MY LOVE STORY By: Charnheil
“Goodbye, Buddy! I wished there were no hurt feelings between us. I just stared at him at the moment he was uttering the words. No one dared to speak. He pushed open the door ready to go to his boarding house. I didn’t move to hold him, I said, “I don’t care”. That statement was only a foolish joke not meant to be taken seriously. But he finally opened the wooden door and was about to go. Suddenly, an unexplained longing gripped over me. I was not ready to let him go. I called after him “Dear what’s the problem? Please come back, I don’t mean what I said…” But he didn’t answer. He just leaves. I ran after him. I was pacing in the floor and stopped at the seventh step of the stairs as I gazed him going down the stairs. My eyes hooked up on his back but could not see what he felt. He looked up to me
and said good luck! “It’s better to have this way rather than to go along. It’s best for us to just forget each other”. I felt something strange. There as this heavy clog deep within that I felt like bursting into tears! I pulled him but he struggled and pushed me back. When we were still, he calmly turned his back and walked away forever in my life. Once again, I pulled him near to me. I wanted clarifications for things, once and for all. “I’m sorry for bothering you, I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done, I promise not to disturb you anymore”, he said. “Is this would be forever?” I asked and landed my vision on him as he nodded sadly. My eyes, the mirror to my distressed soul closed tightly and suppressed the tears from falling down. I held him close enough and saw his eyes. I was touched to see those clear crystal-like drops came
out from his deep-penetrating sense of sight, despite the dimness of the place. He told me he was hurt and he was willing to give up what we have. He said, he’s giving us space from each other to discover both our inner selves if we can make it through without each other. What hurt me was when he said he’ll try not to miss me, see me and remember me anymore. I was truly speechless. I was caught tonguetied. And there was a deafening silence. All of a sudden, with a bitter laughter, I made a decision, which I prayed not to regret. I don’t know if I have the bones for it but I made up my mind. I will give him what he asked for, even if it meant losing him forever in my system. I thought he was really right. Giving ourselves a time to contemplate on things is the best solution to the dilemma we were facing. To end the dramatic scene, I pushed him hard to go away, to walk away and him to be out of my sight now and forever. But he remained still, curling his body and looked down in the cement and ground. He said he’ll retreat later but I insisted on him to go away that moment. After a few second, he stood up and took his steps, out of my sight, out of my life, out of my world. I remained standing absentmindedly. He said there
should be no hurt feelings but then, why did I find myself longing for him? My arms want to hug him. Unknowingly, I felt the hard lump on my throat. I blinked and noticed I was misty-eyed. I pointed upward, Lord, was I right in letting him walk away climbed up the stairs, closed the door and threw myself in bed. Gloominess was an understatement of my feelings that day. There was a minute that I just kept staring the rough floor and stay there motionless, undecided what to do. Even if I was working the household chores, thoughts rushed to my mind and kept taunting me. To forget what was bothering me, I slept and thank God, I succeeded. But, it stuck me again when I woke up. I took a cold bath and went to his board mate. She handed me a letter from him telling me that if ever we are meant to be, hoped that God Almighty would bring me close to him. Saturday night 11:00 o’ clock p.m., I cried with all my heart’s content unto the Lord telling Him I’m not ready for the heartache! That couldn’t bear the pain of losing him totally. If it’s our decision to apart, I asked Him not to let it be painful. I prayed to Him to grant my wish that if I dream of him in the cold night, I would win him back! I fell asleep. And amazingly, I dreamed of him, the two of us talking!
Sunday 4:45 in the afternoon, miracle of all miracles, he arrived in the house telling me he cannot make it without me...! That he also felt what I had. What else could I do? I immediately forgave him and hugged him. Words do not really matter as long as he was there! God made a way for us to realize that, life is unbearable if we don’t have each other. And we understood that every problem is just too small to break us together. We parted again, but this time, with a new emerald of hope deep within our hearts for tomorrow.