingly keeps reminding me, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Three very sick people and I can’t fix any of them. But I can love them, pray with them, feed them, encourage them, and then continually and confidently leave them in the hands of our loving heavenly Father for His perfect will to be done. I’m confident that God, who began a good work in each of us, will “carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

Trash Removal It seemed like it was “oh dark thirty” when I was awakened by familiar sounds outside—very loud sounds. The dumpster was being emptied about 30 feet on the other side of the brick wall that separates my house from the back of the store. The truck banged the big metal box repeatedly against its open top and set the dumpster down with a resounding thud. The predictable beeping began as the truck backed up and the diesel engine revved to move the behemoth out of the alley. All sound gradually faded to silence. Blinking my eyes a few times as I tried to focus on the still-dark ceiling, I knew God had a lesson for me if I could get past my current irritation. I am finally accepting these inconveniences more quickly in my old age but I wish I had learned this sooner. It would have eliminated a lot of whining and hypersensitivity to things like this. As you know from the title, my lesson that sleepy morning was about getting rid of garbage. My garbage. So, in that moment, I thought, “What is in my trash can?” It didn’t take long. For starters, I’m guilty of keeping a record of wrongs. There is an ever-present temptation to put those records in my mental filing cabinet rather than allow God to get rid of them. You see, I want to keep the list just in case I need am29

munition to prove my point in a future argument. My second pile of trash that needs regular removal is judging others, but not the damn-to-hell kind of judging. It’s a subtle thing I do, sizing up a person and coming to my own conclusions before I know all the facts. I know this is just as sinful as condemnation. For example, within two minutes of meeting a certain woman, I put her in the category of “be polite, just don’t make her a close friend.” But I kept running into her at unplanned events and learned about her background, saw how great she interacted with others, and heard her prayers. When I confessed my sin, God’s trash removal far exceeded my early morning annoyance. Confession of sins means God graciously and permanently removes them “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12). If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

Our Comfort Each of our children had a special blanket when they were small. These blankets went everywhere with them and had to be in their possession for naps, bedtimes, and out-of-thehouse excursions. They were highly valued, and if they were ever misplaced, it caused a lot of stress and even tears. One of my greatest challenges was to figure out how to secretly wash them before anyone noticed they were missing. If my little ones found out, even the smallest among them was known to stand by the dryer until the cycle was finished. I can still see them sighing with relief, putting their little faces down into their warm—and clean—blankets. There are many times when we, too, need to be comforted. As Christians, we are blessed with a most unique gift from God called the Comforter, One who is far superior to a child’s warm blanket. There is no one to whom we can compare Him, but one of His jobs, if you will, is to comfort us in all our troubles. What an amazingly compassionate God we serve! Of course, our Comforter does not remove all our troubles, but gives us the promise that He will comfort us in the midst of them. I’ve known about this unique role of the Holy Spirit for years, but my husband’s sudden death caused me to get to 31

know Him at a much deeper level. He has truly been a constant companion during my journey of grief, providing a great number of ways for me to wrap my arms around and put my spirit down into the warm embrace of Scripture, songs, and friends. One of the most interesting things I learned was that the Comforter did not want me to stay isolated in my comfort zone. He expected me to comfort others in any of their troubles with the comfort I myself had received from God. At first, my pain was too great to think about anyone else. But as the Holy Spirit tenderly and lovingly continued to heal me, I saw that it was possible to pass along His comfort to others. Human logic cannot explain why the comfort continuously given me has not been diminished by sharing it with others. Although the context surrounding Luke 6:38 is dealing with judgment and forgiveness, I think it also applies to sharing the Comfort of the Holy Spirit: Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

The Tape Part Two There are two parts to “The Tape” (part one is on page 19) because the Samburu women told so many exciting testimonies that I had to include a few more. One woman admitted that she did not share her tape with others, but only turned it on for herself. One day, some of the Samburu warriors (also illiterate) visited her hut to do their traditional singing and dancing, including their famous jumping. They knew she had one of the players so they asked her to “open the tape.” It started with the story about Abraham and Isaac, and God asking Abraham to sacrifice his son on the altar. After listening spellbound to the whole story, they made up a song about it for their dancing and added their understanding of the story: “God has a purpose for everything.” From another lady we heard a humorous incident: “I was walking along, listening to the tape, and I put it up to my cow’s ear to listen to. She ran off!” There were even more stories, ones that went straight to the heart. “Last March, you gave us a valuable gift—the tape. We understood that if we kept it very nicely, it would help us forever. I am a widow and live by myself. I was very lonely until I got the tape. Listening to it in the morning be33

fore I left and in the evening when I came back, I felt like I had someone in the hut with me. It fed me and I did not feel alone.” “We have learned that even when we have difficulties, God will never leave us or forsake us. When we found out how far the Word of God had come down to us, and that we could actually hear those words, we were blessed and are still blessed. Even in the midst of the fighting that is going on now between the tribes, we feel safe here and protected. Thank you for God’s Word.” My heart is full because I have seen firsthand the truth of this Scripture: As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:10–11

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The Vision Early one Wednesday morning, just as I was awakening, I found myself thinking about a dear friend, who is now with the Lord, and how difficult his life had been. A few of our mutual friends had grown impatient with him as his illness progressed, blaming him for getting the deadly disease. They went after him with multiple questions: Was it a lack of faith that kept him from being healed? Did he have unconfessed sin? Was he praying enough? On it went. One particular friend was relentless in her criticism, frequently calling him to unload her anger. I was present for some of those exchanges, and I got so upset I felt I could have physically wrestled with her. She was being very unfair and her conversations were totally uncalled for. Those thoughts were a difficult way to start the new day and they left me greatly upset. Suddenly, my thoughts shifted to what I can only describe as a vision. I was walking in heaven. Wow! It was amazing! I could see and hear people but no one could see or hear me. The woman who had made my friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life so miserable was walking toward me. I was shocked! Her face was radiant; she looked so pure and happy. It only took a moment to realize that I neither wanted her to be happy nor to be in 35

heaven. In my opinion she deserved hell. So I yelled, “How come she gets to be here?!” As suddenly as it had appeared, the vision disappeared and I was back in real time. Oh my, I realized, not only had I not forgiven this woman—I didn’t want to! I felt ashamed because she had died years ago and I was apparently still angry—with a dead person! I had allowed the root of bitterness to send its poisonous tendrils down deep inside my heart, deeper than I ever imagined. Obeying the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I confessed my sin to the Lord and asked for His forgiveness. It was an incredible relief to be free of such a long-standing sin. Afterward, I prayed again and forgave her. And that’s when I discovered that “to forgive is to set the prisoner free, only to discover that the prisoner was me.” See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15

The Time Is Now I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation. 2 Corinthians 6:2 A letter from a friend of mine referred to J.L. as my late husband. I understood what she meant, but I still laughed. Anyone who knew J.L. was very much aware that he was never late. In fact, two of his favorite expressions were “If you’re on time, you’re late” and “If you’re waiting on me, you’re backing up!” Our children and I spent several Sunday mornings in a nearly empty sanctuary because we were there so early. He thought wasting time was a sin, and his involvement in almost all his activities and partnerships was decided on their eternal value. He wanted to be productive for the kingdom during every waking moment, hoping the Lord wouldn’t return and find him “just sitting.” Our family thought it was ironic that he died during the cooldown phase of his cardiac rehab program. We hope J.L. has reconciled himself to the fact that it was okay to be resting that one time. In comparison, I feel so mortal, having much less drive to fill every moment with something eternally profitable. Per37

sonality differences played into how he and I saw things, of course, but I can still hear him loudly saying to anyone within hearing distance, “Redeem the time!” He wanted everyone to make the most of every opportunity. Before David became king, men from each of the twelve tribes joined him in Hebron. First Chronicles 12:32 says the men from the tribe of Issachar “understood the times and knew what Israel should do.” Will that be said of us—that we were men and women of God who understood the times and knew what Christians should do? If so, how should we live now? We need to be intentionally devoted to Christ, absorbing ourselves in His Word and sharing God’s great plan of salvation with others. For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. Titus 2:12–14

Little Exits These days, too many people take offense at differences of opinion on topics like religion, politics, sports, and the environment. In a perfect world, everyone should be able to express their thoughts on any subject openly. Instead, we pull away from those who differ on issues we are passionate about. Our feelings get hurt and our discussions turn into heated debates. It can even result in an emotional chasm between good friends. My pattern is to pull back emotionally when I sense a different viewpoint headed my way. That’s probably normal for most of us. But I’m not talking about dealing with abusive people, just those who, in the course of a regular conversation, may not see things my way. A close friend of mine calls those folks “the little sandpaper people.” You know, the ones who rub you the wrong way. Taking an emotional exit, I make a small withdrawal of love or interest or concern. If I feel vulnerable in an intense discussion, I have also been known to reject the Holy Spirit’s urgings to work on reconnecting. Focusing on my needs, my wants, my happiness, and my win is a no-win. What does Scripture say? 39

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11 Yes, we can have opinions, and strong opinions, too—ones from which we would never budge because God’s Word on the subject is clear. But remember Hebrews 12:14, which encourages us to “make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” The old saying “we can agree to disagree agreeably” applies here. If a person continues to disagree with my opinion, I can choose to overlook it, change the subject, or listen and pray. Right now, I’m praying I’ll take no more off-ramps, no more little exits. I want a brave and open heart to proclaim God’s truth all the time and to show the love of Christ in every discussion. And what if I’m the offender? Scripture shows me exactly how to pray: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23–24

Thoughts on Grandparenting Several years ago, my husband and I worked on this article together and I wanted to include it in this devotional. We humorously agreed that if we had known how wonderful grandchildren would be, we would have had them first! We found that this grand-relationship of grand-parenting was much less stressful than parenting, although it has carried its own kind of spiritual burden. We’ve tried to see ourselves as the supporting cast for the primary actors, the parents. We knew we wouldn’t be perfect, but we prayed that our help would be of value, like cheerleaders cheering their team from the sidelines. Here are a few principles for those of us in the grandparenting role. • Sovereignty: God is fully in control of all areas of life. This assurance gives us a measure of livable peace, a confidence that He will be as faithful to them as He has been to us. • Truth: God’s truth will triumph, whether or not we live to see it, whether or not we correctly model the victorious Christian life. • Honor: Children are to honor their father and mother. As strongly as we are able, we will reinforce and promote 41

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the fifth commandment. We want the only commandment with a promise to be true for our grandchildren. Relationships: Our God is the only relational God, so relationships are of supreme importance to Him. The greatest route to happiness and holiness is to love God and love others—beginning with our family members. Reconciliation: There is not a family alive that has not, or will not, face some degree of conflict or alienation. If there are struggles at the parental or sibling level, grandparents can thoughtfully offer to be a bridge toward forgiveness and reconciliation between the warring parties. If the conflict is because of us, we need to repent and ask forgiveness. Transparency: The Lord honors truthfulness in our relationships. However, wise grandparents pray much before offering their perspective, hopefully covering all comments with love and humility. Prayer: Grandchildren are greatly encouraged knowing that their grandfather and grandmother regularly pray for them. It’s a gift that bears much fruit and can be a sort of spiritual safety net in young minds when they hear the older generation praying for them at bedtime, meal time, and during sickness or stress.

May the Lord provide us grandparents with wisdom, patience, and joy. The children of your servants will live in your presence; their descendants will be established before you. Psalm 102:28

Perseverance Each summer, our family tries to get away from home for a week and enjoy time together. Most of those vacations have been on Ocracoke Island on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. No matter the location, we’ve enjoyed lots of laughter, adventure, and food! With eight adults and seven grandchildren we have also had our share of challenges. There have been multiple struggles with illnesses, infections, car troubles, stitches, cuts that could be superglued, and once, in a mountain rental house, bedbugs! But the two scariest of all were grandson Luke’s life-flight to UNC Hospital with meningitis in 2013 and son Jonathan’s emergency appendectomy in 2019. Both recovered well, praise God! How then shall we view such things? Avoid vacations? Believe that God is punishing us? What if we tithe more, pray more, fast for 40 days and nights, read the Bible more—will that guarantee we never have any more problems? Surely we all know that trusting God is not an insurance policy against hurt, harm, or danger, though we may pray for a hedge of protection around us and those we love. God has promised, yes, promised, that in this world we will have tribulation. It will always be with us—along with disappointments and detours and trials and discouragements that 43

threaten to derail our faith. And yet, Scripture encourages each of us to be joyful in the midst of these things. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rejoice that our loving Father will provide the strength for such challenges. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;4

While I Wait Many times a year I sit in a room or stand in a line waiting my turn. I shift my gaze from my watch to the clock on the wall to the magazines on the table to those in line with me, and I grow impatient. What if all those times of waiting were not meant to try my patience, but to develop my character? Even more importantly, what if those unscripted and inconvenient occurrences were more about what God wanted to do through me instead of what I wanted to get done and checked off my list? A while ago, as I was waiting on an oil change for our car, I had the strangest sensation that someone was staring at me, just over there, to my right. My eyes shifted slightly from my magazine to the floor, then moved slowly over to the shoes. They identified the “starer” as a man. I went back to reading. But the sensation wouldn’t go away. “Lord, what am I supposed to do?” Very reluctantly, I lifted my eyes and looked at him. And when I did, he jumped up from his chair, walked quickly over to me, and put his right hand in his back pocket. All that made my hair stand straight up on the back of my neck! In one fluid motion, he pulled out his wallet, sat down next to me, and burst out with, “This is a picture of my wife. She just died of a brain tumor and I don’t know how I can go on. 45

I don’t want to live.” If you think I was startled, the others in the room waiting for their cars were bug-eyed! With a deep breath and a mental prayer for the Holy Spirit to take over, I began with, “I am so sorry for your loss. Was she sick a long time?” After listening to his very sad story, I told him how much God loved him and that his life was still worth living. I ended with prayer just as his car was ready, and with that, he was gone. While writing this, part of the old song “People Need the Lord,” by Greg Nelson and Phill McHugh, came to mind: Every day they pass me by, I can see it in their eyes; Empty people filled with care, Headed who knows where . . . What could be too great a cost For sharing life with one who’s lost? . . . People need the Lord, People need the Lord; At the end of broken dreams, He’s the open door.

Two Bones to Pick Just after my first bite of a delicious piece of fried chicken, someone at the table said, “This is wicked!” We laughed and agreed. It’s common today to use words to say the exact opposite of what we mean, like a cake called “Death by Chocolate.” (By the way, it sounds delicious.) But, should we conform to popular culture when describing God? Is it right to assign human immaturities and weaknesses to God? Lately, I’ve heard two worship songs use words that incorrectly explain God’s character. I think praise music should lead us upward as we worship our infinite Lord, not leave us wondering if God is somehow flawed. So, here are two bones to pick that cause me concern: 1. The reckless love of God 2. The furious love of God The word reckless means careless, irresponsible, with no regard for the consequences. How can this be true of God’s love? He is faithful in all He undertakes and very much aware of what it cost to show His love for mankind. Recklessness cannot apply to God. He is perfect. The word furious means full of fury (violent anger, wild rage), frantic. Why would I be drawn to a God who ex47

presses His love with violence? That kind of love sounds like abuse and is characteristic of many of the gods of other world religions—but not our God! There is no Scripture that even remotely implies God carries out His love for us in a fit of rage. I have no idea why Christians describe God’s perfect love this way. Maybe it’s their attempt to say or sing something they think will be fresh and more relevant. Really? No one should explain the love of God with adjectives that are contrary to who He is. He is flawless. This has been a good reminder to keep my own conversations, writings, and thoughts true to God’s character. So I’ve decided to mentally substitute the untrue words for true words, like relentless for reckless and faithful for furious. Since there are so many wonderfully descriptive words that can be used for God and His love, let’s use them! As for God, his way is perfect: the Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30

Caesar Most of us have gone through times when someone offended us. I, too, have struggled to keep God at the center of my moral compass. The following story is one I share with some shame, but it turned out to be one of my greatest spiritual lessons. Caesar was a registered, 100-plus-pound Saint Bernard. J.L. was gone often with the singing group and knew that Caesar would keep us safe in his absences. I watched with alarm the first day that dog came into our small living room and stepped onto our sofa. Getting settled, he put his head on the armrest at one end, and his tail hung over the armrest at the other. He slobbered profusely—not good when small children walked under his head. I answered the doorbell one day to a wide-eyed, dazed man who said, “Your dog just ran into my car and dented it, but I’m not going to press charges.” There were a couple of face-to-face conversations with the dogcatcher. “Ma’am, your dog is loose so I have to take him to the pound. But we don’t have a truck big enough so you’ll have to bring him in yourself.” Six years is a long time for resentment to build up in me, but it really did. When J.L. finally gave “the beast” away, the root of bitterness had become so deeply embedded in my spirit that just a passing reference made me mad, even if it 49

was just to a Caesar salad! God led me through three steps to forgiveness. So, in prayer, I began: “Caesar, I forgive you . . . for being a dog!” (I know, but bear with me.) “J.L., I forgive you for adding another time-consuming thing for me to do with four young children.” But the most humbling step was the last one—one I had been blind to. I was angry with God because He hadn’t rescued me for six years. But, in His infinite mercy, God accepted my confession as I asked for His forgiveness. Please don’t let bitterness take root in your heart like I did. Forgive quickly. Keep what Christ did on the cross for you forefront in your mind. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Extravagance Today’s thoughts were written during the country’s shutdown because of the coronavirus. While at home, I worked on a study of the three instances where Jesus was anointed with perfume. The last one in particular piqued my interest. Found in both Matthew 26:6–13 and Mark 14:1–9, the event occurred during Passion Week, either on the Tuesday or Wednesday evening before the Last Supper on Thursday. Jesus was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper. I imagine the dinner was a thank-you meal, in gratitude for Jesus healing him. (We know Simon was healed because no one would have been in such proximity to anyone with active leprosy. They would have been even more diligent about social distancing than we are with COVID-19!) As we imagine the thankfulness and celebration taking place, it may have startled Simon and his guests when a woman entered, carrying an alabaster jar. Moving past Jesus’ feet, she poured the contents of the jar on Jesus’ head as the wonderful fragrance filled the house. Those watching would have known it was a “very expensive perfume.” That’s why the disciples rebuked her sharply and indignantly asked, “Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor” (Mark 14:4–5). 51

Jesus responded, “Leave her alone. Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her” (Mark 14:6–9). Love, humility, extravagance. This woman, the lesser, bestowing a blessing on Jesus, the Greater. Jesus was very pleased with her sacrificial ministry to Him. As astounding as that was, God’s love for us is even more so. Love, humility, extravagance, and sacrifice were on full display in Christ’s death on the cross and His resurrection from the dead. That’s when the Greater bestowed eternal blessings on the lesser, on us. How can we not bow before Him in worship and reaffirm our gratitude by serving the Lord with full hearts, minds, and actions? See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

One Weak Sheep There are moments when I remind myself of certain truths. One of those truths is this: God is especially attracted to weakness. That doesn’t seem right in my human way of thinking, because I want Him to see something in my efforts that earns me the right to be His child. But He didn’t create me to be self-sufficient. The Lord created me, us, to be like sheep—dependent on our Shepherd. Let’s face it, calling us sheep is no compliment! They may be the most dependent, dumbest animals around. It’s certainly true that God has given us special gifts and talents to use in ministry for Him. We can accomplish all things through Christ who gives us strength. But there are times when our minds may shift from the power of God in us . . . to the power of us in us. Therefore, we should be on guard even when we experience spiritual fruitfulness, lest our egos take pride in the harvest. But, when God places me in a situation where I must serve Him through one of my weaknesses, ah, that’s when I must fully and intentionally trust Him. It’s an unnerving place to be at times, but oh so joyful because He gets all the credit for the results. Sometimes, when I’m sitting down front getting ready for my turn to speak, I look for the closest exit. I think, if I run 53

fast enough out that door, by the time they catch me and bring me back, my time will be up and I won’t have to speak. It’s not that I am afraid to stand up in front of people. It’s that I’m always comparing my speaking ability to that of others. I’m afraid of failure. In fact, I am so insecure I get nauseated. It’s a paralyzing place to be and that’s why I want to run. The Holy Spirit is faithful to remind me that where God calls, He enables. So, I bring that weakness, that insecurity, to Him in faith. When I do, asking the Holy Spirit to take over, He blesses. What God is looking for is a dependent, obedient sheep. He’ll do the rest. Be encouraged by the response Paul received from the Lord while struggling with his “thorn in the flesh”: Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:8–9

Stolen. Returned. Restored. Before my parents became Christians, our home life was different. In the pre-Jesus home, Sundays were spent sleeping in, playing outside, going on a family hike, and watching the Wonderful World of Disney on our black-and-white TV. If my parents had been to a bar on Saturday night, the next morning Mom would laughingly show me a cocktail glass she had slipped into her pocketbook. I watched as she washed it, dried it, and put it on the top shelf of her china closet in the dining room. That shelf was just about eye level for me, and I looked at the row of them, wondering why they were important to her and why it was funny. My small mind didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t linger there for long . . . I just wondered. Move forward a couple of years and I was in the same dining room. Along with small boxes for mailing, my mother had several familiar items on the table. Among them were her sweater, her bathing suit, and a teacup and saucer. When I asked what was going on, she gently told me again about her recent decision to ask Jesus into her heart. She was learning from Scripture that anything that had been intentionally taken (stolen) had to be returned. She included her written testimony in every package. If the item could be hand-deliv55

ered, she gave her testimony verbally. The whole thing was perplexing to me, but I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a Christian yet and had no way of knowing how to process it. Years later, as a Christian with children of my own, I realized the impact her new life in Christ had on me. She boldly and unashamedly shared her faith and faithfully obeyed when God showed her through Scripture what needed to be removed and restored. She followed the specific guidelines He had designed for her, and for all her subsequent generations. Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 6:4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;6

The Battle The children were at school and J.L. had gone to his office. So, I tackled the laundry, vacuumed the rugs, and organized plans for supper. I was praising God for the strength and joy to serve my family. But, sometime in the middle of that happy day, there was a shift in my thinking, one that only grew as the day went on. Instead of focusing on service to God and my family, my thoughts began to focus on me and the praise I deserved. I imagined that once our children entered the house from school, they would line up in birth order to applaud me for the clean house and wonderful-smelling supper. And to top that, I imagined J.L. would applaud too, except he would add Scripture: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all” (Proverbs 31:29). However, the children were arguing when they burst through the back door that afternoon. “He pushed me!” “She’s not being nice.” “I don’t like school anymore!” Wait, what just happened here?! Where was the birth-order applause? J.L. arrived eventually and my hopes soared—but he said he had a headache and was going to lie down before supper. My silent anger continued to rise. At supper, the children were still argumentative. J.L. still had a headache. I was still angry. No one noticed my bad 57

mood except J.L., who finally asked, “Is everything all right?” “No, I’m fine!” Dishes, homework, baths, bedtime. I told J.L. that I was going to stay up and read. Going down the hallway, my inward battle continued as I complained bitterly to God that no one appreciated me. Sometime after midnight, I stopped to take a breath. In that moment, God had His first chance to speak: “If no one ever appreciates you or your efforts again, will you do it for Me?” “No!” I said. “I got married and had children so they could meet some of my needs.” When I stopped whining, He just repeated what He had said the first time. At sunrise, I remembered that my original focus had been to praise the Lord for the opportunity to serve my family. So, part of my prayer of surrender went something like this: “Lord, yes, if no one ever appreciates me again, I will do it for You. But, You will have to help me because I keep getting in the way.” As I watched the sun come up, my battle was over. I experienced the peace that indeed transcends all understanding. With it was the assurance, as I humbled myself before the Lord, that His peace would guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).

One Defining Moment J.L. and I were surrounded by dozens of Samburu warriors. Raising one of their spears high in the air and plunging it deeply into the ground, J.L. shouted, “I may be an old man on the outside, but I’m a warrior on the inside.” This defining moment occurred in Kurungu, Kenya, where almost all information is transmitted orally. With our good friend and interpreter Stakwell Yurenimo, J.L. preached about David and his battle against mighty Goliath. This resonated with the young men because they were in constant battles with neighboring tribes over cattle, grazing areas, and water rights. J.L. concluded with passionate insight into fighting the giant that no one can see—Satan. The tribal chief had prepared a new hut (ngagi) for us to sleep in that night. We slept off and on, listening to the warriors sing—all night long! At breakfast, J.L. asked Stakwell what the songs had been about. We were surprised to learn that they were the words of J.L.’s message, repeating all the points, especially that there is victory in Christ to defeat the devil. Except for one or two warriors, we never saw those young men again. Years went by. Stakwell and J.L. were visiting the guards 59

working for the Lake Turkana Wind Project, which was several hours north of Kurungu. These men lived in remote huts in a desert-like region and were hired to keep the area secure as the huge wind turbines were being built. It can get quite lonely in such a desolate area, so Stakwell was checking on them to see if they were okay and if they needed anything. He was in the middle of introducing J.L. to them when one man said, “I know who you are. I remember the message you spoke when I was a warrior.” After Stakwell translated the comment, J.L. said it was so long ago that the man probably didn’t remember much. So Stakwell asked the guard what the message was about. He responded by quoting every point and every example. It’s quite thrilling to know that when God’s message goes forth, it never returns empty, but always accomplishes the purpose for which God sends it (Isaiah 55:11). Let’s never think that our witness to others is futile or of little consequence. When we willingly proclaim the Word of God, the Holy Spirit plants the seed. He is more than faithful to stir into remembrance what is needful to bring about fruitfulness in each receiver’s heart.

Coasting When I was a child, all the children in my neighborhood enjoyed races and games on our bikes. There was always an open competition to see how far we could ride no-handed and then, at a designated point, jump off as our bikes crashed to the ground under us. One of the fathers built a bike ramp and we did daredevil stunts on it, until our mothers saw what we were doing! One of the fun things was to go to the big hill in our otherwise very flat neighborhood and push our bikes up to the top. After enjoying the view from the summit, we coasted back down to the bottom. Coasting required the least work, of course, and was enjoyable—if only it weren’t for the effort and sweat to return to the top. There is a parallel to the Christian life. Is it possible that we spend too much time figuring out how to get to the easy part? Getting a task done fast instead of well? Finding a job that pays great and requires as little effort as possible? Assuming that five minutes of Bible reading and prayer are sufficient for the day? Settling for church attendance without actually being involved in the life of the body? Do we think that once we’ve arrived at the top of the spiritual hill we can coast until the Lord takes us home? Christ is our example, who faithfully obeyed everything the Father required of Him. 61

The Christian life, both the spiritual and earthly parts, is a mixture of enjoyment and pain, work and leisure, blessing and struggle. There is pleasure in a job well done and something close to shame in a job done with mediocrity. Coasting is laziness, and “lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth” (Proverbs 10:4). In Jesus’ parable about the talents in Matthew 25, the master said “you wicked, lazy servant!” to the man who hid his talent in the ground and didn’t work hard to make it grow (verse 26). Let us commit ourselves to finishing well. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23–24

Lost Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? Luke 15:8 One winter evening I opened my wallet to get my debit card and couldn’t find it. I stepped away from the cashier as my heart started pounding in my chest. I emptied my wallet and then my entire pocketbook, but it was nowhere to be found. I went home very irritated—and panicked. Maybe it had fallen under the car seat. I searched under both front seats to no avail. I hunted through pants pockets, jacket pockets, between sofa cushions, under chairs, then searched the car, clothes, and furniture three more times—I even called the store. But, it was gone. Yes, of course, I prayed about it as it was occurring: “Lord, You know exactly where my lost card is. Please help me find it!” The Lord has helped me learn many great lessons during my Christian life. One of those lessons is that my confidence in God’s love does not depend on whether He fixes my problems. Or whether He finds and restores all my lost things. God is good because He is always with me in my struggles, 63

surrounding me with His Holy Spirit. Always, always, His Spirit sustains, comforts, gives wisdom, brings peace, and directs the next steps I should take. I just need to obey what He tells me to do. If I choose to not obey, then I need to accept His discipline without complaint. The lost card? When I put my cold hands into my winter vest one chilly morning, there it was. I could relate to the woman in the parable when she called everyone to celebrate with her! But one of the main takeaways from the parables in Luke 15 is the excitement of God and His heavenly host over the repentance and return of lost people, not over lost things that are of no eternal value. I feel a smallness in me when I don’t pursue lost souls as unrelentingly. One of Fanny Crosby’s hymns challenges my thoughts today: Rescue the perishing, care for the dying, Snatch them in pity from sin and the grave. Weep o’er the erring one, lift up the fallen, Tell them of Jesus, the mighty to save. Rescue the perishing, care for the dying; Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save!

Another Look at Grief Grief is a journey . . . not an event. With an event, there is a beginning and an ending. We bring closure to it and move on to the next thing. But there are some grief events that are harder to get over. We know from Scripture that God never promised the world would be free of grief, pain, frustrations, or even illnesses like cancer and COVID-19. But, He does promise that He will be with us and that He will be enough. Grief comes in so many forms. It can be intense, like losing a loved one, or arise from lesser, not-so-life-altering losses. One thing is for sure: we need the Lord to survive the challenges grief imposes. Since J.L.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death, I have a new group of women friends who have been widowed anywhere from 38 years to 6 months. The older ones have provided a treasure trove of advice on surviving. I think their suggestions can apply to many kinds of losses, not just those involving a spouse. â&#x20AC;˘ First, lean heavily on the Lord. When your foundation is firmly planted in Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wonderful grace and mercy, life and hope and peace are possible. You can 65

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live the victorious Christian life, not just somehow, but triumphantly. Second, don’t expect to “get over” some losses quickly. Be kind to yourself and don’t hurry through them. This is not a race—it’s a process. Third, don’t expect everyone to understand your way of grieving. Be kind to them as they attempt to comfort you in their way. Use words to explain what you’re feeling by telling them in person or writing them a letter. Try to be grateful that they care. Fourth, anticipate that happy events can still be happy, but maybe not completely—and that’s okay. It’s going to be your new normal. Fifth, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You can assign “jobs” to people who would be willing to help you with parts of your life where you need assistance. For example, find those who can advise you on finances, car repairs, and health, and provide spiritual comfort, prayer, etc. Look at those very kind folks as your own personal committee!

Finally, put your trust in the Holy Spirit, who will give you “the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair” (Isaiah 61:3).

The Dirt and the Glory Quite a few years ago, J.L., four other men, and I began a seven-day road trip from Kathmandu, Nepal, to Lhasa, Tibet. At the border of Nepal and China, we rented an old Land Rover. The doors only shut after several banging attempts, and the holes in the floorboards afforded a view of the road beneath. We started out fairly well, until we left the pavement and hit the dirt roads. That’s when the dust came billowing up through the holes, coating all of us in light brown layers of “road.” We stopped for food at roadside tents and took bathroom breaks behind big bushes. The higher we traveled, the colder it became. Nights were spent in unheated rooms, with a shared hole in the ground for a toilet and limited facilities to wash up. Late one afternoon as we drove along the Tibetan plateau, one of the travelers got sick. We couldn’t stop for him due to our tight schedule, so he just stuck his head out the right rear window. Praying that he would be okay soon and giving him a very small sense of privacy, I turned to the left. And that’s when I saw it! Without a doubt, it was the most gorgeous sunset I’ve ever witnessed before or since. It was 67

spectacular with its hues of pink, yellow, blue, orange, and a touch of red. Although I had every reason to stop breathing because of what was happening to my right, it was the loveliness to my left that took my breath away. As far as my eyes could see, the beauty was unbelievable—such a display of glory! There, in our ancient Land Rover, in the midst of the dirt and discomfort and vomit, was an example of the miracle of God’s infinite love. Scripture gives us a visual of Jesus’ humility when He left all that was ecstatically gorgeous and perfect to come live among us—the little dust people: “He made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness” (Philippians 2:7). The memory of that evening draws me God-ward even now. It provided a glimpse of what awaits us in heaven— where earthly things will be gone forever and eternity will stretch out before us, more glorious and stunning than we’ve yet dared to dream. . . . and the land was radiant with his glory. Ezekiel 43:2

The Unending Name Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them,‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me,‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?” God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’” Exodus 3:13–14 In America, we have first and last names, and often middle names, but I’ve never known anyone whose name was a personal pronoun and a verb. Not that God’s name could ever be reduced to human understanding, of course. It has been suggested that I am is an unfinished name, meant for us to fill in the rest of the sentence. I agree, but I also see the Name as unending. After all, whatever our needs or however deep our fears, I am has eternal promises for us! Here are just seven ways I have seen God as my great I am: • I am is my good shepherd (John 10:11). He will always watch over me. • I am is my bread of life (John 6:48). I receive nourishment when I “feed” daily on Him and His words. 69

• I am is my light in the world (John 9:5). No darkness or uncertainty comes from Him, only “Son light.” • I am is my way, truth, and life (John 14:6). I can put my absolute trust in Him to guide me. • I am is with me (Isaiah 43:5). Because God is always present, I don’t have to be afraid. • I am is my Lord who heals me (Exodus 15:26). I can bring all my illnesses and struggles to Him. • I am is my resurrection and life (John 11:25). Since I am in Christ, death and the grave are defeated. May the Lord’s unending promises remind us of an unending list of His unending love. “I am the Alpha and Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.” . . . “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever!” Revelation 1:8, 17–18

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore, encourage one another with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4:16â&#x20AC;&#x201C;18